Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S8 EP37: The 24-hour play date
Episode Date: May 14, 2024More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond... with Rob and Josh. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any corresponde...nce, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday.  Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
And I'm Josh Winnockham.
Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting,
each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales
of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us
know what we're doing.
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Hello, you're listening to Parents in Hell with.
Salar, Rob Beckettett, to tell you.
Right, okay. Josh Whitakam. Josh Whitakam. So, you took him.
So, well, okay.
My job is to guess where they're from from the accent.
I'm in Counciltown at the moment here, Josh.
You are in Counciltown.
I've been a one-way ticket.
For which continent is Counciltown-based in?
Asia?
Yes.
And you what? That's enough for me. Yeah, okay, fine. I'm gonna tap out on Asia. This is my 29 month old Santa. She's been avid list since Santa was a newborn. I've been avid list since Santa was a newborn. That makes more sense. Enjoying catching up with all the older episodes during the sleepless nights and breastfeeding days. I've been wanting to send in a recording for ages. But Santa kept refusing to say Josh's name. We're just about to fly to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I tap. I tap. I tap. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm tap. I'm tap. I'm tap. So. So. So, tap. So, tip. So, tap. tip. tap. tap. I'm tap. I'm tap. I'm tap. I'm tap. I've been wanting to send in a recording for ages but Sana' kept refusing to say Josh's name. We're just about to fly to Japan.
Ah. With Sanna so she can meet her Japanese relatives for the first time.
Amazing. Please wish us luck on our 14-hour flight. Thanks Mayuko. I think we're
taking the kids to Japan. Are you? So when I do Australia Australia on tour, which is going to be announced soon. We're just waiting for a couple of cities to come back to us. You've just announced it, Rob.
Well, I've announced it, but I haven't announced where I'm going to be.
I'll have a guess.
Sydney, Melbourne,
Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, yeah.
And then over maybe to New Zealand for Wellington.
I don't know about that. Oh, Cambrough. Yeah, no, we we we we we we we we we we're. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. I. I th. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'. I'm. I'. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. to. to. to. to. tha. tha, I'm going to go out and do like two weeks on my own and hammer as much
as I can and then the girls are going to come out with me. You mean work-wise, right?
Yeah. No, I just fancy fucking. Basically a different area code. Loo's. She's fine with it. Lue. She's theyrown. She's my northern hemisphere bay. And the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the the th. the th. th. th. th. the th. the th. I's work. I's work. I's work work. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. th. th. th. the the the th. the the the th. the the th. the th. th. the th. and then I've got a few guys down south.
No, I'm gonna do as many gigs I can,
then they're gonna come out,
I'll do a couple more gigs,
Lou's gonna visit her aunt, Ely's in Australia,
we're gonna do a bit of the Queens in Queensland and Gold Coast,
and then we're gonna fly it and do a week in Japan. Oh, nice. So if anyone's're an old holiday to be here, isn't it?
Basically, you need a burner phone.
I was so exciting.
So she lives in the UK, I'm guessing from that, but she's going back to Japan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, 14 hours, yeah.
Oh, that'll be fun. When are you doing that, Rob? Let me have a guess, winter winter in Australia. Yeah so we're doing it October time so they're off
school for October half-term. Yeah we maybe speaking to the school about
them being out of school for educational purposes as it will be a cultural trip. Yeah.
Will we visit in the southern hemisphere so they can meet their new stepmums? Yeah and they could explore the
cultural heritage of Tokyo. Yes, Lou has already tried to book the Disney in
Tokyo but let's not let that get bogged down with the culture they're going to
experience they're going to see Mickey Mouse in a different country. Yeah
Okay yeah we've got to talk to the school about that but that's next year that's a long way off. Do the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school the school that's the school the school that's their that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their off. Do the school listen to this? Yes as a group and assembly Monday morning. I did tell you about when they went to school I
said I just want to make sure that at the school at the different preschools and
other schools I went to people a lot more excited about me being there than
they were that my daughter might be joining the school. Right yeah when we went around us so I said I just want to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make the their to make their their their their their their their their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their try. I'm too. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm tell. I'm their their their their their their their their my daughter's the main priority and I'm not being dragged in
to do stuff all the time and she creates her own identity.
Rob, Rob, Rob, tea jump off.
Jumped off.
I'm trying to do it.
You're like a fucking Mario ballerite, mate.
It's unbelievable.
Right, get it off.
Right, get it off.
She said, jump. I remember the teacher went, well actually we do have a granddaughter of, and she said a playwright I've never heard of.
She went, you did need the second bit of that sentence.
Yeah, she said a playwright.
And I'm sure she was fine.
I was like, okay, okay, I was like, okay.
I don't know if you know what I'm on.
And then I did bake off, I'm the second, I'm sorry, I'm, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm late, by the way. I've had a nightmare this morning, Josh, trying to log on for any techie guys out there,
we use Zencaster for this.
Yeah.
But I log on to Zencaster, I'm like, so fuck.
Kiel-Kinke, look.
Keelea, fuck.
Kagan.
That was such an old man, supercut of Rob take his jumper off and then getting a coughing fit would you? We've got to get that jumper onto the Instagram. It was fucking painful to watch.
Right. I haven't even turned me light on some of lights probably all fucked. Do we
supposed to turn my lighting on? No, it's all right. No, no, I'll do the lights. Make a difference. Gott. Gott. to make a difference. Gotthe. to the the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. the light. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's fucking. It's fucking. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's fucking. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's the t. It's the the the the the t. It's. It? Yeah I think he's yeah, he's man. Stephen Bartlett.
We've all got to be more like Natalie Cassidy these days, Rob. Anyway, I try to log on to
Zencaste and on Safari, you click on it, it goes you can't log on to Zencast on Safari.
I don't know why. They hate each other. They hate to download their. What's the I had to try to get Google Chrome up, then it just wouldn't work. And Josh, I had to download Edge.
What's that?
No idea.
It just said download Chrome, Brave, which is a lion, but it looks a bit far right, so I left
that.
And then Edge, which is like the Microsoft one.
Little, it's like the Edge.
A little page. And it's up Microsoft's Internet Explorer, but it's called Edge now. I want to go on the Internet. What should I use?
Internet Explorer, no, just call it Edge.
Oh, brilliant.
Yeah, so I downloaded Edge.
As soon as I downloaded Edge, Chrome worked like, you know when you fancy someone and they're
not interested, but then you start going out with someone else?
Yes. Chrome, drop their fucking nickers. And now I'm th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I'. I'. I'. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'm th. I'm th. I've downloaded. I've downloaded. th. th. the the the the the the the the the thoan. the the the. As soon. As soon. As th. I on. I'm going to say it, go on. Give your catchphrase. There's these people. These people. Okay, hang on, what's that me? That? Coming over it. All right. It's not
I've got to be seen me granddad here? I can't. They're both dead. They're both dead.
They're have opinions on what the Guardian website and do my emails. That's all I need to do.
I want to go on the Plymouth Argyld Chartboard.
Yes, thank you.
Do you know what?
I don't understand.
Newspapers that make you charge to read it and they give you the first two lines.
I got all that looks interesting.
Oh what? into those newspapers. No, how to get into those newspaper? Do you know, I'm still reading the Times and the Telegraph for free. How? I've still mocked the week logins. The gig that keeps on
paying. No, the gigs that's finally started to pay. The worst paid king in television.
But now I'm making it back. How did that get cancer? And everyone was like, I was on the the as I want to work to the flower market by the end of that.
The amount of hours I put into those episodes.
Not that you prep.
Yeah, so I'm still logging on my Malt the Week loggings.
Right, okay, fair enough.
Yeah, can you send me the login?
Yeah, I'll send you. does the same thing? That's my only dealings with a telegraph. A lot of times I go,
I tell you, Rob Beckett's getting a big through boots, I've completely eviscerates something
he's done that's quite popular. Anyway, oh can I just I just had an aside on your famous school.
Oh yeah, a child at school yeah. I was at my daughter's friend, thr got two older sisters. On your own? With my daughter.
All right.
And her friend and her mom and her stepdad and my son and their cat.
If you want the full line-up.
Yeah, yeah, I've got it.
Yeah.
They're only they're busy, in it?
It was actually, but I took my son out of the park. Okay. But her two older sisters were thaaaa the sisters their tha tha tha tha tha tha tha. tha. tha. thoes. thoes. thoes. th. th. thoes. th. th. thate. th. thate. thate. thooma. thate. thate. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. tha. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And th. And th. And th. And th. But her two older sisters were looking at Spotify. Okay. They were on Spotify.
How old are the sisters? I think they're like 8 and 11. Right, okay. That kind of ballpark.
8 and 10 doesn't matter. But, oh it does. It doesn't. And I walked past and they were looking at podcasts.
And they went, hey, there's you.
You're in top comedy podcasts.
And I felt like I was a hundred foot tall.
Really?
Is that pathetic?
I was like, maybe I am cool.
They didn't listen to it.
No, I think that's nicer for someone to go, oh, you're in the top podcast. I think it would be worse if they'd listened to it. Or it'd be worse if they're going, oh look, you're on Spotify
and then their thing is it, kept on flicking it up to scroll down
the top podcast.
Yeah, yeah.
There you are.
You know, you go through your emails.
You know, a million go. the inevitable drop off. Anyway, how's your day been? Well, not a great start today, Josh, you know I'm on this new fitness regime. Oh yeah, talk to me. I'm inspired by you. Thanks.
Well, basically what I've been doing is I'm calorie counting. I'm on a slight
calorie deficit and I'm logging what I'm eating and try to try and try and
try and aim for certain macroes where I've got that my that my that my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness my fitness. that my fitness that my fitness that my fitness that my fitness that my fitness that my fitness power. that my fitness power. that my fitness power. that my fitness. that my. that my. that my fitness. that my my fitness. that my each calories are and then you can try and go oh actually I've had too many carbs
not enough carbs whatever and you try and balance it out and a deficit.
Has it been not enough carbs at any point? No absolutely not enough carbs at any
fat and carbs is the main protein just But actually I've been quite enjoying it and I've been really on it and I've been having
sort of rice and chicken sort of quite, yeah, quite basic stuff.
And a couple of days I couldn't do it but I was still really healthy and sensible.
I haven't really drunk much this week at all.
I've had a couple drinks on Saturday and went out for dinner.
I've been exercising lots. I've done two five-side game of football, I've done four one hour long dog walks, I did boxing pads and I've been to the gym three times this week. Okay, who are you? I'm a new guy? I'm a new guy. I'm a new guy. I'm a new guy. I'm a new guy. I'm a new guy. I'm a new guy. I'm a new guy. I'm a new guy. I'm a new guy. I'm really enjoyed it. I'm really. I'm really. I'm. I'm. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.'ve actually really enjoyed it and I can go to the gym now and I sort know what I'm doing but it's a long-term strategy to sort of get healthier, lose a bit of weight.
Yeah. Anyway, well coach, I weigh myself, put on a pound.
Ha ha! Muscle! Muscle! I don't know what, the fucks going on my my fitness power, but I was livid. Yeah, it takes a while while take while take. takes takes takes takes takes takes takes ta while while ta. ta. ta' while while while while ta' while while ta' while while while ta' ta'er. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, it's their way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I way, it's thi. W. We way stuff wrong, where I had on my my fitness power and it's really annoyed me.
I was hitting all my calories every day and at some point I was like, Jesus Christ, I can,
it's actually if you eat the right things, there's enough calories for the day.
You know, it twiks, it's like a million calories, but I felt a bit too full at night. What I tho th feel a th feel a th is tho th is tho tho tho tho tho tho that on was that that that that that that the that that that that that that that that that that to to that that that to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their that that thi toya. toya. thaua. thaua. I thaua. I thaua. I thaua. I thaua. I thaua. I thau. I thau. I'm tha adjust your calories depended on your exercise. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Oh no.
But it kept on giving me more, every time I'm getting more
I'm fucking walking up.
It wants me to eat another crunching.
I don't know. I was like, fucking now.
I can have another dinner here.
This is mad. It's so easy.
There's a weight loss thing. So I'll turn it off then.
That day I didn't go to the gym, I was fucking starving.
But the events I do go to the tip.
Oh my, I was livid.
But anyways, it's a learning curve.
I love you. You are a wonderful man, you're thick as shit.
Oh wow! We We are between us, yeah, our lack of common sense is
fucking pathetic. Awful. We are both intelligent people, yeah, who have done
very well a career that is a lot due to what's going on in your head, but we
can't fucking do the simplest things in life and it's unbelievable.
It's awful. It's so awful. I'm going to blow smoke up our
arses a bit here, Josh, right? We have worked very hard and come from very humble beginnings.
We've zero networked in an industry that's dominated by Oxford, Cambridge and networks,
everyone, it's loads of nepotism, stuff and that. We've ground it out, worked hard on
a trade, and then when our trade stopped stopped, we started, we started started started started started done this, we've done that, da, da, but then I can't fucking eat chicken and rice.
The portions were massive jobs.
I was like, I could have another chicken, brood.
I could have another packet of rice.
Fuck me. Anyway, so I'm on it now, I'm a bit more aware of a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit more, I'm a bit more, I'm a bit more, I'm a bit more, I'm a bit more a bit more, I'm a bit more, I'm a bit more, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a bit more, I'm a bit more, I'm a bit, I'm a bit, I'm a, I'm a bit, I'm a, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a. thi. thi. thi, I'm a. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t together. t t t t t th but the top line is I really enjoyed going to the gym lifting weights and I felt good yeah and to be fair
the adjustment was only a hundred calories here and there so what I wasn't
huge about more but I think my body is designed that so whenever I've gone to
the gym or really worked out I don't really lose weight I'll get small lot any fat my tips my tits my tits my tits tits tits tits tip tip tip tip tip to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip toe the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tits don't go anywhere. I just have rock hard tips. Yeah, do you know what?
John Robbins once described someone to me as it looks like he thought all you needed to do
to bulk up was take the steroids but you don't need to work out. Yeah, so I look like I've been doing
that but now working out to make my tits hard. Yeah, he's just got really hard. It's just a learning process, Josh. We'll get th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I'll to th. I'll to th. I'll to to th. I'll to to to to to th. I'll to to do to do tho. I'm the tho. I'm tho. the tho. tho. the tho. tho. the tho. thi. the the thi. John. John. John. John. the th. John. th. John. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooo. John's to the. the. the. th make my tits hard. Yeah he just got really hard. No, it's all it's just a learning process,
Josh, we'll get there. I'm going to join you. I'm going to do loads of working out now because I'm
inspired. Basically, I was inspired by Lloyd Griffith, who's always been a bit heavier and I saw some
times a times a times. And he's lost loads of weight and goes to the weight. And it's lost loads of weight. I used to go, I'm just too busy. My job is not suited to losing weight.
And we've all seen your Instagram stories, you're not too busy.
No, exactly.
No, it's getting to the ballroom, was too busy now.
I sort of felt like I should probably do a bit more.
I'm just turning into that bloat that bloc that's wandering around their their their their their their the but I feel great. But imagine the amount of calories you'll have to play with when you're fucking your way around
Australia all day. I'm exhausted hammered yourself to death in Canberra.
You're gonna be the barbecue on. Those government Aussie chips and guys.
I'm gay in the summer hemisphere as well. You're okay. You're going to go the other way around the plug I don't know what that means. I think if I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the th. I the the th. I the the th. I th. I the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the the th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm th other way around the plug hole. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. I think if I had to be gay anyway, I'm a straight man,
if I had to sort of give gay a go, I would rather do it in the heat.
Yeah, because the men are better looking because they're brown.
No, I just think summer have sex of a man by a pool rather than like an open fire.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, if I had to have sex of man, we're all oiled up by the pool, already a bit
wet and slippy and we've sort of gone and let's have a go. I know. Rather than a dank, rainy
February day in England, there's no chance. And that's what my wife My wife. Because it's like, you know when you do something old
school and you're like... I'd love to do something old school. Oh, how are you, Josh? You're
right? How's Rose? What's she up to today? She's not very well. She's got a sinus problem.
Oh no. Is she here or away? Yeah, she's here? Oh, that's good. Yeah, she's got a sinus problem. Apparently only the builder can sort out in a hotel, but that's...
So she's here, but she's at the holiday in on the Holloway Road.
I don't know why she needed Clarit's, but anyway. I don't know what she needed the Honeymoon suite.
She needs Claritin by the sounds of it.
She's got Clarit problems, mate. I just said she's Clara, just a Claritin, come on.
Oh yeah, I didn't understand it.
I thought you ain't claret.
Now, Claritin is an allergy fucking medication,
man.
Look, I could only do you've got to meet me half why is an audience.
I had a situation like this. Yeah, mutual friend. Mutual friend. He's a Millwall fan. He's a wonderful man. Plymouth were at Millwall.
Yeah.
His maid's got a box, so he said, come along to me.
Was it Glenn?
Yeah, fucking love Glenn.
And obviously, I'm not the classic Millwall fan.
No.
But I think I can deal with those situations in that I quite embrace it. And you're with someone that will look after you're in a box so you're fine. But I reckon I'll be interested when he hears this. I reckon I really pulled it off Rob.
You held your own in there? I reckon he was more worried about me than he had need to be. Right.
And you could hold your own? Yeah. So what kind of interactions are happening then just obviously because Millwall needed to win? Within 10 minutes of being in the pub with the lads from the the the the the the the the the the the th... th. the th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. I'm. th. th. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I'm the t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the the the the the the the the the the the ads from the box. I reckon I'd use the word mate 30 times. Yeah, classic. Yeah. And I heard myself doing it. I thought you are you are
fucking pathetic to myself. Who do you think you are? It's horrible where you've got that
you go somewhere that's a bit stressful or whatever you do it. And like you're doing it,
you're doing really well and in your head it what you're pathetic little loser. Same mate, in here, in a pub in London, same mate, thinking you're hard.
Oh, I don't need to calm down.
You're like, mate, life's hard enough enough.
It's enough outside.
I had a non-alcoholic lager.
Yeah.
I just thought soda water was a step too far.
Do you know what? I actually think, sorry to cut you off, that in certain quite laddy alpha situations the non-drinker is slightly more accepted than the middle class dinner party. Yes if you are in a
pub in meal before meal wall there someone goes he don't drink everyone
goes all right let's not push it then. Because if he don't drink something's
something's happened. Yeah he's done he's a fucking lad. Yeah because if he
he does he's gonna kick out and something's going to go wrong here. Yeah. Where in a middle class pilot, come on, just have one, Joshie. Just have a little red like, no.
Exactly, yeah.
Because when people go, when you stop drinking,
do you miss the glass of wine with lunch?
No?
Do you know what?
In 40 years, I never had a glass of wine with lunch,
I'd have 15 more. Alone. I don't know what it feels like to have a glass of wine with lunch because there will
be 14 more.
That is not relaxing.
If I have a glass of wine at lunch, that means three days are out of my diary.
So I don't miss that.
Yeah.
That's like going, do you miss foreplay but no sex?
No. Anyway, I don't know what that means. Do you just miss four play?
Would, do you miss the idea of just going out,
meeting up with so on, bit of foreplay,
and then you just go home separately?
Or with a massive boner?
Strip clubs. Yeah.
It's been quite sexy this one, is it actually, Josh.
I wouldn't say sexy. Anyway, it all all. Anyway, it all went well.
Yeah, held my own.
All right, mate.
Yeah, then at half time I was like, I'm fucking gagging for a cup of tea here.
Should I message him and say how did Josh get on with all the meal wall boys?
Yeah, yeah, do you.
You can carry on. It's all.
Did I send you the picture of um... You on the train? Yeah. They're all singing. What did you meet a meal at London Bridge or something?
Then I walked about? Me and our agent went for pie and pie and the tie. their meal. the tripah with it as well? Yeah, big time, mate. that. to their today. Yeah, thinned. to to to their. their. their. their. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. their. thin their. their their their their their their their their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thin. thin. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. th. th. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. th. th. the. the. the. the. th it, ma'am. Heavy though, it's a stodgy meal that. Stop it saying, mate! Do you see that? It's just happened. Right,
it's a heavy dinner. Would you have one pie, one mash? Yeah. It's a heavy lunch in it. Yeah, but I, I had Sunday brunch the next. Oh, I need to talk about it. too'n't the to'n't tod, to to to to to to to to to me, to me, to me, th, th, th, th, th, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that. that's that's that's th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toda. the the the the the the the. the. throooooo' that's that that's that's that that's th-time, Robb. I've got a 24-hour play date to talk about as well. Half-time, I want a cup of tea, yeah?
Yeah.
And obviously, there's cups and there's milk, but there's no tea-making facilities in
the box.
Right, okay.
What a lovely corporate environment and the hospitality they have at Millwale. I say to the box, their, to to to to to to they, to they, they, they, they, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is, the, is, is, their, their, the, their, their, their, they. I's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, is. And, is. And, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. And, they. Yeah, to. Yeah, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, to make a cup of tea? Yeah. I'd say, aren't you a bit nervous about asking, should try and make a cup of tea in a box
with the lads?
Well, by that point, yeah.
You build a bit of a report.
Actually, I was one of the boys by that point.
Because I imagine they're not, do you know what? That's what the vibe? Yeah. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. the vibe. the vibe. the vibe? Yeah. the vibe? Yeah. th. the vibe? Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? That's. Yeah. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tip. tip. tip. th. that. that. that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. that. that. that. there's your kettle. All right. And everyone laughed.
Oh no, he did ask.
I thought, I don't know what's going on here.
Oh God.
And I said, sorry.
And he went, there's your kettle.
And he put it on my watch.
I didn't know what was.
I didn't know.
Half the listeners, my neighbor,, sorry. I just don't know.
Sorry, there's a little jadder out of water in. Little fish out of Plymouth. I was wondering, do you know
what it means? Yes. Yeah. So kettle is sort of slang for your watch? Kerlin' hob. I don't know what the
actual rhyming was it, but I know kett had a great laugh at you. Well, the game was going
on at that point, I think, actually, it was the start of the second half, so there's only a few people.
So that's what annoys me a littlethey were playing house music during the fucking,
during the half-time. Really? Yeah. Lads. Lads. So it was alright, you lost so, didn't you? And there was a pitch invasion?
We lost, but there was a pitch invasion. Have I sent you the picture of the pitch invasion?
No, you haven't sent me that. Why was I invading of the pitch invasion. I think we can put these on our Instagram. I'd say this is what a pitch invasion should be like.
Oh, he's ringing me.
Hello, I'm recording the podcast at the moment.
You don't want to be on Mike, dear.
No.
I was just asking how Josh, how did Josh get on?
How did Josh get on with the mill wall, he's buzzed he's alpha male he's and and he said that he got a
bit of stick about his watch from Glenn the kettle thing that was really funny
we've been told it we can I don't speak to you out mate
cheers by fucking one of the lads here we go one of the lads he was brilliant
have a look at that
pitch first pitch invasion video that must feel good Josh it
it feels great Rob okay oh the little kids the two women in
oh yeah
the two women look like they're on a night out in the matching
matching fur coats walking across the pitch
there there's so many children there. Well, this is my favorite picture, which I feel is peak parenting.
This was just in front of me.
Look at this.
Ah, the little family.
Family posing on the pitch with the baby.
And someone, it looks like one of the stadium like groundskeepers clapping to get
the attention of the baby.
Yeah.
Taking a photo during what could only be
described as an illegal pitch invasion. An illegal pitch. I think it's fine they
stayed up. I'm fully behind pitch invasions. You want to see more of that stuff in
the game. Oh absolutely. From the safety of a box. Yeah that was a fun day.
Oh that was a fun day. Oh that's nice. Should I tell you about my Friday. the tha th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. thate thate thate. tho tho the thate. thateate. the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. tode. tode. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. the. the the. the thee. the. the. I the. the. I tell you about my Friday? And then I'll tell you about my Saturday night.
Okay, so Friday was I had to put my daughter up at four.
I want to talk to you about this actually.
So I had to pick up my, one of my kids at four and then the other one come out at 4.30
And I was picking up her and a mate for a sleepover, okay?
Yeah. A quarter four, Lou, I'm just to to to to to to get a sandwich because I'll still have to be calories that day for some mad reason.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha.
You're even hungry, might as I'll get it down with her.
If I've got it, use it.
And this was quarter four, and this was quarter, and thou'
so I was a five minute drive away from the school. before four. Who's like, what, you're where? What, what do you mean? But they come out of
four? I'm like, yeah I know, I'll just grab a sandwich. Then I'll drive there, I go,
yeah, but it's quarter four. I was like, Lou, I'm fucking, when they don't burst
into flames at four o'clock. Also, were you to arrive at three minutes past four, yeah. they wouldn't just let the threat. to be to be thuuuuuuuu. thu. thu. thu. thus. thus. thus. thus. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to thoooooooomu. tha' that. their. that. tha' tha' their. their. their. their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. tha. tha. A. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. That will have happened before. But I got there on five to four anyway. So I'm still early. But Lou arrives at school about half an hour to 45 minutes before they're
out and just sits in the car. And then she goes to be, oh bloody hell. By the time you dropped
him off you've got to pick him up again. Yeah. If you're going to sit out of school for 45 minutes. That is correct. So I picked them up. I up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. A. L. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. L. L. L. L. L. th. L. I was. th. th. L. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. th. I th. I th. I th we brought him home and we had a sleepover. Yeah. Well, I got him out of school and then they were like ice cream truck, ice cream truck.
And I was like, alright, I was not taking him with McDonald's for dinner.
So I took him an ice cream before McDonald's.
I mean, that's not great.
I'm right.
And I didn't have any. I sat there and I sat there and I and watched to to to to their and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and watched and to nuts and an intolerant to like egg, wheat, garlic and something else right so it's always
a bit stressful when you've got a kid sleeping over they came back at a play
a bit had a sleep over which was all good woke up normal time she's good good as
gold this girl really didn't even know that she was there really yeah and then next morning Lou get something to to the to's lucky me. Oh my God, here he goes. It's so pathetic. I was like,
oh thanks to let me lie in Lou. It's like, take minutes past seven. Yeah. If I
woke up about eight minutes past seven before children I'd go. Well I don't know,
I'm gonna survive all day. I could have some sort of nap in the Anyway, I woke up and I was a bit groggy. As I went down the stairs, Lou walked past me on the stairs,
looked like she'd witnessed some sort of car accident
with her phone out shaking.
Yeah.
And she said to me, I've given her egg.
Oh no, she fed the child.
Was she intolerant of egg?
Or she's allergic to egg?
She was allergic to eggs.
Not allergic, intolerant. It was in some pancakes and stuff like that. Oh, so she's eight. So I was like, she must know, what do you mean gave her eggs?
She knows she's like eggs, she wouldn't eat an egg.
She went, no, I did pancakes and they're all in their butter used gluten-free.
And anyway, so she was like, I'vethen I'll pick the girls up at R4
and then I took them football, they played football,
then I took them to the calf.
I told Lou the wrong calf we went to,
there's something wrong with me, Josh.
Before I used to think Lou was lying,
but now the girls are to a calf, right? She went, are you going, Petswood? And I went, yes. And then she was like, where are you?
And I'm in the thing.
She went, I'm with the wrong one.
And she went, I said to you,
and I know you didn't, that conversation didn't happen.
But then our children went, yes it did.
Both sides. And it must be infuriating for Louvre, but it's infuriating for me, because I absolutely cannot remember that conversation happening.
Do you, I've got this, has there a narrative taken over the house that you're an idiot?
Because that's basically what's happened in my house, is that Daddy's silly and gets
things wrong?
No, not as much, not considering where my wife was poisoning children with food. I don't mean just then. I mean, it th. th. th. th. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, it, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I that's, I'm that's, I'm that's, I'm that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, I'm that's that's, I've that's, I've that's, I've that's, I've that's, I've that's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I food. I don't mean just then. I mean generally, in my house it's considered that daddy loses his keys.
He loses stuff, he gets things wrong. That's who I am.
Not with the kids. With Lou slightly is like, but no, I don't think we're pretty even on those little things.
We're quite organized actually. I'd say, and I don't want Lou to get annoyed of me, but I would remind Lou about appointments
that are coming up more than she would meet.
Oh, so if they're in the diary or like,
like she'll go, oh, I'm going for a meeting on Tuesday.
And I'm gonna, how many, I need to cancel that.. to anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone anyone, so??? their. their. their. their. their. their. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. So, to be. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. So. So. So, so. So, so. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the. So, the. So, if. So, if. So, if. So, if. So, if. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. So, if. So, if. So, if something said to me, I've got to remember straight away, it goes, but my long-time memory's good.
But so it's infuered anyway,
went to the calf, had some lunch.
Originally I was supposed to drop the play date girl
home after the football.
My daughter was like, oh, they got split up into groups.
She went, oh, can they come to lunch?
She come. All, they. So, other sisters at a party. Oh, could my friend come?
I was like, yeah, okay, right.
So then I've been on this fucking 24-hour hark.
Wow, I bet the friend's parents were like, this is fucking right.
Oh, that was a drink.
We had a great time though.
She's so easy. was all good. Until she stole an egg at the farm from the chicken. She vomited blood three times but apart from that she was absolutely known. Good as gold. Yeah, she went to sleep straight
he sort of passed out in some sort of catatonic. She was honestly. She was honestly. And then I went around.
And then I dropped to home and then and then my daughter was like, this is four o'clock now. Give me a fucking break. That that th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the that's that's the the that's sort. their the their. their their their their their their their their their their they. He's sort. He's sort. He's sort. He's sort. He's sort. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's sort. He's sort. He's sort. He's sort. So. He's sort. He's sort. He's sort. So. So, the. So, the. He's sort. He's sort. He's. He dropped to home and then my daughter was like, can I go park? I'm like, this is me, give me a, it's just four o'clock now.
Give me a fucking break, that's all you wanted to say it wrong.
Yeah, just give me a fucking break, will you, broof?
I'm still trying to get up to my 6,000 calories. I need to, and then, to have, to have, to to to to to to be, I'm, I'm, to, I'm, to, the, I'm, to, th, th, th, th, I'm, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give. the, give. the, give. the, give. to. to. to me. to me. Give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, to me, give, a. to me, give, give, a. to me, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give at 4 p.m. So it was a nearly a 24-hour playday and by the end of it Josh I was like I'm done it but it was more my child than
the other one. Yeah yeah yeah but that was a tough shift because normally you
spread the playdate between the parents but it just fell on me that day. Oh God yeah there's good fun. Well I had played play date chaos. Well I had a chaos. been a our friends who's my daughter's best
friend really from before school. They were having people around so there's about
four girls and like the parents like around their house in the afternoon yeah
yeah and my son and then I get a text from Rose at the end of the
game doesn't ask the score not interested. It's a shame. Doesn't say how does that mean the last day of the season's going to go? How is football? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. the the the the th. the th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho. tho. tho. tho. the. thi. th. th end of the game, it doesn't ask the score, not interested. It's a shame. Doesn't say how does that mean the last day of the season's going to go?
How's football?
No, it's fine.
It's fine.
I'd send her the picture of the pitch invasion.
She'd enjoyed that.
Yeah.
It's like she doesn't to the championship.
It's like, it's more exciting to go to games in the championship. It's not more exciting going to games than the championship.
Well, yeah, when you're shit, it's not. No, exactly. It's actually more fun in League 1.
Right. Because you're good. And you should start doing open mic gigs under that premise. You'll smash it. I felt that of my last warm-up gig. I went, I went to Millwall. I went to mill. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. the the the the the game. the game. the game. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the the the tie. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. too. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. S. I'm. I'm the the the the the the t. I'm I went to Millwall I've kind of realized I spent my whole life
going this will be great when Plymouth in the Premier League or their top of
the championship will work. Yeah and actually you go oh the bit I enjoy is just
going to the match it's just going to the match it's just going to the
match it's just the match. It doesn't really matter if we're in the conference yeah I just like I thin. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the. I the I the I the I the I the I the I a lot of Premier League team because it's on the tele and it's part of the conversation.
Do you know what I mean?
We're on tele and I'm not having conversations with those people anyway.
No, but it feels like the North London Derby of Arsenal Totten was like sort of big news and everyone was, you know that sort of like all the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, their, th.. th. th. thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be, to, to, to be, to be, to be, and I's, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I's, and I's, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, and, and, and, and, and, I....... And, I, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, their. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to me. And, to me. And, to me. And, to me. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, t. And going to have that. No, you won't. But I quite like that, Rob. It's like liking a band that no one else listens to.
It makes me feel.
The Janners are a cult group of people.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Did you meet up with the Janners?
I met Janners on that?
No, I met Ja.
I met with Ja. thi's. the J. the J. the J. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. together. ti. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. good content. Yeah, it is. I like it. And it was in Big Brother. You could talk to him about his experience in Big Brother. Yeah, so anyway, we get back.
Yeah. Rose texts me on the way saying that our daughter wants to sleep over.
Okay. She's never done a sleepover at someone's house successfully yet.
She gets too nerved out by it. Right. So as she tried. She's tried. thried. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. to to th. th. to. to. the the to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. try. try. try. toda. try. try. toda. try. today. try. try. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tried? She's tried once before. And then what times did you have to go and get her? This time. Oh, I mean in the previous times. No, the previous times we didn't, we just wrote it off about when we left.
This time, yeah. I dropped the stuff around and then she says, will you come back? Because it's just not far? It's like 10 minute drive. I think in a way, because it's not far,
it makes it easier to go back, doesn't it?
I know.
She was like, will you just come back,
check on me before I go to bed?
Fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If anything, it gets me were watching the greatest show, mom.
So you, they called and you went back about half nine to get her?
I text and say, how's it going?
And they said, she wants you to come and kind of say goodnight to her.
That said, you either come home, you can't pop browned and a sleep over to tuck her in.
She was expecting me to come back.
Right. Anyway. Anyway, I end up out there. And she's just, it's awful because she's paralyzed by indecision.
Yeah.
She really, really wants to do the sleepover, but she just can't let me leave.
When you take her home, it makes it feel like a bit of...
Yeah.
Failed.
Yeah.
The truth is if you just stayed and bit the bullets, you'd love it and have a great time.
You can't, on honor, on honor, on, on, on, on, on, on, on, on the parents, the parents, the parents, the parents, the parents, the parents, the parents, the parents, the parents, the parents, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their their their tha, tha, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, to bullet, she'd love it and have a great time. You can't fulsome. But you can't honor the parents go. Anyway she's in tears because I'm
leaving but I've said that she's just got a tough enough and deal with this. It's
on you guys now. I used to cry for sleepovers all the time we want to go home. Yeah, but even when I was like 11 12 12. Yeah. thrown. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. S. th. th. She's just just the th. She's just the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. t. te. te. S. tea. tie. tie. S. tie. tie. te. S. tie. tie. S. th. S. th. S. S.'s really tough. Only my oldest has got to sleep. She's eight. She's been on loads
and she loves it and she's fine. Yeah. But my youngest hasn't been yet, but we'll see how she gets on.
But she struggles with going to bed a bit more anyway. And she always wakes up my youngest. We've got a thing,
which to be honest, I love of like she likes to be held while we go to sleep, while she goes to sleep. So on a normal night for her to go off to sleep,
are you holding her, like hugging her to get her off every night?
Yeah.
So yeah, so she's missing that, isn't she?
She's not totally.
She's not getting to sleep on her own,
even at her own house. So after about half an hour, I was like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've just, I've just, I've just, I've just, I've just, to, to, I've just, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to peace. It's gone too far. It's gone too far. We've just got to get out. We made the mistake early doors. Anyway, so I pull her out and I'm like it's fine you did
really well for how late you stayed, all these kind of things. And then we're in the car home.
By this point it's 10 o'clock she's fucking knackered. Yeah, of course. She says I don't like telling my friends that when I go to sleep you hug me because I think it's babyish.
And I'm like, oh my god, that is heartbreaking.
I know, but it is true.
I know.
I know.
She's only young.
She only sits.
No, I know.
I'm part of me is going, but I like it.
I don't want this to stop because I love it. Is it like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't. I'm th. I'm to. I'm. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm like, th. I'm th. I'm th. I it. I don't want this to stop because I love it. Is it like a spoon in?
It's like an arm over.
An arm over.
Yeah, because it will get to say that's not okay.
No I know but I don't want that.
I know you don't.
I know.
I know.
He's like 21.
Please.
At some point this is want to go downstairs and it's later than you haven't
gone to sleep yet, but on the other hand I really like it and it's a peat ten
minutes of my day which I really enjoy. So anyway we'll see how that plays out.
So I think that is probably that more than it is the other person's
house. It's fear of how am I going to get to sleep yet. So that's how I get to sleep, yeah. So my youngest is a bit harder to get to sleep and stuff. I always want to stroke her arm for a little bit. We used to stroke
her arm for like ages. But now we sort of little arm show and go, but almost I could kiss
on the cheek kind of thing. Yeah. I had to lie with her to sleep. In the end, we just did cry out and let her do it. And she sleeps anywhere in an instant on her own,
super confident, never has a nightmare, super chilled.
Yeah, yeah.
And whereas my youngest actually sort of went to sleep right in a moment,
we had to stroke a time a little bit.
She's way, way, way less good at sleeping than the eldest. And that was the one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was. that was that was that was that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. I was. that was. that was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was that was that was that was that was that was th. I was th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th.ouble with when there was a baby. Well it's weird, the personality of a one-year-old doesn't carry through.
Do you know what I mean?
So yeah, she's getting to the stage hours, they're all having sleepovers and she wants to do it.
So maybe if you sort of practice not doing it and you could say, at least at home go well I tell
why don't we practice for sleepovers where no one's gonna lay and hug you for
sleepover so why don't we do that here? We'll be downstairs you're not on your
own but let's practice for your next sleep over because you do want to
do them yeah and that might give her a bit of self-confidence if she's
doing it at home and be like oh oh, well done last night, you went to sleep without... Yeah.
I don't know what's the rule on this is,
but with our daughter we were going,
if you go to sleep on your own nicely
and not keep coming down,
she's like these little one pound bunnies
you got from the supermarket,
yeah, I'll get you one of those. So, it's sort of like, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, th, th, th, th, th, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, thr, thr, thro, thro, throo, throooooooooooooo, thoooooooo, thoooo, th different from the dummy fairy is it? Yeah it's just a comforting thing isn't it? But as in in terms of the dummy
ferry, it's basically bribery. We can't have the Josh fairy. The sleep fairy? The
sleep fairy comes and takes Josh out the bed. The next day we went to our other friend's house. I mean they literally disappeared upstairs together together together together together together together. together. together. together. the. the. the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th th th th th th thooomorrow. thoomorrow. thi. thoomorrow. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t th th th th together for four hours but they had this thing where they were going to make wings but we'd talked it through and she saw the
funny side that they weren't going to be able to fly by before we were going
yeah yeah she was like imagine if we're the first two human beings that work out
to fly and you're like okay you get it yeah but my son I was like I'll I'll drop in what we do normally when I drop around the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the with the mum, because we're made so to aid the transition and then we'll go.
Yeah, also as well it's being polite isn't it?
Also I like, yeah, yeah, but what I mean is for...
You, what?
Roses away?
She's not away?
You know, we pop it in. into a little chat with your new mom friend, you pervert. I've got lots of mom friends. Oh, you top shagger.
Absolutely rifling through the school gates, you animal.
One of those dads, I've got so flexible hours.
I'm here girls, don't worry about me.
One of the new dads at pickup, yeah?
Don't worry about me.
Who's dads that shag the way around the school gates? Is it a myth a a a a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth a myth. Is it a myth. Is it a myth. Is it a myth. Is it a myth. thagg. thagg. thagg. thagg. thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to to to to to. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. t. t. the school gates. Is it a myth or is it like, does it happen? I don't know.
I've got no idea. Do email in. Has any dad shagged more than one mom at the school gates,
excluding the one he's with? So they have to have more than one affair with... Yeah, another parent.
Or vice versa, any mums? Any moms working the way around the school gates? Equal ops? Anyone can have an affair these guys? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? the the their? their? their? their? their their? their? their their their their their their their their their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their. their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their? their? their? moms working the way around the school gates? Equal ops? Anyone can have a fair lease? Exactly. Exactly. It's hard to do it on your own. It's very
hard. Yeah, that'll be great. Because it must happen if there's, you know, the myth. Yeah,
I'd love to read about that. If you can write it like it's sourcy as well. I reckon that happens at like quite exclusive sort of private school ones, th. in an area where it's like a lot of like
powerful business men that sort of just prioritize work or whatever.
But they wouldn't be at the school gates would they?
No, but then they might turn up to like like parent nights out and all stuff like that,
but then I think they might be like... We're offering double points if they're shagg around the teachers as well. I feel like they're th th th th th marry for love. There are people out there that don't marry for love.
They just marry for other things.
So exactly.
When that's the case, all bets are off.
Yeah, all bets are off.
And a lot of people do, I think, in couples, and it's not public knowledge, just go, we
obviously don't love each other anymore. to do what you. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. the. the. theats. theats. theats. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they're at uni we can fuck off. Yeah. Which is a, I don't think a great strategy, but it happens. It does happen. If you are in one of those relationships where
you are going to fuck it off when you're at uni, right in, let us know how it's started
and how it's going. And let us know how long you're going to give it so that it doesn't feel like you've just done that. Are you going to let the full the full the full the full the full the full the full the full the full to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let to let the full their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. I I I th. I th. I in. How long into uni and when they go are you going to move to different rooms, etc.
Do let us know.
Yeah, that'd be great.
We'll keep you a non.
Absolutely.
Imagine if you name was anonymous.
I'll call my kid Anonymous.
Ackin' nightmare.
Haemarin away at radio shows and podcasts with content. These anonymous guys lived alive.
Do you want to do your anecdote now, Rob?
I wouldn't call it an anecdote, more of an update on being a dog owner.
Oh yeah, yeah, I saw your Instagram.
Oh, I'm moaning about the dog. Well, it's bleak. That is bleak.
Yes. We had a little mini argument after that as well, me and Lou.
You and the dog? No. Well, we were going around the's. She was like, are we going around my mum's in the afternoon.
It's her birthday, we're having like a lunch.
I went, okay, well, what time you're going around?
It's like, midday?
I was like, oh, okay So that you could have two courses of the lunch. So I could eat all the leftovers, have a whole cake.
So I took the dogs for a walk and then come back,
quickly made myself something to eat.
And then it was like, oh, you better get to the gym now
because we've got to be there at 12.
And I was like, well, I'm a bit tio'lucre's the dog, I'm going thea toy's took, I'm going the to eat, to eat, to eat, to eat, the to eat, I'm to eat, I'm the to eat, I'm the to eat, I'm the to eat, I'm the to eat, I'm their to, I'm to eat, I'm their to eat, I'm to eat, I'er, I'er, I'er, I'er, I'er, I'er, I'er, I'm a the to eat, I'm a to eat, I'm a to eat, I'm a to eat, I'm a to eat, I'm a to eat, I'll be as quick as I can. And I did the dog walk, come back, made something to eat, went upstairs, I was coming down
to the stairs and I was like, you need to get it going for the shit.
I was like, Lou, I have not stopped, I'm in perpetual, I've bought the dog, I've eaten
breakfast, I've only just finished eating, I've shit throwne, I've shit, I've throwned, I'm going I can't go any quick like that. We had a bit of a Barney about that but then we sort of made up quite
quickly but I was like oh yeah anyway the day before Lou was out and my
eldest was having a bath and I'll have a bath right and I've got to put him in
his taurath and I've got to put him in his crate and I've got to put him in a the cupboard open and the dog had whipped out a whole bag of sugar and he had a bag of sugar.
Oh my God. Have you ever seen a whip it on cocaine?
It was meant, in the end we just let him out in the garden and he's running a circle for an hour. Oh my God. And then just sort of passed out, just gurning and flour and flour. He ate flour in the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. the th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, t. And, t. And, toge. And, t. And, toge. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, and flour. He ate flour and green tea.
But then also in that cupboard was a box of treats.
Yeah.
I'm like, how thick is this dog?
Got sugar flour, green tea and treats.
Even just like the probability you'd think you'd grub the treats.
So yeah, yeah.
So yeah, I was, I had a whip it of fun, yeah, for the dog owners. Yeah, but I've moaned about having a dog on Instagram. Yeah, yeah, I enjoy it. Right, Josh here.
Hi, Rob and Josh, please can you give a small business shout out to my friend Holly's
clothing boutique called Pink Pineapple Essex. She runs it along with her mom.
It's a clothing bout, I hate buying myself clothes
after having my babies, but her beautiful stylish clothes made me feel comfortable and confident
again. They are based in Finchingfield, Essex and have a Tick Tock account and a Facebook
Instagram account where they go live every week to show off New Stop before you buy it.
That's good idea. The website is pink pineapple boutiques.cook.uktiktok pink pineapple boutiques.
Thank you love listening every week Nicole from Essex.
Hi Robin Josh I hope you both well and thank you for such a funny podcast.
My boyfriend and I love listening on our long car journeys.
I wonder if I could get a shout up for my online shop, Quinn's pins.
Great name.
Ella Quinn, this is.
All products are designed by myself from an animal pins, key rings, stationary jewelry and more.
The perfect little gifts for friends. Or to treat yourself.
I'm based in my home studio in Rochester, Kent. I'd love to give listeners 20% off
with the code parenting hell, all in caps my website is queenspins dot com my Instagram
is at quinspins UK thank you so much lots of love eloquent
ela quinn Josh I'll see you on Friday I will see you are good these
quins pins I really like them quins bins I'll see you on Friday for the guest we
have booked we've got quite a few in the back so I don't know which it is
that'll be a surprise for both of us loads a great guests coming up and really th it th it th it th it th it th it th it th it th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the thou to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the thou to the the the a few in the bag, so I don't know which it is. That'll be a surprise for both of us.
Loads of great guests coming up and really,
it's exciting, isn't it?
Our life's good, which is not what this podcast about,
so we'll try and focus on the negatives.
No, no, no, we're was screaming on in the background that's not our family. Oh is it where are they? The garden next door? That's not our
family. It's a few gardens away that. Fucking hell a few gardens away? No, maybe it's next door.
You're sure they're not getting kidnapped? That was mental. The inkcast don't normally pick up outside
noise. Yeah I don't know what happened. We couldn't get Al Murray's impression. the. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm the the the the garden. I. I. I. That's. That's. I. That's. That's. I. I. I. That's. I. I. I. That's. I. I. I. That's. I. That's. the garden. the garden. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. the the th. the th. the th. the th. the garden. the garden. the garden. the garden. the garden. the garden. the garden so good. Oh, that was so funny. That's one of our options of guests.
We'll see how, whether that one's the one.
See if Al Murray makes it or if it's in a couple of weeks?
Yeah, yeah. A little teaser for you though, for the people that stuck around to you.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. The old screaming child Al Murray tip bit crew. Bye. Mom? What is it? Are we there yet?
Hello there, it's me, Harry Hill with some exciting news.
I've got a brand new podcast.
It's called Are we there yet?
And is the world's first family-friendly podcast that's designed to get you from A-to-be.
Join me, my son, Gary.
Sarah, the AI bot.
Hello, Harry.
As we delve into the childhood memories of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the the the the the th Sarah, the AI bot. Hello, Harry.
As we delve into the childhood memories of a motley crew of comedians, celebrities and cultural icons.
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Yurt.