Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S05 EP7: A Helicopter Ride With The Bishop

Episode Date: August 9, 2022

S05 EP7: A Helicopter Ride With The Bishop More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh...Please rate and leave a review Thanks Rob + Josh (and Michael) If you want to get in touch w...ith the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.comBIG NEWS.... we're writing a book! ⭐ All the stories we can’t tell on the podcast – in depth.⭐ What it’s like to raise a stiff neck and a loose neck – straight from the horse’s mouth (our parents)⭐ And.. the BIGGEST REQUEST WE’VE EVER HAD FOR THE PODCAST… Hearing from our wives, Rose & Lou. They’ve got a chapter each and YOU can submit your burning questions to them... PARENTINGHELLBOOK@BONNIERBOOKS.CO.UKWhat's it really like to be a parent? And how come no one ever warned Rob or Josh of the sheer mind-bending, world-altering, sleep-depriving, sick-covering, tear-inducing, snot-wiping, bore-inspiring, 4am-relationship-straining brutality of it all? And if they did, why can't they remember it (or remember anything else, for that matter)?And just when they thought it couldn't get any harder, why didn't anyone warn them about the slices of unmatched euphoric joy and pride that occasionally come piercing through, drenching you in unbridled happiness in much the same way a badly burped baby drenches you in milk-sick?Join Josh and Rob as they share the challenges and madness of their parenting journeys with lashings of empathy and extra helpings of laughs. Filled with all the things they never tell you at antenatal classes, Parenting Hell is a beguiling mixture of humour, rumination and conversation for prospective parents, new parents, old parents and never-to-be parents alike.Find out everything you need to know, including how you could win a pair of tickets to the Parenting Hell LIVE tour & an overnight stay in London here: https://www.bit.ly/ParentingHellBookIf you want to get in touch with the show here's how:EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.ukTWITTER: @parenting_hellINSTAGRAM: @parentinghellMAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Willickham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we'll be chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course,
Starting point is 00:00:36 tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing. Looking for a collaborator for your career, a strong ally to support your next level success, you will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue. York You.c.c.a. What does possible sound like for your business? It's more cash on hand to grow with up to 55 interest-free days. Redefine possible with Business Platinum.
Starting point is 00:01:13 That's the powerful backing of American Express. Turns and commissions apply. Visit A.X. . Parenthood. to the parent in hill with. Okay, baby, can you say Josh Whittakum? Josh Wittickum.
Starting point is 00:01:27 And Rob Beckett. Good girl. She's a barrel of last. She's full of beans. There, this is two-year-old Fionns' efforts at an intro. Apologies for the background noise. She was obviously rustling a Greg's bag. I couldn't even hear it. Thanks for keeping it real and sexy. Nia and Fion Miller Jones, St.
Starting point is 00:01:45 Albans. Oh, St. Albans. Very nice name, isn't it? Fion, he's an Irish? I don't know. William Hague's wife was called Fion. That's all I've got. How do you know that? How do you know that?
Starting point is 00:01:55 Fion? William, . Tory part, well it still is I imagine, his wife I don't know if they're still together. Oh, Fion's two F's, Fion. Yeah for Fion. Yeah, I think he's still married to William Hague. Oh, there we go. He's a keeper. Yeah, she went to Oxford. We should mention Rob the incredible news that we haven't mentioned. What's that? That we have a listener in... Oh, Pine Bluff! Pine Bluff! Yes, we even mentioned that. We mentioned Pine Bluff. We had one person that listened to this show in Pine Bluff in Arkansas. The worst place in Arkansas. It's one of the most dangerous cities in America. And we had, can you read out the message of the person that listened? Yes, this is from Samantha Evans.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Rie Arkansas, I listened once was visiting a friend in Pine Bluff. There we go. It's, that is the person. I'm British and lived in San Francisco. Wow. There's a British population in Arkansas as well as Walmart is based there, which bought Asda so they brought British people over to sort out that online grocery side. There you go. Imagine that you work at Asda. the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. I was. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm th. I's, th. I'm, th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It is is, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. I's, th. I's th. I's th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I was. I was. I Imagine that you work at Asda right you're an as the head office in the UK probably something like Tamworth somewhere Midlandsy nothing wrong with Tamworth but you go Walmart have bought Asda I'm moving to the American head office where you're going pine bluff oh god pine bluff everyone in you're in the little town you grew up in oh my god they're moving to America their job at Asda yeah and then you're like yeah it's great the the the the the th pretend pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending pretending to to to to to to to to to to te te te tha tha tha tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom tom tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom worth tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom t. the the tom tom tom the tom tom tom tom tom tom tom the tom they tom they. they tom they tom tom tom tom tom they tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom tom the little town you grew up in, oh my god have you heard, they're moving to America, their job at Azda, yeah,
Starting point is 00:03:26 and then you're like, yeah, it's great, pretending you live in New York. Send him stock photos of Manhattan, but you're in Pine Bluff. Asda's based in Leeds, Rob. Oh is it? Yeah, which has got, it's a nice place I like York as well. I'd go York over Leeds personally. Oh, York for me is my, I'd say my favorite city in the UK. It's up there, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:03:48 Oh, it's beautiful. But no, it's no Pine Bluff though? No. In Arkansas. Right, I've got, this is the correspondent special. And we've got, I've been going to go th through through through through through through through through through through through through through through through through through through through through through to go through through through through through through to go through through through through through their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I-s. I-I. their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the their their their their their their the Michael, has consolidated these thousands of emails into it. Hit me. Right, okay, I'm gonna start off with something big. Okay. I laugh so much, I wrote off my car. What?
Starting point is 00:04:12 My name's Lydia. Richard Hammond. Oh, sorry. Um, ha ha ha ha. My name's Lydia. And my brother introduced me to the podcast and this is the only time I'll admit he was right. It's epic. Anyway, I work in a busy A&E department, which is a commute of one hour, 30 minutes away, so
Starting point is 00:04:30 a perfect time to listen to episodes. On my way home from work, I was listening to the episode in Series 1 with Jen Brista and laughed so much, I clipped my tire which sent my car to their, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which is a the car, which is a the car, which is a the car, which is a their, which is a their, which is a their, which is a t, which is a t, which is a t, which is a t, and a t, which is a tie, and a t. tree, and a tie, and a tie, and a tie, and a tie, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a their, and a t. t. t. tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, and a tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, and a tree, and a tree, and a tree up in a tree in a ditch. Right in my car off, breaking my wrist, splitting my knee, and injuring my shoulder, probably not it's miles away. No one else was injured and I'm okay now after a few months off. Just thought there was a huge win. A huge win for the podcast. I'm not sure any...twin for the podcast. We almost killed you. Any other comedies can say they almost almost call someone to laugh themselves dead. You guys are epic I have three kids and you are making you are nailing it every episode. Thank you keep going
Starting point is 00:05:12 please Lydia. Yeah I'm apologies for that and yes you must be enough from my speed awareness course you must concentrate on the to see if it's a 20. What's the rules on hilarious podcasts in the speed awareness course? Yeah, I didn't feel comfortable asking that. Yeah. Hi guys, I present a highly relatable podcast. I'm just wondering, should you be listening to podcasts or not? But that's Lydia. Well, I hope you feel better, Lydia. I'm sorry about that, but also... Stick to off menu when you're driving. When you're driving and you don't and you don't, stick to off menu, you'll be fine. Just sort of shout pop-a-doms every 20 minutes or whatever it is they do. Are they still going? You're that bloody, that bloody Elton John on the guy that played
Starting point is 00:05:55 out and John, Tyra and Agarton. Is that what we're a Brian Cluff on again. We'll have to do Cluffy Blair and Frost on it and don't know who was Frost. Yeah. That's good because I'm interviewing people from beyond the grave. Right, here we go. Now what do you want Josh? I'm going to give you some choice. We've got some parents and fails, we've got some Boomer stories, we've got some boomer stories, we got some boomer stories, people we didn't th people we didn't th people we didn't th, we didn't th, we didn't th, we didn't th, we didn't th, we didn't th, we didn't th, we didn't th, we didn't th, we didn't th, th, th, th th th the, their the, their tho, th frost, he's throst, he's their fost, he's fost, he's fost, he's fost, he's fost, he's fost, he's frost, he's frost, he's frost, he's frost, he's frost, he's frost, he's f frost, he's f frost, he's f f f frost, he's f f f f f f f f f f f f frost, he's f f f f frost, he's f frost, he's f f frost, th frost, th frost, th frost, th frost, tho fosts, throsts, who's throsts, who's throsts, who's throst, who's throst, who's throst, who's fosts, who's fosts, who's fosts, who's fost, he's fost, he kid. Let's go, they start with Boomer stories because they're classics aren't they? Okay, oh before we do Boomer I've got this about... Give me the fucking choice and then you take it away from me. What's the point of the top? Okay, no, but it was another choice. Someone who said they heard the podcast in a taxi. Oh, okay, yeah. This is quite good and thi and thu. And thu. And thu. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, I've th tho, I've tho, I've tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I I I I I I've tho, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. thoo Uber the other day and a driver was listening to your pod. At first I was irritated because I wanted silence, but I found myself laughing out loud pretty soon.
Starting point is 00:06:50 That was only five days ago and I've since listened to about 15 of your podcast. I love them and often roaring with laughter as I'm cleaning the house, cooking or walking a dog. I always knew I didn't want kids and now I'm even more sure sure to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I'm to to to to to to toldld. told. told. told. told. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. I was. I was. I was their their sure of that. Wow. That's from Charlie. We've done our job for overpopulation. I know. We are, I think we should start investing in condoms. Yeah, maybe we should. We're driving the condom industry. Hard. Well done Charlie. And thank you to the Uber driver. Yeah. Hope you tipped him. Do you rate Uber? Do you rate Uber? Do you rate Uber? Do you rate Uber? I thu. Well I I I I I I I I I've th? I've th. I've not. I've not. I've not. I've not. I've not. I've not. I've not. I've not. I've not. I've not. I've not. I've not. I've not. I've not th. I've not th. I've not th. I've not th. I've not. I've not th. I've not th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I th. I I I I I I I I I I I th. I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've not thi. I've not tho. I've not thooo. I've thooooooooooooo. I've thooooo. I thoo. I tho. I tho. I th. I th Do you want some boomer? Yeah. Do you rate Uber? I forget to rate Uber. Oh I thought he meant it as a company. Did you rate Uber? I don't know. I've not been in Uber and cab shortage is doing my head in? Because they all quit during lockdown Rob. Oh mate. They're nowhere. They used to be everywhere. I know they're there's not enough the the tab drivers either because they're all the fucking. the the the the the the the tab. the the the tab. the the the the the the the tab. the the the the the the the the the tab. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tube. the the the their their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. I. tube. tube. I. I. tube. tube. I. I. tube. I. tube. tube. I. tube. tube. tube. I. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. I. tube. tube. I. I. tube. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I Rob. Yeah I know so there's not enough Uber's
Starting point is 00:07:45 there's not enough Black Cab drivers either because they're all the old ones quit. I ordered a Black Cab the other day. It was 13 minutes away. 13. Now you've gone quite London. I looked at the map. He was basically, it was up four miles away.
Starting point is 00:08:00 I wanted to text him and go, mate, don't come and get me. The journey is less than it's gonna take you to get to me. But that is quite London, but also you're what we are used to in London. Two minutes max. Yeah, exactly. So if something's not two minutes away now, I am fuming. I'm a terrible human being being a being a to the bus stop, four minutes, you're like, are you effing kidding me? Four minutes! What am I going to do? Listen to a song?
Starting point is 00:08:29 Like... Just for one song, though. One song! But the only time you found something, the bus is there. Yeah, exactly. I know. I've just become so impatient because I went for a period of my life, where if I ordered an Uber it was never more than a minute away. It was mental. There was a point in London where if you walked out onto the street, about five black cabs would go past.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Yeah, I feel like an old person talking about the old days, but the old days were 2019. Yeah, pre-Covid old days. Right, we got some boomers here. Triggered by a boomer story in last week's episode I felt toeolorededededededededededededededededededededededededed, toeulled, toeulled, toed, toed, toed, toed, told, told, told, told, told, to, tho, to, tho, to, to, to, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I, I, to, to, to, to, th.......... We, th.a, tho, th. Wea, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho.a, tho.a, thoo.a.a.a.a.a.a'a'a'a'a, too. Wea, too last week's episode, I felt compelled to message, now the flashbacks have eased. I studied standard grade, Scottish equivalent of GCSE, history at high school. One of the modules was the two world wars. There were two standard grade classes next door to each other, and partway through a lesson, the other teacher came into our class. teacher then relayed the message that our country was at war. What?
Starting point is 00:09:27 Bear in mind this would have been 98-99, so not long after the Gulf War had ended. We were told our dads had already been called up and wouldn't be there when we got home. We were 14. We all started crying and screaming and generally inconsolable. Even after the teachers explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained explained the teachers is explained the teachers is explained the teachers is explained the teachers is explained is explained the teachers is explained is explained is explained is explained is explained is explained the teachers is explained.... the teachers is explained. the teachers is explained. the teachers is their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi it was a set up to experience what it would have been like for our grandparents when war broke out in 1939. Oh my god. Q many parent complaints and the teachers never repeating the stunt again. That is incredible. That is sick, isn't it? But I kind of admire it. It's like just you don't need to experience it to learn about it.
Starting point is 00:10:01 If you're studying to become a doctor, you don't like take your own appendix to experience to experience to experience to learn about it. If you're studying to become a doctor you don't like take your own appendix out to know what the recovery time is. No, no, exactly. Don't have to experience it to learn about it. I understand that war is bad. Yeah. I'm going to say it. I understand it must have been horrific. Yeah. But I don't need to sleep in a tube station overnight to know what ABH is. No, exactly. to th th the courtroom, you don't need to be punched in the face to know what A-B-H is. No, exactly, exactly. I know it would be good. Yeah, the judge, it would be a terrible job being a judge, wouldn't it? What you got on this week?
Starting point is 00:10:35 Yeah, burglary, they judge got more and more pissed off. Yeah, he's having a terrible week. I had two burglaries, two assaults. It's a nightmare. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber one for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there for zero dollar delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you
Starting point is 00:11:11 think university is for. Get Uber one for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Jain for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Here's another boom of parenting story. For my fourth birthday, I've got three goldfish as a gift and loved them. One night my dad sat me and my little sister down to watch a trick. He proceeded to grab one of the fish out of the tank in front of us and eat it. Oh no. And eat it. We were hysterical. My parents laughed their heads off as it turned out my mother carved a goldfish out of a carrot and floated it in the tank for a dad to trick us with. He had to count out the Romanian fish dozens of times to persuade us he hadn't really murdered one.
Starting point is 00:11:54 He blamed my mother, who to this day maintains it was funny, I will never forgive her. Would you eat a fish? I wouldn't, what, what, like, a carrot, a, a carrot, a carrot, a carrot, a carrot, a, a carrot, a, a carrot, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, toooooooooomomorrow, tooooomorrow, ta, toda, today, today, toa, toa, toa, toa, to what, a carrot fish? Carot fish, yeah. It's not my kind of humor. I can see how you think that would go well. Do you know what I mean? It is a funny joke. There's no denying it is a funny trick. Yeah, it's a funny trick on the, as how it knew it all in the audience. Yeah, so like for example, if you had that goldfish and your mate came around for a coffee, you made him a coffee and you're hungry, and then you pick up the carrot fish and eat it. Yeah, exactly. In front of him and then Carrie are making the coffee and tea while they're just like, what has gone on? that your parents have eaten your fish. That's horrible. I don't know why I don't know why the mum is never going to be forgiven. It feels a bit unfair. She carved
Starting point is 00:12:47 the carrot and it was why they said it was her idea. Yeah but she didn't she didn't perform the trick. That's like not forgiving Debbie McGee for something Paul Daniels did. Do you know what I mean? I think the dad's as larval as the fucking carrot fish. Imagine if he picked up the wrong fish by mistake. Well, I've got more parenting fails here. This is more just not very good at parenting rather than boomer. I thought I'd share my parenting fowl this week. My three-year-old likes to collect treasure, shiny stuff when we're out and about. He slips it in the bottom of the buggy.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Unbe known to me, he he. Vape. Turned out it worked. He didn't, did he? Came out to the garden to see plumes of smoke coming out as he sucked on the vape. How would he work to do it? Didn't even ask for anonymous there, doesn't give a shit. No, couldn't give a shit. Yeah, he was on the vape at the back, don't worry about it. Oh my god. That is incredible. I've got a good birth birth birth th Josh. Oh no. This one's from Amy and Tom. It was November 2021 during lockdown,
Starting point is 00:13:48 and we opted for a homebirth. We had a little pool set up in the living room, and our eldest was napping upstairs. These are brave people. Yeah. The midwives hadn't arrived yet, and I needed a hot water. We'd run out of hot water. So in a panic, Tom hurtled past me with me bucket to go and ask the neighbors for water.
Starting point is 00:14:06 You'd just do the kettle, wouldn't you? Yeah, of course. Anyway, he's not done that. Tom's gone next door. Anyway, at that moment, I felt the head coming. Oh my God. So at the moment, she's in a birthing pool. Oh, the thoom, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the the, the the, the the, the, the, the the the the th. th. the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. th. the main issue. Yeah anyway so the back there's a toddler upstairs sleeping her husband's next door. Anyway the head was coming out
Starting point is 00:14:28 and he made it back with the hot water as I gave birth to the baby. No midwives. Oh my word. It was pretty special just being there the two of us. I stood up in the pool with the umbilical call that was really short so I was all hunched over. I lifted the baby's bow up as much as I could and I asked Tom, what do we have? He looked tilted his head squinted a little bit and said, it's a boy. About 15 minutes later, the midwives arrived. Oh my word. Oh my word.
Starting point is 00:15:01 Oh my God. Compare that to a four minute wait for a bus. You know when you see those news stories where like someone's had to deliver a baby in a lift that's broken or something? Yeah. And you just go, I haven't got that in me. I just haven't. You're not a coper, are you? I simply couldn't step up to the plate in that situation. I don't think I could either. Anything that's sort of a surgery, gory or involving involving the body the body the body the body the body the body the body the body th. Are the th. You th. You th. You are th. You're their th. You're their. You're not a th. You're not a th. I to. You're not a to. I to. I to. I to. You're not a to. I' to. I' to. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You're not. You're not. I. I. I. I. I. I's not. I's not. I's not. I'. I'm not, the. I'm not, the. I'm not, th. I'm not, th. th. th. the. th. th. the. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to the plate in that situation. I don't think I could either to be my in anything that's like sort of a surgery, gory or involving the body I just can't I can't watch operations when they sort of cut over. I mean obviously you have to I wouldn't just have to go for a walk and go sort of out. If I was stuck in that lift Rob I'd face in a computer game where they just sort of keep walking,
Starting point is 00:15:45 not engaging with the world. Yeah. Just like Rose pushing and you just face in the war. I can't deal with this. I can't deal with this. Oh I'd really strong. I hated the Burfin. Anyway, so he said we've got a little boy. 15 minutes later the midwives arrived. Me and the newly newly named Walter that's a good name for the boy in it Walter Walter Walter Walter WALT ER but born in Walter he was running for Walter what a story brilliant yeah so with the newly named Walter we're still in the pool having some skin to skin the midwives were chatting to Tom about the fact we done and that unassisted home birth they started filing the paperwork and saying how well we done
Starting point is 00:16:25 and how impressed they were with what we managed to deal with. Walter's middle name would be Jack after my brother. By this time I was getting pretty uncomfortable so I clambered out of the pool and modeled over to the sofa, baby and umbilical called still attached, right? They didn't even cut it off at this point. Our the the the elders. Our to to the elders. Our to their to to to their their to their to to to their to their to their, to to their, to their, to their, to their, their, their, to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the.............. We were toda... Wea. Wea. toda. today, today, today, today, thea, theol Our elders woke up from his nap and came down to meet his baby brother.
Starting point is 00:16:45 This still sounds quite like magical this, but it must have been awful. All I keep thinking about is a dirty sofa. She had to put some clothes. What no, but you can't. That ain't, that's not a quick clean, is it that? Big pool of red water like chum in jaws. Sorry. How do you empty the pool? Is he just doing bucket runs to the garden at this point, the dad? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Or is there some kind of water hoover? Like is there some way of getting the water out? Because it's not just water. So you can't like in the garden. Yeah, you've got to try and get the water out. Bucket runs, but then there's going to be stuff in the water. Oh God. I imagine just like bucket runs in a garden and then there's just like all the foxes in about 15 mile radius turn up. The smelly water in the garden.
Starting point is 00:17:34 You've got to do the plants. Might as well do the water and you get it out. I'll be honest, if I'm in charge, it's three days until I get around to it. Do you know what I mean? Imagine that standing in the saugnaught. No telly on. No telly on. Telling still broke up his nap came down to meet his baby brother.
Starting point is 00:18:06 I lifted water up to see him in his squishy newborn glory and realized, Tom, it's a girl. What? Water was in fact Grace. Tom had got it wrong. What? When the baby came out, the dad, look, and he got it wrong. And in Tom's words, I'm sorry, but I the, I've the, I've the, I've the, the, I've the, the, the, I've the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe, I toe, I toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, th... I'm toe, th. He. the, thin, the, the. thean, thean, thean, thooooooom's th the.ean. toooom. toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, the dad looked and he got it wrong. And in Tom's words, I'm sorry, but I've never seen a puffy newborn vagina before.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Oh my word. I thought it was a little pair of balls. Oh my God. That is something else. So they managed to do the whole of the birth, but for the sex identification. He'd never seen a puffy, puffy, um, puppies. It turns positive that he'd not. Yeah, I mean, yeah, if you...
Starting point is 00:18:54 Yeah, that would be a worry, wouldn't it? Yeah, I see what we've got here, no worries. Yeah, so they had little girl called Grace and not called Water anymore. It's a good story, isn't it? It's a good story. What else you got? Gemma in Milton Keynes, I have a story about the weirdest thing that you've been called in school about. When my daughter was in nursery, I went to collector and it'd become a long incident form as she had bitten someone.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Oh, they wouldn't tell me who she had bitten, but after seeing the teeth marks on her arm, I realized she had bitten herself. What? That can't be right. They brought her in for biting. She had an incident form for biting and being bitten, both with her name to her name on. No, that can't be true.
Starting point is 00:19:41 That's incredible. There's policy for a reason, Josh. Yeah, of course. But that's Gemary tape the thaped thaped thaped thaped thaped thaped thaped thaped thaped thaped thatteak thatteak thatteed that's thattea thatty that's thatty that's thatty thatty thatty thatty thue, that's incredible. There's policy for a reason Josh. Yeah, of course. But that's Gemry Milton Keynes. Absolutely red tape nightmare. That is incredible. I read, imagine filling out that fall. Bloody bureaucracy, got mad.
Starting point is 00:19:53 All I wanted to do was look after children. Now I'm doing this. Have you, have you had the biting? Like, I have you, I have, I, have, when, when, when, when, when, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, absolutely. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the.... the. th. th. th. th. tha, tha, that, that, that, that, that, that's. that's. that's. that's. Absolutely. that, absolutely. that she wasn't the biter. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, because they're like we've got something to tell you, you're like, oh, no. She's been bitten. You're like, thank God for that. I don't, um, yeah, no, she's not a, I've been't tell you the biter is, is you can just decide it's the kid you like the least. Do you know what I mean? But you always know, I think you get a feeling. Yeah. Someone's a bite, Louis Suarez, imagine Louis Suarez at nursery. Oh my god. It comes out a big folder of incident films. We've got these are people or things. People or they said people who didn't think were th th th they were th they were they were th they were th th they were th th they were th th th th they were th thin thin thin thin thin thin't thi thi the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their- their- their. I their. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. theateateateateateateat. theateateateateateat. theateateat. theateateat. theateat. theat. the you didn't know were real or fake. We asked for these before after I didn't know that Engelbert Humberdink was real. On the subject to people you didn't think
Starting point is 00:20:48 were real like Engelberg Humberdink, I had the reverse during the 2016 World Cup I thought there was a player for England called Seb Pieces. No. Talk about all about said pieces. This is technically someone I didn't think existed but it's a word. For years I thought gunpoint was a place. So I thought when anything, whenever something involved in someone having a gun held to their head as it was always at gunpoint, maybe it was somewhere in London. Safe sales baffled when a friend broke the news to me. I've got some great things people have won, Josh. Oh yeah. There you go, this is good. Things you've
Starting point is 00:21:30 won as kids. Just listen to the latest podcast. We asked if anyone had won anything as a child. I once won a one-minute round of Woolwuffs in Tagenmouth. What? Tagenmouth? Tagenmouth, Devon? Where? Tagan mouth? T-E-I-G... Tinmouth. Tinmouth. Tynmouth. Tynmouth. Tynmouth. Tynmouth. Okay, sounds good, except you could only have one of each item. So I don't think this person did very well. Tynmouth Woolworths. Yeah, Timidmouth. Yeah, Timmy Mor Warmofs. And a minute, what would you go for? Well, you'd go to the CDs and DVD. I suppose it might have been VHS in those days.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Well, that's exactly where this guy went. Because if you're only allowed one of each item, the pick and mix is a fucking write-off. Well, but also one long snake-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n. But I don't could you have more than one VHS? I imagine it's like one VHS because you go into the VHS section. Oh right, you can go I've got Nick Hancock's football nightmares and I've also got speed. That would count as the same. Yeah. Um, because that's not very good.
Starting point is 00:22:32 Um, so I end up with a VHS of Michael Jacksonthink that's not very good and you must I'd argue that you should have different VHS's. Yeah I think so. I'll just hammer the VHS is how many I could get in a basket in a minute. Yeah. Anyway so he got the VHS Paul Simon cassette and a castle Lego set also. Also. His friend at school was Dick and Dick and Hare's who to talky boys grammar school because it was a big rumor at my school which was you hated the grammar school obviously. Yeah, yeah, fucking wankers. But you had Dick and Hare's one nightmare. He was called Dick and Hairs. It can't have been dick on hairs. So this kid who yeah would have been a talking boy's grandson. What did you win a nightmare?
Starting point is 00:23:27 Just a... I don't know. It's so rare that a kid would win Nightmare. I'm sure I've mentioned this on something before, because someone... Didn't you write it in your book? Yeah, but I've it. It is true. I've just googled Dick on Hairs and it's a lot of weird stuff come back. Yeah, yeah, don't even, don't Google that. Dick and Harris was a dungeoner of Team 6 and Series 4, hailing from Torquay.
Starting point is 00:23:52 He's arguably one of the most memorable names of any nightmare. Too bloody right! He's called Dick and hares! Yeah, so he won nightmare and he went in your neck of the woods. Yeah. I've got another 90s one here you've got a real 90s sort of cult fan base Josh they love getting in touch. Hey guys a story about winning things as a kid might interest Josh seeing as it's 90s tastic so when I was about 12 in the mid 90s I entered a tournament I entered a tournament at the local tennis. I then. I then. I then. I then. I was ttaen. I was ttaen. I was ttaunne. I was ttau. I was ttau. I was ttau. I was ttau. I ttau. I ttau-a. I ttau. I ttaught. I the ttau. I've to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ttau. I ttau. I ttau. I was. I was toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy te. I was te. I've te. I've te. I've te. I've te. I've te. I've tiny. I've tiny. I've toy tb. I've tb. I've a tournament at the local tennis club where I grew up in Seven Oaks Kent. For some totally random reason, first prize was playing a round of tennis. A round of tennis or a game of tennis? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:24:30 With Wolf from Gladiators. Wow. A game of... Yeah that is, that's great. And I actually ended up winning and can now boast of having played tennis against Wolf. Oh wow. It was just just a the the the th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' toy, I thin' toy toy toy tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thinis. A round thin- thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' tha tha. A tha. A tha. A tha. A tha. A tha. A tian. A tha. A tha. A tha. A. A. A. A. A tha. A te. I te. I's te. I's te. I's te. I's te. I's tea. I's tea' tea' tea' tea' tea' tea as the beloved 90s Gladiators. Love the Pod. Anonymous. Did you ever meet a Gladiator Rob? I met a gladiator in adult life. Yeah, I've met Gladiator in adult life. Who did you meet? Jett and Hunter and... What's the other? Was it called like Virgo or something? I don't know. I've met Jett and Hunter, yeah. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's. Yeah. I've toe. I've too. too. too. too. too. th th too th th th th th th th th the. I. I don't know. I've met Jett and Hunter yeah. I've told this on other forums but it is one of my most favorite stories so I'll just quickly tell you this. Yeah. That my friend Ben that Cobra came to their school and he did like an exercise class with them in the morning. Yeah and he lifted up the teacher above his head. Yeah all good one. And then at the end of the class, they all had to write down their name and address, I'd give it to Cobra, and then a few days later they got a letter through
Starting point is 00:25:31 and they'd all been signed up to NatWest Current accounts. No! Isn't that incredible? So I remember signing up to a bank, a HSBC bank account, and I got an hour price vather, and I had an account with no money to put in it. Yeah I've still got the account my first I'm still with my first bank account. That's not okay is it? My parents didn't even know what I was doing. Did you get one of those pigs in the nappy money box that people used to give out? No I just a five hour price voucher and that had all my details and now I've I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I have that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that the that that that had had had had had had had that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the are the they. I that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that had all my details and now I've been at that bank for life. Yeah, I'm still with the same bank. It's grooming, isn't it? Who is changing current account banks? No, my god. On my to-do list.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Yeah, I can't even fix my TV. Imagine going, do you know what? I'm going on in your life if you're changing current accounts. I think I got 50 quid for joining my bank, because I think I was a student, I think I got 50 quid of vouchers or something. You've done me over, I got five quid our price vouchers. Well, me and all my mates from school,
Starting point is 00:26:37 because we signed up to song code is our own one. There should be a big documentary exposing this. It is, but it is like get them when they're young because no one's ever going to bother to change. Yeah. It's like this Robb. Get them listening to this podcast. They're never going to cost to Alista Campbell. We're part of their fucking part of their week. thii. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. thi. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thoomoomoomorrow. thoomorrow. tho. thi. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. tho. thoom. thoom. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. It's. It. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's togeea. It's a to. It's a toge. It's a toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooea. It's a, talking about winning things as kids. My mom once ate our Sony PlayStation. Eight? Yeah, hear us out. Three pastels were doing a competition where if you found a blue one, you won a PlayStation.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Oh no. Oh no. My mum asked to have a PlayStation. Oh my. I'd never forgive my mom. I'd ask, I'd ask, can you divorce your parents? Is your thing, I think like child stars have done it where you could, you can separate yourself from your parents, can't you?
Starting point is 00:27:39 Yeah, I think you can, yeah. Oh my th th th th th th tho tho that's tho that's that's tho that's that's tho that's tho that's tho that's thi that's thi thi thi thi thi thi that's that's that's that's that, I'd that, I'd that, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'd tho, I'd tho, I'd tho, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd tho, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, I'd that, that, that, that, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooo'-a.. tho'a, that is heartbreak. In a way, she's- I'm about to say if you've done that. Let us know, I was like, don't do that right. It's never a good reason. Yeah, Britney Spears get in touch. Send us your funny stories of why you are not in contact with your parents anymore. Oh, that's heartbreaking. And this is a good one. Do you want to hear about a helicopter ride with a bishop? Yeah, why not? I didn't realize it was a 76 on, but why not? You asked about things we won as kids. Well, I won a helicopter ride with the Bishop of Rippon. I won it at high school for design the best. That's the kind of thing Lord Sugar would give the winning team and the apprentice. Yeah! You're going for a helicopter ride with the the the the the the th. I I I I I I I th. I th. I thine it it th. I thine it th. I thine it th. I th. I the the the the the the the. I the' the' the' the' the' the' the' the' the' the' the' the' the. I the the. I was the. I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thin thean thean thean the the the the winning team and the apprentice. Yeah! You're going for a helicopter ride with my friend, the Bishop of Rippon.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Anyway, so he won it for designing the best happy new millennium card. I got picked up at York racecourse, flew to the Bishop's house, landed in his garden, and picked him up, then flew back to the race course where I was presented with some arts materials. Do you know what? Do we need the bishop? Really? Like the first half of the journey is easy. My first question is was there a parent or guardian with you? Because if they're not, it's a very thin long I'm between a trip to a bishop's house and trafficking. If my daughter came to me and said I'm just going to go for a helicopter ride with the Bishop of Rippon. No offense Bishop of Rippon. No offense. On face value, I'm just hearing that as well. Yeah. I wouldn't let my child fly alone to visit a bishop. No, neither would I. No, I definitely
Starting point is 00:29:16 wouldn't. I'm not saying there's anything about that. But I'm just saying, if you said to me, can I jump in that helicopter on to go on on on on to go on to go on to go on to go on to go on the helicopter on to go on to go on the helicopter on to go on to go on the helicopter on to go on to go on to go on to go on to go on to to to to to to to to to to to the helicopter the helicopter on to to to to to to to to to to to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I'm just th. I'm just the helicopter, I'm just the helicopter, I'm just the helicopter, I'm just the helicopter, I the helicopter, I the helicopter, I the helicopter, I the helicopter, I the helicopter, I the helicopter, I the helicopter, I the helicopter, the helicopter, the the helicopter the thi, thi, the, the, thea, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that'd say no. I'd say the optics are bad. It's a weird price. It is in it. Kids aren't into the Bishop of Rippon. Not anymore. It's all changed these days. This was in the 90s so the Bishop of Rippon. I don't know where Rippon is. It's in Yorkshire I think. Yeah, because they were flying from York racecourse as well. That's been a quick flight. Straight up, straight down in the Bishop's Garden. He wouldn't get up, I didn't realize the Bishop of Rippon's had such big carbon footprints. They're getting whizzed from race calls to racecourse. The Bishop of Rippon got a helipad in his garden. Like, how's that working out? Well, I don't know. I think we need to... I need to need to need to... I need to... I need to... I need to... I to... I to... I to... I to... I to... I to... I to... I to... I didn't realize... I didn't realize... I didn't realize... I didn't realize... I didn't realize to... I didn't realize the bish. I didn't realize the bishop. I didn't realize the bishop the bishop the bishop the bishop the bishop the bishop the bishop the bishop the bishop... I the bishop. I didn't the bishop. I didn't the bishop. I didn't the b. I didn't the b. I didn't the b. I didn't the the the the the the the b. I didn't the b. I didn't the b. I didn't the b. I didn't the b. I the bish. I the bish. I didn't the bish. I to the bish. I the bish. I've the bish. I've their their th. I've their th. thi. thi. I didn't thi. I didn't thi. I didn't banks forcing children to join their current
Starting point is 00:30:06 account scheme through Gladiators bench-pressing teachers. Anyway, do you want to hear about a life-size Teddy Cow that was one in Bush Gardens? This is a really, this is a really fertile error, isn't it? Yeah. Okay. I just listened to your podcast we talked about winning things as kids. My parents took us to Florida when I was eight or nine at Bush Gardens Park. Also, when you email in, if you don't know your age, just pick one, you don't have to, we're not going to investigate. This happens a lot. When I was seven, eight, nine or ten, like no one's going to pin you down for details here. My parents took us to Florida when small hoop over a bottle and won a life-size cow. I imagine Teddy, not an actual cow. My dad returned with my siblings to find my mom and my perched on a bench of this massive soft toy and the color drained from his face. He told me there was no way we could get it home as it would need its own seat on the plane. I had a complete meltdown and a prospect of leaving behind my much beloved Moo,
Starting point is 00:31:06 who over two weeks I'd grown really attached to. And now as the youngest, I clearly got my own way. So the cow had to have his own seat in the higher car to the airport as he was too big for the boots. Oh my god. And was lovingly wrapped for the luggage hold. Oh no. He made it home where he was too big for my shared bedroom. What? And spent the rest of his days in the loft. Oh please have a photo of this cow. That would be great. Yeah I'd love to see a picture of that cow. I used to have an eight-foot teddy. Like I bought from Costco, yeah for a laugh. And then I ended up giving it to someone. I think it was I was a a th th th th th th he he he he is was a he was a th is was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. thi. thi. thi. too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to thi. too. thi. thi. too. thi. tod. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today today too too too too too too too I end up giving it to someone. It basically took up too much space, so my mate was,
Starting point is 00:31:45 my, I think it was an electrician. His brother was having a kid and for a wind-up, they just moved to a flat, he took it to give him the present for the baby. I don't know where he is anymore, but yeah. Did I tell you we all got an award for what they were good at? Yeah. So it'd be like best at, you know, history, best at javelin, whatever. I just got a good egg award for being a generally good egg. I think he's almost a bit offensive that, isn't it? It's just like,
Starting point is 00:32:19 I was such a non-event that I was just, I wasn't even best egg. Just one of the eggs. I was just one of the good eggs. I've got a good tired parent story of Tom from Middlesbrough. Yeah. Love the past, got me through home school in my two boys, three and seven, by myself over lockdown as my wife is a key worker. Needless to say, I don't have much hair left now. When my eldest was a baby, he was such a bad sleeper, he used to wake up about four or five times every night. We tried everything, including the controversial crying out method, which was awful and only lasted a few nights, then
Starting point is 00:32:53 we stopped, but nothing would work. My wife was also going through bad postnatal depression, so it was mainly me getting up and sitting with him in the rocking chair most nights. Sometimes when he wouldn the he he he the he the he he the he he he he the he he he the he th he th th th, th, th, th, th, th, to to to th, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say to say, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th. We, we th. We, thi, thin, thin, thr, thr, thr, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try try try. try,'t go down, I'd while away the hours baking in the kitchen until about 1 or 2 a.m. when he would be happily watching me from his higher chair or bouncing chair in the corner of the room. This is horrific. Mostly I just learned to sleep sitting up in a chair. Anyway, I'm just bladed. Was that an aside? Yes. I forgot why he's written in. Anyway, what a big anyway, that. Anyway, after a few moments with about two hours of broken sleep per night, I got up early one morning thinking I was going to be productive and saved myself a few quid at lunchtime.
Starting point is 00:33:38 I made some of my favourite beef and horse radish with lettuce sandwiches and pop them the side in a bag to take to work later. After a few hours it was time to go to work so I changed his nappy. Got him dressed with a day. After a few hours, that's the other thing. After a few hours, most people in the morning get up just at the last minute. Someone here is waking their sandwiches a few hours before they leave the house. A few hours! After a few hours it was time to go to work.
Starting point is 00:34:08 He's made his lunch at 4 a.m. After a few hours, basically, what parent is like, parenting is like, you know, when you have to get, you've got a 7 a.m. flight, and it was the only one you could get, or it was the holiday and you get there and it is lovely and it's beautiful and you should be enjoying yourself but you can't quite do it because you're so you know paralyzingly tired. Yeah. That's parenting. That's how it feels. But every day. Anyway after a few hours it's time to go
Starting point is 00:34:41 to work. I changed his nappy, got him dressed for the day before heading him over to my wife, handing him over to my wife and grabbing my bag of Sani's on the way out. I got to work. I was walking across the car park towards the entrance to the office, feeling pleased, with myself that I could have a relax at work, looking at my sani's, when I was happily swinging along. I looked down and to my surprise I wasn't holding my bag of Sarnies instead to my horror I was holding a nappy bag with a very full shitty nappy in it. We were stood there looking at each other with a knowing look I just shrugged and said oh I must have picked up the wrong bad. I was so tired when it came to lunchtime I just ate
Starting point is 00:35:23 the shit No I did He didn't know No, of course I was so tired I won't even Bobbush went to the sandwich van at lunchtime instead Tom from Middlesbrough Oh man. Send him keep keep going Tom sending lots of love so brutal isn't it? Few out I woke up made some sandwiches a few hours later, I todd it off to work. Right.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Okay, we've got some other ones that want, do you want another one? Yeah. Here go, parent advice, this is from Laura. Okay, I have a six-year-old and a nine-year-old who always compete against each other. The other day in full hangover mode I created them with body cream, and they had to in turns massaging me so I could be the judge. What? I had a full body massage they walked up and down on my back. What is it you making this whole thing up? No this is what's happened? What sorry start again Rob? I have a six year old and nine year old to always compete against each other.
Starting point is 00:36:20 The other day I was in full hangover mode. I created a competition where I provided them with body cream and that to take it in terms massaging me so I could judge. Right, okay, yeah. Do you think this isn't okay? Well, no, no, no. I'll be honest. The first time I heard it, I heard so I could be the judge. I thought it was like a roleplay where they were the judge in a court. No, no, no, no, no, the judge of the massage. Who's the best massauch? Mousse? Yeah, I'm back here now. Anyway, so they were walking up and down on her back and they were, you know, doing her shoulders, banging her back and quite enjoying beating her up, but also massaging.
Starting point is 00:36:54 I actually felt amazing afterwards, she said here, Laura. Now my feedback to them was that they were equal and it was a draw. So now they want another go at it to be the victor. I'm planning a drinking session Friday so I can embrace my hangover massage on Saturday. Live loving life, Laura. That is good, isn't it? Yeah, it is good. Are they going to be happy with another drawer?
Starting point is 00:37:18 The problem is, so it's like, it's a kind of thing where like, that has to be limited limited limited limited limited limited limited limited limited limited limited limited limited limited to be limited to be limited to be limited to be limited to be limited to be limited to be limited, it's a the kind to be a kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind, it's a kind, it's a kind, to be, to be, to be, to be, to, to, it's a kind of, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thr.. the the the the the the the the the the thra.a.a.a. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to has to be limited to your own children on your back. You don't really want a full body massage. You don't want to have a play date where they've got friends over and it's all it's all massage mommy. That's when it starts to veer into the unacceptable. Exactly. If the bishop of ripen was doing that I just think it wouldn't be yes that wouldn't be okay just so just a helicopter fly just that's it. No massage in the bishop today. Just the usual normal helicopter fly. Just a normal helicopter. You can't even talk to him. It's too loud.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Is he his full garb? Are you looking forward to the millennium? Have you found the light? Do you love Jesus? Yes? I'm designed to teetow for the millennium. Got the dome on it. Right, should you do some small business shout-outs? Yeah, if you've got a picture of yourself in the helicopter the Bishop and Rip and we will, we will take it. That'd be absolutely great. Big up the bish. Big up the bish. Big up the bishop? Yeah. Okay, right. there th. th, th. th. th. th. th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. the the the the th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. the the the the th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th the th the the th. the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. Rippon we will we will take it. That'd be absolutely great. Big up the Bishop as well. Big up the Bish. Big up the Bishop. Okay right here we go. Small business shouts, what we got? What you got Josh? Anything you want to do? Yeah why not? My fiance and I absolutely love your podcast.
Starting point is 00:38:35 We run a shoe cleaning and restoration business. My shoes are fucked. My shoes are fucked. My the shoe. th. th. th. th. th. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the shop. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the business. the show. the show. the show. the show. the show. the show. We. the show. the the the th. I. I. We. together. I. together. We'll. I. We'll. I. We'll. I. I. I. We'll. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the mom always tells you about that. The shoe restoration company based in Hartlepool. You can view all work on our Facebook and Instagram pages at the underscore shoe underscore restoration underscore company. Thank you for many laughs and long live the podcast. Best regards Hayden McCloud in brackets the shoe restoration company close brackets. Oh that's quite satisfying that they have pictures of the dirty ones that show them all clean or what they could have done is took took took took took took took took took took took the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the they have pictures of the dirty ones that show them all clean or what they could have done is took a photo when they bought them. Oh Rob come on now. I'm not joking no I'm not I'm not implying that wow there's no that is mental I didn't know you can do that with trainers that is incredible because I've got trainers that I like but have been discontinued. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:39:25 So how do they make that I get that they can make them cleaner? But how do they you know like with like Air Force ones or like trainers it goes a bit creasy at the front? Yeah because where your toes been in them that's amazing that is great that is fair enough fair enough? Fair enough. Oh wow are we being are we being influenced. That? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that that that? that? that? that that is that is that is good? That is good? That is good? that is good? That is good? That is that is that is? That is? That is? That is? That is? That is? That is? That is? That is? That is? That is good? That is? That is? That is? That is? That is? That is? That is? that is? that is? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? th? th? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they? they? they? they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. Oh wow. Have we been influenced by ourselves? How do this? Anyway, well good luck with that company. I've got one here. Yeah. This is just wanted to send a small business shout out for my sister who introduced me
Starting point is 00:39:55 to the podcast. She started up a children's brand called Robin and Roo in lockdown 2021 around her one and three- old daughters. Her main product is a reversible double bib that customers can customize themselves choosing their own fabrics from her website. It's like two bibies in one. So when one side gets wet or dirty you can flap it inside out to contain everything inside, not just turn it around like a normal bib. I use them now on my TV and they're absolutely the best bibs ever. She makes everything herself and all the materials are ethically sourced from from. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, the their, their, their, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. the. te. te. te.2. te.2. te.2. te. te. te. tha-2. tha. tha. they're absolutely the best bibs ever. She makes everything herself and all the materials are ethically sourced from you. This is good.
Starting point is 00:40:27 She also makes matching scrunchies with the fabric off cuts to ensure that the business is a zero waste as possible. Great for mummy and roo.com. Great for mummy and roo.com. If you need a-WRbb.Robbin and Roo dot com. If you need a bib. That is genuinely a great idea. I've been dribbling quite a lot in bed. Should I get one for bedtime? Yeah, what about the bibb restoration company?
Starting point is 00:40:52 Do you reckon you can get your bibbyshack back to the box fresh? And they look like cool business shout-outs or you back on Friday? I've enjoyed doing this Rob we don't do enough correspondence I've enjoyed it. I've enjoyed it too and it's good to hear from everyone as well thanks and sometimes you don't put your names so we can give you a shout-out it's nice to give your shout-out it's nice to give your shout-out. Cool. to to to to to to their-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in. the the the the-in. the the the-I-I th. th th th th th th th th th. th. th th th th th th th th their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I I I I I th th th. I th th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the. I the the to to the to the to to the to to the throoooo the the thro the thr thr thr the the the the

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