Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S8 EP27: Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavoured Water
Episode Date: April 9, 2024More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond... with Rob and Josh. This week we catch up with your listener questions and correspondence. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode features chat about the ...tooth fairy. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
And I'm Josh Winnockham.
Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting,
each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales
of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us
know what we're doing.
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Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with.
Indy, can you say, Rob?
Josh.
Where they come? Can you say Rob?
Can you say Rob?
Beckett.
Can you say Michael?
Good girl.
Nice, lovely.
I know I'm a broken record but a North American, saying our names, I feel like I'm on holiday.
Do you feel like you've made it?
I feel like I'm a passport control. you know where you get to like immigration?
Yeah. And then they, right Rob, Rob, right back, you know, that's me! I'm here, yes.
They, I know I don't want to be a cliche, Rob, I don't want to be hack.
Well, we are. Chuck us a fucking, the sma, the fucking's the most stressful one. Oh, compared to Spain. Spain's so chilled.
I don't, well, not as chilled as it was for obvious reasons. Yeah. Hi Rob. Josh and Michael.
Yes. I have one and a half year old Indy having to go at your names. I love the podcast and... We've just had the worst conversation ever Rob. Are you're right? They're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to thooooooo. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S.? They're from Dublin. Pardon? Okay do they know they're from Dublin,
oh they're from Dublin, ohio.
No, I'm playing that again. What the hell are they talking about? They're Irish?
Unless they're from Dublin, Ohio. Oh, this is Ben.
I'm sorry. Indy. Can you say Josh?
Where to come?
Where'd they come?
Can you say Rob?
Rocket.
Beckett.
Can you say Michael?
Good girl.
Yeah, they're Irish, actually.
Yeah, they are Irish.
What happened there? What happened there? What happened there? What happened there, Josh?
I know that was bad, but we got a great riff out of it about how fish are the...
It's not racist, so is it? No, no, not racist.
What would have been racist? Welsh and Chinese? Yeah, I don't know why that'd be
ra- It's just a mistake. Just a mistake. I just yeah, just sounded quite American.
Also obviously that children's accents are a little bit all over the place. Yeah. So they're from Dublin.
So they're from Dublin. Sure, absolutely. They're from Dublin. I love the podcast. But I have to stop listening in the car because I've to the ta. I ta their ta. thanks now now now now now th th th th th th th th th th tho' thin thin thin thin ta. thin thin thin thin their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. they're listening to American podcast as well, that's why they sound American. Yeah, that'll be it. Yeah. It is a bit swearing this, but I just can't not. No.
It's just part of me. I'd try. I'm from the streets. If I'm relaxed and honest, I'm
swearing. So it's very different. I don't want to start restricting myself, you know, I want to be able to express myself. to be to be to be to express my myself. to express myself. to be to express myself. to express myself. to be to express myself. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I just. I th. I just. I just. I just. I just th. I just th yeah, yeah, that as well. Just stick that on the end of it. Yeah. Sorry if your kids are swore. They're going to find out anyway at some point, are they?
Yeah, fucking little pricks. I did a corporate last night, Josh. I swear quite a lot. Corporate. It was quite a geysery industry. I don't want to say the exact awards. Why do they book you? Well? Why they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they book you. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. They they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked you. Why. Well. Why they booked you. Why they booked you they booked you they booked you they booked you. Why. They're they booked you. Why. They they book. They they book. Why. Why. They they they they they they they they they. Why. Why. Why. Why. They they they they they booked. Why. Why. They they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked? They booked? They booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they booked they. They booked they. They booked they booked me because the host said for the previous 10 years was someone else.
Oh, glorious.
Beep it out, Michael.
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Incredible!
Incredible!
Anyway, so it was this industry, it was quite blokey.
And I sort of did the stand off at the beginning, which was fine. Did a little hack stuff there was a table for AA
and I went AA you're here and they cheered and I was like oh good for them to
be on time. Oh Rob. I absolutely ripped it wanting to kill myself. Just hand
over the check to Rob here. I know what we actually
would get. Is it big? Is it clever? No. Am I artistically stretching my legs? No. But I've got 15
minutes to feel here and then at 36 awards. Yeah. That's done. It was all right. But this is what I find
quite difficult is. When you do the awards, normally you go right, next award, and we've got
so and so from one of the sponsors sponsors sponsors sponsors sponsors sponsors sponsors sponsors sponsors sponsors sponsors then I would go right and the nominees are and then there was like a
voice of good guy doing all the shortlist yeah yeah then I'm just sort of
stood with the person yeah most of them all right but the more geyser in
the industry are more drunk now they yeah I get that all the time I was like okay and then
they're like yeah I said you're shorter that I thought you and used to go was
well I've got no preconceived about ideas about your hikes I don't know
the fuck you are but that is unnecessarily combative so now I'd just go all right okay and then so that was going that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that that the that the that the th. that th. I was th. I was tho tho tho the the the tho. I was like tho. I was like tho. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was like I was like I was liked. I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like the the the the th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I'm th. I was like th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I was like. I was like. I was like. I. So now I was going, all right, okay. And then so that was going on, and it's quite exhausted, like every one that's come,
it's like Blind Day in Hecklers.
How many awards?
Well, 36?
So it's 36 micro-interactions on a stage.
36 awards?
Yeah.
That's a lot of awards.
I know, anyway.
That's a lot of awards. Have a long odd look in the mirror. They've given you ample opportunity It's your fault and then they'll do this like what's the world at the end they do the lifetime
achievement one or whatever right yeah like the big bosses come out he's reading this out
And they're all chatting and thingy in up but listening they've had a bit more attention to this one. It's a big award. Then I'm stood with this bloc I that I'm stood this b just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just don't just just don't just the the the the the the the the th the the the the the tho the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th their their old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old the old old old old the old old the old their their their their their their their their he's announcing the lifetime achievement. He literally went in your shit driving because of the Robin Rumish Formula One.
I went, all right, yeah, yeah.
You went, fucking L, car reverse, can you?
I'm like, now I couldn't, in that 20 second click, you say,
what do you say?
Boss I'm trying to be polite.
Also, mate, that's a fun understand this, but if I could reverse,
that's not making the show.
I did like rubber rubbish this week, I'm just parking perfectly.
Yeah, really good.
I'm sort of like being polite, I'm sort of going, all right, yeah, no, I'm not very good
at driving whatever and then just trying to be, because everyone's watching.
I don't want to look rude. to be, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, I's, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, some achievement in their industry. Then he goes, if I was you, I'd have to take the piss out of that bloke's clothes.
He looks shit. This bloke had like a little bow tie on a big cumberband.
They looked like penguin from Batman.
And he pointed at this boak, he probably was about 28. He was in perfect shape,
had like a beige smoking jacket and with black lapels. He looked like, to to their to to their to to to their their to their their th. I I I I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was in th. I was in th. I was in th. I was in th. I was like th. I was in thi thi thi th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I th. I th. I th. He was like, th. He was like, th. He was like, th. He was like, th. He was like, th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He was like, th. He was like, th. He's th. He's thi. He's like, thi. He's like, thi. He's like, thi thioleaughea. He's like, thiolooooooooooooooooooooooooooousers, these white sort of socks and like shiny loafers. He looked like Timothy
Shalamae, what's his name? Shalamae? That bloke, yeah. I was looking at him and I
think he looks actually quite cool. He went, I think I think he looks to shit. I went, I was wearing black shoes and dark navy blue suit with a white shirt and a blue
tie.
Right, very smart.
Right, so literally the first thing, like, because that's what I'd wear to a cork.
No, a basic bloke going to a smart event.
It couldn't be more, run of the mill, normal, boring man at the waltz do trying to just blend into the background, alright? Yeah. He went, you're wearing a stupid tie.
It's a stupid tie.
Yeah, he went, you should be wearing a dickie bow.
Good, smart.
And by then, I know enough, I went, I just think you look like a sad man from the 80s.
Ha ha ha!
This is happening while their guts out. So is the guy doing the speech as you two are having this conversation? We're directly behind him on the
big screen. Oh my God. To a 1,500 people in his room. Oh my God. And he went, what do you
say? And I'm like, oh God, he's not going to be a fight is it? I went, well you don't like his clothes. I went, well, that's not to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the their. their their their their their their their their their their their tho' their their tho' thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their. their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tooooooooooooooooome. the. thea. thea. theate. thea. thi some sad man from the 80s. Then he went, well I am from the 80s. And I went, well, that'll be it then.
Please welcome to the stay.
Oh my God.
But by that point, I'm so tired. I'm like, you have to deal with so many little things of some,
anyway, it's funny. So few days because I've been working late.
I see him in the morning, but it's quite hard to, they're coming to see me, but I'm so like, I feel like I'm drunk, you know when you're so tired and you're like waving. And then my daughter had a tooth
too too too came out and when I was at work, Lou messed me and she went to sleep. In the morning we got woken up at six with a crying child because a tooth fairy hadn't been. Oh no. So we had to sort of calm her down and
sort of like explaining it was like maybe her bag's too full and she was like
well she doesn't got a bag she's magic I was like oh god. Come on.
Come on. It's very hard to be put the tooth then it was just in the cup and then it was in the
sink when we were at Cabo? Oh yeah, yeah you thought you lost it. Yeah, so my daughter came in there, about a week ago. In the morning she'd lost a tooth. She walked in with, she was, where she was, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, th. th. And, th. And, and th. And, and th. And, th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and was, and was, and was, and was, and was, and was, and was, and was, and was, and was, the, the, the, the, the, the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thin, th. And, th. And, th. And, and th. And, and was, and was, and was, th. bed, pop that in there, dealt with. Two days it sat there.
Rose was away so she was sleeping on.
Sorry for laughing as you told me your wife was away again. After a while catch phrases, I'll catch phrases for a reason.
Also, loads of people have asked me. I've had people ask him in the street.
This was ages ago you mentioned it,
but did Rose wash the grill?
Yeah, I didn't, so I presume she did.
Right, okay.
Yeah.
But you've not mentioned it, I said, well done.
I'm not going to say well done.
I'd say it's best to put the whole put in the bin? I haven't checked that.
So you haven't seen it for a bit?
I haven't seen it for a bit.
Okay, fair enough.
All right, exactly.
So roses away.
Put it in the pine glass.
Yeah, people are going to go.
People are going to go.
I'm getting to say, the the the the the the the to to to's someone at the door. Do you want to get it? I think Lou's got it.
No, I'm not getting up.
I've told Lou, I'm busy.
I think it's a carpet person and I said no, I'm working.
And I said no I'm working, she went, working? I was like, well, chatting to Josh, I'm penalized for the the to enjoy, I'm working, I'm working, I'm working, I'm working, I'm working, I'm working, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I..... I. I. I. I. I. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not. tot. tot. totally. totally. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. I No, I totally agree. That's the problem with work that you enjoy. But then I'm penalized for enjoying my job.
Exactly right.
Not only penalized, just rolled her eyes.
Long story short, go on.
I'd put the glass in the dishwasher.
Hadn't the dishwasher on yet.
No. I had to phone Rose who was here. the tooth, th the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, just, just th, just th, just th, just th, just the th, just the th, just the thoomomomom's the their thoome, just thoomorrow, just thoomor thoom. thoomomor thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing, just thoing, just thoing, just thoing, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, just just just just just just just, just th, just th, just th, just th, just th, just th. thi thi the thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-s their their their the the th. th dishwasher. Oh obviously because it fell out as you turned it. Yeah. She found it. I couldn't believe my life. This tooth does not want to get lost, is it?
No. That's two teeth. I've done the same thing basically. So it's two separate teeth?
Two separate teeth. So you did it once on the holiday and then you've done it once another tooth fairy come? Yeah, yeah. that. th th th th th th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th th. But th. But th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th. th. th the the tho tho that that is tho tho their tho tho tho tho thoooo tho tho tho tho th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's is is is is is is is is th. th. That's is is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It with them. Yeah we're keeping them is weird isn't it? Really weird, yeah.
Why are we doing that?
So we never kept our oldest.
Also I found out if you're in Disney when you lose your tooth and you put it under the
pillow and right and no, they bring like little gifts from Tinker Bell. Oh, oh! It's like, that little thing they do. Can you hear people? Can you hear that? Can you hear people you hear people you hear people you hear that? that? that? that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th tho that thi that thathea tho tho their their their their their their their their their their their thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. loud? Because they've got to have a laugh, haven't they?
Yeah, and I hope it's like, he literally walks in the finger and went,
hello, I've got the carpet!
But I suppose they're not working near anyone, except you.
It's very rare someone's recording a podcast in the next room.
And it's so embarrassing to tell them.
Yeah, excuse me. Do you mind keeping it down't to keep just talking to my friend about his daughter's teeth.
He didn't keep the oldest, but the youngest. Lou's keeping them. I was happy just to get rid.
But Lou has actually said something that's concerning. Because it's our baby. It's our youngest.
And I feel that's the first signs of panicking that you haven't got these little babies anymore. This is the danger the the the the the the the the the the danger the danger th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho the the thin' theateateat's the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. the. te. te. to to to to to to to to to te. to to te. to to te. te. the te. te. the te. these little babies anymore. This is the danger zone of potentially pumping out another kid. Yeah. This is the part where most parents start
yearning for those little cute babies, where now we've got two girls. I'm resolutely not. But when
your wife's keeping teeth, you've got to think, is she switching in the head? Does she want to go again?
Oh my word. What would you do if Lou said, we need to go again?
Need toes?
I'd ask what need?
I feel biologically like a need to have a third child.
I'm going to do it with you or without you.
Do you want it?
Oh, so how would without work?
She'll just get go right then. But I'd go, all right then, but you've got to do more of the nights if you really want one.
Because I'm on the fence, like looking at the fence,
not even on the fence, but if she's over the fence
and wants another one,
I'm like, right yeah I find it weird
she's keeping them. I just don't want to have to get a new car. I don't think
that's the biggest problem. When I've got friends that what three or four kids
when I'm looking their eye the car is so down on the list of things that they're concerned about. Do you think it's just impossible? They just all look to thi. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I just thi. I just thi. I just thi. I just thi just thi just thi just thi just thi just thi just thi just thi's just thi's just thi's just thi just thi. I just just just just thi. I just just just just just thi. I just just just just just thi just thi just thi just thi just thi just thi just thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I just thi. I just thi. I just don't thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I just don't thi. I just don't thi. I just don't thi's just don't thi's just thi. I just th one that's two and a half, but fucking out. I don't want to have to do that. It's three and a half years of your life.
Yep, and pregnancy and all that.
Yep, so no, not for us.
No, I think I've done.
Good on you if you're doing it.
Yeah, so you're keeping the to teeth.
Yeah, yeah.
Where?
It's where where where tried to get rid of the teeth twice in the sink.
You're not one of life's hoarders.
There's so much shit behind you.
I know.
Look, what I'm doing at the moment, Rob?
What you doing at the moment?
I've got a new phone.
Okay. So, I've currently without phone, because it's doing the thing where it moves all the stuff from one phone to the other phone. Did you back up before you did the switchover?
Did you do an iCloud backup?
What does that mean?
Oh no.
Is you joking?
No, I'm not.
Have you done the WhatsApp backup?
What?
You're in a pickle here?
Now, if you haven't done the I-cloud to call completely fucked. Oh no. However, I imagine your phone automatically does it if it's plugged in on Wi-Fi, so you might
be lucky.
Yeah.
If you haven't done the WhatsApp backup and you haven't saved all your pictures and photos,
they're all in the cloud.
No, but anything that's on WhatsApp.
Is this what Boris Johnson did?
Well, one of the things, yeah. But is this what he claims to have done?
Yeah, so, and it is defense, I don't want to go around defending Bojo, because I think
it's probably bollocks, what he said, but it happened to me where I made sure my eye
cloud was up to date, but I didn't make sure my WhatsApp was backed up. If I scrolled back up, their WhatsApp, their WhatsApp is just like a weirder, th, no photo. Does my WhatsApp not just back up as it goes?
No, no, no, no, no.
Absolutely not.
I'm too far in now, aren't I?
Well, yeah, you don't know.
You should have to just deal with it.
It said time remaining about 59 minutes.
It said that for 10 minutes.
So if when I go to my Cloud backup was last backed up, when was it? My last backup was 1 a.m. today on my eye cloud.
Why?
Because it was plugged in and on Wi-Fi.
So it automatically backs up like every day.
So did you unplug it at a 1 a.m.
Now I think I might have plugged it in.
I got in late last night.
Right, yeah. So then it backs up all the information.
So I got in about the pictures. keep supposed to be, but our WhatsApp doesn't automatically... Oh fuck. So if I go to, let's have a look at this, right?
So if I go to like my pictures on a group, yeah.
If I scroll back to the beginning, it sort of looks a bit like that.
You can see those little blue...
Oh no.
So there's some photos there, but loads of videos aren't.
But why do I need old photos and videos from WhatsApp? I don't know, but also the messages won't be there either if you've not backed up.
Why do I need old messages?
Well, I don't know to scroll back.
You do, don't you?
It does happen.
And sometimes I assert the message.
Oh God.
So you might be lucky.
to be lucky.
to be the inquiry to find out. Too bloody right, I'm in for the inquiry next week actually.
I'd love to see you be inquired.
Oh my God, it would be deserved.
If you got caught up in something that wasn't really your fault, but it was really bad
and you had to answer those questions.
The flapping of your hands, you'd get so red and so hot.
It would be so funny to watch.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. to be, thi. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be so, to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so thi. to be so to be so to the. to to to the. to to to to to the too. too. toe. toe. to to to to to be so to be so to be to to watch. Whereas you just go for them. Well, you look like a prick as well, mate.
No, I don't know what I'd do.
I think I'd completely crumble.
If I was like set up for something I didn't do,
I think I'd completely crumble.
But I think you'd try and talk your way out of it,
but visibly be like clapping and stuff.
Yeah, oh, God, it'd it be it be it be it be before you ask, yes, I have searched it for fluff. What? Is the charging hole. The charging hole is fucked. Oh, right. I thought that was a term
of phrase for pornography. And everyone is like, everyone you tell, not that I've told that many people.
Yeah. It's like, you've got fluff in it. I'm like, I've checked for fluff. I've checked for fluff. Did you took th. th. th. th new phone anyway because it's dying. Its battery is so weak. I reckon it's a three-hour battery,
but currently you have to have the charger just so to make it charge. It was 57 minutes.
But okay, Josh, Josh, I'm going to speak further the listeners. We don't care. Ha! Because then every time we're talking, I feel like. I'm going the the the th. I'm going the th. I'm going the th. I'm going the the the the the the the the the the to to the the the the to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to speak. I've their. I've to speak. I've to speak. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I's. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm going. I'm going to. I'm going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I'm going th. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I ha ha. Because then every time we're talking I feel like you're going to jump in over 56 minutes.
I wish.
Anyway I've got two weeks to get it back to that.
This is how busy my life is.
Two weeks to get what back?
Yeah, I get 400 quid for my own old phone from Apple.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah. You know this phone to phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone phone the thoom p p p p p p p p poom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoomoom. thoomoomoomoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to-phone upgrade thing, yeah, it's the first time I've ever done it because I've never had
a working phone when I've bought a new phone before. Always normally wait until
it's totally dad. So is this a gadget show?
I don't know what you want me to say? Just telling you the situation I'm in. Okay, and how's it feel?
Well, you're good until you told me
I'm gonna lose all my WhatsApp's.
I can screenshot all our conversations
and send them to you.
If you could, yeah, yeah.
That would be good.
That would be good.
It's mostly you said, last leg meeting is running over. Yeah, but I had to email that today because my phone is just out of, yeah.
I'm living alive without a phone.
I've got two phones, neither of them are usable.
My phone wasn't working.
My phone wasn't working.
my to a gigging to tootin the tutin the other day.
And then for some reason my satin on my car, but that weren't working. So I sat and having the car weren't working. Awesome.
So I had to just drive to Tootin using road signs.
Oh my God.
I felt that was in the 80s.
What was it like?
How did you do it?
It was quite exhilarating, actually.
It was quite fun because I felt like I was actually doing something, like being aware. to try and to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to just to to to to to to to to to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was just, I was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thea.. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. today, I was just, I was just today, today, today, today, thea. I was you know we always keep, oh another 30 minutes, another 28 minutes, I wasn't there to look at. I knew how to get to Crystal Palace
from Bromley so I just followed the signs to Tooten. Wow! God that's
incredible. It felt great. Because that's the thing people will ask me, oh what
route did you tak? Yeah. Or they'll say have you got a recommended route? You know, like, if my dad's coming to visit, what route do you reckon I should go?
I go, put it in a sat-nav?
That's the quickest route.
Well, that is my bug bear with taxi drivers.
When they go, what route should I go?
I'm like, mate, you've got one fucking job.
Right. You're going to have to step up and up up up and up and an up and to to to step and to step and to step and to step and to step and to step and to step and to to to to step and to to to to to the to the to the their and to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their with. their with. their with. their with. their with. their with. their with. their with. their with. their with. their their their taxaxax. taxe. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. taxxxx. taxx. ta. taxxx. taxxxx. ta. taxxxxxx. ta. to drive. If I know Metaer and you, what are you doing in your job?
Get on the apps.
I don't mind travel jumping into the songs on the radio.
Do you know what?
When I did Zoe Ball the other day, Robbent.
Pardon?
When I appeared on the Zoe Ball breakfast show the other day.
Yeah, yeah. There's that lovely man. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the raitly. Richie? Oh yeah, I love him. From Birmingham.
Yeah, always wear skinny jeans and a new bomber jacket.
Yeah, yeah, he's great.
Was that me or Mott the Week?
Yeah, he is.
Chips in too much.
But I couldn't help thinking, why is the travels?
Why is the travel still being read on the radio? the radio. I know and it's also I get it if it's local radio and it's like
Bedfordshire yeah or Lincoln where you can do those roads but radio too is
the whole country they'll go oh it's a towar back in Glasgow and the road
into Cornwall slow yeah I'm like it's too far apart yeah
yeah who the fuck in 2024 is waiting for the travel to come on radio too.
And I didn't give this guy, because he's really good, Richie.
Oh, it's great.
He needs to not be doing the travel.
He needs to be doing a show.
And I think he does it off messages that have been sent in by the listeners.
Yeah.
That can't be the right way.
I got to do your research. Sure he's got like some sort of satellite or check those little webcams on the motorways.
I mean if people haven't got a satnav, right, more people have got a satnav than haven't.
If you need directions just email in radio to and they'll sort you out. Yeah that's a better thing if
Richie goes I got a letter from Susan she wants to go to Glasgow I'd take the M5.
Now next Wednesday at 8 o'clock,
I've got to be at so.
And then he just tells him a route.
Yeah, exactly, fine.
Also, what's weird on that Radio 2 breakfast show
is sometimes they have like thought of the day.
And you're like having a right old laugh at Sue Barker
telling a couple of stories Oh, is that who it is?
You knew I recognized her from TV.
But you're having a bit of a laugh with the other guests like that?
Never know where?
then like Reverend Kate.
Oh yeah, from Gogglebox.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Fogging some tickets for Sunday morning at the church.
Oh dear.
We did a Q&A call out, didn't we?
Should we do some cues?
So we've got correspondence and questions from the listeners.
What do you want to do? Some questions?
Why don't I do a question? You do a correspondence?
Absolutely, let's do that. You do questions, I do correspondence.
Okay.
Fucking hell. Some people go so deep.
Fairplay. LB.
Oh no, what is it? Where's it? Where's it? Where's it? Where's it?
Where's it? I've deleted all the today. to theyro'nip. to. to. There we go. No, because I bumped into Gabby Roslin,
and she says she's got absolutely no idea.
There was a mail merge problem and everyone got the wrong one.
Absolutely marketing genius.
Mailmerging sounds like sort of a Victorian word for homosexuality.
Well, apparently he's been male merging.
Hmm, quite the story.
Bloody wokeery at the BBC, you have to mail merge now if you want to get a shower.
That's how it works.
That's what I've heard on the forums.
That's what you've heard on Joey Barton's podcast.
Yeah, Joey Barton's podcast.
Matt Letitier told me.
All right.
When solo parenting, what's the most stressful situation you've ever found yourself in from John? Oh, I think I spoke about this ages ago. It's when Lou got rushed into hospital with pancreatitis.
Yeah. And I had to sort all the kids out, get me into school and stuff and I was on tour.
Yeah. And I had to sort all the dogs out, the kids, and then I got my dog stuck in a fence.
And I eventually got all the kids sorted down. I thinks, I the kids,. the kids, to, the kids, to, their, to, their, their, to, their, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, their, their, their, their, their, though, their tho, their tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, to thu, to to to to thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu thu to thuuuu. to to thuuuuuuu. thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu thu thu to to kids sorted down. I think Lou's mom might have been away and my parents were further away. So I had to ring all different friends from school,
get the dog out of the fence,
sort the dogs out of a dog walker,
and then I got, at this that was,
there was literally non-stop all day.
Then I got like in the car, and I took the to'n't went to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to the, to the, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, their their their their their their their their their their their their their the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, the, to to the a, the a, too-s, too-s, too-s, too-s, too-s, too-s, too-s, too-s, too-s, to-s, the toda, the the to-s, that's a strong one. Oh, or the other time was a kid's birthday party when both of my kids had a full meltdown.
Oh, that was a good one.
And it ended up with me carrying them both out under my arms,
like a strongman carrying logs.
With the coach around my shoulders,
their shoes I was biting to keep hold of,
and I was carried them out,
saying goodbye to them out. as they were kicking and screaming and I think one of the lovely parents still gave me a party bag that I hooked under one of my fingers whilst I was carrying
them out. That was horrible. Oh my gosh. My daughter still got some PTSD from
that and it's still a bit strange around birthday parties because everyone
laughed at her because she was having a strop and then she run in front of the
photo mid-strop. Can I ask you a question Josh? Yeah, obviously we'll get back to to your your your your your to your to your to your to your to your to your their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their their. their their their th. their. their. th. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I was. I was still still th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh............................................................................................................... a question Josh? Yeah, yeah. Obviously we'll get back to your answer for this one. How often do your children cry in a week? Not like
deeply upset or hurt, just you know when they sort of like, not if they get the
fingers traps or something like that, but in the morning getting ready like
because they want to wear something they can't find something or because mind are very emotional and I don't know if that's their.... their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their mind. their. their mind. to. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. that's normal. Yeah I suppose they, I mean much more than I would deem necessary. She's got my teddy and I want that teddy. And would there be actual
tears in that situation? It would be like, uh, daddy, she went in there and I wanted that?
Like, so not probably crime with that. Yeah, that happens a lot. Yeah, good. That's sort of the new voice now. th th th th th th th th th th th th of their their their th. That's sort their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tie. their. tie. today. their today. today. today. today. today. today. today. tod. tie. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. today. today. today, today, today. today. today. today. today. today. today. t I find. Right, yeah, yeah. But the other day I was like, I hope everyone's a bit like this.
And I haven't just got two children that are sad all the time.
Ha.
But they seem to have got happy, but they do get really ups.
They're distraught.
It's just a roller coaster being a kid, isn't it? Yeah, they do. Yeah, so it'll be over wanting the same thing. That'll enjoy having a bath together, but you can't get through the bath without
at least one total strop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's normally mornings and bedtimes,
this is. Yeah. In the day it's not too bad. What about you? What's the most
stressed you've been solo parenting? We ran out of Rye bread and I had to give them granary grannary gramam gramamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamam. was bad. I'm joking, I'm joking. I would say I got locked out. Yeah. It was the
first time I ever took my daughter out alone. I think it was snowing. Was
you going to park? I just went for a walk with the pram and then I got home and
we were locked out and it was ice cold. Oh no. And then I was walking along the street. I was just like I'm just going to have to just keep walking. And then I the the th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I'm I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that that that that that that that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was th. I was that th. I was th. I was that th. I was that th. I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was the the the the the the the the th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm just thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi was walking along the street. I was just like, I'm just going to have to just keep walking.
And then I bumped into someone who I vaguely knew as a friend of roses from when she was in her 20s.
From back home, like when she lived in Kingston. This is a sitcom in. Kingston, South West London,
not Kingston Jamaica. And he had a small kid and he was like, well you can come around to mine,
and we didn't know each other.
Oh, can you just go in a calf or something? No, because it was like I needed to check. It was just,
I can't remember. Also there's that weird five o'clock time where like cuffs are sort of shut in and
coffee shops and pubs aren't really open but it's or a restaurant's awkward with a kid. Yeah and the kid the kid the kid. The kids the kid. The kids. The kids. The kids. The kids. C. C. C. the kid. the kid. the kid. the kid. the kid. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's just just. It's. It's. It's. It's just. It's. It's just. It's. It's. It daughter couldn't like, she was crawling and you were like, oh right, that's not ideal for,
so it can't be the first time she was, no maybe she wasn't, I can't remember it
was early on anyway. Anyway for whatever reason I went back to his, he was really nice
and we all sorted it and he had his kid who was maybe three and my kid was this an ex an ex-boyfriend of Roses? No, not to my knowledge.
Just a friend from her 20s.
Yeah.
A male friend from her 20s.
He was like ripped and just in his pants.
Yeah, absolutely.
And it was like looking in a mirror for me and I was like, it's so weird she's got a type.
And then his child, that was the first time my daughter she caught it from his child because I'd locked myself out. I had to go to his house for two hours.
Once Lou, I was just when her youngest was really clingy and didn't really want me and
the to the doctor's so I was like no you go doctors, it was only like five ten minute drive
or a 30 minute walk. So Lou jumped in the car, went to the doctor's appointment, and then as soon she left, my daughter started crying. She must have been about six months old or something,
like just started crying. Yeah. And I was like, don't worry, she'll calm down when she'd gone,
she'll calm down when she'd gone, she'd not to try and try toto be, you know when you're like, tired and weak, right? And then I tried to make her scrambled egg but burn that and I'd run out of eggs and she didn't want it anyway.
And then it got to the point where the only thing I could do was I thou
thou. I thought I'm just going to have to take her to the doctors, but. But, the the to. the to. their, to. their, their, their, their, their, to, to, their, to, to, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too, to, to, to, too, too, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, to burn, to burn, and I'm, to burn, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to, to, to, and, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, too, too, too, cried all the way to the doctors. And then as I'm walking there, Lou's coming back from the doctors, but drove past us, but
didn't see us.
But my door saw Lou.
Oh God.
Oh, God.
So then I had to go back.
And then I went back.
And then I went home and she started panicking.
But I didn't get my phone out. to to to brought her home and just gave her to Lewin and she went upstairs.
That was horrible.
I forgot about that.
Yeah.
You just feel like what is the point of me?
This child doesn't even want me and I'm the dad.
Wait to the teenagers, mate.
Right, correspondence. Correspondence. Here we go. Dear Rob and Josh, I have a boomer story for you from my husband's side of the family.
When my husband was around nine, him and his three other siblings all had hamsters.
One day, my husband's mum gathered them all in the living room and told them to sit down.
She then asked everyone who had a hamster to stand up, which of course they all did. Then she told Mark, my husband's brother to sit back to sit sit sit sit sit sit sit the the to sit to sit the to sit to sit th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the thean. telling him that his hamster had died during the night. Oh my God!
Fucking how! That's from Katrina. So horrible, isn't it? Oh my word, that is bleak,
what? What's it? I thought I heard that vibrating, is that your house? There's a band saw outside. What's a band saw? What's it doing outside your house?
Well, it's building work going on somewhere.
How do you know what a band saw is, what is a band saw?
How do I know what a band saw is mate? Yeah. Because I'm a fucking bloke.
You're an absolute geaser. Yeah. How's your radioer as well, their is, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, th. th. their, th. th. th. their, th. their, th. tho, their, their, tho, what's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's their, what's thor. thorough, what's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's their their their their their their. What's their. What's thor. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's th. What's th. What's th. What's th. thi. thi. What's tho. tho. tho. thoooomsoa. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. What's the way because it's getting warmer you've got a jacket on your next to your radio is your window open or is it not on? No it's
not open because the band saw. It's on a little bit but because the house has
warmed up it's not coming on. It's not coming on. So you're gonna forget about
it aren't you? Yeah yeah yeah because it won't need to come on. Well we'll turn the heating off in about 48 minutes Rob I'll wait until your phones yeah
Respect do you want to do another question? Yeah
Alan Simpson. Yeah. What's the largest animal you could catch if it was humanely fired at you from a cannon from 50 meters away? What is that? Well, I think I could catch a cat? No, because they're all limby. They'll be trying to land. Yeah, you want something that's almost a dead weight? Yeah, they? that? Do. Do to? Do to? Do to? Do? Do to? Do? Do to? Do to? Do? Do? Do to to to to to to to to to to to do to do? Do? Do to do to do to do to do to do to do their their their their their to do their their their their their? Do another? Do another? Do another? Do another? Do another? Do another? Do another? Do an their their their their their their their their their their their? Do another? Do another? Do another? Do an their? Do their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Do th. Do the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an the an their th a cat? No, because they're all limmy.
They'll be trying to land.
You want something that's almost a dead weight but not too heavy.
Hamster?
That's quite small though.
Yeah, well, I'm just drawing the line and then we'll go up.
Do you think you could catch a rabbit?
Something the beach ball that's the weight of an animal is like a fucking cannonball. Is it alive or is it welcoming the catch?
Because there's a badger's flying at you, I'd be scared of grabbing it.
Oh my god, I'd be too.
I think that would kill you a badger from 50 yards.
50 yards?
50 yards?
What is yards?
.
Who's the Granddad. 50 meters, that is a long way 50 meters, isn't it? So from the halfway line of a football pitch fired at you.
I'd say a French ball dog.
No.
I'm going with dog, because dogs like to be held, right?
Yeah.
Do you know what I'd go, I'd probably go sausage,
or not a miniature, like a dash hound. curl way and you could grab it under its legs like that. Yeah and they're not too heavy. As long as it was sausage onto you because if it was surely as
aerodynamic would mean they would fly the sausage would be coming towards you
rather than side on to you. And then you're the bun. Exactly. Or whip it's and
greyhounds are quite light but they're big but it's like a bag pipe being thrown it. Yeah if you get one of their the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. I I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's thi. thi. I'm thoes. I's thoes and thoes and thoes. I's is. I's is. I's is. thozy. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. I I. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's. I's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. I'm th. It's like. It's like. I'm th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. Irown. It's just all legs and ribcage. Yeah, if you get one of them in your eye, you're a goner.
So I'd tell you probably a sort of a dog.
Yeah, I'm gonna go hamster. I don't think I can do higher.
Oh, weird question.
I know, a bit weird, isn't it?
Alan? told me a teate. their teate' their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. too'n't. th. too'n't. too'n't. th. too'er. too'er. too'er. too'er. too'er. th. the. too'er. their. their. too'er. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. I'm a too. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm t t tode. I'm toda. I'm toda. I'm toda. toda. toda. I'm toda. I'm toda. I'm t what to do with them. He's currently kept them in his drawer, a little sicker.
I kept my daughter's teeth after they fell out and it came in handy when my son who's younger
lost one of his teeth while having his breakfast. I'm quite sure he swallowed it with his
wheat bits before realizing it was missing. He was really upset he didn't have it to my secret tooth stash belonging to my daughter, grabbed a tooth, put it on the kitchen floor and pretended to find his tooth. He was so happy to have his tooth
to put under his pillow that night and I was relieved to not have to rifle through his feces,
part of his feces, part of what? Oh my God! No, no one would do that, she's got to be talking nonsense. I want to to to to to to to to the to thia thi to thi thi thi thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi tho tho their their the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the For God's sake, Amy and Cork. She doesn't mean that, does she? I think. I just think,
sometimes in life it doesn't go you away. He swallowed his tooth, there's a life lesson than
that. You shouldn't store previous lost teeth in a drawer just in case. Rob. Rob, I've just had some bad news. th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th news th th thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus the the that that that the that that that that that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. tho. Rob. Rob. thoo. the. the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that's that? I've just looked, they've changed the fucking lead on the iPhone. Yes, it's USBC now.
But I haven't got any of them.
They must have given you one.
Yeah, I've got one.
That's how I found out.
But...
Are you switching the phones over without it plugged into the mains?
The new one's not plugged into the mains.
You are one crazy bitch sometimes.
What do you mean?
No, the old...
I can't work you out of the old one's out of charge.
You are either the most sort of the most organized little nerd or this sort of like,
you're doing that like a junkie would.
You've not been plug it in, because I have to keep checking
that the plug is still working because it's so tentative. Yeah but you need to
plug in the new one so you're supposed to have charge it before you use it before
you use it before you use it. It was fully charged. It's never fully charged with it. You trust in the factory the factory the factory the factory. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the factory. the factory. the factory. the factory. Yeah. the factory. the factory. the factory. the factory. That's. the factory. the factory. the factory. the factory. the factory. the factory. the f. the f. That's. Yeah. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. Yeah. Yeah. t. truc. te. truc. te. truc. te. truc. truc. te Yeah, but a left battery will deplete. Oh, hey. So you've not plugged it in? No, look.
And that's a freewheeling legend. Now I believe you, right? Don't worry about that. Yeah,
it's a new law. All new electronics have to be USB. It's annoying, but once you make say the best life change ever made. Go on. And if you can afford to do this, I'd say it's the best 100 pounds I've ever spent.
Okay.
I bought a charger for each room.
I transformed my life.
It transformed your life.
Do you know when the last time I needed a charger in the house was, and I was looking for one Rob?
What's that? 2022. So there's one in every room? No not every room just any room
that you might charge in. So you're gonna have to buy another load? Yeah. Yeah of
USBCs. Yeah. But then you can't plug your headphones into the bottom now anymore.
Oh fucking how so what am I gonna do? Wireless? No but my headphones Jack's different to my phone Jack now. Yeah, you need a new Jack.
Oh for fuck sake. So now I do have to take two leads whenever I go? Yeah. What's the point of living?
You've got your nice new phone though with no messages or family photos on anymore? Yeah, is something I was playing on doing stand stand-up on Rob. Oh here we go. Yeah, ready for the Genesis? Who the fuck wants
that Apple sticker? Every time I get a new phone they give me a little sticker with the Apple
logo on? Who the fuck is using that piece of shit? Back in the day it was quite excited I imagine, wasn't it? Yeah. I would get a Samsung but I get a free sticker with the Apple phone so I'll stick on brand.
Have you done that a stand-up? No I just found it this morning I think I'm
going to do it tonight I've got a gig I'll let you know where it went I to take the sticker. No I think taking the sticker may to the sticker may to be a the sticker. the sticker may. the sticker may the sticker may the sticker may the sticker may the sticker may the sticker may look look the sticker may the sticker may look the sticker may look the the thek. to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the sticker the sticker to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the sticker may the sticker may the sticker may the sticker may the sticker may the sticker may the sticker may the sticker may the sticker may the the sticker may the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to you need to write on top of what you may use it for,
yeah, who uses it, where you're going to put it, what you're doing with it. Well, the only
person that would use it, Rob is someone who hasn't got an Apple product that wants to make it
look like an Apple product. You've never does it. It never does with a sticker does it? No. Pen-Case. Some kids might put on their kk-a. Some kids. Some kids. Some kids. Some kids. Some kids. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their use it. their use it. their use. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. th. th. the. the. the. thease. the. thease. the. the. the. their their their their their their their their their th. Kids are losers. Well I've got a question on that. Go on.
What weird hobby or interest did you have as a kid? Oh I got really into Limp Biscuit.
Did you? Yeah, I had their three albums. Chocolate Starfish and the Multicolored Water or whatever
it's called? Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water. Yeah, yeah that one. Wrestling. I used to go to watch wrestling. I like wrestling. I th. I th. I they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're th. I th. I they're they're th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've tho tho tho. I've tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the the the the the the th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the. I've the the the the the theeeat tho theeat thoooooooo theat thooooooooo tho the thi, I used to go to watch wrestling, I like wrestling. Yeah. I don't say they're too weird. They're a bit like sort of niche in my era. Yeah. Football
stickers. When I was really little I used to play of O'Penny. What's Oh Penny?
Oh Penny, well it was a girls toy, but you can play of anything now, obviously. Obviously, obviously. Ere. Ere. Penny. that you can th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th like, th like, th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. N. N. N. Nish. Nish, th. Nish. Nish. Nish. Nish, th. Nish. Nish. Nish, th. Nish, th. Nish, th. Nish. Nish, th. Nish. Nish. Nish. Nish. Nish, was like little figures, plastic figures with like you
could get little farms or a house but yeah O Penny I used to love. I might get some
Openny for the kids off eBay. Yeah look at that they'd love it. Yeah so
O Penny I used to play with but I don't know if that's that weird
football Italia magazines again. I went for a brief period of being
into Marbles. Yeah I think you remember you'd say it. Do you have a marbles party or something?
Yeah, yeah.
Also I had a brief period of being into Warhammer.
Lovely.
Yeah, but I don't know if that's weird.
Yes it is.
Okay, fair enough.
No, I don't think it's weird.
I think it's weird as someone historian. I think it's a bleak story if I wasn't a virgin.
They normally go to church, not warhammer shops.
Yeah. I don't think I did anything too weird actually.
Do send in yours. Yes, weird things you did as a kid. I used to record VHS of stand-up from a Matsumi-Combie onto mini-disk and listen to stand-up when I slept-up when I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the-up the-up the-up the-up the-up the-up the-up the-up th-s-s th-s th-s th-s th- VHS of stand-up from my Matsui Combi onto mini-disc and listen to stand-up
when I slept.
I videoed the whole of France 98.
What are VHS tapes?
Yeah.
Every game?
Yeah.
That's amazing.
Have you still got it?
No, I think my dad asked me a few they get to a cupboard and go, right, better sort this out.
You're like, have you got nothing else on?
Ha'a'lorn.
My mom sold all my micro-star football bobble heads at the boots out and I'm still not over it.
Oh God.
Hundreds of them.
There the this pain comes from. Oh gosh. Correspondence me up, Rob. Correspondence you up, there we go. Well, we got a hamster story, keeping it on topic after that one.
Hi, Rob and Josh, I have a boomer,
parented story.
When I was around eight, my hamster died.
My mom being a boomer and a teacher
felt as tho, she could the hamster on the raft and floated it in the paddling pool before setting fire to the raft and the
hamster. This is what Vikings would do. Put on a raft, put out to sea, and they'd
set fire to the raft and you'd burn in the distance. Yeah. The problem was
there's not enough heat to do this in a true Viking style and all it did was burn the hair.
true Viking style and all it did was burn the hair off the hamster. Oh my God.
Now we had a hairless hamster on a raft bobbing around the paddling pool.
Oh my God.
I can still see the image of my poor dead-burned hamster bobbing around.
Charlotte.
It's not even like the Vikings are great people. I know that apparently it just changed, but I don't thoun't ever thought to burn a burn to burn a hamster to teach my child a lesson about life. No. You could talk about different ways
that people will get rid of, I don't think you'd have to show them it. You could go or we can bury
the hamster or we could do a Viking, make the bit if the kids are up to it. It'll be quite interesting to hear defenses the defenses the b b b b b b b. the defenses the defenses the defenses. the defenses. the the the b. the the the the b. the b. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin' thin' to to to to to to to to tapes thauoombs. to to to to to to to to tha tha tha tha than. tapes tapes tapes tapes tapes tapes tapes tapes tapes t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tape tape tape tape tape tha's thae thae thae thae thae. thae thae thae thae thae. thae. thae. thae t defenses. If you've been mentioned as a boom parent on here, I'm sure what it's been played to. Please give a write a
reply to these sick fucks that raised you. No joke. Could you also reference which
episode it was said in because we'll never remember either. I'm gonna rephrase
that, not the sick fucks. I'm gonna say these misunderstood parents had the best of intentions but maybe it didn't play out in the way way way way way way way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to be. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please..........................................................................................................................................the way they hoped. Exactly. Yeah, that's nice, isn't it? Lovely. Do another question?
What advice would you give to 16-year-old you
or what do you wish you could go back
and tell 16-year-old you?
Oh, okay.
Well, I think the boring answer is a 16-year-old me wouldn't listen.
No. Isn't it? out and so all the other things I did I learned by living. Do you know what I mean? So any advice?
I'd say try not at times to put as much of your happiness onto sports results. Yeah, that's a good one
because I think especially 16 year olds do get, I think I'd probably say
just try and keep a lid on the wanking Rob. Because it's fine, it is fine that we should all
be able to explore our bodies but it does get to a point where half terms got really out
of hand Josh in about year 9 year 10. Well 16 that's afterwards so the horse is boared. You know there's loads of things I'd say say. It the th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. th. th. th. th. th. thoes thoes thoes th. thi thi' thoes th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I th. I's th. I's th. I I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. the. that's theeeeea's thea' thea' thea'' toooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' the. I's thied. Yeah, the horse is bowled. Well, you know, there's loads of things I'd say of just, it doesn't really matter.
Don't worry what people think, ignore all that,
but you can't tell people that.
People don't think you're reading FHM for the articles.
No. Just say no.
16.
Front magazine is not respected I think it shaped me for who I am now, but the thing I was so worked up, I was so harsh
for myself for 16 and I cared so much what everybody thought, but it is total bollocks, so
don't.
But I could tell them that, but I don't think I don't think I would listen.
And I think learning and finding out yourself.
I think you've just got to learn to him down and go you got to do this got to do that I'm like it's brutal but I think if you get too involved then they'll never be able to
function when they're older totally they'll always be looking to the parents
go what do I do now what do I do now where I think you've got to shut
up and trust them yeah to make to Rose, they want to know?
From Emmy.
On holiday, our daughter was asleep and we were having drinks by the pool outside the villa
that we'd rented in Greece.
Lovely.
I went down on one knee.
I was very nervous.
I'd say you don't need to that nervous and you've already got a kid with them. No, but you're not nervous about them saying no. I hate, I hate changing the subject into a conversation.
In general, you don't like going off point. You know, no, not off point, as anyone who's
listened to this podcast would say you fucking got a bit rich, isn't it? Yeah, I'm just really disciplined when once I'm on a subject I stay on it. I hate it when you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, th, th, th, th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'd to, I'm to to to th, I'd to to to, I'd to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to, I' to to to to to to to to to to to to the, I that, I that, I hate that, I hate that, I hate that, I hate that, I hate to to to to to that, I hate to to to that, I? Yeah, I'm just really disciplined when once I'm on a subject, I stay on it. I hate it when you know you've got to say something in a conversation, like a big piece of news.
You know, like if you've got to tell someone your wife's pregnant, or you've got to resign
from a job, or you've got to break up with someone, or you've got to tell someone, or you've starting to do stand-up or any of these things that you're like I'm going to tell this person this thing I find that incredibly stressful. What are
you chatting about before do you remember? Oh God my hands going. Why's your hand
going because you're getting stressed thinking about it? Yeah I remember going
inside obviously I had to take the ring abroad some so to the the the the the. So roses outside with a glass of wine I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm the the the the the the the th. So I'm th. So I'm th. So I'm th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So thi. So th. So th. th. that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that I that I that's that's that's that's is is that's is th. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I's is is th. So I's is th. So I's is th. So th. So th. So th. th. the the thr. the thr. the thr. thr. thi thr. thi thi thr. I thi thi thi got inside she just thinks you go in a toilet getting a drink or whatever yeah your hands are
going you're panicking you're sweating I don't know probably then I came out
and I remember doing it quite quickly because you're like I can't just like I've
got a friend who went around someone's house to dump them yeah and he
bottled doing it straight away and they ended up watching a whole film together. Okay. Proposed to me as I'm Rose. No, I'm not going to do that. This is lovely,
Rose. Rose. Well, you call each other honeybuggles or something as well,
we don't call each other. What is it? What is it? Snugle? What is it? No, we don't call each other. No, we don't call each. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. th. No. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to th. to to to to th. thro. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Rose. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. Ro. th. th. to to to to to tho. Ro. Ro. let's the episodes. Well yeah but in some record what is it you call each other? Sugar
tits? No, no, no, that's about. What is it? Putnam? Putnam. Putnam. Putn? Oh, this is
lovely out here, puttaps? Say putts? Or does puttnum? Oh, it's down down on one knee and once you're down on one knee that is good.
You didn't speak, you went straight down to one knee. And then I proposed and then she said
yes. What did you say? I just, will you marry me? Nothing else? I don't remember. I don't remember.
You do remember? I don't. You must know. Now all I remember is afterwards we took off our clothes, jumped in the pool and made love.
That didn't happen, that didn't happen. And then my daughter woke up because she was in a new cot.
And she had to sleep in between us on our bed.
Oh no! There you go.
Oh Josh. What a life. Tell me about your proposal.
So I booked afternoon tea for Lou at the Dorchester, she always wanted to have afternoon tea there.
Also booked a hotel room at the Dorchester that night.
Oh, someone's on a promise.
I had to pack a bag for Lou for the next day, which to this day she said was the worst
pack bag she's ever known.
She was, there's literally nothing in here that I can wear. Once I've done it or we had to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to they. they. they. to they. they. to to their. to to to to to their. their. their. to to their. their. their. their. I was. I was, their. I was, their. I was, their. I was, their. I was, their. I was, their. I was, their. I was, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I was. I was. I was. I was, they. I was, they. I was, the. I was, tooenen. tooea. I was. I was, toea. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was, tooea. I was, tooe. I was, try. wear. Once I've done it, we had to go to like Hennies to buy some primar to buy some clothes for us because it was staying over. But you know
it was in Dorchester, I said oh I meet you because I've been working loads, I've
booked something so I've got picked up in a nice car, dropped off at the
doorchester. There we go. I got there really early because I was nervous. I tole I've toled the the story th th th th the story th th th th th th the story th the story th th th th th the story th th th the story the story th the story th their their their their their their their their their th th th the. I was th th th th th th th th their their it was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was so I was their their their their th so I was th so I was th so I was th so I was th so I was th so I was th so th so th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho the the the the the the thea' thea' thean thean thea' thean thean the the the the the the that to to buy a champagne and lube in the Tesco Express. Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah, I've heard that.
I got down on one knee and in the little corridor bit, you know, the nice, the promenade
is like the fancy bit of Dorchester where they have afternoon tea.
And then she said, what the fuck you doing?
Get up, get up, get up joking? I was like, no, it's quite an expensive joke, actually.
Oh God.
And then she said, yes, of course.
That was lovely.
And then I said, what should we do now?
Shooo that.
Sho'n't tho.
And she was like, well, no, we could stay here.
We should have. because you didn't know what I was saying. So then we stayed over and had a lovely evening. But then the room weren't ready though, when the room was supposed to be ready, like three o'clock,
when it's not really ready till seven, but we can get you a really good upgrade because I paid
for like the cheapest room and they gave us the best upgrade, mate. This room had a, we weren't out in it to eight o'clock, but that that was their their their thea thea thea thea thea, theat's theat's theat's theat's theat's theat's theat's theat's theat's theat, but to be to be to be ready. But it's not theat, but it's not to be ready, until to be ready, until we're to be ready, but it's not to be ready until until until we're to be ready until until until until until until until until until until until until until until until until until until to to to bea, but we're to bea, to bea, but we're to bea, we're theat, we're theat, we're theat, we're theat, we're theat, we're not theat, we're not theat, we're not. theat, we're not really really really really thea, we're going. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're going, we're going, we're going, we went, we went, we went, we went, we're going, today. a dining table in it. Amazing.
And a living room and a bedroom and the view over the park that Hyde Park was just mental.
Because I just got the bog standard one, but that's how I did it.
Oh, it's a very sweet story.
Oh, what a lovely little chat, hey?
Look at us.
Yeah, what a lovely ending.
We do a small business shout out. We're down to four minutes Rob. What of the charge? With the transfer? The transfer?
So does SIM cards not exist anymore?
No, you still need a SIM card?
I haven't moved it across.
Oh, Josh.
Do I need to do that?
Well, yeah, because that's your number.
Oh, maybe there's a SIM card in there and it's just transferthat goes on to the phone but the SIM card is huge for your minutes and you like the phone. My minutes it's not 2001. Yeah but you can't
ring someone about a SIM card you can Wi-Fi call them but have I got a new
SIM card in there? No, because they don't know I'm with EE. If you've just bought a
phone from the shop there won't be a SIM card it. Yeah it's not as! On what phone? The new one. There'll be
WhatsApp's. They'll be my first WhatsApp's, but I can't look at them because it's still transferring
data. Your new phone will get all the stuff you would get on Wi-Fi, but it won't get normal
messages or phone calls. It'll only get like WhatsApp phone calls. Right. So are you 80? Hi Rob, and Josh. I've just turned 25 and my parents the parents the parents the parents the parents their th. th. th. th. thoomomomom. th. thiiii. th. th. tho. to to th. to tho. to toed, tho. tho. tho. to to to to be tooom. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be th. to be th. th. th. to be to be to be th. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. their tho. tho. thoooooooooooooooooooo. thoooooooooooom. What thooom. What tho've just turned 25 and my parents have taken over my family's small business.
25 years ago they set up a cleaning company called Angels Cleaning in Southeast London
so that they could work flexibly while raising me.
After lockdown they lost a lot of their customers and since then the business has been ticking over.
As they are both now focusing on other careers, they were going to completely shut it down until I beg them to let me take it over. If anyone in
Greenwich, Bexley or Dartford is looking for a regular cleaner or even a one-off
deep clean then they should come to me. We also offer commercial cleaning as
well as domestic. Our website is Angels Property.
Where you can book your free initial visit and quote. I've been listening since the first episode came out out out out out out, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, their, to, to, the, the, their, to, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. they. they. they. they. th, thi. their, they. today, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, took, they.a, they. they. they I've been listening since the first episode came out,
so it'd be very exciting to hear you talk about my business.
Thanks, Georgia.
There we go.
Hi guys, happy new year.
Oh dear.
Wanted to send a message.
I'll ask for a small business shout for my wife
at Casey's Comforts.
Now that's spelled with K's K-S, K-A-S, I-E-S comforts with a K.
She makes keepsakes her parents and family to remember their children's first early clothes.
She takes incredible pride in doing it and whilst I'm a bit biased, her work is amazing.
She recently had a tough year last year having had surgery on her back, but it's back up and running now and ready for 2024.
I've been a massive fan of podcast for a fair while now.
Since she started listening last year, it's not unusual to hear her laughing
away while sewing and listening to you both.
Keep doing what you're doing as the humor helps the way to a freezing early morning train
at the minute.
Thanks guys and all the best.
2024 Graham, that is Casey's Comforts.
At Casey's Comforts K-A-S-I-E-S K-O-M F-O-R-T-S.
And Rob, yeah. I've got four minutes left so let's fuck it off.
Fair enough. See you next time.
Bye. Bye.
Bye.