Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Naseem Rochette on How Paying It Forward Changes Lives EP 509

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

In this powerful episode, Naseem Rochette shares her remarkable story of survival after being run over three times by a car in 2018. Naseem turned this traumatic experience into an opportunity for growth and resilience, ultimately celebrating Unbreakable Day to inspire others to thrive in the face of adversity. She discusses the lessons from her memoir, The Unexpected Benefits of Being Run Over, and how she found strength in vulnerability, community, and purpose. This conversation offers a unique perspective on overcoming life’s toughest challenges and finding meaning through the most difficult moments.Full show notes and resources:  https://passionstruck.com/naseem-rochette-paying-it-forward-changes-lives/SponsorsBabbel: Unlock the power of learning a new language with Babbel's innovative system. Passion Struck listeners can get 60% off their subscription at Babbel.com/PASSION.Hims: Regrow your hair before it's too late! Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/PASSIONSTRUCK.Quince: Experience luxury for less with Quince's premium products at radically low prices. Enjoy free shipping and 365-day returns at Quince.com/PASSION.For more information about our sponsors and promo codes, visit: passionstruck.com/dealsIn this episode, you will learn:The importance of recognizing and accepting help from others during difficult times.How a traumatic experience can lead to profound personal transformation and growth.The significance of vulnerability in building deeper connections with others.The impact of a lack of remorse from others in traumatic situations and its emotional consequences.The concept of "paying it forward" and how small acts of kindness can create a ripple effect in the community.The value of living with intentionality and presence in relationships with loved ones.The lessons learned from navigating personal struggles and how they can inspire others.The idea that breaking doesn't mean being broken; challenges can lead to resilience and strength.Connect with Naseem Rochette: https://www.linkedin.com/in/naseemrochette/Order Passion StruckUnlock the principles that will transform your life! Order my book, Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life. Recognized as a 2024 must-read by the Next Big Idea Club, this book has earned accolades such as the Business Minds Best Book Award, the Eric Hoffer Award, and the Non-Fiction Book Awards Gold Medal. Order your copy today and ignite your journey toward intentional living!Catch More Passion StruckMy solo episode on Why You Must Feel to Find Emotional HealingCan’t miss my episode withKara Robinson Chamberlain on Be Vigilant About Your SafetyWatch my episode with Flory Seidel On Creating a Happy LifeDiscover my interview with Kegan Gill on How to Not Just Survive but Thrive in LifeCatch my interview with Admiral James Stavridis on the Bold Decision to Risk It AllIf you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a review! Even one sentence helps. Be sure to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can personally thank you!

Coming up next on Passion Strike. I'd seen myself in the mirror and I knew I was unrecognizable. I couldn't walk. I couldn't see. My eye had been cut open. Pay it forward. I could barely open my eyes. I couldn't hold a coffee cup. Like, how could I pay it forward?

And it really added a lot of micro recovery. But also at the same time, hearing that it was a miracle, it did two things. One, it added the stress of, well, I miraculously survived. I don't deserve help. I don't deserve to be off from work. And all of the kindness that people wanted to impart on me, all of that kindness was like a debt in my ledger.

But at the same time, that little idea that I had to pay it forward just seeped into my brain. And every day I thought, oh, I paid forward. What do I do? What does that mean? What does that look like? Welcome to Passion Struck.

Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice

and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become Passion Struck. Hey, Passion Struck fam, I am absolutely fired up to welcome you back for episode 509

of the Passion Struck podcast. You, yes, you are the heartbeat of this movement and I can't thank you enough for your energy, passion, and relentless curiosity. You keep showing up week after week, ready to level up your life, and that's what makes this community so powerful and unstoppable. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome to the PassionStruck family. You've just become part of a community that's all about igniting purpose and living boldly

with intentional action. We are so excited to have you join us on this transformative journey. For those of you who want to dive in even deeper and keep the momentum going, be sure to sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter. Every week I send out exclusive insights, practical exercises, and tools to help you apply the lessons from the podcast directly to your life. Head over to passionstruck.com and take the next step towards intentional living today. And for those who want to spread the love, and we love it when you do, we've made it super easy with our episode starter packs. With over 500 episodes to explore, it can be

tough to know where to begin. So we've curated playlists just for you. Whether you're into behavioral science, mental health, leadership, stories of veterans, or hearing from inspiring women breaking barriers, there's something for you. Whether you're into behavioral science, mental health, leadership, stories of veterans, or hearing from inspiring women breaking barriers, there's something for everyone. Check them out on Spotify or visit passionstruck.com slash starter packs to dive in. Now, earlier this week, I had the privilege of sitting down with Corey Allen, a mindfulness expert who shared some incredible insights on cultivating deeper awareness and presence in our everyday lives. If you haven't checked out that episode yet, I highly recommend you do. It's packed with practical tools

to help you live more fully in the moment and reduce stress in our fast-paced world. Be sure to give it a listen. Now, let's get into today's episode with Naseem Roshet. On May 21st, 2018, Naseem's life took a dramatic and unexpected turn when she was run over three times by a car while crossing a quiet tree-lined street. As her husband's anguished cries filled the air, onlookers feared they were witnessing

the end of a life. But in a miraculous twist, Nassim survived, though the journey ahead would be one of unimaginable physical and mental challenges. What follows is not just a story of survival, it's a story of rebirth. In her memoir, The Unexpected Benefits of Being Run Over, Nassim shares how this traumatic event became a catalyst for profound transformation. She faced her struggles head on and discovered a resilience within herself she didn't know existed. Her story is a powerful reminder that breaking doesn't mean you're broken, and her deepest cracks can lead to the most extraordinary breakthroughs.

In this episode, Naseem offers an inspiring perspective on trauma, healing, and transformation. She teaches us how to turn life's most unspeakable challenges into opportunities to rebuild and find meaning. You'll hear how she found strength in community, embraced her vulnerability, and now encourages others to celebrate the small victories in life. Fair warning, this episode may evoke strong emotions for some listeners, so please proceed with care. And before we dive in, I just wanted to say thank you. Your ratings, reviews, and support mean the world to us. If today's episode resonates with you, we'd love for

you to give us a 5-star review and share it with your friends and family. Your support helps us reach more people and bring on incredible guests like Naseem Rashad. Now, let's dive into Naseem's powerful journey. Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. I am so honored today to have Naseem Rashad

on Passion Struck. to have Naseem Rashad on Passion Struck. Welcome Naseem. Hi John. Thank you for having me. I'm so honored and first congratulations. I know you recently hit 500 episodes. Bravo. Thank you so much. I can't believe it happened already.

I remember when I started, I was researching other podcasts, one being School of Greatness with Lewis Howes, and I listened to him celebrate a thousand episodes. And I just sat there thinking, how could I possibly ever even get to a couple hundred, much less a thousand? So it really is incredible that we've hit 500 episodes in under four years. Bravo. It's like kids. You raise them and all of a sudden they're adults. Absolutely the case. Naseem, I'm going to start out right from a pinnacle moment in your life. And I think we all have moments that define us. And this one definitely did. Can you take us back to May 21st, 2018 when your life changed in an instant? Absolutely.

May 21st, 2018 was what I now call unbreakable day. It is, as you noted, it was a life-changing day for me. So it was a day that actually started out as a fabulous day where I woke up feeling great, power outfit, had a big meeting. I was feeling happy. Life was good. It was actually like, I woke up feeling like this was going to be the best day. And at four o'clock in the afternoon, it was turning out to be one of the best days. And then as you noted, something happened. I was, it was such a good day.

I was goofing off. I got out of work a little bit early, went to meet my husband and kids. We were gonna have dinner. And so I took an early train home from New York that day to my town in New Jersey. I was walking to meet my husband and it was such a nice day, John,

that I actually said to him, I was like, don't pick me up at the station. I wanna walk a little. And for, you can't see me, but I'm short. So I am often wearing really big heels. And it was the day I was wearing really big, like five inch heels. And I told my husband,

he knows I don't wanna walk up the hills of where we live. So he was meeting me at the bottom of one of the hills. And I saw him and I was crossing the street to him, but interestingly, he was just across the street and I could have just run across the street to him, but we were by a school and there were crosswalks and I like to be respectful and be a good example. And so I said, hold on, I'm going to use the crosswalks. So I crossed the first crosswalk. I was crossing in the second crosswalk and a car turned and started coming towards me. Now I was in the

crosswalk. I was wearing my five inch heels. I saw the car. There was enough room. I thought it would stop. And the car didn't stop. It hit me. But then the car did stop. And I was standing there and I was like, oh my gosh, I just got hit by a car. It's fine. I'm going to be black and blue. I was annoyed. I'm going to be late for dinner, but I was fine. And then that's when things took a turn. Then the car accelerated and the car drove over me and the car reversed and drove over me a second time. And then the car went forward and drove over me a third time. And then I was pinned underneath the car. So that's the quick story. I just can't even imagine.

I love to ride bicycles and I either do spin classes, spin in my house or right now, since the weather's good, I like to ride outdoors when I can. And this morning I had to go through, I think it was 12 crosswalks as I was writing down what's called the Pinellas trail here in the Tampa Bay area, and as I was coming through the last of them, there was traffic coming the other way that stopped, but the last car that stopped was this big cargo van.

And so I am so glad that I waited just to see so I could peek on the other side because a car completely blew right through it and if I would have kept riding I would have been nailed. Well as we're sharing crossing the street I will say to you and to you know everyone listening I now when I cross the street after that experience I make eye contact and put my hand up because I feel like I need to be an active participant in controlling the situation a little bit, which is hard to do, but it does help. So here you are, you're underneath this car, and I had an incident a number of years ago where an intruder came into my house. I unfortunately, it turns out that they were canvassing me and I was typically at the gym at this point of time in the morning, but the gym had some type of electrical fire. So I came home

unexpectedly early and I walked in on this person who had obtained my gun and actually pointed it at me as I was coming up the stairs to figure out what was going on upstairs. And I remember even though it was just a brief instant, it felt like time stood still. Did you experience the same thing when you were underneath that car? Oh my God, you were spot on. It probably lasted a minute, but for me, it was about 20 minutes of conversation I had with myself.

In fact, when it started out, I mentioned to you, I was having a great day. It started out very, I was hit by the car and thinking to myself, this stinks, but I'm fine, going to be black and blue. And even that conversation lasted a couple of minutes where I was hit by the car and thinking to myself, this stinks, but I'm fine. I'm going to be black and blue. And even that conversation lasted a couple of minutes where I was telling myself in my mind anyway, where I was telling myself is annoying, but it's a gray cocktail party story. And then when she ran over me and I was underneath the car, that's when time was

really slow because John, I was pretty sure I was going to die. Yeah, I wouldn't, I don't even say 99%. I was a hundred percent sure I was going to die. I could hear in the screams of my husband who was watching through the other witnesses that were watching, they were watching me die. In fact, the first time she ran me over, I thought, I was trying to weave, I thought I could get out of it. The second time I actually said to myself, something's wrong. This isn't right. And I started reflecting back on my life.

I have three kids at the time. They were nine, 11 and 13. I thought, I don't want to leave my kids. I don't want to die. I'm not ready, but it was even crazier at the moment. I told her I was really happy that day. For me to be happy, John, was like the first hard fought battle of my life.

I was this really awkward, insecure kid. You know, I call myself a misfit. I still call myself a misfit. And for the first 25 years of my life, I probably didn't even, I didn't like who I was. I wasn't comfortable with myself and my skin. And then it took probably another 20 years and lots of self-help books and lots of, lots of introspection to really, and not just life and maturity, but to become somebody that I was proud of. And at that moment, I was proud of the life that I had built.

I had a happy family, a good job, was well-educated. Like I lived, I lived in the moment so often and enjoyed life. And I really worked hard to be somebody that was enjoying life and happy. And I didn't want to let that go. But at the same time, as I started reflecting and thinking, I don't want to leave my kids and why didn't I ever write them letters and do they know how I feel, I thought, you know what, we have been living. I have been present with them. And yes, they know what I think.

They know who I am and I don't wanna leave them. But I was actually thought, it's been a good life. I've lived with spontaneity and joy and love. But then I also thought, my kids knew how much I loved them and how I felt about them, but not everybody in my life did. And that was actually the one regret that I had, is that all of the other people that

I encountered, sometimes acquaintances, sometimes friends, they didn't know how much I appreciated them. They didn't know the impact they had in my life. And that's something that I've actually tried very hard to change. But in those moments under the cards, that was actually my big regret. And you and I have talked about this before, but one of the things we discussed was

as you were sitting there waiting for either death or for rescue, one of the things that went through your mind was a shift of perspective on control versus surrender. Can you explain what was happening? I love how you put that, the shift of control. That morning, that person that was happy was a control freak. And I really wanted, I worked hard to orchestrate all the things in my life, whether it was with my kids or my job

or those moments into the car, even my response while I was laying, waiting for the car to be lifted off of me. And as I was actually, funny enough, as I was waiting there, it took about 12, 14 minutes for them to airbag, put airbags under the tires and lift the car off of me. I started thinking to myself, wait a minute, now that I know I'm alive and I'm sorry, I'm jumping into it. There's so much to a pack of when I thought I was dead, but as I was there and I thought, Oh my gosh, I have survived.

I've just gone from, okay, ready to die to no, not dying. Honey. My husband was watching. I was like, do you have my purse? And then I'm thinking, Oh my gosh, my favorite shoes. Did I lose a shoe? And was my skirt hiked up and all of those things that you never imagine you're going to think of

while your brain is bleeding, you can't move your body, you're in searing pain, but that control freak showed up again. And sometimes I'm relieved by that because I knew there was a willingness to live in that moment, that surrender is turned out to be a theme and a change throughout my journey. Not just having to grapple with it in those moments. Well, thank you for sharing that. And I have to imagine when Wes had to break the news to your children, it must

have been incredibly difficult, not only for him, but for all of you. How did your family cope in those initial hours after the accident and what role did your family play in your early recovery? Well, candidly, John, that was probably my, the impact on my family was one of the hardest and most heartbreaking aspects of the whole situation. So I get even a little choked up. Not so when, from those early moments, when my husband had to call my daughter, she was 13. I know we have daughters of similar age. And we called her, she was 13 and she was the oldest.

So she's always been very mature. And I had to say, Mom's been in an accident. And when it first happened, he didn't know. He just watched me die. All I knew was that I could wiggle my fingers. We had assumed the worst in my injuries. And she said, is it bad? And he said, yeah, but I don't know.

And so my poor daughter had this weight of that where there's no fight or flight option, just this weight of this news that her whole life was about to change. But as this very mature 13 year old, she held onto that and took charge. When she had two younger brothers who were nine and 11 and became the parent to them in those early weeks.

And even when those first moments, had to tell them the news that I was in an accident, had to navigate an au pair whose first day was to a hospital to find me. That was our new babysitter. And she actually has PTSD as well from what she had to see in those first days. Like she can't, she's poor girl,

had to wash the blood out of my hair. And now if she sees me with messy hair, it's a trigger for her. Little things that I would never have imagined when I was going through it. And so it was a really hard time for them because they had lost the mom that was so in control, that did manage everything.

But at the same time, as I talk about the impact on the kids, one thing that I learned really early on that is one of the most impactful lessons for me was recognizing that the accident didn't just happen to me, it happened to everyone that loved me. And that was not only my kids, certainly the most impact to them and to Wes Scott, my husband, but to also my close friends, my community, everybody that felt like they had depended on me or it could have been them,

all who wanted to then be a part of, understand my journey, understand what I was going through and be a part of, understand my journey, understand what I was going through and be a part of my healing. When you asked about that kind of that control, that was where I had the toughest time in learning that I couldn't, now, first of all, not only could I not be in control

because my mind didn't work and my body didn't work and I was broken into a lot of pieces. I couldn't be in control because I needed to surrender and let people help and learn that my letting them help was actually an act of strength, which is something I had never thought about before. I never, I was the one that helped. I was the one in control, realizing that people needed to be part of my journey. And then I needed to let them was one of the most rewarding, insightful, yet difficult learnings of this crazy experience. Naseem, I want to explore that in more detail in a couple of minutes, but I want to ask you a couple more things about the accident itself. You write that when you first looked in the mirror, you didn't recognize yourself.

How did that experience of physical transformation affect your self-perception? Well, when I first, when I was in the hospital, so let me share that miraculously, even though I was run over three times, the tires went over me five times, I actually did not break a single bone. So after an hour and a half of tests and my family went in the waiting room thinking the worst. We got the news that I had not broken a single bone. There was no skull fracture. Obviously I have a traumatic brain injury, but there was no skull fracture. There was no internal bleeding and they were actually, they never even admitted

me into the hospital. So when I got this news, there were two things I did. I said first to my husband, bring the kids in. I want to see them because I felt like they had kept me going. The second thing I said was call my boss, tell him I'm going to be back to work on Thursday. This was all a Monday. I thought, well, nothing's broken.

Two days at home and I'll be back to work. But what I didn't realize, and I'm just going to touch on my kids again for a second, is what I looked like. Because when I thought nothing's broken, and I was like, why didn't you send the kids in? I didn't know how unrecognizable I was. My poor children, another trauma for them

was they had to see a mom that was, had a face that was completely ripped up. There were many scars and I was swollen. I was unrecognizable. The tires had actually driven over my head and necks on my whole right side of my face and my ear were ripped up, but I didn't know that. And then I finally saw myself in the mirror

when I went to the bathroom. And oh my God, John, to see yourself and have no idea who the person is that's staring back at you. That was just, I don't even know the right words. It was horrifying. It was absolutely terrifying, not only because I didn't recognize myself, my iPhone didn't even recognize me. My kids didn't recognize me. So not only physically was recognize me. My kids didn't recognize me. So not only physically was I no longer the person that I had woken up that I was earlier that day, emotionally, mentally, that was the first glimpse

into realizing that I was that happy, strong, in control person that woke up that Monday morning was nowhere to be found. And one of the things that ended up happening is you describe your injuries and it's just miraculous that I mean, that you're still here talking to me. In fact, the nurses who were treating you told you that it was a complete miracle. And one of them happened to mention to you that you now need to pay this forward. And so that started a series of events, including writing the book that we're

discussing the unexpected benefits of being run over, but how did you rationalize those words you need to pay it forward? When you first heard them. That seemed an insurmountable goal. I was, in fact, it added, it was so stressful when they said it. And a few of the nurses and doctors, it was miraculous that I survived. And I do feel lucky every day that I survived. But when they said that, and I'd seen myself in the mirror and I knew I was unrecognizable and again, I couldn't walk, I couldn't see, my eye had been cut open and I didn't pay it forward. I could barely open my eyes. I couldn't hold a coffee cup. Like

how could I pay it forward? And it really added a lot of micro recovery, but also at the same time, hearing that it was a miracle added this, it did two things. One, it added the stress of, well, I miraculously survived. I don't deserve help. I don't deserve to be off from work. And all of the kindness that people wanted to impart on me, as I mentioned, as the control freak, all of that kindness was like a debt in my ledger. But at the same time, that little idea

that I had to pay it forward just seeped into my brain. And every day I thought, oh, I paid forward. What do I do? What does that mean? What does that look like? Because I didn't want to change my life. I just, to me, this idea of paying it forward meant some monumental shift in

the way I approached the world and I was going to go do something big and grand. And I just wanted to be me again. I wanted to be the mom, the working mom with the three kids enjoying life. I didn't want some great big transformation in who I was and how I approach things. I started thinking about, and look, I say I started thinking about it, it was pressure for me for probably the first several months. But as I started to navigate the idea that this accident was not going to be this defining crisis and end to my happy life, as I decided that I was going to find a happy story, I started to document or notice the

things that I was learning, both about from those moments under the car, like thinking, you know, how important it is and how glad I was that I lived with my children with presence, but that I needed to appreciate the other people as well. I started writing those lessons, and then I started writing the lessons that I learned in those first six months, even now, ongoing journey of recovery. Like I realized, John, I had lived in the same town for many years, met people that I had known on the sidelines at school pickups and soccer games that I'd seen day in and day out for years.

Many of the people who wanted to help me, but I had never actually really known those people. I would say hello to them, but I was never sharing deep dark secrets about myself. And I noticed that with the accident, as I started sharing my, the things that were going on with me through the accident, through the struggles, I was opening the door for them to share back. And that was like one of the lessons that I learned is, and I started to document as we're vulnerable, we give license to other people and permission that they can share because we're all going through things. All of us are going through things. And so I started to document those lessons. And that was the beginning of my paying it forward. And then on the anniversary of the accident, we decided to, I would send out an email with some of the things that

I learned really just to my, to the, my friends circle to the people that were part of my life and showing up for me. And we decided to coin the day of the accident, Unbreakable Day, and recognize two things. One, that day was, it could have been the day I died. I could have looked at that day as a horrible day, but we decided to reframe it as the day I survived, the day I almost became a superhero, or maybe I became a superhero because I survived. And also to think about and thank all of the people that helped me get through that moment. Because one of the things that I learned is that I couldn't have gotten through it without it. I wouldn't have a happy story if I didn't let all those people in. And as I realized, we all go through something. We wanted to coin it in such a way that we can all embrace it.

We're all, we all break. But if we look at those breaks as part of our journey, then we get to all be unbreakable too. And most of us don't give ourselves credit for what we've gone through. I know you've gone through stuff. I know probably just about everyone listening has gone through something, but how often do we say, you know what, yeah, that was really hard, but I'm stronger because I survived it and I've learned this and I've learned that and because of this relationship is better. And you know what, so often those hard moments we look at as dark times that we just put in the closet, but we can shed a little light on that. And we can say, thank the people that helped us survive, that helped us thrive.

And I think we need to do that more often, because it is, those tough moments give us strength. And there are hard things that we go through that will always be hard. We're not going to reframe that that was a happy event. Like, look, being run over by a car three times, it's not a happy event. But what's come out of it, what I've learned, I've chosen to find the value in it. And I think we can all find value in those tough moments.

So that's how I started paying it forward. And then a very long story, a very long answer to your question. And then when COVID happened, I felt like we were all living in an unbreakable day, really complex moment for all of us. And I realized that many of the lessons and things that I had learned from the accident

and that I was sharing with my small community of people were probably lessons and insights that a wider swath of the world could value or learn from. And truthfully, if I could have just said, here are my 10 lessons, what I call the sermon section of my book. I probably would have just published that, but I realized that those lessons aren't meaningful unless you have the full context of the journey, the experience and my life. What started out as a book of lessons, then turned into a memoir, which has turned into, I'm proud and honored and surprised to say, has become a self-help book for many people. And so that's how I'm paying it forward. And I realized that paying

it forward doesn't have to be this great big life change. It's in little simple actions. It's like saying sorry when someone hurts you or smiling at a person or sharing a lesson or kindness or just it's just connecting with the world with a little bit more positivity. Well, thank you for sharing all that and for those who are listening the way that the book is written, it has multiple parts. The the first part that you go into is the impact. The second part you go into is what you titled before, before the accident actually happened. And that's something I wanted to spend just a little bit of time on just to give the

audience some context to who you are. So you have a really interesting background. You and I have a lot in common. We have daughters who are not only the same age, the same grade, but they're going to the same college. And you and I ended up graduating the same year from college from two universities about a half an hour away from each other. So you got an undergraduate, as I understand it,

in English literature. You then went and got an MBA, and then you got a master's at Columbia in journalism. Yep. Those three things, typically put together, are not what you see someone possess typically in the tech world. How did you find your way into a career in technology? Well, first I'll say those degrees, I was actually naturally a math with kid. I was my natural inclinations when I was young

were always math and science. But as I mentioned, I always felt like this little insecure misfit. I never felt comfortable. And so I became an English Lit major to try and understand the world a little bit better. And then I became a business major. And actually after English Lit, I moved to London,

worked at a discotheque and realized that business is how the world works. Everything is business, whether you're marketing at a discotheque or something more traditional. And then I happened to live in San Francisco during the dot-com boom and started in the dot-coms, which made me realize technology is, was for me, this beautiful bridge between understanding how the world works and maybe some of my initial inclinations toward math and science. But with technology, you get to solve problems and you get to change,

you get to change lives. And what have we lived through over the last 20 years with right now, you and I are on a web call from home doing this. That didn't exist a long time ago. So that's how I got into technology because of how it could change lives. And then I actually ended up going back to school for a master's in journalism right around September 11th, because I grew up, my maiden name was Hussein. And I wanted to strengthen my voice as somebody that could speak confidently, maybe go into

the media and show a different side of what Indian Muslim women look like and what a Muslim voice can be. However, I also realized that I love tech and so I ended up not making the change to journalism but using that skill at Microsoft, at Google, Microsoft, I ran my own live stream show and just found that ability to ask questions, whether you're in technology or something else is so instrumental in not only solving problems, but connecting with people. And tech has been, I fell into it, but I love it.

And now with Chenai and all of these new capabilities, there's so much to figure out. I feel like this, we can be artists just trying to solve problems with technology. So fell into it and still here. can be artists just trying to solve problems with technology. So fell into it and still here. It must be such an interesting time to be at Microsoft with Copilot and what the company is trying to do with that and everything else. Things are changing so quickly it's

hard to even keep up with everything that's going on. It's truly fantastic. I can start my day and say, and ask a question to my virtual assistants of what email should I read or what should I do or honestly, I don't think I do more than five things a day now that don't involve AI. I'm drinking the Kool-Aid. So let's go back to the book. And before we go into your sermons, you ended up entering this contest called the Best Indie

Book Award. And to be honest, that's how I discovered you because I was looking at book contests to enter my own book in. And not only did you enter this contest, but you won book of the year. Can you talk about that realization and you must've just fallen out of your chair. Oh my gosh, John. So I had entered a couple of book contests and look, I'm an, I'm an indie publisher and they're not a lot of really great contests for independent books.

That was one of the best. And when I entered, I didn't have, candidly, I didn't have expectation that really anybody was going to read my book. I thought I was writing it for my family and friends and putting good out in the world. The success of the book has been a wonderful surprise. But when I got the email, when the book, I actually so I read it. And when I figured it was like, okay, maybe I'll win for a category would be amazing. And

it said book of the year. And I was like, call my husband, I was like, read this email, this isn't making sense to me. What are they trying to say? He's like, I think you won book of the year. I'm like, I didn't win book of the year. I'm like, maybe every book is like a book of the year of some sort. And like, so I actually emailed them back and asked them what they meant by that statement, cause I just didn't believe it. There's a really big honor and I couldn't be, I'm just so humbled and thrilled that people have responded to the book.

That as I mentioned, I thought it was a kind of a, initially a memoir, but it's been getting a lot of a praise and appeal as a self-help book and hearing the stories and actually I'm going to encourage anybody what I've realized now as a writer, putting it all out there is how important it is to hear from people when something resonates. I was never one to write reviews and to reach out, but now I'll send notes and just say, hey, you know what? I listened to your podcast or I watched your show or I read your book and it brought me value. It felt good. I appreciate it. Thank you for the effort. Because being an open book, as you've written a book, I'm getting more used to being vulnerable, but putting it all out there,

the world knowing so much more about me than I know about most people, it's a little scary. And so the feedback and the accolades have, I don't even know the right words. It's just been, I should ask my co-pilot, I should ask Jenny. I had to get him up. Let me come up with some words, but it's been such an honor. And what's it allowed me to be like to meet you, which is amazing. Well, when you and I talked about accidents that we've both been in, I told you about something that I've never talked about on the podcast before. And that is when I was in high school, I didn't have a car to drive.

My parents at the time had their own cars, but I didn't have one in high school. And so I was dating a girl at the time and the only way I could go see her was to ride my bike. And so one day I'm on the bike going to see her and I'm going through this intersection where I have a clear green and a car comes smashing through the red light and hits me. And I remember flipping in the air. I was in toe clips, panicking, trying to get out of them.

I slam into their windshield and where I grew up in York, Pennsylvania, there were some pretty big gang areas. And this happened to be one of those areas you really didn't want to get stuck in. And so here I am. My bike is just destroyed. I'm a bloody mess. I can see blood all over my hands. It was on my face and other things. No one came to my aid. In fact, other people were shouting, you better not call the cops because we saw what happened. This was your fault. So here I am limping away from this and just feeling like a victim and just powerless. And you faced a similar situation in the fact that the person who hit you really never showed

any remorse for it, which to me is just so disturbing. Can you just share a little bit about that? Because I think it's an unfortunate thing that happened to both of us. That lack of remorse is just adding salt to a wound. And it was, it's been hard for me to navigate. So the driver, look, we know she showed bad judgment running over me three times, but then when the car stopped, she actually got out of the car and did not even look to see if I was okay. She just started having, it was almost like a tantrum, like a child. And just someone had to move her over to the side because she was screaming so loud, people

couldn't even talk to me and see if I was okay. So that happened. Look, those kinds of moments, we don't know how we're going to respond. And I held no ill will to her. She didn't mean to run me over three times. And in those first few weeks of my recovery, I really thought, okay, this, this woman made a mistake, pretty big one, but she didn't mean to run over me. When I went to the courthouse about four or five weeks later, I saw her when I was,

I had a cane, I was bandaged, I was cut up all over. It was still very early. I was still a mess. And I was with my husband and my daughter and she had seen my husband. And she had seen my husband and I saw her not five feet away from me. And John, she didn't even acknowledge me. She didn't look at me. She didn't say anything. She just did not acknowledge me.

And up until that moment, I think, look, I don't want to say I hold ill well now, but my, uh, things happen, things happen to all of us. I don't want to say I hold ill will now, but things happen. Things happen to all of us. I don't want to throw stones. Sometimes who knows what mistake I will make one day and not handle well. But when she didn't show me any kindness, when she didn't reach her hand out or even give me a look that showed that human connection, that remorse, that something, it actually sent me into a spiral.

It's like just as bad as the accident was, I fell off yet another cliff. I became completely irrational. It's actually when I started meds, antidepressants, anti-anxiety, because I could no longer control my emotions. That actually flipped the switch. That took me down 10 levels on towards just absolute lack of control. And just, I was shattered when that happened. I was, I, and I'm embarrassed to say we talked about my kids earlier. I went home from the courthouse that day and I was yelling at my kids. I think my youngest asked me

to go to the pool and I was screaming at him. I was yelling at our babysitter. I'm not a, I'm not someone to yell. We're usually a pretty happy household. I could not control my emotions and when my kids think of that day, they actually still cry because they saw not only was they saw us, they did not recognize who they saw. We talked about my face being unrecognizable. Well, my whole person was unrecognizable. That's how impactful lack of remorse can be, lack of human connection and empathy.

And unfortunately, that continued when I saw her a couple of years later. She didn't have proper car insurance. So my car insurance was deposing her and still no remorse. Not even, she was trying to say that I wasn't even in the crosswalk when there were multiple witnesses. Just the lack of acceptance and respect was devastating. And I'm sorry you had to go through that as well. Cause you feel like, you know,

what you do the right things and you, you just expect the golden rule. And we've talked so many times on this podcast about how much kindness positively impacts us. But when you see the reverse happen, I can understand why it had such a big negative impact on you and why it would have been so much harder for you to process these things.

Well, Nassim, in the time we have left, part four of your book, you call My Sermon, and you referenced this earlier, and I wanted to go through just a couple of these 10 parts of What you call the sermon so I'm gonna randomly pick a couple of these for you to talk about so why don't I go to? Number three let people help Yes, that's a big one I Talked about earlier how the letting people in was a big deal.

Let me give you the audience some context on how I learned that lesson. So right after the accident, my brother who was living across the country at the time flew out to see me, take care of me. Of course I sent him home because I thought I'm fine. You know, I was thinking I was going back to work. I wasn't in the hospital. I didn't deserve help. Go home.

He went home and unfortunately his dog, his dog Lucy that he really loved, that was like his sunshine, died shortly after that. And I thought to myself, oh my gosh, my poor brother. My brother needs my help. And of course he's saying, sister, you just got run over by a car three times. Don't worry about me.

But I kept thinking he needs my help and I need to help him. Now look, light bulbs didn't go off immediately for me, but that was the start of me recognizing just like I needed to help him, people needed to help me because the accident didn't just happen to me. It happened to everyone that loved me. And by letting them bring me a dinner or drive my kids to school or bring me a coffee or help me walk upstairs, I would really even like zipper my coat, all things that normally I would be so embarrassed. I'm an adult, you don't need to help me do that." But they felt so good when they could

help me. They felt they wanted to show me kindness. And as I said before, look, it is an act of generosity. It is actually a dimension of strength to learn how to let people help you. And the first time I had to let people help was hard. It was something I was learning. And still, I'm not going to say it's always easy. Sometimes you still want to be the one that does it all and controls it all. But a few years after the accident, I lost both of my parents, my dad, and then three weeks later, my mom. And once again, I saw this pouring of love, people bringing me flowers and dinners and things. And John, I could just accept it. It wasn't a debt in my ledger. I could just accept the kindness and appreciate it. And you know what? It felt so good. It helped

so much. And it helped me and it helped the people that wanted to show compassion, wanted to be connected to their community. So let people help. It's a simple thing and sometimes might even be just someone that opens the door for you. We're all like, oh no, I got it, but you know what, let them hold the door for you and say thank you. Thank you for sharing that. I'm so sorry to hear about your parents, especially to lose two of them three weeks apart. Sometimes we can't just think our way out of it. And you're right that the revelation that post-traumatic stress disorder is not just mental that it's physical to was such a gift to my recovery.

In my mind, I had been weak for not having gotten over the accident. I knew I had physical issues. I accepted that I still needed medications to regulate my anxiety, but I also couldn't accept that. I so badly wanted my mental strength to fix my mental issues. I wanted to be simply strong enough, self-sufficient enough to handle it all. With that as a backdrop, can you discuss why this is such an important point to you? We talked a little bit about my background.

Look, I worked really hard to be, to focus on self growth and mental strength. I have two master's degrees. I've had great jobs. I've always thought I am a problem solver. I can do this. I have a positive attitude. I've had great jobs. I've always thought I am a problem solver. I can do this. I have a positive attitude. I have a strong mind. I can think my way through navigating tough moments.

And I would hear that I have PTSD and that I have traumatic brain injury and I knew those things, but it didn't sway my opinion of I can think my way out of anything. About 10 months after the accident, I was on vacation with my kids. And I mentioned, I like to raise my hands when a driver's coming and have that good communication.

Okay. You're going to stop and then I'm going to cross. Well, I was, I was in Europe in a country where the driver expects you to start crossing and then they will stop. And so I was not crossing and my family would be on the other side of the street waiting for me and I was having panic attacks and I knew that I should be able to come on, but I couldn't cross. And I came home and we talked about like the people

that you don't know around you. Well, I came home, I was on a sideline of a soccer game telling another mom, by now everybody like loved the story. It's an exciting story being run over and asked how I was. And I said, oh, well, we just went to Europe and I was having this trouble crossing the street and I have PTSD and blah, blah, blah. And she said, I have PTSD and I'm really working on my body because of the autonomic

response and stuff that I'd heard before, but I never actually internalized it until this moment. And then I started, I started realizing, yeah, you know what, it's, there's this physical reaction that's happening. And I need to give myself some grace. It's a physical thing because this friend on the sideline at the soccer game, she was fabulous and strong and successful. And it was her telling me and showing me that it is not so simple that finally the light bulb went off.

What there's something more to just than just my mind. And once I realized that it was a physical reaction as well, I was able to slow down and breathe through it and give myself some grace. And it was this weight lifted off of me because I wasn't, I was feeling like a failure. It had been a year. Yes, we had reframed it to be Unbreakable Day.

We were like looking at a positive story, but I still felt like a failure that I hadn't been able to just think my way out of these panic attacks. And I appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing that the same such a wonderful book, so many lessons so glad we could get through a few of them and tease the audience to buy the book. Speaking of that, where's the best place for someone to go. If they want to know more about you, the keynote speech, speaking that you're doing now, the workshops and everything else. So you can find me at nasimrochette.com.

I tried to make it easy. Thank you, John. Thank you for finding me. I'm so excited we met. I am too. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thanks everyone. Ciao.

Wow. What an incredible conversation that was with Nassim Rashad. I hope you're leaving this episode as inspired as I am. Nassim's story truly represents the power of resilience and how we can all find strength even in the most unexpected and difficult of situations. Her journey reminds us that breaking doesn't mean broken and that the most challenging situations can lead to profound transformations. One of the biggest takeaways from today's episode is the importance of embracing our struggles and seeing them as opportunities for growth.

Whether you're facing personal challenges or helping others face theirs, Nassim's message of hope, resilience, and community is one that we can all learn from. If this conversation resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave a review and let us know how Nassim's story impacted you. And don't forget to share this episode with someone who needs to hear it. Your support means the world to us and it helps us share these inspiring stories with other people who could also use their wisdom. You can find links to all things Naseem, including her book, The Unexpected Benefits of Being

Run Over, in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Be sure to use the website links when purchasing any guest book. It helps to support the show. You can also check out the video of this episode at YouTube at both John R. Miles and Passion Struck Lips and find all our sponsor deals and discount codes at passionstruck.com slash deals. Please consider supporting those who support the show. Before we wrap up, I wanted to mention that in addition to hosting the PassionStruck podcast, I'm incredibly passionate about sharing these insights with organizations, conferences,

teams, and universities through speaking engagements. I've had the privilege of speaking to some of the world's top companies like FedEx and Target and associations and conferences, helping their leaders and teams unlock their potential, break through barriers, and live more intentionally. If today's episode sparks something in you and you think that these messages could inspire your company, organization, or next event, I'd love to explore how we could work together. So our miles.com slash speaking for more details or reach out directly through the website. And if you think I'd be a great fit for your next event, I'd really appreciate you spreading the word a quick email or recommendation and go a long way. And together we can inspire more people to live intentionally and to take bold steps towards success. Now get ready for next week's

episode because I'm sitting down with the incredible Dr. Michael Gervais, one of the world's leading experts on high performance and mindset mastery. We'll be diving into groundbreaking insights on overcoming the fear of other people's opinions and how top performers in sports, business, and life focus on internal mastery. It's an episode that's packed with practical strategies to help you take control of your mindset and to stop playing small. So efficacy is a fancy psychological term for power. And when you can see or others can point out to you more aptly that you are making a difference

in the greater whole, it does something primal and ancient to your brain. Safety is kind of what the brain is designed to do. Our ancestors gave us this powerful brain and this radical computer, if you will. And it's really orientated for just a few things, one of them being safety. And so we're constantly scanning the world to see, to assess safety or danger. And belonging is one of the most primal ways to know safety. The fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it. The greatest compliment that you can give us

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