Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S6 EP14: Suzi Ruffell

Episode Date: February 24, 2023

 Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian - Suzi Ruffell. You can find dates and buy tickets for Suzi's tour 'Snappy' at suziruffell.co...m You can listen to Suzi's podcasts 'Out with Suzi Ruffell' and 'Like Minded Friends' (with co-host Tom Allen) wherever you get your podcasts. Give them a follow!! Thanks, Rob + Josh. We're going on tour!! Fancy seeing the podcast live in some of the best venues in the UK? Of course you do, you're not made of stone! Tickets available now on the dates and at the venues below. We can't wait to see you there... ON SALE NOW  14th April 2023 - Manchester AO Arena 19th April 2023 - Nottingham 20th April 2023 - Cardiff  21st April 2023 - London (The O2) 23rd April 2023 - London (Wembley) 28th April 2023 - Birmingham Utilita Arena  If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk TWITTER: @parenting_hell INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.
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Starting point is 00:01:34 Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings May 3, eligibility and member terms apply. Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Right, can you say Rob Beckett? No. Josh Beckett. And can you say Josh Widdickham? There we go.
Starting point is 00:01:53 I like the cut of that kid's jib. It's got a bit of actued on him in a good way. Doesn't, doesn't fuck around. Hi, I'm Robin Josh. This is my 40-month-year-old boy. year old boy, Rowan. You said year old again. Oh yeah, sorry. And they didn't even put that in. With his attempt at your intro, love listening to the podcast as we too are in the thick of it with a one and three year old. Thanks for keeping us sane following the sleepless nights and toddled tantrums. Stay sexy and relatable.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Tom, Emily, Roan and Al want to talk to you about about, you know, we mentioned that you didn't get spotted in Darlington Nando's, yeah. We met her mention that on the pod. And they said, hi guys, just listen to the recent podcast about Josh not being recognized in Nando's Darlington. Me and my boyfriend were tucking into our chicken when I saw Josh walk through and I did th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the their their their their th. th. their their th. th. th. th. there there th. there there thi. thi. there there there there th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th.. th.. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. there. there. there. there there there there there there there there there there there there there there th. I there th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th double take. I mentioned it to my boyfriend because we both love the podcast. Too intimidated by star quality. My boyfriend said, was Adam there, Adam Hills? Oh, unbelievable. Bruton.
Starting point is 00:02:53 My boyfriend said, there's no way that's Josh Winnockham. Look at how feebly he's walking. No he didn't. And Josh, that's isn't what it said. That's what the email says. And Josh, on my life. Feebly? Well, without my words. Unbelievable. Josh walked past us to the to the toilet, walking as if he was going to be attacked at any moment. This isn't true. You're making the whole thing up. And then proceeded to sit in the corner the corner the corner the corner the corner for the corner the corner the corner the corner for the corner the corner the corner the corner the corner the corner the corner the corner the corner for the corner the corner for 10 the corner the corner for 10 the corner for 10 to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. to bea. to bea. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the te. the today. tooomorrow. tooomorrow. toe. And then proceeded to sit in the corner for 10 minutes by himself looking awfully depressed.
Starting point is 00:03:28 So we concluded it can't have been him. Love the podcast, that's from Lucy. That is a genuine email. I did sit in the corner on my own. I do a bit of that. I didn't look depressed. I do think though people think when they see a comedian that they're gonna be we as it going up me and like but when you're not working you are just floating around with a normal face look if I sat in the corner of the handos like I'm on the
Starting point is 00:03:52 time of my life it would have been insane like Ken Dodd he's there with a little feather duster yeah exactly I was just looking at my phone yeah I tho I think that I think though if you thi that that that that that that that that th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. I the. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thee the the the the the the, if you think that can't be a comedian, look how miserable they are. That's a comedian. Yeah, that's ha ha ha ha ha. We do comedy in spite of who we are. Yeah, exactly. Not because of who we are. Exactly. Well, thank you for that. I don't even know what a feeble walk is.
Starting point is 00:04:18 I'd say, well, get yourself inide into Anandos. I don't stride into Anandos. I don't stride into Anandos. I mean you will shuffle in. Exactly. Yeah, because I'm picking up a halumian mushroom pitter. I'm not picking up a full chicken. But I think up north maybe, I think up north for a little bit more blokey than down south so like bloke's walking like big tough guys kind of thing in Darlington it's quite a tough town Darlington so I think you're maybe your feeble for Darlington but I tell you what in that gales cue you're a big deal oh my get out of the fucking way I want a cheese twist thank you very much big dogs in towar the thogu th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho they tho they they they they they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their they they tog tog tog tog togu ty ty ty try try together together try together together together together together they're they're they they're they pastry. Oh well that's good that someone spotted me and was rude about me. That's good news. I have a little hang up for you to worry about the way you walk. The way I walk feebly. Kids saying the wrong funny things. Hi Rob and Josh we were
Starting point is 00:05:15 talking to my son about his forehead. Coincidentally he was age four. At that time he was age four thooo. that's thii. their th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. T thi. The-in. The-I thi. The-a' th. The-a' th. The-a' th. The-I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I the. I the. I was the. I was the. I was the. the. theeeeeeeeat theat theeat theeeat theeeeeeeeeat theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. T' th made the assumption that it was his forehead because he was four and she was a five head. Oh that's nice that's good. Yeah lovely stuff. Heather says on kids mispronouncing things my son was playing with his toy cars and he thought shortcut was pronounced short-bent. Yeah it's always good when it's fun isn't it's always good that's the rule. Hi guys I saw you at the work in progress in to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the work in to the work in the work in to the work in the work in the work in to the work in the work in told told. I told. told. I told. told. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. I. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. that's. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's that's. It's that's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I's th. I's t. I's t. I'm. I'm. I'm t. I'm. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm that's t. I's t. I's t. I'm that's the rule. Hi guys, I saw you at the work in progress showing Norwich on Wednesday, bloody hilarious, sexably and relatable, obviously. When my son was learning to talk, he was obsessed with planes and helicopters, except he called them hairy doctors for helicopters. Oh, hairy doctors.
Starting point is 00:05:54 That's good. Does he think, because my daughter will do some way, that is logical. I can't think of one off the top of my ha my ha the their their their, I their, I, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, thi, to, is, is, is, is, is, is, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. to. to. to to to to to to to too, is. toge. toge, is tho, is their, is their, is tooes. their, is always. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. tooes. toe. to. to, is to. to. to do somewhere you go that is logical I can't think of one off the top of my head I think it just they don't know they're saying it and then it's slowly assimilates doesn't it my youngest you say was bear we for raspberry was bear we and it's so cute and she still does it now and again but it's and she gets it goes oh no no it's raspberry she because they they then she gets embarrassed they then then she gets embarrassed because they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the their their their their they their they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their th the the the the the the their they their they their their they their their their their their they they their they? Yeah. Oh right okay, right Josh, you know you asked for the worst scene you've ever smelled? Yeah. Okay. Which I think... Yeah, yeah, quite a lot. And there's a note here that's written in bold red writing that Michael's put in from the correspondence. Some of these should come with a content warning. There's a few that are quite disgusting and not for those of a delicate disposition. Oh. Should we try this one? Yeah, go on. Hi, Robin Josh, firstly, thank you for the amazing podcast.
Starting point is 00:06:48 You know how exciting it is when your child finds their giggle? And as a parent, you get so overwhelmed of how adorable it is, you do anything you can to make them giggle. Well, when my I lifted her up, I lifted her above my head to blow raspberries on her tummy. Oh no. And as she was laughing, on the way back down, she was sick.
Starting point is 00:07:10 It went in my mouth and up my nose. Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. Oh my God. I've had to turn away from the mic and I don't even know what I'm doing. And I'll fire anyone who says that warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm warm. regurgitated baby milk isn't the worst smell in the world. Oh my God. Malfa knows. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:07:28 I think we do one the show. I can't, I don't know if we can do two. No, that's awful. Oh, I'm sick in your mouth. Oh my God. I didn't like that. Oh, I don't like this feature. It's amazing how smells of you. I don't like this feature either, but I'm almost like addicted to it. I can't read anymore. Right, we'll do some another time.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Okay, should we bring our guest on? I feel sick now. Yeah, it's not ideal, is it? Let me finish on something funny. Okay, don't do another one. On the subject of kids saying funny things from Tuesday's podcast, my youngest used to say for chocolate and sweet and sweet. Cock it and feces. Oh, that's nice. That's good. I can't miss, it's made up that. It's very neat, but I'm happy with it.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Right, Susie Ruffle, great friend of the show. She's got one kid, you'll hear all about it. Love this interview. Please welcome the wonderful Susie Ruffle. Hello, Susie Ruffel. Hello, Josieiddickham and Rob Beckett. Sorry, did I cough all over that, Josh? You really did, yeah, I thought that was quite bad. Sorry, should we start again?
Starting point is 00:08:28 Let's do a proper intro, because Susie's our friend, but let's pretend this is like an official interview. Who are you? Who are we got up next? We've got a lovely comedian up next. I've heard that brilliant. Lovely. Lovely. Lovely. Funny. That's what you say. He's a lovely bloke. He's a lovely girl. No, still a proper intro, Josh.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Go on. But I know what you're about to say, Josh. When we did that gig and the guy couldn't remember my name? Yeah, in Chester. This is like more than a decade ago. More than a decade ago, we're in Chester. About a decade ago, yeah. Oh, fine. A decade in a week ago. Why did I do that? Why did I do that? That's very you. Can you stop talking over our women guests, Josh? Oh God. It's like being back on Mock the Week. About two times I did it. So we were in Chester doing a tour show and then we were doing, it must have been quite a small gig in Chester because you decided to double it with a weekend
Starting point is 00:09:29 gig and then they put me on as an open spot but the guy who I had never seen before and have never seen since couldn't remember my name and he'd written it on his hand and he went up next we've got someone doing a shorter set and it is and then had to look at his hand but rather than th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the th th the th the th th thin the thin thin thin the the the the the the is and then had to look at his hand but rather than sort of looking at quite casually he went, but you're a problem with my hands at the moment, sort of stretched his hand out. To read it. To read it.
Starting point is 00:09:54 And everyone was like, oh, okay. And then it was like, Susie Ruffol. It was so good. Oh, God. Oh, God. And I could see. If If the room, the room, the room, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the problem, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, th. th. th. th. th. th.. th.. th. th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. th. th room was small enough that I could see Josh. I was delighted. Sort of gulforing at the bag. Absolutely loved it. Absolutely dying. How are you, Susie?
Starting point is 00:10:10 We've moved on with our lives. We have. Tell us about your set up at home. My setup at home is that I'm currently having double glazing windows put in inside at Jen Brist's house. All right. So you're not living here. Someone's trying to fight the winter fuel bills going up, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, we moved into a house and it's really fucking cold. Yeah, so we've got to get our windows done. So that's happened. Is it a Victorian build? They're so pretty, aren't they?
Starting point is 00:10:36 But fuckers. It's go pretty, but it's really cold. I think everyone sort of does that They're like a Victorian build. They're the the the their their their their their their their their fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu. It's really. It's really. It's really th. It's really really really really really really really to to to to to to to to to th. It's really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really. It's really, it's really, it's really, but, it's really, but, it's really, but it's really, when they get out, I love it, like a Victorian build. We've like the high ceilings, fuck us to heat. Yeah, absolutely. Windows need doing. Welcome to my life. Yeah, I'm as cold as I am at your house, Josh. It's terrible. So like any good lesbian I've popped around to Jim Bristow's house because the sounds better here. There's not a key either. It just scans you and you get let in.
Starting point is 00:11:05 Yeah. Any lesbians within 15 miles are allowed in and out. They just scan your shoes? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, she's done a bit of walking. There you go, yeah. Hope. They broke them's in. Get in. They're comfy. I did a gig in flip flops on the the th, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, th, get, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, the the their, their. Any. Any. Any. Any. Any. Any. th, the, the, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the th, th. Any. Any. Any. Any. Any. Any. Any. Any. Any. Any. Yeah, th. Any. Yeah, th. Any. Yeah, th. Any. Any. Yeah, thi. Any. Yeah, thi. Any. Yeah, thi. A, thi. A, thi. A, thi. A, thi. A, thi. A, thi. Any, and I just wear on this? Yeah, do what you want, mate. Oh, well, flip-flopped on stage. There's no rules. Was it like someone was clapping?
Starting point is 00:11:29 Because you know, they sort of... Yeah, as I walked off. As I was sort of, Sighed, I'm I wouldn't do it now. I've got a slightly more respect for the art. But back then I hated everyone and everything and just thought, fuck you, I do what I want. And it was really uncomfortable actually, I regretted it immediately. Anyway, how old's your daughter? She's coming up for three.
Starting point is 00:12:00 Three. So we're beyond saying months? Yes. You know, you've hit that you've that you've that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the that tho tho th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thooooooooooooooooooooo. I th. I th. thooooooo. I th. I the. I th. I th. I months? Yes. Yes. You know you've hit that point don't you stop fanning about with 22 months, 24 months. I think the two that should stop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyone that's going like 28. No, no. No two that stops I think. So nearly three so she's chatty, she's fun. Her emotions are extreme. Are they? Are they? Yeah. Yeah. You've got another year with that. Because. that. that. that. that. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. that that that the joy. the joy. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the joy. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. th. ththey? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've got another year with that. Because you remember that bit where the joy is just so joyful. Yeah. Yeah. And the rage is fucking terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. I think three's worse than two. You know, it's the terrible twos. Oh, I agree. I'm a month out. Don't say that. I do. I think physically two's really bad. I thin't. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm a. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. two. th. the. two. two. two. two. two. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. th. th. th. the they can run around and grab everything, but they don't really understand the communication of it to go like stop, no, and all that kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:12:49 But at three, that's when psychologically it starts ramping up. And that only ever gets worse because you mentally get weaker and they get stronger. Yeah, until you're dead. I think that's something to look forward too soon. It's been lovely. Thanks for having me. Yeah, great podcast. Congratulations, guys. Bye. Miller Light. The light beer brewed for people who love the taste of beer. And the perfect pairing for your game time.
Starting point is 00:13:17 When Miller Light set out to brew a light beer, they had to choose great taste or 90 calories per can. They chose both. Because they knew the best part of beer is the beer. Your game time, tasks like Miller Time. Learn more at Miller Light.C.A. Must be Legal Drinking Age. Where is she today? Nursery.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Nursary. Loves it. Loves it. Loves it. Gotves it. That's good. Loves it. Got a couple of mates. Got mates. Gets the bus, got a vape, stuff like that. How do you know about her vape? You're in South London now, they all vape from nursery. No mate, I'm in Brighton now. Oh you've moved to Brighton. We're off the vape. Now you've to the v v v've the vape. to to to to the vape. to to the vape. to the vape. to to the vape. to to the vape. We've to to to to the vape. We've to to to to to to to to to to to to to the vapes. We've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the v v v to the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the v the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th thiape. thiape. thiape. thiape. thiape. thiape. thiapes. thiapes. thiapes. the thapes. thapes. the Victorian windows. Wind, yes. Whipping off the sea? Yeah, straight in them little gaps.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Yeah, exactly that. Exactly that. So she's quite into nursery. It's quite interesting, is it at that point when they've got friends that you haven't introduced them to? Yes. So she'll talk about them, but well. I just want to have a look at them. Where would Barnaby? Yeah go up bring Steve and Jessica out and have a look? So yeah
Starting point is 00:14:32 so she comes home and sort of says that oh yeah I was doing this and we had some dinosaurs and yeah and have you thought to capitalize and text the parents of these kids to set up a play date? Oh yeah yeah. the the the the the the the the the the their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they. Yeah. they. Yeah. they. they. Yeah. they. they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah... Yeah..... Yeah... Yeah...... Yeah................................................................................. Yeah........ the. the. the. the. the. I. I. Yeah. the. I. I. the. the. I. the. I. the. I. the. I. the. the. the. I. the. I. the. the. the. the. the parents of these kids to set up a play date. Oh yeah. Okay. And have you done it? Yeah, twice. And both of the mums were really nice. No, one of the moms was like, oh, I think our daughters are friends?
Starting point is 00:14:53 And I was like, oh yeah, they are. And she was like, do you want to do something? And I was like, to do you want toto the air and I was like yes please please can I come to your house I think everyone's awkward about it but everyone's up for it yeah exactly yeah it's like fresh as week also as well when they get to school a nursery and stuff it's a bit different with nursery because it's a bit different nursery because you're not really laying proper foundations down because you all know they're all's very interesting when there's sort of like maybe a kid in the class who's a bit annoying or being a bit naughty and then you go for a coffee with a parent and you sort of go, yeah, oh so, so and so, and they go yeah, and then like everyone's all tipto
Starting point is 00:15:35 tied around the fact going, he's a prick. And we all think it, how can we extract our child away from that prick? We're in th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I', I', I' thi, I'll, thi, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I'a, I'a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I', I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I've, I'm, I'm, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. I'm, thi. So, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. I'm, thi. I'll, that prick. We're in this together, me and you. But it's awkward if the mum of the prick is there. Yeah. Have you two become friends with anyone from school? Yes. Rob doesn't like the people from school, but I have. No, that's a lie. I'd say, yeah, I'm very matey with them. I'll go to the pub of them sometimes and I play football with them. But I'm in the market of losing of of of of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing of losing to moment. So I'm quite up. I'll delete your number later. I'm quite up for increasing acquaintances through a promotion and a demotion. Okay. Have you got a one in one out policy Rob? Yeah, I'm sort of dropping them down, bringing them up to... Is this a transfer window? Yeah, so I'm like Chelsea, basically. I want a full squad of acquaintance. they threat. I think it's quite demanding being a friend. Is. Is. Is. Yeah. Yeah. A the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the t. the t. their. their t. t. their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's. I'm. I'm, their. I'm, their. I'm, their. I'm. I'm. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I........................................................................................................... have somebody's a friend. I think it's quite demanding being a friend. How many friends do you think you can have? I think you've four or five tops. Yeah. Four or five, really? Good friends?
Starting point is 00:16:32 You can properly keep on top of and help out. What do you consider a friend? Someone that messages you, that says I'm going for a bad time and you have to do more than go, oh I hope you feel better soon. Oh God I've got no friends. How many friends have you got Susie? Um, it sounds like I panicked to year seven. I've got, yeah, like, Rob, so like a handful, maybe like six. I'd say that you're one of them, Josh. Yeah. No offense, Rob, I just never opened few on the road where we had to really put in the years of friendship. No, no, no, no, you two have got more history. It's Tom Allen one.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Yes, of course. Yeah, yeah. If you had like a, I'm going to give you three scenarios, I want you to say whether you go to me or to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the their their to to to their their their their to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their met any of the friends? Do you approve of the friends? Yes. I met a few of the friends, which is really nice. And then there's obviously friends, like Jen, who's house I'm at today, she's got two boys.
Starting point is 00:17:34 I know that you've had her on the podcast years ago. So like then there's the friends mean? I much prefer, and I think Rob disagrees with me on this, I prefer the children to make the decision and we have to deal with the parents, then we make the decision and the children have to deal. I agree with that Josh, I'm on your side. Oh, okay. No, I agree. No, I want her to choose her to choose her friends. It doesn't sound like it. But. But to to to to to to to to to their. to their. their. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I their. I to. I to. to. to. tooooooooooooooooooooo. I too. their their their their their. their. Yes, but if the kids don't get on with each other, it doesn't even matter if you get on with the parents, the day's awful. Oh, no. If my kids are on holiday and they're getting on with other kids and they're quieting the pool, I'll happily have a mimosa with Fred and Rose West. Let's get bogged down by your bass. Let's just focus on the moment. God, how terrible for them to have that name? That must have been heartbreaking.
Starting point is 00:18:27 I'm surprised they didn't change it. You've got to split up in that situation. Well, imagine, because there's lots of West. Imagine if you are a rose and you like a guy called West. You can't marry you. Would you change your first name or your second name? shipman wherever it is you got. Anyway back to your children or child just as a child I don't think I've got to. No I was gonna ask is your partner working yes we both work working full-time yes and you're going on tour your tours
Starting point is 00:18:55 coming up so how are you so Alice works four days a week yep and then I try and have Wednesday where I'm not working yeah but I get a day with her by myself and then Alice gets a day with her by herself on Friday. And then we sort of juggle it. You know, my mom comes and helps, Alice's mom comes and helps. She does a bit in nursery as well. So it's all very up in the air. Is your nursery you can just turn up when you like, kind of a try to the to the one. She won't go to sleep, fucking out. It's not 24 hours petrol station, Josh.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Have you got set days at nursery? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yeah, so she's at nursery, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. Yeah. It's Mama Day and it's Mommy's Day on Fridays. So are you Mama and Alice's mummy? Yeah. How did you decide? I don't, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that I that I that I don't. It. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tha. It's tha. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's to to to th. It's to to to th. It's that. It's that. It's thatea. It's thatea. It's to thatea. It's 24. It's 24. It's 24. It's 24. It's 24my? I'm Mama and Alice's Mummy, yeah. How did you decide?
Starting point is 00:19:47 I don't actually remember the conversation that we had. That's where you and Alice called each other anyway, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yes, it just worked. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, you know Alice. You call her mummy, we're a weirdly as well. Josh calls all women that are older and in mummy. It's just so he's working through it in therapy but they haven't cracked it yet. And that really pissed off Lorraine Kelly didn't it? Worst thing is Rose is a month older than me.
Starting point is 00:20:11 Yeah. So you've had a lockdown. So you've had a lockdown. Yes. And then you've obviously been working and you a big tour, a lot of dates, is that correct? Yeah, it is quite a lot of dates. And when do you start? So I did an autumn leg of it and now it restarts in March. Yeah, so how is it being away from home? I find it quite hard being away. Snappie's a great title for a tour by the way. Yeah, it's a tour that you had to name six months before starting the writing on it. Oh yeah. Oh mate, we've all been there, wallop. So I, obviously for no gay couple was one of us having a baby an accident, but I think, you know, because it was a very planned thing for us to
Starting point is 00:20:57 become mums, and it was something both of us had really, really wanted for a really long time, I knew knew once she came along my work would sort of begin to take a back seat. And so with the tour and with everything that I do now really, it's like what's the easiest way to do this as a family. So I only do a couple days a week so the tour is running on and on and on because I only want to do a couple of days a week. And I don't want to be away too much. You know, a time will come when she's less interested in me and I'll still be a stand-up then, you know, and I'll be going out on the road. So I think it was quite a long journey to us becoming moms.
Starting point is 00:21:33 Are you coming home every night? No. So I don't do more any more that week unless it's there and back and then I'll be home late on that night. But I just feel like at the moment she's so little that she gets quite upset and then I can't bear it and I'm leaving and she sort of goes no work no work and it just breaks your heart. No work no nursery no dinner no holidays. See you in two nights. You've moved away from London right? Yeah. Was that a parenting decision to spend more time with her and stuff like that? Yeah,
Starting point is 00:22:12 do you know what? Part of it was because I was ready to leave London and it's really expensive. We wanted to have a house and we could get not loads more in Brighton. I wanted to be close to mom and dad. They're in Portsmiss. So they're an hour down the road now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now now to to to the to to to to the to to to to to the to have to have to have to have to have to have the to have. the tooomomom. tooom. to have. to have. to have. tooom. to have. to have. to have to have. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have their their their. their. the the the the the the the the their. the the the their. their. their. to. to. to. their. to. to. their. too. their. their. too. their. too. their. their. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. they're in Portsmouth. It's there an hour down the road now, which is lovely. And I really wanted her to have friends who had two moms or two dads. There's just more gay people here that have kids. And I just don't want her to ever feel, you know, I don't want to get out of my tiny violin, but I know that when I was growing up I found th growing up I found th growing up I found th really really really really really really really really really really really really really really I found I found I found I found I found really really really really really really I felt really alone for my sort of teen years. And so I just never want her to feel like that. I never want her, not that I'm saying she'll be gay, you know, 100% of the friends I've got that are gay, have straight parents, if anything, you lot are doing it.
Starting point is 00:22:53 But I just never want her to feel like a massive outsider. I wanted her to know people that were like us. Yeah, totally. Because it is a new thi new thi new thi new thi new thi new thi new thi thi th. th. th. th. th. thi th. thi th. th. th. thi th. thi that's tho that's tho tho tho tho that that I'm that's that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm not that I'm not that I'm not that I'm not that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm not that I'm not that I'm not that I I I'm not that I I I I I I I I'm not that I I'm not that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. the. the. the. I'm not that I'm not that I'm not that I'm not it? For our generation, it's happening a lot. Yeah, totally. But when we were kids, which was only sort of 15, 20 years ago, no one. Not even on the news, like in LA, like, you know, these famous actors are doing it. Yeah, exactly. It was nowhere. And like you say, like, because it was South London, was it's in Siddn. the, was, the, the, the, was, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm in Bromley, and I know Josh laughs, but that's sort of London, it's not in the middle of nowhere,
Starting point is 00:23:26 but the gender roles are really still quite stuck on round where we live. It's like, I'll have mates who are in their 50s, like, or friends of friends or people I've met, they're like, oh, don't your wife, then, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, I, and I, I, I, I, I, I more in our house because I enjoy it more and who doesn't really like cooking and we're both two adults that like do things we like, you know? And so I do think if you went to a school in Southeast London and both your parents with the same sex, it would be more problematic than it would be in Brighton. Yeah, I think you're right. And I think like exactly what you're saying because of growing up when we all grew up you know we're a similar age I never
Starting point is 00:24:08 thought that I could be a mom. Yeah. It's actually why I always put so much into like my career and like I would I need to achieve I need to succeed in some way almost in a way like oh I need to give something for my mom and dad to be proud of because I don't think I'm gonna thin to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the I'm to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to be to to to to th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their their think I'm going to make them grandparents. Oh, that's a big pressure. Because it just didn't feel like it was something that was possible for me and like however you do it as a queer person, whether you do, you know, surrogacy, IVF, adoption, whichever route you go down. It is like an emotional and quite often financial, huge expense. And do you find that you now, is the like, that, to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, toe.. I, toe. I, toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to, to is there like any questions from her or does there any like? Not yet. Not yet. We've got lots of books that are like to dad. You've got Alfred and Albert. Is that the penguin one? No, it's two hard varks. No, then no I haven't. Oh I'd highly recommend it. Oh, send me a copy. It's like two odd fox that fall in love. Oh love it. Yeah, yeah. A. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. opy. It's like two oddfarks that fall in love. Oh, love it. Yeah, yeah, anyway, sorry.
Starting point is 00:25:06 No, I enjoyed that. What a strange distraction from me. I just can't believe there's so many animals, isn't it? Yeah. Is that the penguin one? Is it? Yeah. It's?
Starting point is 00:25:17 the the . the news. And did they adopt or do surrogacy at London's? They looked after an egg together. Oh, so it was sort of like a casual penguin adoption. That's sort of how it happened, yeah. Yeah, which I don't know, I don't know whether it's like, you know, I don't if they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thu. thu. thu. thu. togu. toguu. toguu. thoooooooooooooooo their their their the don't know if they wanted to take the penguin on holiday, I don't know how the paperwork would work. And so what's it like at your nursery? Is it? Oh, there's no other gay parents of course? Oh, there's no other gay parents of the school? Oh, no, but we've got lots of friends that are gay parents and, you know, there's lots of people in her life you know there's lots of different kinds of families in our life more than anything we just want to be like look there's lots of options and then obviously we've
Starting point is 00:26:09 got lots of friends that are gay she knows Tom really well she calls him pom pom pom which I think suits him even more what's Tom Alan like as a fun uncle he's really good with her is he's really good with her he he's he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's really he he's really he he's really he he's really he he he he's really really he he's really really he he's really he he he he he he's really he he he he he he he he he he he he's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to a pride party at his house, I was away working and she went into the garden and Tom had like done it all up with like rainbows and flags and loads of stuff and she ran into the garden and at the top of her lungs at a pride party was when we we found out in real time that she can't say flag. So she just ran into Tom's garden and went, Fags, Fags, so many fags. I mean absolute nightmare. I tell you what. Flags, she's saying flags, she's saying flags.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Lucky she's your daughter there because they're not going to blame the parents. If it was yours. Oh my boy. What are they said behind closed doors? But yes, so I think that was definitely part of the moving here. And I think it's a nice place to grow up. I grew up by the time when I'm at my least funny and at my most anxious.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Yeah, yeah. It sort of defines you as you are the comedian, not Susie, the mom or the wife or the friend, the friend. Yeah, exactly. And all they ask you off the telly or why aren't you on the tele? All those things, yeah. But if you say you're a comedian, it's either why haven't I seen you on the tele or is what are they like off the tele? Yeah, or I don't like this person. Yeah, whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:27:52 And it's sort of like, you have to start going to have book, there's not as many panel shows anymore than there was 10 years ago. You know, you can be totally defined and just obsessed with a job like this because there's not a point where you go, oh you've reached the next you're at manager level or you're at you know, oh you're now a partner. Oh you've got a team that can take some of the workload. You can't send off a little Susie Ruffled disciple to Bradford. I'd love to. To go, yeah, do the show for me tonight. I've got things to mop up with the New York office. But it's all those things.
Starting point is 00:28:35 And then I think that moving and you know, Alice has the patience of a fucking saint, you know, for the first five years of our relationship it was about my job. Yeah. Or four years of our relationship, it was about my job, it was about her being available when I wasn't working. Yeah, yeah. And I think when we decided we wanted to become moms and we started the journey of parenthood and getting there and working out how we were going to get there, we sort of had to have a conversation where she had to be like, okay, so it's not all about your career anymore. Yeah. Which is really good. And how did you feel at that point? I'm out. Ha ha ha!
Starting point is 00:29:12 Does Alice work from home then? Yeah, Alice works from home, and then she goes into London sort of once a week. the she keeps us alive she makes sure there's everything she doing all the mental load Susie do you know what the mental load is is it what I used to do when we were on tour for you? No it's not my god how's this back behind on me I'm joking come on Josh talking about the mental load Josh it's stuff like remembering when a friend's birthday is or what the kids need at school that week yes I think so I'm trying to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to the the to the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to the the the to to to told. told. told. told. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the told. told. th. told. told. told. to me. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Yes I think so. I'm trying to do more of that. But it's Alice is sort of the lead on that issue in your relationship. She's definitely the lead. Who does the bins? I do the bins. Yeah, okay, cool. Do you like the bins? I think it's a good job. The bins is a good job. Do you? Yeah. I don't mind breaking. Oh, the that's. th. th. th. the the the th. the the the th. the the the th is. the the the the the the th is. the the the the th is. the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is thin is th is the th is the the th is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is is th is th is th is th is thin is thin is thin is tie is tie tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. th is is is. th. th is. th is. th is. three on the go. I bet it's all separate in it. Three on the go, oh you know it. We've got a green MP mate. Oh you've got a green MP the bins is a huge job. The bins is massive. I've got to drive the lorry. You have to recycle it yourself.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Sort of rotating. It's not a rotating system everyone gets a to go. What was it like with Josh on tour? the tod. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th the the the thin's is thin's is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th th th th th thin. thin. thin. th thin. tod today. th thin. thin. th th thin. thin. th th thin. th th thin. The bins good parent when you used to see him sort of living his life? Oh yeah, I mean we had such a good time on tour. We're really good mates and Josh was always enormously supportive of me and by stand-up. But did you see him as a parent? Yeah because you know what there were times, did you remember and I had that terrible break up? Oh yeah, you were very in your bed? No, no, no, no, it wasn't quite like that. No, no, no, no. I had a second bed in my room and I asked her to get in. Did you? Okay, so, from, okay. Okay, we're in, you've done the theater in Buxton.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Yes, yes. and it had been snowing. Okay. And so we were winding each other up on the way back being like, oh, I hope it's not haunted. Oh, you know, that sort of thing. And anyway, then I get into bed and I'm a real wimp. Right, okay. And I'm quite frightened. And then my phone rings. For some reason, I think I, that's terrified. Which is really weird.
Starting point is 00:31:25 So I'm in bed. The room phone rings. Oh my God. And it's him going, all right, Ruffel, I know this isn't on your job, Re, but but would you fancy sharing room moods tonight? I'm fucking terrified. And I assumed that he would be like, theymea, never would be like, like, never, like, like, like, never, never, like, like, never, like, never, that, that, that, that, that, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, to.. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to the to me, the to the to the to the to to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the to the the told phone to our agent Flo going it was really haunted where we stayed I didn't like it can we make sure that we're in chains from now on chain hotel is not in chains so Susie are you are you are you are the
Starting point is 00:31:52 disciplinarian I feel like that's Alice and you're trying to be liked and fun is that fair yeah that's I'd say that's bang on the money are you good at discipline yes I mean I try to to be I to be to be to be to to to to to to the to the th you th you th you that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the that's that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the money. Are you good at discipline? Yes, I mean I try to be. It's quite hard isn't it? I don't think I've ever seen you not smiling. Well I can get cross. You just watch it Rob. But no I think I do I do this thing where I count backwards where I go five, four, three, two, I mean you know how it goes. Yeah, yeah. For a little while she was like oh no to do thrown. to to th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, you just tho, you just tho, to to tho, you just tho, you just tho, you just tho, you just tho, you just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you just thi, you just tho. tho. tho. tho. thooooo. thoooooooo. thooooo. thooooooo. thoooo. tho. the, you just whatever she's asked me to do. Anyway, eventually she one day let me get to one. Nothing happened. And then she was like, oh nothing's happened. So now I was like, hey I'm back when she looks to me like, what are you doing? This is really embarrassing.
Starting point is 00:32:33 So what do you do? I just say things like, well, this is very disappointing. I know what a good girl you are, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, that, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. th. Oh, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. than, than, than, than, than, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, than, than, th past the cat on the radiator and went, don't do that again, I know you're a good girl and carried on walking. She's going to the cat! Yeah! Amazing. And then you really see your parenting reflected back at you. You're like, oh God, don't I have it about that. You do hear them saying things in your tone of voice and the things you said, and you th you th you th you th you th, and you th, and you to th, and th, and to to to to th, and to th, and thin, and to thin, and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to th, I I I I I I I I th, I th, I th, I th, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I on the cat, weren't you? I was big on the cat. You love the cat. I really lean into my own cliches, go on. So how's the cat adapted to a child being in the house? Absolutely livid? Really? Really angry about it. So I think when... Was the cat in the bed in the night? She was in the scene. So the cat predates the wife. Oh, the cat's an absolute nightmare. Cats don't die even, they fucking drag it out they? It's like, oh it's like Game of Thrones, fucking up. You're 17, mate, you can't see you fall off a chair, fucking hell. So the cat predates everyone. Even you? Even me, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:44 You moved in with the cat? Yeah. It Even you? Even me, yeah. You moved in with the cat? Yeah. It used to sit on the top of Stowed End when it was being built this cat. I saw an ad in spare room. Must like cats. I thought, yeah, that's for me. I, so I've had the cat for about nine years, and there was a time when the cat was in bed with me and it was just me
Starting point is 00:34:05 and the cat and then Alice moved in the cat was like who is this bitch and then Alice was like I think the cat needs to sleep in the land. Oh Alice I don't think you've got the decision. I love how in charge Alice is you are all whipped and I love it you are all fucking rule in the rules fuck off she had a point the roos. Fuck off, cat. Get out. She had a point. The cat didn't tell. To move in and then move the cat out. Well, the cat was very loving to me,
Starting point is 00:34:28 but she used to bite Alice. Oh, yeah. I bet she blows their nose. Really? Yeah. Our cat comes in at night now and sleeps on our bed, she paws at our faces. No, that cat's got to go. The cat's waking you up before the kids. You want Alice round, she's like super nanny, but with cats. Right so how did you get rid of the cat from the bedroom, Suzy? Oh we've got doors? Okay, just no windows.
Starting point is 00:34:54 We've got windows. It's just fucking cold. So does the cat like Alice now? So does the cat like to scratch on the bedroom door? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? to? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat? tap? tap? tap? tap? t tap? t tap? t tap? tap? tap? t tap? tap? t tap? t tape? the cat? the cat? the cat? the cat now scratch on the bedroom door no right the cat now is she will take any kind of love from anyone yeah because it's been cut off from you because I think that she thought we were doing up the spare room for her I think she was like brilliant they finally got me a massive bed and like we were putting the cot up and she was getting in the car and I think she was like why they plan hard to give my new bed and then then of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I'm. I'm their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.... the. the..... the. the. the.. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. up and stuff and she was getting in the cot and we were getting her out of the car and I think she was like why are they playing hard to give my new bed and then of course we brought him a baby yeah and she was like what the fuck is this? What's this? Keep crying? Krying to try out? Trying to grab my towar? Did it just go out and get out of the cat? Is the the the cat. Is. Is the cat. Is you. Is you. Is you. Is you. Is you. Is you. Is you. Is you. Is you. Is you. Is you. Is you? Is you. Is you? Is you the cat? Is you the cat? Is you the cat? Is you the cat? Is you the cat? Is you the cat? Is you the cat? Is you the cat? Is you the cat? Is you the cat? the cat? the cat? Is the cat? Is the cat? Is the cat? Is you? Is you? Is you? Is you? Is you? Is you? Is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And th. And th. And th. And that? And that? And then that? And that? And that? And that? And that? And that? And that? And. Let it live its life. If you don't come back, that's on the cat. It's the way I think of cats. Let him go.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Open the door. If they go, they go. What's Alan? Is it an outdoor, an indoor, Rob? He's outdoor. And where does he for a cat, friend. But we've got like a kid gate on the utility room. So the dog can see the cat, the cat can see the dog.
Starting point is 00:36:11 But the dog could jump the gate, but just doesn't. It's like, it's like, it's the to'gatheat. It's like a sort of a feel good, a f' that, th. to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. too. too. too. to. too. the too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. toda. the toda. toda. the toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. the the the the toda on the other side. Got a cat flap comes in and out when it wants. Nice warm utility rooms, under floor heating, part of the kitchen. It's going all right. He's having a good life. But will occasionally, when the dog's asleep, we'll jump over the little fence and go somewhere for a warm sleep upstairs, because the dog's not allowed upstairs. How does the dog know go out and the cat does go out quite a lot. I feel like an indoor cat's got sort of like segregation prison
Starting point is 00:36:46 vibe. It feel like it could flip. Yeah I don't think I'd get another indoor cat. It's not an indoor cat. You've made it an indoor cat. No no it's like a breed that doesn't really go outside that much because she's really small. What breed is it? Cornish wrecks? What breed is it is? It is? It is? It is? It is? It is? It is? It is? It is? It is? It is? It is? It is called? It is? It is called? It is called? It is called? It is called? It is called? It is called? It is called? It is called? It is called? It is called? It is called? It is called? It is called? It is called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's called? It's c called? It's c. It? It? It? It? It? It's? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that cost 15 quid. I haven't done the genealogy of her. Cornish Rex. Cornish Rex. Oh yeah, yeah, it is a Cornish Rex. Oh my fucking God, what is that? That's a Cornish Rex.
Starting point is 00:37:10 Geez, I've never seen. That, those ears are big, isn't they? Geez, I've never seen. To thee, the cat's the the the the the the these existed. There you go. Wow, it's a beautiful looking cat. Thank you. So what's the cat's situation now? The cat situation now is that the baby, by the way everyone in my family calls her the baby and that sort of very like goosery. Yeah. So the baby loves the cat. Oh that's nice. The cat hates the baby. The cat's called Velma. She can't say Velma. She calls it. the cat's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat's the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat's the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat's the cat's the cat's the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby's the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby's baby's baby's baby's baby's baby's baby's baby's baby's baby's baby's the baby's the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the baby. the cat's the cat's the baby. the cat's the cat's the cat's the cat's the baby. the cat's the baby. the baby's the baby. the baby's the baby's the baby. the baby's the baby's the baby. the baby's the baby. the him Alma, her Alma, the cat's a girl. Nice, yeah. And gets really close to her face and it's like my cat, my cat, my cat. The borderline too close? Yeah, I think it's too close. Yeah, because they do that with our dog and I'm like the dog will bite your face. Not even a bad dog will do that, but if a dog's asleep and the dog's asleep and you the the the the the the th is th is the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is their th is th is th is thi thi thi that is that is that that that thi thi that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the that, the the that, that, that, my cat, my cat, my cat, my cat, my cat, my cat, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, my cat, that, the that, the that, that, the that, that, that, that, that, th kind of pet. Like, even a human, I want to put my face to that near Looze when she's asleep.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Well, in case she wakes up and bites you. Yeah, yeah, the cat is putting up with the baby, and the baby is in love with the cat. Do you think, because Rose will say this, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, the, the, th, th, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, is, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the the the to, to, to, the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, is to, is to, is to, too close to the cat. She'll often say like when he's going for the cat, she's got the attitude that if you were to swipe our son once, it would sort the whole situation out a bit, if you know what I mean. So like you would teach him. Right, you'd teach him. Everyone will be happy. I think he'd be absolutely happy. I think it'd be absolutely. I got bitten by a dog on the back of the leg when I was a kid and I can still vividly
Starting point is 00:38:45 remember it as quite an intense experience. I don't feel like you're confident with dogs. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you confident with dogs? I can imagine you being scared of a dog? I don't like a big dog. I hate big dog. Yeah. I think Josh's life as a kid feels a bit like a little Enyed blighter. Yeah, it does. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't feel th. I don't feel th th th th feel th feel like th thi. I feel thi. I don't feel like thi. I don't feel like thi. I don't feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel like th. I feel like th. I feel like th. I feel like th. I feel like th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I feel thi. I feel like thi. I feel like thi. I thi. I thi. I feel like thi. I feel like thi. I feel like thi. I feel like thi to school with three kids, it all feels a bit like a little Enid Blighter. Yeah, it does. Yeah, and I think that's fair. Or like the beginning of one of those murder podcasts.
Starting point is 00:39:13 It was like he didn't have any friends. George Wittem from Dartmoor the lead in the school play in the final year. What was the school play? Robin Hood. Jerry McGuary played the kid. You were Robin Hood in Robin Hood? Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah, thank you very much. And get this.
Starting point is 00:39:35 Who's made Marian? Can't remember who made Mary was. That's bad. That's bad. She's probably listening right now thinking I've been waiting for this to come up. There was no pay gap. There was no pay. Do you want to be impressed? I can't wait to be. Do you know how the role was assigned? Anyone that wanted to play Robin Hood had to audition in front of the class and there was a class vote? Oh so no one else auditioned? That's high pressure Josh, high stakes. Turned it on mate. What did you do?
Starting point is 00:40:09 Monologue? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Well done, good for you, mate. Oh, well done though, Josh. It's very impressive. Oh, I was asking one more thing before we did the final question. You said that like you always felt like you'll need to impress your parents because you never thoo to be able to to impressing, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to impress, to, to, to, to, to, to, to impress your, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, to, to able to sort of have children. Yes. And you're sort of from a very working class background where having a grandson is sort of like a big family event and it's a, you know, yeah, it's sort of what I was created to do. What you're born to do in that family? So how does it feel now that you've sort of, you know, had this amazing career that you put everything
Starting point is 00:40:37 into but also you've got this beautiful daughter. Like was it was a moment for the family? Yeah it has been actually. It's been lovely watching my mom and dad become grandparents because my brother doesn't have any children and so it's just her at the minute and it might end up just being her. We're at that stage now where everyone's constantly asking us if we're having another and I mean the honest response is a lot of the friends have had another and it looks really fucking hard the water. Did you consciously try for two. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, the to, the to, the to, the to, the the the the the the their, the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their, their their their th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. thoooooooo. th. their th. tho. the water. Did you consciously try for two Rob? Yes we definitely wanted to yeah but were you like let's check where Lou is on the cycle and get shagggin kind of thing or I'll be honest with it we got pregnant quite quick both times. All right legend legend to the point which yeah I never really got that a week's a shagging. I feel like I got miss sold that it was like. Loo. Loo. Loo. L. L. L. L. I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked I was liked. I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I'm to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was. I the. I the the. I the the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I th.agggy. I feel like I got missold that. It was like... Lou must have been relieved though. We were lucky and also had a way weren't lucky.
Starting point is 00:41:28 So you never know whether that news is good news or bad news. Good news, pregnant, bad news, no sex for seven to six years. So if anything it really got spun on its head. Sorry I deviated somewhat then. So your parents are... thrilled. they love her. She's really really really really really the their their their their their their their their their th. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. We thi. We th. We' th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. I thi. thi. theeee. We're lucky. toeeeeeea. We're lucky. We're lucky. We're lucky. We're lucky. We're lucky. We're lucky. We're lucky. I were lucky. I've thi they are thrilled. They love her. She loves them. She's the only grandchild at the moment. Like, my mom will say things like, she's brought more joy to my life than you'll ever know. My parents are sort of both quite emotional people.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Oh yeah, so they're not like putting too much pressure on you about it. No, no, no, not at all. I th. I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. that, I th. th. that, I that, I th. th. that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. this moment. She's the sunshine of my life, things like that. She throws in. Yeah, it's really good for your brother to hear that as well probably. But yeah, they adore her and she just adores them. And yeah, it's lovely to see my mom and dad becoming grandparents. And it takes a lot of pressure my career now. We kind of buried it. Obviously I really want her to be around other same-sex couples that have got kids. Also it's only about an hour from my parents, so that's good for child care. Also it's good for child care and also because they've only got one grandchild. Yeah, you can't read them.
Starting point is 00:42:32 It's like, oh my god. And they're fairly young, aren't they? Yeah, they're like 42 and they are fucking flying. Leaving for three weeks, they'll be fun. Well, my mom's still got such a brilliant social life that she's like, remember I can't have her in August, I'm going to Benadorm. Oh, yeah, that's the only other problem. They're too popular still. My mom and dad and they're great with the kids but they're always very popular. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. They're their. They're th. They're th. They're th. They're th. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're great. They're great thi. They're great thi. They're great thi. They're great with thi. They're great, thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're they're they're they're they're they're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. They're thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thiiii thi thi thi thii thi thi thi's thi always got bits on, they're going places, they're doing things. I'm like, take her with you. She wants an holiday. Take her to Benadorm. She'll love it. Susie, our last final question. What's the annoying thing Alice does as a parent? And what is the thing you do? And you go, oh my god, I'm so happy that we'm very very is too strong but I'm quite disorganized. Yeah but I'm
Starting point is 00:43:25 always on time and I'm quite good but like works I have like getting places and not you know getting on the wrong train or anything like that but when it comes to like paying a bill or something I'm dog shit. Like sometimes I'll just put letters in drawers because I think oh I do it yeah I do it and then I never do and Alice is she's quite on the today. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th thin. I thin. I'm thin. I'm that that that that that that that thi thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that that that that that the th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the the theee. I'm the the. I being on top of my shit. Mental load she's she does the mental load. Yeah well she's sort of a double edge sort because when she gets me to do stuff it inevitably makes my life better so she is right yeah yeah yeah yeah but that's annoying. Do you know what I'll pay a fucking fine I'll pay a fine because I'm late but maybe I want to pay a fine oh right oh I think she's the good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good I this is this is this is this is this is the good good good good good good good good I I I the good good good good good good good one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one I I I this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is the good good good good good good good good good good good good good good one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one I the good one one one one I the good good one one one one one one one one one I the good good good one one one one one one I I the good good one one I the good one one I this is the good one one one one, this is the bad one. She's very organized and on it and we need to do the thing and everything needs to be done and we've just moved into the house
Starting point is 00:44:08 and this got to be done and that's gonna be done. And so it's all quite, things have to be like exactly so. And I think that's quite hard. And I think she's really because she's too on it. She's so on it. And the good one? It's a good one that she's on it? Well, yeah, I think, partly it's a good one that she's on it.
Starting point is 00:44:31 But I think, I just, I think that both of us grew up thinking that we weren't going to be moms. beach and three of us and it was kind of like fucking how we've done this. Oh like she's ours and we're hers and it's us three and it didn't there was a long time where it didn't feel like long before I met Alice where I didn't think that being a mom and being gay and there were people listening again well loads of people like it totally but when I was 15 it just didn't seem possible. And it sort of felt like when I came out, it sort of felt like I'd said goodbye to that. And so to now be a mum, but also be a mom with someone that's so good at being a mom.
Starting point is 00:45:14 Oh, feels really special. Oh, that's the best to be too... But it's slainly ruined by, do you know what? I'm just picturing, there's a cat back at the house. Sharpening its nails. What the fuck is happening to my life? Where's my fucking ice cream? Where's my fucking ice cream? It used to just be me and Suzy. Suzy.
Starting point is 00:45:37 That was absolutely amazing. It's very funny and it's great to hear about. So well done, Sue. And good luck with your tour, Snappy. Cheers. Should I just quickly Steve Wright here? Edinburgh, Glasgow, Brighton, Norrott, Norratt, Loxford, Lever, Oxford, Oxford, Swindon, Hereford, and Bristol, Bristol, Portsmouthed, and Cresd, and Port, and, and, and to, and to, and to, and to, and to, and their, and their, and their, and their, and to to their, and to their, and their, and their, and to to to to to to to to to to tour. And, and, and good, and good, and good- and good-S and to their, and to, and good, and good, and good, and, and good, and, and, and their, and their, and their, and their, and t, and t, and t, and t, and t, and good, and good, and good-S and good-S and good-S and good-S and good-S and good-S and good-S and good-S and good-S., and good-S. And tourlout, and good-S. And tour-S. And tour-s, and good-s. And tour-s, good-s. And good-s. And good-s. And good-s. And good-s, and good-s, and good-'s plenty of options. Yeah, we're about to book an extra week there, so... If you're all so dark, keep an eye on extra booking more. Oh, so happy for you, Sus, well done. Cheers, guys, thanks for having me. Brilliant.
Starting point is 00:46:11 Thanks, Susie. Bye-bye. Suzy. thrown, Suzy, and, think that helps to have slightly more earnest and deeper conversations about you know what it's like being a mom and having a daughter and then in the same-sex marriage and stuff so it's good to have all the different angles. What it's like absolutely ruining a cat's life because you've moved on. Anyway go and see Susie Ruffel on tour and also she's got a brilliant podcast with Tom Allen yes you should th. What it it it it to the to the to the the to the they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they's they's they's they's to they's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their their their their their their their their their tho. their their their to. to. told too. told tho. to tho. the. the. thel on tour. And also she's got a brilliant podcast with Tom Allen.
Starting point is 00:46:45 Yes. We should listen to. Like-minded friends. Yeah, well they chat about what they've been up to. And her own podcast that's brilliant, called Out. Yes. Where she interviews other people from the LGBTQ plus community. Right. Suzy Ruffle.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Go and see her tour snappy.

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