Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S8 EP46: Marcus Brigstocke
Episode Date: June 14, 2024Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian and actor - Marcus Brigstocke. You can listen to his podcast 'How was it for you?' HERE And gi...ve them a follow / subscribe where you're there! Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com NEW ALBUM OF THE SAME NAME IS OUT MAY 10TH - PRE-ORDER HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
And I'm Josh Winnockham.
Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting,
each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales
of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us
know what we're doing.
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Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with. Hey, Ammon. Yeah. Can you say Rob Beckett?
Rob Beckett. And Josh Whittigan? Nice one. Is that from New Zealand?
Legend? Australia. Rob Beckett. Why, her. Is that from New Zealand?
Legend?
Australia.
My hello you sexy and relatable porridge goblers.
Haara and Will here from Goldbourne Australia.
This is our five-year-old Emmett saying your names.
We've been devotedly listening since the late lockdown days
after my mum recommended listening to you guys
when we were struggling with Justin to a life with a kid. Your
podcast has a wonderful impact on our lives as parents and Emmett thanks you for
his pom-pom jar. You guys are much anticipated part of our date nights on
Wednesday evenings. We traveled to Canberra and we fuck while listening to. No, that's not what else to do in Canberra.
That's not what it said.
On Wednesday evenings, we traveled to Canberra for swing dance classes and dinner and we
get to catch up on the weeks episodes of the journey to and from.
Can't wait to see you guys when you tore out here lots of love, Kara, Will and Emmett and my mom nah no no lovely well I'm
gonna be I'm gonna be in camera I told us about the show I still I'm waiting
for the dates we confirmed autumn 2025 I'll be in Cambron oh that's well I'll be
maybe touring the UK we'll never know okay we'll swap in and out we take
turns exactly so that was a nice message wasn was nice. I thought it got a bit blue halfway through.
I love that because people don't expect it from you as much as me.
So that really caught me.
And I hope that that really caught me off guard and I'm sat down listening.
So I imagine if you're on the school run. And you just go, I'm going to put that and oh, you're on a jog on a jog on, to jog, to walk, to jog, to walk, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and I, and you're, and you're, and you're, and you're, and I'm, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, tho, tho, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that really really really really really really, that really, that really, that really, that really, that really, that's a that's a that's a on your own or you're walking the dog and the little old lady goes hello how's a little dog in your ear
you just get Josh Widdock and go fucked yeah I tell you what the worst
but I love is their mom listens well yeah but look without them fucking
she's got no lovely little Emmett exactly so don't hate the player I took you about my cat yes yes all okay al the to th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th that at that the that the that the that the that the that the that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toy. toy. I toy. I toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy te. I tell. I tell tell the the I talk you about my cat? Yes, all okay, trigger warning?
Yeah, all fine.
So we went on holiday.
Yeah, as you know, she moved in next door, Rob.
So what do you normally do when the cat goes on holiday?
Pauline from two doors down.
Yeah.
She feeds the cat.
Yeah.
She goes into the house and feeds the cat stays, yeah. That's that fish.. And fish. And the fish. And, the fish. the fish. the fish. And, the fish. the fish. the fish. the fish. the fish. the fish. that's. that's. the fish. that's. the fish. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the the th. that's. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. th. the the the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the t. t. t. t. t. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. Yeah.the cat and it stays. Yeah, that's the fish. Of course something is to feed the fish. Yeah.
And um. How are the fish? All right? Yeah, good. Algeal cleared up.
How are you clear clean as a whistle? Um, so she does the cat and then she's so clean?
Don't know. It's actually they're filthy, aren't they. They've got spit going in and out of them. Yeah. Like I think a whistle is vilely grim.
Probably one of the most disgusting things you could.
Yeah, like have you, did you ever play blow football as a child?
Pardon?
Ha ha ha ha ha.
So blow football would be a ping pong ball.
Yeah. And you'd both have a straw and you'd kind of try and blow it into the other one's goal. Right okay cool. But the problem
would be 30 seconds in the dripping of the spit would start to come out of the
bottom of the straw. And that's what a whistle would be like.
Right, okay yeah so anyway, Algie's gone, wet, as clean as a whistle, Pauline texts me and says that Beryl has turned up at her house and tried
to move in when we've gone away. Oh so rather than Pauline going down, she's going down to Pauline.
Well she did because she did start coming to feed and then Beryl's gone and moved in with her.
And so as Beryl did come back yeah. But that's really handy for Pauline? Where you're where you go? Lose him, lose waving.
You're going to Bromley to take stuff back to the shops.
Ask her what our appointment was.
Don't, oh no, she heard that.
Look, you go, you know when you left that voicemail,
the other week about the episode.
I just wondered when you said you had to get to an appointment was. Why you you you you you you you you the the appointment you the appointment you you the appointment you the appointment th you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I that was that was thoom. I was that was to to to told told told told. I was. I was. I was. told. told. told. told. told. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. to told. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told. to to told. to to told. to to to ask. to to to to to told. the appointment was. Why are you taking your glasses off so nervously Rob? I'm scared and because she hits me I don't know them to break them. You don't know what
your appointment was. Palaties? Maybe? I don't know. Okay. She can't remember what the point.
What was it? I don't know. Josh was it? What was your theory on it? What was my theory? What was your theory on it? What was my the the theory theory was, Josh. the theory was, what was, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, was, what, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, what, what, what, was, was, was, was, what was, what was, what was, what was, what was, what was, what was, what was, what was, what was, what was, what was, what was, what was, what was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was. the. the appointment. the. the appointment. the appointment. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, can remember the point was it may not have been a super mega important.
It wasn't a doctor's. It was something booked at 10 o'clock. Yeah, something books at 10 o'clock.
Yeah, it was Pilates okay. It was Pilates okay. Yes, yeah it was Pilates and I offered to meet in the high street in a high street didn't there?
Where you already were? You offered to meet me where you were with my keys. It doesn't kindly come to where you are.
Love you, baby.
Where you going?
Come on.
Are you taking stuff back, yeah?
Are you taking this?
I forget though, don't I?
That's my dyslexia.
Don't do that.
Weaponize your dyslexia. I don't do that. I don't do that. We weaponize you dyslexia.
Weaponize my dyslexia.
Love you, baby.
Sorry about that, Josh.
Sort of that.
That is stressful when you get put under the cost, like that.
You work me well there.
You work me like a puppet master.
We work me like a dog.
But Beryl's back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back backeryl's back. She's back, but it is interesting now that when we go away she's just going to move
out and pretend that everything's normal when we get her home as if she hasn't done it.
But we know.
Yeah, I know, but she's just like, well that's the person who's going to feed me and
give me cuddle while they're away.
So, thinne. thii'lough's th's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho's tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thoom, thoom, tho, tho, thoing, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoom, thoom, thoing, thoing, thoing, thoing, thoing, thoing, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi them. Right, and do they all get on?
Yeah.
So Beryl's in the house like I sleep on the sofa.
I think so, yeah.
It just feel like you've been cheated on, isn't it?
It's been real.
Also, you feel like, we don't go wrong with Beryl.
All right, Pauline, let's go after. had that situation they basically ended up with a cat from someone else on the street or wasn't that into their own cat. And then they had a dispute
over the vet bill because our friends had to tell the owner that the cat
had something wrong with its teeth I think and needed a vet bill and then
there was a dispute over whose cat it now was. That's mental. Well it's got the person who got the cat that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their too is is is.e is.eat is.eat is.eat is.eat is.eat is.eat is. their their their their their their their their their their their to be the person's cat who got the cat. Yeah, I think the person who got the cat had basically washed his hands of the cat. He can't wash her hands of a cat. The cat decides.
Yeah, the cat decides. Anyway, let's bring on our guest. We've had Rachel Paris, his wife,
and now we have the man himself, Marcus Briggsstock. He is a man who is a man. I think I probably would have watched him on TV before I was even a comedian,
Rob.
Long career and long, long life as a parent because he's got two older kids so in like 20s
and then a baby.
Is that a two-yard?
Yeah, so there we go. This is how well we remember Rob when we've recorded the interview
two weeks ago.
Yeah. I don't know what would be my worst nightmare would be like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thi, thi, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. He, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He is, is, thi, thi, thi,two weeks ago. Yeah. I don't know what would be my worst nightmare would be like, and someone from her, could someone
at home sort this out and me and Rob will do it?
Go on.
A quiz where all the answers are like how many kids has this guest got?
Which guest has got?
Oh God.
Yeah.
I'll be terrible at it.
Apparently how the quiz about on our guests. How much have we listened?
How much did we take in?
Not too bleak, not like, you know.
I'd have to know how many times in an interview, I go,
yeah.
Yeah.
Well, less than make the edit, I imagine.
Michael's got a 4,000 of them.
This is a Marcus Brickstock. Yeah, it's a great episode. Enjoy.
Marcus Briggsock, welcome to the show.
Just before we start recording,
we were doing a sound check and we asked you what you had for breakfast,
and you, you know, quite a sad voice, said yogurt and seeds.
Yeah, it really is.
It's your yogurt and pips.
It's really tragic.
I've just now started addressing the weight that I put on in lockdown.
Oh wow. Yeah I know right I just felt it was time I feel now like... Did you really
go for it with eat out to help out was that your... Oh mate I got such value out of
that. He helped out so much free times a week she was helping out. I really did and I sort of feel now like I've got to address it. And so taught me through your yogurt and seeds. Y. Y. Y. Y. Y. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. Yeah. Yeah. to. Yeah. to. to. Yeah. the t. Yeah. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. I'm. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I t. I t. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I. I. I. I. I. I the. I the. I the. I'm the. I'm ti. I'm ti. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I'm try. I just. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I of feel now like I've got to address it. And so taught me through your yogurt and seeds.
Well so it's such a tiny amount of yogurt and seeds.
Yeah, it's a really tiny amount.
And it's got loads of like it's genuine seeds like sunflower pumpkin flax.
I think that's the worst seed.
I mean that's the linseed.
It's literally what you put on cricket
bats. Yeah, we have flax seed. I don't know where it's come from. It seems to have appeared in our
house in the last 18 months. But you only need to buy one amount of flax seed in your life,
because you can never get through. It's like the Ainsie Harriet Cuscus from Costco. No one's ever finished a tub. Not once. Never.
So how old's your youngest, Marcus?
He is two and a bit, two and three quarters now.
Right, so you're that stage where actually you're going at it quite early, but if you want to sort
of, once you've had kids and you want to sort of get a bit fitter or lose a bit of weight,
whatever, it's much easier to start when they're in nursery or school, yeah, around four and stuff, because it's impossible before then. So, mate, that's one of the issues, to be honest,
is that around 7.30 a.m.,
there's half a delicious breakfast left over from here.
Yes.
And about 6 o'clock every night,
there's at least half a waffle.
And, you know, a fairly decent amount of scrambled egg.
Yeah. Or you know the extra fish finger you put under the grill in case weirdly they do want four for the first time ever as opposed to half of one. And that's genuinely like I'm so compulsive around food like Rachel can barely even get started on a meal before I'm going like, gee you'll finish that. You're gonna finish that. I really. Yeah just dive in. It's dreadful. But Billy's, yeah, the extra. Yeah. the fish. the fish. the extra. the extra. the extra. the fish. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra fish. the extra fish. the extra fish. the extra fish. the extra fish. the extra fish. the extra fish. the extra fish. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra fish. the extra fish fish. the extra fish fish fish fish. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. the extra. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the extra fish. I. I. I. the the extra fish. the the the extra fish. the the the extra fish. the the the the the the extra fish fish fish fish fish fish fish. the the the the the the the the the extra fish. the extra fish. the extra fish. the extra fish. I'm going, I, do you finish that?
You're going to finish that?
Oh really?
Yeah, just dive in.
It's dreadful.
But Billy's, yeah, Billy's left over nosh.
It's not even that nice most of the time.
He's sort of pushed it around and he likes to wipe the side with his food.
Right. Wipe the table or... But you'll still go in? Yeah, still go in. What's your rules on consuming stuff that a child's kind of...
That they've gummed a bit?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, tragically, Josh, there's barely any rules.
I mean, there are now.
The rule now is...
It's seeds and yogurt.
Are you doing exercise as well? Is it just diet? Yeah, loads of exercise. And I've taken off about a stone. Basically, I was at the altitude comedy festival in April
and like winter sports is the thing for me. That's the one that I'm passionate about and it was much
harder than it should be. It's the only sport I can do. Is it not an advantage when you're going downhill? Yeah, it is. It just takes so long to get up it on the lift.
Until you have to turn or stop.
Yeah, you can see them switching the lifts to top power to get me back up.
Even the Austrians were like, oh, Zedis, to be honest Zedis, too much.
So, yeah.
Didn't you almost die in a ski lift at altitude, Rob?
No, no. I did go when I wasn't experiencing skiing, I got taken on like a black run or something,
when I should have been on a blue and it was awful. I had to just drag myself down.
That sounds more familiar. Yeah. I just had to dumb shuffle down a mountain, it was horrible.
No, I heard a story from Murphy Crosby that you and him and the other pappies were in a ski lift at
altitude and you went to take a selfie and you lent back and the door almost
opened. Oh really? I don't even remember that maybe it was more shocking for them
because it looked like I was gonna fall out or I was just in it but that
does ring a bell actually yeah how do I forget that? Yeah I do forget that that's true yeah I don't forget that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to forget I to forget I to forget I to forget I was to forget I was not that's not that's to forget I was not that's that's that's that's that's that's to forget I'll that's to forget I'll that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's I'll that's I'll that's I'll that's I'll that's I'll that's I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll they I'll they I'll they I'll they I'm I'm they I'm they I'm they I'm not they. they. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm not not to to they. I'm not to they. Yeah I'm not to to that's that's they I'm not that's that's that's true, yeah. I don't even fell out. Is it possible that Jaeger T played a part in you not remembering that that had happened?
Maybe. Yeah, I don't know, that was probably about 10, 12 years ago,
but you should remember when you nearly died, shouldn't you?
Yeah, yeah. That is one of the things you've to the that, Marcus. I've done too much stuff, I thi thin and thin and thin and thin and thin. I thin. I thin. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I that. I that. I that. I don't that's. I don't that's. I don't that's. I don't that's. I don't that's. I don't that. I don't that. I don't that. I don't that. Yeah. I don't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've that. I've that. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I'm. Yeah. I'm. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm that. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'll that's. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I'm that. What's the closest you've come to death, Marcus? Oh.
Jonglers on a bank holiday weekend.
That wasn't close.
It was literally.
It was honestly there, a Christmas show.
No, I did actually, with my biggest son,
who's now 21, we were kayaking in Mexico.
And there was an American father and son who fell off theirs.
They didn't have
life jackets, they weren't good swimmers and they were both, I'm quite comfortable saying
this because I'm dealing with it, fat as fuck. And, um, and, um, and uh, because there are people
that take the piss for being overweight, do you know what I mean? They were so big. The dad was vast. Anyway, so theirs went over and we went over with with my my my my my my my my my my th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm quite, I'm quite, I'm quite, I'm quite, I'm quite, I'm quite, I'm quite comfortable, I'm quite, I'm quite, I'm quite comfortable, I'm quite, I'm quite, I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I vast this little boy was like perched up in here anyway so
there's went over and we went over with my sister and my niece and me and my
son to help them and by the time we'd sort of got them back on their kayak
we'd been washed out to sea and there were huge waves and everything it was terrifying and
then one of the kayaks broke and filled with water it was really awful how does your son at the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. the the the th the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th th th. th th th th th th th th th. th. th th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee an theee an the the the the the the then one of the kayaks broke and filled with water it was really
awful. How old was your son at the time? He must have been I think about nine?
Fuck it now! So yeah little enough that you're like oh God you know this is
horrific. Really really scary and so what happened? So well he survived? Yeah yeah yeah yeah
yes I wouldn't be telling it with
this much. Yeah, no, and then yeah, we lost him somewhere off the coast to Mexico. But
the key thing with these things is you learn. No, actually what happened, my sister went ashore.
She managed to paddle in, I said, I think you should go and get help, because it was still a bit marginal at that time. And she went, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and, oh, oh, and, oh, oh, and, oh, and, oh, and, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and, oh, oh, and, and, and, and, and, th. And, and, and, and, yeah, yeah, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th. And, th. And, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the. Yeah, to paddle in, I said I think you should go and get help, because it was still a bit marginal at that time.
And she went and fortunately she dropped my niece off on the beach and came back and I was
able to get my son on her kayak and she took him in and I said, yeah, look, go and get help.
And these Mexican guys got a boat, like a motorboat to come and rescue us and they got
flipped. The whole boat went over.
The whole thing was monstrous. And where are the Americans at this point?
So the Americans... They did die. At this stage, so the dad... Yeah, that is a long gun.
That's why he's slagging him off. He knows the dad. No, the dad, he just couldn't do it. So in the end. I paddled the dad. the the the the the the the the dad. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the their. th. their. th. the th. the the the the the the the the th. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It it. So in the end, I paddled his kayak with his son on the front and him holding onto the
side of it and we managed to get everyone back in.
But yeah, yeah, yeah, but the boat full of, if we're being totally honest, slightly drunken
Mexicans went over as well.
So yeah, it was awful.
Oh, God.
Do you know what?
We should ask that question more. It does give a good answer, doesn't it?
What about you, Josh? I was in a plane crash, a train crash.
What? Not a plane crash. A train crash? Just outside Market Harbour of the Train derailed.
It was just before the Leicester Mercury comedian in the year final.
Oh, don't bring that out that robbery. That was in the list of Mercury new comedian of the year award Marcus and then the final got delayed I was in it because Josh
Robert's going the first half TV's Josh would occur no it wasn't TV I didn't
even have an train crash bollards it was late
the windows all got smashed we got derailed off the trained all the stuff
smash the windows and an announcement came up from the driver saying we kind of just sat there for about
five minutes and an announcement came up and he said good afternoon the train
is not on fire to repeat the train is not on fire
horrible announcement. Never mind that how is the gig? Well I had a good one
because I got to go on straight after the interval because I'd... Was late. Yeah I was late. He won Marcus. He won the new
community of the year and I think the reason for that was the train
accident because I do. If he had been backstage of me I would have got in his
head. He was one my threat. I was focusing in on him. Also were you the slightly thi. Also were you you slightly the thi thus. thus. the thi. thi. thi. to the to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to the to to the the the the tho. the tho. the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thean. I. I was. I was. I was. new. new. new. train. new. new. train. the ne. ne. the the the the the the the the that means that you're not thinking enough about the geek so that it goes quite well
if that makes it. I wouldn't recommend it. No sure. It's not sustainable as a
career. You was on the train with James Acaster as well. Yeah. Imagine if you
two died, the world of podcast it would change it as be me and Ed Gamble talk about my kids lunch. Christ a life. You've got generational children.
Yeah, yeah.
Which is an interesting situation.
Yeah, so we've got my eldest is 21.
Yeah.
My big son is 21.
My daughter's 19 and little Billy will be three in July.
So it's a 17-year gap. And how does that feel?
Does it, no, not how does it feel, but like-
And they've got different moms,
haven't they?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes.
Just to get that out of other people constantly going,
call that is why did they?
Yeah, exactly.
When you say they's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, at family gatherings, it is quite hard to explain, yeah. Yes, no, they have the big two
have got a different mom from little Bill. Yeah. It is weird. Did you click back in or did you?
Yes, I did. I did. I definitely went into it this time round more sort of, I don't wouldn't say more relaxed,
but just more accepting of the fact that it is always a series of managed failures.
And I really don't mean that in the negative sense.
Like nothing as a parent is really, I think, ever a whole success. You could have the best
possible day at the bench, right? And the sun's shining, but it's not too hot. They get the cream on. They've got a ball.
It's not too windy. Lunch sort of works out and everything. And someone will have a sandy crack
that will turn red in the car on the way back away. Yeah. This always it's always managed
failure. So I think I was just more accepting of that with Billy. On the red crack, yes.
My daughter got something the other day and I was like,
fuck I haven't thought about that for 20 years.
Yeah. Which was she came back from school having done PE.
And she was like, my nipple hurts.
And it was the rub of the badge of the school.
And I was like, oh yeah.
The sort of school logo or whatever on the the school. And I was like, oh yeah, I remember that. The sort of school logo or whatever
on the top. The stitching rubbing the nip in PE. Yeah. I was like, oh my, it was like a nostalgia
trip for me. Sorry, anyway, carry on. They should have those logos in the middle. Children's
nipples is a nostalgia trip. Sorry, yeah. Can we just be clear now not to clip that bit up for Instagram?
I mean I'm older than the two of you. Did you have proper old Ayrtex shirts?
What do you mean by an Ayrtex? Airtex was like that was what we all wore for sport and it was an
incredibly stiff kind of Hessey and like material. It was called Airteect because it also had loads of tiny holes.
Yeah, I think we did have that slightly.
But they were unbelievably stiff.
And if you did any sort of activity in them,
mercifully I rarely did, they would take the top layer of skin
off your nips in about five minutes.
We had a rugby top that was so stiff like it was like wearing a cardboard jacket. Yeah, just did and then we had a vest that was
horrible. I'm wearing a vest as a teenager is horrible in it. So would you have
to wear that under the rugby top? No no the vest was like if you were doing
athletics or you had to wear a vest for athletics? Yeah and just all other summer sports and then in the winter it was like you were like like like like like the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. We were were th. We were th. We were were were were were were were w. We were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were th. Wea. I was. I was horrible. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the the the th. And, the th. We were the th. We were t. We were t. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were you wore a big horrible rugby shirt. And they were unbelievably stiff.
Like when they first went on, you could hear, if you bent the arms, you could hear them go.
Creak, yeah.
A creek of an ancient knight going into battle.
But they didn't protect you from other rugby players, I think.
No.
If I could ban anything, it would be rugby at school.
I think it's insane. But th th th tha, but tha, but tha, but tha, tha, thia, thia, thia, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea I think it's insane. But there we go.
Yeah, not a fan.
I remember being at Reading Festival and you were taking your children to see Billy Elish.
Who was-
I nailed it.
This says the difference in our career tri-tricturies.
She was on at 4 p.m. the same time as me. Yeah. Look at her now.
Oh well when she was early days. Yeah. So have you done a lot of those kind of things for your kids?
Yeah, so much. So much. I mean M, my 19-year-old, her first latitude festival, she was four months old.
And that was, I think that was maybe the first ever latitude. Everyone camped behind the big. She th. She th. She th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I was all thi. I was all thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was thi. I was thi. And theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And theeeee. And thi. And thi. And thi. And th first ever latitude. Everyone camped behind the big comedy stage.
And she was four months old and we were all sleeping in a tent.
And latitude being latitude.
Oh my God, can I just say, Marcus?
From my point of view, fuck, huh?
Yeah, foolish.
Four month old in a tent.
Foolishness. That was the last time.
I then bought a motor home. Right. So, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. th. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. th. that was th. th. th. that was. that. that was that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that was. that was. that was. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that. that. that. that that that that that. that, that, th. Right. Oh God. I think you didn't go. You still go.
No, no, no, we still went.
But yeah, we got to sleep at about three or four in the morning and then latitude being latitude.
Some people came past.
Hey, look, this one's got a push chair outside.
Oh, no.
Hey, God, there's probably like a bear bear bear. I struggle struggle struggle struggle struggle I struggle I struggle I struggle I struggle I struggle I struggle I struggle I struggle I struggle I struggle I struggle I struggle I stagagagagagagagague I stague I stague I stague I stague I stag probably like a bear bear. I struggle with Latitude because at most festivals there's like a performers campsite
and normally that is basically just for the comedians because there's only a comedy stage
and then there's music, but Latitude, there's too many performers.
There's people doing absolute shit.
There's loads going on, what the fuck is that?
And it's so busy, there's so many people.
I'm not sure sure that it's so busy that's so busy that's so busy that's so busy that's so busy that's so busy that's so busy that's so busy that's so busy that actually sells any tickets. I think it is
only performers watching each other just five and a half thousand poets
watching Durand Duran on a Sunday afternoon. Incredible scenes. Yeah no I have I've done all the festivals and that you know that
Billy Eilish thing so my daughter was early teens then, and she loved Billy Elish, and we watched her set, and
then just as she was finishing, I said, I reckon this will be the last song, we whipped
back stage. So as Billy Elish came off, and everyone is too, there's cool as the other side of the pillow, right. So, thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And the thi. And we watched, th. And we watched, th. And we watched, th. And we watched, th. And we watched, and we watched, and we watched, and we watched, and we th. And we, and we, and we, and we, and we, and we. And, and we. And, and we. And, th. And, th. And, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And, the. And, thee. And, they. And, thee. And, they. And, they. And, th th th thee. And, thee. And th th th th one's like clapping or anything. And when she came off stage, we gave her a huge round of applause
and she looked over at my daughter and smiled and waved.
I say, yes.
Oh, wow.
That's cool.
That's cool.
And especially she's gone on now to be this major story.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Because I'm at this stage now, right, th and I, th and I, th and I, th and I, th and I, th and I, th and I'm at th and I'm at th and I'm at th and I'm at th. th. th. th. th. thathea, and I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the the the the th. And, th. And, the th. And, th. And, th. And, the. And, thea. And, to to to to to to thea. to to to to to to thea. to thea. And, tha's become in the last three weeks Taylor Swift obsessed.
Ah, right. You know you can do a course? You can do a course you could do a course you could sign up to as a
to a parent. What to learn English? So you knew the was going on in
the show you the world's going on in the show. That's good. I love you, Glasgow. It's been a fun. Just a little fun. There was a the course a course a course the course the course the course the course the course the course the course the course th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. you th. you you you th th you you you you th. you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th. th. you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tho can can't tho can't tho can't thoo. thooooooooooooooooooo. the. you. you. going on in the song? I love you, glad's going, just been a fun. Just a bit of fun to Lowegies.
Yeah, they like teach you everything you need to know about Taylor Swift so you could enjoy the gig.
Because I'm doing that. I'm not doing that but like we listened to it in the car and we're always listening to it now. And we're always listening to it now. Have to to to to to to to the to the to the to the the to the their to their their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their always. Yeah. their always. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. Yeah. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. th. I. I. Yeah. th. I. th. Yeah. Yeah. I. they. they're they're they're they're they're they're like on the way home I just carried on listening to it because I was enjoying it. Do you sit at home now and listen to Billy Eilish? Yeah I do. I mean I sort of with
my big kids, they I don't know whether this is reasonable or not but whatever, screw it.
I didn't really let them have any wheels on the bus when they were little. It was proper music from the get go. So yeah, yeah because yeah, because I just was like, I mean it's music isn't it?
As long as it's good.
So they were into reasonable stuff from early on.
But I don't know whether my daughter's.
I mean, my son, my big son, Mercifully has been into weird music from the beginning.
Basically it's been obsessed with guerrillas since they first started.
So that's always fine,
you know.
I mean I kept now that's what I call Disney as the only CD in my car for about four years.
I'd enjoy that I think.
Yeah, it was fine.
That Moana one's quality.
Oh, so good.
That Moana one's quality.
Oh, so far I'll go, that one. I'm so excited for Moana 2. Or is it coming out? What pay attention?
Our kids are slightly too old now, aren't they?
Well, I'm 51 and I'm going with or without Billy.
If you didn't have a two-year-old, it would be suspicious.
Well, yeah, it's really good.
I took him to Disney on ice.
Oh my God, I swear
to God his eyes. I was genuinely thinking of... There's a two-year-old comprehend on Disney
on ice. No, he didn't have a clue, but they're a massive, it's a knockout. Yeah, right? On ice.
There was a massive Maui from Moana and skating around and Moana fell over. I mean, it was incredible. Billy, literally, he didn't blink. He did not blink.
Not once.
Is it true he's named after Billy Ilish?
No, it's not.
No, don't believe Twitter.
I wanted to call him Floyd.
His name is Billy Floyd.
Floyd Mayweather.
Rachel absolutely put her foot down.
So Billy Floyd, Paris Briggsstock.
Yeah, yeah. That is a thue. It is thue. It is thue. It is a. It is a. It is a serious, is a serious. It is a serious. It is a serious. It is a serious. It is a serious. It is a serious. It is a serious. It is a serious. It is a serious. that is a serious. that is a serious. that is a serious. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's. It's thr. thr. thr. thr. thi. thr. iggs Stock. Yeah, yeah. That is a serious name Billy Floyd Paris Briggsock.
There's been a big row because all the Briggs stocks including my eldest son
Yeah are all something Owen Briggsstock right so my dad he's Nicholas Owen Briggsstock so his initials genuinely a knob
right so are you are you Owing Briggs stock but you just dropped it for comedy? Yeah, yeah,
Marcus, Alexander Owen Briggsstock, yeah, so anyway, but Billy is not because we wanted to keep
Rachel's surname in there and we had a terrible ding-dong with my mom, which did you? Yeah, yeah,
proper. She spoke at length for about 10 minutes and I'll just tell you what she finished with
she looked at Rachel and I and she said, So between the two of you you have destroyed
500 years of Briggs stock family history
Fuck it out. You should have an Owen Briggs stock.
Yeah.
Oh wait a minute, is your mom married into it? Yeah, so she's not even of Owing Briggs stocks?
Yeah, so she's not even of O'Brien. told. It's all fine. If Billy hadn't then then then th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and thu th and thu thu thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi they they's thi's tho- they, they, they, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiii. tooooooooooooooooo' thi. thi. thi. thi. their their's odd. It's odd. Also you've banged out two Owen Briggs stocks.
Yeah, exactly. It's all fine. If Billy hadn't come along she wouldn't know any different would she?
There's still two. It's all fine. What is the history of the own Briggs stocks? Is it
good or bad? 500 conveyor into some bad stuff, Marcus? It's probably bad. There's some statues that need taken down there, that's what I th th tho tho th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's the the their their their their their their the the their the the. the. theathe only theathe only theememan't the' thathe only thi. thiou thi. thi. thiome' thiome' thiole' thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thee thee the the the the.'m calling. I think there are certain parts of Wales
where the Briggs stock name is still something that will get people to spit
on the floor. Because they hate the now show.
Mark has had a terrible gig at the glee. What are you like as a dad thing?
For my experiences of you you're all very chilled out. You're not I kind of, you're
not someone who seems to have strong kind of, I'm going to boss the room, this kind of thing.
No, I don't see you as too intense as a dad. No, I don't think so. I have certain places where
I haven't, like a total blind spot. I'd be interested to know from the two of you actually. You know as comic you do loads of traveling on your own. Right? So you get into a rhythm of you know for example how to get through an airport with minimum
fuss. When I do the security thing, if there's any liquid in my bag and there probably isn't any
way because I've already at home gone, well I'm not dealing with that. There's no chance. If there's any, it's already in the ziplock thing, ready to to to to come to to to to to the to to the the th. to the zip lock. the th. th. the the th. th. the the the th. the the their. their. their. their their. their to to be. the. to. to. to. to. their. to. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. to. I. I. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. th. th. to. th. to. to. to. th. to. to. the. toe. toe. the the. toe. the toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. And. And. And, toe. And, toe. And, the zip lock thing, ready to come out and it's done.
So I'm super efficient and my dream scenario, catching a train or plane or whatever,
is that I step onto the train as the doors go, beep, beep, beep, be fucking mental.
No time wasted. What? Really? Really? Love it. So you're getting the 1204 from Kings Cross to Newcastle.
I would leave my house in Ballam for the 1204 from Kings Cross.
I would leave my house no earlier than 1125.
What? Whoa!
Whoa!
That is fucked up.
I would...
I would say that that would allow me time to go and get not just a
prep coffee but a good coffee from the one just around the corner and still make
that train. And what if something goes wrong? Well I don't think it will.
But the thing is you see when I then travel with the rest of the family, and I have those
efficiencies just kind of baked in, and I'm just so used to it, they do find it pretty
awful.
Can I just say, I would hate to travel with you, Marcus?
Sure, that's fine.
So this morning, I did the school run.
I got the two kids in the car. I realized I didn't to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the their to have their to have their their their to have their their their th. th. their th. their thoe thoe thoes. thoes. thoes. their thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes. thoes. thoes. tho tho tho tho their. their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. thoe. thoe. I. I. I the. the. I the. I the. I thee. I theea. thoooooooooea. I. thooea. thoea. thoea. If. thea. So this morning I did the school run, yeah, I got the two kids in the car, I
realized I didn't have a jumper for my son. Yeah, so I had to get both the kids out
the car because we're not on a driveway on a road. Josh I know the answer but where it was Rose?
She was away. Yeah, she's away. It's his new cat trace, Marcus. Yeah, she's away. It's his new cat trade marks. She's his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his his the the the the the cat. Yeah. Yeah. It's his the the the cat. It's his cat. It's his cat. It's his cat. It's his cat. It's his cat. It's his cat. It's his cat. It's his cat. It's his cat cat cat cat. It's his cat's his the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th cat cat cat cat cat cat trace trace. He's trade car. He's trade car cat trade car car trace. He's trutut. He's new cat cat trut. He's trut. He's new cat cat trut. He's new cat cat true. He's th. It's the the th. Yeah, she's quite a lot of the moment, but we haven't split up. Don't believe the online show. Yeah, sure. Yeah, right. She's just away. They're not together. Yeah. But I had
to like, I was like, oh, that's annoying. It's thear. It's annoying. I've got to go back, get them both back in the house. That's probably going to take four or five minutes. It didn't to to to to to to th me me me me me me me me me me me me me to to to to to to thi. thi. to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that. that. thea. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toea. toea. toea. toea. the the the the the the the ta. tha. the. this morning. If that had been you, it's game over. Well it would be that
Billy would be quite cold. Without his jumper. That's how that would play out. Marcus, can I ask you
a question? Say you're going to Heathrow from Ballon, okay? Yeah. And so say you're flying to
Spain, but you're going on your own and then you'd be going with your kids? Yeah. What time would you leave and how early do you get th you get th you get th you get th you get th you get th you get th you get th you get th you get to get th you get to get th? to get th? to get th. th. to get th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho? thr. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. to, thi. to, thi. thi. to, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to Spain but you're going on your own and then you'd be going with your kids. Yeah. What time would you leave and how early do you get there before? Okay, right. It's a midday
flight to Spain. Yeah, so you've booked a good one there, no early get up. No exactly.
Normally two hours before you have to arrive at Ace of Yes. So nowadays if I was traveling on my own hour and a half maximum, two hours two hours is a nonsense. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah................................................................. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. He throws slower to get through than Gatwick
these days. Gatwick is lightning quick. Do you know the little cut-through as well after
security? No. So after security in Gat-Hits, right? Yeah. I can't remove it's not. After security,
there's escalators that go down to Duty-Free. Yeah, back out of the wigly woo. Absolute nonsense. Yeah, but if you come out the security, if you do an immediate left, it's almost like
the wheelchair, accessibility or praet, if you go left there, it's just a straight corridor
that takes you into the food and drink area.
No duty-free.
Oh, so sad.
Yeah, so I'd leave one hour from Ballam to Heathrow, hour and a half to get through the airport.
And what about if you've got the kids?
Would you holiday as a full family or would just leave a couple of days before?
Yeah, I'd leave a couple of days before.
Yeah, check into a local awful hotel. You have to be efficient. I mean, tha tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, to to tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. I'm, thooooooooooo.a. Sooooo. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo. So, to be efficient. I mean we tried to fly,
my sister lives in Canada and we tried to go over there to see them with all
five of us and it was Air Transat and we filled in the thing and I got there and
they said oh can we have your Esther forms please and I went yeah there
and each one had to be filled in individually and they said, oh no, that's not an ESTA. That's the Welcome Canada. That was a COVID thing.
We don't need that anymore.
And I went, well, it's the one that's on your website.
And they went, yeah, but you need this now.
So we had to do Ester forms at the airport.
Oh, no.
And they have to be approved approved approved approved approved approved approved approved approved approved and we just stood there and watched the clock tick down and couldn't
get on the flight. No! My God! Guotted! And I'd left so long I'd built in about
three hours at the airport. And it was just your one didn't come through?
Yeah it came through about four minutes after the plane took off. Oh my god. Was there any part of you thiiiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi? thi? thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that that that that, that, that, that, and I thathea, and thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat, and we, and we tho, and we, and tho, and tho, and tho, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, thi, and that, thi, and that, and that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho? that, that, the, that, that, that, that, that, and there any part of you thinking, let them go and I come later?
Yes, absolutely.
We talked it through, but I'm the only one that can drive.
So, and it was like going to see my sister, who Rachel doesn't really know yet.
Oh God, yeah.
So we talked it through, we're just like, oh,. That's like a film isn't it? And then they get snowed in together. Yeah, exactly. And then they actually decide that you know. Big planes trains and
automobiles vibe about it. But no, I am definitely a prick in an airport. Definitely. The kids call it.
They go, oh shit. He's doing his airport walk. So arms quite far from the body. Yeah, and a lot of speed. Really. the kids. the kids. the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're a big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the body, and a lot of speed. A lot of speed. A lot of speed. I'm a big man,
Mark, because I imagine you can walk fast, big long legs. Yeah, it's running speed for the
rest of the family and one of those. A bit like competitive dad from the fast show. Come on!
Come on, Gate 37. We know this. That's, it says on the board there, that's an 18-minute walk. We can do it in 12 in 12 in 12 in 12 in 12 in 12 in 12. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come. Come. Come. Come. the. the. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. t. t. to. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. the. It's. th. It's. It's. It's. says on the board there that's an 18 minute walk we can do it in 12 come on and so where would you I can't believe I'm asking more questions
about this but I am where would you sit to kill time when you're at the
airport are you sitting at the gate or are you no chilled enough to go to
prep no prep a hundred percent prep yeah for me it's all a better efficiency so I don't want to spend ages going somewhere.
I don't want to queue until you have to queue.
I don't want to be at the gate ages before you have to be there.
All the dream scenarios is you arrive at the gate as they start letting people through
straight on the plane with just minimal fuss.
It's just the baked in business of traveling on your own, being a comic.
Jamie Rednapp's like that with airports. He arrives literally like about, wait it says to check in
closes, he's there like a minute before and then he'll check in, drop his bag off and then he'll
walk just continually until he gets on the plane. Yeah, will it? It's just it doesn't have to sit or wait. to stop at would suggest though that Jamie Rednap is in with a slightly higher chance of them
holding the plane for him than I.
You know, I think the idea of someone on air transit going, I don't think we should take off yet,
that bloke from the now show hasn't cleared Pratt. They wouldn't hold a plane for Jamie Rednap. They've held a plane tha' their. their. their. their. their. their. to. their. their. to. to. their. to. to. their. their. their. to. their. their. their. their. their. to be. to be. to be. their. their. to be. their their their their their their their chance. their chance. their chance. their chance. their chance. their chance. their chance. their chance. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah... C. C. C. Yeah. Yeah. C. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah................................................ Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. mean it's going to happen. They wouldn't hold a plane for Jamie Rednapp would they?
They've held Jimmy Carr's got a plane to turn round on the runway and come back and got him.
It's actually saw his teeth, reflectable.
Well no, he got there and they said you've missed it, he's starting the taxi in and I think he said, can you tell the pilot that I I I I I I I I I've that I I I I've that I've that I've the pilot.. the pilot. that I I I've the pilot. that I've the pilot. that I've the pilot. that I've the pilot. that I've the pilot. that I've the pilot. that I've the pilot that I've tell can't can't can't the pilot. the pilot. the pilot. to to the pilot. the pilot. Can't the pilot. Can't the pilot the pilot can't the pilot can't the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot the pilot. the pilot. the pilot. that I've the pilot. that I've that I've that I've the pilot. that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've tell. that I've that I've tell. that I've tell. that I've tell. that I've tell you've tell you've he was a fan of Jimmy Carr so he'd come back to meet Jimmy Car.
Fuck it out. Good God Jimmy Car, that's too much power for one man.
Yeah. Oh my word.
How good would you feel? Can you imagine that the feeling of missing a flight and then
actually you can go on the flight why? Because you've been successful.
the ego that could create. Oh my God. Could you imagine how annoyed the rest of the flight were?
Yeah, that's a livid.
Absolutely livid.
Imagine that you go back for something and then you'd hear,
ho-ho!
Who's that?
It's doing it for you?
Who's that?
Wuh?
Hello, I'm Marcus Briggsstock. This is How Was It For You, a review-based podcast. We're going to be asking each other,
How was it for you?
It was pretty good, Rachel.
About all sorts of different things.
Things we've eaten?
Things we've seen.
Places we've been.
Things we've smelled.
People we've met sometimes.
Those will be, we'll have to talk about them without giving away who they were. listener can enjoy. Exactly. You can get all of the episodes in the places where podcasts are. Have you passed these awful character traits onto your
children? No, no I haven't. No, so my big lad likes to get there early and yeah he's
sort of quite nervy about travel. M is more, I'd say she's more relaxed and Billy we
don't know, he's not
not autonomous enough yet. But you know places he does want to go, he's in no hurry to get
there. Like the playground, you know, you can generate a lot of excitement by saying, right,
come on, let's go to the sand pit and he's like, yeah, and he's all over it and then it's a good hour before you can coax even one foot into a
sock or anything like that. Did you find that your sort of parenting techniques
and some of your little tricks of the trade were like because it was a 17 year
gap were like Rachel might be like no I've read a book we don't do that
the more actually Marcus. Yeah can't hit them with a shoe yeah yeah yeah you need a car seat now you can't just stuff the the the that like in the back of my dad had a van
when we were kids he had a van and we loved it just rolled around in the back of the van.
What like a transit van? Yeah he deliberately like hit corners quite fast so that we could go, hey!
Oh I'd love that. Yeah it was good times man. Yeah great time. People were fine. But for the bloody health and safety boards were enough fun right. Yeah. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. the. the the the the the the the the the their. their. the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their. their. that. Yeah, it was good times man. Yeah, great time. People were fine. But for the bloody health and safety boards were enough fun, right? Yeah, exactly. The snowflake erratty. What had I remembered?
I'd forgotten was how competitive new parents are. Yes, because you've totally left that world.
A hundred percent. And then you have to come back into it. Yeah, the whole business of, oh mine's crawling or mine's rolling over
or mine's walking and all the rest of it. I mean, I've joked about it on stage, but it is true.
If you've already had kids, you know the benefit of your child staying where you left it.
Yeah, you don't want them to walk. No, I did very little to encourage Billy to walk, crawl, move or anything. Just give him what he wants. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thii. the the the thi. the the the the the the the did very little to encourage Billy to walk, crawl, move or anything. Just
give him what he wants. Bring it to him. Yeah, because you think it'll be freeing and it's
actually a disaster. Oh, it's a total nightmare. That thing, parents put a thing just out
of a child's reach to encourage them to like belly wiggle over to it. And then they're all excited. You know, he got, he went over over thi thi over thi over thi over thi over thi over thi thi thi th it and then they're all excited you know he got he went over there and pick that thing up I didn't I just put everything he might
possibly need in a pile and put him on top of it before having kids it's someone
he's walking at 11 months I've been a whole brilliant well done but now
I'm really sorry for you I'm so sorry that's a real shame isn. Well, let's know if we can help him anyway.
Yeah, I'm sorry to hear.
We're here for you.
I don't even like it, like nursery have been helping him learn to take his coat and shoes off.
And yes, that's one less job, but then you have to find them.
Yeah.
You know, I always knew where his coat and shoes were when I was in charge of taking them off. Yeah. Because it was Rachel's first child, was you a bit like wary of going, oh no, that's
what you do, because obviously you don't want to feel like you're telling someone what
to do and it's quite frustrating.
A hundred percent.
I had to make any stuff that I definitely knew for a fact look like I was guessing. It looks with these bottles like, I don't know if you can, but it looks like you can sterilise
them in the microwave.
I think.
Talking to the man that's sterilised 10,000 of them.
Look, if this one breaks, I'll get another one, but let's give that a run out.
Let's try that.
Wash, wash, straight in the microwave.there you go, you know, less kit.
Yeah, no, I definitely did.
But then I was, I was helpful in terms of the absolute horrendousness of their breathing
during the first eight months, you know, when they're still in, often still in your bedroom,
and they go, Yeah. Like a silence of seemingly about 10 minutes and you've gasped on to sleep and you're like, oh Christ!
Yeah, and they do it all the time and sort of croak and fart and squeak and all those sorts.
I was good where that was concerned.
Yeah, I could be reassuring.
It is that weird collision of someone who's seen it all,
so it's like, oh, I'll be fine.
And someone who's having their first kid
so has all of those things
that we associate with having your first kid,
all those anxieties.
And that is two different worlds colliding. Yeah, and stuff like knowing how quickly to change a nappy,
just knowing that's not finished,
or if we don't change that in the next 10 seconds,
that weirdly will form a sort of poo helmet.
Yeah. All up the back and over the head.
I still don't understand, three kids in still don't understand the physics of how they
can hook a poo in and around a nappy and right up the back like that.
Yeah, it is adonishing.
You'd think it would go down, wouldn't you?
You'd think gravity.
They're coming through the legs.
But no, it must be a literally a jet of shit.
Yeah.
Like when you put your finger on the end of a hose, that kind of velocity.
Also, and this is terribly wasteful, apologies.
I even used to be an environmental campaigner, but when to simply bin a garment.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
There are some items, aren't there, where you're like,
nah, I mean, we could definitely try and wash that,
but there's no problem.
No, also look, we want to save the world
and be environmentally friendly,
but what kind of world are we living in
keeping clothes covered in shit?
Yeah.
But save it for what? Yeah. We gotta're going to save it, but it's not worth it.
Save it, but save it for what?
Really?
Exactly.
I think it would be better to have no humanity than humanity wearing clothes covered
in shit.
I'm going with that.
Any parent who's gone at a car seat with a small packet of wet wipes and cotton
buds trying to pick vomit out of the fastenings. And is considered not just to the to to save but but but but but but but the th but th. But th but save but save but save but th. But th. But th. But to save but save but save but save but save but save but save but save but save to save but save to save to save but save to save to save but save to save to save to save to save the the the to save but save to save to save to save but save but save but to save but to save but to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. th. th. th. th. to save but save but save but save but save to save to save to save to save to save the. Save it. Save it. Save it's the. Save it's the. Save it's to save. Save it but save but save but save but save but save but save th. Save it's cotton buds trying to pick vomit out of the fastenings.
And it's considered not just been in the car seat but writing off the car.
We've all been there. Can't we just say this fell foul of you, Les?
That happened to Lou the other day, Eldis, who's eight was reeded in the car and was sick, but they hadn't been sick for ages, but when an eight-year-old sick, it's a drunk, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and, and......ed. Oh, their. Oh, and...ed. Oh, and...a. Oh, to. Oh, toed. to. toed. toed. toed. toed. toed. toed. toed. toed. toed. the the the the the the the the car and was sick, but they hadn't been sick for ages, but when an eight-year-old sick,
it's like a drunk man, the amount,
it's like, it's not like,
oh, a bit of sick from the baby's like,
ugh, bleh, and it's just everywhere.
It was awful.
Oh, God.
And it's only then that you realize and stuff in cars have a lot going on. They've got a lot of sections. Yeah. Oh God.
Bill's had quite a good warning system when he's going to puke in the car,
where like you can tell if he goes still and quiet, you're like,
we've got about two minutes to find a section of hard shoulder,
which you generally don't have anymore, but about two minutes.
But the other day, absolutely out of nowhere of nowhere happy as Larry looking at a book singing waving at staff chatting away and then
blah just oh god everything have you seen that clip of the couple at Safari Park
and they've got the little baby and they go oh look look there's like a
little rhino and then the baby just goes blah and it's and milk everywhere it's
I'll dig it out of fun I don't miss it you know I mean I haven't seen a child a the the the the the the child the child the child the child the child the child the child there there there there there there there there there there there there there there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like the little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little the the the the the the the little little little little little little little little little little little little the the the the there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's then the baby just goes, and milk everywhere. It's, I'll dig it out of private.
Oh, I don't miss it.
Do you know what I mean?
I haven't seen a child be sick in a while now
because I've got a three and a six-year-old.
Yeah, it's amazing how quickly you forget
that that was a constant variable.
Yeah, it's important to forget as well.
You have to like that. And we thought Billy was
okay, you were watching him on the monitor. And then I glanced back at the monitor and could
see he was crying. And he had just like through the bars of his cot, he'd just sent him.
Puk across the whole room. And I was the only one who wasn't poorly. But pleasingly, his monitor is, I assume a lot of people have got these now, but it's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, to, to, and, and, and, and, and, to, and, to, to, and, and, and, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, th. And, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the, the, the, to. And, to me. And, to. And, so, so, so, to.a. And, to. And, to. And, the, the, so, the, the, so, and, so, is, his monitor is, I assume a lot of people have got these now, but it's like, it's an app on our phone, right, so we can watch him. And some of his best stuff
is when he's just lying on his own first thing in the morning and he has a chat, he talks to all his
kind of poison all the rest of it. The other morning he did two things, he was singing and then heckled himself. He went twinkle, twinkle, no, not that one.
And then started a new song.
I was like, I want to be clear, that's not come from me.
But my favorite, the other day he was lying in bed,
just chatting away, and then really loudly he went, we don't eat farts.
And can you record these on your phone then?
I don't know if we can record actually.
I assume you probably can.
We had the plug-in monitor ones and stuff like that, but it's so easy on an app now.
Having the temperature, when we got a monitor that told the temperature that was like an absolute godsend
because then you're not constantly flapping around. Is it too hot? I was so obsessed with my kid th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. I thatatatuu- the the the plug in the plug in the plug in the plug the plug the plug the plug the plug the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I the thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I was thi. I was toge. I was toge. I was together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. together. I was the. I was together. I was so obsessed with my kid was too hot or too cold for two years. It's ridiculous.
So our one did temperature and then the temperature gauge stopped working.
But I actually think it might be a built-in thing in that type of monitor where at the age where
you don't have to be obsessed about that.
It just went, we're not going to do that anymore.
No, I think it genuinely just broke but it was I mean he may it may be
like not having a jumper in the car he may simply be very cold at night. I can't know. We would
know. We cannot know. Let's talk about your podcast with Rachel you've got into the territory
of working together. Yeah. I mean previous you did lip sinking famously during lockdown together.
Yeah, yeah. So we both had COVID really early on. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the famously during lockdown together. Yeah, yeah.
So we both had COVID really early on.
Yeah.
So we were right in that and when we came out and really realized, oh right, everything's gone.
We started the lip-sync thing and then we started doing a Tuesday night live show
on Zoom, which was most comics nightmare.
But we did ours through the brilliant James Gill at Always
Be Comedy.
Best Comedy Club.
Ah, so great.
We sort of had a front row of about 20 couples on the screen and they'd have their mics
up and they kind of knew the drill in terms of not talking.
So, and they were great. The live shows are really good and we should have done a podcast
straight away. That's exactly what we were making. When I saw you doing your lip-sinking during
lockdown I thought lockdown is very different if you don't have children.
Yeah. Like when you were getting costumes together I was thinking I only had one kid I
don't know what I was fucking complaining about it was fucking mad. Yeah I was like oh my god
this is impossible and then you were dressed as Robbie Williams I was like, oh my God, this is impossible. And then you were dressed as Robbie Williams.
I was like, unbelievable.
In full, let me entertain you makeup.
In full, let me entertain your makeup.
We would spend most of a day making one lip-sink video,
which was also why we stopped.
It was when we tried to do Intergalactic by the Beastie Boys,
and I built myself a robot costume
and sprayed it silver and sprayed my face silver and then realized I couldn't really do
the words.
I just couldn't really do it.
And I was like, no, this is stupid now. This is not fun anymore, so we stopped.
So tell us about the concept of the podcast. So it's basically what we ended up doing
on Tuesday Night Club was just talking about the stuff we'd done. So it's called How was it for you
to the too and it's us reviewing things but we're not reviewing art so we're not saying or we went to see
that film and it was good but if we have been to cinema we might for we might review. We went to see Oliver at the West Yorkshire Playhouse
on what happened to be a school's matinee day.
So we might review being in a theater
with 800 school children.
Yes, for example.
And what would you give cinema popcorn out of?
Is it out of five?
Yeah, out of five.
noot.
Really?
Both of us turned against popcorn in a way that's surprised. Is that popcorn general or cinema popcorn? Yeah popcorn
general popcorn is I think it's pretty awful really. I love cinema popcorn when
it's warm. I love it. Do you? It's quite caloricicic actually I
got the up with me because I was trying to put in what I was eating on my like
app thing and yeah I put in cinema cinema popcorn not large it was 996 calories. What? Yeah.
No wait was it Butterkist or something? No it was just a cinema one that's basically
toffee. Fuck it out. Double check it but I think it's right. That's a hell of a lot of popcorn.
All the more reason I'd ban it. A mayonnaise is a lot of calories as well. I wouldn't put that on popcorn. but serious callos, is that? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you want to stick to yogurt and seeds.
Yeah.
So what I've got the best and the worst reviews that you've given?
Well, tech updates got a minus.
Apple sent me that thing going, hi, I hope it's okay.
We're just gonna, just there's all, do it while you're sleeping. And I woke up to a picture of a half-bit an apple on the screen of my phone and nothing
else.
Oh no.
Wow.
And it genuinely, like I complain about my phone a lot because I'm really phone addicted.
How many hours a day you're doing, Marcus?
I think I'm down to about five.
Yeah, but I don't really trust that because if I listen to a podcast or a YouTube,
just the audio and I'm doing stuff, I'm like, does that have a screen time?
Yeah, I've had quite a few when I've been gigging and it's gone right 12 hours yesterday. I'm like,
what? And then you go, well, six and a Yeah, I wasn't also on Twitter apart from traffic lights.
So yeah, but that's one of the things, you know, like Billy being two, he needs me for 10 seconds
and then he doesn't need me for four minutes and then he needs me completely for 10 minutes and then he doesn't need me for half an hour and those tiny bits of time it's really hard to do
anything proper and your phone is just like I'll feel that. Yeah it's terrible
for that. And then I'm super conscious of what he's seeing so from the age
like one and a bit when he could walk if I left my phone on the sofa and got up he would pick it up and bring it to me me and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I and I that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. and I th. And I that that that that that that that's like that's th. And I was like that's like that's that's that's that's that's that's th. And I'm th. And I'm th. And I'm that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And theean. And the. And the. And the. And the phone on the sofa and got up, he would pick it up
and bring it to me and I was like, that's so bad. And she just knows, yeah, my phone belongs
in my hand. Do you know what that's known as passive aggressive? Yeah, it's passive aggressive from a one-and-a-half
old. Here, you go, Daddy. You'll probably need this, weren't you boiling the kettle. Yeah, I saw you look a bit sad actually just playing with me. Do you need this to be happy? Yeah, do you need that? I don't know daddy, is it how much dopamine do I deliver?
Is it the same as Reels or is it a bit less? Billy, it's much less? Do you play out any sort of
arguments at home on the pod? Is there any sort of couple arguments on that or do you just keep it off pod or does it sneak on because? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to be th th th to be th to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to be to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. th. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Do th. Do thi. Do the? Yeah. Do the. Do you theateateateate. Do thooooooooooooo' too' too' to to to to the. Do the? Is there any sort of couple arguments on that or do you just keep it off pod or does it sneak on because it's inevitable with a couple?
We do a bit but we've had to be better than a couple having a Barney is there?
We've had to be careful. The day of the tech updates, we actually re-recorded that section
because I was in such a filthy mood. And after we'd done the pod recording, I went, how was that? And she went, Rachel went, well, a bit of shit really.
And I was like, oh, a bit of moody. And she went, you've literally been a nightmare and
we ended up re-recording it because apparently I was surly.
Because you're surly. What are you like when you're surly? Surly and sullen. I think I'm pretty awful,
to be honest. Just, yeah, because I'm loud and big and noisy,
99% of the time, you know, take up a lot of space. So when I go into myself and I'm a bit quiet and aloof,
yeah, that is the loudest noise there is. Yes. It is fairly rare, but like I am around tech especially, I'm like, ah, God, nothing
works, nothing works.
And then after that, just seeing a grump for ages.
I'm going to call it.
Do you think you've got a genuine issue with yourself using your phone?
Yes. It feels like it troubles you.
Yeah, 100% does. I mean, look, I'm an addict through and through, right?
Food, so I've been sober from drugs and alcohol for so long because those two, you make a decision and you stop.
So I don't drink and I don't take drugs and I haven't done for over 30 years, right?
Be difficult with food to just cut it out.
Yeah, you have to just... Exactly. That's it. I I I I I I I I I I I I. th. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi. thoomea. thoome. thoome. thoome. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. So, so tho. So, so tho. So, so th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. So, I th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, I thi. thi. thi. I thiiiiiiiiiiiii. So, I thiiiiiiii. So I've thi. So I've thi. So, I it out. Yeah, it's very difficult to just... Yeah, exactly.
That's it. I'm done with food now. So with food you have to make a decision three times a day.
Oh, I must be full now because everyone else has stopped eating and the waiters are crying.
Yeah. So that's a tricky one and the phone is for someone with like an addictive personality,
the phone is horrendous because you're never going to hit a rock bottom. Yeah. You know, you're never going to have an intervention from family. They'll just go.
You'll just have a one and a half year old bringing your phone. Exactly. Exactly. So,
you know. I thought about moving to one of those, they're called like a dumb phone. Dumb phone. Yeah, yeah, I have. you. thrown. You do. thrown. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I, I, yeah, I, I, I, I, I, yeah, I, yeah, yeah, the. Yeah, the. the. the. Yeah, I have. Yeah, I have. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I, I, I, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I, I, I, I. Yeah, I, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I, I the. Yeah, I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. the th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the job. That's the thing. I know it sounds like a silly excuse,
but you do, you know, it would be so hard
just to only do my emails like once a day
or not comp- You know what I mean?
When you're out and about doing stuff and talking.
Your emails once a day,
social media is genuinely useful in our job.
A hundred percent it is. two-thirds of what I write is a reaction to things that have happened in the news, which,
you know, often when I take out brand new material that I've written on the day, it will
always be reactive to something that's happened there and then because you get a response from
an audience then that they're like, oh, this is exciting, wow, that thing just happened today. You can't go, I'll have some material for you thua for you thua thua thua. thian. thian. thian. thian. thii. I'll have thi. I'll have some material for thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'll have thi. thi. th. th. th. I'll have thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. toda. to. toda. to. toda. to. toda. ta. toda. toda. today. t the paper land in its physical form tomorrow morning.
Exactly.
By then, everyone's over it, especially these days.
So yeah, I have thought about having a dumb phone and I have tried putting limitas on it
and stuff.
And I'm definitely better at it than I was, but then I have periods where I just disappear into
the vortex of social media. Yeah, you can get a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thine, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th........ Yeah, th.. Yeah, th...... Yeah, th.... Yeah, th... Yeah, th..... Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, th. By. By, th. vortex of social media. Yeah, you can get a bit comatose,
like you're just like flicking through
and then you're like sat and realize,
you're like on a train or in a car.
Yeah, and I don't wanna be too indiscreet,
my big kids are adults now
and it's up to them what information is shared,
but I hope they won't mind me saying
that in the discussions I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've the discussions I've the discussions I've with both of them, they've both said now they wish they hadn't had smartphones as young as they did. Oh really? Which obviously at the
time they were like, yeah but everyone's got one. Yeah, well no three or four.
Yeah, they needed the new... What age did they have them, Marcus? So they had phones because they were going to school on their own about 10, so they had phones, so they had phones their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their own about 10, so they had phones from them, but they were dumb phones.
They had smartphones from sort of 1213. Right. And you know, we put the filters and the
da da da da da and this and that on them, but the truth is it was the kids we were asking to help
us put them on. So if you think they also don't know how to take them off again, you're pissed. I, I, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th an th an th an th an th an thi, I thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, to to to to to to told, to to to that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, th take them off again. You're pissed. I mean they're like oh yeah my
parents have put a blocker on my one yeah it doesn't work after they leave the
room. It's bollows but they've both said yeah really wish that we hadn't had
those and their age group they're the first ones to get smartphones as
children first generation to try and navigate all of that and then of course lockdown came along when they were in their late their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their tho. tho. thock. thock. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoooooea. tho. try and navigate all of that. And then of course lockdown came along when they were in their late and mid teens which amplified
all of that. It was a tough time for that. So it's been really tough for them
and they are by no means alone. And I think I'd be very, very cautious about
dispensing any advice to any parent but I would say if you've got kids who are at the age where they're pestering you
either for your phone or to have their own, the fight you might have with them now is worth it.
Don't give them a smartphone. Yeah, well that sort of pencil date for hours is when they start
secondary school, getting a phone, but not necessarily a smartphone because if they're going to a school on their own on a bus. Yeah, but yeah, it's difficult. Well. Well. Well. Well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a their. Yeah. It's a their. Yeah. It's a their. Yeah. Yeah. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. It's a their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. the. I. the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. the. the. the. the. the on their own on a bus. Yeah. But yeah it's difficult man. Well that's it. I'm a really good mate of all of us actually. I won't say who because I don't want to say about his son
but like his son was the only one who didn't have a smartphone. He was the only one and he was getting on
the bus every day he was doing about 40 minutes to and from school and he was the end it just made no difference because he was just sitting next to his mate looking at his mate's phone yeah looking at his mate's phone
and his mate's phone had even fewer filters than he would have had if he'd had
his own phone so yeah and bless him he's a super smart kid he taught piano
to younger kids earned his own money and said I'm gonna get my own
phone tell us the name of the podcast again how was it the name of the podcast again. How was it for you? Are you on tour? No, I'm not on tour. No, we do it's
it's taking it in turns. Rachel's on tour. She's out doing her brilliant show
poise. I assume it's brilliant. I haven't seen it obviously.
I've heard all the songs and they're amazing. So yeah she's touring poise at the moment and yeah the podcast how was it for you and it's I have to say having sort of held out from the world of podcasting because
mainly because of having Billy and we were busy and all the rest of it we're
having such a good time making it. I know the great fun we love it great
fun yeah final question Josh yes and this is fun because we've had
Rachel on we always ask our guests if there's one thing that if your partner's listening, I don't know whether she will listen, if you'd like to say that
it's just something incredible about her parenting that you know you go, oh
that's why I'm with her I couldn't do that myself, what an amazing person.
And one thing that annoys you but you haven't brought up because it's awkward but were they to listen now this is your chance to the the to the to to the to the to to the to to the the to to the to the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I I'm the their. I'm their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I I I I I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I. I. their. their their their tre. treck. treck. treck. treck. true. true. true. true. true. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. tre. I'm. I'm. to tell her. Okay, the slightly annoying thing, let's start with that,
because that's right at the front of my mind.
I just don't think the tellie should go on before nursery.
I just don't.
Respect.
I just, you know.
It's a big call.
Huge goal. Yeah, I just, I kind of feel like,
it just makes leaving for nursery much more difficult.
But what if she wants to watch everyone loves Raymond?
Well, you raise a very pertinent issue there.
It is hard to know who enjoys tellie more,
yes.
She loves TV.
She loves TV.
But the thing she's, I would say, absolutely amazing
at is bedtime. Oh really? Yeah, and she's quite good at putting Billy down as well.
Oh, there we go. That is great stuff. No, she's really great at bedtime and actually she said to me a while
ago, don't forget how special bedtime is. And it really is, like Bill being nearly three, he gets out of the bath and he has some people,
some people call it zoomies, right?
That mad 15 minutes where he just loves his own nudity and just charges around and just
charges around the house naked, jumps on things, jumps on things, piles up all his teddies, dives on top of them, rolls around,
and then the whole business of getting his jarmies on,
as long as you're relaxed about it,
is pretty much the best game there is.
You know, it's so fun.
It's if you are chilled out rather than going,
come on.
Exactly.
I just walked downstairs and watch TV.
What time is his bedtime, Marcus?
Uh, 730.
Yeah. So basically dinner at 6 and then bath time at 7,
lids out at 7.30.
But he's nearly three still in a cot and we plan to keep him in there for another four or
five years if we can.
Yeah, I think when they get to like eight and they wander in your room at quarter past nine
and can't go to bed mum, then bedtime loses its magic. Yeah, definitely. But Rachel's so brilliant
at that kind of relaxed playful thing, whereas I do get the kind of like just put, you got,
you can't go to bed with one arm in a pajama.
You cannot.
And the truth is he could perfectly happily.
Yeah, he wouldn't care.
He wouldn't care.
Marcus has been brilliant.
Thanks so much.
And good luck with the podcast.
Thank you so much.
Oh, bless you guys.
Good luck with everything in life.
Thank you.
Thank you.
so fellas. Thank you, thank you.
Marcus Briggs Stock, I'm gonna say it, I could not travel with him.
Oh God, I'm quite, not a nerve, but I like a bit of time. I like to get
slowly and relax.
Lue, honestly, if we have a flight at 9 a.m. Lue, ideally, the idea would would would would would would would would you would would would would would would you would you would would would you would would would to to leave at 2 a.m. in the morning. I just think there's so much more to lose than gain.
Yeah, but imagine leaving your house perpetual motion. Yeah. You never stop walking and you get on a plane. Yeah. What is something goes wrong? Josh, what if it all goes right? What a feeling?
There's always other flights. There isn't always perfection. I forgot you've got that no fear poster up in your living one.
Yeah, that is too much from me, especially with a kid.
Exactly.
We'll be back on Tuesday.
Yes, I'll see you there, Josh.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. Hello, I'm Marcus Briggsstock and I'm Rachel Paris. This is How Was It For You, a Review-Based Podcast.
We're going to be asking each other, how was it for you?
It was pretty good, Rachel.
About all sorts of different things.
Things we've eaten?
Things we've seen.
Places we've been.
Things we've smelled.
People we've met sometimes.
Those will be, we'll have to talk about them whe.