Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S8 EP60: Frank Skinner

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

Joining us this episode to discuss the highs and lows of parenting (and life) is the brilliant comedian - Frank Skinner. You can get tickets for Frank's tour HERE Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you filthy street dogs... xxx If you want to get in touch with the show here's how: EMAIL: [e-mail] INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com  A 'Keep It Light Media' Production  Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Rob Beckett. Hello, I'm Josh Winnockham. Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent, which I would say can be a little tricky. So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting, each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're not coping. And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us know what we're doing.

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Get Uber one for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just 499 a month. Savings may vary, eligibility and member terms apply. Hello and welcome to Parenting Howe? With? Yeah. Do you want to do that again? Or do you want to do that? I thought that was pretty good Robbent. You know what's it? You. You. You. You're? You're? You're? the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. thi. to. to to to to to. thi. to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. te. toe. te. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. original one and see if the audience think whether I've been unfairly dealt with.

Should we ask Michael? He's sort of in the middle here. I think we should do it again, but I'm leaving that one in as well. Perfect. Okay, oh very on the feds. Worst of the feds. Worst of both worlds. It makes Robbenthwere. Yeah, exactly. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. Worse. the worst. the worst. to. to. the worst. Wor. to. to. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. go on. Hello and welcome to Parenting Hell with. Olive. Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett. And can you say Josh Whiddicken? I think that's my favorite attempt at Josh Widdicken.

I think that's my favorite attempt at Josh Widdicken. Yeah, but then, you know, people will start to forget our names. Our careers are on the wane. Show business is a fickle mistress. It's a fickle beast. You know, there's not many comedians that stay in the game 30 years and continue to be successful. Exactly. I'm like our next guest.

Oh, that's nice. Sorry. No, Rotherham. And they say, here is our two-year-old daughter, Olive, attempting to say your names. We started listening in 2021 when I was pregnant with Olive, and it really helped me hearing that we weren't the only ones not sleeping. Thank you for all the laughs, say sexy and relatable. Yeah, the sleep never really comes back. I'm just up from 6 a day now. Oh, we're having a nightmare with a nightmare with a nightmare with night with night with night with night with night with night with night with night with night with night with night with night night with night with night night with night with night with night night with night with night night night with my night night with night with night with night night with my night night with my night with night in the bed a lot now. We had a little phase of that with our six year old but she's been a few nights of her just being an own room so fingers crossed but it's a bit of, it's just a it's like a tide, it's just a

it's like a tide, in and out, in and out. Well he's currently... There's no hope of of the bed. No. Like a lake. He's on a futon on our floor because we're on holiday and he doesn't... Sounds like a disgraced uncle. And he just falls off the photon because obviously it's basically on the floor. We found him under our double bed this morning just dead center. Just fast asleep under our double bed. On just wood or carpet? On carpet? Just fast to sleep on the carpet like a cat. If he's asleep, he's asleep. I'm not getting him up. Fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. I need to do a thank you. Okay.

I'm not going to name them, but a policeman dropped into my DMs. Josh is 2024, police officer. Yeah, a police officer, who was male? Yeah, was that got to do anything? Well, nothing but, you know, just saying, so he got in touch with me. And they said that I should be able to get a crime reference number for my cloned plate, and that I'd been misled before. If anyone that's just tuned in and starting from this episode, Josh's number plate was cloned and has been used on another car that's getting speeding tickets, parking tickets and fines and Josh is having to pay them because some councils won't accept his explanation that is registration been cloned. So that happened. I had to go through his official channels because you can't get a crime reference number

through Instagram DMs. You can if you got enough money. And I've sent it to Barking Council. Oh, that's a good emailing to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to the the the the to to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoan thoan the..cooan thexxxxxxxxon.coa.coa.coa. thoan. thoooo. thoooan. thooan. to Barking Council. Oh, that's a good email. Yeah. I'm yet to get a response. So it's still pending. They're going to be the doghouse.

A few thank you to a few people. The person who sent me the... Does he send any acceptance speech? Yeah, then the DM. But this guy, thank him, because it is a crime and he told me it's not going to happen again because they did find the car, they just didn't tell me about it. Because he found it on the computer and it had been used to smash into another car. Ah, what for like insurance?

Well, neither of them wanted it reported as a crime, so you can draw your own conclusions from that Rob. You are uncloned. I am uncloned. Cheers to that. Cheers to that. Open the champagne. Let's go, Rolls. We're back in the game.

Right. I'm just to say, if you do get your number plate cloned, keep the faith. Insist on a crime reference number. Because you are due one. Yeah. You are due one. Now Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. That's the intro is it? I would say my greatest comedy hero. Growing up for me there was Frank Skinner and there was Harry Hill. They were the two people. Stuart Lee when you first started I thought I was watching a fucking tribute act. Too bloody right Rob but that was a bit later on because I saw him at university. Yeah. When I was growing up I had I I I the the the the the the the the the the the f. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. Fr. Fr. Fr. Fr. Frank the the th. S. S. Frank th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. Frank th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. I. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. tribute act. Too bloody right, Rob, but that was a bit later on because I saw him at university. Yeah.

When I was growing up, I had the Frank Skinner video live in Birmingham and I watched it so many times that the, do you remember with videotapes it would warp so that the crowd sounded like they were kind of a sea? Like it was like, yeah. Let's bring on Frank Skn, Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank Frank the greatest. Hello Frank Skinner. Hello. We are very, very happy to have you on.

Dream guest. We've been waiting a long time, Frank. I'm sorry about that. No, it's all right. The good things come to those who wait, etc. How are you? I'm splendid. Thank you very much. I'm still, you know, puttering around Biden style.

I am refusing to stand down, that is the... How old are you, Frank? Is that all right to ask? Because you can only not ask ladies. I'm 67. 67. Because you were older than David and the other kind of comedians of that ilk in the 90s. So you always had that I'm slightly older thing going on right? Yeah. I feel like even when we did Taskmaster together, Greg's constantly needling you for being old. Yeah. I think you've been carrying it around for 30 years. Well no, because I've switched the generations of comics have moved on and I'm still operational.

So the gap has widened between me and people like yourself. Then I was that slightly older guy. Now I'm like,those bodies they dug out of the bogs in Ireland. Sort of medieval rotting you can see on me but I quite like the old estatesman thing. I get like quite young comics come up to me and say oh I read your book and then I decided to be a comedian and I like that. That was one of the main reasons I became a comedian was your book. I mean that's fantastic though. I love that because comedy sort of saved my life would be extreme, but it definitely completely changed it for the better. So if anyone else has done comedy because of me, I feel it's a bit like, you know, evangelical work. That makes me very...

I think as well, though, like that, you know, say like different generations of comic, especially they look up to you, I think because of that book, that was passed around on the open-mite circuit of like, if you're starting out, that your one and Steve Martin's one were the two like, oh, if the, you, you, you, you, you, you, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, like, like, th. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like were the two like, oh if you're getting into stand-up, these are the ones that make you sort of fall in love with it. And then also as well I think where people do stand up but then you go off and do other things so like you know certain people try and do you know certain people try and do thrown or. their try to their tour. the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their they their their their their their their their their their their their their certain their their their their certain certain their certain their their their their their their their certain. their certain certain certain certain certain certain their their their their their their certain certain certain certain certain certain certain certain certain. their their their their their their thoee. thoe. thoe. thoe. thoe. thoe. trys. trys are certain certain certain certain certain trys are trys are trye. trye. tryea. tryea. try. try. try. try. try. thea. theatsea. that does other bits and whereas as comics do get older, they don't always do the work and make sure I saw your show, you're one you're touring, well I say touring, you're doing in the West End. And it's... And then I'm touring. And then you're touring. And then you're touring. It's so, you can the they. You can the the they. they. the they. there's so their so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so. there's so. there's so. there's so there's so there's so there's so there's so there's so there's so there's so there's so there's so there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much their. there's so much their. there's so much. their their their their their their their their their their they. I's so much. I's so much. the the the their their their their their their their their their the craft to stand up and you get a bus from doing it, you're not just going, not that one for a few years, earn a couple of quid and then I can go back to sit on the sofa. You can tell that there's a love for it there. That's not

forward then in all your long career you've always still had that passion. Mike Tyson said if I'm going to be able to do. I want to give it absolute massive attention and respect. Because I think if you disrespect it, it's like, you know, the bird of comedy will fly away if you're not kind. Yeah. And I think I honestly think that. I think I'll be punished by the waking up one morning and becoming one of those people who just doesn't have a joke in their soul. Yeah.... their. I. I. I. I, yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to to to to to to to to to the the the to to their their to to to to their to to their their their their their their their their their their thi, I thi, I thi, I to give th. I to give to give th. I th. I th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I want thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to thi. I want to to to to to thi. I want to thi. I thi honestly think that. I think I'll be punished by the waking up one morning and becoming one of those people who just doesn't have a joke in their soul. They do exist those people. They do, they do exist. Yeah. I met someone yesterday who said I don't like comedy. I never laugh at jokes. I don't like jokes. Oh my goodness. And she said I was introduced to you when you were five, when I was five rather,

and she said you told me a lot of like kids jokes to make me laugh and none of them worked. And I said obviously I remember that gig. As you remember every gig to go like that? It's only 20 years ago. We will get on to parenting but I want to say about one of the formative things. We are on parenting really up. It's only 20 years ago. We will get on to parenting, but I want to say about one of the formative things. You are on parenting really. It's me being the parent of a lot of youngest firing commission. And you are, yeah, sort of bad of comedy in the UK. Actually on that, have you ever had someone say to you, oh, your book is the reason I go into comedy and you've thought, oh, that's a shame. No, well, there's always, it's a double whammy because if they're brilliant,

then you feel that you've created something wonderful. And if they're rubbish, you're just satisfied at the fact there's no threat. Is that why you're so nice to Josh? Oh, it's a bit of fun, isn't it? I have to say, one of the things that show business hasn't had full respect for over the years and full recognition is show business has always been a place for the not very good. Often at the absolute top of the tree. A lot of industries, you know, they're ferreted out and removed early on, but not just comedy, but all branches of entertainment. There are people who are genuinely poor who've achieved, you know, star status. And I'm proud of that. Otherwise where would those people go?

We've all got names. We've all got names. Yeah, let's not. No, let's not. One of my formative comedy experiences was when I was 14, I got Frank Skin alive in Birmingham on VHS for Christmas. And I had no idea how blue it would be. Not your parents probably. No, and I watched it with my parents, who were very liberal, and so they were fine with it, it was it was incredibly blue to a level I I didn't

understand a lot of it and I loved that about it because your new tour is 30 years of dirt is that right? Is it still as extremely blue as it was? No. No. There's sections that are certainly but, but at that point, I was one of those blokes who never added much success with women at all until I became a celebrity. I think when handsome and beautiful people become celebrities, they're never fully appreciated. I'm saying this, I'm not saying which category I put either of you in. For me, it was honestly like I've been driving around in a cab, a black cab without the

light on, so nobody raised the hand. And suddenly my light came on, and you know, I was able to have, I believe the word is sex. And so when that joke came out, I still had to have I believe the word is sex and so when that came out I still had the zeal of the convert it was still very new and exciting and it was my large part of my you know my leisure pursuit because he didn't drink you know I stopped drinking so I had nothing else to do other than have sex really really, and write jokes. Not in that order, I should say. By the way, Josh, when I think your iPad's on a setting, it zooms in and out of your face

when you swoon, it's really weird. Because it was like, you said, like, sex. And the camera just moved into your eyes and. The camera used to go right in. They had me lined up on Parkinson to talk about my battle with the bottle and all. Oh, they love that. And he said to me, so you've had a drinking problem, didn't you, for many years? And he said, I said, no, I loved drinking. It was only, you know, the reason I drank for years is because it was brilliant.

I've never replaced it in any era of my life. The white heat of joy of drinking was fantastic. It's just the last few months that made me stop when it went a bit wrong, but mainly it was brilliant. And my agent said he was in the green room and he'd seen the camera coming really close on me. And then I'd said how brilliant the the the the to the to to to the to to the to to to the to to the to the to to the to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the told the to the the the the the the camera coming really close on me and then I'd said how brilliant alcoholism would be. Parkinson got quite angry with me, got quite sure to.

Was he a bit agging, Parkinson? He was a sort of clean cut image but I think it was quite a task master. Yeah, there was a guy on there who was the rower who isn't Steve Redgrave, Matthew Pinson. You know they have them lined up and I, he was sitting next to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th to thing thing thi thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thian thian th was the rower who isn't Steve Redgrave Matthew Pinson you know they have them lined up and I even sitting next to me and I said Matthew you must find this I was talking about I said Matthew you probably find this as a athlete and Parkinson said are you doing an interview or talking to him why is he he why do you have him out here if I can't talk to him? It was really bizarre. Can I tell you, Brian Michael Parkinson's story?

Roy Slow Talker Walker told me. It was the most used to catch him. And he said Parkinson was a bit of a player, a bit of a London Mr. Cool. And he arrived in his roles rise at the BBC one day, Roy Slow Talker, and Eric Morkham was parking his Rolls Rice at the same time. And they walked towards the lift. The lift doors open and there was Michael Parkin sitting a full length black leather overcoat and a large black leather cap, one of those 70-styled car. And Eric Morekham said, hello, Parky?

Have you come as a wallet? Ha ha ha ha ha. Before we get into parented, how did you find coming into like the world of TV in that era where, as as someone from working class background when I sort of come into TV I found it off center and overwhelming you were like 20 years before and you've got these sort of like establishment people and very middle class and a lot of nepotism and you sit there you get told what to do you sort was almost like subservient to those producers and stars how did you find that because you don't suffer fools gladly I th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So thi. So thi. So, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so th.. th. So, so their, so their, so their, so their, so their, so so their, so their, so their, so their, so their so their so their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thr-I's thrown. So, thrown, thrown, thooooooooooo. So, the. So, the. So, thooo. So, the, tho. So and stars. How did you find that? Because you don't suffer fools gladly. I think there's a fair comment to say, Frank. So how did you deal with that?

Because that must be frustrating. I love faults. I study them. That's probably great joy. But working with them is difficult. I always give advice now to anyone who's going into tell for the first time that one thing you have to learn to do is learn to be able to deal with people who know a lot less than you about comedy telling you about comedy. And I don't know if I ever quite mastered that skill but that's how you get on. The first program I did was called Do the Right Thing. Oh yeah, I remember that. It's a moral dilemmas show. I was the regular panelist with Terry Wogan as the host. And then we did a thing called gag tag which had lots of old comics versus new comics, the idea of the alternative scene

versus the mainstream. And on both of of those I was pretty good actually and then you get treated with a bit more respect. Bob Monkos was on the producer said to me sometimes if you get a really big laugh in the edit we have to remove this squeaking sound and it's the squeaking sound is Bob writing it down with a felt pain. And Bob one left his, you know his famous joke books? Bob Monty. Yeah, they got stolen didn't they?

Well he left them in the green room before that thing ever happened. So me and the producer had a look through them. They were brilliant. He'd done a fabulous cartoon for each heading. So it would say golf. And it would be a cartoon figure hitting a golf ball into the distance with a perfect perspective. And then he'd have all these, I don't know what his collar coding was, but lots of different colored pens.

And at the end initials and I found about like 20 of my gags in there were just endless next to them. Was he using them or was he just enjoying the fact like he was collecting them? Well you know he did a lot of club gigs and I think that you know I met a guy called Gordon Ashley once it was a really sweet look and he was he presented the last series of Tizwas and I met him and he said oh it's great to meet you out he said your stuff always goes really well and I thought he meant I was good but what he did it it was a different world you know really let's talk about parenting you've got one son yes how old is he he's 12 he's. I'm actually met him, didn't I?

I met you guys at the Downlow Festival with Romish. We were so drunk, I felt really bad. You know when you bump into like, what is a really lovely father-son day out and the son's still quite young and you almost seem to Toma. And so is the download festival, is he into heavy metal music? He's massively into heavy metal yeah. And are you into heavy metal music? Well I was into heavy metal when I was about 15, 16, 17 and then sort of punk happened and I got into other sorts of things but it's all come back to me now the sort of punk happened and I got into that moved into all the sorts of things but it's all come back to me now the lure of heavy metal.

Yeah. And also you get older, someone really screaming and playing a loud guitar is one of the few things that gets through the fog. I've taken to it again and discovered new bands. We were a thing called 2000 Trees a couple of weeks ago, which is another festival. We saw ACDC at Wembley. Oh wow. Yeah we got Alice Cooper and Slipknot coming up this year. I was that December the Slipknot one. Yeah that's right. It's sort of Christmas.

Yeah, it's lovely. We get the boat back from the Ote. It's sort of 23rd, 21st to December. It will feel like a Christmas experience. And so is that your kind of father-son bonding thing? It's heavy metal music? Well, it's that and Dr. Who? So he's got Dr. Who? And he said to me, do you think we could go back, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to the the the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, tho, tho, thooooooooo, th th th th th thoooooooooooooooooooan, th th th th. Who and he said to me, do you think we could go back not to the very beginning of Dr. Who but the beginning of revival 2005 and watch every episode and that for me I've been in a hotel room and that woman saying I'm not going to say it, something that you really like.

What I'm saying is it's always better when it's their idea. What are you like as a dad, Frank? Because I can't call it, do you know what I mean, having met you? It was a bit like, I know when this podcast first started it was about home schooling and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah. I went into home schooling. I thought this is going to be so good I will be like Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society and I'll be really inspirational. And day one I was saying to him, eight and eight what is it supposed about that? And I've got that. I've got a bit of irritability

in me. So, because you find, you're obviously incredibly bright. You're like fast in terms of wit, but also you are interested in so many things. You've got a huge kind of hinterland, should they say, and like, you know, as you said, in TV, you're dealing with people possibly who aren't as, you know, you know, as, you, you're, you know, you know, you know, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've thi, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've thi, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've hinterland, should they say? And like, you know, as you said in TV, you're dealing with people possibly who aren't as, you know, good as you, do you find then with a child difficult to kind of deal with the fact that they don't understand poetry and classical music? Opera? No, I don't. It's not that. I mean, it's very, very unusual for me to have a person in my life who I don't mind being funnier than me. Mind. Is that the first time that's ever happened? Yeah, so I can be genuinely, if he says something funny, I can be genuinely pleased, almost

not quite as if I said it myself. Yes. The sort of selflessness. And you didn't have that with David Bediel? I don't remember him ever making me laugh. That's not true. Can I wait that? He phones me on my heartiest things, you know. If I say anything like that, clearly light-hearted, he'll find me open. So, yeah, I heard about that thing you said. Oh, really? Yeah. I was speaking to once he was going on about a critic that wrote so about him in like 1999. This was like last year. He still remembers it. He keeps me on a pretty tight leash as far. I think of these as like body jokes you know but he text them as personal slight so I have to keep them at a minimum. Okay all right

and is he is he funny then like is there a because obviously you pride funny as a big thing yes the biggest the biggest the biggest the only the only even when he was very very young was a strange, I've never worked out whether this was accidental or whether it was some sort of deep subliminal stand-up comedy already manifesting in him. But he had his eyes tested at school. So he made an eye chart of his own and I had to be tested on it. And he made basic errors like all the letters were the same size and things like that. Yeah. It was at the time when he didn't say A, B, C, he said, A, B, C. So I had to read it like that. So we went through, he'd written the letters. And I got to this letter and I thought. th. th. th. th. th. the the the heed. heed. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. the he. he. the the the he. he. I got to this letter and I thought oh I can't quite work I said is that ah and he said no I said is it eh and he said no and I thought oh I'm

struggling maybe he's put a short stick and I said is it duh he said I give up he said it's a balloon but I remember thinking there was no agreement they would all be letters you know what I mean it it actually works well the thu it the the the th the the the the th th the th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the letters the the the letters the letters the letters the letters the letters the letters th th th th the the the th the the the th the the the th th th the th th th the the the the th the the the the the the the the th th th the th th the letters th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the took the letters theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the the the the was no agreement they would all be letters. You know what I mean? It actually works well as a actual joke. Yeah. But I don't know whether it was a balloon that he put in as a prank. Like there was a crime, there's a street near me and there's one of those with two poles sticking up that you have to drive through, which is always stressful. And I went to and I slightly toucest one of the poles and I thought it's only like be on the black bumper.

And then when I parked my car, I went in the house and boss said, have you seen the side of your car on it? And I was really like, I'd had the car about three days and I was got it actually had to sit down I was so upset he got me about two minutes and then explain that was a sticker that he got out the beano he'd dashed out put on he'd been waiting for a moment exactly yeah that's been buzzing in the back of the car that's a good thing he was hiding once under a blanket in his bedroom on the floor I was going to to to to to to to to the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to to go I th th to go I was going I was going to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to th the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. the th. th. I was the th. I was th. I was the the the the the the the the the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thing. He was hiding once under a blanket in his bedroom on the floor. I was going to go up and then summer happened and I went up about 10 minutes later and he jumped out and went boo. He's tiny and he was red and covered in sweat and he stayed under that blanket not wanting to spoil the joke.

And I thought that blanket not wanting to spoil the joke. And I thought, that's my boy. The eyes writing for comedy, which is the name of my new slimming video. Is that a Middlesbrough mug? Yeah. Who? Probably? I did a gig in Middlesbrough. You know when you do a gig sometimes and you get like a little... Oh, yeah. Local local themed gifts. Middlesbure it was a Middlesbrough mug and a Middlesbrough Penn and I think some Middlesbrough rock. Oh really? Popular with Middlesbrough tourists. Yeah. I didn't know they were famous for their rock, Middleborough. I don't know. I don't know if they are. I've been to the beach in in Middlesbrough. Is there one? There's a river? Because they play at the Riverside Stadium. Didn't, was it Janineo or someone got thrown around London?

Rather than Middlesbrough, Brian Robson never took him there. He just showed him around London and their sign. It feels like an urban myth. Well, I've seen Corancaank the, you the, you the, you their, you th th thu thu thu, you thu, you thu, you thu, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, thu, thu, thu, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, the, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, thra, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, thra, thra, thu, thu. thu. thu. thu, thu, thra, thu, thu. thin, thean, thin, thean, thean, they're, they're, they're thriean, they're thriean, thriean, thrived thrived thanca was their manager, the Spanish guy. I was on a train with him going up to like to Newcastle and then you changed I think from Newcastle to Middlesbrough and then I was on the train with him the whole way, him and his wife. It was a bit awkward because obviously I don't imagine his wife wanted to Madrid for Middlesbrough. It's not normally that's not normally the route, the route, the route, the route, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, th. th. thu, thu, thuu, that's not normally, thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown, thrown, thrown, thr, thr, thullain, thullain, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th th th th th th th th th th th th thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown, thrown thrown, that thrown, thrown, thin, thrown, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th we got into Middlesbrough, her fate and no offense to Middlesbrough but it's a jump from Madrid. As it pulled into Middlesbrough Station, the look she gave him of this is our life is it for four years? Yeah. It felt a real moment in time of just watching this couple the realization. Like the wife of someone sleeding the mafia. Yeah, yeah.

This is it now. How did it feel taking your son to the download and backstage and things like that? Because you're slightly older dad and then you sort of think like your kids younger and all different trends and stuff coming. Luckily you was into that heavy metal and stuff but it must be pretty cool to be to be able to take him backstage at download where all all all bands are, the Queens of the Stone Age were there and Royal Blood and you're right in it and having access to the bands. It must feel pretty cool as a dad. It's brilliant.

It also though, I find myself saying to him, you know my dad didn't introduce me to major bands and stuff like that. I need th, I. I. I. I. I th, I. I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I've th, I've thus th thus th thus thus thus thus thus thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus in thus, thus, thus, thus, to to to thus, thus, thus, the, the, the, thus, thus, thus, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus, you was thus, you was the the the the the the the that that, the that, the the the that, the that bands and stuff like that. I need him to know that it's special. Yeah. I've introduced him now to so many, you know, I've got photos of him with Judas Priest and Bruce Dickinson and stuff. And I love to be able to give him that gift, but I think if things went wrong on the career front and I ran out of money, I don't know how he'd be now, just being in row W at Amosmith Apollo, you know, it wasn't a problem

my dad had, but it was the only celebrity things we had in our, any connection at all. On our mirror in the living room, there was a sign photo of Noel Gordon you know that was Star-A-crossroads yes. By Helen Bonham Carter my mumboats in her open a supermarket and a pound note signed by Ginger Baker from Cream because my dad worked at Land Rover and he was buying a Land Rover or receiving one. And in those days people used to get like a pair of notes signed. Wow. It's a working class bravado.

So it is brilliant to be able to do that, but I'm probably setting up a precedent which he's going to at one point find I can't keep up. Well I think you're probably the first parent we've spoken to on here in terms of the journey from your childhood to their childhood. You're the first one we spoke to out an outside toilet. Yeah. To be fair, all the toilets are outside even backstage at download. It was a full circle moment. That is true. There was a thing with my the the the the the the that that the that th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, thoomoomoomoom, thoom, thoom, thi. thi. thoom, thoom, thoom, tho- tho- tho-in. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, th. I, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the. I'm the. I'm theeea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thue. It was a thing with my dad that the council came round and said we're going to, they modernised our council house. They said we're going to put you a toilet inside the house.

And he said, that doesn't sound very hygienic. That's true in a way, isn't it? That's a heavy drink of the potential of potential of having an indoor toilet. It's wrong that could go. I think your childhood is so different from your sons. Do you worry about that kind of, like, obviously you say your career disappearing, but on the other side of it, do you worry that there's this situation where it's like, God, he's got everything just there for him?

Because I know I do worry that about my kids. Yeah, but you know, I talk to people who go on and on about sending their kids a state school, and the state school they're sending them to has got a catchment area of half a mile, in which every house house th th th th th th th th th th th th house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house thous house thous house th th th th tho th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tha. tha. to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to to to to their their to the state school they're sending them to has got a catchment area of half a mile in which every house is worth five and a half million. I remember a bloke said to me once, you know, if you send your son to a private school, you need to never try and defend it because it's indefensible. And I said, well, the difference is, you know, I want my kid to have a bit more than I did and you want your kid to have a bit less.

I didn't know that well. I do want him. I wasn't on an airplane until I was 33, you know. I never, yeah. The only people I know, my brother-in-law had been abroad during national service. I didn't know anyone who'd been to a holiday abroad or stuff like that. Well obviously I don't want him to have that. That would be insane. And also I think the one thing when I was living in a dirty old bed seat and Birmingham, more living in a council house with my family. One thing that would have got me most of all is rich people pretending they aren't rich.

If you know what I know. Yeah. You know if you've bed a few Bob and you've done okay then, you know, come out with it. Don't say, well, you know, I don't have as much as, oh, sure are all. Because like, I always think, you know when you get someone like, probably picking a name out, but someone like Bill Gates or Richard Branson they go, I'm going to give my children no money so they their money th. th. th. th. th. their money th. th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thin, thin, thin, th th thin, thin, thin' thin' is th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th th th th th th th. I th th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin, thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is that that that that that that that that that to that that that that that that that that that that that that my children no money, so they have to do it themselves. Yeah. I just think that is causing more problems than it's solving. Yeah. By a million miles, surely to God. I think the famous one was the woman who owned the body shop.

An eat erotic? Yeah, she said she wouldn't give her children any money. It all go to charity. God. I like thaaaa tha tha tha to to to tha to tha tha tha tha tha, I like tha, I like tha, I tha, I tha, I thi, I thi, I thi, I tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm thi, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm, I'm, I'm tho-a, I'm tho-a, I'm thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tha, tha, tha, tha, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. I'm thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I th money, it would all go to charity. You know, I like keeping it in the family. I mean he has much better problems than I have. It's basically no matter how much privilege or money you have, everyone has problems but slightly less intense problems. Yeah, Frank, when you were growing up, I don't know if I read this in a but did you have to scream in the garden to scream? Yeah, I didn't have to. You said, did you have to scream?

No, I, when I was on my way to the outside toilet, one night, and then of course you're released from the house and you're a little kid and you're in the freedom of the dark garden, so I walk the the the the the th th the th th th to to to to to to to to their their to their their th. their their three. three. three. to tooom. tooom. tooomereeauauauauauauauauauauauk. tooomorrow tooke. tolde. tolde. tooes. tooes. You're tooes. You're to say, you're to say, you're to say, I was to say, I was... didn't have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have to say. I. I. So. You're tooke. You're tooke. So. So, tooke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, freedom of the dark garden. So I walked to the top of the garden. Council houses around there have got pretty big gardens. I walked to the top of the garden and I really felt the urge to scream. So I'm right, literally outspread my arms and really screamed at the sky, you know, about seven or eight times and it felt great. So I started on a regular basis saying, you know, I'm just going to the toilet and then going up the garden and screaming. And then one night Mr. Young next door was letting his dog out for its last night business, and he heard me screaming and told my parents and I got banned but I

loved it I can't tell you how great it felt because I used to scream into a pillow to release because obviously it was too small you couldn't do it we had a little garden and other people here so it was a way to do it but I sort of felt like my kids and then if you feel like this with your son it's like how do you feel if you saw him screaming like that and was that scream because there was obviously a cause for that scream was that sort of an inbuilt thing in your genetics or the situation you were in at the time that forced you in led to it? I had that most unpopular of celebrity things, a happy childhood. Yeah. The scream, I don't know quite what the scream was, but I didn't, it wasn't like inner anguish.

No. There's a theory I think called the primal scream, which used to be a therapy. Yeah, John Lennon did it. Yeah, and just absolutely do that. I don't know what you're releasing exactly. I'd be worried if he was screaming at the top of the garden. Exactly. If he was doing it the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the the the the the thi. I thi wan thi wan, I thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thioling thi. I was the the thiol. I was thoing, I was thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the pring, I the pr pring, I the pr pring, I the pr pr pring, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I thi. I thi. I thin, thoooooooooooooooooooomomome. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th top of the garden. Exactly, but even though he was in if he came back when oh that was great you'd like fucking hell. Yeah do you need to have a word? He's loving it but he's screaming. Yeah it's quite possible that he would have been influenced by Rob Holford from Judas Priest. Yeah it might just be a

heavy metal thing that he's doing. What I used to do it was for nice, it felt good it was almost like getting then some energy out or you didn't have any way to put that energy. Do you know what? I think you could do with it a bit more now, Rob? Just as there's times I'm meeting. I still have to do it now and again. Do you? But then when I'm not doing off holiday and I've not worked too much if I'm not doing stuff it I have got a lot of energy to get out. Who's that guy screaming in the toilet radio too? Jeremy Vine. What again? Do you Frank have, does your son have any kind

of interest in your career? Obviously the euros came round and everyone's saying it's coming home. Are you, is that impressing him stuff like that? Is he come to see your stand-up? Certainly in 2018 that was the first time he showed any interest in football and at that point we went to number one, people were singing it in the street, it's coming home memes were everywhere. And that was brilliant because otherwise it would have been an old man's story. Yeah. And he might not have believed it, but he actually witnessed, you know, we were at games where people sang it in the euros after that. So that was brilliant. When Cath was pregnant, Cath is my partner. And I had my photo took by this guy,

and I was obsessed with what being a parent would do to my career and stuff like that, you know. You know that Cyril Connolly quote, the most somber enemy of art is the pram in the hallway. Yeah, that worried me a bit. And I said to this guy, do you do less less the less the less the less to tod less to to tod less to to tod less to to tod to tod to to tod tha to tod today to today to today to today to to to do too today today, today, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, took. took. took. took. took. too. too. too. too. too. too. tooe. to to to to to me tho. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. today. today. today. today. too too too tooea. toooooooooooooooooea. tooea. tooeauuuuua. tooea. t hallway. Yeah. That worried me a bit. And I said to this guy, do you do less work? Because he's quite a top photographer. I said, do you do less work since you've had kids?

He said, now I'd do more work because I want them to see it, so I'll be their hero. Oh God. But I think if he'd come along in the white heat of my career when I was doing like five series a year and stuff like that, like you've got where you are now say, I think he'd have seen a lot less of me. I think he's better off having me as a slightly bitter oldthe month who he just sees once a month. Yeah. Yeah. Well I think that's a fair point though because we've had to really, well I speak for myself, I've had to make like conscious decisions to manage that and to turn down stuff that you think well actually if I didn't have kids I definitely would have taken that and that might have sent my career in this path, but but it's that balance of the the of of their of of their th of th of th of their thi of thiii th. their th. th. thi. thi. their th. I thi. I's a thi. I's a the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I's the. the. I'm the. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I. I's th. I's th. I's a th. I's a th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th path but it's that balance of doing less because you don't want to be the

guy who's just there you know and actually ironically that doing this podcast has enabled me and Josh to do that a bit more because you can record it from home and it gives you a bit of flex but yeah definitely I think that is a consideration of liketheir body on top of just the fact that you're busier, you know? I think for me as well, you know, timing, as they always say, is very important in this business. All my courting years, all the years when I was dating them, was a time when men paid for every meal, they got the women were like princesses. And then when you sort of married married their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to their their their their their their their me me their me their me their me as well their me as well their me their me their me their me their me me their me me their me me their me me their me their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the.. I, tie. I was, tiea. I was, tiea. I was. I was. I was. I was tiea. I was tiea. I was their their their their the driving, they paid for every meal, they got the women were like princesses. And then when you sort of married them and had children, you think, well,

my work is now done. You would come in from the factory, get your newspaper out, and all the child care would be done by your wife. And that was the deal. But what I did, because of bad timing, I was in that period where I paid for everything and did all all the their their their their thi. And their thi. And they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have their thi. to have they they they they they were they they were they they were told. And then, told. And then, and told. And then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, their their. And their, their, their their their their, their their their their their their their thee. And, the. the. thea. thea. theateateathea. they were they were they were theathea. And then, that, that, that, that, thatea. And then, timing, I was in that period where I paid for everything and did all the driving. And then just as I got to have children, it had changed some men out to the loads of child care and stuff as well. So I got the worst of both work. And I've always been slightly bitter about that. Imagine just coming in with the newspaper and put the feet up and there's

like screaming kids and it's not your problem. Ment, like that 70s, early 80s set up, like, but they're still, around my way, there's still a lot of people where it's like that, if they've got like a hard graph job, they'd come home and they're like, but I've done me work, hours of voiceover. I'm going to put my feet up and get a paper out. Exactly. I mean, I know people in the media who still live like that, bloke. I think it still happens a lot. I've got a mate who come around the house and say, oh, you're not watching Man City versus Everton. And I said, no, I can only watch West Brom games live

on the tele, I can't watch casual neutral games like that. I have to buy these moments and he couldn't believe it and so there's still blokes like that around you know they've got the deal. I've got a system for that though Frank because all I want to do is watch a football weekend I'll make sure that I'll like get up early walk the dog the dog on a the dog on a the dog on a the dog the dog the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I I'm. I'm. I'm te. I'm te. I'm tea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.eI. I'll. I'll. I'll. tea. I'll. I'll. I'm te. I'm the the the the the though Frank because all I want to do is watch the football weekend I'll make sure that I'll like get up early walk the dog like on a Saturday then I'll say do the kids like if they've got football or whatever I'll take them to football then out for a bit of food to try and get in just for the half 12 kickoff yeah and then there's a slight switch over where loo the thirty and then then then then the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the tho-soe' tho-soe the the tho-soe' tho-soe the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the their the the the the the thea' thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe then I'll nip in again between about 2 and 530 to take them somewhere else for a few hours and then get back in time for the 530.

This is why you are so angry are the boring teams in the Premier League because they are your leisure time. I always think why is Rob so angry that Bournemouth are in the premier league. It's because you've bought that time for yourself and now it's born with the Fulham. I know, that is frustrated. If it's a shit game, you've done all that in the morning. You've livid. I've sort of eradicated leisure time, which to the way I've done it. So I basically work or spend time with the family. That's where I am.

I don't have individual me leisure time anymore. No, if I do, it's like an extended break where like I'll go somewhere for a thing so like I went to Berlin for the football and like a sort of 24 hours thing it has to be a sort of a live event a really relaxing experience that one a really nice bit of a legend time no but it'll be like a boxing event or a football match or something like that that I'm never just meeting mates in the pub for a drink anymore that's got well I the one's on we we we we the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I'm the. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that is that is that is that the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the Well I took Buzz to the final of the Euros at Wembley, you know, the ones when we lost to Italy. Yeah. When we arrived, we were dropped at the VIP entrance, you know, and I got, just as we was getting out of car, Mel C was getting out at the same time. So there was me Buzz and Mel Cee walking along this thing towards totality totality totality towarotality towar towar towar towar towar towar towar towar toware the toware the toware the toware, towar, the towar, too too too-a. the too too too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, too. Yeah, too. Yeah, too. Yeah, too. Yeah, too. Yeah, the too. Yeah, th. Yeah, the, the, the, the, they. the. the. today, today, today, today, today, today, too'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n'n't th thing towards totality when suddenly the wall literally caved in and

all these blocs like we know shirts on and England tattoos and stuff just kick the wall in. And it was a terrible moment which we all fear I think when the masses cross the velvet rope. I thought this is how Marianneux must have been when the French Revolution started. It was terrifying. These blocs just literally kicked a wall down and then broke into Wembley. Oh my God. I'd say a perfect end to the Frank Skinner story would be dying with England at the Euro's final with one of the Spice Girls. It would tie it up nicely. 30 years of dirt Frank to return to that at the end.. When. When. When, to to the to the the to the to the the the the to to the the the th th the th th to the th. When th. When to th. When to to to to to to to to to th. When the when to to be the when to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thrushe, thrushe, thrushe, thrushe, the Frank Skinner Story would be dying with England at the Euro's final with one of the Spice Girls. It would tie it up nicely. 30 years of dirt Frank to return to that at the end. Do you know the dates of it off the top of your head? You probably do. I've done so much publicity.

I do know the dates. I'm at the Giel Good Theatre in Shafsbury Avenue from the 5th to the 24th of August. So really August, most comics are in Edinburgh, I'm in the West. Oh, that's the dream, isn't it? And then after that, I just go around the country again. What's that like when you're every night working in the West End? Like, is that quite a weird kind of... It's not like you're in Edinburgh where it's like the whole things. You're living your normal life and then you just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I'ss you're living your normal life and then you just I suppose go out to work at 6 p.m. or whatever does that is it quite a weird way to live or? It is because one of the things I really like about touring is being away. Whatever anyone says if your partner says like you know my partner is going away for the. It's hard to stop that tingle of excitement at the idea of just being on your own for four or five days is great.

I've said before I would tour without the geeks. Yeah. I just like being in like mail company in a car on a motorway at 3 a.m. and all that and staying in hotels, seeing strange towns, you know, second and bookshops in Shropshire. I've changed. I like the whole process of it, whereas you don't get that when you did the West End. I did the Garrick Theatre for five weeks just before COVID,

and I walked in, and it was about an hour and two minutes to walk in. And I thought that was like a way of making it a sort of positive thing. Yeah. I like to be on first name terms with the stage door person. Yeah, yeah. Because you know in the old days, Austria would have been doing summer seasons and stuff like that when you're up for ages. But the residency has sort of faded a bit now. Mole Hearn still does it in Butlins. It's one of the last few where he still goes there

and does weekends where they sell the whole weekend off his name. Fantastic. So it's the only way to see him you can't sort of go in for like the Friday. You'd have to be there for the whole weekend and on one night it does a show. He's brilliant, but yeah, it's a brilliant. But a brilliant. But it's a brilliant. But it's a th. But it's a th. But it's a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. th. th. th. the. the. the the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. th brochures at theatres to see what else is on. I like to watch it. I love getting livid at the price as well. He's fucking shit. He's double me. Yeah, I know that. They must be livid when they leave.

What I'm more livid about is when I'm charging 28 quid a ticket. And then in the programtheatre fee and stuff like that. The theatre levy? Yeah, all that. Yeah, all that. What? I've not put a fucking mortgage levy on my ticket on top of the price. We've fucking, sought your fucking theatre out with the money that's going through the door. Don't add more. So I can be either, I could either be Mr. Nice guy, which is my natural thing, is don't charge too much and be outraged that it's been added on. So if I say 28 quid and someone's paying 37, that seems wrong

to me. Or if I wanted to be a complete arsoll, I could think, well, hold on, we're on a split here. Where's my split of your extra 9 quid that you're? I don't get any of that. I saw it's a brilliant the split the split the split the split the split the split split split th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to be to toe. told. thi. toe. toe. to me. to me. to be to be to be thi. toe. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So. A. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, th. So, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thr. And, th. And, to. And, to. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, to. And, to. I. I'm. And, th. I'm. And, th. And, th. The show's brilliant. I saw it when you was in London on your last run. You was a bit unwell on the day, but he didn't notice it, but you referenced it a little bit. It's horrible when you're not feeling well, but I don't know if you remember that one, you're not thrown. It'll be worth doing it again just to not do it with flu. Yeah. I don't know how many letters there are of influenza, but actually in the end we had to get a doctoring because I really thought I might die. I felt so terrible. Oh really? Well, it's still brilliant show.

Would you like to die on stage like Tommy Cooper? That would have been my ideal way to go, but since I've had a kid and stuff, I don't think I want to die in the wings anymore. I family. Oh, do you know what? Sometimes you think what would be the perfect end to the podcast? And then you knew it was drawing to close, we set you up, you finished it in a lovely manner, Frank. We do have to final question, Josh, which we should ask Frank. Fike that off then, you know, we can't be a better round. It'll tell you one thing by the way, and I the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, thi, thin, thi, to to to to to to to to to to be, to be, to be, to be, to be. to be. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to be. to be. to be. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. tooo. too. too. too. thing, by the way, and I was going to ask you guys about this for advice, but probably too late now.

I thought that the early difficult teenager thing started at about 15, and it started at about 12. Yes. Right. I'm struggling with that because he was a sort of oasis of light and warmth in the house when I needed to flee from my partner and now I just feel that he's on the bench to replace her. He's not in a sufficiently bad mood.

He can be called on to bolster the midfield a bit. You all found that. I was too young, but people have, I'd say it starts, now it starts at secondary school, doesn't it? I don't know why that is because it should be, it's chemical isn't it, rather than cultural. But everyone says it's before teenage, the teenage thing. Was Kevin and Perry, it was when he turned 13 wasn't it, was to change over? Yeah.

Some people would be quoted child psychologists. When comedians get together and dis-osterionist, I agree with you though, Frank. I think that being funny and humor is the most important thing because it's the only thing that's always helpful in every situation I find. If you can make light of it, it will be helpful. If you're really good at maths, if something's gone wrong and you go quick chat about Pythagoras. It doesn't, that is good for that but not in every situation so I think using Kevin and Perry as an example. I mean I'll go and

watch them again. No but what I would say is I'm dreading it because and I wonder whether this is a comedian thing because I'm I'm incredibly needy as a person in in the... we all are. Yeah exactly and I and I and I that that that that that that that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. thi thi th. I'm thi thi thi thi thi th. I'm th. I'm incredibly needy as a person in the... We all are, dear. Yeah, exactly. And I know that I'm going to really struggle with justifying to myself, it's fine, this will pass. I know I'm going to struggle to deal with that. But do you what it's like, I've been telling myself for years that I've found this whole new brand of pure love for my child and it's much less

complicated than loving a partner, you know, a girlfriend because there's all lots of messy stuff around that. This just felt straightforward love and now he's having similar moods as I say to my partner and it's a bit like the deterioration of a relationship. So I really wasn't expected that. And then by the time you sort of go, okay, well let's pick up the pieces. This is what he is now because he's a teenager, not a little boy. But then he'll change again and become a man. Yeah.

And then it's another shift. But you know, he could be saying to me, I'm really into do a Leaper where you take me to a gig, you know, one of her gigs. Yeah. And then, you know, can we sit down and watch changing rooms? Sorry, is he a Nan from 1997? I've got to doctor who and heavy metal. Changing, Frank. I say, no, no, we've got to go back to that. Cary, the kids are such a fan of changing rooms. The man of love I've given you, Frank, was saying how like over your long career

you're still managing connect with a younger audience. But that reference points needs changing. You can't keep using changing rooms. I don't even know what changing rooms. I stopped being on tele for 30 years. I had a Biden moment, can I have to discuss something out of the ether? If my child was into changing rooms I've been incredibly worried that they, A, managed to find it on YouTube and B. I'd say turn that off and go and scream in the garden. Don't ever tell anyone you're in changing rooms as a general rule.

Pardon, sorry. Carol Smiley, by the way, was my, you know when you get Rear of the Year, they have a male one and a female one? She was my Co-Rear of the Year Award. Yeah, I do. Now Frank, I've never noticed your ass. Was it good at that point or is it is it still good? What kind of ass you're dealing with? It's broken free of its moorings in life? But it used to be like a clench fist certainly. Wow, okay fair enough. Yeah. What year was that?

That was 99 I think. Oh wow. Is there a physical award? I tell you will not believe it's one of the best actual awards. I've ever heard. It. It. It. It. It. What it. It. What it. What it. What it? It's like, it. What, it? th. What, it? What, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th. What, th. th, th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. It's broken, th. th. th. It's broken, th. It's broken, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, it's broken, it's broken, it's broken, th. It's broken, th. It's broken, th. It's broken, th. It's broken, th. It's broken, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's broken, th. It's broken, th. It's broken, th. It's broken, th. thi. the thi. the thi. the the the thee. thrown, the thrown, thrown, thi. It's broken, thrown, th. It award? I tell you that you will not believe it's one of the best actual awards I've ever heard. It's like, you know the women's singles thing that play. Women's singles at Wimbledon. It's like that. It's an enormous self of trade. I'm just seeing the press photos. You must have seen these. You are what looks like in a park with Carol Smiley. And I should add, you've got a great ass in this photo, right? Thank you very much. You've also got the longest pants I've ever seen, like, sight cichord. They were worried about me, because I arrived in briefs.

And they were worried about my VPL. So they gave me like long jump. This is absolutely fucking insane right. You look like a flasher in a part. Carol Smiley's in head-to-toe leather red. Yeah. And you've got these giant pantaloons. Are you trousers around your ankles? Carol said no, basically to the long johns. It's absolutely insane. I was working for two as they say. And you know what, they're not wrong though, your ass looks great. Looks like it's been CGIed. It used to be. It used to be great. It's massive. Rock hard ass. I never knew. Never knew. How did you feel when they contacted

you about rare of the year? About time? Two years years too late. Yeah, it was it a surprise or had it been on the cards. But they've been whispered. They offered me the year before and I couldn't turn up on the date they offered me, so they gave it to Richard Fairbrass. So I saw him in the paper and I'm just thinking, you weren't first choice. Why first smile on your face. I was. th. th. th. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. th. choice, white first smile on your face. I was happy to receive it. I mean it was quite a thing. I think Graham Norton won it in 99. Did he? No, Robbie Williams and Denise Vanouten.

Maybe I was 2000. No, you were 98. And then 99 was Robbie Williams, Denise van out. That's a strong ear as well. Have a look at his ass when you get a chance. It's outrageous. A absolutely tha tha th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was, I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thi. I was thi. I'm thi. thin. thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm th. thin, I'm thin, I'm th. thin, I'm th. I'm his ass when you get a chance it's outrageous absolutely outrageous I don't think it exists anymore does it rear of the year bring it back it feels like it might not be appropriate anymore also imagine that though in the offices of the journalist I'm sorry I'm late home I had a busy fucking day we're trying to look at arseys all day I've been looking at arses all day. Could they believe they're lost when they realize that Rhea and Yea ride? You're owning the awards maker immediately. It's so perfect. Oh

final question Josh said we should go. You go for it Rob. We ask everyone this, your partner Katth what is the thing she does parenting wise where you go oh my god she's wonderful this is amazing and what's the thing parenting wise that she does that annoy you. if she were to hear th you th th th th you you you you you you you you you you you you you the you to hear the to hear the to hear the to hear the to hear the the to hear the the the the th th th th th th th th. You that the thathe that th. You th. You're th. You're th. You thi ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha- thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You th. You th. You th. You th. You the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. You thi. You're the. You're the. I theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theee. the. the. she's wonderful, this is amazing. And what's the thing parenting wise that she does that annoy you? If she were to hear you talking about it, she goes, okay, yeah, fair enough, he's got a point here. I'll go with the bad one, so I've got more time to think of a good one. Sure. Yeah, I'd recommend that that that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation that explanation Yeah but you know it's the scream thing you just get it out. Get it out it's right you just got to get it

out. The thing that I get annoyed with is that she enters into arguments and has done this since he was about six as if she was arguing with me so she will go into passive aggression long sulks and I said you can't play it like this with a kid, you know what I mean? It's yeah. So sometimes they're not speaking. And I said this is just inside. We can't have it. My style of arguing, like my dad used to have massive rows with my mom. And I'm not making this up. It sounds like a joke. He would have a massive row. And then he would end with a song so they would have a blazing row that lasted 20 minutes and at the end he would

this song he always used to sing if I had my life to live over again I would still fall in love with you after they've been tearing the crap out of each other for 20 minutes. Oh wow I think that's a mistake. If the the th. If their their their their their th. If th. If th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi the. the thi thi the. the. the the the th. to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they would would would the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. to the. the. they the. they would would the. they would the. the. the. the. th've been tearing the crap out of each other for 20 minutes. So I think that's a mistake. Was it be at the peak of the argument that he just burst into song? Literally the argument would end so we're going to bed now let's end with a song. He wouldn't play an instrument, he'd sing it a cappella. She would sit down, he wouldn't let her go to bed. She would sit scouring, but she had to stay scoured to stay scoured to bed she would sit scouring but she had to stay until the third verse. The best thing that she does is she's quite I find that Boz turns to her if

he's got any personal issues and he's going to her room at like 3 a.m. and they'll have a big heart to heart so I think he sees I'm the doctor who heavy metal guy and she's the counselling kindness guy. Yeah. Are you happy with those? Oh God, yeah. I mean if those jobs are off the grabs, which one would go for? To be honest, I fainthear.

I'm going to counseller. I'd rather have the problem. But, for this has been absolutely amazing. Thanks so much. Good luck with the West End Run and then the rest of the tour. It's brilliant show. 30 years of dirt. Absolutely top stand up at the top of his game still after 30 years.

So well done, Frank, Frank, it's brilliant show. And I'll try and come again. Yeah, I'm going to come. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. I can't wait. to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the. to. to. to. to. to. tour. tour. tour. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. th Frank. Cheers. I love to love. Cheers. Frank Skinner. Oh, I could listen to him forever. He's so good, he's mind. I know this sounds mad. I just love where his ass goes. I love where his ass goes after those photos.

I can't wait to see that photo. Oh, mate, he's so. to go on our Instagram as soon as this episode comes out. That's the image we're leading with. Frank Skidder is in a park just on a path with Carol Smiley who's in head-to-toe leather red cat suit and he's got his trousers around his ankles with the length white, bright white pantaloons and his rock-hard ass in the air. It's not even a banter win. He's actually got a good a good ass. Do you think if rear of of the their their their their their their their their their their he of he of he of he of he of he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he to he's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their is their their their their their. He's. He's their their their to. to. tow. their toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to to to to to year is still going? I think Ramesh or you could. No, Ramesh would get it for a joke because he actually has no eyes. He's like medically got no ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he does the stuff on having no ass.

Joel Dommet would be all over rear of the year. Yeah, I'd love to see Joel Dommet. It'll be Joel D. Joel and Davina, lovely. Well, maybe we should start handing them out, Rob, at the end of every year on Parenting Howe, we're going to hand out our Rears of the Year. I'm a modern guy. I'm pretty woke, but if someone's got a good ass, let them know. Is that the way we should do it? Or don't. Whatever's the right thing to say. What a great outro. Frank Skinner, thank you one of Britain's greatest comedians. We will be back on Tuesday. See you on Tuesday.