Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP37: The name's Beckett, Rob Beckett...
Episode Date: November 28, 2023More misadventures in parenting (and beyond) with Rob and Josh... Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy stre...et dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com (E) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
Hello, I'm Josh Winnockham.
Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting,
each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting
woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're
doing.
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Hello you're listening to Parenting Hell with, Jesse, can you say Rob Beckett?
Or Beckett? And can you say Josh Whitticum?
No, Bruce.
Dooliddy. Can you say Josh Whitticum?
Wille? Wille? Well, there we go.
Well, there we go. Got Willie Do I read this, Rob, or should we get straight onto the... No, I'll read this. I'll read this.
Read the read, tell us who that was and who disrespected your, your name, your legacy.
Rob?
Yeah, can I hear me?
What's happened?
Hello?
I've got a feeling it might be his airpods cut out. Uber driver. Hello. He sits there with one air pod in like a fucking... Plug it in, Josh.
Just... This has gone on for technology. It's actually like, it's mental.
I know. I know, okay. I'm buying them now. I'm buying them now.
No, but you've said this before. I feel like I'm living in a fucking dream. Headphones. Not on the pod. I've actually got two bits of other admin I do need to get done on the to to to to to to to to the to to to to to the to to the to the to get to get to get to get to to get the to get to to the the to to to the to to to the to to the the the the the the to to to to to the their. I'm the the the the the the their. I'm actually. I'm actually. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm the their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I t. I'm t. I'm tod. I'm tod. I'm too. I'm too. I'm t. I'm too. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. do need to get done on the pod. Don't use me like a last leg meeting.
What's your other admin you've got to do?
I've got a right into school to say that my daughter's ill are not coming in.
All right.
And I've got to put my parents number plate in the local parking thing so they don't get a parking
permit. Lovely little day for you. Let's do this. We th. We this. We this. We this. We this. We this. We this. We this. We this. We this. We this. We this. We th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. We'll come come come come come come come come th. We'll come th. We'll come th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to the. to to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the. the. the. don't get a parking permit problem. Oh lovely little day for you isn't a little bit of admin.
So when you've got let's do this we'll come to that because I need to know what
we're not gonna come to that we're not gonna actually do that when that's it's your
parents fault for having a son that was their their son that was tho's dea' their city's so that as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as soon as the the the their to as to as to as soon as to as to as soon as to as to as soon as to as to as soon as to as to as to as soon as to as to as to as soon as to as. to as to as. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to there's a train, it's so busy. It's their fault for making you grow up in the Shire, wherever it was, down in Dartmoor.
So you're doing to your kids? I know.
Before you know, Ron, your kids will be saying, Dad, I've rented for an extortionate amount,
a tiny basement flat on Camden High Street because I can see life there.
You know, then we'll have to keep getting to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get in to get in to get in to get to get in to get in to get in to get in to get in their to get in to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to your to to to to to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your your your your your your your your your your your your your your to your your to your to your your to your to your their their their their their their their their their their their the'll have sent us to Lou the other day, they'll get the um,
we'll have to keep getting 20 minute cabs everywhere.
Um, Josh, what, um, who was that on the thing?
Before we do your acting, you're talking about?
This is my nearly 23 month old Jesse, how to say your nam. Can you guess what he found? their name. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to be. th. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to to to th. to to to to to to their. to their. I. their. Um. their. I'll. I'll. Um, their. Um, their. Um, their. Um, they. Um, their. Um, their. Um, their. I I I I'll have. I'll have. Um. Um. I I I I'll have. Um. Um. Um. I I I I'll have. Um. Um. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'll have. I'll. I'll. Um. I'll. I'll. Um. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the recording. It was his Willie wrong. His brother Kai has done a great job at helping me teach Jesse how to say your names. I love your podcast. It's got me through
what's been a really tough year. It makes me feel I'm not totally messing this parenting
stuff up. I look forward to my lunchtime walks on Tuesday and Friday when I often get looks from people as I'm laughing so loud. Nehart. Good luck trying to pronounce that. I have 446 months from Chiltern in Digcot in Oxfordshire in the UK.
In the UK, big up.
Chiltern in Digot in Oxfshire in the UK.
Is she right? She just found where she's living.
It's what used to do when you're a kid, wasn't it? And you'd write your dress and like Earth. The Milky Way? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't understand space.
Let's not get them to that now.
I don't understand that we in the Milky Way.
I really don't know, is that bad?
No, and there's other universes, are then?
I don't know.
What a universe is, Rob?
It's all so far away. This doesn't make me as excited as it should maybe. You know what I mean? I think it scares me actually, it scares me off.
Me too.
And then all I think about is the end of men in black when the aliens are playing marbles with
all the little worlds.
Yeah.
And then I think, wall man.
Do you reckon it feels like there were like 18 year olds having a split of
that at the end of many black black black black black black. the the the the the theory, Rob? Can't give you a split theory. Right? You know like AI is getting so good and so realistic
that you're going to get to a point where everything is as good as real life, everything feels like real life.
Yeah. And so there'll be loads of worlds which are feel like real life but they're not real.
Yeah. There'll only be one real world. Yep. And so the odds are that the one you're experiencing at this moment isn't the real world Rob.
I feel like that sometimes. Do you? Yeah. But also though sometimes AI is ruining things
he's going to take over like real humans jobs but then sometimes like I'll deal with someone in a shop or out and about or the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they're they're they're they're they'll they're they're they'll they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho they're they're they're they're they're ruining things, he's going to take over real humans' jobs. But then sometimes, like, I'll deal with someone in a shop
or out and about or on customer service when you ring up.
And I think, I don't think they are human anyway.
They need a new word.
You know, some of them people, I think, how'd you get by each day?
What's the end of your day? How th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th. th. tho, tho, th. th, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. I'll, th. I'll, th. I'll, th. I'll, th. I'll, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thooooo. thoo. thoo. thi. thooo. I'll, thi. I'll, thi. I'll, thi over the cafe? Anyway, you've got your camera off.
I've got my camera off because I've been getting, well not, I mean getting that much grief,
but my backdrop was football shirts, wasn't it?
Because you've got a lovely backdrop, a sort of buzzing office with personality, or things
you like.
Yeah. And mine was football shirts because I was trying to sound proof of my office and that's all I had and that's all I've got really and I'm not I'm not very good at making stuff look pretty lose very good at
this Lou makes our house wonderful yeah has Lou come in and done this no
anyway so I found something in my office so I can use my backdrop so let me
know what you think could be my backdrop for a bit
oh no oh no oh do you that is lamest thing I've ever seen in my life.
That is pathetic.
Do you explain to the listener?
Yeah, it is the traditional social media.
James Bond kind of intro, what would you describe as artwork?
It's always like an eye or a bull's eye circle.
Yeah, the eye where Bond is in his
tucks holding a gun and then the classic is like the blood is coming down. Yeah. But instead of bond,
it's a quite inaccurate artist's impression of what Rob looks like. Why is it inaccurate? So we should
say it's four foot wide, two foot high. Yes, it's huge. Yeah, of Yeah of course yeah I didn't know the exact
dimensions but it's a full backdrop. I mean look it's it's bigger than my own
head. It's like oh my god yeah he's bigger than you fucking how.
Because it's quite far away actually so they're trying to
read just isn't how big it is. Yeah exactly because it's quite far back so. Bly how that is something else isn't it. The problem is it's going I to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. ti. ty. ty. ty. ty. ty. too. ty. try. today. ty. try. thi. thi.? The problem is it's going to have to be explained every single time.
So what, sorry, you haven't even explained it to me?
It's a giant bond thing but me as bond.
I don't know.
No shit, yeah.
Okay, thanks the explanation.
I'm not even a massive bond fan.
Someone just sent it to me and said,'t know why I did it. But I don't know what you do with it. He spent ages on it
it's something. He's done it really well. He's brilliant. If you want a photo of you, if you want
yourself as bond and he's very, very kind with what I look like on it. I look very handsome.
Well, I'd say what it is. It's not that it doesn't you know who it is. It's much sharper than you. Yeah I'm a bit of a drag on it. I think I need to up my game and be sharper, but I can't be bothered. I wouldn't suit you. It wouldn't suit you. Anyway, how are you, Josh,
all right? Thought it was off school? This week was looking so good. I'd like nailed it. Yeah.
Yeah. Because Rose has gone away? a puzzle trainer.
So we got, get this, Rose needs to go to Cornwall to carry on sorting out this house we're
doing.
We've got our house is full of the furniture for that house.
What, you're London house.
Our London house is full of the Cornwall furniture because she's been ordering it to here.
Lovely, that's a nice little thing to arrive, isn't it? Yeah, so you you you you you you you you you you you you that you that that that you that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thia. thia. thia. thia. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's 't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can basically have to shimmy through the hallway. Yeah.
So my parents were gonna come up to see us,
times with my dad has a van so it can take the stuff down to Cornwall.
Right, so I've, I time-
I'm just gonna deliver to Cornwall.
Rob, you're preaching to the the place. Your eyes are seen.
Because call me a prude, I sort of get stuff delivered to the place it needs to be.
Well, do you know what?
Call me old-fashioned.
Yeah, that's one way of doing it wrong.
The other way is to have a chest, two chests of drawers in your hallway by the door
for a month.
And to get a man to drive up from Devon,
to London, back to Cornwall.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So anyway, my parents come up this week
so they can help me cover the child care.
Yeah.
And then drive back.
All sorted.
That's fine.
Yeah.
Tonight, I'm even going to something because my parents. So I've got child care today for my son because I'm working all day.
Yeah. And bedtime sorted. I was going to go to this Harry Hills got some film he's putting
on. Yeah. That I got invited to. I was like, I thought I'm going to go to a social event?
I'm fucking nailing it. And then I've got the whole day off tomorrow. On a Monday Monday night's bould for a social event. I'll th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's. Yeah. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the th. I off tomorrow. On a Monday, Monday night's bowled for a social event. I'd run out about. I haven't been to a social event in fucking months. Then tomorrow I've got the full day off.
Yeah. So hang out with my parents. Yeah. And also load the van. And also load the van. Load the van.
And then last night my daughter woke up and was six, six times. I think there's this bit of a bug going around where my mate at it, well like it just
goes through the family. Yeah, you're happy next currently on the train to
Cornwall with the dickie dummy. Oh no! Yeah. My daughter was off school
yeah. So then just me just going well just start the podcast at half eight knock it out. Now suddenly this is why I haven't I've still got to write the letter to the
school right during the podcast yes and
what the thing you're gonna what have you got why don't you just message the
school now and just say I'm gonna I'm gonna yeah yeah what should I do what should I do do what should I do what do you to just talk as you pretend to listen what would be your the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. theeeeea. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the? Well, do we just talk as you pretend to listen?
What would be your subject?
What would be my subject?
Kids normally on here, isn't it?
No, in an email.
Oh, fuck that.
Just say, just say,
sickness and her name.
And just say, hello, my daughter in whatever class she's in is not well today.
Just say, hey tho. to say, th tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to tho, tho, to to to tho, to to to their their tho, to to to their their to to to to to to to to to too, too, to be too, what too, what too, what too, what too, what too, what to to to to be, what to be, what to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their their their their their their their their their their, what their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their too, too, their too, Just say, hey mate. Oh God, do you think I should do that?
No! Just say hello. Who you sending it to the reception, school reception? No, the teacher? Do I send it to the teacher?
Do I send it to the teacher? Sorry, and this is why I'm in a bit of a problem here? Right, so
you've done that? Done that. You've done the number plate after after after after after fair enough. Just chill out then. Um, Roger. It's all right, mate.
You've got to do what you got.
This is part and part.
This is what the podcast is, isn't it?
Oh, man.
It's just juggling.
I had everything.
I had everything.
You know what?
to me. Oh, I've got I've got bleak news Rob. Okay, go on. It's a new feature, bleak news.
Well, I thought I'd save it because there was talk of my cat. My cat has passed away, Rob.
So she had an illness that couldn't be fixed. Yeah. And then she had a stroke, Rob. Was a cat? Yeah, which is very difficult to tell people. Because of the context of a cat. They love. T the the the the their. the the their. their. the their. their. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their that's thi. their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their the. the. the. teatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheathe. t. tell people because of the context of a cat. They love a stroke. They love a stroke. That's
the problem, isn't it? So you say it's not the ideal medical term for a cat. Yeah, you need
a new one for cat something. Yeah, so she had a stroke. It was very sad. So we had to take her to be
put down. It was absolutely fucking brutal. It was hardcore, Rob. Yeah. Because I had to take her.
Have you ever had an animal put down? No, I've had a couple of hamsters go but
they're just basically you wake up the morning they're not moving. I was
bawling my eyes out Rob in Goddard Vets surgery at Wonstett.
So they brought me a cup of tea like I was a kind of someone who'd just been in a motor crash.
What am I fucking 200 years old?
Yeah, no, I've never been, I've never, I've never seen it.
It must be brutal, especially you've had a long time.
How long did you have it?
So we've had her eight years.
Yeah.
Actually, it's quite a good check on how long I was suffering from anxiety, it was for us eight years. Because the first time we got the cats, I thought I was allergic to them
because I was able to breathe shallowly.
But actually, it turned out that that was
the first time that my body had gone,
you're doing too much work.
Right, okay.
And you blamed the cats.
So I got back from last leg down under. two cats. Yeah, I could barely breathe and I thought it was the cats and I went to the doctor and I said,
do you think I'm allergic to cats? They said yeah you're allergic. It wasn't it was Alex Brooker and
Adam Hills. You're allergic to disabled people it turns out? It turns out I'm allergic to disabling me.
Terrible for you in your job. Yeah, but it wasn't it was anxiety. It was anxiety. Anyway, she had a good innings. Our other cats just started
sitting in really weird places since. Oh no, so yeah, very high places. My daughter was very
upset on day one. Of course. And then a week later, Rose was still upset, said to me about it,
my daughter. And my daughter said, why are you still going on about that? That was ages ago. It's sort of true though, isn't it? Kids are, you know what, kids absolutely there all things?
What's that, they don't, they don't linger too far in the past, do they?
A week feels like fucking 40 years to them, isn't it?
Sometimes I go into the kids, well they? Also a week feels like fucking 40 years to them, isn't it? I know.
Sometimes I go to the kids, well you've got a birthday party on Sunday and I'm like,
how long is it? I'm like, two days!
Oh, no! No! What am I going to do for two days? Yeah, so to her, I was saying, still sad about Eddie, is the equivalent of me talking going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going going still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still going. to going. to going? to going? to going? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to her, us saying, still sad about Eddie, is the equivalent of me talking to you about
John Lennon dying in 1980.
Do you know what I mean?
Still going on about that, mate.
Yeah, fucking hell, mate, move on.
Move on, Josh.
Oh, that's good though, she's not upset.
Well, she was on the die.
to go and pick got the ashes, we've gotten them in an urn. Can't be a lot, can it? What, a handful?
How many did you get for a cat handful?
You pay a bit extra, Rob, to get your actual cat's ashes
rather than just some of the general ashes.
I think that's money well spent.
So what you're paying for?
They say, do you want us to put the ashes back? Do you want us the the the the to to the to to to to to to to the to to the to to the to get to get to get to get their. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. to to to to to to get. to get. to get to get to get to get. to get. to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to get. their. their. their, to get. their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. tasks. tooombs. tooombse. tooombse. tooe. toe. toe. toe. toe us to put the cat through separately so you get the actual ashes? Well, yeah, obviously, yeah.
Well, and then I've just got a load of dust.
Yeah, or do you want a bit of a cheaper option?
We'll put all the cats through at the same time and you can just have some general cat.
Yeah, miscellaneous cat.
No, I'll be all right with that.
I'd want to be a lot of a cat. The ones the fur goes. Well, I'll let you know,
I've got to go and pick her up. We've got her in a black cat. They'll probably give it in
one of them little bags that people sell cocaine in. Don't wrong. Oh, God. Awful. I remember. I vividly remember
reading a column maybe a decade ago, more by Charlie Brook about how
he could never get a dog because he knows he couldn't deal with a dog dying.
Yeah.
Because I remember when Seth Fabragas went Barcelona from Arsenal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that hit me.
Did it?
Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, Rob? Of course it is. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. The dog will die at some. that. that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th, th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho th th th tho tho tho tho tho, tho, tho tho tho th. tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to thi to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all Rob? Of course it is. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. The dog will die at some point, the cat will die at what some point, well, I'll die at some point, Josh.
All they're gone will be this painting.
That's my legacy. That's my legacy. With some ashes below it.
Generic Rob Ashlesses or do you want?
I'll chuck it in with whatever.
We can put eight bodies through at once or do you want Rob's actual ashes, your decision?
Just the comedy teeth on top of a vase in my daughter's front room as a husband goes.
We have to have that out.
You've already got the bond poster up.
Oh dear. Yes, well, I'm sorry it's been a bit bleak, Josh. to to to to to to Bond poster up. Oh dear.
Yes, well I'm sorry it's been a bit bleak Josh but.
No, it's all right.
It's good for kids I think to chat about that kind of stuff in it though.
Definitely.
Definitely. It's inevitable.
It's inevitable.
His own point of being stressed about the inevitable.
It's sort of accept it, but it's hard to. That's the thing. I find this time of year very depressed and I was going to chat you about it. I always get... I fucking love it. Well no, I, so I find the winter and the cold
and the rain. Are you an SAD guy? I find my mental, keep it on top of my mental health,
so much harder when it's dark and cold and miserable. Do bit harder to get on with things wrong way more positive and full of beans in the summer like most people are.
Yeah yeah. I find you easier to deal with in winter.
Just a little bit more reserved. I like, do you know what, it just takes the edge
off it's quite nice. Lose the same actually when I'm really buzzing, lose a bit like this is too much for me. I met you when you when you when when you when you when you when you when you when you when you when you when you when the the the th. I met you are when th. I met you when th. I met you when th. I met you when th. I met you when the you when the the the the the. I met you when thin the. I met you when the. I met you when the. I met you when to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thin thin thin thin thin thin, I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm just the. I'm the. I'll give you a friend. But then what I always do is I'm like, well, once I get to then, that's what I'm finishing for Christmas.
Or once I get to that, once I get to that, and I love Christmas, but then sometimes I feel like
I just build up to it. I think, oh, it'll all be right at Christmas.
And then, well, well once I get to that once I get to that because it gets so busy and full-on so that's what I'm trying to try to
do yeah yeah that's good that's good Rob so got a lot got a lot coming up
Josh the next few weeks loads going on have you have you to the parenting wise or like you're working a lot busy that work to to the too's to work work work work work work work work work work work work work work to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the that the the that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that ask about this. I get really excited in the countryside like you do in London. I saw a pheasant the other day and it just blew my mind.
Oh, Rob.
Have you seen one before?
Yeah.
They meant all little things.
It's like a mad chicken, isn't it?
Yeah.
Um, I have seen.
the phea thea. calling them horns and Lou keeps telling me off. It's rat in season I think. What? So where do you live?
Who are you, the Queen?
Like,
No, it's just where I live in the countryside, don't I, Josh?
I've got deer's badges.
I think we've lived to brown moral.
There is there's loads.
Have I never shown you the picture.
I trust you. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. to. to. the. the. to. to. to. the the the told. told. told. told. to told. the the to to to told. to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the. the. to. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. the the the the the the the the the the you a picture of a deer. Rob, I've got bad news for you.
You've become the kind of person that's finding pictures of deer on your phone.
I know, but that's like you taking photos of the shard.
To be back to all the bunkings.
Or you can see the shard from my daughter's room and it still blows my mind.
Does it? Yeah, yeah. That is mad. See I could see Canary Wolf walking home from school every day and it was just so over it by
year seven. Right yeah so let me tell you this Josh tell me what you think about this. My kids
dad she's eight my oldest okay yeah and she went on to try and she went on yesterday she was like oh um I might go to have a bath and I was like sorry am I talking to Lou? Pardon me just have a cozy one. So to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to to to to to go to go go go go go go go go to to their the the tell me to to tell me to to to tell to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tell tell tell tell tell tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me to to tell me to to to and just get a little tired.
She might just have a cozy one.
Sorry.
Who, who's the fuck?
Who's this woman in my hell?
Anyway, she went up there and I went, oh, do you want to come up and she went, no, and
I had to run it. And I was like, oh, do you, I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, the to careful, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, and, and, and, and, I, I, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, just, I, I, I, I, just, just, I, I, just, just, I, I, just, I, I'm, I'm, just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm just, I'm, I'm just, I'm just, to just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, I'm like, careful with the hot water. She's like, no, I know what I'm doing. And I was like, Lou, she's like, yeah, yeah, she sort of does that now.
So anyway, she went up there,
and she's just in the bath.
Yeah, I was like, well, should one of us be up there,
Lou, because she's eight?
And like, she plays in a flake. Plake candles on, plays with like water a bit and she has her iPad on the side
to watch, ladies of the ball watching her iPad.
Yeah, yeah.
And what time is this?
What the time is it? It's about four o'clock?
When I saturday we'd been out and done stuff in the day.
She'd come back from a kid's party, just wanted to run, just just a bit of her time. She's a fucking relax, put on some bloody ennia. I'll say the
well I'll go up there and I'll, if I'm upstairs, I can be sort of like walking around
the upstairs and I can go in and out of the room and double check the right. And then in the end the end up and I'm just like laying in a to to to a to to a to a to to their, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, I, I, I'll, I, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, tell, I'll, tell, I'll, tell, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, bath. She's got, they've got on, she's got an on-sweet bathroom, which will make me physically sick
to this day that she's got an unsweet bathroom.
But you can't scream in a child's face, going, you've got a fucking unsweet bathroom.
Yeah, but it seems counterproductive.
Yeah, because you or you used to have to shit in a bucket, shit on me and then I'll just wash it off of a hose.
You know, partly wants them to grow up and be well-adjusted children be aware that
they've had a lovely lifestyle and a lot of privilege, but then I almost want them to be like
16 and be aggy and start going at me and then I just rip them a new one, don't I mean? Like an East End of see? Yeah, of course. Anyway, so I'll go and lay in a bed like, like, like, I'm a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. And I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, their ga, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll th. And, I'll, I'll, I'll th. And, I'll, I'll th. And, I'll, I'll th. And, I'll th. And, I'll th. And then, I'll th. And then, I'll th. And then, I'll th. And then, I'll th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thin, th. And, th. And, th. And,er scene. Yeah, yeah, of course. Anyway, so I'll go and lay in the bed
and I'm sort of laying a bed like,
watch you in the bath.
And she's like, Dad, what you're doing?
I'm like, I'll just like watch you in the bath.
She would, why?
And I was like, well, it's actually quite weird, isn't it?
I want to be embarrassed about stuff like that?
Is she?
Of course, not yet, but that's not far off.
It's not far off is what I mean, yeah.
You don't want to be like, oh when I have a bath my dad watches, before you're in
the school, talking to like know, particularly when they say, well, that's all right because you're having a bath before you go to bed and then she's like,
no, no, no, it was 4 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon I just went for a bath and I just went for a bath.
I just went for a today and I just, like, right worst parent in the world. So I just, I mean, there must be, maybe it's a good thing for people to write in about.
When have you done something with your kids
and as you're doing it, you think,
I think I'm too old to be doing this?
Or like, it's like, it's got a bomb beyond.
But you're just trying to be a good parent. But you know, no, they they they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they they they they th. When, they they they they they they they they they they they they, when, they, they, they, they, they, they, th.. When, th. When, th. When, th. When, th. When, th. When, th. When, th. When, th. They th. They th. When, th. When, th. They're th. When, th. When, thin. thin. that, that, that, that, that, that, throooooo. the. theat, theat, that, when that, when't it, as a parent and that's, you know, this is not, you know,
because my daughter, I don't want my daughter's bum anymore,
you know, do you not?
Well, no, she's five, so like that is way too old.
And I was saying that this is too old
and the was just laughing at me.
But now, I'm having that debate, I that debate, time. No, we're in a kind of one-on-one-off. One-on-one-off. Because I know she
must do it at school. Well I don't think they go at school. Do they not? I don't think so.
The size minds are knocking out. There can't be more than one of them a day.
They'll start running out of body. Bob, I mean you watch, I mean you watch, I bath you're watching them shit and then checking the site. You really know. She asked me to wipe her pubs, I wiped it and I saw it. I mean that was, you know,
I wasn't seeking it out. You need to just give them some space mate. Give them a bit of space.
Yeah, so they're bathing themselves Josh. They keep winding Lou up when she gets stressed in the morning, which is quite funny and they shouted the the th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. I was. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I I wasn't. I I wasn't. I I wasn't. I I wasn't. I I I I wasn't. I wasn't. I I wasn't. I I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't th. I wasn't thin, you thin, you thin, you know, you know, you they. I wasn't se. they. they. I wasn't se. I wasn't bit more, it's difficult to have it, she can get a little bit,
she can get to 10 quicker than I can get to 10.
I'm not saying I don't get to 10 out of 10 stress, but she can get there quicker.
And the girls were shouting, she was in the car, get stressed and then before they got the seat
it on, they both lea' and whispered over and whisper over and whisper over and whisper over and whispered over and whispered over and whispered over and whispered over and whispered over and whispered over and whispered over and whispered over and whispered their to whispered to whispered in their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to 10. either side. Breathe girl, breathe my girl. There's nothing more annoying than
when you're trying to be chill someone going yeah just breathe just just breathe
so I've been doing that and then I've told you I've got to go to school for Roman day.
Yeah I'm so excited I'm in for the whole day for that I'll let you know
that goes in a toga in a toga well yeah Lou's got bought me a toga it's gonna be cold has she yeah
Yeah because they got dressed up but it's hard like they did a Victorian day the other day
I saw in another year that's more effort no no not really because you could just wear a suit with a little bit of a oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm in a picture I'm like in a picture I I'm like I I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like in a the the I'm like I'm like in a the I'm like I'm like in a the I'm like I'm like in a the I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like in a the I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm I'm like I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm like I'm I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm like I I I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like in I'm like in I'm like in a the I'm like in a the I'm like in a the I'm like in a the the I'm like in a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I'm like I'm like in I'm like I'm like I'm like in a bed sheet. Can I ask a question Rob? Yes. At what point you're going to change
into the toga? On arrival or are you going to drive there in a togu? I'm going to have to have
it in a bag and put it and when I get in there go to the toilet. I make sure I definitely go to the staff visit or visitor to toilet and not to the child's a child. And slip. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. Soe. toe. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Are. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, toe. So, the the the the toe. the the the the toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. So, toe. So, toe. So, toe. So, toe. So, to about I've got to run a stool all day because it said morning or afternoon and we said we're available for both
and I thought they'd give us one I'm doing a full shift.
Oh mate what's stool are you running?
I don't know what I thought I said I'll do it with you Lou assuming we'd get a
stool when it was like crafts or something and then I thought Lou could
thou to do that and I'll just do a the their Lou their Lou they Lou they Lou th and I thus. thus. they Lou thus.
Lou could do that and I'll just do a bit of banter. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, of course. Just do it at groundwork, but I've got a feeling I'm gonna be like
try to make some Roman bread or something with eight kids all screaming at me and I'll just lose a
plot and fuck off. I mean, yeah, because I want to see how my daughter I don't care about the rest of you. I've got an issue of the school toilet. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. I. I, Rob. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the try, the the try, try, the try, the try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try and try and try and try try and try try and try to try try try try to try the toilet when I go to pick up my daughter.
That's odd, because then you're like the man who comes in, every time he comes to pick her up,
he goes for a piss in the school toilet. That's an anxiety thing that is.
Well it's because I'm always on a rush to get out and it's a 20 minute drive. And so by that point, I'm like, oh God, I've built up the need up up up up up up up up up up the need the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that thi. that that that that thi. thi. thi. the man, the man, the man, the man, the man, the man, the man, the man, the man, the man. the man. the man. the man. the man. the man. the man. the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that thi. that that that that that thi. that thi. thi. thi. thi. So you go to a piss every time you pick it five times a week?
No, not every time.
You're doing 10 pisses in a school.
No, I'm not doing 10 drop-offs, obviously.
She's ill today, so that's two pieces avoided.
So it's eight pissed this week?
Uh, well, no, Rosales Friday pick up, it's never drop off. Never drop off, always pick up, right? But I fear exactly what you've pointed out, what I was hoping you'd say is, no, they're
never going to notice you go for a piss every time, but what you've done is straight
away you've absolutely identified my fear. A million percent and even more so because
you're off the telly. Oh God. Do you know that Josh Whitakum's kid goes to school? Yeah, oh what's he like? You work on reception. A bit old really, seems a nice blowbet. Every time he goes into the toilets?
I think he's either got a coke problem or he's a pedophile. Or both?
So this is why your technique, right? So what you do is you need the way you can't change
that. So you come out the toilet in front of the receptionist, you go and rub your nose.
So you're like, right, new it, coke head, classic, TV, right? Rub your nose.
And then you come out and then you say things like, God, I tell you who's beautiful these Isn't Judy Dench beautiful and just all of the older famous women.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think Miriam Margulies have got something about her as well.
They're actually.
Exactly.
That's too much.
Oh, okay.
I think if you're pretending to have a coke out and then complimenting older women,
I think getting a bit, that's a little bit lad.
I love to have sex with Zoe, want to. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. to to to to th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old. the old. the old. the old. the old. the old. the old. the old. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to thea. the a bit that's a little bit lady a bit of a bit I love to have sex with Zoe you want to make
no don't say you love to have sex with no one ever had sex that said that I'd
love to have sex with with so I think that's your options Josh on the
okay so let you see how you get with that all all that that works I'll let you know also so oh this this this this this this this this this this this th this th th th th th th th this th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th is th is thi tho tho tho tho th that. All right, I'll see how that works.
I'll let you know. Oh, so, oh, this keeps happening. You know, sometimes when my daughter's a bit busy
with school and stuff and stuff and she's like, a bit restless in the night, and you can hear him,
and like, I'm like, making noise. And then she's, oh, that. And I just have to lay with her. And it's so knacker in Josh. And then me and Lou do shifts,
but she's sort of half asleep, half awake,
I don't know what's going on.
How long for?
Sometimes it could be a little while like,
and in the end we've got,
giving her a bath to sort of just like snap her out of it.
Just to sort of get her, just, to get, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, to, the, to, the, to, to, to, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, thus, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, tho, thi, the, the, oh that, my foot's itchy or aching and kicking around and all that and he lay in there and he sort of, and then just it goes on for ages
and then I did it the other night and then she'd gone back to sleep but I
stayed there for an actually like 20 minutes just like looking at my phone
like one ear pod in like an like an Uber driver like right now and then I've the the the thirty thou to th and th and th and th and to th and to th and th and th and to th so so so th so th so th is like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the the the the th so. the th so I'm th so. So. So. So. So like th. So like like th. So like like th. So like to to to to to to their so. So. So, like a they, like a they, like a they, like th. so I was. so I was. so I was. so I was. so I was. so I was. So. So. So, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. they. So, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it's like two in the morning by an hour and just get into the door. And she went, daddy?
And part of me just wanted to be like, because you want to be kind and just want to go, yeah,
she's there's nothing wrong with you, just going like to fucking sleep, and like that.
And I was getting ready to sort of, like, to tell you know, and I was like, I've giv-a, I've given, I've give, I've give, I've give, I've gi, I've just, I've just, I've just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just kind, I've there, I've just kind, I've just kind there, and I've just, and I've just, and I've just, and I've to be kind th. And to be kind to be kind to be kind to be kind to be kind to be kind to be kind to be kind to be kind, and kind, and kind, and kind, and kind, and kind, and kind, and kind, and kind, and kind, and kind, and kind, and kind, and I've just, and I've just, and I've just, and I've just, and I've just, and I've just, and I've just, and I've just, like, like, thing to put on her then there was nothing wrong with it you know and then she went daddy
and I was like getting ready to sort of tell her not to tell her off but be a
bit harsh and she just went thank you to hold over I went to I've never felt
more guilty in my life I was like you god oh god oh god
oh god oh god
oh god oh oh god Daddy. You know that? It's brutal. But yeah, that was that was last night, so we're a bit tired today.
What's going on?
Christmas trees up, Christmas, everything's up, Christmas, White.
Tree up.
We would do it first to November if we could, but we've been a bit busy so we've done it
third week.
You've got the day of recording. You love Christmas.
Why deprive yourself for a couple of weeks of it being cozy and lovely in your house?
Don't worry. I listen to the Christmas music on the way to school. When I don't
with my daughter. I can't. Oh, I can relax now. Yeah, yeah. Well the woods. We've got, we have fake trees. Of course you do. We spoke about this.
That's why stiff neck, loose neck,
Christmas tree divide.
Yeah, but it just, I just think,
like if you had a real one, it wouldn't,
you can't put it up now, it'll die.
But it's just.
that one year, And are you excited about Christmas? I am actually.
What do you want for Christmas, Rob?
What do I want for Christmas?
Nothing really.
We're not, we're not, we're not buying,
I think it's too much, I think it's too much.
And it's too expensive.
So not only is it a lot of money, everyone and also like guilt draining where they get me something oh bloody oh they're coming around and they always get us something we've got to get
them something oh bloody hell but they've got they've got a load of money and
they'll get me something shit if that will cost me too much and all that
so we in our family we don't buy the adults presence anymore that
that's nice we just get it for the kids because I've got four brothers that they're all got partners and all got kids. Like, it's insane. We don't buy any
adults any presents, we get the kids presents, the grandkids, so they'll get a
present from each family, so I'll get my niece and nephew present each and stuff
like that. And then we sort of all get something for the grandparents because otherwise no one's get, you know, because they'll stuff like that and me and Lou will get each other something but we
might we might we might just go away in the new year and not get a present
for each other oh yeah nice yeah and because it's my birthday in January
as well so it's like I don't I'm not really a present guy yeah it's just I just
don't really want anything wrong do you know what I mean to. Do you know what I mean like why you the the the time I the the time I time I time I the time I time I time I the time I time I the the the the time I time I the time I the the time I the the the to to time I ti to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I thi. I thi. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I Time. Just want some time back. That's all. But do you know what I mean? Like why am I waiting for someone to buy me a book that I can buy myself? I could buy some
socks, Rob. It's a middle age thing, isn't it? Yeah, I think it gets. I think when you're
like younger, so if you're like kid or you're like early 20s and you're a bit skinned or whatever. that stuff's like thi their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to buy. I's to buy. I to buy to buy to buy to buy to buy to buy to buy to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. their toooooooooooooooooo. too. tooo. toe. toe. toe. apart from me unless someone goes oh I've just bought you a two-week holiday
for your entire family yeah I'll take that yeah that be quite handy but really
actual individual gifts and stuff like that is not really and it's hard now
because you can't buy anyone a DVD it's really hard to get people a present the death of DVD and CD has fucking destroyed me.
It's like, God, it used to be so easy.
Just go to HMV and fucking smash it.
Yeah, so easy to wrap as well.
You can get like five for 25 quid or something.
You know them cheap ones, like they go, oh you like this is a classic.
It's back to the future. There you go.
Merry Christmas. Yeah. you want something physical as your gift.
I don't want a month of Netflix.
I'm buying clothes for people's always a lotter in it.
Oh, just write it off.
Yeah, just fucking right it off.
Here's 50 quid. I was going to get you some trainers, but it's no point.
When someone hands over, something and I know it's going to be clothes I think why have you done this to us? Or a scarf? Oh who wears scarf and part from old people that are
about to die? Yeah I do not need a fucking scarf mate. My neck's never been
cold. Well speak for yourself obviously I've got neck problems Rob I could
do. Oh yeah it's absolutely falling apart your neck to know I'm I think that's what my beef is so it's like I'm just shoulders and head. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm just th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. th. th. I'm th. th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. S. S. S. S. I'm t. S. S. I'm t. S. S. I'm t. S. S. S. I'm t. S. I'm t. S. S. I'm t. S. S. I'm t. S. I'm t. I haven't got much of a net but I think that's what my beef is so it's like I'm just shoulders and head so there's nothing to round it's almost
like a chin chin scarf but but yeah I think try and have a honest discussion
with family and go should we just not buy adults presents because if I had
to buy adults presents right that's 11 adults, just my mom and dad and brothers. So even if you spend 20 quid on each, that's like what, 240 quid or 220 quid?
It's not even the money, it's the kind of when you spend it and you know that they don't want
a fucking scented candle. Those presents for people that aren't like really close to you are just punts.
Oh those boots three for two, get a lynx for him, get a dove set for her and get a bath
bomb for a kid. There you go. Josh I did take very middle class the other day.
Yeah, come over to the dark side Rob. Right. I like sourdough bread, right? You've fucking changed. I have. Don't give me wrong. I do like a bit of like a white white the the the the the the white tha white tha white tha th. Like a white th. Like a white th. Like a white th. Like a white th. Like a white th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. changed. I have. Don't give me wrong, I do like a bit of
like a white bit of hovis with a bacon sandwich in the morning, but if I'm having toast,
it's sourdough for me. I've completely converted. And, but I find it goes off a bit sometimes,
isn't it, the salad dough, you've got to keep on top of it or freeze it. I've bought a bag that you put the salad. to they. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm the the the thage. thage. thage. thage. the the tho. thage. the tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thage. thi. thage. It's tha. It's the tha. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha. tha. tha. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's tha. It's tha. It's tha. It's tha. tha. tha. tha. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tha. tha. tha. tha.'t go off. Like a bread box but a bag. Apparently you should put it a bag and don't go off. What are you doing? Staying up at midnight watching QVC?
No, it was just in the shop.
It was next to the sourdough, they know what they're doing.
It was a maraudet. It's a bag.
You've been absolutely fucking done, thi. It's a bag, isn't a tha. their. their. their. their. their. their. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to. to. to. to. to. toing. toing. toing. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. t t t t t t t t together. together. together. together. together. together. t together. today. today. today. today it's meant to be stale. So you just have it stale?
It's after day two, you're not meant to enjoy it wrong.
You just meant to desperately get to the end of it,
cutting it like it's a piece of rock with a knife.
Remember, I cut it all up, straight off and stick it in the freezer and then just,
it tastes just as good if you put it in to the to frozen. Oh here we go here we go. Do you not do that? No. He's
long you just thrown away half a loaf of bread. I'm never thrown it away
you just have it stale. Fucking fighting my way to the end.
It's so it's too hard when you buy it's too hard when you buy a to the to buy a to buy a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the the to to to to to to their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the toa. the the the toa. the the toe. toe. toe.'s too hard, it's too hard generally. French sticks as well, they're, they're shelf-like, shelf-arts getting sure.
You buy a French stick, I pick it up warm in the shop,
get home 5 p.m. that day, we might as well use it as a javelin, rock hard. I think a French stick that's too thin. I'm gonna say it. I their thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I said it. I don't think they're any good.
There's too much crust, not enough middle bit.
No, I don't eat the middle bit.
I take it all out.
What?
So, if I have a bit of French dick, I'll scoop out the bread
and throw the dough in the bin.
What?
And just eat the best bit? I don't like that. Send it my way.
I could like it.
Pop it in a jiffy bag and send it to me, mate.
It's horrible.
It's all doughy and horrible.
We should go and buy French sticks together.
I'll enjoy the middle.
You could enjoy the outside. No, not for me. Also, Josh, I'm thinking of buying a van. Don't. Why?
Because it's too on brand.
It's too...
No, but I just think I've always got to take stuff down the dump.
The kids are all mess.
You can't buy a van.
To take stuff to the dump.
No, but there's always something coming or going or boxes got to go somewhere or got to
get this, we got to get the bikes in to go to the park, the dogs in.
I just think a little, a nice one, you can get ones that are nice.
Have you bought a barber yet?
You are such a country squire?
Have you bought a barber jacket. I've got a... I give it six months. I won't be surprised if Lou buys you on for Christmas. I've got a hiking boots which I never thought I don't. Yeah for my walks in the country so.
No, not wellies I can't go that far. Also, well he's don't, it's so uncomfortable
wellies, just wear a pair of boots. How deep you're going? Have you used any bail a twin? Have you used any bail a twiin? W. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. their their th. their their thin. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I I I I I I I I I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's bailer time? It's the string that they use for hay bales that in the country is used for all kinds of tying up activities.
That sounded like you want to make it. But no I've got a long loophole, a long
rain's jacket which is a proper waterproof jacket for dog walks which just goes over the
top of stuff. So yeah I quite enjoy wearing a, I've already got into waterproof stuff on Goretex.
Oh my God.
Because before you should just have wet feet.
You really get 30s, Rob.
I know, but I like being dry.
What can I say?
I feel like you're actually an older person than me
since you've moved to the country.
You're buying a van to go to the tapapapap the dogs. I know, but I just don't have something where you can get.
I feel like when you've got a van, anything's possible.
Like when you're driving along and you see stuff on the side of the street, you go,
that's cool, isn't it?
I'm going to stick it in the van.
What the fuck are you going to, you're cruising around with a van picking up shit from people's pavements.
I like, I just, I just like the idea of having a van.
That the kids, throw all the kids in and if you get one with like the two, like the two, like,
if you have one with like the front seats and the back seats and the back seats, you can get like a six seat or a seat almost. th. It it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. I. I. I. I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a the the the the the the the the the the AV man's got a nice one but it looks like a nice it's all like leather seats and comfy and it's got a nice thing it ain't like a dirty old van it's a nice the big boot essentially
yeah so I'm tempted to it a van you're getting a van I'm gonna buy a van I'm gonna buy
that I'm gonna go center parks with the van yeah double nightmare
I could start doing boot sales again I like boot sales. Oh my God. We just do a small business shout out, don't we? Yes, I should also shout out the Ivo Graham of his parish as they say. He's doing a charity gig.
The money's going to great cause and it's an incredible lineup. It's at the Indigo O2, isn't it?
For the MS charity. It's Tuesday the 28th. Some Nerve it's called Some Nerve the 28th of November. Some Nerve it's called Some Nerve the 28th Mays the Adams on Rosie Jones Joe Wilkinson
Burnton Brady Michael Odawaley Finn Taylor's on as well. Finn Taylor
Sakisa it's gonna be great go along to that 28th of November at the Indigo too that is for
charity. Great line up. The reason Ivo does that is his mom has MS and he ran a marathon or pushing her along recently. Yeah he pushed her in the the the the wheelchair in in the wheelchair in the wheelchair in the wheelchair in the wheelchair in the wheelchair in the wheelchair in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. I I. I. I was. tho. tho. tho. thooooooo. thoooo. to. to. to. thoooo. thooo. th. I. I was. I was. he, with a, or the half marathon, or pushing her along recently? Yeah, he pushed her in the wheelchair as he rang a marathon the mad bastard.
Yeah, good on him. Someone wants to be the favorite son. Okay. Right, here we go.
Hello, Rob and Josh, long time, listen, the first time email her. I've just opened a book
shop with an event space in Shorem by accident. Oh, thethe rope walk? Have you done the rope walk? Yes, I have. Not sure I'm in Kent, by the way, which I went there first by accident.
We have a small children's section with a pay-it-forward scheme, allowing customers to donate to our underfunded school libraries.
The shop is called Chapter 34 and can be found on Instagram at Chapter 34 books, and the 34.
Thanks from Kelly 45, mom to a 28 year old stepdaughter
17 year old boy 15 year old girl and step Nana to Freddy age 2 good on you
Kelly get yourselves to chapter 34 books insurum by C. Hi I I'd scan down Rob
this was the first I looked at and I thought it's got to be this one. Yeah I would love
it if you could do a small business shout out
for my friend Ellie Evans.
It's called peaceful pet passing.
And it's for all pet owners who know,
our furry friends can have a limited time with us.
Ellie is a fully qualified vet,
and she and another vet friend realized there was a need
for a special at home euthanasia service, allowing loved pets to have a peaceful goodbye in familiar surroundings and with family.
They can tailor each case to needs, all pets, stroke animals covering Berkshire, Wiltshire,
and Hampshire, W.W.W.W.W.P.P.P.P.P.
Peecea.
Thank you, from Alicia.
Lovela.
Joshua, I'll see you we go, Rob. Lovely stuff. Joshua, I'll see you next week. I'll see on Friday,
Rob, this week. Oh yes, of course. See on Friday. See on Friday for another bloody guest.
Bye. Andy Bush here from Guestamators. The brand new game show where guest work beats Google.
Join me, our resident quizmaster Statman Matt, and a celebrity guest as we dive into
the brains of the great British public.
Statman, what sort of questions have we been asking?
Well Bush, here are some of my favorites.who's the best Irish person?
Which finger would you chop off if you had to?
And how many human-sized corgis could Prince William beat in a fight? To play along at home and listen to the podcast just visit guest estimators.com. I think I chop off my left little finger by the way.
Hi my name's David. Here we go. Can't do it. So we're trying to do a advert for our, yeah,
for Chatterbix. Hello, my name's Joe Wilkinson and I do a podcast with David Allen and it hasn't got a thing.
Chatterbyx is a podcast magazine and chat show isn't it? We're on three times a week we have loads of guests, special guests, surprise guests. Natalie Cassid is on regularly. Yeah, loads of
people, loads of people. Andy Goldstein. Yeah. Okay can I read some of the
highlights? Yeah. Interviewing a red arrow pilot? Chattanooga, chatting with Ricky
Javais, Harry Hill, James Acaster and Catherine Ryan amongst others. Visiting a haunted house. That was creepy. the thaughed th. th. th. th. th. th. thine, thine, thine, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, tho, their, loa, loa, loads of tho, loads tho, loads of tho, loads of th. Loa, loads of th. Loa, loads of th. Loa, loads of th. Loa, loads th, loads th, loads th, loads th, loads th, loads th, loads th, loads th, loads th. Loa, loads th. Loa, loads th. Loa, loads tho, loads thu, loads tho, loads tho-a, loads thi, loads of thi, loads of thi, loads of thi, loads of tho-a, loads of tho-a' tho-a' thoanananan, loads of people tho-a' thoa' thoa' thoa'noa'. Backstage at the Blur concert at Wembley.
And I met my hero, Angie Rochard, and I'm not ashamed to say, I cried.
That's Chattavix on all the regular channels.
Cheers.
CH-A-T-A-T-A-X.
Chattavix.
Well done, Joe. Thank you. That's our promo. Good bye.