Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP38: Kimberley Nixon

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant actress - Kimberley Nixon. Follow Kimberley on instagram @realkimberleynixon Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. And I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha th hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice, and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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What's Rob Beckett? And can you see Josh Whitacum? What's Josh Whitacum? Oh. I think that's an interesting accent, Rob. That sounded stateside. Canadian. This is my three-year-old son Henry's effort with your names

Turns out he's not that familiar with your work. He's eight-month-old brother Alex may be too little to have a go But did contribute some backing vocals love the pod thanks for the laughs Margaret from Alberta Canada Montreal Canada. Oh? Oh, oh my word. So close. So close. Tanks for the best we've ever done in it. Yeah, really impressive. Why did that come into my head, Alberta Canada? But I mean I sort of just that guest of the Canadian scene. Where is Alberta? I've never been to Canada. Have you done that Montreal Festival? No, I haven't actually. I did the one in Australia that's run by the same people, just for laughs it's called. It's just loads of short spots. Yeah. Yeah. It's to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the their the thi. thi did the one in Australia that's run by the same people just for laughs it's called. It's just loads of short spots. Yeah so it's just a cool 4,000 kilometers away from each other. Oh my god no wonder you made that mistake it's just so close. Just over the border of Ontario the border of Manitoba, the border of

Manitoba, the border of Sakatuan, and then you get to Alberta. Alberta, yeah, so just, I'd say what, probably about four hour flight away? Yeah, just so close. Are you aware of the comedian James Mullinger, Rob? Yes, UK guy went to Canada and he's got massive in Canada, didn't it? It's got massive in Canada. And I watched some of his stuff, All the stuff is so local that I don't understand any of it. So it's just sort of like an English guy take the piss out of it. But you'll literally be naming streets in Canada and people are going fucking mental for it.

Oh, hang on, hang on Washington. Washington. Is Washington... Where's in America? There we go. There we go. I know the mistake you're making. Washington. Scratching his head. the Washington, near Seattle in the North? Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington? Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington? Washington. Washington? Washington? Washington. Washington. Washington? Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington? Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. Washington. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. W. There. There. It. It. There. W. There. There. It. There. W. There. There. There. W. There. There. There. There. There. W. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. He's Washington near Seattle in the northwest of America. Rob? Yes. Look at the panic in your eyes. Hang on where is the president? I thought the president was near New York and East Coast. What's that place over there? Do you want me to tell you? Please? Washington State is where Seattle is but Washington Washington D.C. is on the East Coast. You're shitting me. So what state is Washington DC in? I don't know.

Is it a state of its own or is it in? Yeah, it's a district of Columbia. It's a district of Columbia. Holy fuck. Everything's fallen apart. It's in its own tiny little district. Yeah, it's in a district of Columbia. So is that not a state? No, I suppose. So it's Washington's like an area, Wichington DC is a district of Columbia. This is mental. And then that's in Maryland? I don't think it's in a state, is it?

Delaware, oh my God, I was not part of any state. It's a sort of separate body of power that's created. All right, but who turned you into fucking Captain Donald Trump, knowing all about America here, Michael? How do you know this? I love America. I was in New York a couple of weeks ago. Did I say Donald Trump went to the UFC that I was at? Oh did he?

I have never heard such a big cheer for anyone entering arena. He walked in with Kid Rock and Dana White and they were playing American Badass, the Kid Rock song. I've been to loads of events in my time. I've been to the Super Bowl. I've seen Romesh loads of events in my time. I've been to the Super Bowl. I've been seen Romash. I've seen Romesh live in Crawley. I saw you do the 99 Club to eight people back in 2011. Honestly I've never heard such a noise and also I thought that fair enough if it was in like the deep south but New York's supposed to be a bit

more I know it's the UFC UFC though isn't it Rob. But yeah it was mental th, th, th, th, it was mental th, th, it was mental th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I was mental, I was mental, I was mental, th, I'm th, th, th, th, th, tho, I's thi, tho, tho, tho, I've tho, I've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho, I's tho, I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th, I's th, I's th, I's th, I's th, I's th, I's the the thi, I's the thi, I'm the the thi, I'm thi, thi, the thi. I've tho-I'm tho-. But yeah it was mental. Do you like Kid Rock? You're a Kid Rock fan though? I'm not really a kid rock fan though. I'm not really a kid rock fan though. It's not really. I used to like him. I've listened. I've listened. I'm gonna like, I think. I'm sure. the man. Washington is a the last. the last. the last. the last. the the the the th. I's. I's. I's. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I'm. I've. I've. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I yeah, yeah, it's absurd. On the map, Washington is bigger over by Seattle than it is the other side. Wait till I tell you, there's a Boston in Lincolnshire, Rob. It's gonna blow your fucking mind. There's a Glasgow in Montana. There you go. When you've got a big place like tell you what, Manhattan in Kansas looks fucking shit. I thought Washington DC was shit when I went, I hated it.

There you go, I've said it. Why did you go there? Sorry, I've got a cough. Oh, is that what they are? Sorry. Next time you do that, you should go, sorry, I just can't stop sneezing. Yeah, just come. just to see if anyone reacts? Bless me. But, uh... Bless you. Oh, you don't sound well, Josh.

Just come. Sorry about that, keep a jack-claim. Anyway, why don't you about Washington? We were going around America when I was like 21. Six weeks in America. Sure. We're doing like East Coast, New York, Boston, Chicago. I know it's more into it, but yeah,

that kind of route. Then we did Washington, D.C. Everything that you've seen on TV is in the space of 100 yards. Right. We were there for like three days and we were done in like 20 minutes. And then is one of those places, a bit like, I mean, LA's not as extreme but it's slightly like that where everyone's there for work rather than because they want to live there. No that is exactly what Cambrus like in Australia because it is for the government everyone there's

working it's really all work buildings. Yeah exactly. Right okay. I'd say I don't know how many listeners we've got in Washington DC. Few ex-Bahe Biden maybe. Michael I'll find out another time. But I'm I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, the, th. the, the, th. the, the, th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea,.C.? Joe Biden maybe? Michael will find out another time. But yeah, no, I find whenever I do go traveling, I sort of do about three hours of sightsee and then just go and get pissed somewhere. It's quite bleak, actually, isn't it? It is quite bleak, actually. But there we go man then. When I look at an American map I'm like, oh right, so that's where that place is that I've heard of a million times. I know the geography of America

so badly. Well I think our generation, because of the American pop culture and movies and TV and friends and stuff like that, dominated our childhood years so much that I am obsessed of America to a point it's almost weird. We just are because that's what we brought up on. Yeah, totally. That's why. Like there's Scranton, isn't that where the office is set? It's near New York? I had no idea. Oh, anyway. Do we have a quick bit of correspondence before we bring on Kimberley... There's a Peterborough in Canada? There's a peatr-a-a- Canada. The excitement there for that. We'll do his correspondence, but our guest today, Kimberly Nixon, absolutely brilliant. She's very funny, talented actress and person. So I knew Kimberly from fresh meat and a few other TV acting jobs and stuff like that, but

I wasn't fully aware of how popular she's become on Instagram and the subject matter because she's got a boy she'll talk about, but also she had quite full-on postnatal depression through sort of OCD intrusive thoughts by stuff. And she's really honest about it, but also very interesting and very funny, but we also, in this episode, talk about that, but it goes very base level where we talk about Willies, the fannies and massive shiots. So it's a real double-edged sword. There's something for everyone. There's something for everyone. What you're offering here, Rob, is what is known as a double trigger warning. Yeah, it's almost like, this is, if you combined an interview of Kimbley that she would have done for FHM magazine and then news night, you would get an interview better combination.

Yes, exactly. And that's how we operate. If you don't want to to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear to hear their to hear, to hear, to hear, their, to hear, to hear, their, their, their, to hear, their, to hear, to hear, their, to hear, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, their, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Rob, th. Rob, th. Rob, th. Rob, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Rob, thi. Rob, thi. Rob, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, if th or OCD, that's your trigger warning. I want to hear about that all the time. Yeah of course you do. Dix fanies a mental health. That's exactly. Dix fanies are mental health. Bloody hell that's just a day might. You're a bumper play isn't it? Yeah dick's daddy's a mental health. Just quickly, 77 people listen in the District of Columbia. I wonder whether they're Brits who are covering the American. Anyway, shout out you, love it. Get that 200, we'll come and do a small art space for a live show for you. We'll just have to double, we'll send out a link, we'll make sure when you're all available.

You know them little calendar things people sent for a school, parent drinks. Yeah. Anyway, to stay around for Kimberly Nixon it was one of my favorite episodes to find it so interesting and really funny. Now Josh, this is a positive car crush story that you wanted. I love the way he said stay around for Kimberly Nixon as if people are going to go, I only listened to the first ten. What's when the guest comes on. So this is basically from Tom and Claire in Epsom, Josh. Yeah. Okay. And then one day Tom was in Froman Somerset and was rushing to get to a gig.

Claire, pre-meeting each other, was on her way to babysit her sister. Having only passed my test a month earlier, I had music on too loud and forgot, you have to look both ways at junction. Pulling out straight into Claire who was driving past. Crushed straight into the side of her car which needed a new door and she was a bit shaken up but I got a number off a mutual friend and sent her a message a couple of months later. Now we're married with two little ones. Wow. Needless to say the wedding had a lot of car, crush-related paraphernalia and jokes. Our kids, Mia, who is 47 months, and Alfie, who is 17 months.

We love the podcast and hope you enjoy the story. Tom and Claire from Epsom. Superb, stop. They met in a crash. Do stick around for Kimbly, Nixon. Last one, and then we'll get the old Nixon on. On the recent episode with Scarlet Moffat, you asked about me nicknames, listeners have been given as kids. I'm one of eight kids, all born within 11 years. Jesus, absolutely. What? Sex bastards, your parents? Anyway, my horrible grandma used to come and stay for months at a time.

A cold woman with absolutely no loving her whatsoever Love it I think old people get too much of an easy ride if they're being dicks call them out That's what I say this person this is one of eight kids It has got this cold grandma that comes and stays are they are Victorian? Because if it feels like well, no, I don't know respect your elders What if your elders are on shipment? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, anyway, she called my oldest sister, the big pig, because she ate a lot. Fak it out.

One of my brothers, the wee-wee man, because he wet the bed. Oh, I thought she was Scottish for a bit, that's horrible. Fucking out. She's like something from the roll-down. The wee-wee man, and another brother's spaghetti, because he was skinny. I suppose one could argue that she said it how it was. Some of us got off lightly though, myself included, I was the Irish beauty. Keep up the good work from Anna, not bothered about anonymity. She's long gone. Cold, cold woman. Oh my God. And if she's up there looking down on us hearing this, you should be fucking ashamed of yourself, you miserable bitch.

I imagine she's down there looking up if anything. Right, here is Kimberly Nixon, enjoy. Stick around. Kimberly Nixon, welcome to the show. Thank you very much for doing this. Thanks so much for having me. I'm very excited. Well, we were just saying, we had loads of people requesting you from your Instagram stuff. Obviously we know you as an actress from fresh meat and stuff like that, but your Instagram sort of is moaning about your kids the right

thing or just talking about them? Who are we to judge? I mean people in glass houses. Yeah, no, so it's probably like my family just email and the hell out of you trying to get me some exposure. Yeah, no, I started my Instagram. Going on a year after I had my little boy suffering quite badly with post-natal mental help, I started an Instagram and then I started being honest and then it kind of ran away from there. That being honest stuff people really like, and would you call yourself? Because Josh, I don't know if this other day I got tagged in something saying about we're parent influences oh we well yeah and is that what you are now Kimberly is absolutely no one should

be looking at us like frightening it is frightening is it is really worried can give the listeners a run down what's set up at home how many kids you got what's what's the school I mean don't be meant I'm not like breeding everywhere I have I've got just one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one the the the one is is is is is is the one is the one is the one is the one is the one is the one is the one is the one is the one is the one is the one is the one is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is is is the is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the one is the one the one the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the is is is is is set up at home? How many kids you got? What's the score? I mean, don't be men. I'm not like breeding everywhere. I've got one. Just the one boy. He's just him three a couple of weeks ago. He's been dog two cats. Do you cats and dog get together? Do they get on? They sort of get on? The cats were here first? So the dogs very much? Oh, it's like. Get? to get? to get? to get? to get? their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to get together in the evening? Do they get on? They sort of get on. The cats were here first, so the dog is very much... Oh, it's like Beckett. Even though she's like 50 times bigger than them, she knows where she is in the peck in order. So the cat's the boss. Yeah, I mean they're frightening. They're absolutely, I'm sorified. Cats are so hard to figure out, aren't they they they they they they A loofe! They're so cool and a looof and a dog is so the opposite of that. Like I've popped the shot to get milk or

something and it's like I've come back from war for my dog, where my cat, as soon as I'm dead, will start eating me. Yeah, I struggle with cats. I think cats as kittens are the cutest. I thatkn't thrown. I'm their their their their their their thi. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. that. I'm toe. I'm thi. I'm toe. I'm toeat. I'm thi. I toeat. I toeat. I tooooooomk. I to get to get to get to get to get to get to to get to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their to get to get to get. I'm to get. I'm to get. I'm to get. I'm toe. I's. I's. I'm toe. I'm tog. I'm toge. I'm toge. I'm toge. toge. I'm c. tooe. I've tooeat. I've tooeat. I've tooeat. I've tooeat. I've tooeat. I'm tooe. I know dogs are cute, but I think a kitten is so fluffy and cute. And they just sort of sit there being cute rather than running around mad like a dog. That's how they get you. And then they grow up and you're like, that is not the cat I married. And then you want a divorce. The center path, they will you in with like charm and, but behind the eyes. No nothing they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. theathea. thathea. thathea. thathea. thathea. thathea. thathea. thathea. thathea. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. They. They. They the. I. They the. Ia. Ia. Ia. They're tea. Ia. They tea. Ia. They tooea. They tooea. They're tooea. killer. Oh yeah, well they are serial killers, they just kill. Their main passion is murder.

Start jumping on you before you're called, whereas my dog would loyally go to my grave every day for 50 years. Yeah. Right, okay though, what dog he got? We'll get on to your child. Is that what grave fires Bobby did? Yes. My dog is called Bobby. Oh, there you go exactly very very fire Bobby vibes although I don't think she find it. She's quite stupid, but she the mix of Alsatian, Labrador and Bordaqali Jesus so he's super loyal needs lots of running and is constantly trying to heard things

Like cats yeah, like cats. You're just like as if you're not in now again. So yeah. I know we're here to talk about parenting and we will get on to it. But... No, what are we here for really? What are we here for? Nothing. What are we here for? Yeah. So my kind of feeling on this? Are dogs? It's like you've really got in on this? You've been thinking of this. I really thought about this. It feels feels like the feeling the feeling th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. we. we. we. we. we. we. we. we. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. to. the to. to. the the the the the. th in on this. You've felt like you've been thinking of this. I really thought about this. It feels like you're Charles Darwin going, I think we might have been come from monkeys. I just feel like dogs is too broad. There's too many types of dogs and they're not similar enough to all be the same thing.

You want to streamline the species. I don't think they're all dogs. Joe I agree. If you said a horse was also a cow People who go that's not true, but we're throwing in a fucking sausage dog with a rot viola And saying that the same animal. Yeah, I saw someone walking a dog the other day that I honestly I was sort of a gas Because I couldn't see the point in them even leaving the house with it because it was so pointless. Like it was, it didn't even really have legs, it was so small, like, you're like taking like a ball of yarn out. You're not awkward to it. And then you've got that, and then you've got that, and then you've got that, and then you've got those like... Big dogs. Yeah, you've got ride that and then you've got a dog that someone's carrying in a bag. But Josh you and Antony Joshua are humans. I'd say the sausage dog and the Rottweiler could use you two as an example. Yeah if you put Josh next to Antony

Joshua you'd go there there needs to be different words what those are the size yeah. Yeah you can't call them both homo sapieans that's insane. Yeah then Josh and anti Joshua are the same.. A the same the same. A the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. thosh. the same. thosh. thosh. Just is thosh. thosh. thosh. thosh. thian. thian. thian. thosh. th. th. th. thus. thus. thus. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to th. th. tho. tho. So th. tho. So you th. th. th. yeah Josh and anti-Josua are the same species. Just to be clear for our listeners, Rob isn't talking about race. Oh yeah, Portier. When I say we need another name, I'm a super fit handsome and Anthony Joshua. Yeah, but I do think I've got Whippets and that's again it's all like half cat half dog it's not really a full dog the way they sort of curl up. Super skinny you've got two kids. So I've got two kids they're gonna be eight and six in December two girls and you've got boys three. I've got a boys three so you're you're in a different world to me I think age and sex wise so they're like so they so they so they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can't so they can't they can they can they can they can they can't they can't they're they're they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're to they're to to to to to to to to to to to thy to they they they're they're to they're they're they're they're to they you're in a different world to me, I think, age and sex-wise.

So they can really talk back to you, I imagine? Yes, we've recently spoke about it on the podcast. They've started calling my wife's boobs Milky Bad Boys, because I think it's funny. And it's rude, and it's quite degraded, actually. As a sort of audience member of it, it's very much them directed it at Lou, they don't really know what to say. As the dad is what it sort of feels like three women butting heads and I don't want to get involved and look like I'm sort of... That's bad great odd. Yeah, I just step back and go you're gonna have to fight it amongst yourselves. I don't think I should be mansplaining and then I let them fight out his winkel, his Wilson. So what do you call it because we use bits but people say bits is a bit too childish and you should say what it actually is. You're supposed

to say like penis and vagina. Yeah. There's something quite harsh and clinical about that. I don't know. I haven't got a little girl so it doesn't really apply. But we have a word in Wales, so I live in the Vannies in South Wales. And for a girls bit, it was always a foof. A foof? Yeah, I think the foo's fine. It was always a foof, like my foof or put your foof away or whatever. Put it away? I did that a lot growing up.

And then a thiiahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. a sort of family thing that's happened with my nephews and now my little boy for boys bits is a Wilson and I don't know why. A Wilson? A Wilson yeah. Like the ball and cast away? Willie Wilson is it or just Wilson? It kind of was Willie and then I think my nephew started calling it a Wilson and then... So will he say, say it's sore or for whatever reason? He was like my Wilson's sore. He's not quite thatthat thing. So like if he's out getting out the shower and I'm like towel leaves down and he's a little bit I'll say oh it's a bit chilson on the Wilson you know. Chilson, you know. Certainly he will use the word Wilson. His speech is a speech is a try-son on your Wilson when you get out the shower? As a three-year-old you're probably going, I don't really know what's going on here.

So much there have to be already. He's just found it. He's very much found it now. Josh's boys slightly younger or about the same kind of thing. I heard they get erections as babies. Is this true? It's so weird. It's so weird. I I I I I I I I I I I I I they they they their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to speak. to to speak. to to to to to to to to to speak. I'll to speak. I'll to speak. I'll to speak. I don't to speak. I don't to speak. I don't to to to to to to th. I thea. I thea. I thii. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm to to me to me to me toe. I'm the. I don't the. I don't the. I don't the. I don't th weird. I don't like it at all. I don't know what to do with that stuff. So I'm just a bit like, to my husband, I'd be like, something happening. Is I normally be like, yeah, it's fine. So that'll be like when you're changing nappies. Josh, does your, do the boys get boners, like boners, just like, walker the tho thi. their th, th, th, tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to tho-s, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoo. the the thoooooooooooooooooooo. thoooooo. to to to to to to to, he's in a nappy. The babies get boners. A boner is a strong word. Okay. You say a semi, they'd get a semi. Yeah, I suppose. Don't say semi.

Sorry. Don't say semi. Okay. Half a lob on. No. No. There's a kind of, something's going on down there. Josh, what do your boys call their bits? I've only got one boy and he's, he'd refer to it as his penis. Okay.

Is that weird? No, it was just quite official. You said that like the headmaster of a private sort of bald in school. He would call it his penis. No, I tell you why he'd referred it his penis. I'd tell you why he'd refer to it as his penis. What is that? Because his older sister, they do all the proper terminology at school. Do you know what I mean?

Yes. So that's where that is coming from if that makes sense. Yeah. But what did you say for her bits when she was little before school. I think we said vagina. It's that weird. No, it's what you're supposed to do, but I find it more, I find it funnier, more awkward. What did you say, Rob? We call it shlong and puss-pus, is that wrong?

I'm joking. I'm joking. Kimberly's face. You know what, I can't hand thu. And I can't hun under and I think it's a posh game is front bottom I can't handle. Yeah I don't like that's awful awful. Awful. Well we just use bits we use bits but they know that it's vaginas and penis but we use bits. Do you know what our kids might listen back to this when

they're about 15 and this will be the worst moment of their lives. Let's hope it is because if it is they've had pretty good lives. Your boys sort of he's three now so is he a nursery or is he because he's not in school yet is a year or so away? No but in Wales actually compared to England and Scotland things that they go to school earlier so so he just turns three and really? Really? Yeah. I was that's it. I think it was much later actually. I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. to to to to took. to took. took. to took. took. took. took. took. the. the. that. the. the. thought it was much later actually and I'm joking. Based on the Welsh people that you've met. Yeah, no. Well I'm joking my mother-in-law's Welsh. Very intelligent lady, very intelligent lady. Very intelligent. Most intelligent person I know actually I'd say. Oh yeah. What about your wife? Do I really know her any more? I always feel like we are one. Do you know what I mean? So, you know.

What do you call who the bit? Who lose? Yeah. Would you say vagina? I'd sort of say like, you know, sort of like a good friend from school you've not seen in a while. Sort of like,

No, what would I call lose bits? An acquaintance? I'd say a loyal friend. I wouldn't say how's your and then put a what, you know, it's everybody used, I've never come for a conversation. Did your partner talk about your vagina very often and how would he refer to it? No, I'm not, I wouldn't be like, are you ready to put your penis to use? Like I wouldn't, I don't, yeah. Is your vagina ready? No, okay. You still read your phone? to the phone? the phone? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? thin thine? thine? thine? thine? thine? thine, thine, thi? thi? thi? How, thi? How, thi? How, thi? How's your thi? How's your to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. thi? How, thi? How, thi? How, thi? How, thi? How's thi? How is the? How is the? How is the? How's thooooooo? Howe? Howe? How's the? How's the? How's tho? Lou is your vagina ready? No, okay, you're still reading your phone, fine? No, is it?

Still reading your phone, you're ready? You sound more like a gynecologist, is your vagina ready? It's weird, isn't it? Why do we find it's sort of awkward to talk about as well as sort of all grown-ups? It's mad, isn't it? It's a British thing. Yeah. Can can can can can can can can, can, can? Can, can? Can, can? Can, can? Can, can? Can, can? Can, can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can? Can, th. th. th. th. th. th. tho? th. tho? th. tho? tho? tho? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why, I? Why, I? Why, I? Why, I? Why, I tha? Why a British thing. Yeah. Can I move it off the sex parts? If you want, what do you call your ass, John? I know, I said move it off the sex parts.

Oh, like, here you're a bit of fun. Because you've written and spoken about having OCD. Yeah. What was that like when you then have a child where everything just goes to kind of disorder. Yeah. I didn't know I had O.C. I'm scared. I've had OCD in my whole life, but I didn't know that that's what it was called. I'd never aligned myself with it in that way. You know, from what I'd seen on the TV of OCD, it was things like germophobia or handwashing,

light switch and stuff like that, and I never had any of those those those those those those those those those symptoms those symptoms those symptoms those those never had any of those symptoms so I just didn't sort of ping on my radar that that was might have been what was going on. And then I had my little boy and the birth to him quite traumatic and it was right bang in the middle of COVID. It was October 2020 and what I thought was maybe the baby blues kind of thing you know you sort of expecting didn't really lift and then it just got worse and worse and worse I thought was maybe the baby blues kind of thing, you know, you're sort of expecting, didn't really lift and then it just got worse and worse over the next few months. I wasn't really ticking the kind of postnatal depression boxes, so I got really frightened because I didn't know what was happening to me and what was happening was that my, my mind was constantly risk-assessed in danger around my baby all the time.

I'm getting stuck on it in a cycle, like a stuck CD. I couldn't stop seeing terrible things happening to my baby all the time, like really vivid images. Oh my God. And it was terrifying. It was really terrifying. I'd never heard of it before. I'd never heard of it before. I'd never heard the phrase intrusive thoughts, which is what it turned out to be, and so when the OCD diagnosis came around, it's a like what? No, I don't think so. And then as I learned more about it, a lot of my compulsion, so the C-bit of the OCD, they're the things that you do to try and neutralize the obsessions and their to...., toobs, tooss, to their, tooes, thi, their, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, their, their, thi, their, their, their, too, their, their, too, too, like, their, their, their, their, like, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, like, like, their, their, their, like, like, to their, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I..... is is is is, I.. is, I I. is, I. is, I. is, I. is, I. Oh, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, they. Oh, they. too, they. too, too, too, too, they. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. OCD sufferers it will be things like hand washing or touching their head or little ticks. I did have a few of them I used to click a lot to click away the bad thoughts, bad image and obviously the more you do that the more it

emphasizes to your brain that it's something you need to be wary of, it's a danger. Yes. So it kind of went on for there and I got really, really poorly because I sort of spiraled really. What was you doing when you had the thoughts, you know, you was clicking and stuff, was you trying to organize stuff and control stuff? How was it manifesting if it wasn't the cleanliness or the light switching? the thinnii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. to to th. to to to tooes. th. I was, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be, to be, to be, to be, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, thoooooooooooooooooo.e.e.e.e. Soo. Soo. So, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I my mind, yeah, so I could be changing the baby and then I think to myself, okay don't take your eyes off him for a second because he can roll off the table and then fall onto the kitchen tiles. But instead of just that

being a normal, of course that being a thought that passed through, especially a new parent's head, I became obsessed by it and I would see it. I was constantly seeing two realities. I was seeing what was right in front of me. I was also seeing five seconds into the future all the time and it was the world possible outcome. It was me bathing. It was me bathing him and me looking away for a second and him being under the water or something like that, you know. If I went to sleep, what if something happened to him while I was sleeping? So I want to sleep then, that's an easy fix. That's an easy fix. Yeah. That's that solved. After 10 days of not sleeping, I remember a midwife saying there's a reason that they use sleep deprivation as a sort of torture technique. It's really, really effective and it was, that was it. So then I wasn't sleeping to kind of like where you get rid of a lot of your brain span in your sleep, like your

nonsense thoughts and I was just processing them awake. Oh God, oh no no where. And I was just terrified out of my mind because I'd never heard anybody ever talk about this happening after they'd had a baby. How old was the baby by this point? The trigger was the birth and the baby. So it's right away? Yeah, so I got diagnosed with post-natal OCD which I didn't even know was a thing. I'd never heard there. I didn't even know that was an option. The room service manned alone that you'd wantan and then the OCD postnatal. Yeah, yeah, the post-natal specifically.

I wasn't ticking those postnatal depression boxes, the sort of things that we're more commonly aware of. And it wasn't until the postnatal OCD without knowing it before? Yes. Right. So then suddenly when a full life shifted into perspective and things started to make a lot more sense. Yeah. So before you had the baby, obviously, so when it really kicked into sort of an extra

gear because you've got this precious thing that you're responsible for, how was it manifesting before? Was it sort of like through like job roles or if I don't get there for that goes wrong? Was it would you having these intrusive thoughts about more different type of things? At the time it sort of seemed to I'd have little bad patches and I think it's also hormonally linked I think women with OCD find that it gets much worse around their period and th and th and th and th and th, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was thi, was thi, was thi, was thi, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, was thi, was thi, thi, the throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, was th birth is like the ultimate hormone plummet so it's funny to do that but it would just be I was constantly what they call mental reviewing and I've got a really good memory so I would have a conversation with somebody or and one tiny little sentence or bit or facial expression or image or something would

stick in my mind and that would be it for about three weeks. I'm constantly playing that over and over and try to fix it and obviously then what happens is your brain kind of gets bored with that and starts to maybe they said this and maybe they meant that. And so everyone gets intrusive thoughts everybody does, everybody, you know, you're you know you're on the motorway and a driving and you're like you're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just.... to the the. I I I I I I I the the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And the th. I th. I the thi. I the the the the the thi. the the the thi. thi. thi. And th., you're just swirf. You're not going to do it. Or jump in front of a tube, that kind of thing. All the time. When I was in London all the time, I was a tube was coming in. I'd be like, it'd be so weird if I just bit my head forward.

Like I wasn't going to do it. brain. So for some people say the motorway one, it'll be like, oh my God, am I a psychopath? Am I a serial killer and I don't know it? Oh, right. Am I a terrible person? And so they analyze it and they try to find meaning in it where they don't need to. Yeah. And so treatment for OCD is learning to just let those thoughts be there and let happened with my little boy was that after I completely exhausted any danger happening to him, my brain picked up the idea that, yeah, but you can look out for any danger all around him, but what if you're the danger? What if you don't know you're a danger?

Oh my God. What if you sleepwalk and you're a secret serial killer? What if you fall asleep and roll on top of him? What if you sleepwalk and you're a secret serial killer? What if you fall asleep and roll on top of him? What if you snap suddenly and murder your whole family? It was all these things happening. And so how do I keep my baby safe from me when I don't know if I'm a danger? The anxiety in the mind will just constantly evolve even if you go, well that's not gonna happen because I've changed his nappy? The first time you change nappy? It, the, the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's th, it's th, it's thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th.... And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, th, and th, th, th, th, th, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th. What's is is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they. What's thi. What's thi. What's throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. What's they. What's th well, that's not going to happen because I've changed his nappy. The first time you change nappy, everyone's nervous, but for you, it's sort of built up, built up, built up. That's the thing with those CD, it's never enough.

You can never feed the beast enough. And so what you have to learn to do is cut off those compulsion. So for me, mental reviewing, I have to catch myself doing it, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and not, and, to, to, and not, and not, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the be able to sit with the uncertainty so pre-baby maybe that I had upset somebody or I had said something wrong or people were mad at me or whatever the thing was obviously the stakes are much higher with when the baby came along but yeah it was basically learning to completely rewire on my brain since having my little boy. It's not what you need when you're trying to do a night feed is it? Just gonna quickly rewire my my my my my my my my my my my my to to to to the to the to the to the to to their to to to their to their to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. toe. toe. toe.a. toe.a.a. toe.a. to. to need when you're trying to do a night feed, is it? Just gonna quickly rewire my entire way of thinking actually. And milky, what'd you call them, bad boys?

Milky Milky bad boys. I'm just contending with mental turmoil and milky, the bad boys, so yeah. Not ideal. And if anyone is suffering from this or feels like they identify with that, what should they do? For me? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, thi, thi, th, th, to to to to to th, th, th, just, th, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Just, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to me to me to me to me to me to me toeat, to mea. Just, to mea. Just, to mea, toeat, to me to me thi, they identify with that? What should they do? For me, I spent endless, endless hours in the middle of the night googling, looking everywhere to find someone somewhere in the world that was experiencing or had experienced something like me, like I was, and I couldn't, for a very long time, I couldn't find it. And then I did. I found one tiny article on I think an anonymous on the mind website where this woman w w th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi. I thi thi thi. I thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I is is is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is thi. I is thi. I is thi. I is thi. I thi. I the is thin. I the t today today today today today today thin. the thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I then I did. I found one tiny article on I think an anonymous on the Mind website where this woman wrote down her experiences of post-natal OCD and having absolutely terrifying thoughts for their own baby. And then I was like, oh my god. So then I started looking into it more

and realized how common it was. And what you fear when you've got that tiny baby and you're having these horrible, horrible thoughts is if I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I the. I the. I'll thin. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll thi. I'll th. I'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I thin. I thin. I thin. I'll thin. I'll thin. I'll thin. I'll thin. I'll to to to to to thin. I to to to thin. I to to to thin. I to to thin. I thin. I thin. I thin.iny baby and you're having these horrible, horrible thoughts is if I tell anybody, they're going to take my baby away from me. Yes. You're frozen with terror, you don't know what to do for the best. And so I sort of promised myself back in those very dark days if I ever got better, that despite the cringe factor and the embarrassment and the kind of, I mean it's very private stuff but like I wanted some woman to Google in the middle of the night and come across my experience. And so basically I would say, speak to your GP, your midwife, your health visitor. They've heard it all before.

It's just not spoken about as much as post-natal depression. Having scary intrusive thoughts in new parenthood especially or any time around pregnancy is so common and I wish I had known that. I wish I had known that I wasn't this medical freak. And did you speak to your husband about it? I did. Yeah. I think that was a real saving grace for me. It was that me and my husband been together a really long time before we had the baby

because he was IVF. It tooks suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly suddenly.. And I to to th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I wish I wish th. And I wish I th. And I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish. And I that I that I wish I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish. th. th. I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I th. I husband been together a really long time before we had the baby because he was IVF it took years and years and then IV F suddenly worked and I got pregnant February 2020 and then in March my penny the whole world just like blew up. I had a really bad patch in drama school I remember I was watching a play in drama school and this week had popped into my head and I couldn't understand why this thought had popped in and then and then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi took took took th. I th. I th. It th. I th. It th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took thought popped into my head and I couldn't understand why this thought had popped in and then for the best part of the next year all I did was try and solve why I had the store what does it mean about me and I became really poorly whilst also doing my first jobs out of drama which were like Cranford period drama and like the

team films that I did. So I've always wanted to kind of be open with the fact that, you know, you can have OCD and be a kind of, not like a useful person, but, you know, I've worked my whole career whilst having it, I just didn't know that's what I had. Yeah, and you can sort of enjoy your work now rather than to be doing it with that thought repeating in your head? Exactly, because I know what it is now. There's not, it was the fear before, it was the fear of like, what is happening to me? What is happening to my brain? I was perfectly normal yesterday, and now today I've had a baby,

my brain's sort of gone haywire. For example now, say you're out for the day of your boy and you're a of all this and you've got your coping mechanisms, you sort of rewired your brain. Say you're walking along and you're crossing the road to go to the trampoline park like that and then your brain goes, well if you don't get him across the road well enough there's going to be an accident and then even when you get to a trampoample trame park, and it's going to be my my my their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tapole. tape. tape. tape. tape. their tapease tapease. the the the the the the their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tapeananananananaaaaaaaaaaaa tapeana tapeana trampeana trampolema trampolean trampolean trampolea an trampoleaa trampoleaa trampolea taa taa that still come in now and you deal with it or does it not come in? That's the thing I think that when people have post-natal OCD or OCD in general and they have a bad episode of it, what you want to happen because of course you do is you want these thoughts to stop. You want the bombardment to stop so you do anything you can push them away and the more they can. It's like don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the of the of the more the of the. the more the of the of them. the more. the more. the more. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the. the. the. the. the of the. the. the. to to toeateateateateateateateateateateateateateate of toeateate of tooooooooooooooe. toe. toe. to to them away, the more that they can. It's like, don't think of a pink elephant. It's the first image that pops into your head. So it took me a very long time to learn that I can't stop these thoughts coming

as much as I wish I could, I can't. And the more I try that, the worst they come. I have to be able to let them let them let them let them let them let them them let them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them their their their their their their their their their their their their thethem. I have to let them pop in and pop out and whatever without reacting to them. Because the reaction to those thoughts was the problem, not the thoughts themselves. That's almost an extra layer of it because you're having these thoughts and you're trying to deal with all these thoughts, but on top of that going, oh, and you're a Do you, because I've done CBT stuff before about sort of like thoughts that can come in, but like I don't necessarily think it was OCD

and stuff like that, but one thing that they were sort of talked to me was that to almost say like, oh, I wonder what my next thoughts gonna be, and then that separates a barrier between you and the thoughts because the thoughts the thoughts the thoughts the thoughts the thoughts aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't aren't not.. They're just stuff that you're anxiety and your brain's producing and sort of making it less personal makes you feel more separate from the thoughts. Is that something that you do or is that helpful? Yeah, so I read something actually a couple of days ago that said if a thought starts with what if it's not coming from you. It's yes. I sometimes like to think of myself as

Robocop often. It's a little bit like, well, well, when you see his view of him scanning things and kind of scanning for danger, it's kind of like that's what your brain as a human being is doing all the time. It's just scanning in your surroundings, your risks, you're making sure you're putting one foot in front of the other. Obviously mine kind of went into overdrive and made me believe that there was danger all the time and so you're in like fight or flight all the time but the idea that if it starts with what if it's a sort of risk-assing thought it's just coming it's not really coming from you that was a really big thing very early on you know when I would take the

baby out in the pram I live in the valley I live in the valley there to be like work to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to toozymeauaulice. I I was to to to to to told I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I I I I I they I theyl. I was theyrowne I'm treen I'm treen I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm tryn. I'm try. I'm in the valleys of lots of hills. I'd be like, work my hands for a second, forgot to hold onto the pram, just let it go, and then it rolled down the hill into traffic. And so I would grip so so try to tie to your try and to fix that problem. But all that was doing was reinforcing that the problem in their t wasn't. So would you look like go online to look for like a strap to tie to your arm and would you try and solve the problems physically as well as like in your mind with like buying stuff? Yeah and a lot of what happens especially with post-natal OCD is that you try and make things safe by proxy so

you'll you'll have your partner change the baby or wash the baby or carry the baby downstairs or so you'll try and eliminate your heart of it but that's all avoidance and and so you CBT is used to treat OCD a lot of letters coming up but CBT with an emphasis of ERP with ERP is exposure response prevention so you expose yourself to the thought or the fear or the whatever it is so for some people with OCD that might be germs. Yes because I think in that th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the thi th the th th th th th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th but th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. But th. th. the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theeee. the. the. the. the. you expose yourself to the thought or the fear or the whatever it is. So for some people with OCD that might be gyms. Yes, because I think in that they get them to drink from toilet water don't they? And stuff like that. It's true. They just face the worst possible thing. I don't think that's a session. But yeah. That's it been sort of cleaned, a fairly clean one, you know, not a Charing Cross station, do I mean? I'm talking about one in your house, it's been clean. You're someone with the kind of germophobia subset of it, but it's stabilating to the point

where you can't go out in public anymore because you can't use public transport, you can't use public to public toilets, all that kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind their.. their. to to be to be to be to to their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their... their.. the their.. their. the the sort of facing that fear. There's another, it was a really great source called Catherine Benfield, and she was one of the first people I'd ever heard of speaking about post-nate LOCD. She had the kind of harm OCD that she would accidentally or maybe on purpose if she snapped because she was so tired, hurt her baby. And part of her therapy was going to sell frieges on Oxford Street. And she had to h to h to h to h to h to h to h to h to h to ha to ha to ha to ha their their to hold her baby and go at all the escalators and then back down again just all day. Wow. Because one of her fears was that she would drop the baby. Yeah. What if she just lost it for a second and through the baby over the side of the stairs or something like that?

So these horribly terrifying thoughts about the thing you love most in the world? And so you have to face the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th to have th to have th th th the the to th tho tho tho to th. to th. to th. to th. to th. th. thi thr- tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoes. thoes. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. the th. the th. the th. the the the th. the th. the th. the the. to the the to to the to the to the the toea. toea. to the the the the the the the the the the the the world and so you have to face it so that she did it for a whole day and it is like you said it's it's like holding a spider if you're terrified of them you know yeah and was there one thing in particular that you had to do that on there was a and accepting of the Thoughts? I think it was learning to be, I mean, you know, you hear all these praises and they're all a bit like wonky and stuff, but like self-compassion and all that kind of stuff. But if you genuinely for the best part of two years believe that you're the worst person in the world, then starting to be kind to yourself, not only feels impossible, but it's imperative, otherwise you don't think you deserve to get better. So first of all, it was allowing myself to think that I should get better and that I could

get better for a very long time. It wasn't lifting, it was getting worse and worse and worse. And we're talking, you know, we're reaching my son's second birthday and it's still the same and it's, I'm going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. I'm going the same and it's I'm gonna be like this forever and the other problem was that a lot of my OCD is is mental it's in my head it's invisible so I'd always think I wish I had the hand washing one because then I could like sit on my hands or try my hands I could stop I could keep myself away from a sink so I didn't wash my hands but how the hell do I stop a horrible image popping into my head th? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm the thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thee. I'm theeeateateateate. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm the. I'm the. I'm wash my hands, but how the hell do I stop a horrible image popping into my head before it does?

How do I do that? It sort of felt impossible. So some of the treatment, which I found the hardest was allowing those movie scenes. so uncomfortable. It's horrible. It's horrible. It's really horrible. You push through and then suddenly your anxiety lessons and things aren't as bad as you think and it's just a thought it doesn't mean

anything and so slowly, slowly you get better. Honestly it's amazing that you're in a position obviously still so recent, your son's only three and I think there's so many people and especially women that like you say maybe suffering this now or had been before and that thought of I don't want to tell anyone because they'll take my baby away from me kind of thing. What would you say to anyone that feels like that at the moment? I would say I never saw this coming right so I was in a place where I was in a place where I was married I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to I was to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th thi to thi to thi to happy marriage. We tried and tried for years. We had IVF. He was so wanted. And so when he was finally here, this healthy, perfect baby, I was so ready. I remember the day before he was born. I was so ready to meet him. I felt so

ready to become a mum. I was there. I was at that point. And then it, this happened. One, I'd never heard of it. the day of of of thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their th. thi. their th. th. their thi. th. I was thi. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thoe. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was th. I was to be to be to be to be th. I was th. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thi. I was thi. I was the. I was theea. thea. thea. theeea. theeea. theeeeate. I was the. I was the. the. the. I was the. I was this happened. One, I'd never heard of it. It frightened the hell out with me. I thought I was the only person. And it's really difficult to have an illness where you're, it's like having a kidney infection, but that you deserve it. If you know what I mean? It's a really horrible illness in that way because it makes you feel like you're a terrible person for having the illness in the first place. Like what kind of a music gets a kidney infection, what sort of monster gets a kidney infection. So asking

for help feels absolutely impossible and that's some of the most part-breaking stuff I've ever had to do is be very very honest with strangers with like medical professionals, about the worst, darkest corners of my mind to do with my little boy because I wanted to get better. And I would say now that I've put more stuff out and people have come forward to me, there's so much more stuff out now than there was when I was ill. If you Google, Intrusive Thoughts, if you Google, Post-Natal OCD, this stuff will come up. You will find it in a way that it wasn't coming up for me two years ago. So just tell someone you trust, speak to someone, don't be afraid.

Often I say on my podcast blog thing that I do, I write little articles, and I say that I know how difficult it is to walk into that doctor's room and sit down and say these scary things so just show them my little thing just go this I can't say it out but this and as soon as you start sharing lights on it it was such a curable that Instagram was attaining quite in my recovery because I always thought it was like full of knobs like like it's just I just thought it was like full of knobs like it's just I just thought it was like touch winchings and bones are still full of knobs don't worry about that still full of knobs and I'm whatever my for you page is

mainly milky bad boys to be honest and I just when I first went on there I was like what is this isn't for me at all and then I kind of had nothing to lose and I kind of dip my toe and being honest and to their their their to their their to their their to their their their to their their th. their th. th. their th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. When th. When th. th. th. When th. I was th. I was th. I was just like th. I was just like th. I was just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I to to to the. I to to to to to the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I was the. I the. I and then I kind of had nothing to lose and I kind of dip my toe and being honest and putting more stuff out there and saying this is happening and then getting in the two years I've been on there having thousands of messages from people who say oh my god my daughter's 25 now but that's exactly what I went through and I suffered in silence for such a long time because I thought I was a terrible mother I tho th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thr-I thr-I thr-I tho thr-I thr-I tho-I thr-n-I thr-I tho-I tho-I tho-I the. the the and I the and I'm the the thn-n-n-n-n-n thn thn th and I'm thn th and I'm thn thn thn thn thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thn't the the the theeee an theeeee an the an thee an the an the an the the the terrible mother, I thought it made me a terrible person, or I get it from partners who say I think my partner is experiencing this. And so there's just so much more stuff out there and the more light you shared on it, the less power it has. The more that I talk about this incredibly soul-destroying, cring, horrible, embarrassing stuff, the less power it holds over me because I've

grown light into the darkest corners and so that's what I would say that's been my whole thing, just talk more. It's really inspiring, it's amazing. Yeah. Because people will be able to go, I feel like this and then they can show your Instagram, your blogs, your podcast and stuff and the links to all that in our show description and also we're going to put straight in our top three of biggest gear shifts mid-podcast that we've ever done. One food's the middle house, sure. It's like the one show, it was unbelievable. Yeah, we sort of went from pet names from our wise vagina to, um, place that to OCD. Kimberly, I mean, we'll have to get you back on again to sort of a bit, the the the the the to to do a, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tho, their, tho, tho, to, to, to, to, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, thro, throwne, to, too, too, too, too, too, too, tooome, thoooooome, thea, the, the, and, the, to OCD. Kimberly, I mean, we'll have to get you back on again to sort of do a bit more of a what we'd call a traditional interview, because obviously that took up a lot of the meat

and puddings of the chat, but I think it's really important. But yeah, well done for talking about it, because it's not easy and it's brilliant what you're doing. So well done, she'd be really proud of yourself. Thank you guys, but I thought this was gonna be more, we just got back from Cypress and my son did an eight inch long poo next to me. That's what we're looking for. We've still got a few minutes. Let's talk about his shit and ask the final question, but we'll get you back back back back back back back back back back back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back you back to get you back you back you back back back back back back to get to get to get you back back to get you to get you the to get the the to get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to get to get to get you back as well to have more of a loose chat. All right. This has been an OCD sandwich, but with vaginas and shit either side of it.

All right, so very quickly, in a nutshell, we're in Cyprus. What you didn't expect is me and Rob to be interested in a topic. So you were really on that. You're like, with shit, you're like, lovely really beautiful, lovely, sunny weather, the clear sea is right there. So my husband's finishing his lunch and I said, I'm going to take the baby over, I say baby, three-year-old, taking me to sea or whatever. So I had like my bathes on under a dress and I tho'tplanade and I go into the water and he loves it and he's splashing around this little fish everywhere it's great. And then he starts to pull that face like, he's that.

And I was like, oh no, oh no. And the longest shit I've ever seen, like a tail was coming out the back of him. And I think it was like the kind of coldness of the water, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and I's thi, and I's thi, and I's thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, they they thin, they thin, the the th him. And I think it was like the kind of coldness of the water had like shocked him into it. Yeah, when that cold hits the annus. I don't know how to put this like scientific day, but he like, he wouldn't pinch it off. Oh, it was hanging. Like a goldfish. It was like, it was like eight inches. And it's starting to float. And then I the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, today, tha, tha, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. When, th. When, th. When, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, tall, tall, tall, tall, tall, like, tall, to. tall, today, tod look up and my husband's on the sort of little scene hall,

looking for the first of all he was taking pictures like how lovely and cute. Then he's just, his face has turned to utter, he can't comprehend what he's seeing. So I start yelling at him, go and do something, and he's like, what shall I do? I was like, I don't know, get a bag. What th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta do? And all these lovely people were not too far away swimming and I just thought of it. Anyway, so he breaks this tuard off, it won't sink. You'd think it would because it was girthythy.

Though they're called floaters for a reason, Kimberly, come on. It's not your first rodeo. Yeah, he was sort of reaching for it, honestly. And so my husband then just thought, well, there's nothing I can really do to help. Like, she's gonna have to get out of herself, so I'll just take pictures of it. So we've got loads of pictures now of me trying to get this giant shit floating away. Did you catch it?

No, and I was like, I've ever heard, right? And I said, no, I can't spend the rest of the holiday. I've got OCD like, I thought of some woman having a wonderful sunset swim and then this giant turd barracuda coming out of it. Yeah, I don't think it's OCD to go in and pick up the shit your son's son in the sea. I think that's just being a good citizen. Yeah, just a good egg. Oh, you wanted to be a good egg. And then my husband literally put his hand on my shoulder and went, the turds gone, Kim. And I'm sure like it disintegrated and fish ate it or something, and it was gone. But for me, it's still there in its form and it's just floating past someone who's trying to have a lovely holiday holiday. And to th. And to th. And to the to to th. And to th. And to the to to to the to to th. And to to their, to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their, their their their their their their their tho. It's toda. It's today, today, today, today, today's today's today's today's today's today's the. And, the trying to have a lovely holiday. Is it a metaphor for you dealing with your OCD in a way, Kimberly? It's gone.

It's floating somewhere in the ocean, but far away, so you can relax. I learn to let it go. I can't control all the shit in the world and I have to be okay with that. And sometimes you go for a swim and there's a little bit of'll come back around it and that's this life and I'll get... The thing is now if anyone sees a turd in the sea, they'll think of you. It was so long. It was so long. You haven't been on to Loch Ness on holiday, have you? Starting all those rumors. Sometimes I just sit and think about how long it was. It was massive. It was a good, sipriot food. It's like, where did that come from? And how it is so spake. It was bizarre. It's that good, separate food. It would do that to you. On your jumper, there's a brain.

Is that your... Yeah, this is all very new. So I have this thing called Kim Thones in my brain, which is this absolutely shambles and I do little articles on a sort of sub-stack. And literally this week, I've become a huge merch wanker and got merch. I kind of hate myself a little bit more. Can you show us the merch? We turned cameras off because the internet was...

Can I turn it online? Well, let's t so we turn to the Oh look at that. Oh now you got merch. I like it Influencing my brain not today brain and there's a brain I like it. Yeah, I'm like it. My saying like when my OCD would try and kick in on a day it'd be like not to day brain. I'm in the diaphy. I'm in the diet. See I'm in the di. See I don't in the di. See I don't the di. See I don't. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. I don't the di. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. See. I don't. I don't. See. See. See. See. See. I don't. See. See. See. See. See. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the di. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. I. I. I. I. I. I the di. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the. I. I. I the the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I good. Kimberly, you've been absolutely amazing. Thank you so much and good luck with your podcast. I look at what you're brain. Good luck with your brain. Good luck with your brain. Good luck with the shit son on holiday. So people want to see here and read more of you.

Is it the head to Kimfluance in the brain? Yes. I think I'm right in the midst of being really unwell so I'm pretty honest on there and you get to see I'm saying looking behind the curtains and you get to see someone in the midst of a post-natal mental illness so yeah. So yeah. So you can even go back to the start of your Instagram and do the full series like a box it. You can see the whole journey. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th. th. th. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. tho. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the a lot then. Kimberly, thank you so much. Thank you Josh for having me, guys. Kimberly, that was brilliant, wasn't it, Josh? That was unbelievable. Always respond to the public, Rob.

If the public wants someone, they're right. We are merely the USB leads from the power of the guest to the ears of the public. We are nothing but connectors, Josh. Exactly. And I'm happy to be the medium rather than the message, Rob. Do you know what? I'm happy to be a USBC. That's the new lead, isn't it?

Is it? All devices. Yes. It's an EU law. Yeah. political but sometimes their little laws are quite handy. Go and listen to Kimberly's podcast and follow it on Instagram. We'll definitely get a back to talk properly because that got a bit serious in the middle but I think it's important. But you don't want to cut that short. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Yaddy, yada, yada, OCD as your son had a shit in the sea. Yeah, exactly. We got there anyway. We'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, tha, tha, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the the th. Yeah, the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, exactly. We got there anyway. Yeah, exactly. We'll always get that. Brilliant. See you on Tuesday. How do we not know his shoes though? Poor, isn't it? Poor. Bye. Bye.

By. This Christmas on Netflix, through her silent night. I haven't got choice. They're blackmailing me. They only take out three brothers, three rings. This money he could set up Daisy for life. Bang, bang, bang. It should be easy for a man in your abilities. Marking, if my family goes down, it won't be the only one.

They won't stop contacting you. They want you. They'll just keep going. You know as well as I as th a th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as I th as th as th as th as th as th as thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho thi. thrown't thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. They want you, they'll just keep going. You know as well as I do, Mark. This won't end well. Tell me, when did killing people become so hard, Marky? If I could give her one good Christmas, I'd die a happy man. Silent Night, streaming exclusively on Netflix. Merry Bloody Christmas. Andy Bush here from Guestamators.

The brand new game show where guestwork beats Google. Join me, our resident quiz master Statman, and a celebrity guest as we dive into the brains of the Great British public. Statman, what sort of questions we've been asking? Well, Bush, here are some of my favorites. Who's the best Irish person? Which finger would you chop off if you had to? And how many human-sized corgis could Prince William beat in a fight?

To play along at home and listen to the podcast just visit guestomators.com. I think I'd chop off my left little finger, by the way.