Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe - S8 EP9: "Would you prefer to make love to me or Romesh?"
Episode Date: February 6, 2024More misadventures in parenting, life, and beyond... with Rob and Josh. Parenting Hell is a Spotify Podcast, available free everywhere every Tuesday and Friday. Please leave a rating and review you ...filthy street dogs... xx If you want to get in touch with the show with any correspondence, kids intro audio clips, small business shout outs, and more.... here's how: EMAIL: Hello@lockdownparenting.co.uk INSTAGRAM: @parentinghell Join the mailing list to be first to hear about live show dates and tickets, Parenting Hell merch and any other exciting news... MAILING LIST: parentinghellpodcast.mailchimpsites.com A 'Keep It Light Media' Production Sales, advertising, and general enquiries: hello@keepitlightmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
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Hello, I'm Rob Beckett.
And I'm Josh Winnockham.
Welcome to Parenting Hell, the show in which Josh and I discuss what it's really like to be a parent,
which I would say can be a little tricky.
So, to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting,
each week we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're coping. Or hopefully how they're they're tha be hearing from you the listener with your tips, advice and of course, tales
of parenting woe. Because let's be honest, there are plenty of times when none of us
know what we're doing.
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Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with.
Can I can't be Rob Beckett.
Rob Beckett.
Robbucket. Josh Wodekin. Josh Whittakum. Again, mommy. Well done. Thank you.
Ah.
But that took me too long to realize what was happening.
Yeah, that is good.
I was like, there's something wrong here.
Yeah. But the daughter was leading the mom.
I loved it. I liked it.
Do you know what? To be able to play with the form,
there's still more in it. I think it's impressive that we're still aware of the form.
Exactly.
Hi Rob, Josh and Michael.
This is my three-year-old daughter Nancy introducing the podcast with me dutifully following instructions.
We're currently awaiting the arrival of Baby Number 3 who is hopefully arriving any day now.
My friend Claire introduced me to your podcast in lockdown.
I've been obsessed ever since. Claire has also been telling telling telling telling the last two years, so I'm hoping this keeps her quiet for a while at least.
Fuck you, Claire.
I like that, Josh.
Pice to this morning.
Fuck you, Claire.
Your mate's got enough on enough on her, to the today.
She's pregnant. She's got two kids and you've been didn't want to. Yeah, she's got enough on her fucking plate, Claire. Yeah.
Thanks to the last and looking forward you keeping me on to day
and during maternity leave.
Again, Felicity and Bogner Regis.
I've not been to Bogna.
It's one of those places where it's kind of got a funny name,
which does it no favors, right?
Yeah, it's by the coast as to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the coast, the coast, to be to be the to be to be the to be to be the to buffet. You're gonna be put off even if the food's great? Yeah. You must go
that it's amazing food. We do need to address Rob. What's that? That your voice is bad and
people can't see this at home but you look. Do I look bad? I thought I felt a bit better. Oh man. I've took a photo. If you were that current celebrity and you were photographed out and about,
there'd be a daily male sidebar about.
Oh God, it sort of, it would be like,
Rob Beckett breaks their silence when they just sort of repose something on Instagram.
Well, that frail and pale.
Yeah, no, so I've had to cancel
some gigs actually so this is Monday morning I'm supposed to be doing Sudbury
tonight but I've had to reschedule it because my vote voice is fucked and
I've got a sore throat. You don't like that Sudbury theater is tight and you
don't want to give a hundred and ten people people illness and you
don't want to give 110 people. You don't want to give people illness and you don't want to give a shit show. Yeah, so people in Sudbury are supposed to be with you tonight,
but I'm well enough to sit in my house and do a podcast but I'm not well enough to give you a good show.
So I'm really sorry if it's fucked up your babysitting and stuff like that, but I will reschedule
it and it will be a better show better and it and it and it and it and it and it and it and it and it and it to be a better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better better show show show show show show show show show show show show show to be a better show to be a better show to be a better show. And to be a better show. And it. And it. And it. And it. And it. And it's to be a better. And it's to be a better. to be a better. to be a better show because I won't be ill. So sorry to the people of Sudbury. Plus, you're working through material, Rob.
So they've got it, they've bought their tickets
an early stage in the development.
When it's re-scheduled, it's actually gonna be a better show anyway
because you've done more work,
you'd hope. Well, I'd argue that at the moment, even if I'm well that that's that don't work. So what you don't want is new jokes
from an ill man. That's like I can promise you.
Think about the text I sent last week to Rob that we read out.
Yeah, that's what you have probably looked at. So people of Sudbury, I'm sorry.
Hopefully in the next couple of weeks, we're sort there should be a date. But when you hear this, there should be a date and I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the their their their th. And I th. And I their th. And I th. And I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thoe. toooooooooooooooooooo. too. too. too. too. too. the. thoooooooo of, there should be a date, but when you hear this,
there should be a date and I'll put it in my Instagram,
so sorry about that, but I'm gonna power through
with the podcast.
Lou woke me up, I know I'm ill, Josh,
has been nice to me.
Yeah, man.
She's been really nice to me. Did you, was you, is your throat hurt? This morning, yeah, it's killing. It's one of the ones where you swallow and you know, you got like,
uh, yeah.
And she was, yeah, because you were snoring so much.
I really felt sorry for you.
And then there was an owl that kept up,
and then there was an owl,
we've got them little like,
an owl popped up to eat you?
Well, to have a look to see if it was like a dead mouse,
winging or something, I don't know, but um,
and then Lou was like, oh yeah, I was really worried about you.
And then she popped in, so I've been up since 4.30,
which felt more like a dig that I've been loud.
Oh, here we go. I'm gonna I'm gonna put a shift in with the podcast so very much like Michael Jordan in the championship playoffs in 96 where he played with
well if you need to talk less I've got some stuff to go through
you start you might have to carry this one Josh and I'll nod and take the
piss we went to Cabo this weekend Rob oh the um are they're like they're like cabin cabins for middle class people oh the the the the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the their their their their their their their their their they they they. their their they. their like like like like like like like like like like like they're like like they're like like they're they're like class people? No, they're not, they're like wooden cabins for middle class people.
Right, in Kent, where in Kent? Where in Kent are you?
Near, near somewhere.
We're half an hour from Folkestone. Half an hour from Folkston.
We went to Fokston, Rose's friend in Folkestone. Right, nice. I like Folkestone? I don't know. I've been to Fokston
a few times and nice, nice little theatre as well actually. But yeah, oh no, so,
Cabby by the sea. Oh, it's sort of near, in between Dungeoness and Folkty near Port Lymph where the animals are,
yeah. Yeah, it's lovely that little bit. Dungeoness it. It's a classic isn't it? My father-in-law goes from fishes down there.
Does he?
Oh, that's nice.
I told you this story though once we told me sometimes
don't even get the rods out.
He just goes and sits there.
I think there's a power plant near there or very nice time. Lovely. Yeah. There was no real. Just the children just went on the
beach in January. All right. And we didn't really see them. What do you mean you didn't see them at?
But they just like we, Rose's friend lives down there. She took that with her two kids.
And the how they just played paired up and then we just kind of stood around. Up mate if you get the right family. We've, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've just, we've just, we've got th. Just, we've just just th. Just, just just th. Just, just just just just just just just just th. Just, just just just just just, just, just, we've just, we've just, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th, we've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the their, just just just just just just just just the. Just, we've just just just the her two kids and the how they just played paired up and then you just
kind of stood around. Oh mate if you get the right family yeah we've got we've
got friends and they got two daughters about the same age as our two
daughters you do not is it gets to the point where the end you actually feel
disappointed at the end of the weekend because you haven't seen your kids it's mad it's mad isn't the the their the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's is yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they. they. they. they. they. they. the the they. the the they. the the they. the the the the the the right, yeah. That's lovely. Maybe that kept him going. Yeah.
Kept him on the move.
They were fucking glowing, man.
Difficult to get him to sleep.
Oh, the color they got on that beach on a January morning.
Quick quiz, Rob.
Yeah, go on.
Sleep in arrangements.
Do you have a double bed. We've got, have you bought it? No. We've got a double bed.
We've got two bedrooms, double bed,
a movable cot and bunks.
Right, okay, so I'd say double bed is Rose and at least one child,
probably two, and then you in the bunk on your own?
No, not quite, not quite.
My son in the cot.
Oh, that's good.
Because he's yet to not sleep in a cot.
So whenever we go away, we've got to get him a proper bed.
He's massive.
I know, but it's because we're having our rooms done.
Oh yeah, you said, yeah. So wants a cabin bed, so we've got
to get this cabin bed to move the bed.
So she wants to sleep high up with space underneath to play?
Yeah, and it's like you can get one where it's like a bed that also transforms into
a desk or whatever.
Yeah, I don't know.
The transform a bed, yeah.
So where did she sleep in the cabin? She wanted to go top bunk. Obviously because she's going to get a cabin bed. Yeah, but the side on it was she didn't like the side
on it. She thought she was going to fall out. So she went bottom bunk and then
she said I'll be scared in the room on my own because I don't know it. So you're top bunk? I was top that's like the weakest position in prison in prison in a to be. I I I I I I I I I I I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was a the prison. I was a the the the the their. I was their. I was their. I was to be a to be a to be a to be a to be to be to their their their to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was the the the the the the th. I was th. I was the. I was toda' toda' toda' today's today's today's toe. I was toe' the' the' the. kick you out of bed then attack you. Because in prison you want to be on bottom bunk. Do you? Yeah, because
you're less vulnerable. I thought you wanted to be on top bunk because then if anyone comes
at you can just kick them from the top. You've got the, got the... No, but if you don't trust the someone underneath you, they could just kick you out the bed the bed the bed, th...... the the th. their, th. th. th. their, th. th. th. their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to be, to be, thin, to be, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, to, because, to, because, to. Yeah, because, because, to. Yeah, because, because, because, because, because, because, to be. Yeah, because, because, to be. So, because, because, th. So, th. So, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. to. to. to. Yeah, prison Rob? Oh not well. Anyway your top but well this is dangerous though she wants a cabin
bed and she's a bit wary on the you're gonna have to make sure she tests out
this cabin bed because we've got bunk beds for my youngest. Yeah we've got
to take her to test out the cabin bed. Yeah so mine doesn't like being on the top bunk. Doesn't she? No but it's fine so she just sleeps on bottom bunk. Yeah yeah but
but on the tab in bed. So he was top bunk of a child's bed? Yeah I was top bunk of a child's bed.
I think you're gettingto sleep on her own.
So Rose's in the double.
Because she's in a unfamiliar place.
Yeah, Rose in the double with a cot.
Yeah.
And then top bunk.
Right.
How many nights, one night, two nights?
Two nights?
So did you do two nights at the top bunk?
Yeah. Was there a conversation don't think you can. What do you mean? I think you, I just think you've got to take the hit on that.
It's gentlemanly.
See, I'm a feminist.
Get up there, love.
Equal.
Equal.
Not like, madame.
My leader.
My equal.
My equal.
Up the fucking bunk you go. Let's get equal So as a feminist, I just couldn't do that
No, whereas I'm a Victorian gentleman
Yeah, exactly of course I put my umbrella down a climb up the top
You better wear your big coat to shoulder from the water exactly right so you've done two
Was it adult size? Um, the duvee wasn't long enough.
Oh, for you.
No, well, you know I put it over my head.
Right, but no duvets long enough for you really.
No, I know.
That's, that makes me sound really cool.
You should bring out extra long duvet's for like, sort of people like,
sort of people like that are pared.
Exactly. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that, I tho tho that that that that that that that that that tho that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo that then tall people that are quite relaxed. Exactly. I wonder what Stephen Merchants got. I should text him and say, what duvee
you got? Do it? Do it? No, I think you could do that. Well, maybe you text
Stephen Merchant and say, genuine question, I'm not taking the pierce. Do you buy an extra
long doveys from the duvetter. Because I need a longer one because I like to sleep sound man. That sounds like you're on McIntyre, Centaur All. It's a cross between McIntyre Centaur and McIntyre's thing where he comes into your
bedroom. Rob, I'd be furious. Do you know they, they try to do that. My agent asked Lou, saying, we're
thinking about doing this to Rob, how'd you, because I have to ask, obviously get permission from someone in the house. Or is a burglary. Yeah. Yeah. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, the, their, th. Yeah, th. My, my, th. My, my, th. My, my, to, to to, to, to to, to, to, to, to to to to, to to to to to to to their, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to, their, their, their, their, their. It, their. It, their. It, their. It, their. It, their. It, their. It, their. It, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, their, they. It's, they. It's, too, too, too, too, too, to. It's, to. It's, to. It's, their, this to Rob how did you because I have to ask obviously get permission from someone in the house or it's a burglary yeah and said to Lou how and Lou said absolutely not
Rob will Rob sleeps naked he will jump up and he will attack his nature so why did she say absolutely
not? You know what? If I jumped out of bed if I jumped out of bed but start bullet naked and chinned
Mackentire and loomed over
him as the cameraman had to take me off and it was on tell that pixelated my arson knob.
It would be the greatest bit of TV of all time, wouldn't it?
And then they clean up the blood from his face.
You put on some pants and you have to go through this quiz and he's crying. David Siemens out the back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back. to to to to to to to to to the back. to the to the to the to be the the to be to go through this quiz and he's crying. David Siemens out the back going, should I go in yet or not? Is the blood, is the blood been white from Macintyars nose?
These comedy gloves are big but they've got blood on from the fete and you're still fucking
seething. Look at their food line there, full face of makeup, air done. Got a new pajamas, sat there with a cup of coffee looking, not been asleep all night.
I'm actually doing it to me when I was going through my really bad insomnia and panic
attack face.
Oh my gosh, we're going to cut there. Josh has shit himself and covered his head
with a duvet. Let's give him a couple of hours. I'd have to have a heads up because I'd be petrified. We're obsessed. My kids are absolutely obsessed with Gladiators. I put
Gladiators on after my singer. Oh my god it's so good.
Eliminator and my daughter went fucking ballistic for how good it was.
I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it as a kid. I'm I want to go to of it. No, and it's so nice well because I've remembered how much I loved it as a kid.
But I'm, I want to go to watch it.
You didn't do celebrity, oh I thought you can do celebrity.
Yeah, I'm not going to do celebrities.
They should do celebrity. They should do it. They should do it.
They're not going to do it. I can't do it. Imagine that me, Joel me, I stood up, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't, I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I, I, I, I don't. I, I, I, I, I, I, I didn't, I didn't. I, I didn't, I didn't. I didn't, I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho, I tho, I tho, I tha, I tha, I tha. Don't. Don't know. Don't. Don't. I tha. I th travelator like a turkey at
the shop.
How did you do on the travelator?
I tell you I did.
I didn't get it up to better bit at the start the eliminator where you have to climb.
You know that hang tough, you know hang tough when they have to swim.
I can't even just hang.
I'm not going a minute on that. I couldn't get to the red, never mind a gladiator.
Oh, it's great.
The only one I think I'll be quite good at is the one when you barge past people.
Yeah, yeah, you'd be good at that.
Yeah, but that's not really a skill is it.
Yeah, right. You employed it on what the week quite a few times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. times. thi. to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thea. thea. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. toda. how I might have to do up to Sheffield.
That's good.
We've got to get Bradley and Barney Walsh on.
You've got to get Bradley and Barney Walsh on.
Well so I was texting one of my mates from one of the school dads and he was, um,
he was texting about the boxing that was boxing that going mental for gladiators. He went, he went, he went, same in my house, he went, his wife was at the cinema with their eldest,
and he went, yeah.
We do love it, but I think it's a bit far.
She's texted me saying, don't watch it without me.
Wait for me to be home.
It's like, I was like, it's not like,
I've got to keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep to keep to keep watch it twice. I used to do when I was a kid.
Fucking hell it's good.
I can't wait.
Can't wait.
Can I tell you about something that happened at my kid's school this week?
Yeah, yeah.
So they've had to do speeches.
The primary school are all doing speeches.
I think they're doing like speeches about,
about something they care doing like speeches about something, it takes two minutes long, about something they care about like. And then they all do it in their class,
and then the class votes are who,
they're like best, and then I think
there's a school around the corner,
they're gonna go head to head,
so they'll be like, oh myick, it's stupid. Thank God you said dog. Oh no no.
No my dog. So you know people talk about my youngest daughter she is thick, she is stupid.
No, the dogs. So you know people talk about their dogs now oh he's so much character, there's so much fan. I've realized, but the old, Fred, the oldest dog, he's like is is is is, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, th, th. thi, thi, is like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi,, oh he's so much character, there's so much fun. I've realized, the oldie, Fred, the oldest dog, he's like a sort of German office worker.
He's so efficient and does every, he like, he'll never get muddy.
He just goes out, chases a couple of squirrels, comes back as some food goes to sleep. He doesn't like, he doesn't fall over, he doesn't fall over, he's, he. to, he. to, he. He. He. He. He. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he. He's, he's, he. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's, he's, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, oh what's mine? You know like dogs in films and cartoons? Like, oh what's he? He's just like, he's so chilled. And that, the other one, he's loving
chilled as well, but just thick. So he just runs into the door every day, just runs into
the door. It'll like tread on stuff, it'll fall over. You chuck a blanket, Fred will just like bite it off, Fred will just like, he'll just, thr. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi. He's th. He's thi's th. He's th. He's thi. He's thi. He's th. He's the other. He's the other. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the other. He's the other. He's the other. He's the other. He's the other. He's the other. He's th. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi's thi's thoooooooooooo's th. He's th. He's th. He's thee. He's the other thi. He's th. He's the other. He, move it off him and then lay on it. The other one, George, it'll be under it for about an hour. But like it's just happened. Maybe, Rob. It's not that George's thick. It's that
George's normal dog level and you've got a really clever dog. Well yeah, but he's never, he's, he's
never put, he doesn't do anything wrong for it. Like, not wrong, but he's just like, if a puddle, some dogs are just running it and you're like, oh what's he? He's just a voice of it but the youngest one and I think he's thick. The dog walker said,
and we know it quite well and we don't take offense to this kind of stuff, but she said
George is the thickest dog she's ever walked.
Which I quite like, because he might as well. It's not like he's the dog. the dog th th th th he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's th is he's th is th is th is th. Because th is th. Because thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi thi. thi's thi's thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. And we th. And we th. And we th. And we th. And we th. And we th. And we thi. And thi. thi. And thi. thi. thi thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo get on. Do you know like it's not like he's got to try and hold down a job but yeah you're not like,
what are we going to do with him because he's he's dense. If you drop a bit of food
yeah and then wiggle your hand it won't it won't look down and is he a thick breed? Wippets are quite, they're both whip it's so whipts are quite like. they're quite quite. they're quite. they're quite. they're quite. they're quite. they're quite. they're quite they're quite. they're quite. they're quite. they're quite they're quite they're quite quite they're quite they're quite they're they're they're they're not. they're they're they're they. they're they're not. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're. they're not. they're not. they're not. th. th. I. th. thi. t try. try. try. th. thi. thi. they're not they're not. they're not. they're not.ets are quite like, they're not super intelligent, but they're clever enough you can train them to do what you need
to do. So they're not a thick, you couldn't do much more with them. They're not
super intelligent, but they're not like properly thick, but he's just, he's got,
there's nothing, you look at it, he's constantly surprised by everything. My eldest daughter did her little speech about dogs and then the six-year-old came home and we was like, oh what did everyone else do their speeches on?
So she did one about visiting a sloth some did about going swimming, some did holidays, some did
pets.
And she said that this girl, I can't remember the girl's name, she went, yeah she did her speech.
Yeah, she did her speech on her to watch that speed. What a legend.
What at six? I love kids like that at that age.
Imagine just walking and go, yeah, so I've got three super cool boyfriends.
That's what it was so funny.
The way she said it was what was doing, holidays, the swimming club, their pets,
and so-and-so did there's on her three super-called boyfriends. And did your daughter think that was something to remark on her?
But she's just thinking that was quite a normal thing.
Just very normal, like as if, yeah, that's of course,
she's got three super-cour boyfriend.
I think at that age, they sort of talk about any sort of boys that. They're like, you know, cousins, th of but yes maybe our three super cool that is cool that is good yeah I had something
happened to me Rob that I thought I'd be interesting your take on it yes
please okay so I I've been acute no no that acute no no
start you're an accuser no three that actually is bad. What is? The abuse of the word
accused because there's no negative here, etc. All right. Three people in the last month
have told me they think I have ADHD. Classic, classic. Yeah, everyone tells me that, but
I can't bother to find out. Yeah, that's how I fit. Yeah, I've got the tension for it. I can't bother too long too long too long too long too long too long too too too too too to do to do the the to do the to the to the the to tha. the tha. tha. tha. tha. to be to be to be to be a to be a too-a. thi. th. C. C. C. C. C. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. I. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. I'm. I'm got the tension for it. I got bothered too long to do the form. I went to the osteopath and he was like.
That's not a good place for any of the ADHD diagnosis.
He's got ADHD.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, and he's obsessed with the fact,
I've got ADHD.
Right.
And he always, I was like, oh God he keeps going on about, oh I've
got ADHD, I don't know, I don't really care.
And then went to the bank to pay in the check that I needed to pay in.
All right, sorry, when was this, 1973?
Check?
Check.
It was a check.
It was a VAT rebate.
Just what annoys me about the government. Theythey are up your ass for a bank transfer.
They owe you money, here's the check, fuck off.
Stick it in account, mate, you know where it comes from.
I have to do it every Jan.
Here's your check, fuck off.
Anyway, I haven't made a checking for a fucking ever.
So I get to the bank, forgotten my cards obviously because I've got Apple pay so I can't pay my checking. Oh you need your cards.
Yeah, but I just do Apple pay so I've forgotten my cards.
It's meant so you can pay for unlimited amounts of money for a certain product on a phone,
but when you're getting about a 200 tax rebate you've got to take a check in.
Exactly, yeah.
And then I got, I actually phoned my agent. I was annoying about the cards the cards the cards the cards the cards the cards the cards the cards the cards the on the, I actually found my agent. I was like, this is this, I've annoying about the cards,
but I haven't got ADHD, got on the tube.
So why don't you run your agent about guys?
No, I was ringing out right something else.
I was like, you're poor agent.
Oh God, nightmare.
Never guess what?
Yeah. from the office. Got on the tube Rob. Went the wrong way. By this point I'm thinking,
do you know what? He said I've got ADHD, I've left, I've forgotten my cards. I've got on the
tube and gone the wrong way. Do I have ADHD? And then I thought do I, should I give a
fuck? And I wanted to ask you because you leave all your crumbs,
you know, Lou says it's like bread crumbs, isn't it?
Yeah, so every cupboard will be,
she can walk around the house and know what I've done from,
I will start one job and when I'm in the middle of doing that,
so I'll go and take the bins out, I'll have all the bins pulled out, and then I'll get the bags out, time up and walk out, and I've not sorted out or put new bin bags in, and then I'll go out
and put the bins out, and then when I'm there, I'll go, oh, I need to sort that thing out
in the garage, and then about an hour later, Lou will come down staunnels and all the house and I'm like rearranging the garage and doing lots of different things
like that.
But here's something I do that people say is a real classic of it.
A, I will just drift off during saying something to someone and not finish my sentence.
Yeah.
So I'll be speaking to Rose and I'll go, the thing is, and and I'll just won't finish the sentence because my
mind's wandered.
Yeah.
And the other one...
I stop listening to people.
Yeah, I will jump in on what someone's saying if I think I know what they're going
to say, because I think it's boring to get to the question.
Yeah, I do that a bit as well.
It's bad, isn't it? So they they they they's, so they's, so they's, could you, if you were saying to me, could you take
the check to the bank, you'd say, could you take the check? And I go, check to the bank,
I'm on it.
And it, because I can't, I can't, I can't bear to wait to wait to the end of the sense. Well care it's just a label thing isn't right I feel like everyone's got ADHD in
our industry especially well they say comedians are really bad for it don't
yeah but I think that's because it this is a lifestyle that suits that
yeah totally a million things at once and there's lots of distraction and you don't like being in an office environment if you've got a boss because you? Yes, because you don't like having a boss because a boss will though do this like this
and this is the system the way we work here and then I'll be like, yeah but I cannot work like
that. I'm going to have to do my own thing. Yeah, exactly. I can't fill in forms. I was saying this to write. I was saying. If I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was saying th. I was saying th. I was saying th. I was saying th. I was saying. I was saying. I was saying. I was saying. I was saying. th. I was saying. I was saying. I was saying. th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was saying th. I was saying. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I don't. I don't. I don't do th. I don't do th. I don't do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. I'm. Do th. I. Do th. I. I. Do th. I. Do th. I. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. filling that passport form I'd feel like I was on a come down after
going to Ibita for the whole summer. But if they said go and do an hour a stand
up I'll be fine I'll crack up with that. I'll go stand in front of strangers for
an hour. But if I'm staring at that passport for the next nine years I'll be like
fucking how I can't deal with this. Well I think well I think I think it's having a negative impact on your life and
job and family I've got a passport for the next nine years exactly you'll be
fine but yeah so I think sometimes some people like having a label on
something and some people might need medication for it as well especially if
it's because it's like anything there's different extremes to it like
like you've got asthma but most of the time it doesn't really affect you but they they're not a to the the the the the the the the they. they. they. th so so so so so so so. th so. th. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's not. I's not. I's not. It's thi. It's that's that's thi. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. There's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. th. th. th. It's not. th. th. th. that's th. that's th. that's that's th. that's th. that's that's that's that's th. It's that's th. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's thi. It's thi. It's the the the thi. It's the thi that. So if it's not affecting you, don't worry about it, I'd say. Yeah, yeah, that's
what I'm doing. I think as well, yeah, I've created a life and a job where if I have got
a day actually it doesn't impact me too much. No, couldn't give a fuck. But yeah, when I worked in office it was awful, I was just a terrible. I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a terrible, I was a to just, I was a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm, I'm th. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. that, I'm that's, I'm that's that's that's that's that's th just, I was a terrible employer, I used to just wander off and go and do gigs and I'd go, if I got a gig off a good one, I'll go to the office, I just go to my boss,
I'm not going to be in tomorrow, I've got a gig on an audition, she'd say, can't I book it off on holiday and she'd go, well no, it's the day before and the day, it's not, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'd th. I's the to go, I'll th. I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I's I's I's I's I's I's I's I's I's I's the the o'...... I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'll just, I'll go, I'll go, I'll just go, I'll just go, I'll go, I'll just go, I'll just go, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll, I'll, I'll, I much anyway. I can't imagine there's only a lot made. I'd spend most of the day not working so if anything I'll probably do as much not here as here. And then I went, yeah,
so I can have it if I was holiday tomorrow, she's like, no, well I'm not going to be here.
So we can either put it down as a holiday or I'll just have a warning when I get back. Because it's quite hard to get sacked. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to to the to to to their. their. their. to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. I'll. I'll. I'll their I'll their. I'll their. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll their. I'll. I'll. I'll. I I I I. I I I. I. I. I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the their their the their the their the the tode. I'll probably. I'll probably. the the the. the the the the the they. I'll probably. I'll administrator, so I'd answer the phone to people and say,
we need to book a hotel for 200 people in Copenhagen with a meeting room for this days,
that day, and I take all the information, and then I have to ring the hotels and get three
different prices.
I can't imagine a job you'd be worse at.
Yeah, that was a... How much for a chuck of orange juice for the day? Eight pound, all right. Can you do five pound? No.
We could do seven pound. Okay.
Much of the hotel rooms? 250. Okay, will you take two hundred? No.
225? Yes. But we were both on both sides. It was just too like people doing
people who didn't care. So it might as we'd up and go, should we just do the 225 thing?
We'll eventually get at and then this is off,
it's like we can save half an hour and there's a call.
And then you'd have to put it all in the system and then you go to the person.
Okay client, here's what they said the price was going to 225. So we'd have to get them to send us a lie in rate.
I need you to tell me a rate you'd never be able to sell the room out.
And then I need to offer you a price you'll never let the room out out.
And then what we'll do is just put the price that it is and has been for the last year. But I need to show that I've to show I've to s saved to s saved to save I've to save I've to save I've I've I've I've I've to show the the the that I've that I've the that I've that I've s saved I've s saving I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved that I've saved that I've saved that I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved that I've saved that I've saved that I've saved that I've to save I've to save I've to save I've to save I've to save I've the the to save I've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the same I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved I've saved th thav. the. the. the the. the. the. the. to to to to to to the the to the the to to to per room. A good email in would be when have you been criminally out of your
depth in your job? Oh so the worst one this is the so I did I was once in
charge of I don't have a venture this for I was for some reason in charge of a
investigate it was for doctors an event in where's the capital of Pakistan?
Lahore.
Lahore.
And at this event, there was 50% Pakistani doctors, 50% Indian doctors.
Can I just say, yeah.
I'm so, I did that, and I was trying to listen to your story, but I was just in my head
going, I can't believe I fucking got that.
That was so good.
Maybe you should have done the event then.
That's all that's my knowledge is over. Right. So I was arranging the travel of all the people from India to fly from India to Lahore to go to this meeting for three days right. I didn't really
understand mail merge. I did the mail merge. Basically loads of important people from India didn't get their flight tickets. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I was. I. Yeah. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I people from India didn't get their flight tickets. Oh no. Oh no. And I was like, I sent them, I sent them. I was, I remember I was in this
meeting room with this bloke, it was like trying to sort it out. And they were screaming,
and I was just so red. I was only like, I was only like, I was only like, I didn't the company had to sort it all out and pay them back some money and then rearrange it all and it was like that I should I don't think
I should have been in that position no it doesn't feel like that that should
have fallen on your shoulders yeah but it did and then anyway a few months
later it's quite that at the office sorting out me draws found the flight tickets. When I felt I felt like I just shut it the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their th. the th. th. I their th. thou. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the their their their their is is is is. their is. It was was was was was was. It was. It was. It was. It's was. It's was. It's was. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's t. It's t. It's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. It's. I's. I's. I. It's. It's. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. I's. It's. I. Ithe flight tickets. When I felt like I found a head severed hand in my drawer, I just looked, I was like,
I just, I just shut it and just sort of stared at the wall for a bit.
Oh, and then I said to my mate who I got a more of, I went, do you want to go to the pub?
She went, yeah, all right, we're one.
She went, to one that didn't have a open fire. And I went, no, not that one.
What about the one was the open fire?
Yeah, all right, no worries.
I went, so we got there, and then I was like,
she went, why are the open fire?
I need to burn the tickets.
I can't get in trouble for that, can't I? Oh, no, because that was an error. It that. It that. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, that was awful. I feel like I'm worried now. People from that job are going to come back to me. I can't get trouble for that. I can't I? No, because that was an error. It wasn't like you stole
the money. I also emailed one of the clients at a posh company, like one of them. I don't know where it was, but it was like a, you know, sort of like Price Waterhouse, House. their. thapapapapapapapapapapapapap – th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that that was, that was, that was, that was, because, that was, that was, that was, because, because that was, because that was, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, th. That. That. That. That. That's sort. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, like, that was, because, because, that was like, because, that was like, like, I had a mate called Tim and we were all messing about on emails to me and my
mates and basically I said I'll fuck off Tim you silly stupid CUNT
said it to a client. Oh no. I felt like my face is gonna explode red you know like
the one who eats the violet sweeten Willie. Oh God. She big and purple, it was all big and red.
And then I emailed him, I'm so, I went to Tim, Tim, I am so sorry, that was meant for a friend
called Tim, not for you, I'm, I feel awful.
I'm so sorry. And the bit he just replied laugh and went, no worries, mate.
Luckily but.
Oh, I have that. I had a similar, if I told you about the snunking, send send send send send send send send send send send send send send send send send um... What one? I've told you Snunky Time. Oh yeah, about your friend, yeah, he said,
Snunk, cool. I told you when I was in Devon, it was like the summer of a uni and I had a friend
who also who was from my school but he also went to my uni and he was flying somewhere from Bristol
airport and he phoned me in a panic and he was like I've got to Bristol
Airport and I'm got my passport I don't know what to do could you do me a huge
favor and drive my passport up to Bristol airport for me.
Where was he's from? Devon, where we live,
so hour and a half. Yeah. Otherwise I'm gonna miss my flight. And I was like, I can't.
I couldn't. It wasn't like, I can't, but I'm really sorry, I really feel for you. I know
you've been looking forward to this holiday, you know, as a mate, I could only apologize,
maybe we could do something while you're stuck here.
Yeah, that's nice.
It's all right.
Yeah, he hangs up.
I text my friend from Union and go, the funniest thing in the world has just happened.
But he's forgot his passport and he can't go on holiday.
And then I sent it to him by mistake. That's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. I'm. t. t. t. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t on holiday. And then I sent it to him by mistake. That's, oh no, how did you recover from that?
I, do you remember when your Nokia would do that thing where it was sending it?
It was like, like a little conveyor belt.
Yeah. And I was like, and you're pressing canceling, you know it's too late. Oh. And then for the, just the, like, like there it was, the, their their their their, their, like, like, their, their, like, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the, the. the, to. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. there was a god, it just went message not sent.
No, really?
It was the greatest moment of my life.
I've never in my life.
How did that happen?
Just because the, you're in Devon, so the coverage is quite bad.
So it's patchy.
Yeah, oh my God.
Oh, yeah.
But now it knows he thought was hilarious. He doesn't listen. No.
I've grown apart.
We've grown apart.
Anything else?
Oh, I tell you what I did the other day last week.
I had a corporate gig last week, right?
Oh yeah.
Doing some stand up after some awards.
Oh yeah.
And it was out in a Windsor way.
And we got friends that live in Asco. You know normally, you the hotel, the hotel, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We's, th. We're, th. We're thi. We're thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the th live in Asca. So, you know, you get like the hotel room.
Normally, normally you get dropped off in the hotel room, get changed and go and do the gig and then you get driving home.
I just took the kids and we had a weekend in Windsor.
Oh, that's nice.
I was laying in bed at 8 o'clock watching gladiators. And I was, I do not want to go want to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do the the the to go and do to go and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do and do the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do the the to go and do the to go and do the the the to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do to go and do the the the went out and did the gig, it was all good, come back.
And then I was, we had two double beds in this room and I was sleeping in, um, with my
eldest daughter who had eaten jammy dodgers on my side of the bed then rolled over onto
her side and went asleep.
It was like sleeping in a fucking cat litter tray.
I was livid.
I've gone out working for this family.
And I'm a fucking pound note so that we can have a life.
And yeah, so that was quite a good fun.
But they've got obsessed with me.
I've been reading Charlie in the chocolate factory of them
and they're obsessive of like my impression of Augustus Gloucester.
But they keep making me doing it all the time. But like, if I'm trying to get them to do something, they're like, we'll only do that, we've got to leave.
It's like, we'll only do that if you do the Augustus group.
So now I'm like, having to be like, come, Augusta, come here now, my belly is full of
chocolate.
But it works.
Do you think anyone's like, is that Rob Beckett?
And then they see you talking to that?
Oh no, it's just some German bloke.
Just some dirty German bloke. Someone stopped me in the street and asked if I was Hugh Dennis.
Really? You'll take that at his six foot.
Do you think I take that?
Oh, he's 62.
He's 20 years my senior.
You're just Googling his age.
Rob's face lights up as he Googles you, Dennis.
61. Yeah, I'm 60. He is 21 years older than you, Josh, but he looks great. He does look good for it, doesn't he? He looks unbelievable for that age.
Lovely ma'am. Really nice guy, actually. Yeah, he looks great. He runs 10K every day, he said to me.
Did he? Yeah. Have you ever spoken to his son after Mott the week? I think we spoke like like like like like like like like like like like like nice. It th I th I th th he I was the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the he he he's the he's the the he's th. He's thi. He's he's he's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He. He. He. He. He. He. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thi. He's thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to he to to to to to to me. Did he? Yeah. Have you have you ever spoken to his son after Mott the Week? I think we spoke I was one of the most confident boy in the world. Yeah, sorry,
I'm sorry. I've just been on the tellain he made me feel like a little nervous new boy.
Oh, good one there, Rob. Sorry, you're 15? Massive shoulders, six foot two. We should get you on this. So their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. their, tho. th. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, the most. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. get Hugh on this so that we could ask him about his confident son.
How do you get your son so confident?
He's got two kids.
There we go.
John Dennis, Hugh Dennis, his brother.
It's so funny.
He looks so much like Hugh Dennis.
It's like a hall of mirrors.
He was the British ambassador to Angola. Fuck it, hell is from good stuff, isn't he should stop talk to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the th. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. thoo. thoooo. thooo. thooo. too. tho. to shouldn't, we should stop talk about you, but he's, he's done that thing where he's got together
with the partner from the thing he does.
Are you trying to say you want a gay relationship with me?
Look, all I'm saying is, you know,
give it time to get together. To be a gay couple to talk about parenting. I think we might lose a few listeners
that have got like the Union Jack in their profile.
Do you think that would be good or bad for listenership?
I think it would certainly spike.
I'd say it would see a huge spike.
However, I think that our relatibility may wane.
Because I'm not saying anything wrong with me and you falling in love. But I think people would be annoyed that we'd, I think, I'll be honest with you,
there'd be a good, there'd be, the money would really be in the Rose and Lou podcast.
I mean that I think we're talking about spikes, they're flying.
They're fucking flying around the stadium.
Really, really tapping to the men I shit crowd.
I absolutely destroying it.
Yeah, you know, I love you Josh, but I'm quite, I'm happy to marry.
And if I did, if Lou did leave me, I would say you're very much a Leicester to win the league
5,000 to one shot of being my next partner.
Would you prefer to make love to me or Romesh?
Oh, that's that's a difficult question isn't it? That is.
I mean, I'd say maybe you because I only see you on Zoom.
With Romish I will have to be near him, like I'm physically nearing more. Do you know what I feel like, yeah, zooms is a bit. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiol-I's th. th. thi. thoom-I. thoom-I's thoom-I's thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd to-I's to-I's to-I's to-I's toeeeea'erer. I'm toeea'er. I'm toeeeea'er. I'd toe. I'd to to tho. I'd to be near him, like I'm physically nearing more. Do you know what I mean? I feel like, yeah, yeah.
Zoom's is a bit of a barrier there, like if we have done it, we're like, well me and the
Romish nearly have to be fairing what we've worn on that show.
Yeah, I was just thinking like with Alex Brooker, it's not big foot is he? Well let's see. Let's see. Let's let's
nature take its course and find out. Yeah, well I'll tell you what is going to
happen on Friday, Bob. I've got a story that has moved on since the Jason Bell
interview. So okay in a kind of backwards way in the intro to Jason Bell I will be revealing something that then comes up in the Jason Bell interview. Oh it's like the the to to to to to to to to to to to to be. to to to be. thio. thio. thio. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi the thi thi the the thi the the the thi thi. Well the thi. Well thi. Well thi. Well thi. Well thi. Well thi. Well thi. Well the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Well. Well. Well. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the is the is the. that's the. that's the. the. the. the. the. the. the is the is thi interview. Oh, it's like inception. It's like inception.
I love all the layers to this podcast.
Exactly.
Did you have anything else to fill us in on,
should we do a bit of correspondence or small business?
I've got a new coat.
Brilliant, okay.
Talked me to me through the new coat.
It's got a it's a bit of a statement coat, Rob. Right. Have you got a picture of it? Well, let's say it's got nice comments of everyone.
But I thought I'd admit this to you. Yeah. I thought you'd say the piss.
Okay. So when we did the gig together. Yeah. I was walking to the venue. Yeah. I was walking to the venue. I tho. I was walking to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. th. th. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. It's. the. It's. the. It's. It's. It's. th. It's. It's. th. It's. that? Isn't that pathetic? But that's because I thought of me than you.
No, it's not.
It's like Steve a merchant and you are going to go,
Oirey fucking his.
Yeah, you don't, yeah.
The fucking private detective.
Here he comes the spy.
Is it camel-colored? beige trench coat. I'm not even trying to get a photo of it or anything.
I can show you a photo a bit.
I'm going to say before seeing it, I don't think it's a coat I think it's you in it.
Yeah I think it's a lovely coat.
I've got a lot of it, that's a nice coat I've never got, that coat that coat suits you.
Who picked out the coat? Was it you or Rose? It was both of us together.
So Rose.
But you were near her when she decided?
No, I love the coat.
Okay.
Are you sending me the picture of the coat?
Yeah, I'm just finding it.
Anyway, it got all creased in the bag.
And I was really disappointed with, I was like, like, I've creased my nice new coat.
Oh, you just more on your coat?
No, because Rob, because you're already laughing, you haven't even seen it.
No, but I just thought, have you got a hat that goes with it or is it just the coat?
No, we haven't got a hat that goes with it. So, well, it is to wear sort of when it's not too, to to to to to to to the to to the to to to the to the to to the to the to to the to to to the to to to to to to to to be, to to to to to be to to be to to to to to tho. tho. tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. the tho. tho. the. the. the. the. the. the. the tho. the tho. tho. tho. tho. toe. tho. toe. toe. tho. the. toe. the rain. Yeah what's it called? I dressed terrible at a Mac isn't it? I can't get an handle on it. A Macintosh. There you go, there's the picture. That's not
me in it, obviously that's a model. Yeah, yes, I can tell he's Chinese.
Yeah, I think it's a nice coat. Obviously I'd like to see you in it. That's not as bad Mac I thought it was going to be the one that has you know the little the little belt around the middle? Oh yeah yeah the burberry. Yeah the little waistcoat you know like
it's a little waist belt. Yeah to bring it in the flaps on the to really show my hips. Yeah to get
that ass out I think it looks a nice coat I'd wear that coat. Okay, it wouldn't just be you Rob. That's not just a reflection on you. I can't just say it's such a normal cut. It's like, it's just a basic coat. If someone was
wearing a suit and they wanted a coat to go over the top it's quite thin but quite smart and
buttoned up, that's a nice jacket. Yeah. And it's not you in that picture in that picture. Yeah. And it's not you in that picture. that picture in that picture in that picture in that picture in that picture in that picture in that picture. that picture. that picture in that picture. that picture. that picture. that picture in that picture. It's a that's a nice, that's a nice, that picture in that's a nice, that's a nice, that's a nice, that's a nice, it's a nice, that's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a that's a nice, it's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a nice, that's a nice, that's a nice, thi. thi. thi. that's a nice, that's a nice, that's a nice, thi. that's a nice, thi. thi. thi. that's a nice, that's a classic, thi. It's a classic, the guy with a jet black French crop. The problem is, this is same with me.
I always look a bit silly and stupid stuff
because I've got silly and stupid face.
I know.
So I know.
That's what we are.
I know.
That's why we do this.
We look like, a lot of the time, I'll try to write a really good joke.
And I'll just say why, but just say it again. That's how I do stand-up. That's why you do new material.
Sometimes I'll say the setup and people will laugh.
I'm like, wait a minute.
And then they don't laugh at the punch, I know.
What's going on in?
And then I go, what's it just, I just turn up you laugh at me?
That's some freak show. I was in yoga this morning. This morning, we're doing this at 9 a.m.
What time did you do yoga?
7 a.m. Online or somewhere?
No, just around the corner.
Right, okay.
Yeah.
And the 7 a.m. Yoga?
Yeah. Yeah, because it's good for my shoulder.
their shoulder.
Of course, of course.
And there's always older men that have been thld you need to do this because your neck or back, no offence. Yeah. And then you can just hear them cracking and creak. I did a yoga one class before. One I really liked,
they had music on and it was quite chilled and didn't be lit. Did one the other day? No music
on complete silence. It was disgusting. People breathing is disgusting. So fuck off. I'm
I'm trying to relax and I got that hog next to me. So she said something about a pose and she was like one of those dolls, she said something
like one of those dolls you used to get in a box or something.
Yeah. And then she said I'm showing my age now. She was at our age, right?
And then she put on funny voice that I describe as similar to my voice. What did she say? And she said, oh God I feel like I'm showing my age now. Do you, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, like, do, like, like, like, do, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Do you th. Do you th. Do you th. Do you th. Do you th. Do you're th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi to my voice. What did she say? And she said, oh God
I feel like I'm showing my age now. Do you remember when you used to wind
cassette tapes back with a pen? And I thought, that's good stuff. Stick that a little.
I like that. She's fucking. She's stepping on my toes, not literally. The way she lunges, she will be in a minute.
I was like, is that a dig?
She spotted me and she did.
I think that is a bit of a dig.
Or your material is so pedestrian, even a yoga instructor can improvise it, mid-position.
Either or you decide.
But I do find, like, I like, I love yoga, but it's an absolute lottery of you get doing it. Like, you got, if you find someone that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that is a that. thi. I th. I th. I is a th. I is a th. I is a th. I is a th. I is th. I is, I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. thiii. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I th. I thi. I thi. I th. I thi. I th.that I like, I love yoga, but it's an absolute lottery of you get doing it.
Like you got, if you find someone that you enjoy doing it with, it's amazing.
But if you have a new, you try a new person and you don't click with them.
This is what, because I've said before, I did one where it was chilled music.
He actually had a microphone on and it was dimly lit and I felt like people were doing really advanced stuff but if you couldn't do that there was options that you could do and feel part of the
group and it was lovely. That's what I went to was brightly lit I could hear
everyone. One point she went just lay on your back and do what your body wants to do.
I was like what? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Do you want to do? I'm to do. I. I. I. I. I. to do, do, do, do, do, do, do, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, to, to, to, to, to, and, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the the the the the the th th the, the, the, the. the. the. the. theat? the. thooooooooooo? the. to the. the. the. the. want to breathe and do what your body wants to do. I was like, no, you're supposed to be telling me what to do.
This is a class.
Don't listen to your brain.
Listen to your stomach.
My stomach's telling you to fuck off.
That's what it's telling me.
That's what it's telling me to fuck off right now.
It's horrible. In the end end, I end, I end, I end, I to to to to to to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. thin. to be. thin. to be. thin. to be. to be. to be. to bea. to bea. to bea, listen. to thin. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to. to to to to to listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. to. to. Listen. to. to to to to to to to the the the the the the thin. the thin. the thin. the thin. the thin. the thin. the te. the te. the tell. the tell. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. absolute lottery on the instructor. Oh, absolute luxury. We need to do a small business shout out don't we?
Small business shout out. Oh, I tell what I'm gonna do. I'll give one to you know it's good to do personal recommendations.
Yeah cattle grid in Windsor lovely restaurant run by a friend of a friend Steve Steve
Matt Ford's mate actually you know Matt Ford who's back on the radio by the way after having spy, surgery for spinal cancer. Poor, poor, poor sort.
But he's back on the radio, back working, only what, three, four months ago? So amazing stuff.
Anyway, I went to Cattle Grid in Windsor. I think they might have other ones in London as well. But it's like, yeah, like a little restaurant in, by Windsor train station.
I'd say some of the best chicken wings have ever had and ribs.
I'm going to put some photos up in the week of what I had.
But yeah, cattle grid at Windsor, top-notch food if you are in the Windsor area after a little gig weekend with the kids.
Low massive kids menu as well.
I'll take eight options on the kids menu.
Oh my worst. Goujon's chicken burger, beef burger, chicken breast, macaroni cheese one minute steak.
It's not bad is it. But yeah, Cattle Grid, Windsor, that's my small business shout out this week.
Josh what have you got?
Hey Rob, Josh and Michael, thanks for your podcast. I really love it. Please could you shout out my small business, color chronicles which is home to the book. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to the to to the to to to the to to to to the to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to Chronicles, which is home to the book of you.
The book of you is a childhood memory journal filled out once a year from the age of 16, includes
questions you ask the kid from age three.
You're never doing that. You ate a fulm.
Get Rose to do it. The answers are really funny and in one book once a year you
have all the childhood memory making, ttaking care of. That is lovely. It's become a birthday tradition and it's fun to look back
past years reading their answers and seeing what they've drawn or written.
The book comes in six rainbow colors and can be found at Color Chronicles.
tho and Instagram at Color Chronicles. Thank you, Ruth.
Lovely idea Rob. We will be back on Friday. Jason Bell. Super Bowl weekend and he is one of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's tr. It is tr. It is tr. It is tr. It is tr. It is tr. It is tr. It is tr. It is tr. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the birthday the birthday th. It's th. It's the birthday th. It's the birthday the birthday the birthday the birthday the birthday the birthday the birthday the birthday the birthday the birthday the birthday the birthday th. It's th. weekend. Super Bowl weekend and he is one of the most inspiring people we
we both we both had a absolute hard on for him. Man crush ex-NFL and he's got one child with Nadine from Girls Aloud.
They're not together anymore but they still have a very positive relationship parenting wise don't they? Which is good to hear. Good to hear. It's not always the story. But yeah, I mean it was on strictly as the the the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most inspiring. the most inspiring. the most inspiring. the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most inspiring. the most the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most inspiring the most the most the most the most wise don't they which is good to hear good to hear it's not always the great story
but yeah I mean it was on strictly as well very handsome very engaging
charismatic geez geez Louise what a guy anyway Jason Bell on Friday see you then
bye bye bye