Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S7 EP8: Joel Dommett
Episode Date: August 18, 2023Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian and presenter - Joel Dommett. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every T...uesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
And I'm Josh Winnockham.
Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting,
each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales
of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us
know what we're doing.
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Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with Sophie.
Can you say Rob Beckett?
Can you say Josh Widdicum?
Good work! Good work! That was nice, I like that, John.
Michael's got it, hasn't he? Because you're internet shit. Yeah, who's that, Michael?
Hi, Rob and Josh. This is our daughter Sophie, who said your names after many tries of asking
and she was just asking for Baba Black Sheep. Thanks for getting me through the long night
shift when she was a newborn and was only sleeping on us and not in her cot from Jenny in
Tring in Hertfordshire. Oh, the old Tring tri-Festival. Anyway Josh, how are you? You promised
us a update on a slight breakdown. Oh yeah, yeah. I just had a bit of a the the the the the the their.
on a slight breakdown. Oh yeah yeah I just had a bit of a relapse Rob for one day only. Did you? One day back into 2022? What could you for people that have
just started listening what would you say you relapse into? Well if you just
started listening go back and listen from the start obviously I'm incredible
anxiety and insomnia brought on by overwork. Yes very well put. So I went away
filming for four days for
hold the front page series two but let's remember hold the front page series
one is the thing that started the whole thing in the first place. Well so you
also he's gonna be triggered a little by that because you're going back to
a thing that sort of stressed you out. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Yeah. During the filming got home I had done last leg. I. the the the the to. to. to. to. to to to to to the to to the the the the to to the the the the to the the the the the the the film. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theaun. throomeauu. throomeau. thr-s. throomeau. th. thro. thro. the f. the f. the f. the f. the night before, so I had to get the car straight from last leg to South Hampton, then get the ferry to the Isle of White, the first thing in the morning, before
filming 12 hour days. I thought I've dealt with this very well. Got on the boat back. I was
little manic. Started doing some work on the train on the boat home. Don't know why I needed to do that. Just felt like... Just rest. Just rest. But no.
A bit of an exciting moment on the boat, Rob. Got asked whether I was on the ferry.
Got asked whether I wanted to come up and steer the boat with the captain.
He's like, I've already got enough work on mate. Then another job. I was up there like a fucking shock because I was so manic. Let's get this boat. the try. th. th. th. th. the boat. th. the boat. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the th. the the. the the tho the the the the tho tho to the. the the to the to to to to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thro to to too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the tho to think about how I feel about it. Let's get them there. Let's drive the boat.
Got in the car home, carried on doing work for another hour. Absolutely insane. What was
I thinking? What is what work is this? Writing jokes? What are you doing? Just thinking
about going back to stand up, stuff like that. Organizing stuff like that. Yeah, I went mental mental Rob. I went mental last week for a day. Yeah.
Got home. Try to read my book for an hour in the car. Home couldn't read. I was too manic.
Yeah. Got home, too manic to sleep. Next day the anxiety threw the roof again. So how much you didn't sleep at all basically that night? Ten pints, blur doc. Well no, this is the thing. Yeah. I realized. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the. the. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. I. th. I. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. Yeah. Well no, this is the thing. Yeah. I realized a year ago I used
to, I know I was feeling anxiety, I'd get drunk. No, not in my locker anymore Rob. So what
do you do now? I've got that weapon. Just suck it up. Work. Just, no, so then I, then the next day,
it calmed down, it went away because I knew what it was. I wasn't blaming the sleeping pills. I wasn't just just just just th. Just th. Just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was not th. I was thi. I was th. I was thi. I was thi. I was. I was. I was. I was I was I was. I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was not th. I was not th. I was not th. I was not th. I was not th. I was not th. I was not th. I was not feeling. I was th. I was th. I was the th I knew I wasn't blaming the sleeping pills, I wasn't thinking what is this, I wasn't thinking
I've got insomnia, I just knew this shall pass. Because I knew your work
schedule was quite intense because you're basically like you worked 10 days in a
row century no days off and then back to like looking after the kids and still working. So I knew it called I knew you was under the cost a to. to to to to to to to be. I was. I was. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, the the the the to the to the the th. And th. And th. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was th. I was, I was, I was, I was th. I was like, I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was, I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was like, I was th. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was thin, I was like, I was like, I was thin, I was like, I was like, I'm thin, I've th. I've thin, I've th. I've thin, I doing this. And then I saw you post on Instagram, writing some new ideas of stand up. And I was like, he's lost his head.
He's gone.
I've gone.
I've gone.
I've got, I've got, I've got, no, you don't need to do that.
Stop lying.
And I'm the cafe.
I'm just told tea in a cafe. So if I'm waiting in a cafe, I'm just being a relaxing guy, I'm just chilling out.
I'm just chilling out.
Did you might have been right of any jokes?
No?
No.
Just sat there rocking back.
I'm a little bit about ordering a curry, then left.
Is it funny? We'll see when you order get to gig. I've got a new bit about curry.
We're talking about when you, no, when you order a takeaway, right, they've just got to stop
sending the little bag of salad.
Oh yeah, that is funny.
What is the little, but no one's eating that fucking no one's eating.
But also if I'm eating a bag of a bag, if I'm eating a salad, if you're eating, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't because it's been in a bag on the back of a motorbike next to a curry. Who's put in a bag of salad next to a
pie but not carry? So I'll turn that into a bit probably. So have you come and see me in about three years time I'll be smashing that out. Yeah, you'll enjoy that. Crunching that out. Carlullulch, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, out, out, that, out, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, al. Oh yeah, I've been there. I'm quite looking forward to it though. I've got, I've got, but I don't know whether I'm looking forward to it or whether I'm
just manic still.
But I think I'm chilled now.
I'm pretty chilled now.
And how's your weekend looking?
You work in this weekend?
Are you off?
Uh, it's my friend. You've got to go Plymouth, Watford. You spend too much time with your friends, and I reckon you've got too many.
No, because they've, it's a kid, they've got kids.
So basically I've got to go to Rose, you know that birthday we were going to?
Yeah, yeah.
Well I can no longer drive, you could just, that would be fine.
Because the issue there is not really ergoing.
So when she passes, that'll be, you'll be away.
That's a difficult argument, Rob.
Just see, you know. When you pass, this will be fine, but you haven't passed.
So see you later.
Yes, I understand that doesn't help you now.
But what times the party, can't you drop them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them off them off them off them off them off the the the the their their their their their their their their their the doesn't help you now. But what times of party? Can't you drop him off at the, can't you drop him off at the party?
Drive up to Watford, watch the game, drive back and pick him up.
No, Watford's a long way from Southeast London.
Now, where in South East London?
Crystal Palace Park.
This is, to we just bring on Joel Dommet, I don't ask him, because this is, he hasn't had the baby yet, this is the pre-baby chat, then we're getting back on for the chat once I've had the baby.
What is his, his body is unbelievable, Josh.
Yeah, what's it going to do about his phone?
He's on Instagram with his phone in his mouth and his neck and his neck and his neck and there's the current workout schedule is, and then, and th...... And the the the th. And th. And they, and th. And they, th. And they, th. And thi, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is?? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their? their? their? their. their. their. their. the their, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what back on what is he doing now? Okay well let's segue into the interview and you'll hear us ask him immediately. We're about to we're literally
doing that interview in a minute. Yeah I would just go watch Watford Plymouth
mate. You're not gonna get many chances to be Plymouth that close to your
house this season. Well I'll let you know what I did. This is Joel Domit. this is Joel Dommet welcome to the show. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the show. the show. to to the show. to to the show. to the show. to to to to to the show. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the to be. to be. to be. to be. to to to to to to to to to to be. to be. to be. to be. the the the the the the they. I'm just just just just. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. the. the. the. the. toeole. toe. toe. toe. toe. I. I. I willto have you on because we've been waiting a little while for this now.
Rose is very excited. She said when you're going to get Joel on. People are talking about this. Exactly. Well, you are expecting a child. Hannah is pregnant. How pregnant is Hannah? She is 35 weeks now. 35 weeks now. Oh, she can't fly. She can't fly. She can't fly. She can't fly. She can't fly. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th th th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. We th th. We th th. We th. We th th th th th. We th th th th th th th th. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi. We thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. We've thi. We've th't fly. She can't fly.
She can't fly.
No, she can't leave me to another country.
Thank God.
She can't abscond.
Um, so, what, I don't, is it 40 weeks when it's over?
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
We're such a group of men.
Well, no, but it is, we are such a group of men. you know you will have a more if something's happening inside you you'll be
slightly more on top of the details. Well that I've been reading all the books
Rob. Have you? Yeah yeah that's classic Joel. And I found out that in France they let it go to 42 weeks. Really? What do they do just cross their legs? I don't I don't. I don't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to to the. the. the. the. the. th, I don't know. I don't, I didn't read that far.
Really? Yeah, yeah, of course.
But yeah, so they normally go over though, the first, first trial.
Exactly. Yeah. I'm hoping so. I've got the NTAs.
So I want to sort of get that done.
When are the NTAs? W. What are the the to the due date. Right. Okay, so what is what if she goes into
the labor on the day of the NTAs which is live from the O2 just let me know what
time I'll get there and I'll host it. Who's the backup? I feel like that's the dream.
Well, they say they've got a contingency but they won't tell me who it is. I know it is. Craig-I-I. C. C. C. Craig G G G G G G G G G G G G G-I. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. G. G. G. G. th. thi. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. A. G. G. G. G. A. A. G. A. A. G. A. A. G. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. G. A. A. A. G. A. A. A. A. G. A. G. A. G. A. G. G. G. G. G does this morning. He is ITVs.
Pressing and a murder.
Good guy.
Great guy.
Great guy.
Craig Doyle.
Crane Doyle.
Good looking.
Good looking, great guy.
He will be there.
He'll be there's all of the presenters there in the country,
so then they can each do a section or something like that.
I thought you were going to say they could fight to the death.
Yeah, they all fight, run to the front.
Have you discussed what the communication will be?
Like, are you going to keep my phone on me and just check
during the breaks then I can come back from a break and then suddenly it's
Craig Doyle. Craig Doyle is going to be someone there on the night. Yeah and
they won't tell me who it is so I've got to keep guessing like it's like the fucking traitors. All you know is that Craig Doyle is going to send a curry to your house
for Hannah to him. On the afternoon of the NTAs. Because it really went into
labor the day before I was doing eight out ten cats Christmas special so I missed it.
Oh yeah. And someone else took the spot so you may have to miss it Joel but um yeah I'll put you
I put ten cats with birth yeah I'm fucking telly for that I was gonna say
birth who was having contractions while I was trying to write for it and I'll
for a joke I thought I don't need to write a punch on here she's going for it
she's this baby's coming out quicker than this joke so how is how is Hannah though they're? She's in a good pregnancy, she's feeling good?
Yeah, she's doing very well. Like, you know, you kind of hear all these, this is the problem of people just sort of put this horrible thing in your head that it's like awful.
Yeah. Remember the podcast you're on Joel. Remember what me and Rob are making are living from here? I know we talk about the good bits as well. Honestly I can't think I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. tho. the. tho. th. tho. the. the. tho. the. tho. the. the. th. th. th. th. talk about the good bits as well. Honestly, I cannot tell you, I genuinely
think this podcast is the reason that we're pregnant. Like, I know it's a lot of fresh
on you boys, but I like, I love this podcast. I genuinely love it a lot, too much. I listen to this
podcast all this, I read, I read the book, I've watched you live twice. I'd like to watch much.
We went to watch you live and then we listened to the podcast in the car and then we got
back from the live watching you live and then this is the worst part.
Hannah can't fall asleep, right? So because she's pregnant.
So she likes to stop for me to read to her so she falls asleep and so I read your book to her
oh god she falls asleep. Oh my word. But also you've said pregnancy is going well she can't go
to sleep unless she reads to her it sounds like fucking hell. It's quite good actually because
like she then goes to sleep and I also get autocue practice so it's a bit like.
Absolute professional. What else do you read to her Joel? Well I do like reading the the at the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho. thoom book book book tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the book. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the the the the the th. Oh, the th. Oh, th. Oh, the th. Oh, thoooooooooooo. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh Joel? Well, I do like reading the, at the moment I'm reading this, again, baby books.
I know some people read loads and some people don't read loads.
I'm reading this one called crib sheet at the moment, which is very complicated.
It's very good, but the writing is too small, it's like the Bible.
I tap out of that. It could be the greatest book of all time that just speaks to me directly if the font is too small. It's too small. But it's because they're tricking you. Because they're making
that they you look at it in the in the bookshop and you think oh that's a small book. I can absolutely smash that you know and then you get at home with small font it's like that's a data-trivened to be to be th. th. th. th. th. thrie th. th. That's thrived th. That's supposed thrived thrived th. That's supposed th. That's supposed thrived thrived that's supposed thrived that's supposed that's supposed th. That's supposed thrown. That's supposed they're supposed they're supposed they're supposed they're supposed they're supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed that's supposed to be supposed to be supposed to be supposed to be supposed to be supposed to be supposed to be supposed to be to be to be a to be to be a to be a to be to be to be to be a to be supposed to this is not for you crib sheet.
What's it about?
It is a data-driven guide to better parenting.
Oh fuck data.
I can't think of anything what, oh Excel.
I've enjoyed this.
I'd enjoy this.
I've proudly have never used Excel.
Is this the kind of stuff that you do at corporate?
With this sort of material. Are you looking forward to the birth, Joel?
I don't know. It's so, it's scary because it's so unknown. You know, you don't know what's
going to happen. You like, you hope that it's going to go a certain way and we're like,
we're trying our best to make it go as planned. What plans have you got, Joel? What's the setup at the moment? We're hoping for, and it sounds very weird saying this, three boys, vagina. I hope it, well
yeah, as opposed to what, anus?
Mouth? Out the mouth. A pipe has got twisted somewhere and a fortune it came out of
but a butool. And so you're hopingaginal, a home hospital, hospital, right? We've been doing lots of hypnoburfin
classes. Oh here we go. Have you been listening to the tapes while you go to sleep?
Yeah, yeah I listen to them. We've been doing a breakfast.
This morning I was trying to enjoy porridge and there was a video. Don't talk about porridge. Josh fucking loves he. He go. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to th. the th. to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. We. We. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. Ho. Ho. Ho. H. I th. H. tooooooooooome. H. H. H. H. H. tooooooooombe. H. the. H. th. H. th. H video about tearing. Don't talk about porridge. Josh Fuck he loves porridge. Every day little dirty gobbler.
He gobbles it up.
He has any water though.
I don't have it with water.
So the hospital, you're going to hospital?
So we're going to hospital.
How near is the hospital?
It's not like, again, talked to anyone about it. Okay. How close was your hospital? It was a drive.
Yeah, 10, 15 minute.
One, the first one was quite about a 10 minute drive second,
about 15 minute drive.
Right.
I was like half an hour.
Is that okay?
Yeah, it's fine.
You've got fucking hours.
Really? Yeah, you've got plenty of time. Yeah, you. Yeah. Yeah. you. you. you. you. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. too. too. too. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. ttoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. tha. tha. th. Yeah, and also as well, if you get there a bit early, you can always go for like food nearby.
Oh, yeah, we were having breakfast after we'd been there.
You know, you're just dispatched out to do stuff.
They will try and send your own quite quickly,
though, so you sometimes have to fight your corner slightly.
Right.
Because they will push it to the absolute end of your to grgue.
If you're as annoying as Rob, they try and get your other building. If you're charming and good looking like Joel and Hannah, they're going to go.
You guys stay.
We like having to do it.
No, but because they're doing it every day.
It's like, you know, if you've got like a three inch cut in your arm from doing something in the garden, it's all bleeding and it's like and it's like, oh my God, my they's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, they's, they's, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, you're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, you're going, you're going, you're going, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're going, you, you're going, you, you, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're going, they're like, yeah, but my arms cut open. Like, yeah, it's the hospital. They are. That's what they're like. So you can just sit there, but yeah, I think that'll be
fine. I've got to remember the red book. What's the red book? You must know about the red
book. Or is it all on the red book? Or is it all the red book when you get in there by hand. Are we talking about that thing you get in school? No, there's a bit, it's Hannah in the house.
Oh, is that the national record of a dealer?
That's national records of you.
That's not different.
Here you get a look at it.
That book.
That book.
I haven't got a book.
Well, maybe, that's it then, maybe. It's that, yeah. And we were petrified because we kept on forgetting it. I thought about putting a, you know, like,
on those things that you put on your keys
to make sure you don't forget your keys,
where it like bleeps and you can put on your phone.
I really want to put one of those on it
because I'm just pet I'm going that gets a bit obsessed with stuff. So do you found that you become a bit obsessed with like learning how to be a dad or
knowing what to expect and like read everything, you find them that a bit overwhelming or you're
quite enjoying it?
Because you are a man that taught himself nunchucks.
Yeah, exactly.
Yesterday I told myself how to surf just because I thought I would.
Yesterday, where are you? I went down to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi, tho thi, that that, thi, tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their that, be that, be that, that, be toldee.... toldeat, toldeat, tolde.. toldeat, tolde. told me tho. tho. that, I'd never surf before. Yeah, yes I would surf. I went down to this place in Bristol that has like fake waves.
Oh wow. It was mad and I looked around in this class. Everyone else was 12.
It's some holidays. Unbelievable. But yeah, so I'm hoping that sort of skill will help me with the birth.
But I, I like, you'd like you say details and all the stuff.
I'm trying my best.
But the problem is, is all these books you read, all these videos you do,
there's just so much information.
And then it could all just go out of the window.
You know, it's like one little thing happens and it just doesn't go.
Totally. The baby hasn't read the book, Joel. That's what people say.
The baby hasn't read the book.
The baby hasn't read the book.
I love that phrase.
That's good that, isn't it?
I love that phrase.
I think you've got to go over your gut a bit more than the books.
I didn't read any books then I'm like I get better a reading
and if I get better literally reading is my job. So you put a positive spin on
everything. I think you're one of the most mentally sound people and one of
the nicest people not just I've met in comedy but in life because really your success
in your face you should be an absolute asshole but you're so kind and generous and a good person. So that positive is going to be interesting to see if being a
parent will break that because you can put a positive spin on most things.
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How are you with tiredness?
I'm scared about it, to be honest.
I am scared about it.
Because I love sleep.
Like I really love it, because I'm really aware about recovery
and what sort of sleep to you.
And I literally read a book about sleep.
Which basically the whole book. thi. tip. tip. tiiiii. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to bea. to bea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toa. toa. toa. toa. to be a to be a to be a to be a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to bea. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. tia. tia. tia. tia. tia. tia. tia. ti. ti. ti book to read. I read this book about sleep, which basically the whole book
it just tells you that like you need to have at least sort of seven hours, definitely you
should be having eight, otherwise you just fall apart and die. That's basically what a book
that's true as well. And so I'm so, I'm genuine scared. I've got things that I've got a better night to sleep. I've got an ice bath and then so that makes makes. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm so I'm their. I'm so I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'll th. I'll th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. te. teeat. teat. teat. teat. tell. tell. the tell. the tell. the theeeee. the. the night to sleep. I've got an ice bath, I do an ice bath and then so that makes me so have sleep better. I bought this mattress,
this was last year, like a mattress that has, it cools you, the mattress reads
what heat you are in your body, it has like sensors on it, and then it changes the
heat of the mattress depending on what what what heat you are and so cool
cause you don't because you're supposed to be cool you're supposed to be
like really cool and that costs I cannot tell you how much right I'm gonna
tell you how much money it was yeah can we go bleep it out right
very most mattress mattress cover so it's just a cover it's not the mattress
mattress cover that's next and the next to the bed it has this like thing that powers it. Fucking yeah. But you can't put a price on sleep Joel. No.
This was the problem. I got it. I was like said to Hannah I was like this is a
thing I need and the sleep is going to improve I can't wait my recovery is
going to be amazing we're gonna love it got it spend the money and then it was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th tho the tho tho that the the that the tho- tho- the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoo thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-I too-I th. thooo' th. th. th. to love it. Got it. Spend the money. And then it was too loud. And so it's in the loft.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
You know what, those pre-baby purchases where you've got extra money knocking about because you don't have to
waste it all on kids' shoes and stuff like that. Some of the stuff people buy is wild. But so that's in the loft now, is it? It's in the loft now. And so yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. so that's in the loft now, is it? That's in the loft now. And so yeah, I'm enjoying all the babies.
I've joined buying all the baby stuff.
So how much sleep are you getting a moment then, Joel?
Tell me through your bedtime,
tell me through your nightly routine.
And then what we'll do is we'll ask you about your nightly routine
when the baby is a to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go the baby is a the baby is a to go the baby is a th thi thi thi or two wanted to get you properly into it. Okay so right right now I I really like I really like doing I do a sauna in the
morning and then in the evening I like doing an ice bath yeah I know it's weird most
people do in the morning but it really cools me down because I get really
hot. I wouldn't say most people have an ice bath in the morning John sorry sorry both psychopaths so what times your ice bath we don't actually go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the the the the. the. theeeeeee. theeeeeee. theeee. thee. I the. I the. I. Sorry, sorry, both psychopaths. So what
times your ice bath? We don't actually go to bed that late. Like unless I've got like a gig
or something. So we're trying to like not watch TV until like midnight, you know what I mean?
Just go to bed early, especially when she's pregnant right now, she gets tired, so we're going to to bed about 10. Yep, yeah. And then I probably I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th thi th thi th th th thi th th th th th th th th. We don't actually th. We don't actually th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thee. thooooooooooooooooooe. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the about 10. Yep. Yeah. And then I probably fall asleep about midnight by the time I've read to her for absolutely
ages.
Which I'm going to be good at when the child arrives.
Yeah.
You know, I'm looking forward to do in also coup practice on the gruffelo.
Yeah.
Because you can really sell those books as well.
There's more fun to be had reading the gruffalo than there is to be reading. Donaldson knows away around a rhyme.
Yeah yeah exactly you can really throw yourself into it. She don't miss it that.
Really masked singer it you know I mean? Yeah exactly.
And what time you're waking up Joel? About 830 maybe nine. Honestly some days before the before the pregnancy some days I mean I
was definitely getting a I used to go up at 10 a.m. really that was my muscle
if I'd get I'll wake up about 9ish and just chill till 10 10 to 10
tell 10 to 10 look at my phone workout because normally we work a bit
later on yeah because it's evenings yeah I sometimes I just think 10 hour to Do you know what I mean? I just enjoy that.
The key is being cold in bed, isn't it? That is the, we think about a comfy thing, but the cold
you are, the easier it is to sleep. Hotel rooms, the lowest as it goes. I sleep like a fucking
what's something that sleeps good. I still wake, I still wake. I still I still wake. I still wake. I'm thi. I'm th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the thi is thi is the thi is thi is thi is thi is the the thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the key the key the the key the key is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is tooo tooooo tooooo today today is today is today is the thi is thi is thi is thimed that's not me ever no no I'll go straight back to sleep just you wait Joel just you wait this is what I'm scared I'm scared of the
sleep I really am scared of the sleep but I think I'm gonna get you know
classic me I'm gonna figure out a way of putting a positive spin on it yeah
do you to argue when you're like um have you see the podcast have I just mean do you the to argue the to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue the to argue the the to argue the to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue the the the the the the to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue to argue the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. the the the the the the the they. they. to you're to you're the the the the the the the the have you seen the podcast? No, I just mean do you argue... Hannah's eyes in one of those, I can't remember what you were arguing about.
The anger and her eyes towards you, it was literally like, oh my God, I think Hannah
and Lou are the same person.
The way Hannah was looking at Joel, I can't remember what clip it was, but it was.
It was this one where, it was that... Yes, so before Hannah was pregnant you two having a little argument about something and her eyes changed
and she told you off about something and she had the exact same look in her
eye that looted when she was pregnant and she had the hool hormone's all over
the place so they actually hate you with their eyes. It's amazing you should
become a doctor. I went Hannah's not nice when it's early days but I called it early doors. You really did you knew before I did. And if it comes out with
blonde hair and massive teeth then you know that why Rob knew that Panna was
pregnant. Rob did want to ask something. This we discussed this in the pre-chat.
I wanted to know what your current sort of fitness schedule is because you look
unbelievable. I think being away filming for six weeks,
you're sort of really focusing on that,
and you look unbelievable,
almost like an athlete sort of approach to fitness
that you have.
You've got your own gym and stuff like that.
What's your routine now?
And then once you've had the baby,
we're gonna try and find out what you're up to whenthe moment? At the moment I'm trying to get it down
it's because I'm aware that I'm not going to have this much time. Yeah. But at a moment I'm doing
hour and a half a day. Every day. Every day. In your house? In my house, if I go out to the gym it'll probably take two. Yeah. Also again to help sleep I put a sauna in. th th th tha tha tha tha. tha. tha. tha. t tha. t t t t t tha, t t t t t t t t tha, I tha, I'm tha, I'm try, I'm try, I'm tha, it's try, it's try, it's try it's tha, it's tha, it's tha, it's t i's t i's t i's t, it's t i's because it's t, it's t, it's because it's tha. It's t, it's tha. It's t, it's t, it's t, it's t, it's t, it's takes it's takes it's because it's because it's because it's takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes toge, it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because I tip, it's because it's t gym, it'll probably take two. Yeah. Right.
Also, again, to help sleep, I put a sauna in.
You've got a sauna in.
How long you in the sauna for?
And it's because there's a good 35-40 minutes.
And that's not included in the hour and a half working out.
And that's not included in the hour and a half. And then ice bath that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an ice. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an ice. That's an extra. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an ice. That's an that's an that's an that's an that's an that's an that's an that's an that's an that's an that's. That's. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra. That's an extra an extra an extra. That's an extra an extra. That's an extra the the ice bath. That's an extra the the the the the the like, you know, just including getting in and getting out of time.
Across the nation.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, and then...
Psyching yourself up.
That's a good 7, half, 8 minutes each side of it.
Ha ha ha ha.
How long you in there, Joel, because I, I tried to do the whim-ho shower, and I can do a maximum of 10 seconds. You just got to build yourself up.
It's honestly, life-changing.
And I know everyone goes on about it and all that stuff,
but it really wakes you up.
If you start doing it in the morning,
I then don't have coffee, because I don't, you don't need it.
And how long of you, how long do you do? I, it depends how cold it is, but the less, the less, the less, the less, the less, the the less, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is, th is, th is, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, is, is, is, is......... It's, is, is, is, is, is. It's is. It's is. It's, to. It's, to. It's, to. It's, to. It's, too. It's, too, the too, too, too, too, too.c is. It's, too. It's, too, too, too, the colder it is the less time you have to
do. So if you're doing it at like when it's like six degrees or something like that, then
you only need to stay in for like five minutes. If that's four minutes, you know, it's like
really like not long at all. And that's why I like it and that's why I'm thinking, I'm going to continue that. Have you got space their th a th a th a th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I'm th. I'm thi thi that's that's like I'm that's like thi that's like that's like, I'm that's like, I th. that's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th. th. I'm like th. I'm like th. I'm like th. I'm like th. I'm like th. I'm like th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi, I'm thi. thi. thi. that's that's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi's like, thi's like, thi's like, like, like, like, like, thi'm going to continue that. Yeah. Have you got space for the storage of all the baby stuff? It's a well... Your garage is the gym isn't it? I
don't know whether it says anything but I my laptop is currently on top of a
car seat box so no. So you're working off the box with the car seat in.
Have you got a pram? Well I have got a pram. I really enjoyed the logistics of the pram scenario.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, just finding out, we've gone for a nuna.
Ooh, no.
No, no.
Not too late.
Not too late to send that back, Joel.
told it back, Joel.
Yeah, it feels good.
It feels good. They can get a baby in it. Yeah, you just thought wheel it around and you're like, yeah,
I suppose that works.
Or a Noona?
N-U-N-A.
Car seat goes in and it's got the car seat with the bit,
and it twists around.
So if they face you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is good. I didn't even didn't even even even even even even even even even even even that. I didn't even. I didn't even. I didn't even. I didn't even. I didn't even. I didn't even. I didn't even. I didn't even. I didn't even that. I didn't even that was. I didn't even that was that was. I that was that was that was. I that was. I was. I that was. I was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that that that that works. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was a that was a that was a that was a that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that was a that was that was a that was excited the shop and then I love all the things that like, oh you've got to get that and you've got to get these brackets that fit on that
and the bracket goes on that and it just...
It's exciting isn't it?
Oh it's so exciting. It feels like the closest I'm ever going to be to a mechanic.
Yeah, I'm planning on...
to go back on it, what are you planning exercise-wise once you have the baby?
Yeah, I'm planning on, I'm trying, gonna try and take it down a bit.
Like how realistic is it that I could do 40 minutes a day? Easy. Yeah, that's realistic. I think that's fine. The truth is a lot of, I think you'll be absolutely fine because you're already into that routine and you love it and you enjoy the process of it and you'll just th... th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. So, to to to to to to to thri. to to thri. thri. thi. thri, thi, thi, lot of, I think you'll be absolutely fine because you're already into that routine and you love it and you enjoy the process of it and you'll just have to lower it down
and build it back up but yeah especially if you've got that gym in your house I think you'll be
fine to do that. What I would say is they absolutely when they're little little, you can put them in a little holster thing or in a pram, or in a little, or in a little, or in a little, or in a little, or in a little, or in a little, or in a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, or a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a they, a they, a they, a tha, a they, a thra, a thracea, a pram, a pram, a pram, a pram, a pram, a pram, a pram, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a littlethey love that or go for a run or a jog if you get the right pram and stuff like that is something you can do.
If Rob a walk doesn't make a chest like this.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Don't I know baby?
Can you can you do this?
Can you like put them in a chair, bassinet, whatever and just make them watch
you?
No, they'll get bored.
Is that not?
But they might.
But you might be able to.
But there'll be naps.
What's going to happen?
This is not when he's fucking clean and jerking in the garage.
Keep it down, Joel.
Keep it down, Joel, is you're going to need to decide, I think,
between your baby early on is going to nap.
And that's going to be your little break.
And your choice is going to be, do I nap as well or do I work out?
Or do your actual job and do all your emails and you're tax and
you're writing new jokes and getting in a car going to do what you do? Have you got anything
booked in workwise after the birth? Not great. It's actually not your birth. That will be a
blessed relief job. Oh really? Yeah, because you'll be able to sleep in the car. This
is the advantage of a job. But you will be that sleep, say you're getting picked up and it's an hour driving to
town to go to work, Hannah will treat that and quite rightly like you've been on a mini
break.
So when me and Lou would argue over sleep, but you get to go in the car and I'm like, I don't
think being driven for an hour to twicken them at 6 a.m. I be counted in my sleep. Yeah. Because it's not a guaranteed out.
Even if I get 20 minutes out of that, it's like it's not on the motorway. It's Windy Road,
you're getting knocked about. Yeah, on this podcast I've learned a lot from you listening to you both.
Because like with me and Hannah were saying it's like, Rob, I feel like you're quite good at like the sort of level of support that you give your partner in the way like like when you go away where you're away on tour
you then come back and then you allow her to go away and you're like that
time that she could be yeah not allow her that's actually what we're not a
lot of but we arrange time for we separate a bit more but we've got with a that's easier now that mine a the one one a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's that's to that's to that's to to to the the to the to their to to to to to to to to to to their that's a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. they. they. they. the the they. the the the the that's the the that's the the the the that's the the that's the the that's that's the the that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's that's the the the they. the the the the that easier now that mine a bit older. I feel like there's a where as Josh, you come.
Whereas Josh, I've learned from you not to live in East London.
Well, Josh's youngest is still quite young, so it's a bit trick to do that.
But especially when they get older, but we found rather than, I think, to be fair, I think, Joshua says himself, you and Rose, especially in lockdown sort of did it th.............. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to me. to me. to me. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to me. to me. to me. to me. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to me. to me. to me. to me. think, to be fair, I think Joshua says himself, you and Rose, especially in lockdown, sort of did it all together, which works for some people, but for me and
Lou, it was very much, you get on with it, and then I'll sleep, then I'll get on with it,
and then you sleep, but, but it all depends on the individuals and the couples and how it all works. I'm ridden with guilt. I'm full th and th and full, I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, thi. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, the. It's, to, to, to, to, to me, to, I, to me, I, to me, to. to. to me, to. to. to. to. to. to. the. It's night time. So if Rose was up you'd just feel like you have to be up watching her and helping her but.
Yeah, just staring into the distance, resenting her. You should try reading to her. I should try reading to it.
With his voice.
So cross all the arm. But I think I think you'll find you'll both find your way through it
and it's all different for all different sorts of people. So if it's working for both you just sort of stick with that but it is a bit more a trial and error.
Honestly, I think you underestimate probably the how brilliant this podcast is.
Like it's so.
No, I don't know if you get enough credit.
Livid. I just think it's great and I think it gives people, I mean it was
certainly given me something to listen to that I feels like I kind of am
learning stuff without it being too learning and I feel like it's real life
learning almost like it's just sometimes all of the stats and the statistics
and you've got to do this and you've got to do that and you're like you're like you're never
going to remember it.
But like data.
Imagine having data on children.
Unbelievable.
But like I like I just I think you I just think this podcast is great.
This is a dream for me to be on this podcast.
Well, I'm very happy to have you on job. When you say about data, when I was reading the books, when I, when I, when I, when I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was reading, I, I was reading, I was reading, I was reading, I was reading, I was reading, I was reading, I was reading, I was reading, the the the the the the, the, the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the th, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to that, th I can't even remember. I had plans to distill it down
into a fact sheet that was easy for me to reference once the baby was born.
Really?
I've got it.
I don't know if I did it.
I don't know if I did it. You know when I'd like, I either did it on a computer
and it never saw the light of day or I just thought about you. Do you know when it's like there was no point when at 3 a.m. I was like just check the fact sheet it needs one ounce of milk. It's so funny
when you say the word fact sheet and like date when you say the word data it just makes so much
more sense than you doing comedy. You know what they?
To new friends.
I don't find them that pleasant to be around.
I guarantee you won't want to leave.
Speak no evil is filled with teeth clenching, seek clawing suspense.
Something's not right with him.
I've always wanted a family like yours.
James McVore will scare you speechless.
Oh! You're going to kill us. We're just sad to family like yours. James McAvoy will scare you speechless. Oh!
Here you're going to kill us.
We're just sad to see you go.
Speak no evil.
Only in theaters now.
Your mom hates it when you leave six half-full glasses on your nightstand.
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And it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365-plus glasses for just 999. th-9. th-9. th-9. th-9.. th-9. th-9. th-nine-nine-nine-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-o-like. We th-like. We' thins thins thins thi-like. We thi-like thi-like thi-like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th-like th-like th-like th-like th-like th-like th-like th-like the the the the the thi-like thi-nip thi-like the-nipen the-just the thease thease the thease thea thean thean thi thi th country, and it's an even better thing that you can get six IKEA 365 plus glasses for just 999.
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Have you been to NCT?
No, no, we've done sort of like an online course a bit,
but I don't, I'm not a very sociable person really.
No, no, I know.
And so I don't know, did you do it?
Yeah, but we did it in a weekend, so it wasn't that social.
Because we almost just blasted it out, if you know what I mean?
Right.
Are the people that get long-term friends are the ones that do like every Tuesday night for two months kind of thing.
Do you know what I mean? We did every Saturday for like three or four weeks and it was good
because it was like what's that group and it was it was good to have a support group where you know
you could message someone and they're going through exactly the same kind of thing where you
message your mates have got five too at the time, so like teething, you like, or colic, the word colic I've not thought about for five years, but at the time
it will dominate your entire life and you'll be like, yeah, because of the colic obviously, it's,
you know what colic's like. And at the time it feels like the most important thing the world, because it's the things thing thing thing thing thing thing things things things things things, things, things, things, the the the the things, the tho the word the word the word the word the word the word, I the word, I the word, I' the word, I've not the word the word, I've not, I've not, I've not, I've not the word, I've not the word, I've not the word, I the word, I the word, I the word, I the word, I the word, I the word, I the word the word the word the word, I the word the word the word, I the word, I the word, I the word, I the word, I the word, I the word, I the word, I the word, I've not, I've not, I've not, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, I've not the word, the word, the word, the word, I've not, the word, the word know what it is anymore, Joel, and I'll have to like, Google it. But so, what's good about the NCT is, is someone near your house that's going through
the same thing that you can go, do you want to get a coffee tomorrow?
Right.
Have you got any kids near your house?
No.
As in people. I've called up a seven-year-old and we're just hanging out. I have, this has been the profound thing that's happened to me I think because suddenly
you're sort of having to assess who your friends are, where they live, you know, and it hasn't
just made me think like, oh have I got any friends with kids nearby? I just don't think I've got any friends. Oh, man. Like, it's, I'll be honest. I'll be honest. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've the, I've the, I've the, I've, I've th, I've th, I've the, I've the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th. th. th. that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, that, I've that, thi, th. th. I just don't think I've got any friends. Oh, Joe.
Oh, man.
Like, it's, I'll be honest, when I said that out of my mouth,
I thought I was going to elicit a laugh.
But instead it just was gone.
How sad?
You're sympathy.
Well, no, you've, you're a dad now.
Yeah.
That's what happens. Yeah. You've made a friend.
Well, I think, do you know what it is? I've felt the same as you when the baby come?
Because as a comic, your own little weld. You go off, you work alone, you travel alone,
you go and do, yeah, your own little island. And then also because your social,
your schedule's off, you're never about Saturday Sundays, you're like, you know, and I think, you know, Tuesday afternoon is when you and Hannah might go for a dinner or meal or whatever.
So it's like you are a bit doing your own little thing, but what will happen is you will build
those networks and friends over time through your kids because you'll end up going to the same
swimming lessons and then they start school and then you meet a couple of the other dads and then you end up just being friends with people just live near your house and it feels so alien but it does happen.
She was like, oh you just, you'll be fine you would just like meet people.
I'm like where?
She's like when you meet and when you've got a pram in the park I'm like, that sounds
like dogging.
Like that's a different. Well, that's what the NCT is quite, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it, it, it's, it, it, it's, it, it, it, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. ththe NCT is quite good, it's sort of entry level. But you live over in West London, don't you?
Yeah, Southwest London, yeah.
So it's like, couldn't be further from both of you.
Yeah, I know.
Well, come around anyway, come around and just, you know,
well, I'll be your friend, Joel.
I'd love that. So like now, we've got a lot of friends that we've, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, like, like, like, so, like, so, like, like, like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, so, so, so, to, so, so, so, so, to, so, so, to, so, so, so, so, so, so, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. to, th. to, th. to, th. to, th. th. th. played. Because that's the thing. If you find ones with your kids...
Two of our good friends are like, their daughter's best friends with my daughter and we're
still friends with them now.
Is that what happens?
So basically who your kids become friends with, you then become friends with their
I prefer, because I'm better, you know, I'm an adult.
I've got better social skills than than than thk thkto make the effort with a parent rather than to meet up with a parent
and then the kids to have to make the effort together.
That would be, I mean I'm happy both way but that is, I find easier.
Yeah, so we stumbled on a very lucky one. It was in holiday, and these our two kids, the two kids in the pool. tho. tho. tho. tho. their their their their. their. their, their, their, their, tho. their, their, their, their, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, their, I'm, their, I's, I's, their, their, their, and then, and then, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. I. I. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their in the pool and then you end up chatting to the other parents literally because I think
we've got one of your toys oh what's your kid call you know because it's just
you know you just will and then they got on really well then we got on
really well with them and then we end up going back to the same place on holiday with, or one parent will be right, but you don't like the other one, or you love both
parents but the kids are dick and you're sort of forcing it, but then your kids are like, I don't
like playing with that kid. So you sort of let we sort of led by what the kids do, but for the first year or two, thii. th. thin, it it, it, it, it, it's, it's, to basically, to basically, to basically, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, to, their, their, th, th, tho, thr, their, tho, th, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, their, or, or, or, their, or, their, or, their, their, or, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, their, th....... their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, but you know, you can just take, you can just
take the baby anywhere, really, especially up to about six, seven, eight months before
start crawling and walking, and you just push them around and feed them and they'll sleep.
So.
It's absolutely mental.
I know.
Like the whole thing is absolutely wild. Like the whole thing is ridiculous.
Like I can't, I can't believe it's a thing.
And it's gonna be your life now forever.
Oh my.
And you have this thing that's just gonna be part of you.
Like because at the moment you sell your house, you sell your car, you change your job.
It doesn't really matter.
At the time you might feel like, oh's a bit of not but there's going to be this thing now that orbits you forever that matters more than anything
you've ever known yeah and not to be scary but it's lovely to have I remember
two weeks in I was exhausted and I just I came back I think I'd been doing a
day on the last leg or something in town came back and I was like oh my god
the evening begins now.
Like, this isn't a relax.
I remember sitting on my sofa with my head and my hands.
And my mother-in-law said,
the thing is, you're only ever as happy as your unhappiest kid.
And at that point, I thought, I've made a mistake.
This was an error.
This was an error.
Did you still have the face paint on from Kermit the Frog?
Yeah, it was one of those moments.
Oh wow.
But I would say anyone that says it doesn't get easier, it just gets difficult in different ways,
is fucking bullshitting.
It is the first year or two is the tough bit.
That's a really tough bit.
And it gets really, like that bit's fun and they're cute, but it's graft because it's constantly
like they need this, they need that and they don't know anything but now like my kids
are seven and five and even, and it's been like this way since the youngest was about three or four it's just fun and like you know you you you you you you you you you you you you you you they.. they. they. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's been like th. It's been like th. It's been like th. It's been like, you're that's been like that's been like, you're that's been like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,. And like, you know, you say you haven't got any friends, you don't really need friends. You just go out in your gang and go, right, kids should we go here?
And they'll love it.
Go, oh, you could take them to the surf lessons, teach them, Nunchaks.
All those fun things that you like doing, you lucky that I feel like it's come a lovely time in my life and
I know and sort of my career and I feel like I feel like it's a lovely point in our relationship
and I just feel like so lucky.
You mean you didn't want this to happen well me and you were playing party piece every
Tuesday night.
I'm a party piece.
It's like a little open mic gig that we all used to do on a Tuesday. I once went on stage at party piece and when I got off stage someone had knicked my coat
in my back.
Oh my God!
Sorry about that, it was an early part of my career.
It's been an absolute joy as we expected.
Genuinely when you came to the Cardiff show because you were in town doing a corporate,
that was a real moment for me because it just felt like like like the the the like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. like it.. like it. It felt like it felt like it felt like it felt like it the like like it the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their.. their. their.. I I I I their... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's the. I the. I the. I the. I to to to to to to to to to to the. I was, it sounds a bit, but that was a real moment for me
because it just felt like,
it felt really weird, like we'd all done,
grown up and done really well
and we were all really enjoying ourselves.
And that was one of the highlights of the tour for me,
where I felt like, fucking out.
We did used to do party piece.
Well yeah, we all worked in,. the shitty, do shitty we're all like 22, 23 and now we're all grown-ups of
children it's quite it's quite odd in it but it's so bizarre. Do what sad is I
still in my head think of myself as like the lad's in American pie but now I
know that I'm the dad. I'm Eugene Levy. I'm Eugene Levy. And Joel, Joel's Stifler's mom.
But Joel, we'll get you on and probably Hannah as well once the baby's out.
Once it's there, that'd be great.
I love that.
I've said it to you when I came to you live, but I'm so proud of you boys.
Oh, Frank, John.
And it's a absolute dream.
I listen to you all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all to to to to to to their to to and I listen to you all the time and I read
your words to my wife in bed.
Oh yeah that's great.
So that's actually got a bit creepy now.
It's like the funny part was when you know in like some points in the book you would
do like the question and answer things like so like yeah.
Ros and Lou would ask you questions. So like Rose and Lou. that was th. the the the the the the the the they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're thi. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. I I th. I th. I's. I's. I's th. th. th. I's th. th. th. th. th. that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's hard bit to read because then you've got to differentiate between the voices.
Were you doing the voices?
I then had to sort of get into it a bit because then you got to know who's speaking.
Oh, can you have a little blast of your voices for each of us and for Lou and Rose?
And then you have to do your mom and dad. They'll have to do your mom and dad at one point where I'm going like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so anyway so anyway so anyway so anyway oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so the so the so the so the so the so the so the so anyway I I I I'm so anyway I'm so anyway I'm so anyway I'm so anyway I'm so I'm so anyway I'm so I'm so anyway I'm so anyway I'm so anyway I'm so anyway I'm so anyway I'm so anyway I'm so anyway I'm going I'm going dead, I'm getting into my cab. Yeah, what's in my dad pulls some pairs? You know, and then you know, it's,
and then no if it was doing Josh,
she was just like, oh, oh, you know.
That's an easy one.
That's an easy one.
Madam two souls.
I loved all the bits in the book.
Everyone go by the book.
It's a really good book. there already. He's lovely. Have you got anything to plug Joe? You got a tour on or is
it more more than something? So if the start podcast is, we never have ever, we do a new thing
every week that we've never done together before. And genuinely we started it as a thing where
we kind of thought we possibly, maybe have a child at some point. And so we thought like let's just do everything we can like before we have children so we know what's the th to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to the to to to the to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. I their. I their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their. their their their their their their their to. So. So. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, their their thought like, let's just do everything we can, like before
we have children, so we know what's fun to do with the children. Do you know what I mean?
And then also like other stuff, just try and get everything out the way basically. And now obviously,
Hannah's pregnant, there's some stuff that she can't. Also, that's why you never like, you can do an episode on breastfeeding when the baby arrives.
Yeah, it's the first week.
Yeah, exactly, and everything's new.
Yeah, that's an episode.
I tell you what, I've some weird thing surfing.
I like kind of enjoyed it, but also, it's kind of like just queu-in' thinne. You're just waiting for other people. Well, I've got good news for you, Joel.
I've got good news.
You're not going surfing for another five years at least.
Joel, thanks so much, mate.
Good luck in the podcast and obviously the berth.
And send her love to Hannah.
Thank you so much.
It's been a joy.
Cheers, mate.
That was Joel, tho'. Do you know what got me though that hurt
really deep was like because I've been sort of doing a lot of walking like I've
mentioned you don't get a chest like this from walking yeah yeah that I
feel like he's got that written on his wall when I was like I won't have
time to do my exercise and then like I said oh you can do some walking I just realized oh there's levels to this yeah and and getting your 10 10 10 10 10 thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous th. thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous thous. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tho. tho. the. tho. the. tho. the. the. the. realized, oh, there's levels to this. Yeah.
And getting your 10,000 steps a day basically just maintains whatever weight you are.
Your 10,000 steps a day, which I'm big into.
I'm a huge fan of walking.
It's basically 200 cows.
Yeah, there's nothing.
And he has got tits.
Yeah, rock hard. All right. I think that's enough, isn't th isn't th isn't that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thoomoomoomoomoomoomoomooma. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. that's that's that's tha. that's tha. tha. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. tha. tha. tits. Yeah. Little rock hard. All right, I think that's enough, isn't it?
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
What a time to be alive?
And not in a good way.
Pringles are $3.99.
You have to scan a barcode to see the menu at a restaurant.
Why are there so many apps?
Why is everyone filming everything?
You've now got to pay five pounds just to drop someone off at the airport.
Piers Morgan. I drive home in a car, I can't afford to run, to cook food, I can't afford to eat,
in a house I can't afford to live in. I'm Sean Walsh and I'm Paul McCaffrey. And if you've been
annoyed by anything that you've heard in thirty. And. why not listen to the brand new series of our hit podcast, What's Upset You Now?
Here's another thing, podcasts that are three hours long.
Not this one. No.
This is two 15-minute episodes a week, one with me and Paul and one with guests
like Romish Ranganathen, Rob Beckett, Pete, Pete Dockertie, and Josh Whitakie, Whitaker and Catherine Ryan. So go to wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe to what's upset you now.
Pst, it's me, Alan.
There's no place like London's Hackney Empire this September, or so I'm told.
With shows from free of the UK's top comedians.
Join team captain of eight out of ten Katz does countdown, John Richardson,
recent I'm a celebrity get me out of here Out of Here star Sean Walsh, and me, Alan Carr.
We're all visiting Hackney Empire this September with our critically acclaimed tour shows.
Ooh la d'a tickets available from Hackney Empire.co. UK.
See them my loves!