Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP12: Poodles and Noodles

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... available exclusively (for free!) only on Spotify every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs...... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.
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Starting point is 00:01:18 When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great great the to to to to use to to use to to to to to use to to the to be a to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both, because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time tasks like Miller Time. Learn more at Miller Light.C.A. Must be Legal Draking Age. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with Davis. Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And Josh Widdickum. Good boy.
Starting point is 00:01:52 There we go. Good boy. Davis. Davis? Do you know what I love about having the cameras on? How low rent they can see this is. I know, yeah, I mean we should probably just put that out. I'm just holding my phone in front of a mic. This is how. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thek. to thi. thikekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekeke. I th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I to to th. I to th. I to to to th. I to to th. to th. to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the. the. th is. I know yeah I mean we should probably just put that out. I'm just holding my phone in front of a mic. This is how I got given for free nine
Starting point is 00:02:09 years ago. Have you got the cameras on so you can see them Rob? No no I'm hiding us. I've minimised it now but I could see that and I could just see a man in a hoodie in front of what looks like a boot sale holding a phone. What do you mean what looks like a boot sale? What the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th is th is they they they they they they they th is th is they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th tho the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th me. I'm talking about... Oh you, sorry, I thought you meant me! Talking about me, you don't look like a boot sale. Yours looks like a dead granddad that holds slightly. It's given us a new dimension I can slag off your room. Rob, can I make an observation, have you? Yeah, yeah. There's too much on that clothesrail and it's really feeling it's really struggling
Starting point is 00:02:46 It's really struggling. Yeah, my life's a best That clothes rail is like a fucking cartoon I know it's horrible. Don't do that. It's fine. I'm sorry. It's solid as a rock also. this is your office Rob. I'd Lou throwing you out. I know. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's. It's. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Itthat! It's fine mate, it's solid as a rock! Also, this is your office, Rob. Ad Lou thrown you out. I know, it's horrible. No, it's because I'm in-between moving, aren't we? And we have been for ages because of planning permission. Let's not get into details and all this. Oh, the planners! That 50-foot gold statue of to the area. Guys, look, do you want this to be a tourist destination or not?
Starting point is 00:03:26 People travel here to see the bronze statue I'd commissioned of myself with a miniature version of Romeshton next to me. You seem tired, Rob. I am tired. Oh, let's talk about who that was. This is my three-year-old son, Davis, born just before lockdown. Davis? Davis? After Steve Davis? Is it? Yeah. No one knows who Steve Davis is anymore Josh. Come on they do. He's a legend but in reality young people don't know Davis. If you top him six world titles Rob. Yes I know 40 years ago.
Starting point is 00:04:00 It wasn't 40 years ago. It was. It was almost 40 years ago. When did he win his titles? The 80s. Yeah so 40 years th. Yes. th. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thi. the the. the. the thi. the the. the. the. th. th. was. It was almost 40 years ago. When did he win his titles? The 80s. Yeah, so 40 years ago. Oh my God. Oh my God. How? Oh my God. How I'm 40 this year? How? tho. I'm 40 this year. Anyway, it's not the time to think about Steve Davis's world title. I think. that's 40 years ago. Well actually Joe Davis. Yeah, because Joe Davis comes the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. It's. It's. th. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Davis. But he won them for like 70 years ago, didn't they? Yeah, but some people would be going, yeah, but I was only 70 years ago. Everyone must have old Joe Davis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. The point is. Steve Davis. He's a website.
Starting point is 00:04:34 Does he need it? He's a website. Does he's a the j-a? He's a really funny bloke, yeah. that, th. th. th. th............... th.. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to.................................................................................................................................. does now? He's a DJ. He's a DJ. He's a really funny bloke actually. Yeah, he's a lovely guy. Yep, actually more than 40 years ago. 81 was his first one. Oh, alright, yeah, yeah. You turned around. Suddenly you know more about Steve Davis than I fucking do. Oh, I know loads. No I know who Steve Davis is. Suddenly he's giving me the years of his world titles. He's. He's. He's he's he's he's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's a he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's the the the the th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he th. He's got a lot of nicknames. Do you want to know his nicknames? The Nugget, that's one of them. That's one. Interesting. Oh, interesting, yeah. Ginger magician.
Starting point is 00:05:08 That's not. No one's ever called him the ginger magician. Ronford Robot. Oh yeah, yeah. Ronford Slim and Golden Nugget. I once got stuck in a, this is a weird thing to bring up. Ah, come on. I once broke down in a classic car while I was driving Steve Davis down a country lane. What was that for? How have I not brought that up yet?
Starting point is 00:05:34 That's actually the fifth thing you've gotten Steve Davis. I can't, because I'd repressed the memory. That happened. He was brought in Plumstid. He used to go out of my auntie. All right, mate, it's not an anadone top trumps. I was filming at Barry Hearnsha-Hurne's today's anecdote war. Go on, sorry, you're driving with him. I was filming at Barry Hearns House. Right. Right. Maskells, the matrim offices. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. It was when I used to host Fighting Talk for Five Live and they were doing some kind of snooker promotion thing where it was me doing a fighting talk with Steve Davis and Barry Herd. Okay, right. And two other people people from the time, I can't remember. Oh, brutal. I'll find out, I'm so. the, I'll, I'll. the. the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. ta. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. forgot about. This is a good thing about the internet. We can find out who you don't care about.
Starting point is 00:06:25 And maybe they weren't from the time and that's why it's difficult for me to remember them. Well, no, no, no, no, we'll find out. If I try to to find out Barry Hahn, we should be able thing go on. So they wanted because it was filmed I was going to turn up Hazel Irvine. Oh it was Richard Osmond. Yes Richard Oh no no don't don't go and get it now. You didn't care about Richard Osmond. Yeah. Because we had to turn up in a classic car and it was just too small for his legs. It was too big. Yeah. Anyway they wanted me to turn up with Steve Davis. He was a too small. to too. too. too small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small small. too small. too small. too small. too small. too small. too small. too small. too small. too small. too small. too. too. too. too. too. to to too too too too. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. to. to. Oh. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. to. to. to. to. th.they wanted me to turn up with Steve Davis. I thought that was a good list of actually. That's some good people on there. Steve Davis is good. Barry, it's good list. It's fine, tool goes snook a loopy.
Starting point is 00:07:09 There we go. 2016, 15 minutes. That was? 15 minutes. Yeah. What a lot of effort. I don'tld you what happened at the start. It's like a film we've tried to start.
Starting point is 00:07:29 We know where we're going. It's like inception. We jumped back and forward. So basically you got stuck down a country like Steve Davis. Well they wanted us to turn up in a car from like the early 80s when Snook was in its pomp. Me and Steve Davis, go and drive down there, turn around, come back. I broke down.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Steve Davis had to give me a push start. And is that literally or figuratively? You are? Did you? Did you just emotionally, no, I didn't break down. I broke down and said, what the fuck is going on in my career? This is a most true. I'm I've the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I'm th. I'm thock. I'm th. I'm thoed. I'm that. I'm that. I've that. I've broke down. I've broke down. I've that. I broke down. I've broke down. I broke down. I broke down. I broke. I broke. I've that. I've that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm thrived. I'm's 15 minutes I'm still the legwork but no the car broke down so let's go back to Steve Davis no Davis the child yeah yeah I've got his
Starting point is 00:08:13 phone number by the way give him a bell I'm not gonna give him a bell I've never got in touch I bet he's a landline it's not a landline he's he's got mobile we should get him on this he'd be great has he got the Oh, let me find out. I'm sure he has. If the people at home are still wondering Steve David this, because I think this is the most complete walk for his career that's ever been. I'm even quite into what my aunt he thought of him. Okay. Still Davis, Greg Davis. Okay. Greg Davis. to come to this. Oh. Well, Greg Davis. this. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. People. I th. th. th. th. People. People th. th. People th. th. the. the. People the. theat theat theat theat the. theat the. theat thi. the. the. the. th dad does he Greg Davis anyway? Big lad. Big lad. Wouldn't have got in that um car I'd tell you that for free. No different Greg Davis obviously spelled so Davis to child. How are you spelling Davis to child? Like Steve Davis? Wait, what did your aunt think of going out with Steve Davis? I don't thi told their to their too? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. thi. thi. th. to be w. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Big, th. Big, th. Big, th. Big, th. Big, th. Big, th. Big, th. Big, th. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. th th the. the. the. the. the. the the the their, their, their, they. their, they. they. they. Big, th. Big, th. Big, th. Big, th. Big, they were at school together because they all grew up in Plumsted, but I think it might have been they just were in class together, but
Starting point is 00:09:08 it always bleeds into like, oh yeah, we went out together. She used ginger as well, so maybe there was a connection. Back in the day, it was a lot more safer world to be ginger these days. Yes, exactly. Wouldn't you? I'd say the world's moved on. Yeah. Am I still reading this email? Yeah, Rob and Josh. Are they Welsh?
Starting point is 00:09:30 They are from Hertfordshire. It's very common. Oh no, no, it's not really a... So Davis as a given first name, the name Davis, throwne........... to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, they. they. they. they. they. they. to, they. to, to, they. to, the, to, to, they. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they....... Yeah, to, they. Yeah, to, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. to. to. is my three-year-old son Davis who was born just before lockdown. Your podcast has got me through the long nights and a surprise pregnancy during the second lockdown. Absolute legends. Please wish me luck as I'm taking my three-year-old and 19-month old boys to... Disney World. Oh! Exciting! Exciting! Love it. Listen to Rob's experience over and over again. Imagine listening to that over and over again, getting myself into preparation and the right mindset.
Starting point is 00:10:11 But Josh, you know how difficult is with a 19-month-old who's into everything they shouldn't be. Wish me luck, Ashley. Good luck Ashley. Good luck Ashley, good luck Davish. Also, you remember Wolfgang from a previous episode? Yeah. Because if they're German, then Wolfgang's a normal name in Germany. Some Germans have been in toucest, no. It's like calling a child Kenneth, apparently. Right, okay.
Starting point is 00:10:32 It's quite an older name, Wolfgang. Quite an old name. Well, I'd love to hear. This is a correspondent special because... We don't get through enough. Now, you're tired. Yeah, I can't do mornings, mate. I couldn't do them in lockdown when I never worked in the evenings, but lose bit away, and I get up at half six in the morning.
Starting point is 00:10:56 And it's just mewondo, if it's after school club, they need snacks, they need everything all packed up. What time have you got to get them out of the house? How long have you got? Well, you're allowed to drop them in between 8 a.m. and 8 a.20 a. Oh, that's an early start, right. That is an early, sometimes I leave the ass early, and just sit in the car, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and just, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the...... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to 8 but then just waiting the car for a bit. Just I feel safer when they're all strapped in the car. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. But because it's a constant like dad, dad, dad, dad, like, and it's just me. I think I use up all of my ability to think by 830 a.m. Yes. Yes. So the rest of the day I'm sort of a vacant vessel. the thii and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the their. their. their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. the the the th. I's. th. th. the th. the the th. the the the. the. I's. the. I's. Yeah. I's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. the the the the burned out before they... Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, so I'm not very good at mornings. Well, I'd say anyone who saw your deep diving
Starting point is 00:11:49 Steve Davis would say that you're not a vacant vessel, Rob. There's more depth there that you've just plunged. Maybe I just need to be tickled in the right way. Exactly. So should we get on with some correspondence? try and push you through. No, we'll be alright. I'll be alright. I'm just, it's just, I can't think Josh. Okay, Lee Chapman's been in toucest. I don't know if it's that one. The former footballer. That one's Lee Sharp. No, Lead Chapman, you used to play for Lea lead's. Oh yeah, even that was Leslie Ash in? Men behaving badly. She's great in men behaving badly. Right, okay, she starts talking about children and parenting because this is getting absolutely out of that.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Yes, okay. Lee Chapman, Leslie Ash. I've got no idea for Leslie Ash. I've got no idea if Leslie Ash. Yes, yes, two children. Yes, two children with it mate. Yeah. Anyway, why do you want Leslie Ash? Lee Chapman is emailed in. Okay, sorry, so it's not my fault is it? Yeah, that's not my fault is it? Anyway, hello, I just listened to today's episode, sad dad's disco and thought what about glum mum's and sad dad disco? So both
Starting point is 00:12:55 mum mumms and sad dad's disco, yeah. Glum mums and sad dad's disco. That's quite fun, isn't it? But we're not going to do that club night. We're not going to do a club. Beforehand. We can play the music in. The music when people walk in for the live show, I'm happy to DJ that has the third dad's disco, not on stage. Yeah, but then you're not re-DJing then, you're just putting on a Spotify playlist. Yeah, but we could sound the O2. And meanwhile, I'm trying to play fucking into the groove. So you thought about what you'd play? Well, I've got things at my fingertips that I know I play if I'm in a situation where I'm on the dance floor to fill. So what your first three songs?
Starting point is 00:13:38 My first three songs? Yeah. . ... the first, your your your your your your your your your the first the first the first th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. So, thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom... thoom.... So, tho. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thum Mum Sad Dad's kind of song is it? Everyone would be singing along Rob. So is it's glum mum's and sad dad disco? Is it that we're going to play sad music and embrace it or is it to get them out of the funk? No, no no no no no no it's. It's just bangers after bangers. Yeah. Because I've not been dancing for ages to a ages ages ages ages ages ages ages ages ages ages ages ages ages ages ages the ages the ages to the ages th ages th ages th ages th ages th ages th ages th ages th a th a th th th th th th th th th thin th thin that that that that that that that that thin that I that I that I that I've that I that I've that I've that I've that I that I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tha tha tha tha tha tha tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' that's that to a nightclub? No, I'm not going to a nightclub, Rob. I'm 39. I hate dancing. Rob, you can't go to a nightclub if you remember Steve Davis winning the World Championship.
Starting point is 00:14:10 That's what they ask at the door. The bouncers go, ID for you and who's Steve Davis, you're too old. And if you haven't got ID you're too old. Back to school signals a fresh start for students. New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The forward government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the support they need.
Starting point is 00:14:41 They can't wait another year. If the forward government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at Building Better Schools. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Right, hi, Rob and Josh, listening to episode 6, episode 2, which I don't know what that means. We've got no idea what that means. Joshua was saying about his guest over Christmas, Ivo Graham that was, who had a parcel delivered to his address, which reminded me of when my next door,
Starting point is 00:15:16 when they were on holiday, the delivery guy knocked to my door so I took the parcel was a good neighbor. Yeah, fine. Only later that day I noticed it was addressed to the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person the person next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next was addressed to the person next door but my house number. Oh yes please. The cheeky so and so had changed the house number on purpose knowing they would be away. Oh I now refuse to take in any parcels for them. Oh when they're not home even when they are addressed to their house. Oh they've got nuclear. I'd say that's a bit petty, wouldn't you? Well, it is annoying. It is annoying, but I don't think that's good for you to have that inside. I would do anything not to fall out with a neighbor because it's the one person you're absolutely
Starting point is 00:15:51 stuck with. Well, exactly, Josh. Listen to this, Confucius once said, before. Isn't it? Because holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Yes. Yes. That's great Rob. That is really. That was Braini quotes.com. That was it? Sorry you on Brainy quotes.com it's my little quote. That was it? Sorry. Are you on brainy quotes dot comcom is quoted in Prince Harry's autobiography. Is it? Okay, good to know, Brainy Quotes.com. Is that where he gets some of his quotes from BrainyQuotes.com? There's a point when he talks about a quote that you got from Brainy Quotes.
Starting point is 00:16:34 told I why I'm... I don't tell anyone there! Just say Confucius or Buddha, not. to say, that's confused or thi. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to good good good good good good good. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. it. Also, yeah, makes it much more difficult to sell your house if you've got troublesome neighbors. Right, okay, yeah, no, no, don't fall out, you know, just go away, I was a bit cheeky. Also, I'd respect that, to be fair. You'd respect it, yeah. I'd go, do you know what they've they've done they've done they've done they've done they've done they've done they've done they've done they've done they've done they've done they've done their they've done their their th done th done th done th done tho, I've done tho, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the their their their to to to to to to to th to th th to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo to. I want you to give me a percentage breakdown of the parcels that say Louise Beckett and the parcels that say Rob Beckett. Oh, I'd say 98.3 percent. Yeah, it's... It's obscene. I'm so excited when I get a parcel. I'm just thinking of starting to just order myself stuff just because it feels like Christmas when the
Starting point is 00:17:21 parcels. their parcels his wife has delivered and he says, best way out of this scenario is she's fucking him. The delivery guy because I'd rather that than she's actually buying all this stuff. Oh God so many parcels. Funny man Billbert. Watch that special. I've butchered that bit but it's funny. Right now this little glue. Oh God. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's funny. It's. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It'sered that bit, but it's funny. Right, now this little, oh God, Josh, Freudian. Oh my word, that is a moment, isn't it? Ugh, ugh. It's three years in, I'm pleased with that. Josh, you know Dan Shribbles on talking about children's past life stories?
Starting point is 00:17:56 Oh, hook me up. So you love these, but I think it's all absolute bullshit. thap. thah. thah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. thi. that's. that. that's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. that's, it's. that's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a th. It's a th. It's th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's not bullshit Rob, but I'm saying it's exciting. Right, well let me read this one out to you, then we'll break it down yeah. Yeah. Hi there. A listener from the very start and I had to email in after hearing Dan Shreiber discussed his child remembering their previous life. We have two boys and our eldest would often refer to his previous life. to predict the future and read. their their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. I. Yeah. I. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.. Oh... Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh............................................................................................................................. So. So. So. So. So. So, the. So. So. So. the. So. the. So. So. the. So. the. So. So. the. the. the. the. the. the. this. Regarding his previous life, when he was just two years old, he would say things like, I do like you, but I still love my last mummy and daddy more. He would say that in his last life, he was a woman and in great detail would tell us about his wedding dress, and in particular the lacy long sleeves. But yeah, anyone could say that you can make that up. Okay, well one day, Josh, a group of old cars drove past and he said to us,
Starting point is 00:18:46 Oh yeah, it was a Mr. Davis? And my son's on, who's that massive float watching? That's his son Greg and Richard Osmond. Anyway, the old cars drove past and he said to us, I used to have a car like that when I was a woman. We looked at him puzzled and said, really, he it had a wind-up stick sticking out of the front and you had to wind it up to start the engine he had never in his life seen a car where this is what you had to do. Oh whoa whoa whoa yeah I'd say it's him. He might have though you don't know what they're seeing on the telly. Yeah he didn't broom have a little wind up front. I was about to say Brum I think. Yeah it's Brum. It's all explained by Brum. Right okay well anyway let me with a ghost
Starting point is 00:19:27 detectives here because there's more still going. Okay so I could say we could maybe file that under Brum yeah we're filing that under Broom. But if he's never seen brum that is suspicious. Yeahto nursery, he piped up with, we can't go in your car, mummy. The tire has leaked. What? We said the car is fine and continued to get him ready. As we left the house and walked to the car, there it was, a completely flat tire. Ah. Hmm. Maybe he looks out the window? Maybe. I don't want to poop her at the window. I don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. tho. tho. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tiea. tiea. tiea. tiea. tiea. tiea. tiea. tiea. tiea. tie Yes, but I'd assume that my child had just looked out the window, maybe. Okay, we'll put that down to window. Prum, window. Anyway, on another occasion, it was getting ready, he said, we need to leave early because
Starting point is 00:20:13 of the tree. We asked him what he meant, and he said, a t On our way, sure enough, a diversion was in place and we did need to go the long way round. Once we had gone the other way, as we were approaching the nursery, up ahead, a massive tree had fallen over in the storm overnight. Oh, that is scary. And it was blocking the road. Oh, there was a storm. There was a storm. Maybe the radio said trees are falling down, be a tree. tree. tree. Tr. tree. tree. Tr. the trees. the trees. the trees. the trees. the trees. Tree. Trees. the the the the tree. the the tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. The their. The other. The other. The their. The their. The their. The their. The their. The their. The the their. The the the the tree. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the right I mean I would say that's probably the best one so far but yeah they don't be spooking me out at this point yeah personally I'm filing it all under complete and utter bollocks and now I'm completely on board okay fair enough our son is now nine and thankfully no longer talks about his previous life and no longer predicts his future however the other day we sat down my wife turned over the sand
Starting point is 00:21:05 time to start the time before the pencil could touch the paper. My son shouted, Firework, which is exactly what I was about to draw. Oh, reflection glasses. So he's picturing you get told what you have to draw. It's on the card. My seven-year-old does that and cheat. So Matt, the podcast, I think your son's a liar and a cheat. Now, I think your son is living a previous life and also can predict the future. The only one I'm given you is fallen true.
Starting point is 00:21:35 And I think if I'm Matt, I'd rather Rob's answer than mine, because I'd find that less creepy. You'd rather your son to be a liar and a cheat? Yeah, than be living the previous life of a woman who had a wind-up car and a lacy wedding dress. A wedding dress does sound lovely. It does, it sounds very high-end. But would you have a high-end dress like that, but also wind up your car? Well that's the question, isn't it? Well, that's'm not tired. Maybe you're not. Maybe the coffee's working as way through. I've not had a coffee for ages. Right, I've got another bit of correspondence.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Okay, go on. Hi guys, I've got another podcast. I finally caught up on the back catalog. After my child's brother introduced me to it a coupleold sons football presentation evening. I know he'll be gutted if I'm not there but I really want to see you guys on tour and I can't afford to travel to another location. Do you think it will permanently scar my child if I'm not there for him even if it will is seen you guys an acceptable. Keep in sex in the first question. No, do not come. Go to the awards. It's more important. I don't know, I don't know. Those awards are ten of pennies. You love a ticket sale, mate. I would think less of you if you came and didn't go to your son's presentation evening. And I think more of you.
Starting point is 00:22:55 So you choose your team. What I would say is Manchester's basically sold out anyway. the only places really with their their. Manchester. Manchester. Manchester. Manchester. Manchester. Manchester. Manchester. Manchester. Manchester. Manchester. Manchester. to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. You. You. their. I their. I their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. those. those. those. those. I and Wembley Arena. Nottingham and Wembley Arena. Travel to one of them. You could go to Nottingham, Steph? Come on. Big old night out in Nots. Have a night out in Nots! Right, we've got a lot of people saying kids saying funny things and a few boomers stories.
Starting point is 00:23:17 What do you want some kids saying? Oh, total three, okay. Oh yeah, hi guys. On the subject of kids mispronouncing words in the latest episode, my four-year-old boy is currently saying, instead of camouflage, Kenneth large. Kenneth large. Kenneth large. Kenneth large. That's good. I like no one, don't you? Yeah. Just listen to your bumhole bits and willy episode. My three-year-old son once told me he had poodles and noodles at nursery while sitting on the carpet. What? Can you guess what it is? No.
Starting point is 00:23:51 He was sat on the carpet, cross legs and the teaugs and noodles. Oh, pins and needles? Yeah, pins and needles. Yeah, pins and needles. That's good. Initially I thought he was a th carpet. Yeah, no, no, I'm about poodle or noodle, dear. No, he's pins and needles, poodles and noodles. They really cracked me up. Now this one, hey, I'm Josh, my youngest couldn't say L in the middle of a word.
Starting point is 00:24:11 It would either be replaced with a W or missed out completely. So clock was cock. You can see where this is going. room but she complained that it ticked too loudly so I put it in my room my boy aged 30 time came in and asked why have you got a pink cock in your room lovely lovely bit of business these are strong emails had to have a preventative chat with his teacher on the morning drop off in case he mentioned the pink cock in my room I'd say leave it and then wait for them to ask I'd say if you're doing a friendshipentative chat it feels like you're protesting too much. Yeah, I'm just to let you know. Hi, yes, oh sorry, quick, sorry everyone, one second, just need to quickly took to the head
Starting point is 00:24:48 teacher, look, sorry to hold up the cue. He'll say that I've got a pink cock in my room. And I haven't. It's a pink cock in your room. Just say no. Yeah, he's found your dildo, just move on. Yeah, just there you go. Just put it in a draw higher up, lock it away. How about if I email that popular podcast the story? And they start talking about it.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Maybe that will in a higher box. We've all got wants and needs. Okay, so the pink cock kid also can't say flip-flops and he says whip-flop instead of flip-flop. Yeah, nice. That's cute. But now they're gutted he can say it properly. I did tell you about Netflix, I think. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I that-I th. I that-I've that-I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've. Yeah. I've. I've. Yeah. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. Yeah. I've. Ithink so, yeah Netflix, you have to talk about that. Now my favorite, because you know, we still call McDonald's Chip and Burger. Oh yeah, yeah. I call it Chip and Burger, but we just do it as a family now. They know it's called McDonald's, but I said, right, you want to get Chip and Burger. And then they had That's the worst moment, isn't it? That's when it all comes crumbling down.
Starting point is 00:26:05 Now, this is the same kid though, Fwipfwops, pink cock. However, my favorite all time was another friend's boy who couldn't say biscuits, he used to call them bitch tits. Yeah, I'd buy that sort of Karen. It is unfair isn't it on people called Karen. Yeah I think there's no smoke about fire mate. Right, right. Have you got any more Robb? I've got one here Josh this is about things you've dragged your parents to. So hi Rob and Josh. I don't have kids because I'm 25 and can't even look after myself but I'm a huge fan of the pod and your books and delight in hearing your antics. Are we up to antics? Antics. I think we are up to antics. Yeah I think we are. Just before we start recording you said oh for
Starting point is 00:26:58 fuck a sec I forgot to give my kid a snack for school and I don't know if I'd call that antics. What do you call that antics? Oh, crazy antics. No, no, I'd say antics is if I came in and went, you're not gonna believe this, I put itching powder in roses pants. Please do. Oh, we turn into them like tick-to-top couples that just do pranks on each other. Yeah, that looks awful. Because it's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they's they's they's they's they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tick. tip. tip. tip. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. t thi. t t t t togea. I's, toge. I's toge. toge. t toge. t tha do for a bit of fun and then it's turned into a business and now
Starting point is 00:27:26 They're like covering each other in flower every other day to keep up with the tick-top trid Yeah, I couldn't live with a prankster I loved jackass. I loved it. I thought it was brilliant, but. At any point, I just couldn't live like that. I just couldn't do it. I've ever told you about Joe Swash when he did Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Panto in Stoke. No, but it's a very promising start to an anecdote. Well, the actors that were playing the dwarfs, they were pranksters. They were pranksters. They were pranks. They were prankers, they were prankers, they were prankers, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thes, thes, thes, thanks, thi, thi, thi, thrank, thrank, thrank, thrank, thranked, thrashers, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, thu, thu, thu, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, the thi, the thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thiiiiii. thiiii. thi. thi thi. thi. thi. When, thash all the time. And they put itching powder in his outfit when he went on his buttons.
Starting point is 00:28:06 And he was itching and itching, obviously. Anyway, so they had a bit without to go out of the building to run around the building to come on the other side, like as part of the show. And when he did that, Joe, which is, I don't think you'd like that. I couldn't be on that cast. I'd find it too stressful. The thought that I could have itching powder in my pants at any point. I think you'd be a great dopey. Anyway, sorry, this is this antics one. I dragged my long-suffering dad to so many things as a teenager, but the weirdest was probably a festival for ginger people.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Oh, oh? Before you ask, we are both ginger. It was basically a room full of redheads trying to pretend we had stuff in common. Oh my word, that's weird, isn't it? There's a couple of stalls selling ginger beer. I don't know what I was thinking, overall very surreal experience. Oh my God. That's bizarre. It is weird in it? Oh man, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, oh, oh, oh, th, oh, th, th, th, oh, th, oh, oh, oh, th, th, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, oh, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Before, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho' tho' tho' tho' tho'' tho'' tho'' tho'' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho bizarre. Jebber and Beckin' them. Oh, that is weird, in it. Oh, man, yeah. How old was she? I was about to say the most stiff-neck boring thing that's ever existed wrong. It's not stopped you before. Get it out of you. Go on. There's a Sherlock Holmes story called the red-headed league that's a threat. it's the term used. I think obviously this was an odd. Charlotte Holmes has written 150 years ago so that it was pretty. I think red-headed's fine isn't it? The under for he's probably said things like they shouldn't say now. Oh yeah
Starting point is 00:29:36 there's some not ideal views. Hi Rob and Josh, I love listening to podcasts since becoming a mom to twins. My dad was forced to take me and a friend to see Britney Spears in concert and then the spy skills a few years later. I don't think that's going to be the end of the world. I think I could deal with that. On the Britney tour, she performed performed, the alternative, the alternative, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, thoomoomo, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, told, told, told, told, told, told, to to told, to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, tho, the tho. tho. thoo. thoo. thooooooo. thooooooo. too, too. too. So, too. So, too More Time and he still moans to this day 20 years on that she didn't sing it right Oh Yeah, I would you know what I think he's right. It's like when people gonna see Bob Dylan he doesn't do the song's in the right way I think you've got to do them what they want get the snake out you've got to do it. Get the snake out. You've got to do it. Get the snake. You've the the the the the the the the snake. Get the snake. Get the snake. Get the snake. the snake. She sounds like Coronation Street character. Yeah, she does, don't she?
Starting point is 00:30:26 Right, we've got enough one here. Here we go. Hi, Josh and Rob. In a discussion you had about teaching your daughter's the word vagina and vagina's the the thinneus, and penis, I finally had to write in. Yeah, that was a the vagina's the internal bit. So it's actually the Volvo, but I think that anyway, you know, right? I had loads of people just messaging me, Volvo. Right, okay.
Starting point is 00:30:51 And you're like, I've got a BMW thank you very much. I'm all right. Might be changing it up though, soon, might go Volvo, very safe, aren't they? What's the inside of a Volvo called a vulgina?. V V V V V, a vulg, a vulg, the v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I thi, th. I th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I thii. I's all right. I think it's good. I think it's fine. The outside of the vagina is a Volvo and the car's a Volvo. What's the interior of a Volvo called a Vogina? Put it in the Christmas crackers this. See how that goes down?
Starting point is 00:31:15 Okay, who's on for you Nan? You know that the vul Anyway, me and my husband both advocate calling them what they are. However, we never already told our two-year-old daughter the word penis, she never asked. It's quite cute, my daughter keeps saying peanuts. She misheard me and thinks the penis is called a penis. It is quite cute until I think about your penis. What's wrong on my penis? It's just I don't want an image of it in my head. Well stop thinking about it. It's difficult because when you say stop thinking about it I just keep thinking about it. Anyway so that when they never asked she never
Starting point is 00:31:49 knew the word penis. She took it upon herself to name it daddy's pony tale. Oh no. We regretted her but she was having to to tell you. theynestyle. No it's it's daddy. th. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tode. t. tode. they's never. they's never never never. they. their. She's. She's. She's. it funny but tried to make not a big deal of it as we didn't want it to stick and have people think that what my husband referred to his penis was his ponytail. She never really said it again but my husband takes her swimming most weeks and now she started a running commentary of the men in the change room loudly saying, Daddy that man's taken his clothes off. Thanks for the pod, it's really great to hear you and many others imagine the same boat. Charlotte Wolverhampton. I think you've just got, I don't think the ponytails the issue. I think you don't want your child commentating on the naked men as it is. I do think men in change rooms, one, when there's children there just to get a fucking towel in front of it. Just be as embarrassed as embarrassed as embarrassed as embarrassed as embarrassed as embarrassed as embarrassed as embarrassed as embarrassed as embarrassed as embarrassed as embarrassed as their as their. Just be as embarrassed. Just be as embarrassed. Just be as embarrassed. Just be as embarrassed. Just be as embarrassed.there once as a man in flip-thops completely naked with the hair dryer on his hair that he slowly moved down to armpit chest and undercarriage and my
Starting point is 00:32:51 daughter said what's he doing and I said he's having a breakdown. That's not normal. He should be disgusted with him the chock in a change room. Yeah it's yeah I think the doggy the chock in a change room. Yeah. the the they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. that's. the that's. to. to. It's. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. the the the the to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah......................... Yeah....... Yeah.... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. I.. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? And it's not even broke to big ones. Or horrible, like, oh, do you know what's worse than a cock in a change room? What? What? Saggie, ah, no, I don't like it. When men get to about 60 or 70, what a lovely image. What a lovely image. But do you know what? Some lovely observational material
Starting point is 00:33:27 that I could pick just straight away. Oh, thank you very much. Maybe that might find it's playing to a tour at some point, Josh. Exactly. Look forward to that. Buy some tickets. There you go. Hi Rob and Josh. There's been a lot of World Cup football and celebrity chat recently. When I was younger I was Alan Shear obsessed. I used to write to him all the time. We went on tours of Eward Park with my autograph book and had his posters everywhere.
Starting point is 00:33:55 One day, guess what? Alan actually replied. He sent me a postcard from his holidays in the Caribbean. What? What? What? Everything he'd been up to with his wife and children. Asking how I was and being a real gentleman with my letters. I was ecstatic. I bet you fucking work. Alan Shear has taken some tie-up from his holiday to write a postcard. I took it to school for show and tell. I told everyone I met him for about five years. Oh no. For five years a postcard took pride of place to the mental piece in the lounge. But then when I was a bit older, about 12, I got a Christmas card from my sister
Starting point is 00:34:30 and I noticed something really strange. Oh no. Alan, Shire and my sister had very similar handwriting. Oh dear. Could it be true? Surely not. Oh yes it could. I'd had been live, I had the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to the to to to to the to the to the to to the to the thoom, I had thoom. I had their thoom. I had to thi. I had tho. I had to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I tho. I tho. I tho. I thooooooooooooooooooooo. I thoooooooooooooo. I too. I tho. I th seven. My parents had got my sister to write me a postcard from Alan as they were bored of me writing to and thought I'd stop if I got a reply.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Oh my God, that is brutal. I can laugh now. Just get a signed photo of Alan Shear from the Club Shop and send out. Do you know what I mean? I could laugh now but I felt the shame back then.. I met someone from from th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd thin' tho. I'd tho' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me the the the the the the the the th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd thin' thin' thin' th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd to to toa' toa' toa' toa' toa' thea' thea' thin' the. I'd the. I'd the back then Steph mum of two. Oh, that is brutal. Or a Bromley, have the Bromley person right in here. Oh, I met someone from Bromley last night, Rob. Oh really? They're cleaning your windows. No, she said that she goes to the gym where you go with your children to go swimming.
Starting point is 00:35:14 But she's never come up to you. Oh right. Yeah, and right Josh, listening to an old podcast, sparked a memory about when I was watching the London Marathon and said to my husband, isn't it nice, there is a family all at the front running together? He looked at me confused and said, look, the Pace family. To which he burst out laughing, they weren't all the Pace family. They were hired as pace, their their their their their their their their their their their their their. They're their. They're their. They're their. They're their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. thoom. th. thi. thi. thi. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Isn't. their. their. Isn't. Isn't. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's nice. It's. It's nice. It's. It's nice. It's. It's. It's. the runners. You know the guys at the front that set the speed with pace written on their tops?
Starting point is 00:35:47 Hail and pace? Do you remember? He don't look like hail and pace? Norman Pace was it? I can't remember. I didn't know Norman Pace had firmly in Kenya? He don't look like a runner, does he pace? He doesn't. Despite his name. Oh, that's funny. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also. Also, thi. Also, thi. Also, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. they they're thi. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. they's, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. They. They. They. They's. They's. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. thi. th. th. th. thea. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're they're thea. they're they're they're they're they're their. they're. Oh, that's funny. Also, if you are listening and you are like catching up, because we're recording this one now in 2023, but if you are listening on some of these, you've got anything
Starting point is 00:36:11 to contribute, it doesn't matter if an episode was two years ago, we will read it out. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we will read it. If it's good, it's good. Norman Pace. tho'n'n'n't he got any kids? Oh yeah, why not? Steve Davis, Norman Pace. One of them lives near me, but I've never seen them. Does he? Yeah. Oh, he does a bit of directing in the theatre. Oh, you'd love him. Oh, no. You are so quick on the old. Oh, man. I can take an information. I have a gross children's story that after five years is still the most disgusting thing I've ever witnessed. Oh my god, this is actually awful. I feel sick reading it out.
Starting point is 00:36:46 I have two daughters and when my eldest was about four I took her to a swimming lesson, while also looking after a younger sister who was about 18 months old. After the lesson I was trying to get the eldest ready, which was. I should point out at this point this was quite an old paw in a part of a school, a bit run down and not exactly pristine changing room. Whilst in the middle of trying to dress my eldest, my youngest, run up to the drain in the middle of the changing room, stuck her fingers through the gray it. I had to pick lumps out of her mouth. Ah, ha ha ha. Not sure if I'll ever be able to tell her what she did. I'm still traumatized by it.
Starting point is 00:37:32 Oh, that is horrible. Big fan of the pod. Keep up the work. Oh my god. So we'll keep that anonymous for you. I'm trying to make that. We wouldn't want her to know. That wouldn't want her to know. And that was just Matt, actually, that was wrong. Matt, that makes you feel sick reading that out. I'm sorry, that was hard to do.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Yeah, that was grim. Lou never gets her hair out. the hair gets in there too much, it's always her long, darker hairs, she's brunette. It floods after a while, but like to the point where you can't really shower in it because it's flooding around your feet. So then like that means I have to pull it all out, rip all the hair out of it, it sort of to flut in the try and then that thrown, thrown. That means thrown. thrown. that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that that thrown. That means that that means that thrown. That means that that that means that their throwns. That means that means the the the the their that means, that means, their their their tho-all. That means tho-all. That means that means that means, that means, the the throwns, throwns. throwns. throwns. throwns. thi. thi. thi. throwns. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, they. the. the. the. that means that means that means that the. that means means that means that means thrown, thrown,the flooding and then the water goes down perfectly. I just didn't know if you knew that in a sort of quite annoying way. How does that go down? Absolutely hates it and she tells me to fuck off and shut up as I start it because she knows I'll carry on saying it and with the implication that it's news to her.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Nice. Even though I know she knows, but she's never done it in a life.. Sad sad. Sad sad. Sad sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. to to to to to to to to th and th and th and th and th th th th th th th th th to th to to the bad to to to to to to to the to the the to to to to to to to to to the their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th thu. S s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s'e. I thoooooome. S s' tooome bad one. Well I'm glad you're getting this off for your chairs. Exactly. Quick small business? Hi, Rob and Josh. Listened from the start. Coming to the live show in April would love a small business shout-out. We're a small team of counsellers based in Sheraton, Fokeston, Kent. We offer face-to-face counseling or online counseling all over the UK. So you don't need to be based on Sheraton Kent. We have a low cost service for people on a low income.
Starting point is 00:39:06 Our website is W.W.W.W.Lighthouse 4.3. Co.K. Thanks to the last step and the Lighthouse 43 team. Hi, I please give my partner Rain Brooks a small business shout out. She was made redundant recently taking to start her own dog walking and sitting business in Derby. She offers pet sitting, dog walking and droppings for all pets in Spondon, Chatterdorston and the Oakwood area. Her Instagram is rain or shine dogwalt, rain with an E, R-A-I-N-E, because that's her name, rain and shine dogwaltz. That's good. That's good.
Starting point is 00:39:39 So rain or shine dog walks. Love the pod, Toby Bachelor. Brilliant. Thank you for listening. I really enjoyed that. See you next time. Bye. Hi, I'm Tom Craig. And I'm Simran Shark. And we're the hosts of my favorite takeaway, which is back for a brand-new series, where each week we join a special guest to share their favorite takeaway with them and to discuss all things food. We've got yet more amazing guests, including Matt Lucas, the legendary Ken Hom, Ivo Graham,
Starting point is 00:40:15 Edith Bowman, and the Emmy award-winning actress Julianne Nicholson. Sop on a bib and come join us. the tak. pop on a bib and come join us. My favorite takeaway, available now wherever you get your podcasts. Soap from the box is the ultimate behind-the-scenes podcast and we're back for a bigger and better season four. Amanda Holden. Hello. Hello, hello. I used to say to me you will never hear a roar like that ever in your lifetime. Mom McCartney came over and he had a photo with my mom. And my mom going, oh, you're that dirty beetle that used to come into my house.
Starting point is 00:40:50 I'm TV director Lee Salisbury, and I speak to the biggest stars of some of the biggest shows on television. Craters and explosions going off all over the place. And some pop music legends. That was the most important one there at the end. Rear at the year. Thanks, dude.
Starting point is 00:41:08 I am here to jingle. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Or for the whole show, sign up now free for exclusive content at another slice. Soak in the queue and you are waiting, then step to the side. He got touch, you said, yeah, sorry, mate, you didn't seem like yourself the other day. You've only met me three times. The self-service checkouts.
Starting point is 00:41:34 I don't care what you're called. I'm not getting tricked into working here. People at festivals. People at their tampon. Two pounds 69 for a bottle of water. Why is your Wi-Fi code? Ten years long. The brunt the brunt of jeans. Boots cut jeans. What's upset you now?
Starting point is 00:41:54 I'm Sean Walsh. And I'm Paul McCaffrey. We are the hosts of What's Upset You Now. The UK's angriest podcast. And we are back for series five. BOOYA! We all love a good moan, don't we? And Sean and I, well, Sean mostly, are two of the best in the absolute business. And every Tuesday and Thursday, we moan about all those little things that really get our go. We also have guests. What guests have we had, Sean? We have had Romish Ranganathen, Rob Beckett, Mark Lamard, Joe Brandt, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and toe, th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and toe, and toe, and the, and the, and the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and the, and the, and, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and thea., andaughea., and theaughea, and thea, and theaughea, and thea, and thea, and thea, and the Joe Brand, Catherine Ryan, Tom Allen. 15 minute episodes every Tuesday and Thursday. Brand new, What's Up Set You Now, Series 5, out now.
Starting point is 00:42:31 Oh for God's sake.

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