Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP36: Adam Kay

Episode Date: November 24, 2023

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant writer, author, comedian and former doctor - Adam Kay. Adam is best known as author of the number-one bestselling book ‘This Is Going to Hurt’. His new book KAY’S INCREDIBLE INVENTIONS is available now. In the latest laugh-out-loud book from the record-breaking Adam Kay and Henry Paker, you’ll learn about everything ever invented, from the daft to the disgusting to the downright dangerous. You’ll discover all about the queen who pooed on the first ever toilet, how velcro was invented by a dog and why the Ancient Greeks wiped their bums on dinner plates, as well as 48,762,851,208 other facts. (Approximately.) Illustrated by Henry Paker, friend and fellow comedian, who has worked on all Adam’s bestselling children’s books, Kay’s Incredible Inventions is funny and factual, written with the UK's Key Stage 2 science and history curriculum very much in mind, and is destined to inspire the next generation of scientists and inventors. Just like Kay's Marvellous Medicine and Kay's Anatomy, Kay's Incredible Inventions offers wonderfully gross and wonderfully funny entertainment. It offers fun first but also education by stealth. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Join for just $4.99 a month. Saving to the eligibility'm being. I haven't got an intro Rob I haven't got an intro. Alright, don't panic, we're all right baby. We haven't got time for an intro to today because we're doing the driving theory test Rob. Right, okay, yes, this is the feature no one asked for what they're getting where Josh Widdockham is taking on a UK driving, their theory test with zero revision. Yeah, the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thr, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thr-in, thr-in, thr-in, thr-in, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, tho, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, toda. thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown,the last 23 years. And you should know all these things now because you've passed it once before. Okay. We bring on Adam Kaye, but we said we do this last week, so we'll just knock this out in the intro. Normally we do an intro where we discuss Adam Kay. He needs no introduction. He's a national treasure. National treasure, NHS. National treasure, NHS. That thing. That's, Nh. That, Nh. That, Nh. That, that, that, that, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thre, thre. thi, thi, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. We' th. th. We' th. th. th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We're, th. We're, th. We're, th. We're, th. We're, th. We're, th. We're th. We're thi. We're thi. We're thr. We're thr. We're thr. thr-a. thr-a. We're tha. thr-a. thr-a. thr-a. We've tha. tha. th show. Yeah this is gonna be Ben Wishore. What's that? Yeah yeah yeah. What was it called? this is this might hurt or this is going to hurt. Yeah, from his book. Anyway Adam K. Absolutely.

Brilliant children's book. Yeah, brilliant children's book. You just want to do the theory. Yeah, let's get on on with it. You got an hour to do this normally but we're going to whiz thrown this guy. We're. A. A. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. This is going. This is going. This is going. this is. this is. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. This. this. this. this. this. this. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. not going to do this for a whole fact okay question one Josh on your theory test how can you use your vehicle's engine to control your speed accelerate the options are change to a lower gear reverse changes to a higher gear or selecting neutral lower gear okay next question your approach a roundabout what should you do if a cyclist a head is signaling to turn right stay behind them give the cyclist plenty of room. Yeah that's the one. Okay you can have that one. I'm flying it. I'm absolutely flying it. What should you do if you think the driver the vehicle in front has forgotten to cancel their right indicator? Flashy lights. Stay behind and stay behind and don't overtake. Stay behind and don't and they're fucking. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. that. that that that that that that that you can can that you can can can can can can that. that. that. that. that. I can can can can can that. I can that. I that. I that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can't thin. I can't th. thin. th. th Which side... Rob would go, but Robbott would go hoot and flashlights at that point. Go pull over you, wanker, get out, scream, mug.

Now, which side, this is difficult on a podcast, which sign? Oh no. It means no stopping. It's like a red and blue kind of cross thing, isn't it? Yeah, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, th. th. that. that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. the. the. it? You're correct, yep, that's there. How should you use anti-lock brakes when you need to stop in an emergency? Keep pumping the foot brake to prevent skigging. I don't know what an anti-lock break is. Break normally but grip the steering rule. Tightly. No, it can't be that. Break promptly and firmly until you stop. Apply that parking brakes are. so I'm going to go see. Okay right next question. What should you do is 50 of these? What should you do when you're... Let's do 30. Okay what should you do when you're

approaching traffic lights that have red and amber showing together? Past the lights if the road is clear, take care because there's a fault with lights, wait for the green light. Keep the the their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is the. their is 50. their is 50. It is 50. It is 50. It is 50. It's is 50. It's is 50. It's is 50. It is 50. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. Following a collision a person has been injured what would be a warning sign for shock? I think I should have gone with a green light but it's too late. Flush complex. Flush complexion, warm dry skin, slow pulse, rapid shallow breathing. Okay. You take some cough medicine given to you by a friend. What? What should you... Check it doesn't make you drowsy? Okay ask, ask.. to be a to be a the the to be a to be a the the to be a to be a the to be a the to be a to be a to to the to to to to be a warning to be a warning to be a warning to be a warning to be a warning to be a warning to be a warning to be a warning to be a warning to you by a friend. What should you... Check it doesn't make you drowsy? Uh, okay, ask your friend if it's taking the medicine affected their driving, drink some strong coffee, check the label, see if it will make...

Label, label. Yeah, label, label, okay, that's an easy win that is. Yeah. You're looking for someone to part your vehicle. Neither you or your passengers are disabled drivers. What should you do if the only three spaces are marked for disabled drivers? Don't park in it. Yeah, wait for a regular parking space to come free. Easy, peasy. How are you failing this, Jamie Lang? Right, what could you do to help injured people at an incident? Keep them warm and comfortable, give them something to eat, ideally porridge, keep them on the move by walking them around or give them a them a them them their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, ta, ta'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er, ta'er, thoa'a'er, tha'er, tha, tha on the move by walking them around or give them a warm drink. First one, keep them more comfortable. I'm fucking pissing this. Right, we'll do 20 and see what

happens. What should you do when you move off from behind a park car? Give a signal after moving off, look around before moving off, look around after moving off, use exterior mirrors only. B. Look around before moving off. the approaching traffic... Is this interesting? You're approaching traffic lights and the red light... Everyone's playing along at home. It's got play at home ability. Imagine if you're like, I'm a huge fan of Adam K. I'm going to give this podcast a chance.

I warn you, this is going to hurt new listeners. Josh, you're approaching traffic lights and the red light is showing what signal will show next. Red and amber, green alone, amber aloan, green and amber. Red and amber. Why is it dangerous to travel too close to the vehicle ahead? Come on. Your engine will overheat, your mirrors will need adjusting. Your view of the road will be restricted, your satnav will be confused. See. You're driving towards this left-hand bend, what danger should you be anticipating? It's like, it. It's, the their, the their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, the their, the their, their, their, their, the their, the the the tre, tre, tre, too, too, too, too, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, red, red, red, to, red, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, tre, tre, tre, tre, tre, true.a, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, true, tre, trueards this left-hand bend, what danger should you be anticipating? It's like a country road going left, Josh. Okay. A vehicle overtaking you, mud on the road, the road getting narrower, pedestrians walking toward you. See, I wouldn't have known that, you're little country boy, yeah.

Yeah, too bloody right. You're in a built-up area at night, and the road is well-i-ed-w dipped headlights? So that you can see further on the road, so that you can go a much faster speed, so you can switch to the main beam quickly so that you can be easily seen by others? D. 16 out of a 20. Why should you allow extra room while overtaking a motorcyclist on a windy day? The rider may turn off suddenly and get out of the wind? The rider may be blown in front of you. The rider may stop suddenly, the rider may be traveling faster than normal.

Blown. Okay, the rider may be blown in front of you. It's a very agile back passenger. Good, better humor. You're following two cyclists as they approach a roundabout in the left-hand lane. Imagine if we've done 50 of these fucking hell. Last three, thanks for staying with us. You're following two cyclists as they approach a roundabout in the left-hand lane. Where would you expect the cyclist to go? Left, right, any direction?

Any direction? Or the other option, go to a calf, have a cake because they've earned it. Any direction? Yeah. That's how I failed my first test. I didn't know that a big articulated lorry always took the outside lane in a roundabout. So I presumed he was going to turn off.

Oh, but of course, because he's got to get round. I didn yeah. I didn't know that. We're all learning, aren't we? And if you are a cyclist, listen to this while you're cycling, and you're getting annoyed, you should be ashamed of yourself. You shouldn't be listening to a podcast whilst on a bike. Question 18. How should you dispose of a used vehicle battery battery? Here we go. Put in a dustbin. Take it to a local authority disposal site. Leave it on Wasteland. I mean, that is mental.

That is unbelievable, say. Leave it on Wasteland. So you've gone for D there, thank you. No, I've been. 19. You wish to tow a trailer. No one wishes to do that. They sort of have to. You wish for I wish to tell a trailer. Where would you find the maximum nose weight for your vehicle's toe his?

Fucking out I don't even understand the question. In the vehicle handbook in the highway code in your vehicle registration certificate in your license documents? Jesus. Handbook I don't know. The vehicle in a vehicle approach in next question. You're following a long vehicle approaching a crossroads. What should you do if the driver signals right but moves close to the left-hand curve? Well, that's exactly what I was saying. Yeah, that's exactly what I was just saying. So warn the driver about the wrong signal. Wait behind the long vehicle.

Report driver to the police, the fucking loser. I just stay behind him. Okay, very enough. Wait behind the long vehicle. Okay, right. That is your 20 questions. It'll obviously say you're failed because you've only done 20 out of 50, but I don't think we could, you know, people will be checking into the A&E through boredom. You've basically got everyone right, Josh. 20? You got them all correct, Josh?

20 out of 20? Oh, no, you didn't. Oh, no, you didn't. What should you do when you're approaching traffic lights that have red and amber showing together? Oh, yeah, I plowed on through, didn't the green light? Not plowing on through, you animal. Yeah, sorry. So that was the only the only the only the only the only the only that was that was that was that was that was that was the only that that was that that that that that that that that was that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was that was that was that was that was th. th. the only the only the only only only only only only only one th. the only only only one th. th. th. th. th. thoooooo. that that that that that that that th. th. th. that was the only one you got wrong. Do you know what? It's pretty impressive that, Josh, I'd say. Thank you very much. 19 out of 20, right?

Welcome all the Adam Kay fans. This is the podcast. This is over 300 episodes of you to enjoy. Thank you very much. This is the incredible Adam Kaye. Adam, thanks we get on to that we need to talk about the kids because it's a parenting podcast, how many kids you got, what age? They're very young, aren't they Adam? Is that right?

God I knew you're going to ask something like that. So they're eight months and 12 months. Right and they're they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're eight they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. And they're called, or a year also known as. Ziggy and Ruby. And they're, they're, they're, they're, I don't know. 8 months, can you tell the, does that feel like there's a big difference between 8 months and 12 months? Yeah, I mean, I, I'm too tired to be able to really answer that. I mean, there's sort of Ruby, who's the older one, was born prematurely and she was very tiny and there was all sorts of stuff going on. And then Ziggi came along and he was massive. So he's younger, but he looks like he's like twice her age. But then again and she's tiny and she's like saying words and doing stuff and so that's quite disorientating to but basically I don't really know what's going on and it's just lovely to be out of their

playroom for an hour. Yes. I was gonna say because 12 because they're they're through surrogacy so that the age gaps that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their thi. thi. thi. their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. tiny. tiny. tiny. tiny. tiny. tiny. tiny. tiny. tiny. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was going to say because at 12 because they're through surrogacy so that the age gaps, that's correct, is it? And you're open talking about that, isn't it? Is that right? Absolutely. Absolutely. Omeat. So the bumps are slightly off. So with twins, when they're exactly the same, because quite a lot happens within a few months. Like when you've got a month old, when you've their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. themememolome. th. their, their, thathea. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their is is their is their is their is their is their is the. Ta. Trage. Trage. the. thea. tape. tape. Age gape. tape. Age gape. the. And, thea. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, a year-old, they're at different developmental points. Whereas when you've got twins, even though it's busy with two, they're both doing the same thing, it must be exhausting to have them and have two, but they're just slightly off rather than being on the right, both on the same thing. Twins, but more difficult. The sleeping's always been slightly different, and their nap always been slightly different and their nap times are slightly different but presumably at some point they become a bit

more sort of twinny like when you're like yeah for example when you're like like 43 like me a difference of four months probably doesn't make any difference certainly when you're less than a year it seems to be quite a big thing yes but even at school like you wouldn't speak to someone in in the year below when you were like 17 or something that that that that that that that that that th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they're they they're they're they're they they they'll they they they they'll they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. they're they're th th the. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they big thing. Yes. But even at school like you wouldn't speak to someone in the in the year below when you were like 17 or something. That would be mad. Yeah, yeah. So it does even up. It does even up, I suppose. It has to. It's currently unsustainable. The situation I mean. So I couldn't I couldn't tell you. When you you're a doctor you ask these questions if you're worried someone's got some sort of like dementia thing going on, you know, who's the monarch, what day it is, where are I, I reckon I'd get about three out of ten on any given day.

I've been admitted. I think it's when you've got young kids like that, it is just like being jet-lagged all the time. Like, yeah, constantly jet-lagged. That's a very good description. And you're working a lot on the moment as well, so how are you balancing that, how you splitting the childcare or your partner at the moment, then, how you manage it? Because having a book out and the PR of a book is intense and it's contract.

So it's something you can't really thi-I I I I I I I want to be here. This is literally in a contract. This is three times shorter than Sunday brunch Adam. Just enjoy the fact you're doing this one rather than having to go to London on a Sunday morning. But this isn't one of the shows where I can drink. Actually, I can't. No one knows what the hell's going on. So James has taken quite a lot of their bit it, you know, when I have to go off and do things which is tough on him, but then when I get back, he gets his revenge and he's like, right, I've just been doing this for 48 hours. I'm out. But I think the other thing about work is about a year ago, year and a half ago, I took my, I ended my last tour of This is Gonna Hurt and I'd played to like 300,000 people. I thought what a lovely way to bow out live performing.

And my writing's my life now. I sit in my room and I write and I've done that and that's been booked to bed. And now I've got the kids kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids kids the kids the kids the kids the kids the kids. I've done that and that's been booked to bed. And now I've got the kids. I'm just like, right, I wonder what Dundee's like. They must have a theatre. And so I've just added like 30 dates in the spring. So I'm just going to get some lovely sleep, aren't I?

You're going to take the family on tour? I'm going to try not to. I mean, unless there's some sort of two hotel situation we can find. I think you just need your space in the day. You're almost performing from the moment you wake up, aren't you? That's the way. It's all part of the performance on tour. You need that space. A lot of big tour and acts obviously, when is nearer the venue and maybe not a five star. So maybe you could put James and the kids in the crew. Adele's not staying in the Premier Inn. No, she's not.

Not anymore. So what's your day looking like at a moment then? What's the, because it's all about routine? What's the routine, the kids much less so about the routine. Of course, yeah. We've had the discussion that they sleep very well, which is, which is, which is something. But then they don't sleep at all during the day. They're meant to, all the books say they nap. They can't read yet, they haven't read the books. Sure, they don't nap in the day. the day. the day. the day. the book. the book. the book. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. the books. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They. They. They. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're their. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're pretty pretty pretty. So they don't nap in the day but sleep all night?

Yeah, which I think of the two I'd accept. Yes. I think you'd take that any day of the week. And we do, we do, I mean, they sleep, there's a couple of winders and wines and moans and moans and we do alternate nights in then't the the their their their their their.... And we'll their their their their their their their their their their their their their their we in terms of who's responsible for getting up and replacing a dummy. I can hear the sound of a dummy dropping from a mattress to the floor. They'd say, a mile away? The worst sound, that sort of of the dummy hitting the floor, because I know there's going to be some screaming after that.

How many dummies are in the cot at night? Just the one in the mouth would you have stairs around them? We have 600 per cot. Yes, I think that's the best way. It's like a ball bit. Off chance, they'll just grab one and put it in. And I don't need to get out of bed. I took it the day my daughter the da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. it in her mouth. I just I love laying the game this is it's a new dawn. This is where it all changes. I can't imagine. One day. When it's not your night, what would have to happen for you to

get up and help? Like how badly does it have to go for the rotor to be... Significant fire, not just in the kitchen. It needs to be really consuming a large proportion of the house. I used to, a few years ago, I was getting like some sort of insomnia and I was like, I used to pride myself on my sleep and I could sleep on my full nine, ten hours or whatever, and then my sleep started to go and I was like, there's something, you know, something's not right and even I went to see a doctor about it. And turns out what it, the thing is I just wasn't exhausted. And now I'm exhausted. I can. He just wasn't tired enough. I wasn't tired enough. And now I'm too tired. I could have a sleep that was so long it would be technically a coma, I think. I think I would take the criteria for that.

Like James was away for a few days, getting revenge for me often being away, and by the end of that, I just couldn't do anything the next day. I have no idea how a single parent does it. I literally can't understand it. I don't understand what the day even looks like. I have so much respect for my mates who've done that because I can't even envisage it. It's so exhausting and I know two is a rough number of babies to have under the age of one, but I've got friends who've done that as well. That is full on night. You're right in the heavy bit of it where it's constant, like, every thing sends it off slightly and they're not sleeping and things like, you're constantly

holding them or checking on them. It's not like when they're a bit older and they're running about so you are in the the hardcore. That's the thing, the relentless and the fact that working as a doctor was quite was it was a tough job but the shift ended. This shift two thousand's end. But they are they are great kids. Ruby started saying words which which is obviously amazingly rewarding and you know makes up for the, makes up for the everything else she does, but the, we thought, we've got a dog, what was her first word? Well, first word was dog, and we've got Pip who's our dog, and she said dog, and that was, and that was amazing and every time Pip would come, she'd say dog and we're like, oh, we've got a genius. And then we went. We've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. We've th. We've th. We've th. th. th. th. th. th th. th thi the the the thi thi thi the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. too. too. too. too. too. th th th th thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the. that was and that was amazing and every time Pip would come she'd say dog and we're like oh we've got a genius and then we went to my

mom's house and and she's got a cat she tota and and Ruby pointed it's a great name for a good name for a cat and Ruby pointed at the cat and they were like okay close enough and then we got back and she was like pointing to the fridge and saying dog they said dog and they and the the the the they they they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they they said they they they they they they they they they they they said they they they they said they said they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they said they said they said they said they said they were they were they were they were they were th th th the the the the the the the the the the the they were they were they were they were and we were like, okay, close enough. And then we got back and she was like pointing to the fridge and saying dog. And turns out she thought that word just means object. I think like there's something. It's just a thing. Just a sort of overall term for anything you see that isn't yourself. So I mean we've had a couple

words since so she's just got over that hump but yeah but that's that's amazing when they started to do stuff. We had a similar thing where we're not similar but where for about a week we thought my daughter was a genius because she'd watched she was watching strictly with Rose's mom and at the end of when they put the four scores out she'd just add them up straight away but then she watched it the following week and Rose's mom doesn't notice that they come up the final score comes up on the screen before test says it. So she was just reading it out. And Rose's mom was like, it's unbelievable. She can do these four

numbers just like that before tez has done it. It's like the book Matilda. Yeah, exactly. But no, she was just reading off the screen. Even so, it'll do. It'll do. Exactly. It's still count. Talking of reading Adam. Do you enjoy that, that, that, yeah??. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the th. th. the the the th. the the th. the the th. th. the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the thi. thi. thi thi the. the. the. the the the. the the. the the the. the the the. thooooooooo. And the. the. th screen. Which you know, even so, it'll do, it'll do. We'll take that, it's still count. Talking of reading Adam, do you enjoy that Rob? I really like that actually. Talking of reading, yeah. Incredible inventions. I've also got Cade Anatomy here, so I've got, oh, look at that. This is, is this out now? It's out now, very much out now. Illustrated Henry Packer. Amazing Henry Packer. The amazing Henry Packer.

Um, and so this, I mean, it's a beautiful, good children's books are beautiful objects, beautiful dogs, if you will, and they, um... He's happy with that, any Adam? He's all the flicking for his book, just for that. Spathing in the glory of it. I'm less happy with it now that it's been pointed out. If I just kept that in but I hadn't made a thing of it. He's a confidence player. After the reading link, then the dog for the book object, he's flying. I could be on this morning Rob give me a fucking chance. You'd have to arm wrestle Ryland for it. Yeah I would. He's a massive bloke,

Ryland. Yeah. I love Ryland. He's so big. He's intimidatingly big isn't he? But then he's so very friendly. So it's like it's lovely isn't he yeah. He could be a gangland enforcer if he wanted to go a different route. Yeah. It's more to give your options open, isn't it? It is. I've had a weird career trajectory. No reason. Exactly. I'm just going to the world of the Mafioso.

No one was expecting you to make a book about Incredible Adventures for when you're a doctor. tha th through how you've got here in one sentence. Doctor, bad day at work, comedian, not very good at that, writer. There we go. There we are. What made you want to be a doctor in the first place? What was it?

Being strong-armed by my parents. Right. And being tent to a school that shurned out, you know, doctors, lawyers, architects. It was all sort of predetermined for me. And I wasn't really, I wasn't part of the committee who chose. And so turned out. But you know, parents, as I now realized, want the best for their children. Of course, I was from a family where there were lots of doctors the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, it, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, th. It was, th. It was, you, you, you, you, you th. It was, you, you th. It was, you th. thi. thi. thi. tho, you tho, you thi. thoes, you thoes thoes, you thoes all all all all all thoes thoes, you know, thanks, you know, thanks, you thinks, their children. Of course. I was from a family where there were lots of doctors there, and the best for a child for them meant,

you know, a sensible job. Yeah, of course. But ironically, you're going against the grain of what your family wanted, you've probably had more of an impact as a doctor and talking about medicine and that world through what you've done now not actually practicing it unless you tell me you're like your granddad was like Charles Darwin or that? Was he a doctor? What's he a doctor? Did evolution is sort of medicine here? There's some mitten. I mean I've got enormous guilt about leaving medicine

and so the guilt I have involves me sort of trying to be useful as a member of society. Obviously the arts have the most enormous value, but the bit of me that helped people on labor wards for however many years is still wants me to help. So I'm sort of, I work quite a lot with respect, the mental health of doctors and the various health care professions. So I'm sort of, I'm trying to, you know, use the platform I've now now to the the the the the the the the th. the th. the doctors and the various healthcare profession. So I'm sort of, I'm trying to, you know, use the platform I've now got to help my former colleagues, you know, mostly because I feel terrible about walking away from it. But then I started writing the, my first kids book, the K's Anatomy one, was with

a view to, you know, making kids really interested in their bodies, like and like teaching them all the science they need to know for the biology and blah, blah, but also the important stuff that, you know, that chats about, you know, smoking and sex and body image and neurodiversity and the and conditions that they might have axma asthma diabetes and stuff their friends might have and so sort of getting the stuff subcontracting a lot of the stuff the parents don't want to talk about through the through writing in a sort of

charmy silly disgusting way and then that book went well, and then we had another one that me and Henry wrote called Kay's Marvelous Medicine, about the history of medicine and all the various diseases over the ages. And it's just been so hugely rewarding because kids, as you're very well aware, are honest, kids. If they say we like it, we really know they liked it. But the most amazing thing was having messages from parents saying that this book got my kid reading when they weren't reading before. It's an unusual sort of writing I guess in that it's hopefully funny, silly,

gross, but it's non-fiction rather than fiction. So kids who think they, you know, they've read enough books about a dog who flies to the moon or ever. This is a different thing. Wait a minute. Is that an idea that you're throwing around a dog? Or can I have that? I was hoping you say that sounds great and then I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could th... It's thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. th. th. the. thi. thi. Hopefully, thi. Hopefully, th. Hopefully, th. Hopefully, thi. Hopefully, th. Hopefully, thi. Hopefully, thi. Hopefully, thi. Hopefully, thi. Hopefully, I thi. Hopefully, I thing. Wait a minute. Is that an idea that you're throwing around a dog? Or can I have that? I was hoping you say that sounds great and then I could crack on with that and give you know Badeala run for his money and then whose books are actually brilliant, obviously. But and particularly I had messages from parents of neurodiverse kids saying that there's something in the way that we write that has, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, and thi, and they're they're, you know, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and th, and th, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and th, and th, and th, and th, and they, and they, and they, and they're, and they're, and they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi, you know, you know, you know, you know, you're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're like, you're they're they're like, and they're, and thi, and that there's something in the way that we write that has you know you know they're saying they know their kids

have read you know caves anatomy 12 times and they you know and their teachers are bamboozled by how they know so much science and so what I thought was just going to be like one book has you know started to become a a series and and so and do you go into schools? What's that? Yeah, we just did a A gig in stockport at the plaza to the thick end of a thousand kids? Wow, what was it like? It's? The organs are pain in the ass, isn't it at the front? That massive organ that comes up that they love like yeah, but there's a fucking massive organ between me and the audience? the audience? the audience? the audience the audience the audience the audience the audience the audience? the audience? the audience? the audience? the audience? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What's? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? It? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? Like? Like? Like? Like? Like? Like? Like? Like? Like? Like? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the pain in the ass, isn't it, at the front. That massive organ that comes up that they love, yeah, but there's a fucking massive organ

between me and the audience actually. It's pretty as it looks. There's an organ in the way. There is an organ in the way. We were in front of the organ. So right. Balanced on a thin edge. Yes, that's your function. You're either perform on a tie. thin organ thin organ thin organ thin you're either perform on a tight robe or behind an organ, but it's a beautiful organ. It's an amazing theatre and but the, but like a dozen or so schools had sort of had sent their kids in and there it's just really fun and we keep it silly because I mean I guess my books are a slight confidence trick, even the adult ones are, you know, like this is going to hurt, pretends, it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's just it's just it's just it's just it's just it's just it's just it's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, it's just just just, it's just just just just just, it's just just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just the, it's just the, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their.. the their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's just their, it's just their, it's just their, it's just confidence trick. Even the adult ones are. You know, like, this is going to hurt, pretends it's just a funny, silly, you know, gross out book. But actually it's hopefully making some points about, you know, the NHS and how our healthcare staff are treated. But the kids' books say, you know, this is just disgusting stuff, but we can hopefully get some facts in there as well. When we do it live we major on the on the students.

Is there constant chatter? No they sort of it depends. That is a slam on your performance obviously but I can't imagine I've got the ability to hold 20 children listening to me let alone a thousand. So it's partly depends on I think how terrified they are of the teacher who's the the the the the the the teacher teacher the teacher teacher teacher teacher teacher teacher the teacher the the teacher the teacher the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. they. to., let alone a thousand. So it's partly depends on I think how terrified they are of the teacher who's come with them to the theatre. That makes a big difference and you can see different pockets of these big theaters. Of course depending on the school. Yes and there are clearly some some some some teachers they're like, they're clearly some some more soft-touch teachers, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, they they they they they say, yes, they say, they say, they say, they say, they say, they say, they say, they say, they say, they say, they say, they say, they say, they say, th, tho, tho, the, thi, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thi thi, I thi, I thi, I thacher they're like, we're absolutely not fucking with her. And there are some, there is some more soft-touch teachers who they say, when they say, God, please, and it makes absolutely no difference. But the secret weapon for these shows is Henry does live illustrations. Oh, he's amazing Henry as well. That is absolutely amazing. So he draws

on this visualizer thing and it projects it right onto the bag and he might as well be you know levitating but the sort of amazement of the of the of the children. Any time I worry I'm slightly losing it with the with you know my hopefully interesting facts about toilets we cut straight to Henry and he draws something like oh wow or even better take suggestions about what you you want him to draw and he can draw it. That is I still find that that that that that that that th the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th the th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the might the the might the might the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thus thus thus thus the to toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy the the the the the the better, take suggestions about what you want him to draw, and he can draw it. That is, I still find that incredible, that you can just say, you know, draw a toaster

being attacked by a zombie poo or whatever, and he draws it and it's like, how do you do that? How quick is he at it then? Because the book's amazingly illustrated, it's beautiful. And whether whether it the book it the book it's the book it's the book it's the book the book is the book is the book is the book is the book is the book is the book is the book is a hea, how thi, how thi, how thi, how thus, how thus, how thi, how quick is a thus. thus, how is a throw is, how is, how, how, how, how is, how, how is, how is, thi...... thi..... th. thi, thi, th.... th. th. th. th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, he. He. He. He. He's, he. He's, he's, thi. He's, thi. throw. throw. throw. thr. thr. toea. toeateat. toeat. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. He's, he's, it's beautiful, and whether it takes him an hour to each one or five minutes, it doesn't matter because the end product is incredible, but I feel like he's just super talented, he knocks him out in about two seconds, but he doesn't want everyone to know, so he can sort of pretend, but I feel like he's so talented illustrating, but he can't certainly, he's so tellain, he's so many illustrations. He's, you know, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's so. He's so. He's so. He's so, he's so, he's so. He's so. He's so. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's a. He's a. He's, he's a. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's, t. He's t. He's t so, t so, tot, tall. He's tot, the tall. He's so. He's so, the t. He's, he's, he's, he's, he illustrations in the book. It's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of illustrations. Live, it's, you know, he does them, he does them very, very fast. It's amazing to, amazing to watch. And how did you know him on the circuit or did you meet him further down the line when

you was putting your books together? So, because he's a comedian as well, very funny. Weirdest, weirdest story. So I just th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, I'd th, th, th. th. the, the. the. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing, th, amazing, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. It's, th. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's amazing. It's amazing, thi. It's amazing, thi. It's amazing, thi. It's amazing, thi. It's amazing, amazing, thi. It's amazing, it's amazing, ituffin, the publishers, and we talked about me doing this book and they said, yes, let's do it. And they said, the first thing you need to do is think about an illustrator, because it's, that was a big part of it.

I wanted it to be really, I loved, I've always felt short change when I was a kid and I read a book and you open the page and there was no picture there like come on, come on Blake, put the hours in the photo, you know what I mean? Give me a bit. Give me two photo sections please. Can there's something to flick through when I've been given it as a gift? The only bit I'm going to read. And so I went round the huge waterstones, the lovely waterstones in Piccadilly. We we. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we the book, we the book, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, the, the the, like, like, thi, put, like, like, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, they, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put, went round the huge waterstones, the lovely waterstones in Piccadilly. We bought like 30 books of all different illustrator books and we went and sat in a cafe and we were reading through them and none of them were, none of them had like the added comedy that I was sort of hoping it would it would have. And so we sort of, now that were're right, and so we're a bit miserable.

And then it was Mike Wozniak's 40th that evening. Mike, amazing comedian who people like from cast master and blah, blah, blah. And I've known since I was 18, because we were at neighboring medical schools together. We were in fact at some points in a terrible comedy troop together. Anyway, they won't we were that. So we were there and got talking to Henry, I sort of met, you know, over the years, bits and bobs and he was just saying what you're up to this day and why why you're holding nine Waterstone bags. Oh, it was the exact same day then? Yes. So that is that evening. And I was just, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I to. to. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. that was the exact same day then? Yes, so that is that evening and I was just, I said about this thing and said, well you know I illustrate which I didn't. I was like, do you want to, uh... And I bet your heart sank, because when someone says that, oh, I'm writing a book.

Oh, can I send you the script that I'm working, no. Actually scripted better than book. Oh, that's going to be a a the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. th. th. th. th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I said, I'll th. I said, I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'll th. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Script, you can sort of, you can thumb throw in a half an hour. Oh my God. Anyway, so Hart obviously sung. And then he sent me the next day some amazing. God, he's freaking keenestations. And then that was, it was literally that. Yeah, amazing. Found the perfect person. And they were, and that. Well I just said to the publisher, found the perfect person and they were like, are you sure?

And then, some bode from a part. And then, and they and they said, in fact, they made him do some sort of squid game style challenge, I think, where they put him in a room and said, draw some lungs doing something funny or something. Oh yeah, you're amazing. Oh wow. But it's so, so good. And we write it together. I think there's some books where it's quite clear that the two have never met each other. Yeah. But it's quite collaborative and he'll be like, you know, is there a bit where you can, you know, change it? So there's a space for this illustration

and I'll say, you know, blah, blah, blah, I'll change this and so it's a long old process. It's a, it's a good, it's a good. It's a good, it's a good, it's a good, or so it's a good toaster on it and all like that and you both got yep brilliant do you sort of go oh I just go I'm probably get a coffee for an hour then let you crack on it because it's sort of watching draw it so yeah so he's he there are quite long gaps when I went after after deciding the next 200 illustrations to them having them finally delivered

but I had to write all the next 200 illustrations to them having them violent delivery. But I had to write all the words, all of course, in illustrations. I've had to do 80,000 words. Math speaks for itself, I've got a much stuffi job. Yeah, of course. But it's just you get to do yours first, so then it feels like you're having a break afterwards, right? Or is it kind of in sync? It's a bit instinct so he gets a super early draft so he can he can feed into it. But no he's and also it's just a very lovely man. So was that was a doctor Harry Hill's a doctor and you was a doctor do you all meet up as the ex-doctor comedians?

Paul Sinner. There's a little gang of you. I mean this yeah there's a lot of a checkoff was a doctor he always comes. Graham Chapman. Paul Sinner. Paul Sinner. Paul Sinner? Yeah, who went to the same school as me, 10 years above me. So was that, did you go Dalage College? Yeah. Because I'm from South London, so I've gone past it

and it's one of the most impressive buildings and schools and stuff. And like you say, proper high-pressured, was you bald in there or you, Day? Oh, yeah, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, was there, was there, was there, was there, was th, was th, was th, was tho, was you, was tho, was tho, was that, was th. Was th. Was that, was to to, was to, was to, was, was, was, was to, was, was was, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to, was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi? thi? Was thi? Was thi? Was tho? Was tho? Was tho? Was tho? Was tho? Was thoo? Was tho? Was to to to to to to to to day? Oh yeah there is no more beautiful environment to be humiliated and emotionally destroyed by the teaching staff over the course of the decade. It's absolutely stunning place we have to happen. It's so intimidating even driving past it. You would have listened you would have listened in Stockport Plaza that's the thing. Yeah I really would have was you boarding there then or was you day? No no no because we we lived we lived around the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. Was you boarding there then or was you? I wasn't? No, no, no. We lived around there and so, so just sort of, you just toddled

up. But it was, it was built by, it was basically the same design as the houses of parliament but on a smaller scale. And also it's on the south circular. So it looks more impressive. Because it's like block of flats, some normal houses and then you know, Parliament. It's like the estate agents would gloss over that if they were trying to sell you this, this school. Palacial grade one listed mini houses of Parliament, a bit of road noise, but I mean other from that, don't worry about that. Does that experience make you think twice about, well I don't think twice but like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like the you think twice about, well I think twice, but like you've got kids that obviously are going to go to school. Is it difficult to take your experience of school out of that in a way?

I mean, I do not understand single-sex education and there is no way in a million years that my kids would be educated. I just don't understand. Basically, I was, you know, I didn't meet a girl who wasn't a first-degree relative until like a fifth of the way through my life expectancy when I went to university. That is bananas. How is that, how is that right? I don't understand the arguments. I don't understand the anything about it. So I mean, that's, that's, you know, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, don't understand the argument, I don't understand the anything about it. So I mean, that's, you know, that's for certain. And I'm sure the schools are different than they have to be, to when it was then. And in fact, I've, I was invited back to speak at my old school. I mean, that's, here's a weird thing. When you get invited to speak at my old school. I mean, here's a weird thing.

When you get invited to speak at schools a lot, but the bolsheest schools who ask the most are the private schools. And so, you know, and they've got, they boast about this great program of speakers, oh, and we had Shakespeare here the other day and then Dickens. And so they've got all, and also, they've, they've, they, they, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, they've, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, to speak, their, they've they've they've they've they've they've both, they've both, they've both, they've both, they've both, they've both, they've both both, they boasted about about about about about to speak about about to speak about to speak about about about to speak about about here the other day and then Dickens and so they've got all, and also they've, they boast about the amazing facilities they've got, and we've

got this 400-seater theatre which is blah, blah, blah, and so what we do now is we say, yeah, we would love to come and speak to your school if you invite all the local state schools. And it's interesting that, I mean, most of them in fairness do say yes, and then that's a great event because all these kids from all over the area can be in a bigger room than they would have at their school with sort of all the facilities and all in live drawing. But some are a bit like, yeah, I'm not sure that's going to work. So that's a bit. Oh, really? Yeah, that's quite interesting. In a way, you think it would be a great advert, because if you've got any parents locally on the fence that might want to go to private school, then they get to have a little day and look about it.

Yeah, like an open day, but yeah. That's a lovely thing people as possible to read. And I really advocate for libraries because... They're so important. Growing up, sorry to cut quickly, but growing up in my house, I've got four brothers, we had a little terraced house, free bed house, it was busy. There was nowhere to sit because if someone was eating dinner, I couldn't do me work at the dinner table and they sometimes weren't a space for a desk in our bedroom. So I used to go down the library and I get all

my homework done and there was quiet and space, but now they're never open. So like if these people in smaller houses and flats and haven't got a desk to do their work on their lap or on the bus. They've been cut, cut, cut, and it's heartbreaking. And it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. And, and it, and it, and it's their their their, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their deprived areas of the country, primary schools, don't have a library anymore. It's mad, isn't it? And reading is that, this is a fact, we did a, Menhenger, the book for World Book Day, and the year just gone, and the thing that sold it to me, the idea that we had to write this, this book was the fact that nearly a quarter of kids, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the the th the the the the the the the the the the this book was the fact that nearly a quarter of kids the only books that they own themselves are the free books they got for World Book Day. So I grew up you know in a privileged environment in all sorts of ways, but one of the ways it was most privileged was the access to books and reading and my

dad said when I never forget this when I was I was we were in some we were in the glade shopping centre in Bromley big up was you living in Bromley then where did you yeah I know we sort of that we ended up in Shortland so in the sort of Bromley, sort of Hintilland. I didn't know who's a BR brother as well. Look at this, the Glax. Don't have a brag, but I turned on the Christmas lights in Bromley the other day. Yeah, and I'm, how was it? If I think, if this had gonetogether, but we had very different educational experiences.

So and I was, you know, gone past some toy shop and I said, gonna have that? And my dad was like, of course not. And then we got to, we got to a bookshop and he said, any time you ever want a book, you can have it. And I thought I'd hacked the system. I was like, I found a type of free thing that have, you know, he will always say yes to buying. And he made good on it. And then every time we were by a bookshop, I'd say, I'd say I'd walk I'd say I'd say I'd say I'd say, I'd say, I'd thaged. I'd thaged. I'd thaged. I'd thaged. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd think. I'd th. I'd tho. I'd have tho. I'd have that. that. I'd have tho. to to to to told. I'd have told. I'd have to have to have to have to have. I'd have. I'd have. I'd have. I'd have. I'd have. I'd have. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. that. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. that. th. the. the. to tho. to to the. to to to thoooooo. I'd the. I'd the. I'd th we're by a bookshop I'd say I'd walk in and say I can have that and I was like I don't know how why this is working it's still working it's happened 20 times but I was reading for reading for pleasure here's another you know educational statistic what's something that's almost unbelievable reading for pleasure when a kid reads with pleasure that's the single biggest determinant of their success in later life.

More than their education, nor more than their socioeconomic background, more than what their parents knew more than anything else, it's whether they read for pleasure. And that was fostered in me, and I worry through cuts and through whatever's changing in society, that we're, we're losing that. And so that's that's why I spend so I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th th th th th and through whatever's changing in society that we're we're losing that and so that's that that's why I spend so much of my time writing for kids in the hope that some of them will read for pleasure. Yeah of course. Going back to the school that your your kids have been this same school year will they be in same school? Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah because they're they're November March so that's the right side of the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th I I th I thi tho. I'm their their they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their th I I I th I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thooo thoooooo theeeeeeeeeeeee. tho thooo tho tho tho the thi thi thi, so that's the right side of September, so we're thrilled by that. And so we've moved out to the countryside.

Respect, look, are we living double lives, Kay? Me too. Fuck the big smoke. We've bailed, and there's a wonderful farm school, out foresty nursery place just around the corner. And we went to, we went to look around, in fact, the the the the the the the the the the their, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, their, their, we, their, we, their, th, we've, th... We, th. We've, th. We've, th. We've, th. We've, tho, that, tho, we've tho, we've th. So, th. So, th. So, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th.... We've, th.. So, th. We've, th. We've, th. So, th. We've, th. We've, th. We've, theree. We've, thereean, thereean, threw, threate. We've, we've moved, threw, threate. We've moved, and we went to we went to look around in fact before the kids were born we sort of James emailed if we sort we would heard about it in the village and they said yeah you know you should you should you check it with them and James emailed saying this is probably a

bit crazy but you know kids aren't born yet it you know is it is it worth putting their names down and they're applying quick quick quick we've only got two places left so we hadn't realized. Oh really so it's still as competitive in the country as it is in the city. Really really is but they don't accept the kids until they're potty trained I don't know if that's a common thing right so it's a nursery school not not the primary school that is it's a nursery school. That's a nurse, your nurses. Yeah. And and so it's like how how quickly can we make this happen? I can't. We need to somehow get them potty trained because then we have that that blessed period of hours during the day where we could for example I don't know

have lunch. And what it's also difficult you're like, when do I consider them potty train and when do the nursery consider them potty train? Because I consider them potty now. Yeah, even though we don't own a potty and they wear nappies. That's what we call nappies, potties in our house and they're trained to your little forest school. Yeah, because that's a difficult one, isn't it? If they, if you think they're potty-trained and then they go there and they have an accident, are they then going to be re-banned from the nursery? Yeah. Yeah.

Is there like a sort of lockout period, like a sin bin times? Yeah. What happens? So you're planning to sort of send them to nursery and school together because there was twins at my school where they sent one to one school, one to the other to let them have a bit of independence and have different friendship groups rather than being all in one place, but that seems a bit unnecessary. I think I want them to be pals. Yeah. And so I want them to stay in the same room as long as they can they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they can as they they can as they they can as they can as they can as they can as they can as they can as they can as they can as they can as they can as they can as they can as long as they can as long as long as they can as long as they can as long as long as they as they can as they as long as they as long as they as long as they as they as long as they as they as long as they as they as they as long as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they as they they they they they they they they can. they they they can. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they, I've got them sleeping in the same room at the moment, which I don't, ah, because they, they wake each other up like car alarms.

Yeah, oh my this. As soon as one goes off, the other goes off and then I'd fuck that off, I think. Because they don't know they're sleeping in the same room. You can bring two and a half. Do you want to sleep in the same room? And they're like, oh my God, we've been given this opportunity. Yeah, maybe that's a better answer. I don't know. I've never, I've never.

You're the twins expert, Josh. My kids are two years apart and they've always been in their own separate rooms and stuff but at weekends I always asked if they can sleep together and we found them like that the other night. Oh my god. So they love it so it's a special treat for them now. And in matching outfits? Yeah that's the best thing of no nothing is cute than matching outfits is it? I know. Are you doing that a lot because in a twin situation are you in a the twins in a the twins in a the twins in a the twins in a twin the twins in a twin. the twins in a twin. their their their thinininininin. their thin. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thin is thin is thin is thin is thi. thi. thi. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. they're they're they're they're they're they're twin situation, are you dressing them as twins? We weren't until we realized how cute it looked. I don't know. I think the gold standard is matching dungarees. Oh yeah, that is peak.

That's like, you know, you can tell. Because like, we've pushed them around this massive, great fucking, because we're in the countryside. So thegy is like an Esu zoo. It has to get across the terrain and there's two of them so it's massive. Yeah it's just it's a little and anyway so people are always, I can tell how well we've dressed them but how often someone goes, oh look at that you know, sometimes they'll just glance in the buggy, it just could keep walking and sometimes people go oh look at them but I think matching Dungarees 100% percent. And do you think you're done with two or would you like more? What's your thing?

Because it's quite close together. Did you sort of want to sort of have them and get the young baby stage done and have two kids or? So we'd the idea was that we would we would have them as close th tho th.. th th the th th th the the th th th the the the th. the the the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the. the. the. the. the. to. the to to the to to te tea. to. to. to. to. to. to toge. te. te. te. the. the. the. t idea was that we would have them as close together as possible through this surrogacy process. It's known as a tandem journey apparently when you have obviously two separate surrogates and a couple of things happen. IVF obviously involves IVF and IVF doesn't happen first time necessarily and and it did for one and not for the other and then Ruby was was premature by a month and a half or so and so that those things sort of stretched them I was very weird going

through the IVF process as someone with a little bit of knowledge because I'd worked in that, I'd worked in that game before and there was a, there I was as a patient, I hate being a patient. Doctors make the worst patients because when you're a doctor, because when you're a doctor you sort of bloody get on with it and like you try and like my dad was a doctor Anything that happened to any of the four of us at home We he would just sort it out like I've got a sort of there's a scar on my forehead from when he did a sort of Handfisted repair of a head injury in my house

And you know I'm pretty sure if one of us had needed dialysis, it'd have had a bloody good go at it with what you find in the shed. So, and also, there's now this weird thing, which presumably you, you definitely have because, you know, you're on tellulot. I avoid tel you like the play, the only pictures of me are like sort of tiny 12-year-old photos of me in the back of a book... th. th.......... And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, the thi, thi, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the th.. And, the the the th. And, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to-s.e. And, to-I. And, to-I.a. And, to-I. And, to-I. And, they. And, the the the the the to-year-old photos of me in the back of a book, but I get recognized, you know, once every few weeks, and I hate the idea of being recognized in a surgery, in a waiting room or something. That would be the most mortifying version of all. Anyway, so, but we needed to do IVF. It wasn't happening naturally, so we needed to do... Yeah, of course. Yeah, we get any of the photos made, but we need to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to to their their their their their their their their their their once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once to do to do to do to do to do their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th, their th. I, thi, their thi, their tho, thi. thi. thi. thoooooooooooooooo o' thooooo o' to do, yeah of course, we needed to find another

to have these children. We don't know not going to photos made, but we need to do this, okay? If you have to have a photo with a doctor, we took an IVF. So, and technology has improved a lot in the in the protein pods. There was like magazines when I, you know, when I worked in fertility units. And now we went into this place and there was a, there was a TV screen. And I was like, hey, and I turned it on. Oh, well, you touched the remote. Wow. The old come clicker. I had no, I had no phone reception. So I was sort of, and I turned it on. That's the problem in the country., because the old come clicker. I had no I had no phone reception. So I was sort of, I was playing and I turned it on. That's the problem in the countryside if you've got a wank in a doctor's office. Good luck getting for you, mate. Get back in the

memory bank. That's what they don't tell you about moving out. Get to bloody charring cross hospital. That's got some phone reception. So, um, that's the the the the th. the th. th. That's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the to the to the to the the the to the to the to the the the the the the the to the the th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I I was I was I was I was I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was that. I was threat. I was threat. I was threat. I was threat. I was threat. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was tho. I was tho. I was th. I was th. I. So, and I put it on, the video that was quite, it was quite specialized pornography. Right, okay, yeah. And had this been left on by the previous person? So I made a mental note to obviously reset to some kind of home page when I was that of course. In a way it was sweet to the person in before me was also gay, but on the other hand, that was about as liking to do the job as an episode of bargain hunt, so I sort of canned that, and then pressed the remote control, nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Presumably, you know, it had been the victim of hundreds of thousands of quadrillions. their own spurned, invalidated panasonic hadn't found their way into the pot and an invalidated panasonic warranty on the remote control anyway so you can't change it couldn't change it so and I had no reception so you know where there's a willy there's a way of course got it done just shy of the 20 minutes that also yeah being told 20 minutes I can't do that to mine for 20 minutes I'll be exhausted so you're all the time the clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks clocks the clock clock clocks the clock clocks the clock clocks the clock clock the clocks the clock clock the clocks the clock clock clock the clock clock the clock the clock the clock the clock the clock the clock the clock the clock the clock the the the the the the clock the clock the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the clock the clock th c. th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thooo tons tho tho tho thoo tho thoo the the the the the the the the the't do that to mine for 20 minutes. I'll be exhausted. So you're on a time the clock, the clock's running. Anyway, so I get it done just before the time. Also, James is in the room next door and I hear his door click after about six minutes. He's now. I get it done and then James has gone down to the car and then I'm I leave

the I leave the room and I and you put you put it in a little locker thing and then leave and so and there's a guy and you don't have to hand it you don't have to hand it you don't have to handle person right right with your own hot come in your hand yeah yeah you put in a little locker and then the waiting room and the the the the waiting. the waiting. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. I I they. I they. I the the they. I the they. the the the the they. the the the they. the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is is is is is. the th is th is th is th is th is the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. the they. the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the in the waiting room and obviously the correct protocol is to stare straight ahead and walk towards the stair, which I did. And then a guy hadn't read the protocol and goes, all right, loved your book by the way. Oh God. Oh no. So did you, how much did you engage? Nothing at all? What I should have said, what I realized when I was driving back is I should have not only explained that that wasn't my video, oh because he's next, so that the remote control was already broken. So now he's coming around with the reverse version of this

anecdote telling people that you know he went, you went in the same booth as some, this Adam K former doctor blow watches little and large fetish porn boys remote controls. At least you've cleared that up now. I have you know so and your podcast is extremely popular so it's tried to start if you've had if you've followed Adam K in to the year if his IVF was successful following that first visit he's now listening to the podcast and we've we've squared the circle the circle. the circle. the circle. the circle. the circle. the circle. the circle. the circle. the circle. the circle. the circle. the c. the c. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. the th. the to the year. If his IVF was successful following that first visit, he's now listening to the podcast and we've squared the circle. Exactly, perfect.

And did you have a lot of discussion about going tandem? Yes. James is really, really close to his siblings in age and in life and wanted the dream scenario to be kids as close to each other in ages as possible. We had spoken to some people with twins who were fucking liars and told us that it was actually, you know, looking after the two wasn't the same as, you know, as when we had the third one. It was exactly the same, you know, just, you know, it's a couple more, now, you know,

doesn't make any different change, one nappy or two nappies, you're making milk, you might as well make two bottles. I don't know if they've forgotten or they were just pranking me, whatever it was. franking me, whatever it was. We, as soon as we heard that, we were like, yeah, this makes absolute sense. Get it out of the way. Because most of our mates have done, you know, the thing that, you know,

you've done where you've got one kid and then a couple years later you haven't, and you end up, it clearly from the outside, it didn't look fun having a two and a to to to to to to to can't do anything and trying to balance that. No stop to get your hands out the oven! No no stop rolling! That thing we thought when we avoid that everything happens at exactly the same stage but turns out we'd romanticized it and we've been lied to so that was that. Also as well with the IVF it is a bit more of a lottery so it could fall either way it could be exactly the same time or a couple of months different or a year

different so it's not it's not a guarantee is it? It's a bit more of a lottery. Absolutely absolutely no no guarantee and and then I missed Ruby's birth. Oh did you? Oh? Oh, because she was the premature. So we were, we were in the theatre, not the operating theatre we should have been in, we were in the Almeida Theatre in Islington watching Tammy Fay, which was the musical about the American TV evangelist by Elton Dundon, the music. Very good. Well, the first 20 minutes were very good. I can't comment on the rest of it because James's phone went and and rather than silencing the phone, you know, which is obviously what you know, he ran out the theater and I was like, this has to be important. And so I ran out the the theater with him and it was our amazing so class going on. God Adam Kays just left. And so, yeah. And so, this is this this this this this this this th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This has th. This has th. th. th. th's the the the th's the the phone. the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. This has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has th. This has th. This has th. This has th. This has th. This has th. This has th. This has th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. the theatre with him and it was our amazing class going on, oh God Adam Kay just left. Yeah. He was shit.

Fuck. He knows been wish or shit. I've heard a story about the porn he's into though. Yeah, he's right dirty bastard. Yeah. Sorry, so you've run out the the theater. I've run out the the the theatre. And, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, oh, the, I're, I're, I're, I're, I're, I're, I're, I're, I're, I're, I're, I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, the the the the the the the the the. Sorry, you've run out the theatre. I've run out the theatre and you know I'll sell to get one of our, one of the nicest, kindest, best people who are one of my best friends,

phoning to say, I think my waters have just broken, and so I've gone to the hospital and they said they want to deliver in 12 hours. Blimey. And unless there's any sign of an infection unless I start contracting in which case I'm gonna want to they want to deliver immediately. And so how many weeks in was this sorry? This is this was six weeks early. So not six weeks early but it's still enough you know we were we were planning to go out the week afterwards, spend some time,

spend some time with her and you know, get the five weeks. And you know get get the place ready and get you know buy all the stuff and so jump into a taxi and it's like a film we say Heathrow Airport and of course so she could get she's an she's in America. You the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the week the week the week the week the week the week the week the week the week the week the week the week's the week's the week's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the weeks th they weeks th the they the the they the the the the the the the th th the the week's like a film, we say Heathrow Airport. And, of course, so she, yeah, because she's in America. Yeah, she's in America. We're about Washington, D.C. So at least it's on the right side of the airport. Yeah, I've got East Coast. And then we realize, unlike in the movies, you have to go to the house first and get some passports. Yeah, and the the the the the their their th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and then, and th, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, to, to, because, to, because, because, because, because, to, because, to, because, to, to, to, to, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. Yeah, because, to. Yeah, because, because, to. Yeah, because, to. Yeah, because, th. Yeah, to our house first and get some passports and a badge of course. So actually don't go to Heathrow. You can't just go to the airport

Donovan Smith and hold up the book. So they wouldn't recognize me from the photo in the back of the book because it's 12 years old and like that. And so James goes in and he gets the passport and clothes and I'm on I'm on I'm on scanner scanner looking for tickets the the the the to the the the to the to the the to the the tickets to the tickets the tickets to the tickets to to the tickets to the tickets the tickets to to the tickets to to to to to to to to go to go to go to go to go to to to go. to go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I to go. I's to go. I's to go. Yeah. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. I'm. I'm. to. I'm. to. I'm. to. to. to. to. I's. and he gets the passport and clothes and I'm on I'm on I'm on I scanner looking for tickets and there's only one seat. Oh my god. James doesn't believe me has a look at himself and there's one seat and worst of all worse than it being one seat. It's in first class so I have to pay fucking for anyway. anyway, as if kids aren't expensive enough. Yeah, probably a relief there weren't two, so but not put you in that moral decision. So if we, you know, Philip Decoin, he went out and I went on the first, you know, flight of next morning and he got there quarter of-faced on champagne, loads of sleep. Yeah, exactly. He got there

quarter of an hour before Ruby was born. And then it was, she was very tiny and she was admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit which was obviously beyond stressful and... As an ex-doctor though, do you find it more stressful or less stressful or, you know, it's just your daughter so you're just, you know. More stress? I don't know. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So like, you know, the doctors are saying, she's doing fine and I'm like, I've said fine a million times to patients and that's not the best adjective. That's a hedging bet one you'd have said to somebody else and so but it's a feeling of absolute powerlessness I would have been powerless even if I was there but being on the other

side of the water and anyway James was too you know so I was on the phone to him the whole time getting updates on on a Sargo who's doing to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to the the the the the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So I th. I th. I was th. I was thi. I'm thin. I was thi. I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I th. I the th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theat. I'm theeat. I'm theat. I'm theat. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the whole time getting updates on on a Sarago who's doing amazingly on Ruby who was doing... Did you just go home? Did you never go to the Heathrow? Did you... So I went home and then went out the next, got the first flight and then went out the next, and I'd been having these constant updates, which was great, and then it was weird as weird as I joined the queue for definitely not first class and said goodbye. I was like well at least there's plain Wi-Fi so I can use that you know to get

updates on Ruby all through the all through the flight. I said my you know said my prayer of thanks to whoever invented you know the satellites in the sky that were then I realized it was probably Elon Musk who invented them so I retracted my prayer and then the flight attendant said you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the the the the their. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. It was. It was. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. th. th. th. the theea. th. theeeee. the. the the the the thea. I was. It was. I who invented them so I retracted my prayer. And then the flight attendant said, you know, Bing-Bong, unfortunately Wi-Fi's down on the fly. Should have gone first class, I bet it wasn't down on first class. Yeah, exactly. The pilot's talking to the ground somewhere. Get me on that one.

What was the sayse on. And so I put in my headphones, sadly didn't listen to your podcast, listen to, just put my phone on shuffle. It was a, listen to some Tom Waits, which made me burst into tears. And I'm not a cryer, I think a decade's tears were just coming out for months. And I cried, the cabin crew came over and said, are you okay, sir? And I was like, yeah, yeah, and fine. And I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't they they, I, I don't th. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, th.. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. too. t. t. t. too. t. t. too. t. t. t.'t think they believe me because I didn't stop crying for the entire like seven hours of the flight

I cried in the taxi and I cried when I met Ruby in this Nicky unit and so it was it she had a she had a tough start and I had I was a I was a rubbish dad because I literally missed the birth no you don't you mentioned that a couple of times I heard you say another the the the the the the the th of th of th of th of th of th of the th of th of th th th th th th th th th the th th. th. th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm tho. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the th. I the the the the th. I the th. I the th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm the. I'm te. I'm teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm te. I'm the. I'm the because I literally missed the birth. No, you don't. You mentioned that a couple of times. I've heard you say another interview as well, but that's you can't beat yourself up by that. I don't know if you're doing it in jest or you mean it, but you can't be by the surrogate side for nine months in America. You know, it's. The person who should feel guilty is James. He was not. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. took. took. took. took. took. to. took. He can't. took. to. took. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. He can't. He can't. He can't. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's can can can't. He's can't. He's can't. He's can't. He took. He can can't. He can can't. He can't. He can can't. He can're right. And you say you can't be there for nine months.

We were there so early for Ziggy. We weren't going to, you know, they weren't leaving anything to. Yeah. You're still going to be there for five weeks before. It was just he was unfortunate with the premature. Premature, but you know, we had Tom Skinner on here, he missed. in America and couldn't get home and stuff but that was his wife went into labor early so yeah don't don't be yourself up over that that's how that happens but unfortunately I shouldn't have said this in these interviews because I could have just lied she'd have never known if I hadn't done this

it was this magical time exactly could have posed for some photos after we know you know the difference being what you look at six weeks premature and two weeks premature? Yeah, exactly. But, you know, there's time stamps on those photos. It would have caught up with you in some way. And but she did, it would have just been lovely. I can't just imagine, she'd just looked at the photo and said, dog.

Adam, we've got a time for to just to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to just just just to just to just to just to just got a time for one last question. This has been absolutely amazing. Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you so much more to try. Kay's Incredible Inventions is out. Is it out now? It's out now. It's out now.

It's out now. That's what they say, isn't it? And also, you've got kid who is of an age that they might come up with their own invention, then they can go to little inventors.org. And what they do is they send in their idea for an invention and a drawing of it, and then the winning one, as chosen by me and some proper experts. The invention gets made, goes in the actual V&A, and goes into the book as an official invention. So that's amazing.

That's done with the V&A. That's brilliant. The last question, Adam, we ask everyone about James. What's the one thing he does? We don't always ask about James. No, no. Sorry. I looked up from the book there as if I was like, I was, the book, the book, the book, the book, I was, the book, I was, the book, I was, the book, the book, the book, th, th, th's the one thing he does? We don't always ask about James. No, no. Sorry, I looked up from the book there as if I was like in a waiting room. Sorry, I was just enjoying the book. What's the one thing James does as a parent where you're in awe and go,

oh my God, he's amazing. I'm so lucky we've got children together. And then what's the one things he he he he he he he he he he he he he an thing thing thing thing thing he he he he an thing thing he he an thing he he an thing he he an thing he he an he an he an he an he an he an he an that he does that he does that he does that he does that he does that he does that he does that he does that he does that he does that he does that he does that he that he that he that he that he's that he's that he's that he's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that he that he that he that he that he that he that he was. that he was. that he was. that he was. that he was. th. th th th th. th. th. th. th. th th. th th thin. th th th th the one th th thi. th th thi. th th thi. th thi. th thi.. And if he was to listen to this, you know, you might not want to bring it up with him in the middle of a night feed where you're arguing, but if you listen like with a calm mind, you might go, yeah, Adam's got a fair point there. He is endlessly inventive and I know a competition you should enter. Exactly. The next, the next thing to do, like, you know, sort of, you know, with, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the them. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm the th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I. I. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm theat. I'm theat. I'm theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. I theat. I th. I'm th. I'm th. The next thing to do, like, you know, sort of, you know, with, I'm with them on my own for, you know, eight hours in the playroom. Within 20 minutes, we're playing some, some got awful Elmo music, just because I've run out of sort of fun things to do. Yeah, yeah, that's me. He always knows the next things to do and the things to play with in the, you know, the imaginary airplane and he's so good at that and I'm in absolute awe of that. He's a really good dad. He's just taken to it so naturally. He is also the single messiest person I know.

And I'm including my two children, aged eight and 12 months in that. And there's just, you know, I will come that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I'll that I'll that I could deal with that. And there's just, you know, I will come back if I've been I've been away at a gig or whatever I'll come back and literally my first thought is what's happened? It's like has someone kidnapped them and ransacked the but no nothing's happened. He's just got absolutely all of our possessions put them on the ground, empty the place. What's happened? But no, nothing's happened. He's just got absolutely all of our possessions, put them on the ground, empty the kitchen cupboards onto the floor. I don't know what he does. But he takes so much, it takes me so much longer to tidy up the mess.

Then it's taken him to create it. I don't know what's going on. That's because he's being endlessly creative. It's actually very massive to be creative, isn't it? To like get all of our books and stack them in a pyramid or something. But it's the messiness is the is the killer. I think that. It's the killer. It's not the killer and it's the motive for his murder. Fair enough that's okay. That makes sense. Adam, you've been absolutely amazing. Thank you so much, Adam. Thank you so much, Adam. Thank you so much. And we'll have to get you back on when you're a little bit older and you've had a bit more space and time. Really enjoy chatting to you. Thank you. Cheers Adam. Cheers, Adam. Adam K. There we go. We did these live these out of the back. Yeah, because I just feel I just live live live live live live live live live live. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. the th. the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. Athe bat. Yeah just because I just feel like that is, that's how I feel. Let's just bloody get it out of me. No time to just like consider it, takeaways from that. Don't be a doctor if you

don't want to be a doctor. That's a good life lesson. Second one, can't believe we're Bromley brothers. Me and Adam Fancy. I know. If you'd ask me which person from around you went to Dulwich College had gone Tom Allen. I can't believe he exists in the Glades Adam Kay and his dad. That's why they ever saw him who's in the bookshop I was in the toy shop. Right Josh I'll see it next time. Oh, we didn't get to say Rob that. What? You got the Washington DC came up and you got to use your new knowledge Yeah, because that's obviously the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've th. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho. I thoo. I've tho. I tha. I th. I th. I th use your new knowledge. Yeah, because that's obviously on the East Coast, isn't it? As it goes, yeah. So there we go. Well done.

Thank you, Adam Kay. See you on Monday. Chisday. Whatever. Bye. Andy Bush here from guest. Andy Bush here from guests. The brand new game show where guests are we been asking. our resident quizmaster Statman Matt, and a celebrity guest as we dive into the brains

of the great British public. Statman, what sort of questions we've been asking? Well Bush, here are some of my favorites. Who's the best Irish person? Which finger would you chop off if you had to? And how many human-sized corgis could Prince William beat in a fight? To play along at home and listen to the podcast just visit Gestomators. I think I'd the the the the the the thom off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off I think off I thom think I think I thom thu thu thu thu thu, I thu, thu, thu, thu, thus thoom thoom thoom- their their thoes, thoes, thoes, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their, their, their their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi. I the. I the. I've theat thooooooooooooooooom. I thooooooombs. I the. the. the. I the, the. I the