Patriots Dynasty Podcast - Emergency Episode: Cam Newton

Episode Date: June 30, 2020

Holy shit Cam Newton is a New England Patriot. We don't normally do these things, but this turn of events warranted an emergency episode to process what just happened.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/patriots-dynasty-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is Christine Brown, and while I have to listen to this podcast, as my motherly duty, you have the choice not to. My sons sometimes say some naughty things when they're trying to be funny, but really, they're just being stupid. You still want to listen? Go right ahead. I am not your mother. Welcome to an emergency episode of the Patriots' Dynasty podcast.

This is not our usual programming. We usually do things 20 years in the past, but today, we thought we'd do a special one, kind of like we did with the Tom Brady news. This is as big, boys, bigger. What do you think? Those are the only options. Yeah. Less big?

I think, well, it's certainly more exciting for us as a fan. Well, yeah, I think if you were to take our tone from the intro of the last emergency episode and this one, they'd be markedly different. I'm going to say they're both like somewhat expected, though. I don't think either of them are expected. They were like completely out of left field. Brady to the Bucks wasn't out of left field. Well, Brady going somewhere else wasn't out of.

OK, all right. But it was to me. And like, where else was Cam Newton really going to sign? Yeah. Tennessee. They just paid Daniel all that money. Yeah, they still need to back up. I mean, as a starter, that was the problem with all this, right?

It is somewhere where he can start. Right. But I got to say, very, very excited for him to come to England. What's your immediate reaction? I was stoked. How descriptive. Well done. Moving on.

Next question. All right. Good podcast, guys. Um. Honestly, my first was, is this even going to matter if we don't have a season? Yeah, that's a good point. I'm a little pessimistic about whether this is actually. Yeah. Well, to this point, it was so nice to have something on the Internet that was like enjoyable to like go through Reddit about, you know,

enjoyable patriots news. Yeah, it's any news, anything. I haven't had anything that hasn't angered me on the Internet in like two months. And finally, we just got the fuck around, say some fun jokes and like, you know. I don't know. You didn't like all the the releases of the uniforms and everybody's shitting on the Los Angeles ones. Yeah, that's kind of fun.

But this was yeah. Whenever there's like huge breaking news in the NFL, that's when social media is the best because everyone's like, it's like it's not like people are being mean. They're just kind of like fucking around. And then you can like go and read other fan bases like reactions and they're like in the dumps. It's just it's that's what I like about sports is we're not taking it too serious.

But we're all having a good time and everyone's talking about it. Yeah, that's true. Brings everybody together in in different ways. Everybody's still. Yeah, like he said, everybody's talking about the same thing and everybody's on the same page. I actually screen shot some stuff from Reddit that I thought was funny. Oh, I'm excited.

I want me to read you some. All right, always. User Hayward, you blow me who's a Jets fan commented going going to grab the bleach but which another Jets fan responded, you don't keep it within the arms reach. Let's see. A Bill's fan, Gail Bidge just said, fuck, that's it. And someone else said astute observation.

I think that's pronounced garbage. This Fresh Prince 987 Steelers fan says as an Auburn and stealing as an Auburn and Steelers fan, I'm going to go jump off a roof. I'm not quite sure how Auburn fits into that, but OK. Yeah, this one guy said, I think he's a Patriots fan. He says, I have no idea what to do with my hands right now. And someone responded, you know what to do. Sometimes I get.

Bill's division favorites, March, 2020, June, 2020. I saw that, but with Jared Stidham, the savior. Yeah, yeah, there was a lot of like erection talk out there, like people being torqued or having boners. So I mean, that's just some good old fun on the Internet, you know, this is. I saw one internet was made for where they were predicting he'd be the lion's starting quarterback in 2021. Oh, I think I saw that, too.

That's pretty about Calvin Johnson coming out of retirement and then they trade Newton for Stafford. I like the one that it was a basketball video of everybody like just putting their heads down dejectedly. And it was the AFC East upon the hearing the news this morning. You got to feel for him, you know. Yeah. As a Jets bills or dolphins fan, you're like, this is a year it's wide open.

Any of us can win it. And I haven't checked the Vegas, the Vegas odds, but I would I would venture to guess that we're probably favorites. I heard on the radio, we're now tied for favorites to win the division with the bills. OK, that makes sense, I think as of this afternoon. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see the the picture of him, his newest outfit? Where he's wearing the Tri-Corner hat and like a blazer.

I saw the one in the militia. Belichick wearing like a scarf with like dreads. Like stupid glasses. I was I was impressed with how quickly people photoshopped Cam Newton in a Patriots uniform. Yeah, that's it. That always blows me away. The memes are immediate.

It's it's insane. But even these photoshopped, they look completely realistic. Yeah. And as somebody who dabbles in Photoshop badly, I understand how much work that is. Badly, don't sell yourself short, Andy. You're the best photoshop person I know personally. Yeah.

Didn't you like Photoshop, Greg and Danny into that thing of Brokeback Mountain? But yeah, it was definitely Greg. I don't know if Danny was in there. Shout out, Danny. And it was Debbie does Dallas. DVD cover or VHS, I don't know, with Greggy does Dallas. Or the time that you your Christmas gift to me was you burned 10 CDs.

And then oh, yeah. Who's I can't remember whose face it was, but you put them on every album cover. It was my roommate, Joey Bear. Yeah, that was that was legendary. So all right, rank the AFC East quarterbacks now. Number one, Jared Stidham. Number two, Cam Newton.

Number three, Brian Hoyer. Number four, Julian Ellerman. Number five, Mohamed Sunoo. Nice question. Really, everyone's assuming and Cam's going to step in and start. What if Hoyer beats him out? Hoyer. Hoyer.

Well, there is. There was a valid point. I listen to Colin Coward talk about today and I actually don't mind him. But he was saying like with. Learning the playbooks like a big piece of this, right, especially if you have like a short and off season and people can't get into facilities to expect him to just show up on like day one and be like running a complicated offense.

That's a tall order. And Stidham's already have already had a season with the playbook. You know, he's got the coach's respect. So I think there is some truth to that. Yeah, I'll also point out that you did call him Stidham. I appreciate that. Oh, yeah. Why? What do you call him?

No, that's what I call him. That's why I want to point out exclusively. Yeah, in case they miss that. Yeah, I think there's a point to that. But I also think with Brady leaving, Josh McDaniels is kind of has an opportunity to revamp the playbook anyway. So for whoever the new quarterback is, he can kind of cater the new places into their their strengths.

So with a Ken Newton coming in, they could foreseeably put, you know, plays in that he's comfortable with or work with him to build a probably more simplified playbook at the beginning and build it up from there. You want to hear my my theory on this? OK, I don't know if anyone I haven't seen anyone mention it, but the Baltimore comparison. To the way they run their offense this past year.

You have an athletic quarterback, like a good offensive line, multiple options at running back. They just drafted two tight ends, which is a big part of Baltimore's offense. They just brought in that fullback, too. Yeah. Who's the weapon both running and catching. Yeah. And then they also look like they try to build their defense

to prevent that exact thing as well. Yeah. And the turnaround of that system, if you remember, was like really quick where they had flackle in there. And then once they benched him, it was like they switched super fast to that new offense. Yeah. So I'm thinking it's like not terribly complicated. It's just hard to defend. Oh, yeah, you might be right. Hmm.

At least for this first season, then build up from there. I don't know if we're going to go all the way to Baltimore, you know, like I know I think they could start incorporating some of the elements, but most of it will stay somewhat the same. Most of it can be supposed to be in theory, a better thrower of the ball downfield than any of these other like quote unquote run first quarterbacks. That's what I've been seeing. Right. People like comparing him to like Michael Vick and all this,

but everybody keeps giving the nod to Cam Newton, the thrower. But he's not an accuracy guy. He's always been like he has like a career like sub 60 percent. They can still fit in there where he needs to, though. I mean, right, but I think he's like he's like a big, yeah, he's a big play guy. You know, he's got a can and and he can like fit it in tight spots. So yeah, I could foreseeably see them. Like basing their offense off of what the Ravens did,

but also opening up the the playbook to more passing plays off of that. You know, that's why it's dependent on the run. Yeah. But that's why this is so exciting is because I think I mean, you've always seen the Patriots kind of like base their system around their roster, but there's limitations that because Brady has always been that one mainstay. Right. So you can only change it so much because you're not going to change away from the strengths of Brady.

But now it's like a completely open ended question to see how far they're willing to like adapt this offense. Yeah. I mean, they've always been on whatever the best interests of the players, right? I've put in a him in this position to succeed. Even like Statham's more mobile than people give him credit for. So you could see it. I mean, they're probably going to incorporate more quarterback running regardless this year.

I mean, I think he's more mobile than Brady. I wouldn't put him as a run first quarterback or even like a running quarterback in general. He's like a like a Sam Bradford, you know, like he could he could run, but you're not you're not going to be game planning to prevent this. I don't know, dude. He had he had 14 rushing touchdowns one year, his rookie season.

Yeah, that's more than most running backs. But we're moving off like an RPO thing that he struggled in. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, like I said, he's more mobile than Brady, but he's not somebody that you game plan for like Patrick Mahomes, you know. I think you're sleeping on it a little bit or a new I think he has more design run. I don't know. He's averaging like a hundred plus rushes a season over to peak that one thirty nine, no, in Carolina.

Yeah. Oh, who are you talking about? Newton. Oh, I was talking about Studham. Oh, Studham. Yeah, he's he's a bum, dad. No, Newtons are running back. That's that's the hot take world I know and love, Greg. Yeah, Studham's he's done already. Greg's yeah, the done chain on. Imagine if you bought a Studham jersey.

I guarantee people out there have done. Yeah. Yeah. There was a lot of people on Twitter and Facebook and social media in general, just in all about how the fact that Belichick didn't draft a quarterback means that this is Studham's team. And obviously they've seen something in the idea, which I think may still be true. Yeah, so I was saying, but you also don't pass up somebody who was the MVP of the league and took his team to 15 and one.

And has always given you as a defense problems whenever you've matched them and get him for the league minimum. That's that's the most insane part about this whole thing is the contract. Yeah. So explain to me, Greg, what was the contract? Well, I mean, from what I read, it's like a million dollar base contract plus incentives to go up to seven and a half, right? Yeah. Right. And they just gave like what if Phil Rivers get like twenty two

for a one year contract, something like that. One twenty. Really? What a big bridge water. Got a bridge water. Got a twenty million dollar plus contract like to get the max deal being a third of what they're paying. Teddy Bridgewater is like absolute sanity to me and sanity. That's what the pictures did it, though.

Yeah. And Bridgewater hasn't done anything like it. It doesn't make any sense. But if like they had cut a bunch of people to free up salary, cap room and then gone off to camp, that says more about their their thoughts. So they stood them and we waited it out and finally got can for the league minimum. Yeah. Like why not? Yeah, there's no there's no downside because the only downside you could see is like is it going to affect how like that feels about it? Sure.

But every single team in the league would take that contract. Yeah. That's how no brander thinks, all right. Which makes you wonder how the hell did no one sign them? I don't know, because the report I was seeing were saying that the page was the only one that had any real interest in them. Yeah. That seems crazy. I mean, I'm looking at the twenty twenty quarterback salary list

because I know like he could have been probably paid a little bit more like a backup at the Steelers or some other those teams like that. You would think even the Ravens, I think, are looking for a backup. Like, I don't know the Ravens backup is, but RG three, RG three. Yeah. There you go. What can Newton be an upgrade? The million. Yeah. Yeah. Are you kidding?

Is that a real question? Right. Yeah. What's wrong with our three? Here, let me give you some last time RG three played. Let me give you some names that are with it. We're in the one million dollar range with less than two million dollars for twenty twenty for quarterbacks. Just over a million, Alex Taney for the Giants. Never heard of him.

Nope. No idea. One point oh five million. Brian Hoyer, one point oh one point oh six nine million Mason Rudolph. The Steelers, CJ Bethard for the 49ers. He's not bad for the Giants. Joe Flacco for the Jets, one point two seven five million. Really? Drew Locke, one point six million. Chad Roney backup for the Chiefs, one point six.

Ryan Griffin for the Bucks. So back up Tom Brady, you'll never see the field. One point six million. Jeff Driscoll. Drippy, drippy, Driscoll, drip, drip. Well, he's good. Three quarter million and everybody else is over two million. Then the last time RG three started more than half the games in the season.

Was his sophomore season. In 2013, it doesn't mean he's not good. But who you but you said is he as good as that be an upgrade going to come in? I have a soft spot for RG three. Yeah, me too. Like the future of the league back when I kind of love him. Yeah. And the Redskins just ran him to death. Yeah, like so apart and then kept running them.

He just never recovered. RG three on this list, two and a half million this year. Yeah. Lamar Jackson, two point five eight three million this year. I mean, three thousand dollars more than RG three. James Winston, two point eight six. But it's a perfect like this one year deal. I mean, essentially what Newton's trying to do is parlay this into a bigger contract. Right. Yeah.

It's trying to one year prove it on a good team with a good coaching staff. And then next year, you'll still only be like 31 32 signed like a huge deal again. Right. Which like has worked for him in the past. Like he went when he went, he was at Florida originally behind Debo. And then he either got booted from the university or left it. I'm not really sure. But then he went to junior college and then Auburn and won a Heisman

and a national championship and just like torched the entire college football landscape. So he's got it in him, you know, that kind of like fuck you attitude. Right. Yeah. Which is plays well with the what the what the pageants do, right? Yeah. So that's great. It's been two point without this contract for Cam Newton, the pages are paying a combined to. Two point two, two point eight million dollars for all the quarterbacks.

So even if Cam Newton earns his seven and a half million, you're looking at what? What's the math on that? Ten, eleven million. Give or take that cap number for all the incentives are. No, I haven't heard that come out yet. No, but every patriot quarterback combined will be making even if Cam Newton hits a seven and a half million, we'll be making less than Teddy Bridgewater. Himself and Carson Wentz, Matt, Ryan, Alex, Smith, Kirk Cousins,

basically anybody above him will be making about it. They'll be making about as much as Mitch Trabisky, which is all well and good, except the pages have no cap space. So it's not like, oh, I guess that brings up the question. Is this is this a big this this whole thing getting Cam Newton on a, you know, a possibly washed up Cam Newton on a killer deal? Is this because Bellachic has mismanaged the salary cap? Or is it just another example of him working as magic?

And having spent all his money elsewhere on. Well, they have like 86 million next year in free space. So I think it was just the case of they actually have about as much money available as you and I do. And you just bought a house. I think they're actually in the negatives right now. Do some. No, I think it's just an opportunity to strike, you know. Yeah. So you don't see this as Bellachic kind of.

Having gotten stuck in a corner. No, this Greg's on the call. So this is genius by Bill Bellachic, pure, unadulterated, genius moves, shrewd negotiation set up over years of Tom Brady to finally delay himself as former MVP quarterback at a million dollar contract. I'll a dailiest Thomas after point. Well, I mean, what's the alternative? Right. You just roll with a rookie quarterback.

I mean, I guess he could say, yeah, I don't think money is the reason that inside Brady, right? Because a lot of that dead money is him anyways, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. So it's like the alternatives are overspend for the Teddy Bridge riders of the world or spend this on Newton. I don't care what the salary cap is. Give me Newton, you know, like that's a no brainer to me,

even if it was just football, never mind like what you're paying him. I'll take Newton over Bridgewater. I mean, this is great. This is great money management. Wow. So it's genius by Bellachic. I think it is. Yeah. As far as like what? How can you say it's like anything but, you know, like it's you got

the possibility that it turns into like your Super Bowl contender with the downside of nothing really, right? You lose a million dollars. Yeah. And then you're you're out of it. You find out what's so it's like. Yeah, yeah, that's the option is that Stittum could be legit and beat out Cam Newton for the starting job and then be your

starter for however many years, you know, because he's the young guy still working contract and you can especially if next year Stittum's the answer, he's still on his sub million dollar contract and you have like Steve said, 80 something million dollars in cap space. What the fuck? Yeah. Well, so then I have a question for you. Do you think Bellachic is good at these

like not damaged goods necessarily, but like formally like really highly valued players bringing them in at a at a bargain? Would you say he's good at it or bad at it? He's good. I'd say he's he's better than the average. Yeah. I mean, he's had hits and misses, but I'd say he's hit on more of them. Oh, like a great example flies on the radar is Kyle Van Noy. Mm hmm. Dude is like a second round pick by the Lions. So it's like might as well be a first round or almost and he was just terrible.

They just could not utilize him. So we'd trade like a seventh rounder for him and then it turned into the awesome. I mean, yeah, our podcast that we've been talking about the Mike Ravel is exactly the same counter counterpoint. Barkevious Mingo, right? Oh, I'm not saying 100 percent, right? Yeah. And that's that's ultimately what it is, right? Is there's no downside to these moves where he brings these guys in.

So everyone talks about like, oh, it brings in these old veterans that are because you don't really remember the misses because they don't matter. It's not like they sink the team or your salary, but there's tons of them. You know, you look through some of the names that have played on this team and you're like, holy shit, I forgot about that. Like Reggie Wayne, Joey Galloway, Tim Tebow, Joe Sinko, you know, like all these and Taylor Haynes Worth, Murray Haynes Worth. Yeah. I was going to bring up.

We've missed on a ton of them, but it just doesn't matter because you hit on Corey Dillon, Randy Moss, Rodney Harrison, Ligaret Blunt, like, you know, like twice. All you need to do really is hit on a few of them and it's it's a successful strategy. So I think where a lot of it can come is like the media circus that surrounds it. You know, Cam doesn't come without, you know, we've already made some jokes about his style of dress and outfits and all that.

And there's a there's a fair bit of criticism. We should talk to him before about Cam and Tebow was a great example. Like that guy was just a traveling media circus. Oh, just think of Albert Haynes Worth. They were the same way. So there's a risk in that for other teams, but less so for the Patriots. Yeah. And I think part of that, too, is they're perfectly willing to just like cut ties with that. Yeah. Yeah. Albert Haynes Worth. They were like, this isn't working out. See you later.

Yeah. We're in my past year. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Antonio Brown said, you know, they just they're not going to hang on too late to it. You know, they just like, here's a controversy. And because they've they've usually signed them for these. Incentive late in contract. It doesn't it like there's never been one of those where they've cut the guy and it's really come back to bite them in terms of contract.

Like the closest one I can think of is in Antonio Brown. And I felt that one to me felt it. Daily is Thomas was they probably. Yeah, that's true. But I mean, he played on the pass through a couple of years, though. Wasn't like right. Which made it made me think they would have caught him sooner if he wasn't. Yeah, that's that's possible. He was all right, though.

He made some. Yeah. He's just but that was the whole. And he retired after he got injured. And I think that was that whole like 2008, 2009, where. Belichick felt like he lost the team, right? Wasn't that was that on nine with the yeah, the fourth and two game. And the Randy Maw showing up late like everybody's showing up late to the. To meetings because it's no doubt or some bullshit.

I think that was around then. Yeah, I don't think it was as much as it was. A deal is Tom says it was just kind of like a whole clubhouse thing. But I think a deal is Thomas probably played into that. You know, we were talking about Roman Pfeiffer being wicked awesome. And that we forgot that. He brought him in on a veteran's minimum. Right. That's crazy.

I thought he was still like fairly highly paid. No, no, to get that out of him. What we've seen him do back in the one or two. Like that is insane production for veterans minimum. Right. But this is this. And I think part of it is. That the the Patriots have a system and so that they know what they need to fit into that system,

what kind of player they need so they can go and look at somebody who might not be getting attention from every all the other teams in the league, like somebody like that, like a Roman Pfeiffer and say, you know, we need to order you in a Mike Brable. Like we need this this kind of combo edge guy who's too big to be a lineman, a linebacker, but too small to be a defensive end. And we need him to be able to set the edge sort of thing. And that's all we're going to ask him to do.

And as long as you can do that, the system will will fit him in and it will. He will be bigger than the sum of its parts, because he's doing only what we ask of him is doing his job. Yeah. And exactly. And the pages have gotten this that part of it down to it feels like a science that I mean, you look at drafting, you have no idea who they're going to pick because they don't seem to grade players the same way that other teams do. Yeah. And I think like the only real blind spot,

it feels like the Patriots personnel has for some reason, it just doesn't translate to them for whatever reason. It's all Tom Brady's fault. You know, now that they have Cam in here, it'll be no problem. The kill Harry is the happiest person in this team right now. I mean, if you look at the receivers he had when they went to the. Super Bowl. They're hilarious. Yeah.

Well, I mean, I was hearing a lot of negativity. Funches was probably their leading receiver, right? Yeah, we went through it when we talked to Bobby last season. Yeah, Ted Ginn. Yeah, Philly. Olsen was their leading receiver. Yeah, Philly Brown. And then a couple of guys that even even Bobby hadn't heard of.

Not great. But yeah, but I was also that that's part of what I was kind of surprised to hear people being negative on this move, because they said that Cam Newton, the last time he saw the field, looked like he had lost a step, but also he had had a better surrounding cast than the Patriots because they had Christian McCaffrey and a couple of wide receivers who I can't think of right now. Or Samuel and a dude from Maryland.

That's really good. Yeah, exactly. I like him a lot. DJ Moore. Yeah, that's the one. He was struggling with he was struggling with those guys. He was hurt over and then. Yeah, that's what I think.

But I was surprised at how much negativity there was around that. From who? Where'd you hear that? You called on Pat's fans. Yeah, exactly. People like you and. Well, see, I know, see, I judge the Patriots moves on what other fans are saying. You know, they all like it. You like it. Yeah.

You're just a sheep. If they're ready, if they're ready to commit suicide over it, it's a good signing. Oh, so you go. They don't. Yeah. Because, you know, that's a true side. And we all we all have our fan based biases, right? And like, we're no different here as Patriots fans. We're probably more drink in the cooler than anybody in pro sports, if we're being honest.

And Bill, we trust. Yeah, but it's hard to spin this one as a negative. Because even if you say, oh, he's not the quarterback he once was, it doesn't matter. He's getting paid a million dollars. Right. There's no downside. Yeah, a little risk. The only thing I could possibly see is it blocking. Yeah, either that or.

But it's a one year. So, yeah, because everybody thinks he's got a thin skin. It'll be interesting to see how he handles the Boston media. Right, because I think that's always a. A concern with anybody that comes here, regardless of who we are. Yeah, what? Look at all the baseball players that have come over to the Red Sox and struggled like Pablo Sandoval, right?

OK, no, it's his. Dude, when Pablo Sandoval when he blew out his belt, swinging in this was fucking all over to just trade on that. Yeah, I really should have. It was so funny. I'm interested. What happens if Sidham wins a job out of camp and then struggles the first couple of weeks?

I was wondering that, too. Yeah, point. Because like Cam is there to start or the opposite. I mean, even if. Yeah, we've never had to, you know, not since like 2002 games that we are just rewatching now. Well, you could say. Because this.

This feels to me similar to. The twenty eighteen when Brady was suspended the first four games and it was Jimmy Garoppolo's first time to start, and then he got hurt and then it was Jacobi Brissette. It kind of has that feel to me where because and I think we've. I talked about this here and there on this podcast already where. You got so used to Brady doing what he does. That you came into every game with an expectation of

no matter what the two teams are, like no matter who's around Brady or who the opponent was, you always expected Brady to do Brady things and figure out a way to pull it out in the end. But going into those first games of that twenty eighteen season, I hope it's but it like going into the games felt different because you didn't know what was going to happen. You had no expectations what the game was supposed to like how it was supposed to go, you know what I mean?

And I feel like I haven't felt that. You know, in 20 years and now I'm having that feeling again where I'm kind of excited to watch these games because I don't have an expectation of how they're supposed to go. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Heavy is the crown, right? Yeah, you know, the expectations are so high. It's like it's kind of this is going to come off like Patriots fans

just being like spoiled babies. But I understand that it comes off watching when you're always the favorite. Yeah, yeah, because you you come into this game with anything less than perfection is like a negative result almost, you know. Yeah, but has the signing not significantly elevated those expectations again? Now it's like, oh, they're going back to Super Bowl because I can't. No, because well, at least not for me, because I still it's so completely unknown still. I don't know. I have no idea how that's going to look.

I don't know if Cam is back to his, you know, twenty fifteen, you know, performing, performability. What's what I'm looking for? Back to performance, performance ability. Skill level of twenty fifteen is health, you know, deptitudeness. Yeah, his adroitness. How about that? Oh, oh, oh, can you spell that for me so I can stat check this, Greg?

Are you going to stat check it? Adroitness. This is not a word. Well, adroit is cleverness or skill. Yeah, especially with the hands, you. God damn right, bitch. Because I forget where it doesn't mean I don't want to go on Reddit and comment under that guy and be like, yeah, you know what to do with your hands, Mr. I'm putting this in my lexicon.

And it's good, right? Hey, guys, you've got to stop using such big words. You're going to alienate our audience. Yeah, we don't want to be gauche. I don't think you should talk about your mother like that. She's looking for a podcast now. Sorry, mom. Yeah. And so it just like back to what I was saying, it has a different feeling.

And I kind of. And again, I know this comes off as sounding like a spoiled Patriots fan, but it's kind of a refreshing way to go into a football game of not having that expectation of we're going to win this game if we don't. And I like it because it's change of pace, but talk to me six weeks into the season when we're three and three and there's a quarterback discussion and I'll probably have change. Yeah, talk to me when that fumbles on the ground and Camden looks at it

and his brain starts spinning. And he goes, nah, oh, thanks. Or even just when like the, you know, there's some sort of gaff that he makes in the post game press conference or something like that. You know what I mean? Three guys. Are you a car? Yeah, it's the UPS guy on the window.

Oh, he'll keep going back. What the fuck is that? Oh, it's our new umbrella breaking news. Emergency podcast. Andy purchases new umbrella. That's right. Yeah, he still hasn't seen me. Yeah, it was literally walked right past the car. I didn't see me once.

Oh, well, our old umbrella got eaten by mice. Those fuckers, classic, classic umbrella with a hole in its useless. But his useless is. Well, I was going to say one of you on the podcast, but whatever. This usually is a large vocabulary on this podcast. How about that? Oh, I was going to say it's Brian Hoyer. That's not bad to back to back to vocabulary.

You know the word, masochist? Yeah. Is that inherently sexual? Or is that just mean, like? You like pain? I thought it was. Yeah, I think I think it's just you. You enjoy having pain inflicted on you.

I don't think it's necessarily sexual. Where are you going with this, Greg? Well, because I sent it to someone at work and they didn't know what it meant, and they just put it in Google. And the first response is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain or humiliation. And they were like, why would you say that to me? Oh, then maybe I don't know.

I just thought I mean, it says underneath it, like in general use, a person who enjoys an activity that appears to be painful or tedious. Yeah. But the first hit being sexual gratification from your own pain. I mean, I think that has been co-authentized. So it started. What the fuck is it, you do in general? I don't know.

Yeah, right. Do tedious work, painful or tedious? I would just I would just skip by that one, Greg. You know, I'll leave that one in the in the personal folder. In the spank bank, as they say, the masochist spank bank. Sure, whatever. Whatever you do, just don't use it at work. OK, the spank bank inherently sexual.

Well, what did what did you? You said snacking was sexual. Remember that? It's all sexual. He's got a week. Shout out week 15, 2001. That's a joke for our our religious, you know, listeners, not just people that show up for the emergency podcast.

Oh, it's not actually people who are religious. No, the people that, you know, listen religiously. I want to shout out mom, so it might not even be out. That's true. The problem with pre-recording things. You're breaking news since overcut your your actual podcast episodes. Cool.

Man, the definition is only get worse. Sorry, go ahead. Give me a prediction for how you see the Patriots. Doing this. I say, say how the poor bag shakes. No, that's not really a question, Steve. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I predict that stood a wins job in camp

and holds it all year and came as a backup. Wow. What's the record? Make the playoffs as a wild card. That's a fireball take. Well, I think that was his take from before the Cam Newton thing, wasn't it, Steve? Sure, because my original take was Patriots

squeaking to the playoffs at like nine and seven, ten and six with that seven spot. Now that there is a seven spot. Yeah. And then you have a whole revenge tour thing. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. So I think I'm going to update that slightly where I think the quarterback play will be better. The Patriots will win the East again.

We'll still make the playoffs and the same thing happens. They make the playoffs get to the Super Bowl. Tom Brady is there waiting for them. Belichick puts together yet another Hall of Fame or the defensive game plan to Stymie Brady, who has set multiple offensive records this season. And the Patriots go on to win their seventh take, too. Yeah, what she got, Greg.

The Jared Stuttham wins the job, but then problematic tweets from his past resurface and training camp. He gets canceled. Cam Newton takes over the starting job, but then the season is canceled by covid and the Patriots go zero and zero and the NFL falls apart. And then there's never another game ever played.

How's that for a fucking fire? That's not bad. That's a twenty twenty fire take right there. Yeah. Yeah. No problem. No, I don't for fear. I think, yeah, right. Co Cam Newton. Assuming there's a season, Cam Newton wins the job. They start out six and six. They squeak in at 10 and six.

They lose in the second round. And then the patch ship them out. I don't know. Does it matter? The Texans for posterity's sake, I should really. I think they'll struggle in the beginning parts of the season, because I think there is some legitimacy to like this guy has to learn a whole new playbook and or they need to like change their system. So I don't think it's going to be like a come in and just blow the doors up.

I think they'll they're either way stut them or they're going to struggle early in the season. And I think you do. Right. And I think if they get to that last quarter of the season and start putting it together, they could be trouble. I like the O.A. Patriots did. Yeah. How about this? They go into they go into Buffalo and beat the bills in Buffalo in the wildcard.

Is that possible? Oh, yeah. That I don't know if they backdoor and the seven spot and then beat the bills in Buffalo in the playoffs with those who would have, in this case, won the AFC youth for the first time. Yes. Yeah. With like, you know, Cam Newton goes on I.R. and Week 17 and stut them's first game as a playoffs. It goes into Buffalo.

That would be so perfect. Oh, no, here. All right. I'll I'll I'll add on to mine. To mirrored the O that the 2001 season. Stidham wins the job. Right. Or no, no, no. It would be Cam Newton wins the job gets injured early in the season week two or three.

Right. Out for like, they put them on I.R. But doesn't need to return. Needs me and then. Stidham comes in, does what he needs to do. Pages get through. Stidham gets hurt against the bills. And you have your triumph from return of Cam Newton, who comes in and wins the game.

And then Stidham continues like, it's only hurt for the game. Comes back in. Right. It's like, it's coming into the rescue. Exactly. Yeah. Shades. I love his celebrations, too.

When that during the tennis, he got pissed about it and dabbing. And he's dabs in his face, too. That's just legendary stuff right there. Yeah, that was pretty good. Okay. My final thoughts on this, the Pats need to sign Jamal Adams. They'd trade for him?

Yeah. He's ready to come. Who would you trade for him? Dude, he was he was applauding Bill Belichick online for this signing. I know, you know what that means. Ask for a trade. Oh, yeah, he's got some googly eyes for old Billy boy. So what would you give up to get Jamal Adams here?

A safety in a position that you have no need for. Jared Stidham. Yeah, I'll tell you what, I'll give you Patrick Cheung's expiring contract. I don't even know if expiring contracts are a thing in the NFL, but he doesn't even have one. Didn't we just resign Cheung? You can have it for years. Yeah, I'll give you all the cocaine that Patrick Cheung has in his lake house.

That would be sick to Jamal Adams. He is, but he's the safety. Like how much impact has he just drafted that guy? No, yeah, he's a linebacker, Andy. No, he's not. He is. No, he's not. Dude, I read this.

I read this fucking stat the other day of like the numbers differences when they have when they were lining up Jamal Adams in the box as opposed to that safety. And like there was like a drastic difference in like 50% of the plays like went for lost yardage or something crazy like that. Good Lord. Yeah. And that's the new thing, right?

You have these like linebacker slash safety hybrids, these big ass dudes that can run. I'm telling you. That's basically what the pages just spent an entire draft on, right? That and Titans either linebackers who are lighter and quicker or safeties who are a bit heftier. Yeah, I think it's still run, which I think is to is to combat the.

This kind of run first RPO offenses that you're seeing the Ravens and the Chiefs and such. I don't even want him. Play for the Jets. Fuck him. All right, I got to go. I got to go get the groceries. All right.

I think we'll end on guys. See you next week. Bye. Bye, guys. Well, I don't know.