Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Own Your Cracks: Embrace Wabi-Sabi to Grow Into What Matters | EP 555

Starting point is 00:00:00 Coming up next on Passion Struck, as we step into 2025, I want to ask you something. What if the goals you didn't reach, the plans that didn't unfold, and the cracks in your year aren't failures at all? What if they're part of something deeper, an opportunity to see life in a whole new way? In this episode, we're exploring the ancient philosophy of wabi-sabi, a perspective that challenges us to embrace imperfection, appreciate the fleeting nature of life, and find meaning in the unfinished. If you've ever felt weighed down by the pressure to be perfect, this conversation is for you. Welcome to Passion Struck.

Starting point is 00:00:34 Hi, I'm your host, Jon R. Miles, and on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turned their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now,

Starting point is 00:01:12 let's go out there and become passion struck. Welcome back everyone to another Momentum Friday in episode 555. Whether you're a longtime listener or brand new to the show, I'm thrilled to have you here as we kick off this first Momentum Friday of 2025. This is the place where we challenge conventional thinking, dive into intentional living, and explore what it means to lead a life of purpose and impact. And what better way to start the new year than by reflecting on the lessons, insights, and opportunities that lie ahead. Before we dive into today's episode, let's take a moment to recap this week's incredible guests.

Starting point is 00:01:46 On Tuesday, I spoke with Shira Gill, who shared practical strategies for decluttering your life. Not just your physical spaces, but your mental and emotional ones too. If you're looking to start the year lighter, more focused and more intentional, her episode is a must-listen. Then, on Thursday, Carrie Leibowitz joined me

Starting point is 00:02:02 to discuss how cultivating a mindset of resilience and positivity can profoundly impact your wellbeing. Her insights into reframing challenges and embracing optimism provide powerful tools for navigating the year ahead. If you missed either of these episodes, I highly encourage you to go back and check them out. They set the stage perfectly for today's discussion. For anyone new to the show, navigating through over 550 episodes might feel overwhelming, but we've got you covered. Visit passionstruck.com

Starting point is 00:02:29 slash starter packs or check out our Spotify playlist to find curated themes like mindset, personal growth, alternative health, and resilience. It's the perfect way to jump start your journey with PassionStruck. And don't forget to sign up for my live intentionally newsletter at passionstruck.com. Every week I share actionable insights, tools, and strategies to help you thrive. Plus subscribe to our YouTube channels for episode highlights and engaging content that helps you live with intention. Now let's dive into today's episode.

Starting point is 00:02:57 Here we are. It's 2025. Another year, another round of obsessing over what we did wrong, what we didn't do enough of and why we're still not the perfectly polished version of ourselves that Instagram says we should be. Sound familiar? Yeah, same here. But before you dive headfirst into another January filled with guilt-driven resolutions

Starting point is 00:03:18 and toxic productivity hacks, let's take a breath because here's the thing. Perfection is a lie and chasing it will only leave you exhausted, disappointed, and still scrolling TikTok at 2am, wondering why your life doesn't look like everyone else's highlight reel. In our last episode, I talked about a Christmas girl. You know, that story with the ghost of Christmas past, present, and future? And how it's really about one thing, mattering. It's about realizing that your life has meaning,

Starting point is 00:03:46 even if it's messy, complicated, or full of screw-ups. It's about the small ways you show up for people, and how those moments ripple outward. Now, I want to build on that idea with something the Japanese figured out centuries ago, wabi-sabi. It's a philosophy that says, hey, life is imperfect, things fall apart, and guess what? That's actually beautiful. It's about embracing the cracks instead of trying to plaster over them, finding meaning in the fleeting moments, and learning to see the value in what's

Starting point is 00:04:14 unfinished. So as we kick off 2025, let's not waste time pretending we're going to be perfect this year. Instead, let's try something better. Let's stop beating ourselves up over the messy parts of our lives. They're what make something better. Let's stop beating ourselves up over the messy parts of our lives. They're what make us human. Let's learn to appreciate the transient, fleeting moments that actually matter. And let's set goals that aren't about impressing anyone, but instead focus on what really makes us feel alive. Here's the harsh truth. No one has their shit together, not fully. And that's okay, because the cracks, the imperfections, the so-called flaws, are where the good stuff happens.

Starting point is 00:04:51 That's what Wabi Sabi is all about, and that's what this episode is going to explore. So let's stop thriving for some fake ideal of perfection, and start embracing the chaos. Because in that chaos, there's meaning, and that meaning, that's where we truly matter. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin. Here's the thing, perfection is a lie.

Starting point is 00:05:23 It's something we've all been trained to chase. This mythical state where everything we do is flawless. Everything we want is achieved and everything we are is exactly right. But life doesn't work like that. And honestly, that's a good thing. Looking back on 2024, some cracks in my year were beyond my control. Losing my sister, Carolyn, into cancer wasn't just devastating. It was a reminder that life is fragile, messy, and painfully short. Then there was Hurricane

Starting point is 00:05:50 Helene, which upended my home and forced me to start over in ways I never expected. These events left me no choice but to accept what I couldn't control, to learn from the chaos, and to focus on what truly mattered. But not all cracks come from outside ourselves. Some are the result of choices we make, or don't make. This past year, I had plans that didn't materialize, not because of circumstances, but because of my own follow-through. I wanted to learn Spanish, but my consistency wavered.

Starting point is 00:06:19 I told myself I'd attend Toastmasters regularly, but other priorities took over. My exercise routine started strong and then slowly fell apart. These cracks weren't inevitable. They were moments where I could have done better, but didn't. At first, these cracks, whether imposed on me or created by my own actions, looked like failures. But as I reflect, I see something different. I see resilience in the way I navigated what I couldn't control.

Starting point is 00:06:46 I see effort in the plans I attempted, even if they didn't unfold perfectly. And I see lessons in the imperfections, reminders that growth doesn't require perfection. It requires showing up, trying, and caring. Whether the cracks were forced upon me or the result of my own choices, they all taught me something valuable. Your cracks are not something to fix or hide. They're golden seams that give your life depth, authenticity, and meaning. Wabi Sabi gets this. It's about stepping back and saying, okay, this isn't what I planned. It's not perfect, but maybe it doesn't need to be. It's about

Starting point is 00:07:20 finding beauty in the cracks, in the mess and chaos, because that's where the growth happens. Think about it. When was the last time you grew as a person because everything was easy and perfect? Probably never. Take a moment and reflect on the hardest parts of 2024. The mistakes, the things that didn't go as planned, the moments when you thought, what the hell is even happening right now? Now ask yourself, what did those moments teach me?

Starting point is 00:07:45 How did they shape me? What did they reveal about who I am and what matters most to me? The truth is, we matter not because we're perfect, but because we're real. The cracks in our lives are proof that we've lived, that we've tried, and that we've cared. And that's worth more than any picture-perfect version of success. So as we move into 2025, I'm challenging you and myself to stop chasing this idea of perfection. Instead, let's own our cracks. Let's embrace the fact that life is messy and unpredictable. Let's find meaning in the chaos and beauty in the imperfection. Because when you stop trying to make everything perfect, you free yourself to focus on what really matters.

Starting point is 00:08:26 Growth, connection, and living with purpose. The cracks aren't flaws. They're features. They're what make you human and in a world obsessed with perfection, that's a damn good thing. All right, so we've reflected on the cracks of the past, the moments that shaped us despite their messiness. Now, let's turn to the future. It's 2025 and you probably have goals, dreams, and things you want to achieve. How do you approach them without falling back into the same old trap of chasing perfection? Here's the key. Set imperfect goals. Goals that are rooted in purpose and intention, not improving something to yourself or worse to other people. Think about it.

Starting point is 00:09:05 How often have you set a goal? Not because it was meaningful, but because it looked good on paper. Maybe it was losing a certain amount of weight, hitting a specific income milestone, or landing that promotion. But halfway through the year, you realize you didn't actually care about the goal itself. What you really wanted was to feel confident, secure, or fulfilled. The goal was just a placeholder for something deeper. This is where Wabi Sabi can change the game.

Starting point is 00:09:30 Instead of aiming for the perfect end result, focus on the process. Set goals that allow room for imperfection, growth, and discovery along the way. Here's how to do it. First, make your goals flexible. Life is unpredictable, and rigid goals are a recipe for frustration. Instead of saying, I'm going to read 52

Starting point is 00:09:50 books this year, try, I want to spend more time learning and reflecting through reading. This way, your goal adapts to your life, not the other way around. Second, focus on what matters. Ask yourself, why does this goal matter to me? If you don't have a compelling reason, it's probably not worth your time. Wobby Sabby is about finding meaning in the things that truly resonate with you, not the stuff you think you're supposed to care about. Third, embrace progress over perfection. Every step forward counts, even if it's messy.

Starting point is 00:10:19 Maybe you miss a week at the gym or screw up a big project at work. So what? The goal isn't to avoid mistakes, it's to learn from them and keep moving. Fourth, celebrate the long game. We live in a world obsessed with instant results, but the best things in life take time. Whether it's a career goal, a creative project,

Starting point is 00:10:37 or personal growth, focus on building something that lasts. Success isn't about quick wins, it's about creating something meaningful. Here's an example from my own life. My book Passionstruck came out last year, and let me tell you, writing it was just the beginning of the challenge. Marketing it? That was a whole different beast, far more difficult than I expected. And if my goal had been to hit a bestseller list, I probably would have driven myself insane. But that wasn't my goal. My goal was to create something that could stay on the test of time. Something with a long tail that would continue to resonate with readers years from now. I wasn't chasing a fleeting moment of glory. I was focused

Starting point is 00:11:13 on creating lasting impact. And you know what? That mindset made all the difference. It gave me the freedom to focus on what truly mattered, connecting with my audience and sharing the book's message, without getting bogged down by arbitrary benchmarks or external validation. What I've learned is this. Life doesn't demand perfection. It demands presence. It's in the messy, unfinished moments that we connect, grow, and find what truly matters. This is what Wabi Sabi teaches us, to focus on the process, to embrace imperfection and to find meaning in what we're building,

Starting point is 00:11:45 even if it doesn't look exactly how we thought it would. So as you think about your goals for 2025, ask yourself, what cracks am I willing to embrace in this process? How can I focus on the long-term value instead of the short-term payoff? Imperfect goals aren't failures. They're freedom. Freedom to try, to fail, and to grow. So let's make 2025 the year we stop striving for perfect

Starting point is 00:12:10 and start striving for purpose. Because when you focus on what really matters, the cracks become part of the masterpiece. So we've reflected on the past and talked about setting imperfect goals for the future. But here's the thing, the real growth, the real work happens in the present. As spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle emphasizes, realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.

Starting point is 00:12:35 Make the now the primary focus of your life. Life isn't waiting for you to get everything perfectly aligned before it starts throwing curveballs your way. Even with the best of intentions, things don't always go as planned. And that's exactly where Wabi Sabi shines. Here's the deal. Life doesn't care about your spreadsheets,

Starting point is 00:12:54 your vision boards, or your perfectly crafted five-year plan. It's messy, it's chaotic, and no matter how much you try to control it, you're gonna hit roadblocks, detours, and moments where you wonder if you're even on the right track. But instead of fighting that mess,

Starting point is 00:13:08 what if you leaned into it? What if you looked at that mess not as something to fix, but as something to learn from? Wabi Sabi teaches us to see imperfections, impermanence, and incompleteness as opportunities for growth and connection. It challenges us to stop clinging

Starting point is 00:13:24 to some ideal version of how things should be and instead embrace what is. Here's how to take this mindset into your present and find meaning in the mess. First, reflect on your imperfections. Let's start with the hard stuff, the moments in 2024 that didn't go the way you hoped. Maybe a project fell through,

Starting point is 00:13:44 a relationship hit a rough fell through, a relationship hit a rough patch, or a personal goal felt like it slipped further away. Instead of seeing those moments as failures, Wabi Sabi invites you to ask, what did I learn? How did this help me grow? For me, one of the biggest lessons came from marketing my book. There were moments when I felt stuck, unsure I was making an impact. But those challenges forced me to get crystal clear on what mattered. Creating something meaningful that would last. The so-called imperfections weren't failures, they were feedback.

Starting point is 00:14:13 So stop chasing perfection and start owning your cracks. Because they're not just part of your story, they're where the story truly begins. So here's what you can do. Grab a journal and write about one moment from 2024 that didn't go as planned. What did you learn? How did it shape your perspective or your approach to life?

Starting point is 00:14:32 The goal isn't to sugarcoat the experience, it's to find the lessons hiding in the cracks. The second step is to embrace life's impermanence. Here's a truth we all resist. Nothing lasts forever. The wins, the losses, the goals we hit, and the ones we didn't. They're all temporary. Wabi Sabi invites us to accept this reality instead of clinging to it or trying to control

Starting point is 00:14:55 it. When you let go of the need for permanence, you make space for something new. Ask yourself, what am I holding onto that no longer serves me? What can I let go of to create room for growth? For me, letting go meant releasing the pressure to achieve short-term results and trusting in the long game. It wasn't about hitting a bestseller list, it was about creating a book that would resonate for years to come.

Starting point is 00:15:16 Wabi Sabi reminds us that life's beauty isn't in its perfection, but in its impermanence, its incompleteness, and its cracks. So here's what you can do. Make a list of things you're ready to let go of, whether it's old goals, habits, or expectations. Consider how letting go of these attachments can make space for something new and more aligned with who you are now. And then third, find meaning in incompleteness.

Starting point is 00:15:40 Life is a work in progress, and so are you. Wabi Sabi reminds us that incompleteness isn't failure, it's an opportunity. When you stop obsessing over tying up every loose end, you start appreciating the journey itself. Ask yourself, what areas of my life feel incomplete, and how can I appreciate them for what they are? For me, marketing my book wasn't about achieving some perfect endpoint. It was about connecting with readers, sharing the message, and trusting the process.

Starting point is 00:16:07 Every conversation, every new reader, every small win, it's all mattered, even if the end wasn't neatly tied up. So here's what you can do. Look at the areas of your life that feel unfinished. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on making small, intentional steps forward. Progress over perfection. Reflect on how these unfinished chapters contribute to your larger story. When you start to see your imperfections,

Starting point is 00:16:31 the impermanence of life, and the incompleteness of your journey as features, not flaws, you unlock a whole new way of looking at the year ahead. Wabi Sabi isn't about pretending everything's fine or letting yourself off the hook. It's about working with the mess, finding meaning in it, and realizing that the cracks are what make the picture whole.

Starting point is 00:16:50 And here's the best part. Those cracks, those messy, imperfect moments, aren't just about your own growth. They're also how you show others they matter. How you create connection, foster understanding, and leave an impact that goes far beyond yourself. As you move into 2025, remember this. You don't have to fix every crack or smooth over every imperfection. The cracks aren't flaws. They're proof of life, of effort, of progress.

Starting point is 00:17:16 They're where the light gets in and where the connections happen. Because in the end, it's not about perfection. It's about showing up, embracing your humanity, and living a life that truly matters. And if you wanna take these lessons and apply them in a bigger way, I've created a guide for you that goes with this episode. You can find it at the end of the episode show notes.

Starting point is 00:17:38 So throughout this episode, we've explored how Wabi Sabi helps us reflect on the past, embrace the present, and set intentions for the future. But the cracks in your life aren't just about personal growth. They're also where you create meaning and connection with others. Wabi Sabi teaches us that we matter not because we're perfect, but because we're human. It's in the imperfect, unpolished moments that we forge the deepest bonds and leave the most lasting impact.

Starting point is 00:18:02 The truth is, you don't need to fix every crack or smooth over every imperfection to matter. You just need to show up, as you are. Let's explore how embracing this philosophy can deepen your relationships, your growth, and your sense of self. So let's first talk about mattering in relationships. We all want to matter to the people in our lives, to feel seen, valued, and connected. But real connection doesn't come from trying to be perfect.

Starting point is 00:18:25 It comes from showing up, flaws in all. Think about it, the heartfelt apology after a fight, the laugh you shared over something completely ridiculous, the moment you admitted you didn't have it all together and let someone else step in to help. These aren't picture perfect moments, but they're the glue that holds relationships together. They're what makes people feel seen, value, and loved. Wabi Sabi reminds us that it's these small, imperfect moments that often matter most.

Starting point is 00:18:50 Not grand gestures or flawless execution, but the quiet ways we show up for one another. So here's what you can do. Reflect on one imperfect moment that's strengthened a relationship this past year. Ask yourself, how can I show others they matter? Not by being perfect, but by being present. Now I want to examine mattering in your growth. Let's abandon the myth that personal growth is about becoming some idealized, polished version of yourself. Growth isn't a straight line. It's messy, full of detours, setbacks, and lessons learned the hard way. But it's precisely these imperfections that make your journey meaningful.

Starting point is 00:19:26 Wabi Sabi teaches us that the cracks in our stories are not flaws to hide, but essential parts of our unique value. They're the golden seams that hold our experiences together, adding depth and authenticity to who we are. Think about the struggles you faced last year. Maybe you didn't reach a goal, or you hit a wall that forced you to pivot.

Starting point is 00:19:43 These moments didn't diminish your value, they defined it. They're proof that you're evolving, learning, and becoming more resilient. So here's what you can do. Reflect on a setback from last year that ended up teaching you something important. Then ask yourself, how can I honor the messy parts of my journey as necessary steps toward growth? And now let's look at mattering in reflection. When we reflect on the year, it's tempting to focus on the big wins or milestones that

Starting point is 00:20:08 seem worth celebrating. But Wabi Sabi reminds us that meaning often lies in the unfinished, imperfect moments we tend to overlook. Think about the small ways you showed up for others, even when it felt like they weren't enough, the kind words you offered when someone needed them most, the effort you made even when you felt like giving up. These moments of honesty and vulnerability often leave the biggest impact, not just on others, but on you. Sometimes it's in admitting, I don't have it all

Starting point is 00:20:33 figured out, that you allow others to see the humanity in you and feel less alone themselves. These cracks in your story, however unpolished, are where true connection happens. So here's what you can do. Reflect on one imperfect moment from 2024 that created a meaningful connection or left a lasting impression. Maybe it's something that didn't feel significant at the time, but in hindsight had a ripple effect on someone else's life or your own. Ask yourself, how have my struggles, vulnerabilities, or unfinished moments allowed me to connect more deeply with others?

Starting point is 00:21:06 When you think about mattering, really think about it. It's not about monumental achievements or being flawless. It's about the quiet, imperfect ways you touch the lives of others. It's about the ways your cracks make space for others to bring their whole, imperfect selves into the world. As you step into 2025, let Wabi Sabi remind you that you don't have to have it all together to make a difference. You don't need to fix every crack or smooth over every flaw to matter. You just need to show up, as you are, cracks and all. Because in the end, the cracks aren't just where the light gets in. They're where the story unfolds,

Starting point is 00:21:42 where growth happens, and where you truly matter. Here we are, standing at the beginning of 2025, with the past behind us, the present unfolding around us, and the future stretching out ahead. As you take your first steps into the new year, remember what we've uncovered together. Life's beauty doesn't lie in perfection. It's in the cracks, in the messy, unfinished, and fleeting moments that shape us, connect us, and remind us of what truly matters. Looking back at 2024, your cracks were your teachers.

Starting point is 00:22:10 They revealed your resilience, your strength, and your ability to adapt when things didn't go as planned. They weren't detours from the story. They were the story. Every challenge, every misstep, every unfinished chapter taught you something about who you are and what you value. In the present, those cracks are your companions. They remind you to stay rooted in the here and now, to embrace the chaos instead of resisting it,

Starting point is 00:22:32 and to find meaning in the moments where nothing feels quite complete. They ask you to show up authentically, not perfectly, for yourself and for the people who matter most. These moments of presence, flawed and real, are where connection lives. And as you look to the future, the cracks offer a gift, the freedom to let go of the impossible pursuit of perfection. They challenge you to set goals that reflect your deepest values, to lean into progress over perfection, and to trust that the journey, with all its imperfections, is enough. The future doesn't demand that you be flawless. It asks only that you keep moving forward, one imperfect step at a time. So as you move into 2025, my invitation to

Starting point is 00:23:13 you is this. Stop striving to smooth over the cracks. Instead, embrace them. Let them remind you that life isn't perfect, and it doesn't need to be. Let them guide you as you reflect on the lessons of the past. Show up authentically in the present and dream imperfectly but boldly about the future because the cracks aren't just where the light gets in, they're where you shine. And that's a wrap on today's episode and on our first solo episode of 2025. I hope this exploration of wabi-sabi, imperfection, and mattering has inspired you to approach the new year with a fresh perspective and renewed purpose. If today's message resonated with you, I'd deeply appreciate it if you could take a moment

Starting point is 00:23:53 to leave a 5-star rating and review. It's one of the most impactful ways to help others discover the show and join us on this journey of intentional living and growth. If you know someone who might benefit from this episode, maybe someone striving for perfection or struggling to embrace life's imperfections, please share it with them. Together we can spread these transformative ideas and create a ripple effect of positive change. As we kick off this new year, I'm excited to continue bringing you content that inspires, challenges, and equips you to live a life of intention and impact. If you're looking to

Starting point is 00:24:22 bring these principles into your team, organization, or community, I'd love to partner with you on keynote speeches, workshops, or events. Visit johnrmiles.com slash speaking to learn more about how we can work together to ignite purpose and growth in 2025. For links, resources, and exercises from today's discussion, head to the show notes at passionstruck.com.

Starting point is 00:24:42 Don't forget to watch the video version of this episode on our YouTube channels. And while you're there, hit subscribe so you'll never miss an episode or highlight. Supporting the show is easy. Check out our sponsors and exclusive deals at passionstruck.com slash deals. It's a great way to support those who support us and keep this content coming to you every week. Before we go, here's a preview of next week's episode. I'll be joined by Max Lugavere, a leading voice in nutrition and brain health.

Starting point is 00:25:06 Max will share his groundbreaking insights on optimizing your mind and body for the year ahead and we also get into his new documentary on Alzheimer's disease. You don't want to miss it. The fact that I could start to implement whether dietary or lifestyle interventions in my own life that might not with a hundred percent certainty prevent me from ever developing a condition like Alzheimer's disease or Parkinson's disease, but could according to the best available evidence lower or minimize my risk for these conditions. Well, that was a really powerful call to action for me. What if I could get this information out to the public at large that, hey,

Starting point is 00:25:40 these conditions which we tend to assume are inevitable, there are some natural aspects of aging or inherited, if none of those are in fact the case and we can actually take steps today to improve our odds 10, 20, 30 years down the line, well then that was something that I felt really inspired to do. Thank you for choosing to spend your time with me today. Your commitment to learning, growing,

Starting point is 00:26:03 and living the life that matters inspires me every single day. I hope this episode has added value to your journey and reminded you that mattering isn't something to wait for, it's something you create. And remember, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value here, share it with someone who might benefit.

Starting point is 00:26:17 Until next time, keep leaning into joy, curiosity, and purpose. And as always, live Life, Passion Strut.

Passion Struck with John R. Miles - Own Your Cracks: Embrace Wabi-Sabi to Grow Into What Matters | EP 555

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