Patriots Dynasty Podcast - 2001 Week 15: Patriots vs Dolphins

Episode Date: May 12, 2020

Steve wants to sell his spot to the highest bidder, Greg graces us with his presence (eventually), Mike talks about growing up on the mean streets of Lawrence, MA.And there's some talk about a very important game for the lead in the AFC East. And kickers. This one is all over the map.Also, let us know what you think of this podcast: https://ratethispodcast.com/patspodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/patriots-dynasty-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is Christine Brown, and while I have to listen to this podcast as my motherly duty, you have the choice not to. My sons, and of course Michael, sometimes say some naughty things when they're trying to be funny. But really, they're just being stupid. You still want to listen? Go right ahead. I am not your mother.

Welcome to week 15, episode 15 of the Patriots Dynasty podcast. Going back and we're still in the 2001 season, getting towards the end of the regular season, boys. How you feeling? Good. It's been a marathon. Yeah. You see it still with me so far?

Well, every so often. Sure. That's true. Yeah. Mike Morrison has been here pretty much every week. Yeah. I don't think me and Greg have both been on one for like five weeks. Fuck.

I think you're right. Yeah. We had a couple weeks ago, didn't we? Ah, fucking. I don't know. Just trying to hold down the fort here. Yeah. What will we do without you, Mike?

I mean, you've done it a couple of times already. Yeah. I think you'll be just fine. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Don't let him hear you say that. That's true. Now you've gone and done it.

Yeah. Stevie hates you already. That's fine. He's going to keep poking that bear. I mean, it's like one of my favorite pastimes is poking bears. Should he try to maybe butter you up a little bit? Oh, that might work. Buttering your bribery.

All right. Yeah. I mean, Steve does have a history of like his pastime being the angry people for fun and theoretically profit, but I don't think you actually make any money off it to you. Well, unless Conor wants to pay me like $10,000 for the spot. Oh, wow. Conor is on the record now. You know, the offer is there.

Yeah. We'll have to see what his response is. I'm also interested. All right. Well, that's quite a start. In fact, if you want to pay any of us $10,000, any one of you out there can have a spot on this podcast. We're not too proud.

I'll give it up for an episode for sure. Oh, yeah. I'll just for one episode. You got $10,000 in episode. Oh, wait. $10,000 for the entire thing. Are you kidding me? I don't know.

We're worth more than that, baby. Okay. I mean, at least someone's got to make money on this podcast. This has been a roller coaster so far for me. We're all over the map. Good luck. How has it been, you know, wrangling this whole thing and putting it together? I mean, you do a little bit more work than the rest of us, I guess.

It's been a lot, but it's fine. I just don't eat lunch at work anymore. I sit there and I read the Boston Globe archives instead. Well, that shows commitment because my sources tell me that Greg didn't show up today because he is eating right now. He's eating right now. Yeah. I don't think you could make the podcast.

Oh, that's important. Yeah, I can see how you would skip something like this for eating. Right. But you game-playing ahead of time, so that props to you. Yeah, I do tend to eat before we record this Thursday nights at 8 p.m. Right. I mean, eating at 8 p.m. for me is too late anyway, so I don't know what his problem is. But, I mean, to be fair, he didn't pull the Steve Brown and just leave halfway through to start making dinner.

Hey, that was one time. Hey, Tom, that's Steve. To the bar. All right. Well, in that case, changed the whole thing. All right. Well, speaking of drinking, let's get in this football game. All right.

Yeah, so this is actually one that I was excited like going into it, looking forward to it, because this was the Dolphins coming to visit Foxborough Stadium. The last game, the last regular season game regardless at Foxborough Stadium, and they had a whole shindig around it, which we'll get into. But the Dolphins who had beat the piss out of the Patriots earlier in the season, I believe that was just a me and Mike game. Is that right, Mike? It's all blur at this point.

A long time ago. I think it was just you and me on that one. And I believe at the end of it, we said it was a game that we would be fine never watching again. Oh, that one. Yeah. I remember it fun. Yeah. All I can really remember is Brady fumbling the ball and having it kick back in the end

zone for Dolphins touchdown and Troy Brown fumbling the punt because it was the only mistake he's made this season. Yep. But this game, it would be different. Yeah. They were the ones who were fumbling kicks. That's true. Yeah.

There's a whole bunch of shit going on. But just to kind of recap like we did before, I talked about the Dolphins a bit, but we'll go over it again. This was the game for the AFC, the lead in the AFC East. And of course, Patriots were not spilling anything saying that they win this game because everybody knows at this point how this goes. But the Dolphins would actually finish 11 and five and also still make the playoffs along with the jets from the AFC East.

So all three of those guys will make the playoffs this year. If you remember a couple of weeks ago, the Patriots also beat the Jets. So they were kind of sitting pretty in the driver's seat at this point. And there was a whole bunch of talk about playoff predictions and all this stuff. And they won four straight at this point? I believe, yeah. I believe this is win number four in a row to just about finish out the season. The Dolphins, like we said, make the playoffs, but they lose in the wild card to the Ravens

because they obviously don't win the division. They lost this game and that puts them a game behind. Head coach is Dave Wonstad. We've talked about the man in the myth, the mustache. Let's see. He actually played the Patriots tough again. It's just recap. He went four and five against New England, but he actually lost the last four of those games.

So he started off strong and faded down the stretch. I wonder, I wonder. I know he had a terrible season the year after this, but I wonder why he never really had another shot again because his record wasn't too bad overall. It's true. Yeah. He was this year in the year before he was both 11 and five and they made the playoffs and then nine and seven and 10 and six the two years after that, which is still pretty good.

All right. Yeah. So he did better than I thought. Yeah. But then in 04, he started off one and eight before he got fired. I'm pretty sure. Oh, that's what it was. And I think he went to college and he was coaching.

He was coaching Pitt, I think. Yeah. I don't know if he was the coach at the time that Dion Lewis was there, but I know Dion Lewis was from Pitt. I'm not sure if they overlapped it up. But if they did, yeah, juicy fact. Stat check. We don't are stacked.

Disregard. God damn it. All right. Quarterback was Jay Fiedler. Fiedler on the roof that we talked about a few times because me and Mike talked about him during the game. And then we talked about him again in week, I would say six when Gregory watched the wrong game and had a whole page of Jay Fiedler notes.

Mike, I don't think you were there for that, but Jay Fiedler was voted. I can't remember the exact specifics, but he was the second best Jewish quarterback in the history of football. Oh, wow. Wait a minute. I know Brigham Young, Steve Young, number one. No, actually. I don't know if he's Jewish, but I know he went to Brigham.

It was Sid Luckman, I believe it was. Right. Spicy. Yeah. So, yeah, so Greg had a whole bunch of Jewish factor on Jay Fiedler because apparently that's what he was known for was being Jewish and being good at football, according to Greg. Interesting. Yeah.

I thought he was really good in this game, surprisingly. Yeah. I think he threw for like 300 yards and didn't throw pick. Yeah. And was kind of the only thing that they had going for them on offense. And he finished the season pretty good. He had three, just over 3,000 yards and 20 touchdowns, 19 interceptions, so kind of about the same.

But I believe he actually outplayed Peyton Manning in this season, which is hard to say. You know, I was looking at the reception ratio. What's that? In terms of like these like touchdown and deception ratios, I feel like even though it's pretty jarring looking at this now, I feel like for that era, it was kind of the norm a little bit. Yeah. Like all these guys that were pretty well known and at the top of the league had a ton.

And then there's a drop off. So now like the it's kind of normal to see a guy throw eight picks a year, right, which used to be crazy. Why do you think that is? Is it because of the lacks rules or are people just getting better? Yeah. I think the rules have definitely shifted to focus more on the offense, especially in the passing game with the lack of contact that defensive backs can have nowadays and how much

things get negated by penalty and all that sort of stuff, especially like defensive holding penalties and passing affairs and all that. So that focus, I think has skewed the interception numbers, but I also think that offenses have got more creative with the short passing game is what it seems like to me. So they're throwing, I mean, just look at true reason is 70 something percent completion percentage every year now, and he's throwing these really accurate short passing games that I kind of Brady and the the Patriots offense kind of, it felt like they started. Yeah.

I suppose you probably go back to like the Joe Montana West Coast offense days as well a little bit. But I think with all these like wide receiver bubble screens and those quick short passes that almost replaced the running game, the Patriots kind of took the heart and ran with. But going back to your point, Mike Brady, even in this year, you know, the guy who you don't think of as throwing in his options was 18 touchdowns, 12 interceptions on the season. Right.

So he was almost like one to one as well. And this was considered a good year for quarterback the way he played. Yeah. No, it's interesting. I mean, yeah, I was just looking at that. And I mean, you have like a guy like golf who's like putting up crazy numbers and people nowadays are like, I don't know if he's like that great of a quarterback or whatever. So it is.

It is interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think that even that season, when the Rams went to the Super Bowl, that Rams offense, I think was like a top 10 scoring offense of all time, like in the history of the NFL and people so like, yeah, I don't know if golf is that good. Yeah. Right.

Because both the Chiefs and the Rams were both top 10 all time offenses that season, which is why they played that game against each other. And it was like 54-53 or something. Yeah. It was crazy. It was nuts. I will say though that Breeze, you got to give him props though, because I know he's doing the short game, but I mean, he'll throw the long ones in here and there still.

Oh, yeah. I think he's done four years in a row of over 70% I was reading. So it's something like that. Yeah. Something pretty insane. Where for comparison, Drew Bledsoe's completion percentage in 2001 was 63.9%. That's actually higher than I thought. I know.

Yeah. Drew Bledsoe's for comparison was 60.6. All right. But the one passer on here who had the highest passer rating, which I think will actually segue well into what we can talk about next is Kevin Falk, 100% completion percentage, and from 1 for 23 yards, let's talk about his passer rating, if you will, because I think this was the, you could probably say that even though it was early, it was the kind of turning point of the game it felt like to me.

What did you think, Steve? For sure. I mean, was it not the same play as in Philly Super Bowl we lost? It looked like it to the opposite side of the field, and that spoiler alert might be the worst part of this game for me, because it reminded me of what Steve was talking about. It brought back memories. Yeah. Because I actually had a similar feeling because I saw it.

So we'll just set it up for those who haven't actually seen it, but it was kind of, actually part of it was the direct snap to Kevin Falk that we've seen more than I remember this season especially. That's a statement. Yeah. In this season, it really is. I mean, you see them pull it out like even the Falcons Super Bowl, yeah, as last one I can remember, the direct snap to the running back out of the shotgun, but in this case,

it was, yeah. Can you see how I curl wet by Brady in the air to sell it? Yeah. Exactly, yeah. Brady will jump like the ball went over his head and doesn't fool anybody. So we did that, and Kevin Falk got the ball and started like running a sweep to his right, and then stopped and threw it back to Brady on the left side of the field wide open and have a quote what Brady said about this play.

Where is it, where is it? It was, oh yeah, Tom Brady on the play, he was, he was wide fucking open, had the whole half of the field to himself and it was, I turned a touchdown into a 23 yard gain, which is so Tom Brady. It wasn't pretty tough catch though. It was, yeah. He looked pretty good. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm pretty sure, correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the only time that play has ever worked. It's the only time Tom Brady's caught that ball. Well, what's his career numbers on catches? Wait a minute, didn't Trey Brown toss him one as well? Also potentially against the Dolphins or I might be mixing his games up. I can't remember another Tom Brady catch.

So I'm saying I can remember a couple or he's missed them. But yeah, I don't even remember this one before I watched his game. So let's see. He has two other catches. Yeah. I think one of them was from Troy Brown if I'm not mistaken. You might be mistaken because. All right.

Whatever. Nevermind scratching. One catch in 2015 and one in 2018. Yeah. It was the 2018 one, I'm pretty sure. The one in 2015 was for 36 yards. I don't remember this play at all. It doesn't say who it was by, but 36 yards, that's as long as it's not bad.

So yeah, he has completed twice, but I remember more recently against Tennessee that he hurt his knee on. It wasn't the same the rest of the season. Yup. It was that game. You were at that game, Steve, right? You and Greg? Yup.

Yup. That sucked. I was like, Greg, it's like fourth quarters, like three minutes left. Let's just go. No, you ought to sit here and take your licking. Real fans don't leave until the game's over regardless. That's fair. I get it.

Yup. So, but this one actually did work and it was, you know, the last drive of the first quarter, they hadn't actually scored, you know, this was the one that, yeah, this set it up. Right. And then Antoine Smith reigned it in first by the second quarter with Richard Seymour as a fullback. That's right.

Yes. Richard Seymour leading the way. But yeah, the second quarter was really all that was, it was well, the action happened, I thought, because you know, you had that touchdown that, that started literally the first play of the drive and then the pages went on to score a couple more touchdowns. And was Brady hitting his backup fullback Patrick Pass for the touchdown, which there was a quote by the commentators, did you, did either of you catch it? Is it a football or not football?

No, I don't think so. So therefore Mike didn't catch it. I got it. Although I will say Greg Gumbel and Phil Sims on this one. So I think we're kind of making a jump in what is it, popularity? Yeah, moving on up in the the ladder of competent commentators, commentation, commentation, that is a real word. But I don't know who it was that said it because I don't give a fuck.

But they basically said Patrick Pass, more like Patrick catch. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Wait a minute. Who, you know, this might be completely off base here, but I'm remembering a one of the worst fumbles I've ever seen in my life. It was a hamstring issue running back, drops the ball and Patriots fumble it away. Was that a Patrick Pass moment?

I think that was Ridley. Wasn't it? Was it really against the Bills? I don't remember. So he was like running with the ball and like strange as hamstring and just drop the ball. Just drop it. Instead of just going to the ground, he just drops the ball. I don't know. We might be thinking about different. Was it against the Bills?

I think it might have been Ridley also like a run up the middle. I'm going to lift this up. I want to say as Ridley, if that's why Patrick Pass stuck out of my mind. So if that's wrong, oh, all right, maybe, you know, good for him. Literally, the only Patrick Pass highlight I remember is this specific touchdown. Get out of here. Yeah, I don't know why. But every time I hear Patrick Pass, this is the play that comes to mind.

I don't know why this stuck out of my mind. It definitely is Patrick Pass pulling a hammy. Is it really? Yeah, 2005. Oh, shit. You're going to have to post that in chat so we can all watch it and comment. Yeah. So when we get to that game, we'll revisit this. Oh, all right.

Yeah, that sounds fantastic. Something that's forward to. Is that who I think it is? Oh, OK. Did you have your nice little meal? Are you feeling better now? You got a nice little tummy. And my tummy.

I had a nice shrimp gumbo. It was delicious. Mike, you'd be proud of me. Did you know yourself? I sure did. Wow. Did you turn into a fine young man? I'm always proud of you. A fine young woman.

Hey, he wasn't saying that about you when you weren't here. What? You try. I don't remember what I said. I'm going to have to just plead the fifth on this one. I apologize if I said anything. We can play the tape if you want, Greg. I'm sure we can get it back for you.

Look, it's all everything's a blur, Greg. It's all it's all for fun. It's all for black. So does blacks out as soon as he logs into this. It's a freaking condition, dude. You're a condition. It starts bringing up how we grew up in Lawrence and tough guy shit. Tough guy shit.

Lawrence, Massachusetts, man. All right, it's it's it ain't it ain't, you know, Salem, New Hampshire. OK, I am not putting down Salem, New Hampshire either. I'm just saying that's what I'm saying. Old New Ballgame. All right. Sounds nice.

And I made it out of that town. And my parents are Portuguese, bro. So, I mean, it was a lot. So tough, Jesus, so tough. You're giving me flashbacks here. Oh, do share. It was your yeah, give us your favorite Lawrence moment. My favorite Lawrence moment.

I learned most memorable. I would say I learned how to break out slash sneak out because babysitter would lock us on the porch to keep us contained. And because she was really good at what she was doing. And at eight years old, I learned how to I came up with this way to get off of the porch and kind of just do my thing on my own. And she wouldn't check on us for like five hours.

So every day I would kind of sneak out of the the apartment. And I taught my my sister and cousins how to do this. And we just kind of frolicked at eight years old through the street. Lawrence. It was great. What was that? Yeah, just raising how? Um, I don't know.

I mean, that we we we learned a lot, but I don't know if I did much of the hell raising myself. But it was good times, you know, fond memories. And, you know, she's the best. She's still with us, by the way. So. Oh, your sister or the babysitter? The babysitter. Oh, OK. Good, I guess.

Yeah, she was. Yeah, she's still babysitting. She's not. I did see her recently. She went back to Portugal. OK. She's doing fine. She she had a little bit of a problem with the drink when she took care of us as well. So I think that's gotten better. So good for her. You know, I'm I'm proud of her.

There are a lot of people today. You are, aren't you? Just just sharing that pride. I love it. When was the first time you broke out of your house, Andy? Um, just now tonight, I'm recording this. This is some pirated shit. I'm recording it in the passenger seat of my car. Oh, shit. That's why you sound so good.

I know. The acoustics in here, they're great. Anybody else have a sneaking out story? No, mom just let us do whatever we want. I know your mom's your mom's pretty cool. So you do whatever you want. I got one with the house. We grew up and had a loft bedroom.

So it's like climb up a little ladder in the loft. There was like a little attic space. These pull off the door and you can get to like the, you know, the water heater and all that crap. And of course, we just smoke weed in there because it was perfect, you know, just set up. Yeah. You'd like blow the ash into the insulation. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Perfect. It's healthy. You're good. But then they had to go up there to check on something at one point. Like a contract there and they like climb up and I can open the door to it. And like there's like a lawn chair and a bean bag. Oh, wow.

Dad. He's pissed about the lawn chair because it was her favorite one. Well, I was going to say, what was she like? She seems like she would be kind of like understanding of the whole situation. Yeah. Well, and I was the I was the youngest of the four. So by that time, she'd given up on like raising giving up all hope on Greg. Well, explains a lot really.

Yeah. And I came back freshman year of college for like winter break. We were smoking up there and mama like we're like, I don't know, we're just being real idiots. But like, yeah, no one will be able to hear us or smell this blunt. Open the loft and mom was like, it's a bread of our bedroom. So she's like, what are you doing up there? Oh, man.

I would come down. He goes, what are you doing up there? We were like, nothing. She goes, what are you doing? Has she ever done has she ever heard Corey? I was. Yeah. Has she ever done that herself? Do you think?

No. No. Wow. What smoked up in the loft now? No, smoked up in general. But kids, I think, probably should. She said when she was a teenager. Yeah. Yeah. She was a bit of a wild child, I guess. So we've been told we'll find out from her when we eventually have her on the podcast.

I'm not going to put words in my brown's mouth. That's fair. Wow. I was speaking of hi. Let's talk about some of these kickoffs in the second quarter. Well, I want to see what Mike has to say about the punting. Well, I thought that Miami's punting was atrocious.

So bad. So bad. I mean, I think one of them traveled like 10 or 15 yards. I think it was 16. Oh, OK. 16 on the stat sheet. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Pretty, pretty rough. You have it here.

Miami drove to the 50 and punted from the 50 and the Pat started at their own 34. Yeah. No, it was not pretty. The whole kicking game was interesting, though, because I was writing. It was. I mean, the first one, the military kicks into the end zone. And I commented, you know, I wrote like a note that like that was insane because we haven't seen that all year that actually bounced into the end zone.

But then they all started to kind of land. Every kickoff was landing at the 30 or 40. And I was like, what the hell is going on? But I started picking up on I think the announcers touched on this a little bit that I think they were using the sun to the their advantage to kind of create issues. Yeah, I couldn't tell if it was the sun or if it was like a wind issue, too, because it did seem to be time to I think the kickoffs were.

I don't think I don't think the 16 yard punt was right. Right. That was terrible. But it felt like every time they were kicking from right to left is when the Patriots were doing the short kickoffs and the puns for it were failing. Because it was the dolphins punting in the first quarter when they were going that direction is when the two bad puns were. And then as soon as the Patriots scored was in the second quarter. And that's when they started in the kickoffs, which we hadn't

only ever seen the first one. But yeah, they were doing these like, like you said, really high kickoffs that would land at the like the jets. Excuse me, the just the dolphins, like 30, 35 yard line. And one of those I think you might be right that maybe the sun did play into it because you could tell that the guys were having trouble fielding it. Because one there they're supposed to be blocking anyway,

so they're not used to fielding kicks. But then to it also looked like they were struggling with either the wind or the sun. It was hard to tell. So is it one of those things where I'm viewing it as like, oh, Belichick is a genius. Of course, he came up with this and your maybe bringing to the table that it was coincidental, perhaps windy. I think it might be a bit of both.

I think Bell, I mean, the patients are playing at home. Hey, shut the fuck up. You shut up late. Idiots. Well, I do it. You can see the sun and then you can they don't use to catch the ball. It was fucking windy. Wait, you're going to know.

I don't know if everybody else is hearing this, but yeah, you're your audio sucks. And you put words in my mouth that I wasn't actually going to say. So how about let me how about let me say it? Oh, now you won't let people talk, Andy. Well, if you shut up on time, I'll let you talk. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yo, time out with your audio sucks.

What about now? It's better. Is it better now? Yeah. All right. Back to what I was saying, Andy, you're an idiot. All right, Connor. Go ahead.

So this is the Patriots home field. I'm sure they've practiced on this. I'm sure they I'm sure they know what happens on windy days. So I'm not saying they're purposely trying to get these kicks to to lands on a specific guy who is known for not catching or some bullshit like that. But I'm pretty sure that they had something in place where if you're kicking into this end zone and the wind's blowing and we've seen punts failing that they had been in the first quarter, instead of trying

to boot into the end zone, letting the guy get a run up at it and catching it at the 25, just kick us straight up and like, basically push it so they can't return for a touchdown and make a forward guy catch it instead. I disagree. I don't care. What are you? Hey, let him let him let him let him say it on your mind, Greg. Want to hear my rebuttal?

Yeah, there was a 14 mile an hour wind and it was windy. That's it. That's strong. Right. But yeah, that's what you got, Greg. This is a podcast where anything that happens, Belichick is a genius, you know? Yeah, some. Yeah. It's just windy. That's all.

I, you know, I feel it. I was thinking that, you know, he didn't orchestrate it. But my role is definitely to play the devil's advocate in my thinking here. And you know what? Belichick's not a genius. I give thanks. Yeah, if Mike's agree with you, you know, you've done something wrong.

Well, he brings up a good point. It was the wind, dude. 14 mile an hour wind. I know it was the wind. They wanted to bring it up. I did. No, you didn't want to bring it up. I mean, I was literally the first one to bring up the wind.

No, I think he's right. I think Belichick didn't actually saw the first couple of punks get caught up. Yeah. And if you, I remember looking at their show in Romeo Cornelor, Charlie Weiss, and like they're like blocking out the sun. And there's all he's got on that. All right. Sorry, Greg, I can't do it.

I think he did it on purpose. Well, then that Turk is doing it on purpose, too. Oh, no matter. Well, I have heard that Matt Turk has been described as a genius by some folks in the league. Yeah, some people are saying, yeah, some people. I've heard people talk about Matt Turk. That's his name.

Nailed it. He's got a situation, though, you know, he already looks like a dork and then he's got that stupid, like downward angled face mask. Yeah, I think we talked about it in the first Dolphin's game. I think it was just me and Mike, though, where the top of the face mask kind of like does that little loop up, too. So he just always looks surprised,

but it's just because of his face mask. It looks like it looks like a dog that's surprised, you know, he's got it where his eyebrows are all bunched up at the top, but it's his helmet. Yeah, I hate when kickers do that. Like you already look like an idiot. You're a kicker, like just wear a regular helmet. Yeah, I don't understand it.

I kind of wish kickers would wear like linebacker helmets. You know what I mean? How intimidating would that be? Because you look at the guy like this guy never misses. Yeah, ice cold. I just love the kickers that look like jacked. I mean, there's one in every every 10 years or there's one that pops up.

Yeah, that's true. It's usually a punter, though, I feel like. Oh, that could be it. Although, Jannikowski was pretty, pretty big. He was more hefty than anything, though. All right, that's true. Was it quicker this year at the combine that was like had the most reps.

On the. Oh, on the bench press. Yeah. Oh, yeah. 25 or something ridiculous. Yeah. And did he run like some crazy 40 as well? I thought. Yeah, I think he's a pretty athlete. Yeah, that's what I. Yeah. I love to see him as like a linebacker and a kicker. Like, Vinitari player. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

You know, you save a spot for something else and you put them on the field all the time. That's not bad. I'm surprised there aren't more like hybrid kicker punters, though. I thought the same. Like, I have one guy do the both jobs. Is it that different of a skill set? I imagine it probably is.

And Mac, if you would like a word. I know. Well, yeah, that I'm curious. Somebody who's kicked balls a lot in my life. I can understand that they're different skill sets, but are they that different where you can't do both? Hmm. I mean, I always think it's funny when they have the kicker and the punter,

but then the punter or a third kicker is doing like kickoffs. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, the Patriots had started to do that, didn't they? They had Ryan Allen kicking off or something like that in certain games a couple of years ago. Maybe a couple. Yeah. Yeah. But he was always there.

They had their punter doing the kick. The kick. Yeah, right. Right. Which you see there once. So like, obviously, some people say it's like the easiest job in football is being the punter or kicker. What do you what would your preference be as far as like longevity, money, you know, how people respect you?

What position on a football team? Back up quarterback or all of them. Any position. Oh, backup quarterback for sure. Exactly. You're the most popular guy if the starter doesn't do it. If the starter is not playing well, because you're the one that everybody wants to put in,

because it's a change of pace. You don't actually have to do anything. You just stay out and hold a fucking clipboard and you're getting paid quarterback money instead of like punter money. So even as a backup, you get paid more than the starting kicker, right? They can't practice.

Yeah, the red shirt. And if you actually do get into the game and you suck, they don't expect anything from you anyway. Yeah, it's like, well, he's the backup. Fuck it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. The Patriots made a career of it.

That's true. Well, he actually starts a bunch of games. Who was it that the Chase McDaniels or someone like that who had made some ungodly money? He made like a hundred million dollars as a backup, like a career backup. Was it him? It was someone like that. There's a bunch of these guys, though,

like Matt Liner, for instance, like I still, you know, he was still playing so fairly recently. Is he still playing Matt Liner? Stat check. I don't know, but that guy's made bank, all right? And he never really did anything. Yeah.

Long snapper is a close second, though. Yeah, but that's a lot of pressure, though. Yeah, I'd rather be a punter because that's a lot of pressure. Feels like it's just like a muscle memory thing that you can nail every time. How come you have you guys seen like the trick guys, like on YouTube? Yeah.

Like, how come those guys don't don't ever make a team? I know that they get tryouts, but how come they never get signed? They suck at kicking. Yeah, because they're not very good at the actual kicking because they spent too much time practicing the. But what about like that dude that was like booming like 60 yard field goals, like one after another?

Like, does that guy ever get a shot? Pass tried him out. Yeah, I think they did actually. They tried him out this year, yeah. And they probably didn't press. Here we had us getting hurt. Yeah. Oh, damn, all right.

I mean, do most kickers just come up through like school and that's it. That's the farm system because like even a couple of kickers that I guess are entering this draft, their percentages are not that great. So how can you tell if that's going to translate into the NFL with like, you know. I'm not quite sure how that works,

but I think this year was lower overall anyway. So I don't know what the hell happened, but nobody could kick field goals this year. It seemed like. Kicker camps where they have like camps where, you know, all these like high profile prospects go and like how you perform it, that like affects your draft status more than like.

Oh, all right. No kidding. That would make sense. Yeah. Yeah, how do you guys feel about, I don't know if you guys have watched any of the XFL, but since we're talking about kickers, how do you, I know that they're trying to be

a little bit more tame this time around, but they obviously change up a lot of things. What do you think about the NFL trying out some of the stuff that they're doing? If you guys are familiar. So I've only caught bits and pieces. I know that the kickoffs are different. Right.

And that seems, I could take it or leave it. It's not a big enough difference that it makes. I mean, it seems like less people would get hurt, but it also seems like there'd be an opportunity for a big play. Well, it seems like there's less opportunity for a big play though, from the feel of it. Do you think so?

Because once they cross the threshold, it's pretty much a wide open field. Yeah, that's true, but nobody ever seems to. I know, I haven't seen it yet, but. I think I have it once and it was on a trick play. All right. But I think the extra point thing is interesting. Yeah.

No more kicking an extra point. You either get one point, which is like a play from the two yard line, two points is a five yard line and three points is a play from the 10, something like that. Yeah, something like that. That's more interesting to me. Yeah.

Yeah. I just wonder, I'm curious like, what that's going to do to the like scores? Like, is it going to make it a closer game because you could always like throw up a Hail of Mary with like a three or is it going to be that it's going to be out of hand, more blowouts? Probably the closer game,

because I feel like coaches still aren't going to go for three every time if you're scoring, you know what I mean? Just because it's hard to score from the 10, but it gives you more of a chance to actually crawl back in if you do start hitting those three point conversions. I was wondering though, like one point is from the, like you're saying the two and then two points is like from the four.

I mean, is there that much of a difference? I guess like it kind of cuts out running plays on the four. Yeah, I don't think there's that much difference. And I'm surprised more coaches don't go for it. Just go for two regardless in that situation. Yeah, I thought the same thing though. I thought like, you know, I mean, I do think that bringing back kicks on extra points

was a good idea. I think it kind of adds a little more drama, but yeah, I didn't mind that system. And same thing with like overtime rules. I mean, I know that there's, you know, overtime in the NFL, I think it's way better than it was around the 2001 season. So I think it's a lot better now where everyone at least gets a shot potentially.

But what do you think about the sort of college football XFL style? Is the XFL the same as college football? I don't actually know what they're over there. It's almost like that. It's like, I think everyone gets five possessions to try to score from like whatever yard line. And then it's kind of like a shootout type of format

where if it's tied, then they just go into sudden death. Oh, I see. I mean, I think they all end up in sudden death anyway, eventually. So it's at the end of the day, how much different is it? I think it's more about like drama and excitement and also like not hurting people. Cause like, you know, you don't want to play another 15 minutes

if everyone's exhausted, I guess. I guess. I mean, yeah, either way is fine by me to be honest. That's fair. College football crushes NFL over time. In terms of excitement. Yeah, it's way better. Yeah, I think so too.

I have a question. Oh, yes. Parties are not more female kickers in the NFL. You tell us. That's in trouble here. No, I'm just, I'm just kidding. Yeah, that's a good point, Andy. What do you think, why do you think that?

Like strength, maybe? Generally, right? If we look at how the game has evolved over the last 20 years or so, Kelly, you'll understand that when you need to kick a football, you need a lot of muscle in your leg. And, you know, with just the natural advantages that men have over women in both like bigger brains

and bigger muscles, it really makes it so that they're better kickers. I'm a little surprised you got through that as far as you did without laughing. I was thinking this when you guys were talking about the difference. Like the game has evolved a ton, like the TDI&T ratio is a good example,

but kicking really hasn't. But if you look at like percentages of like made kicks in this season versus the last season, like across the whole NFL, that's probably pretty similar. Likewise, the rest of the NFL advanced and come so far in the offensive side of things and kicking is stagnated.

I think it has gotten more accurate actually over the years. At least closer kicks have, but people are, the misses are now from like over 45 yards instead of over 35 yards. You know what I mean? Well, I'm still curious what Kelly, why do you think? Cause men are afraid that women will do their job better than them.

Now I have a question though, cause Carly Lloyd was bringing this up, right? And she's amazing, great soccer player, but she was potentially gonna be given the opportunity to try out and then she declined. She said she'd think about it, then she kind of waffled. And then she kind of said that she didn't think that she should do it.

So she's the biggest proponent right now for female kickers. So what do you think about her response? I don't agree with it, because if you gotta come out and say all that stuff and you gotta fall through. I agree. But... Typical woman.

No, here we go. Oh, hey, hey! Get him. Right now. You should just kick him right now. Oh, yes. Show them what female kickers can do. Yes.

I think I need to know more about the story because if she's saying, and maybe not because she wants to keep playing soccer and stay there, then okay, but... She said that she thinks that women can kick as well as men, but that the physical nature of getting hit by a guy of that weight and speed might not be the greatest thing. That's loosely translated,

that's what she was getting at. I mean, I think that's fair. Right. But... Here's a more interesting question, I think. Why aren't there female coaches? Isn't there one? There is no...

Well, there is now, but I mean, like a head coach, like it's taken, what, 100 years to get to this point? Well, it's systematic sexism, isn't it? I think so. Because they weren't allowed to be coaches growing up, so they didn't have the opportunity, so you're not seeing any. Similar to a lot of the tech field, too.

There's not a lot of... Right, but I think that's interesting because that takes out the physical element and I don't see any reason why that can be a possibility. In school, growing up, they're kind of shepherded towards other things just by societal norms and things like that. Are you saying, Kelly?

No, yeah. Don't you have to earn your right to get to a head coach? You do, but that's what I mean. I'm surprised that it took this long for women to have the opportunity to even climb the ladder. Mm-hmm. I'm not surprised. What was that?

I'm not surprised. It's a man-run world, come on. A white man-run world. Yeah, I guess. I know. I mean, how many non-white males are there coaching in the NFL? Well, I also think like the Rooney rule is like a joke

because the fact that they have to even instill a rule that minority coaches have to interview is ridiculous. That shouldn't even have to be a thought. It should be whoever's the best can get the job, right? Right. Why? They should make a Rooney rule for women. Like, they hit a...

A Rooney rule? A Rooney rule. Kelly, we got there at the same time. I like it. You can interview at least one woman for every head coach and job. Okay, I'm gonna go. Have fun, guys.

All right, thanks. Good talking. Bye. Bye. All right, so speaking of kicks, do you wanna talk about this kickoff in the second quarter of the Patriots Dolphins game? Oh man, this is an interesting episode.

It sure is. So what happened was we talked about it at Nausium earlier, but the Patriots doing high short kickoffs often struggle with the first one and actually fumbled the second one after the Patriots kick the field goal. So they recover that kick and then drive down and kick another field goal.

And now it's 20 to three at the half, Patriots. Oh, genius move by Vellicek. You know what? If you wanna start a Patriots Doubters podcast, you're more than welcome. Yeah. Yo, but backtracking, if there is no Rooney rule, do you think that minority coaches get an opportunity

or is it just all whites all the time? That's crazy. I mean, it's probably all whites all the time. That sucks. That's kind of what we do as a white male society. As a Portuguese man, I don't know whether that follows in, but everybody should be given an opportunity, all right?

Yeah, are you considered white or are you? It's always been a gray area. Non-white, yeah. For me in my life. It depends on the group that I'm hanging out in, I guess, and how they view me. Because I remember. I got a rebuttal.

Yeah. The percentage of black coaches or minority coaches in the NFL is roughly, it's actually slightly more than the overall population in the United States. You're talking like percentage? Yes. Oh, really?

Well, wouldn't you say that they're actually represented? I don't know. I don't know the numbers or whatever. I just know that in the last maybe 10 years, minority coaches have been given opportunities. But before that, and that's partly probably because of the Rooney rule, but before that, it was pretty much non-existent.

Yeah. And I think the other, the counter argument is you have, the players are a lot more diverse and then the most popular coach isn't, which is kind of suspect. But there are some. Same with the owners too. There's certainly more white people in America

than there are black people. So it kind of makes sense statistically that you'd have more qualified white coaches than. Yeah, but then what about like all the owners are white? And I know that that comes from money and like history and like where they came from and what opportunities they were given. But that's not like a good indication of the population.

Correct. But I guess you can't really. The Rooney rule for buying a football team. Yeah, I know. I was gonna say, I guess you can't really boot owners. That depends on how racist they are, I guess. That's true. Or if they make their employees show up in,

in jeans on Fridays or whatever the hell it was, Oh yeah. It wasn't him, Jerry Richardson, the Panthers. Wait, what? They get the old owner of the Panthers. He was kind of like a sketchy old man and a bunch of stories started to come out. So they made him sell the team.

Oh. He was making for a team Fridays. That's right, yeah. So we could look at the girls butts or something like that. What? Yeah, I think that that was like the stuff that started to come out. What is going on?

They're like, that's cool. That's cool. He's selling the team. He's selling the team. It's cool. We don't need any more of these stories. Wow. He was like, I'm buying the team.

And sure enough, he didn't. Surprise. He didn't not qualify to run an NFL team. Mark posted about that, didn't you Greg? About PDT trying to get the money together to buy the Carolina Panthers. That would have made for some good television. Like he called them the North Carolina Panthers

or something like that. He didn't even know that. Whoops. Not a great start. Yeah. Well, there is that one. The Clippers zone of the Lakers owner? We've got Clippers, yeah.

Clippers, yeah. He was super racist. Yeah. Who's senile, too? He was senile. It's true. He's also super racist. Yeah.

Also true. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what I am anymore, but I'm going to start putting down American and Azorian in the other from that one. Azorian, nice. Yeah. Not even Portuguese, just Azorian.

Well, I mean, my family's from the Azores. Nobody even knows where that is, so. I do. Danny knows. I know, right? And he's a great, great man. I actually know a lot of Azorians. Really?

Yeah. All right. Well. Somebody, Mike, the one you interviewed, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the guy that interviewed me was Azorian. You're right. Yeah, half the damn place was.

Well, I didn't like how you. Well, what was that damn place? Was it about the place? It was about the people in the place. I didn't like that. You all called Porta. How am I supposed to keep him apart? Whoa, hey, I don't like this at all, dude.

We're on some thin ice right now. Holy crap. Let's talk about the game. I'm just furious. This is all Mike's fault saying, oh, not the back track. But I know I know it's going to be two second joke. I pulled its back so well and everything. Talking about kickers.

I know. I do it. I apologize. Up in flames. That's the first time I've apologized. It's not going to be the last accurate statement. If we just do football or not football, Mike, I got a few. If you want to get to them.

Yes. Should we talk about how the game ends before you that? All right, fine. It's whatever you want, Andy. It's off the rails today. Sure is. The Patriots won 20 to 13. The only reason it was that close was because

the Dolphins scored touchdown in garbage time at the end. It was under. Also, all right, it was garbage time, but then it slowly became like not garbage time. It got very close at the end, I felt. Yeah, Pats had a chance to put this game away and they really didn't. Dolphins went around longer than that.

Pats, after after the half, just started running clock like in the third quarter, just running clock. Steve, did you watch it? Yeah, all day. I did this when I got off the airplane today. Yep. All right. So so should we ask Greg if you watched it? Oh, well, you want me to hit you with a quote?

Yeah, hit me with a quote from your binder, of course. When the guy said Patrick Pass was Patrick Catch on his touchdown. Yeah, we talked about that before we jumped on him. But that still proves my point that I watched it, right? Because there was no highlights on the YouTube machine. Yeah, this game didn't exist on the Internet.

Exactly. So the only way I would have known that quote is if I actually clicked on the link and watched the whole game. That's fair. Although it was written about in the Boston Globe, right? After I actually looked and it was like the second quarter was all the touchdowns. So I watched the second quarter. That's one way to do it.

But you miss you missed the Brady play. The throwback. And I saw that I saw that. OK, all right, good. Well, yeah, the end of the game, though, is getting a little bit too close for comfort. And this was like a must win, essentially. They had to win the division the following week.

They had to win that game, too, right? So it was all down to the wire. And for some reason, for a game that was a blowout in the last eight minutes, I think it got pretty close. I mean, it went down to a onside kick and the Dolphins. Dude, that was like for an unsuccessful kick. That looked like one of the best onside kicks I've seen. It was well executed, but it was before.

I should know this. This was the first time I remember seeing the Patriots do their patented onside kick recover, where they have all the guys on the side, but everybody, except for one, goes and blocks. And then the one guy, the hands guy has to catch it. Oh, it's genius. But hands guy.

It's Fred Coleman. Fred Coleman, right? Who has had a big play against the jet. His only catch. And this was his only other play of the season. And he caught it and he got lit the fuck up by the backup, like defensive end or something like that. Some huge dude had a running start and just crushed him.

You think they would put Patrick catch back there for the hands team? Oh, I don't know. We'll revisit him in 2005, believe me. Mike Scott thoughts. Yeah. So back to the rules change. What do you guys think of that instead of the onside kick

doing that fourth and 17? I'm tired because at this point, nobody recovers onside. I know. It's kind of a lame thing. Fourth and 17 sound a lot. I'm fine with it, yeah. I think it's cool. It's better than what it is now.

Yeah, for sure. I mean, because how many games can you remember like against the Saints or against Cleveland most recently, where Patriots recovered it? And it's a really exciting thing. Yeah, like Andy said, after the rules changes, it doesn't happen to him. It's lame.

It's lame. So I read one stipulation to the rule that I thought was brilliant, too, of like, you don't want it to be like a passing appearance gives you the first down. So treat the 17-yard line to gain as like an end zone. So if there's a penalty beyond it, you just get one play from like a fourth and one from that spot.

Oh, all right. Oh, I see. So you've got to convert it. But it gives you a second chance. Right. So you can't just do the Joe Flacco, hook it down, try to get down to the one-yard line, or a passing appearance.

Clever. Yeah, I think it's not bad. Good, because I've seen people hate on it. I'm like, you guys are just lame if you don't want that rule. I like, especially most of the games, right, are not for the Patriots, right? So if you just happen to be watching a game and you have no vested interest,

I just want to see something fun and exciting. That's pretty lame when like the anticipation builds and the announcer is trying to make it exciting. And then it like kind of just patterns out of bounds or into somebody's hands. I'm like, yeah, it's lame. Yeah, I agree. So yeah, all right.

So I mean, that ends the game. Patriots recover the on-size kick, which starts to scuffle. But Pat's end up being able to kneel it at the ends and Belichick gets. What? We're going to the playoffs. It wasn't actually official. It wasn't guaranteed yet. But they have their bye week next week in week 16.

Yeah, well, because this game was played on the Saturday and the two other games that mattered were on the Sunday. And I think if either the Dolphins, oh, sorry, the Jets or the Ravens lost, the pages being the playoffs. But the Jets beat the Colts and the Ravens beat the Bengals. So it didn't happen. They had one more week.

All right. Regardless, Belichick still got his Gatorade bath at the end of the game. He did. And you know, it was a little little smile on his face again before he sold his soul. So he was excited. Yeah, given people bear hugs. Yep.

Guys, I feel like we're making the playoffs here. Like, I didn't think we'd last 16 years. I'm with you. Yeah, that's a fair point. And so so I guess the question is, where is my Gatorade bath? I think it's potentially in the wine episode, which we'll address later if we get to it. Yeah, that's still on the table.

We're figuring out the specifics of that. Right. But yeah, no, you're right, man. I mean, it's been a pleasure connecting with you guys again. It was a good idea, Andy, to talk about the Pats and connect with you guys because life happens and then it's tough to get in touch. So it was a good idea.

You're making it like this is the last episode. We still have more regular season game left. Well, we're entering the bye week, man. You know, that's fair enough. Yeah, mentally prepping. Oh, good Lord. All right, so let's do football. Not football. Do you have any?

I do have a few, man. And some of them, some of them, I think that they're just they're they're throwing it up to me. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, Greg Gumbelfield Sims, they're they're they're new on the scene for us. Haven't heard of them yet. Right. And there's a couple like similar ones,

but the way that they word it, I'm just like, come on, guys. I know what this is at this point, but you're just making it hard on me. Oh, I was here. I was. All right, first one. Well, is that Greg's prime? I'm ready.

Oh, yeah. All right. So I don't know if you guys picked up on some of these, but I doubt it. All right. Charlie Weiss, the offensive. So they're talking about Brady here. Charlie Weiss, the offensive coordinator,

he says he brought me in his office and he gave me a tongue lashing. So I kind of snapped him out of everything. And I think Tom Brady feels good because of that's kind of crazy, right? That's yeah. I mean, what is the tongue lashing? I don't know.

Can we Google that? What is it? Lashing? Yeah, what's a tongue lashing? Because he says he gets a tongue lashing and then all of a sudden he felt like really good. You want me to give you the ASMR version of what Google's saying here?

ASMR, when the whispering stuff? Yeah. All right. Yes. What the fuck was that? What the fuck? Did you have it like queued up, too, Greg? Yeah.

Yeah, what the fuck? What was that? Was that you making that noise? Oh, it was Google, dude. Statch it. Really? Yeah. Can we hear it again?

Yeah. So football or not football? Dude, give it to us again because I have a quince here one more time. Wow. Yeah. You did it. See, I had a different experience when I Googled tongue

lashing, personally. What's the fun? The definition here is that it's a noun that is a loud or severe scolding. So I don't. But after after Greg's experience that he shared with us, I don't I don't know who to believe. So I think this is a gray area.

The two words tongue lashing or one? I think it's two. Yeah, I think it is two. It looks hyphenated to me. Oh, I mean, if that's not a great area, I don't know what is. Yeah, I think you're right, though, because yeah, Greg's findings is very persuasive. It's overwhelming.

Yeah, that was the yeah, that was great. Thank you for looking that up. I appreciate it. It's something. That is. Holy shit. All right. Well, next one.

And I get what this is, I think. But I think that there was a little like weird tinge about the referee that they were talking about. But one of the announcers said a referee would like to look at it from every angle. Oh, girl. Right. Was he under that hood thing, too, when he was talking about him?

I think so. That's why I wonder what they're looking at under there, because when they come out, they're really talking about what they were showing on the TV. Right. So they get their own angles, right? Like that what we see. I guess.

But own angles of what? Of it. What I don't know. I don't know if I want you to Google this anymore. I'm a little scalded by the last fact check to be completely honest. So we're just going to put this in the football one and move on. All right. Yeah, I think so.

I think they might be talking about different angles of the play. Yeah, although all the different camera angles that they've captured, you know, OK, all the secret cameras that they have, especially, especially in Fox. I was going to say there's probably a lot of secret cameras, right, Greg? That's right. Fucking hate her. It is a fact, though.

I've been there and I've seen a few of them, but that's not here nor there. OK. Side note, though, the XFL, it's interesting that they're like trying to do another different thing where it's like full transparency. You can see what the referee sees. You can like no show of conversation. Yeah, they'll show a freaking coach, say a play, and then they'll show what that play is right after.

I'm like, that's isn't that the epitome of like science dealing or whatever? Kind of, yeah. So there. What is that? You guys want to get into some science dealing? Um, I'm really whatever it takes to win. I mean, look, the Red Sox, they probably stole some signs, but I'm OK with it.

Yeah. Steve, thoughts? You ain't cheating. You ain't trying. Oh, classic paths, man. Yeah, everybody's doing it. Cheetry, it's and all that shit. But I'm asterisk.

I can donate. Yeah, me too. But I'm also I'm also a huge fan of all the Astros players getting beaned every time I go up to the plate, too. That's the best. That was good because I wanted to test your homerism of if you get like piss when people say the Patriots cheered and then you get like you judge other franchises for cheating,

then you're not being consistent. Oh, yeah. I've heard Pat's fans like rag on Houston. It's like, dude, come on. Yeah, I think that's it's funny. If you can get away with it for that long, I mean, that's hilarious. Exactly. And the trash can thing is genius.

Dude, it's genius. Because nobody recognizes the trash can that was doing it. You know what? I think it's funny about the whole thing. They do not give a fuck. So if you see them in interviews, they don't give a shit. Yeah, the apology that they keep coming out and giving and be like, well, I'm sorry, you're offended.

Nicely done. And my favorite part is the Yankees, man. They just keep whining about how they lost two years in a row to them or to the Red Sox. And I think it's hilarious. Yeah. And there's also like so much smoke around the fact that like all these former Astros, like people that were involved in it when they're in Houston are on the Yankees as well.

It's like, I don't know how clean you are. So maybe stop throwing those rocks in that glass house of yours. Yeah. Remember the song? Remember Doug, Doug, funny? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Remember his song, banging on a trash can? Oh, yeah. Every time I hear about it, I think that song.

From a street lamp. That should be every other like opponents walk up song to the Oh, they're at that or like as a reliever. You come out to that. Dude, it's hilarious. I just think like talking about the Yankee. So let's say Arod, right, Mr. Steroids, his band from baseball.

And now he's like a beloved celebrity. He's with JLo. We're just cutting through the 15 years of hate and just going right to that point. Yeah. It's like it's hilarious. Yeah. Who cares? Yeah. But in reality, we shouldn't cheat. It's all about the integrity of the game.

This is all in jest. OK, for those out there, I believe in organized sports. I believe in the youth of America and let's keep every game clean. Thank you. You know what the XFL should do? They should allow performance enhancing drugs. And all of them. Oh, I think they tried that.

Let's see what the human body can do when you just pump or the fuck. I think they tried that in sports, but throughout history, it would end up being like what was that? Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie was it? The second one with the ooze. Oh, yeah. And they grew those like huge fucking monster things.

Rock, steady and beep off. Oh, yeah. I think it was, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's also called the 1970s Pittsburgh Steelers. Oh, good point. Yeah. Or the American Gladiators. Oh, I love them.

See, all beloved franchises. What's the XFL waiting for? Yeah. And if you're trying to entertain the people, like, give us. Yeah, I want to see 70 yard field goals. I want to see some guy kick it a field goal from his own 30 yard line. Like that's fucking legit. Again, we don't condone any of this. We don't condone steroid use.

It's sounds like the real way to me right there, Mike. The what? That's the real way right there. I condone all this shit. All right. I personally got it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. You got any football enough? I do. But this one is this one's BS

because we've already talked about the hole. I already know what the hole is. But now these guys tell me that J.R. Redmond squirts through a hole. Come on. Oh, they're just they're messed. They're playing with your mind, Mike. No, I know. And like Steve's like brought it up where it's like we've already talked about the pocket.

We've talked about the hole, but football or not football because that's that's they're just come on. I think at this point, they know you're listening. So that I think this one is actually intentionally not football, even though because they've they've they've kind of lulled you into the football side of this. Right. And now they see how far they can take it. So I'm going to say this is not football.

Yeah. Why would you need to see squirts through a hole? Also, human beings don't squirt. Right. Well, not like that. You scamper through a hole. I've heard that squirting ain't nothing but pain. Oh, he threw the hole. Are you talking about certain like videos? That sounds like comfortable.

Did I've heard that rumor, too? Let's address it right on here right now. That check. That check. Yeah, Google that on Kelly's work computer. Well, just leave it at that. But I've heard those rumors as well. It makes sense.

So that leads me to the next one, then. OK, as a linebacker, he makes it so hard and why they put the so on there. That's what I wonder. He makes it so hard. Yeah, that's that's a context one, but I don't know if I can help you that. This is what I'm saying, man. I'm getting almost frustrated because it's like you're so blatant.

It's like, what are we? What are we doing here? But yeah, anyway, I don't know. But you you may be the only person to watch a 20 year old football game and get sexually frustrated. Well, I wasn't even referring to anything sexual. I disagree. Oh, oh, dude, I don't know what you're doing over there.

But I'm just getting frustrated. That's it. I'm going to put a tongue lash in life. Yeah, well, now I think about it in a whole new light. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, that that's that's a sound I won't ever be able to unhear. What's the point of ASMR? Well, that that was pretty good.

Yeah, I get into that ASMR thing. Yeah, I'm all set, I think. No, I think that's it. We're the first like progressive ASMR Patriots podcast on the moon. Oh, we might be the first to ever have done that. You're right. The first sports, ASMR, maybe.

Dude, we should have an ASMR segment. I don't know. I don't know. OK, OK, OK. Squirting ASMR, maybe. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God, that was interesting. That's just you peering into a toilet.

Oh, that's a real healing rapidly. Yeah, I'm the last two. Oh, you've got two more. These are for me. I got two more. All right. One easy one, I think. Fuck Steve's just making me laugh. All right.

The penalty helps the dolphins come out of their own end. Penalty helps the dolphins come out of their own end. I got nothing. Oh, actually, no. OK, all right, all right, all right. I think this is football. I think their own end is probably their own end in the field, probably. They were probably backed up against the end zone.

Would that make sense? Yeah, their end zone. Oh, why would they say that? OK, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah. Again, I wrote like the scenario of like the dolphins and the penalty, but I guess I got to like just write the context of it. It's always seems to be our context.

The more details, the better. All right. So the last one is about chambers, which he was a rookie right this year. Yeah. So he was coming into his own. I thought he was doing a pretty good job when he was given an opportunity. But this this comment is about him and the announcers were saying the running back went through the middle.

That made the middle open up and chambers fills it in. What does that mean? I don't know. Middle of what I wonder. No idea. Maybe maybe it's the field. Oh, I remember this play. I don't know why.

Probably because I heard it and thought this might be on football. But it was who was it? So it was chambers in the running back, right? Yeah. And so they're saying that chambers ran through the middle, I think of the fields and through the coverage of the defenders, which allowed the running back to fill the middle or the other way around. I think it was the other way around either way.

So yeah, so chambers filled the middle of the field where the defenders weren't there anymore. Oh, OK, got it. Oh, we escaped. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that one was football. You remember it, though. I do. I don't know why I remember that place specifically. I remember that that commentation.

Well, thank you guys, as usual. Oh, no, thank you. I mean, this one I enjoyed. I enjoyed this one thoroughly. So thank you. We learned a lot. Can I do my thing? Do your what? Yeah.

Yeah, we'll do best and worse now. Greg, if you want to go first. All right, I'm just going to. I didn't have any. But while Mike was finishing his, I just started googling Doug. Yeah. My best is Skeeter Valentine. I love him.

That's best. He was blue, wasn't he? He was. Yeah. And obviously, the worst is Roger Klotz. Why? Because he looks a Zorian. That's good. You're cut off, man.

He's crazy. You're really messed up. Orange hair. What color should we make this guy? Because he's the bad guy. Let's just go green to be safe. That's a great show, though. That's right. He was green.

I don't know. I lost all respect for that show after the one episode where he tells Doug that he burned down the science building. And instead of like walking over and verifying it, he's like, now I have to go on the run. Yeah. You've held that opinion for a while because I've heard you say that before, Steve.

Yeah, really? That's hilarious. I have opinions like that about certain TV shows as well. Yeah. I can't think of them off the top of my head, but yeah, I've got some hot takes like that. All right, Steve, let's let's hear your best and worst. Preferably from the football game and not Doug Funny, but you know, do you?

Yeah, we already covered the Doug Funny. The best was Patrick Ketch's touchdown. Mm hmm. Well, how Tom Brady was just flipping out. You know, that was one of my best. You absolutely right. The commentator is like, wow, look how crazy Brady is right now. He was when was the last time you saw that like headbutting Brady pop up?

Yeah, I feel like this last year, you didn't really get a lot of that out of him. Right. He's too old. I think he had one on some of the rookies first scores. Usually doesn't like pump them up. It was Patrick's first touchdown of his career. His only touchouts career, maybe. I'll check that while you do. No, dude, he's stuck around the pads for a while.

Yeah, he was around. I don't know. I didn't have a lot of worse. I guess the first roughing the passer call of the year. Yeah, that was bad. That crazy bad. I mean, you know, they do still penalty. But like I have seen some absolutely brutal hits.

I don't even know if it would be, though. You just he hit him and then just like finished the hit to the ground. Yeah. And today's day, he definitely would be like the weight rule, whatever it is. I don't know. But even just like a clean tackle, he put his helmet in his chest and just like tackle them. You know, you like put it on top of them. You're not allowed to do that anymore.

Yeah, true. But like there's a like crack back block on one of the Troy Browns or versus that was absolutely brutal that they didn't call like, I don't know. Yeah, I thought that too. Yeah. And another best was a career high rushing yards or Antoine on one leg. Yeah. So he got injured like what halfway through the second quarter or something. They said, I think I wrote it down.

It was a contusion on his lower leg. And even with that, like he would limp after every play and like come off after every run he had. He's still taking some. And he ran for 118 yards in the first half. And he finished with like 160 or something like that. Something ridiculous. Yeah, it was like 158, I think.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, he was an absolute animal in this game. Yeah, I think Brady only like cleared 100 yards passing. So yeah, I think they had more rushing yards than passing yards in this game. I read. So but just to fact check that that was Patrick passes only touchdown catch of his no kidding.

Wow. Yeah. Oh, oh, wait, wait, wait. Oh, we had one in the playoffs. So he has one more to get where Greg go 2004 before before his infamous 2005, Mike. So wow. All right. We've got a few Patrick pass highlights. Look forward to apparently. I'm digging it.

He's going to make the same joke. That'd be hilarious. 100 percent. All right, Mike, you're best and worst. All right. So I was going to say headbutting Brady, but that's been said. So I will go with one is like kind of an uneventful play.

But like I thought it was awesome, but Brady got blasted. He was blindsided. And then somehow he like he he lost the football and it like magically bounced into his hands again, like some golden moment. Yeah, I thought that was awesome. That was the yeah, the cornerback coming off the the edge. And you just had like a free run at Tom Brady's back.

He didn't even feel nothing. But somehow it was like right there. What was that? Matt Light just didn't even try to block him. Right. Even see him. Yeah. But I thought that was cool because he managed to have the wherewithal to secure it even though he got killed. And it's my other top moment was a Belichick almost skipping

on the field at the end of the game. I mean, if you look back, he's like kind of frolicking almost. Yeah, he was literally like running up to I think it was Matt Light or one of the offensive linemen, like giving him a huge hug. And that ran over to Brady and gave him a hug so hard he almost knocked his helmet off like he was he was excited. Yeah. So and then the worst. I touched on was seeing that Brady reception

because it did remind me of the Super Bowl. And I can't help but think that maybe if one play went the other way, the Pats would have had three in a row, the elusive three in a row. It's true. That's true. So it's heartbreaking. That's fair enough. And for those of you that aren't Pats fans and are listening for some reason, I understand that it sounds shitty that I just said that.

But. But those are to be expected when you're listening to the Patriots dynasty podcast, right, right, yeah, regardless of what Greg has to say. All right. I don't know where Greg went. But if I was him, I would say, well, there's a good 10 years where the Pats didn't quite make it happen, but we'll leave that for another day. Yeah. All right. I guess Greg is done.

Uh, all right. My best and worst, my best had a couple. Uh, they're kind of two people, Troy Brown, of course. He had a reverse that he ran. It was on the second play from the scrimmage and he was running to the right and it just fell apart. So he did what he does and actually cut it back again the other way. And as Steve Brown alluded to earlier,

he was trying to get around the edge and wasn't going to make it because there was like a backside defensive line or something until Wiggy Jermaine Wiggins came to the rescue and absolutely just lit some dude up from the side. And I'm pretty sure Troy Brown got the first down or got like nine yards on a personal as he does. So what he does? So he had a hell of a year.

Like, I know we've talked about it, but he was at this point vying for what most receptions in a season by a Pats player. He broke. In this game, he broke Terry Glenn's record for receptions by a receiver, I think. Right, which is 91st. Yeah. And then he needed a couple more. To break Ben Coates's record of 96. I think it was. Hmm.

So I don't remember if he did or not. So did you hear the commentators talk about his eyes? Yeah, the poor guy. Well, she called well. Oh, I missed that one. I don't know if he's scared or if he's just seeing the field really well or something like that. And he doesn't run when he runs.

It looks like he's scared. But oh, yeah, his eyes are so huge. But did he ever make a pro bowl? Does anybody know? I feel like he was in the running for the Pro Bowl this year. Right. But if the guy can't make it with like almost a hundred receptions over a thousand yards and being a master on punt returning,

which I know they're separate categories, but I don't think he did. He did make it this year. This is the only thing in the Pro Bowl. Oh, that's awesome. All right. Good. Yeah. Who's got the biggest guys in Patriots history? Brown. Oh, yeah.

Well, Hogan. Oh, he's a dark horse. Yeah. Hogan gets crazy eyes. He sure does. But I think like that was like Caldwell's thing. Yeah, Caldwell always had them. That was the thing.

Dude, but isn't that I've always been told that it's like that could be a thyroid issue, so it concerns me a little bit. Really? Yeah. Oh, OK. I don't know. Greg, could you stat check that, please? Please don't. And if it's wrong, can we scrap that from the.

I'm terrified of these stat checks now. What? What do you want me to put Google? Oh, no. How about a thyroid? Yes. And some are thyroid. Is thyroid. Yes, some are.

No, please. Like, Mike. Oh. The most common bulging eyes is hyperthyroidism. That's a wow thyroid. All right. So that's my only concern, because I know, you know, it becomes a thing, but I hope he I hope he's OK. We're not talking about people here.

No, I think when we get to that, that that era, we'll have to have a deep dive in Rachea Caldwell, because I feel like he's led an interesting life. Well, it's definitely recently been interesting. Yeah, it was alluded to it. Yes, some in Mali. Yeah, we. He was in the insurance scheme. Yeah, exactly.

We talked about that a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, with Joe Horne. Yeah, he was a lookout, we said. Oh, see. That's what that's always. I'm just repeating what was said earlier. Andy, I don't know. But speaking of Troy Brown's record, he was asked before the game.

What do you thought about it? And so the quote was with nine receptions entering this very important game. Saturday Brown needed one more catch to pass. Terry Glenn's 90 catches in 96 for the second highest season reception total. And he needed seven to break the all time record of 96 that by Ben Coats asked about his possible eight. Brown said, what's the record for the most wins? Can we get it?

I guess we can do it this year, but we can tie it, right? I didn't understand that, though, like always a team player. That's all he just wants to win. Yeah. Well, like, what does that mean, though? Like, can we he's what was that last bit that he said? Like, we can get the most wins, right? Yeah, what's the record for the most wins? I think anything for the Patriots.

Yeah. Oh, all right. That makes more sense. Yeah, I didn't quite get it out of context. Me statistic and turn it into a week statistic. Exactly. Team team lives. That's interesting. What was the most wins for in team history? Do we know that?

Are we really going to go down those roads? Yeah, no. OK, because I think we all know it's 18. No, I mean, at that point. I don't know off the top of my head. Right. I'm not looking that up. That's fair enough. No, fucking I'm looking it up.

OK, it's 12. Oh, shit. All right. And this day, the Patriots don't go 12 and 4. Everyone's losing their shit. I know. I think it may be 11. It might be 11 because they were 11 and 11. Yeah, 96. They went 11 and five, 86 and 85.

When the Super Bowls are both 11 and five. Wow, that's five and 78. They did not have many double digit win seasons just in general. Steve's right. It's very different nowadays. Well, I have 11 straight games for like 20 years. I think you might be right.

Every year except 2002. Yeah. 2002 was the last time the Patriots didn't win double digit games. It's crazy. Yeah. So my other. Best was to Bucky Jones. And how bone rattling his hits were

because he forced two fumbles just on receivers who actually caught the ball and turned and met him. And it was like a car car a car crash. And he just the first one he hit the guy and the guy fumbled a bit. It was like it was a bang bang play. The guy just caught the ball and he got hit. But the second one was in the fourth quarter.

It was Lamar Smith, the running back, who had run all over them back in week what three or four, whatever it was. And it was one on one. And it was like literally on like the one or two yard line. And he he hit to Bucky Jones. And it looked like he hit a parked car because he just he hit him and he just stopped

like all his momentum stopped except for the football. And he just like he just went flat as a board and fell the fuck over. And it was such a like old school Patriots hit that you just you don't see that anymore because nobody does it. But Jones all time name Patriot on the all time name list.

To Bucky Jones, maybe cats and more. Yeah, also a good one, Ferret Collins. But my worst was I don't know if you guys saw this. It was coming back from commercial and it was because this was December 22nd, I think, was this game. So it was a couple days before Christmas. So we do all the Christmas stuff. And they had all the Dolphins players.

And Dave wants that wishing everybody a Merry Christmas. Oh, yeah. And the I don't know if it was the the recording or what, but Dave wants that his voice sounds exactly like the big dude from like a Molly, you know, the actor. Oh, yeah, really like a higher pitch voice for a big dude. I didn't write it down because I figured out whatever. But I had the same thought.

I was like, whoa, I whatever. That voice doesn't match. Right. It was very bizarre. Yeah, it was so weird. Might have been the recording. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. So I maybe we'll have to look up some Dave Wonstat videos. Dave wants that.

I need more. No, no, no, no, no. All right. So I think I think we've survived yet another another episode. And before before Gregory decides to bring us down a dark, dark hole, I think we should probably call this a gap.

I mean, it's part of a pocket, I guess. What else have you learned before Greg squirts us through a dark hole? Thank you. We'll bring this mercifully to an end. So next week is technically a bi-week for the Patriots. I think they probably will figure out if they are in the playoffs, depending on some other results, maybe.

I don't know. But after that, it will be heading to Carolina, North Carolina, Greg, South Carolina. Where's the Carolina Panthers located? North Carolina. Come on, and rise up to face the one in 14 Carolina Panthers who they're supposed to play week two until 9-11 happens.

So maybe we'll revisit that conversation because we all know how Mike feels about it. How do I feel about it? We already know. But we'll get into it in depth. This sounds like you're twisting my words, my friends. I'm not twisting anything. I'm not I'm not putting any words in your mouth.

And we're just going to go visit that when we get there. You're going to see a different me moving forward, believe me. OK, I can't I can't even wait. So until then, thank you for joining us and thank you for lasting this long. It's been the Patriots Dynasty podcast. We'll see you next week. Bye, guys.

I know rock. Bye.