Patriots Dynasty Podcast - Offseason: 4th and Loud Series Review

Episode Date: October 27, 2020

While interviewing Matt Chatham we discovered that one of his former coaches Walt "Hous" Housman was one of the main characters in a reality TV show about a KISS-branded arena football team. No seriously. It's called 4th and Loud, and is available on Amazon Prime Video for you to watch if you don't believe us.Or you could just listen to the podcast and we'll tell you all the best parts without you having to suffer through it. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/patriots-dynasty-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is Christine Brown and while I have to listen to this podcast as my motherly duty, you have the choice not to. My sons sometimes say some naughty things when they're trying to be funny, but really, they're just being stupid. You still want to listen? Go right ahead. I am not your mother. All right, welcome to a special episode. We're going to call an Evergreen episode of Pages to Icy podcast. Evergreen is something that can be released at any time. But I don't know. I think we can go with a better name with it. That's just what they're called. It's not my name.

It's like the tree. Yeah, it's just always green. It's always fresh, always new content. This is just something that has no data attached to it. Give me a better name, Steve. Well, we watched a show from 2014. It's not that fresh. Oh, it's fresh. But if we're being honest, all of our episodes are Evergreen. Doesn't fucking matter when they come out, does it? No, you're right. So this is a different type of Evergreen content. This is a slight departure from our usual game recaps. We were put onto, I suppose, specifically Coach House. I don't even write that as full name, but when we talked to Matt Shadam in the 2001 Super Bowl episode,

this is the guy that was yelling at him at training camp, right on the sidelines? Yeah. Yeah, but he was his coach in college and he's from New Hampshire. Merrimack. Merrimack, that's right, I represent. And so, and apparently he was on this TV show called Los Angeles Kiss. Actually, no, the TV show was called Fourth and Loud, and it was about Los Angeles Kiss. The Arena Football League. For those who don't know, I mean, I'll just make those out there, but the Arena Football League had back in, like Steve said, 2014, an expansion team that was partnered with Kiss, the rock band, if you can call them that. Oh, we'll get to that. Oh, we sure will. The bit inflammatory. I don't

like your tone. That's fine. We can hash this out in a minute, but yeah, so this was AMC, apparently. It was a documentary about this expansion team for the AFL. So it's basically hard knocks, but Arena Football League and also has the two dudes, Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons from Kiss on AMC, which is not a sports network. We'll call it that. Yeah, I would give you that. They don't even really strike me as a documentary network. There's a lot of bleeping out of Coach House, too. A lot of bleeping out of a lot of coaches. Pretty much every coach. There was three main ones on here. It was Coach Bob. Was it Dad Bob? Is that what they called him? Yeah, Dad Bob.

No, but one of the guys who would play for my friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Daddy Bob. So Bob McMillan was the head coach and he reminded me of somebody, but I couldn't put it together who it was. He looks like my friend, Cole, and I texted my friend and sold him that and I ended up offending him. I mean, the guy, he's not a small man. He's not huge, but he's not slender. Oh, it's their goatee. They had like the same little goatee there. Yeah, I'll do it. But his assistant head coach was Coach House, Walt Hausman, who we just mentioned. And they have their player personnel guy, Ernie Adams of the AFL. I've written down the name of Scott Bailey. He was just always packing the fattest lip.

Just full moons, just constantly. Yeah. So, and then it just follows. So the, a little bit of backstory. I think the three coaches had worked together a lot before and Coach Bob was brought in because he had never had a losing season. He played for a ton of years as a fullback in the AFL, never had a losing season, won a bunch of championships, and then became a coach, still never had any losing seasons. And then, so that's why they picked him up. Because they wanted to bring, what were they, where they keep saying about LA and how they wanted to, they wanted to bring a chip to LA or something. Want to bring the loud fourth and loud. The fourth and loud. So yeah, talk to me about your, because Greg, you're the one

that kind of pushed for this. So I want to know your thoughts first and foremost. Yeah. So, Adam brought it up when we were interviewing him and I googled it because I was like, I didn't know there was a arena team based off KISS. And like, obviously, you know, KISS is ridiculous. And then there, you looked at their jerseys and they're just the most obnoxious thing you could ever imagine. Yeah. So I was like, all right, I got to watch this show. And then I watched all 10 episodes in about two days. And I can't tell if I loved it or hated it. But I watched them all. So I clearly got something out of it. So I think, can you describe the uniforms to our listeners? Because I'm not sure.

Plus, I don't know if we can portray it well enough. I got a good apt comparison. You take like a four or five-year-old who loves monster trucks and he's like, does I need some NFL uniforms? And he goes, all right. So, and the best part about that is I agree with you completely. But this was Paul Stanley's. Like he was very involved with the making of the uniforms and the helmets. Yes, as KISS does. Right. Exactly. Yeah. But yeah, they are basically from the shoulder pads up is all flames. They have flames on the shoulders going backwards. And then literally the front of the face mask up almost like a hot rod. They give you a picture like the front of a hot rod

and the flames going back. It's like that but for the football helmet. Yeah, including the yeah, the flame visor is pretty sweet. I got it. That was okay. I could admit that was legit. But if they didn't, it just looked like their face masks were multi-colored. It would have been awesome if they'd had like matte black helmets, you know, like some matte in there would have been there just like chrome and everything as well. Oh yeah. Flames and chrome. And this is almost too much. Almost too much. Dude, this is that's their thing though, right? Like if I went to a KISS AFL game and they were like classy uniforms, I'd be like, this doesn't make any sense. You know, like understated all black or something. Yeah,

their stick is like, well, let's be as gaudy and tacky and over the top as possible, I think. Yeah, I think they pulled it off. Nailed it. Yeah. And so the interesting thing about the show, it's like, it's kind of like hard knocks where it's like following a team, but then they add the whole like front office aspect to it. So there's like these two dudes that run the team, Brett and Skyler. That guy. Can you spell Skyler for me? S-C-H-U-Y-L-E-R. Yeah. This fucking guy, dude. Both of them. Brett, I can't fucking stand either. He's a weasel. Oh, we're the pets of Brett. Oh, you're acting fucking. You want to do it now? Well, well, let's set them up. So there's those two guys running the team,

and then there's Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons from KISS. They're like the- Brett and Skyler are what they were calling co-owners. I'm not quite sure what the partnership was. They didn't really explain the partnership between them and KISS. Right. Brett definitely put up money. You could tell that he had a fair amount of money involved in this. Right. So it sounded like KISS was like the creative direction of the team, and those two guys were like operations. And then you had the coaching staff, which is Bob, Coach House, and Scott. And those are like the main players. And the dynamic, the dynamic between them was electric.

So quick poll. Were you guys, were you guys team Douchebag or were you team Coach? No bias in this poll, though. Well, you didn't think Bob was the Douchebag? No, I didn't mind Bob. No, I fucking loved him. Really? The coach? Yeah, Coach. The coach for his guys, regardless. It was a hundred percent. Yeah, and he took all the blame, too.

Fuck, a hundred percent of the blame, regardless of whose fault it was. And they had, what, an eight-game losing streak or something ridiculous? Yeah, it got bad at the end. They went like three and 15 or something. They started off two and one, and then ended up three and 15. So you can figure out the numbers from there. Snake, Snakebitten. Yeah. I don't know if you got to that episode, Andy.

I don't remember which one that was. Let's see. Did I get to Snakebitten? They got hit with the venom. So, so there's, there are inaugural season, and I don't know if this is true, but on, on the surface, it looks like they're dumping more into this than any other team in that league, right? So they go out and they snag the coach of the year from whatever previous year. They, they bring in Colt Brennan of, yeah, University of Hawaii fame for their quarterback. Yep. They have this huge budget, which they were saying it was like double anybody else in the league,

just for like entertainment purposes. So they're like, everyone's like, we're doing this, like the coaches are going to the year promising, we're going to win the championship, the arena bowl. And, and not to give a spoiler. I can't imagine anybody's actually going to watch this whole thing, but basically they start out decently well and then just dive bomb for like eight episodes of the season. And just watching these people self-destruct in front of your eyes was, was so entertaining. They're getting doubled up too in arena football, like 80 to 40.

Oh yeah. Yeah. The scores right, right? There's like 63 to 12 and then some of these things. It's ridiculous. But I think like, okay, I've, yeah, we've been to a couple of, uh, of arena football games. And it's usually pretty high scoring. Like to see both scores in the 50s is not uncommon, but to see a team scoring 12 points is, I think less common. Might as well be a shout out. Right. Yeah. But, but like, what the fuck were they expecting? They're trying to like start a new arena football team. There's not enough talent for like three arena football teams.

Yeah. So that was, that was the interesting part is like the finding people to actually play on these teams is like way harder than I thought it would be. They did two open tryouts. One of them during the middle of the season. Just to the public. Yeah. Just fucking show up and if you can play well. How much did, how much these guys getting paid? Oh, they said it. It was like, uh, isn't it like a max salary or something like that?

Like 800 bucks a week or something. I think it's something like that. So also I just realized that it doesn't even exist anymore. Did you know that? Yeah, like folded. Oh yeah, shut down. Peanuts though. Not too long ago. It's folded like in November. Oh, of this year? You know, football league did?

Yeah. 2019. They filed for bankruptcy. Oh, but they, yeah, they had a second division, which is what was the one in Manchester here that we went to. Manchester was at Wolves. You almost bought season tickets. You fucking tell me. I wanted to. Yeah. The Manchester Wolves. Why would you buy season tickets to the Manchester? Because you could sit up front and any ball that goes into the stands, you get to keep. And how expensive were Manchester Wolves season tickets?

Yeah, but it's not about the money. It's about taking time out of your day, like weekly to go to arena football. All right, so there's something that's not right now. Just to get a ball. How much would you pay right now to go watch an arena football game? I would go to one game. I would go to one game. I'd be like, yeah, saw what I needed to see.

But that, that was, and that was division two. What if arena football had like the talent level of the NFL, though, then that thing would be awesome. Well, I'll tell that to Kurt Warner. There you go. True. But it's like, it's so fast. And like, yeah, it was kind of, it was kind of exciting.

Might have just been the tricks of the camera, but they made it look kind of cool. It's like, it's a hockey size because they play him in hockey stadiums, you could tell. You just take football and you kind of condense it down in there and just speed everything up. Yeah, it's 50 yards and it's like half as wide. So it's real narrow, real short. And the field goals are nine feet apart instead of the full width. I don't think they should have left up the hockey boards though. You know,

Dude, so many people getting hurt. Well, instead, they're just flipping over them into the fans. Dude, it's better though. That's so much better. That's how you get season tickets. So I looked it up actually, and I like his did sell the most season tickets in the AFL that year. That makes sense. They were the only to average 10,000 fans and attendants for all their home games,

despite going so terrible. I bet they still lost mine. Yeah, oh yeah. Well, all the other teams they were playing were like from cities, like just second rate cities, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Portland.

Yeah. Prescott, Arizona. Yeah. Which team were the barnstormers? I don't even know. Iowa. Yeah. Probably like Sioux Falls.

That's that's where Kurt played. That's right. Yeah. He played for the barnstormers. Yeah. So you want to talk about the roster? Yes, I think players. I think we should probably start the quarterback,

because that was the most interesting situation. Paul. So do you remember Colt Brennan? Yeah. He was an absolute stud in Hawaii. Yeah. He's on skids too. In three years, he threw for 14,000 yards.

Yeah. He's the ninth most yards ever. And 131 touchdowns. He threw 58 touchdowns in 2006. Yeah. He basically has like the second best touchdowns per game average for anybody that threw over 100 touchdowns. That's ridiculous.

Like 58 touchdowns in one season. Yeah. You know who the only person that has a better had more on average? Kurt Warner. Tim Rattay. We're not sure that all of this is translate, doesn't it? And the most overall touchdowns?

Case Keenum. Really? Guns slayer. All right. Most touchdowns in a season? Overall. No, I'm not. Do you know?

Will we know him? You would. It just happened this year. Joe Barrow. Through 60 touchdowns. Joe Barrow. Jesus Christ. Two more than second place.

Cole Brennan. Oh, man. You want to hear just the top 10 list of these? Joe Barrow. Cole Brennan. David Klingler. B.J. Simmons. Texas Tag.

Texas Tag. William Haskin. Derek Carr. Sam Bradford. Brandon Daughty. 2014. What's your name? Oh, hi.

Anthony Gordon. Oh, and Brandon Daughty again. And then Case Keenum. Yeah, that's not a who's who. Me and a foul. Cliff Kingsbury is on this list, though. 45. Yeah, it's basically just that.

Texas Tag. Yeah, it's basically Texas Tag offense. That'll be one, two, three, four. Texas Tag. And the top 25. Damn. Oh, Patrick. Have my own slacking.

Yeah. Yeah, he's on here, too. Jesus. This is the list. Oh, so I missed the episode where they got rid of their first guy, their first quarterback. So the reason, yeah, Cole McCoy. Not Cole.

Cole Brennan. Cole McCoy, Jesus. But the reason he couldn't play was because he suffered a car accident and had and it was such a bad car accident that he had brain damage. Right. The way he explained it was something like he had a scar on his brain. Isn't that right? Mm hmm.

And it makes him do like impetuous and things like that. So he basically like he was there any in the hole and he couldn't pass his physical because they said if he played, he might die. So he never plays a snap. No, well, he did. Well, he did play like three snaps in in the first practice and then got yelled at for not being able to not be allowed to do that. The action to replay it again.

Yeah, I don't I wouldn't. It's not great. Wow. So that left Greg. Who are the other two quarterbacks? JJ JJ Ratterink. He's Ratterink. He's the only one on the roster and they're like, all right, we got to go with Ratterink.

Yeah. Which I think they treat the first overall pick in the expansion draft for him. Really? Yeah. He's my dude. I love JJ. Yeah, I figured you would. He's a arena football league veteran.

I would say who? Who's his NFL comp? Jeff Garcia. Okay. Nailed it. He is Jeff Garcia. I don't know if Jeff Garcia runs pass rounds though. That's true.

That's true. But he's like a crafty looking, probably undersized white guy that can kind of run a little bit. Veteran. I would say Brian Hoyer. No, we're going to stick with Jeff Garcia. I think Jeff Garcia has too much talent though. Jeff Garcia doesn't even know. I mean, Brian Hoyer has too much talent.

You clearly haven't seen enough of JJ Ratterink. Oh, I think I have though. I miss episode why they got rid of him though. And he wins them two games. Because he couldn't stop throwing intersections. Four. Well, they couldn't protect him. Yeah, they couldn't protect him.

And even when they did, he couldn't make the right decisions. The problem with these guys is that they were, they came in with unreasonable expectations. Very much so. And then they weren't immediately winning and everybody panicked. Except for the two fucking dudes from kiss who knew nothing about football. Everybody else is losing their shit. All these arena football veterans are all like, what do we fucking do?

The reason I didn't like the coach is because every game you just come in, screaming his tits off at the players. Even the games that are winning, he was screaming. I was like, dude, if you just scream it all the time, people are just going to turn off. So they just start cutting people left and right, making desperation trades. But I think that was Rhett Bush's fault. I think he started meddling and he started making calls to these other players and forcing them to hold open tryouts and all this shit.

I think he exacerbated the whole thing. Oh, he was the worst. He's fucking trying to make trades at halftime. Yeah, he's calling people to get them out of retirement. Who's that quarterback they want to get out of retirement? He's basically, I wrote down, he's the poor version of Jerry Jones. Oh yeah, and his face just makes him look like such a weasel. He's definitely got a very punchable face.

He's got the handlebar mustache. Yeah, the Foo Man Chew. Like that was his style. Wasn't ironic at all. With like the Foo Man Chew that was his haircut too, where his forehead started at the top of his head. And then for some reason he kept all the hair like behind it. And it kind of just like, it was like super light and flowy.

It was kind of like, like flowed out backwards as if he had just come off a motorcycle. But I don't think he definitely didn't drive a motorcycle. He's the CEO of a solar energy company called Freedom Forever. And I think he used to be like, just like, you know, one of those like finance guys, what do they call those venture capitalists kind of guys? Yeah, angel investors. Yeah, I think that's how he made his money.

And so I found this interview with him. I don't even know who it's with. I don't know if he just like interviewed himself. But it's just like your typical awful bullshit. So here is him talking about the importance of company culture. We're focused on creating an incredible culture. And I know everybody says that. But then actually executing on that vision is different.

If you came to our office, you would understand. We have a 34,000 square foot square feet in our corporate headquarters in Temecula, California. We have a big 6,000 square foot room that we call the fun room, because an arcade of 60 different actual old retro video games. We have a ping pong table. We have foosball. We have shuffleboard. Looks like Dave and Buster is without the bar.

The reality of today's economy is that when you take out the sleep that you're doing at home, a lot of people and your senior people are at work more than they're home now. It's really important for me for our employees to have a great life work balance. But when they're there, make sure it's a great experience and they can have fun. Where was that shit for the kiss? Right.

He's the worst like people manager I've ever seen. It's it's gone. Yeah, I'm good. I'm leaning towards firing you. The dude's like, well, just fire me then. He's like, no, I'm telling you that I'm thinking I'm going to fire you next week. Oh, yeah, that'll make me work real hard. Yeah.

And the coach comes in and like, I just want to make it clear. I want to have full control of football. But it's like, yep, yep, get it three weeks into the air. He's already like trying to trade the fucking quarterback. Yeah. What happened to let him have control of the team? That's probably a good spring. Bringing that again.

I missed how they got the even older quarterback. Well, that's what happened was this guy went and literally called the guy up at half time being like, hey, we need you to come out of retirement. Would you do he was in retirement? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Because he was this guy in quarterback slash offensive coordinator.

Yeah. Well, he came into the league the same year that the coach Bob did. They're rookie years the same year. And he's like, he's like a legend of the game. Yeah. Yeah. He's said like a whole bunch of passing records and has like a whole bunch of championships. And he calls his own plays.

He doesn't, he doesn't need like an offensive coordinator because he is the offensive. He's calls him on the, on the, the fields. Yeah. Yeah. Unless he gets hurt, spoiler alert, unless he hurts his ribs and, and then he can't speak because his ribs hurt. Yeah. He can't breathe.

So he can't even call plays from the sidelines. So then you just have no place back up and he doesn't know the call and the, and the coach no longer knows what the plays are cause the coach just says, just call whatever you like to the back up quarterback. He's like, all right, I like a pick six. Which is exactly thrown as far as immediately throws an interception. Yeah. Shocking that, isn't it?

Oh, it was just, it was the worst run organization I've ever seen. But I think like from the beginning when they, they had the first meeting with the coaches and Brett, they call him Brett Bushy, but his last name is spelled B-O-U-C-H-Y. So the fact that doesn't rhyme with douchey just So we're going to call him Brett Bushy from that one. Um, but in his first meeting with the coaches, he floated the idea of making the players wear a kiss makeup during the game. Yes.

What's funny is I said that like five minutes before he did. I was like, wouldn't be ridiculous if they didn't wear the makeup. And the look on the coach's face. Even just was like, that's fucking tacky shit. Yeah, that's what, that's what I want to get at too. Is those, I've really liked Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons. I couldn't say they were, I thought they were insufferable. Here's a, here's some, you like them even more.

They fired Brett and Skylar after this. Oh, nice. This is their only year. They brought in a different guy to lead the team. Good. That makes me like them slightly more. Why do you dislike the Mandy? I just thought they were fucking, ah, they were insufferable.

Their whole, I don't know, just everything that they did rub me the wrong way. It's not giving me many examples. Well, how about the fact that all they could talk about was how the fact that they had been together for 40 years. But then halfway through one of the episodes, they're talking about replacing everybody and they're like, oh, well, you know, when we had to, because all the coaches, like we're sticking together, they basically said, like, if you fire one of us, you find all of us. Cause they, they would try to fire the Scott Bailey, the player personnel guy.

Yeah. And then they're like, well, you know, sometimes you, you have to do what it takes to be famous. And our record label, when we first started said, you have to get rid of this one guy. And so we said, yeah, fuck it. That's fine. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, I kind of respect it. Yeah, I feel that they were, they were like RKK-esque, you know?

Involved, not overly involved, cared about the brand and the way it's being stewarded, but let them do their jobs. Yeah. They didn't, they were like, they were completely honest about not knowing much about football and they didn't try and meddle in the football things. They'd even asked, like, do you think we need to address a quarterback? You know? I contributed where they could, like with all the promoting and leveraging the Kiss brand and all that.

Yeah. I love them. I don't know. It felt to me like they were just in it to promote Kiss and not like a football team. Well, yeah. It's like, this whole thing is just like over the topness and like, that's there. They're not actually good musicians.

Whoa, whoa. We're just taking shots left and right here. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I hope no Kiss guys listen to this because they're not going to be happy. I mean, I'm not saying they're like bad, but they're not like epically good, right? Well, you want to get into this? Let's, do you want to go down and talk Kiss a little bit? You do, Greg, clearly.

Yeah. Well, I, I mean, I knew nothing about Kiss going into this. Everybody knows the stupid face paint shit. Yeah. Which again, is part of their brand and why they're good branding. Yeah. But they're, I mean, there's, they're a really successful band, regardless if you like the music or not. Yep.

They've sold a fuckload of albums, like 75 million albums. They have the most gold records of anybody ever, I guess, because they just were pumping out studio albums. They have like 30 plus studio albums. And then the other aspect is that people say they have like the most money made off merchandise, probably other, more so than any other band ever. So that's been part of their thing forever has been like, yeah, let's merge it, you know? Yeah.

No, I think they're a great marketing and branding and like business people. I don't think they're like a particularly epic musicians though. Yeah. But I don't know if they ever like sold themselves that, right? I think they were like, yeah, we put on a great live show. Yeah. We mark it well. And to be fair, like that was kind of the feeling I got is that they were way more savvy business

men than I had anticipated. And it would make sense for how they brand their band. Yeah. I don't really think about this until I watched this where they were like, yeah, and like, we've sent people home from the band. We like kicked them out of the band. And when you have that face paint, it doesn't like it's the paint, not the people. So you can kick someone out the band and no one's even gonna know because you paint the

next guy like a cat. Dude, the cat guy, what a, he got the shaft. Like they all he's like, they get to like pick their own up because that may have just been his own fault. All right. Look, oh, I always wanted to be a cat. Now I'm a lizard. Next 40 fucking years.

Oh man. Wish I hadn't picked a cat. The cat. He's got fucking whiskers, dude. He looks so stupid. But I looked at, I like, I went down a rabbit hole of all the ridiculous like kiss merchandise you can get. And some of it's pretty in his house that they had dinner.

Gene Simmons house with the whole team. Yeah. That's probably the very tippy tippy ice cream. Maybe it looked like he had a story. So the, so one thing they had on Wikipedia was between 1977 and 1979, they sold a hundred million dollars worth of merchandise. It's a lot for back then too. Yeah, for three years.

So a couple, a couple of things that jumped out. One was they did a comic book with Marvel where each of the band members had blood drawn and then they put it in the ink that was used for the comic book. Oh my God. It's genius. It isn't, but okay. That's a lark. And another thing is the kiss casket.

Yep. So caskets. Yeah. Caskets spelled with a K. So exactly what you think it's what people get buried in. And like, I was just like, scroll Google images and I was like, Oh my God, a casket. And I was like, I wonder if this is something you could actually buy. And not only is it something you can buy, but it,

it has its own fucking Wikipedia page. Just the casket. There's too many Ks in kiss casket. Yeah. There are one K away from it being problematic. If it's kiss casket, there's three in there. You spell casket with two Ks, bud. But you don't capitalize the third one.

Depends on who you are. Dimebag. Dimebag Darrell from Pantera. He was buried in a kiss casket. Have you guys heard the story about how Dimebag died? Oh man. That is the most mental death in the history of heavy metal music. This is where my rabbit hole ended up is he's playing a show with his other band

at some like night club in Ohio. Step back. He used to be the lead guitarist for Pantera. Yes, Pantera. The biggest band in metal, really. Yeah. Like super talented guitars. Yeah.

He was like, they were like the heavier version of Metallica. So if you want something more metal than Metallica, you go Pantera usually. And I never really listened to Pantera, but because I went down this rabbit hole, I started checking them out and they are so kick ass. Oh yeah. You're right. It's like true headbanger music. Yeah.

But it's heavy. Yeah. So he's playing at a night club in Ohio and a deranged fan rushes the stage with a nine millimeter semi-automatic pistol, shoots dime bag. The head of security tackles him, shoots the head of security, shoots a fan, shoots like an employee of the venue. It's a quadruple homicide. And then a police officer shows up and kills him with a 12-gate

shotgun to the head. Quad. Just so fucking metal, man. Yeah. So he literally, and apparently the guy shot him because he didn't like the fact that dime bag had left Pantera and was now with his new band's damage band. Yep. And so that's why he shot him.

But that's how he died, was playing metal on a stage at some night club in Ohio. It doesn't get any more metal than that. Yeah. The police officer, James Niggie Meyer. Gotta be careful with that one. James Niggie Meyer. Hell yeah. No, Niggie.

It's a hutz. Okay. You can watch your mouth, Andy. How dare you. And I-G-G-E-N-E-Y-E-R. Yeah. It all hinges on that middle E there. That's true.

You're gonna get the F in there. Yeah, you were going to be a hardy, not a softy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Well, this has been a rabbit hole, hasn't it? Did your rabbit hole lead you to the most ridiculous kiss item?

How was it, this? Please do explain. Way more ridiculous. I guess it's kind of like the circle of life with the kiss condoms. Oh, yeah. I read about them. I didn't see them though. Also condoms with a K.

Yep. And it's like Gene Simmons' face on it, but his tongue is like half the condom. How about this? Oh, I got an idea. If they haven't brand it yet. The kiss carpet with a K. And just like carpet with a huge, like your whole house carpet with just like pictures of Gene Simmons' tongues taking off.

Oh my gosh. Do you imagine? Now we're getting somewhere. I don't know that we are. Ooh, ooh, the kiss catheter. Now we're working with something. We're back into my industry here. Hey, I was going to say I knew working in that industry.

What would that look like, Greg? Well, I mean, you'd have a tough time getting it through the FDA, but the marketing would be easy. I would agree. Well, what part of the catheter would be painted is the tongue, I wonder. Oh, obviously the catheter body. And then you have the extension lines be some like his eyes or face, you know, so it looks like he's sticking his tongue into wherever you're inserting that catheter. Right.

That's not where I thought this was headed. But all right. Yeah, I'll bring it to my CEO. See what he thinks. Okay, sounds good. We're worried. Oh, so you want to hear about Kelly, my wife crying during the show. Can you guess what point she cried at?

When BJ made the team. When BJ made the team, I looked over and Kelly was weeping on the couch. I started missing up a little bit, not going to lie. Did it worry you? Okay, wait, wait, just not to backtrack, but to backtrack. There's a Gene Simmons toilet paper holder where it looks like the roll of toilet papers coming out of his mouth as it's done. Red toilet paper.

I guess if we got red toilet paper, we could. This is just using a picture of white toilet paper. Apparently it was big in Japan. It just does feel like a very Japanese. Yeah, there is red toilet paper. Well, how do you know? How do you know if you're shitting out blood though? I thought that's why they made it white.

Oh, good boy. All right, back to BJ. Oh, yeah, that's right. We were talking about the roster, weren't we? The Bell Brothers. It feels like such a like that. There we go. So BJ and Bo Bell.

Yep. The Ash Brothers in the middle of that, the heart of that defense. Yeah, so it was Bo that was like the actual quality. He was a linebacker with like the linchpin. Pro bowler, yeah. And then they were like, dude, no one wants to play arena football. My brother like played in, you know, when he was 13, should he try out? It's like, no, we play play together in high school

because his mom wanted him to play together again. Yeah. And she didn't care. She was less enthused than I thought she would be. Exactly. They were like, they were trying to play that storyline because it's AMC. And they're like, the two brothers, will they end up on the team together? Yeah.

And like their mom will be so proud and she just clearly didn't give a shit. Yeah. She's like, oh, that's great. Well, how much do you think like the producers had any say in it as well? Like you have to keep both. So we have a storyline for sure. Oh, yeah. Or she makes the jobs, the coach's job even harder.

Now, like you have these two fucks with no idea what the hell they're doing as your bosses, you have this AMC being like, you need to keep this guy who sucks at the game so we can have a storyline. Yeah. But you knew that going in. Oh, yeah. For sure. So BJ, they, and this is a problem I have with all these shows.

Like Kelly watches a decent amount of them where it's these reality shows where they chop them up and they like, they're clearly like have a storyline that isn't necessarily a storyline. But the way they edit the footage, you can tell when they'll do it a lot where they have like someone will say something and then they'll like pull a reaction from a different angle that you can tell isn't actually a reaction to what the person was saying. And then just slot it in there and like put like, ooh, silence and cricket noises in the right in the audio. So it makes it look like they like didn't react well to it, but it's bullshit.

Oh, there's even a reality show about the producers of reality shows now. Wait, good. I'd be interested in that. Yeah. Which I don't think it's reality. It's like a fake show about the producers of a fake reality show. That's even better. Or it's like where they're like manipulating all the people to try and generate storylines.

Even the even the football scene, I don't even mind it that much when it's like, you know, whatever TV show, but the football things were driving me crazy because I couldn't keep track of what the scores of the games were. Oh, yeah, that was driving me nuts. Cutting to like clips of like a ball floating through the air. I'm like, oh, the ball floating through the air clip. And it was the same clip over and over again. Every time it was a deep ball, like in the like they show a play in the quarterback

and throw a deep ball, then they cut to this clip of this, this ball flowing through the air. It's like in an empty stadium. Whatever they, they clearly were like, yo, go, go to the stadium and just get a clip of a ball thrown at you. So I just threw a ball in the air and they shot it. A ball hitting the netting for like every, every kick. That was driving me crazy. There's also the like the quote unquote play by play announcer.

That was just like setting up a script. Cause he'd say things that like no play by play announcer would ever say. Yeah. And the audio just didn't like make sense. Like you hear audio from a game and you can tell like it's live, but this guy's clearly just like reading over the whatever they had, you know, the highlights. Yeah. It's 100% recorded after the fact.

And like where was his commentator or his color guy? Yep. It was just one, which made it awkward. And he was advancing the script. Honestly, I would, I would imagine that AFL games probably only have one guy doing the radio and not a team of two. Yeah, I think if I did, I think JJ would be great in the booth. Put him and Colt Brennan together. Colt, Colt wasn't there all the way, right?

No, no, yeah. He definitely has some stuff going on. I felt pretty bad for him actually. Yeah, I know you too. He definitely broke down when they told him like he'd probably never play football again. You can tell that blindside the shit out of him. That was definitely real. Yeah, I felt bad for him.

And that's the thing. Some of these shows, like if they, if they had real moments like that, it'd be like authentic and compelling television, but for some reason they feel the need to like manufacture it, you know? That's the word. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't, wasn't great. But also not great was I'm looking up JJ Ratterinck's stats on the season in 2014

when he played for Los Angeles. Spoiler alert. He only played for them for one year. So the two years before in 2012, he threw forward 93 touchdowns and 10 interceptions. Pretty good. That's what I'm saying. This year, he threw 38 touchdowns. Pretty good.

19 interceptions. What about the other team he played for when they traded him? 22 touchdowns, one interception. Boom. What's the problem here? Ooh, not in the offensive line. Coaching. Offensive line turnover.

It's fucking, it's fucking Scott's fault. Dude, he went to go play arena football in China. Well. The China arena football league. Imagine how wild that is. He was drafted in the 12th round by them in the 16 draft. And he went 82, 144, 1100 yards, 20 touchdowns, seven interceptions. It's pretty good.

Yeah. Coach Bob, his record, let's see the other side of this. He was with Chicago for three years before coming to LA. And he finished 33 and 21 for a 6-11 win percentage. And one and two in the playoffs. Lost in the conference championship and the conference semifinals. It's not that good. So 13 and five and then 10 and eight two seasons in a row.

Pretty good. And not great. Can we talk? Can we talk about Schuyler? Because I don't think we've hated on him enough yet. No, definitely not. All right. Yes.

You mean Schuyler? The fact that your name is Schuyler isn't bad enough. How do you spell it again? S-C-H-U-Y-L-E-R. Yeah, you can't get Schuyler out of that. Sorry. S-C-H is like how you spell school. So it's Schuyler, not Schuyler.

Why you call it Schuyler? Yeah. Yeah. What do you call it? No, I mean, it makes sense, but it's still a dickhead way to sell it. Just spell it like everybody else spells it. Ain't that shit? So hang on.

So I just want the listeners to paint a picture of what they think Schuyler looks like. And I guarantee you, you're fucking dead off. Picture him in your head. Schuyler, Schuyler, Hoversten. Yeah. So just picture. And you've got it. I guarantee it.

The director, like he's like the director of entertainment for a kiss-affiliated arena football league team. Just. Yeah, he wasn't the director. But he's like VP or. He's a co-owner, right? But essentially his function was, right? He was like.

He's president. He didn't do shit. No. And he's like the worst like, you know, those people in my corporate life where they're just like, depending on the audience, they're different, you know? Where he was like kissing ass and deferring to anyone like a bubble, like a yes man. And then the people below, maybe like a tough guy, like those are the worst people. All right.

Do you want to hear his Instagram bio? Yep. Oh, do I? Heck, exact investor, traveler, tequila. Live the way you imagined or better. What a fucking ass. So. Glass of him holding the wine.

Glass of him on a carpet. Glass of him or him in front of a private jet. Him and Aspen. Him with skis on his back. Him looking wistfully into a camera at a bar. Him with a golden retriever. His golden retriever with ski goggles. Him holding a knee board saying Mexico is the shit shirt on.

Him on a motorcycle not moving. Looking badass like he owns his Harley. Oh my God. And the thing about this guy, right? Is he's like, if he's like a kind of like a classically good looking person, right? He's sweet. Is she's got like a long flowing blonde hair, you know, dresses really nice. But he's so ugly on the inside.

You know, did you get that feeling where you just look at him and you're like, God, that guy is hideous. It's just a shell of a man. Yeah. There's just nothing inside. And like every mannerism like made you cringe. Yeah. And every single time he would have the exact same outfit on,

but every single piece was was a different one, you know what I mean? So it was like, it was the pop collar with the vest on for some reason. Yeah. But it was always a different color shirt and a different color vest. So he like, that's what his closet is, is that. And probably like dark designer jeans. Yeah. This guy just screams LA.

You know, oh my God. Yeah. He, uh, my, my question is, I just want to know what his dad did to be rich. So that he, oh yeah. This kind of guy. Well, until January, he was the president of music. All music at dynasty sports and entertainment. Oh, okay.

That one is like that. Did you guys see the episode where he brought in like? Wait, wait, wait. He has one, two, three, four, five other jobs or is until present. What is he doing with himself? This is, we've got five jobs. He just ended his one in January. Wait, there's a hockey player.

With the exact same name, he does look kind of like a player with that flow and a lot. Like he played in two games and a HL for the Springfield, Jr. Blues back in 2000. I don't know if that's the same guy, but how many? No, it can't be. I'm sure you'll air a Homer stains are there. Yeah, like he definitely didn't build his own wealth. Did he? Like that's the feeling I got.

Yeah, I mean, he didn't, he didn't come off as a very savvy business person. No. Did you see the episode where he brought in the expert guy, the entertainment expert? Yeah, for the home opener. And then the guy just like didn't fucking show up for anything. Yeah, he didn't come off as a very savvy business person. And the guy just like didn't fucking show up for anything. And so the kiss, like the guy who kiss usually has to do that sort of stuff,

like had to take it all over the last minute. And they were doing like the intros for the players and they have like, you know, flames on the field, like strobe lighting. And they were going to drop them in this like cage looking thing from. Yeah, from the sealers. Yeah, which is badass. Objective, which is. Yeah, you know, it's sweet.

But then JJ missed the boss. Yeah. It's supposed to be the four captains on the, on the actual platform that dropped on the ceiling. But it dropped before everybody could get there. So there's only two of the guys made it onto the platform before it dropped. And then the other two had to take the elevator down to the field. Yeah, they had to walk all the way back down. There was a moment in there that made me love JJ.

Like, he goes, the other guys look, well, you know, maybe next game. There was a laugh out loud moment. Yeah, no, I can't look it. That was fantastic. And they had like, just to paint the picture, they had like halftime shows where dudes would, you know, they'd set up ramps for dirt bike guys and they'd come out and do backflips. They had like, they had, they didn't have cheerleaders. They had dancers.

Yeah. And they had hot chicks playing the guitar for the national anthem, but they try and play it like Jimi Hendrix. And then she forgot, she forgot how to play it. Yeah. Walk kisses at attendance too. Yeah. They had the fucking head coach out on the field.

Like helping them set up like equipment before the season opener, just because they were so short on time. They had to push the, they had to push the doors because they weren't ready for the season opener. The season opener they weren't ready for. So I looked up like the LA Kisses total. They did three seasons and they actually made the playoffs in the third season. And they had to have their playoff game in San Diego because the Honda Center was sold to the Ringling Brothers when they're supposed to have their game.

And then they tried to do it the next day and it was sold to WWE. So like the only like carnival in town got booted by another two carnivals. They should do a Ringling Brothers Arena football team. We should, we should put together an arena football team. No, no, we shouldn't. It just folded. Clearly it doesn't work. Steve, I just think they haven't done it right.

I don't know. Why would anyone think this was a good idea? I think it probably was a decent idea. I think if you did it like they did, what was the other football league that they used to have? To XFL? Oh, no. The USFL.

Oh, there was like a, that failed. Well, that was actually becoming really popular until Donald Trump ruined it. Oh, let's not get political here, Andy. Oh, no, no. Haven't you seen the 30 for 30 on it? On the USFL? Like what they did is basically they, they dropped a shit ton of money on guys coming out of college.

Andy, it was a beautiful league. The best. It was the best, most competitive league you've ever seen. Everybody's saying it, people are saying it. But yeah. And like they, because they actually got Steve Young, I think to play in it. Yeah. And Doug Flute and like some other big name talent.

Jim Kelly. Yes. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Because the big games were Jim Kelly and CEO. So it was actually like starting to gain some momentum. And then I think Trump bought a team and then use his influence to,

because what they would do is they would, they were like a spring league. So they would play opposite when the NFL was on. So they never competed directly with the NFL that way except for players. And so, but then Trump bought a team and used his influence to, to force the rest of the league to go along with him, where they tried to play at the same time as the NFL. And they just got fucking wiped out. But up until then, it was actually like gaining ground.

And it was, it was becoming like an actual, an actual league and making. And bum, the XFL restart didn't get going or kind of had to get folded, right? With all the COVID stuff going on. Yeah. Those DC games are electric. Did you get any? It's a novelty, dude.

I heard they're pretty fun. And they had that beer snake going on, which also looked awesome. But that only gets you so far. You know, I mean, they're playing in like the soccer stadium, the new soccer stadium there. So like a better, you know, stadium for the product. Yeah, that makes sense. But like, think about it though, right?

You still have all the same issues as the NFL, right? You still have the, the brain damage thing. And you're, and no one's making any money. So it's not going to, it wouldn't, it was never going to work. I don't know. It's never going to work, dude. People don't want, they'll go to, if something's new, but it's never going to stick around unless you have the best players.

Right. That's why the MLS like isn't, is still like nothing compared to, you know, the Premier League or something. Well, I mean, yeah, that's true. Where it's like people go to those games, yeah, because of themselves because they're not paying anybody actual money. Right. And, or like women's sports.

Oh boy. No one will ever take them serious because they're bad. You're saying you'd rather watch a U.S. men's national team game over women's national team game? Yes, I would not. Well, that's because you're a gamer. I'd rather watch success. I'm with Andy.

I think that may be the only one that I can come up with, where I'd rather watch the women's version. But it doesn't appeal to you at all about like, to me, that seems like you're just like riding a coattail of like bandwagon fan, you know? Okay, success is success. Okay, success is success. Okay.

What about like the women's national basketball team? Are they successful? Is that a thing? Yeah. I mean, they're probably the best in the world, right? I don't know. Yeah, maybe. Well, definitely, dude.

We're the best at basketball without a doubt. Without a doubt, men and women's. Wait, I had this to beat the other day. Actually, it wasn't the day, it was more of a rant. Why do we play international rules basketball? We invented the fucking game. Same with hockey. Well, hockey, maybe I can say it's starting in Canada, but still.

Why the hell we play in international rules? To give other people a chance. Oh, fuck that. Oh, we still dunk on their asses. I'm just saying, right? Just because you're the best in the league doesn't mean that I want to watch. Like women's soccer, to me, I think is pretty good because it's fairly competitive. The U.S. are the best and like,

visually the drop off between men and women's soccer isn't that much. But like you watch basketball and it's like, I'm not watching WNW. Well, this is a completely different sport, you know? So it's like, to me, and it's the same thing, right? You watch arena football and the product is just or XFL. It's not even close to the NFL. I disagree.

I think it's as close. I think XFL is as close to the NFL as women's soccer is to men's soccer. Using your analogy. I think it's close enough. But then the argument is like, okay, so there's a Patriots that suck and there's like the best team in the XFL. You're going to go to an XFL game over a Pats game? If it's my team, yeah, why not?

That's wild. Steve, thoughts? If there was a New Hampshire XFL team, you goddamn right, I'd go to that. If I mean, I would rather watch the DC XFL team than the Washington Redskins. That's because they're better. That's because they're actually better. Wasn't that what you were saying, Greg? Well, that's like, that's different, though.

That's, uh, it's not like. The environment at the environment at a DC game, whatever the fuck they were called, would be better than the Redskins environment. The stadium sucks. It's in the middle of goddamn middle of nowhere in Maryland. Half of it is tarped off. It's half unsold or a DC. Like it's a smaller stadium and they play where the DC United play.

So it's full. They got the beer snake, which is like their thing, you know, I'd still go to a, I'd still go to an NFL game. Do you have a game in Raleigh right down the street from you? I go, I go, if I had to go to DC or a Redskins game or whatever, the hell the XFL team was called, I go to a Redskins game. No, they're the best of the best. Yeah, but you're giving Dan Snyder your money too.

Yeah. I don't give a shit about Dan Snyder. I don't want to perpetrate that douche. It was eight dollars. Pay more in gas to get here. I think actually weren't, weren't XFL tickets more expensive at one point than Redskins tickets? Yes. Yeah, they were giving away Redskins tickets last year.

It was ridiculous. Which is hysterical. But I mean, I think, I think there is space for another football team. Because I mean college football, that level of talent isn't as good as the NFL, but people watch that, right? I think it's just. Arguably it is, I think. It's just raw.

It's just, it's not, I mean, it's a bit more, it's more just distributed, distributed, distributed. But they're all the players that end up in the NFL, right? So these guys clearly have talent. They're just like raw talents. We'll see what happens with the college basketball now that they can go right to the G League and get paid. Oh yeah. College basketball is done for. Don't say that.

You don't say that. Speaking of talent, the best player on the LA Kits. No, I think we need to talk about the star of the show. We haven't done it yet. Let me guess. Star of the show. You got to guess, Steve. I mean, I was going to go down the bow bell rabbit hole, but I guess.

I mean, coach house. That's exactly what we've got to end them. Coach house. That's what I was going to say. All right. Let's talk about the bow bell. We're an hour and a half in, bro. Wait, wait, wait.

Let's talk about Captain Morgan first. Guy's a talent. How did he never make the NFL? You think he caught a couple passes? In the NFL? What was his name? Somebody, somebody stat check this. We got a stat check.

I did a stat check that you got like four, four passes, maybe. What do you play for? The bills or the Eagles? Well, they were, because at the beginning they had that defensive back who. Donovan was going to make the Eagles, but then he missed the bus to the last preseason game. And they basically told him, yeah, that was your chance. Yo, I've been there for 42.

You're already on the team, Greg. Yeah, I did that. I literally did that. I know we've talked. Well, your coach didn't even notice until you called him. Captain Morgan played for the Jets, the Texans, the Chiefs, and the Bills on training camp only in the Bills. He got three, he played three games with the Texans in 2005, caught four passes, 42 yards.

Did you ever catch a touchdown pass in the NFL? No, I'm surprised at that. He's not the, he's not the best player of the NFL resume on there. Who is? Colbell was drafted by the Browns fourth round, one of four overall. He was their first draft pick that year. They must have traded away all of their first, second, and third round picks. That doesn't sound like a Brown.

Classic, classic Browns. It kind of sucks that he like, he got a knee injury in the senior bowl. And then he got his knee scoped his rookie year and then got placed on IR in December and then didn't make the camp the next year. And it's the, that just kind of goes to show like, dude, he was sick in college, the Mountain West Conference defensive MVP, drafted in the fourth round and then just like a poorly timed injury, pushed him to the fourth round. I said, you might even been a first rounder.

And they never like recovered in the first year and then see you later. But he played 2010 to 2017 in the arena bowl or in the arena league. I'm sure it did. For a lot of teams. He seemed like a nice guy. Yeah, he seemed like. His brother was a little too upbeat for me. Yeah, I knew it would be.

You know, it's like, come on, dude. Hey, you don't have that happy. He didn't have that competitive edge. Yeah, needed a killer edge. Yeah, he was just happy to be there. All right. So now do we get to the star of the show? Hoss.

Big Hoss. Coach House. Walt Hausman. He's a legend. He is. So he's actually born in Marshall, Missouri, which is weird because he all talks about his time in New Hampshire. And he says he's from New Hampshire.

So he must have like went out there. But he went to Merrimack High School, Merrimack, New Hampshire. Same high school that my wife graduated from. Going Red Hawks, I think they are. Let's go. Let's go Red Hawks. I don't actually know. They are not the Red Hawks.

It's something like that. Come on. How do we not know this? Well, let's play them in high school. That's what I mean. Yeah. Must have. Right.

Tomahawks. Problematic. I just saw a censored there. Who knew? Wolf. So Coach House actually played football. Who do you play as? What does he say?

Do we know? Oh, American football offensive tackle. Played one season with the Saints in the NFL back in 1987 and played in the AFL as well. Probably as an offensive lineman, I would think. But in this, he was the assistant coach. And he was, I think, the most interesting person by a long shot in this whole series.

Or kept wishing for more Coach House. The fact that they didn't have more Coach House is criminal, I think. Goddamn shame. He should have his own show, I think, whatever the fuck he's doing now. I don't know what he's doing now, but whatever it is, somebody should be fucking building it.

That's true. If you're looking to generate storylines, that was the guy, right? Yeah. Yep. Like the first time you saw him, he was introducing himself to the team or something and talking about how this was his first season of coaching

that he hadn't been with his cat. Yeah. And he's like, what's up, you bunch of slap dicks? First of all, this is the only year I haven't been with my cat. It's written in the office. It's like, dude. Off from the Hampshire. Yeah, it's like, dude, this guy's electric.

There is one where he, like, he said like a replacement for a swear word and then went back and corrected himself with the swear word. He was by far the most bleeped person in this whole thing, but you can still understand exactly what he was talking about. But he definitely, at least in this, I thought he looked like he should be in like a 90s, late 90s, early 2000s rock band. Like if you told me he was a member of Hoobastank,

I would have thought, yeah, I could see that. Hoobastank. Hoobastank. I don't know why Hoobastank. Yeah, what? He seems like he's too big for that. He's a big boy. Also, I mean, he's like a meaty version of like the lead singer

of one of those bands, like a Hoobastank type of band. Why? Because this is a goatee. Yeah, and just like the bleach blonde hair and just the, you know, you could have been in Hoobastank, Andy. I'm not blonde enough. Or musically talented enough. But thanks, Craig.

You're welcome. Just gave me an excuse to say the word Hoobastank. But so how many quotes did you write down from from Coach Hans? Because he was using the most quotable guy. I didn't take any notes at all. Me either. I'm not being honest. That was one quote that really stuck out in my mind

that I thought was so fucking funny. I'm curious if it's the same one that I came up with. It probably is. When he was freaking out on the on the interception term for touchdown. Well, he's in the. No, he's in the locker room. What about playing cover zero?

No, when he was like, you got to go out there and you got to fuck them up. He's like, just put your dicks in them. That maybe is go to because I think it was the first game where like right at the end of the game, they returned an interception that I think set up the winning field goal. And at the beginning of the play, it was like a deep ball and he's like, I don't love this at all.

Yes, I love it. And then he pointed it back and they cut back. He was like, stick it in the asshole. Now he's a. That's just him being excited for a play that's happening in front of him. Yeah, man. But that at half time of that, I think it was the same game. Or maybe it's a different game, but he's talking about like,

I fucking love you guys, but half of all love ends in divorce. Look at the fuck out there. He wasn't like freaking out every game. He was freaking out just enough. Yeah, yeah, you know, like losing his shit when he broke. They're like quotable, too. So it was like, all right, that's just who houses, you know. Oh, when he smashed that that whiteboard up, that was like AMC's.

They must have used that in all their commercials and everything. Yeah. Yeah. You fucking slap. Dicks where they kiss was going to be on ESPN. So they brought house in to explain football to him. And he's like literally just immediately in the weeds, like trying to explain to them what like cover zero was and everything.

Like a single high safety. And he gave them their playbooks. He's like, if you lose easy, you find like fucking hell. He's a football. And then one of the kids guys like, so how many heart attacks have you had? He was like, no, I'm 50 years old. I'm hyper. Fuck yeah.

Did you watch the last episode, Andy? I watched the first half of it. I didn't get to finish before we did. Before we did this. Did you see his like? I did. So this is kind of how I wanted to end this whole episode. Yeah.

Cause this is what makes him actually legit. Like all the other shit was just like funny and he's like football guy. But this, this was actually like him being a quality dude. Yeah. Walk me through it. So they're, they end the season going, what three and 15 or something like that. Yep. And they like the second or last game they lose to like a team that was even worse than them.

If they won that game, they would have been in the playoffs. Yeah. Like every team except one makes a playoffs, I guess from the sounds of it. Yeah. Handlebar Brett is on a warpath. Like him and Skyler call in each of the three coaches individually into his office. Yeah. Their goal is to fire Scott, the player personnel guy.

Right. So they first, they bring in the head coach and they're like, your whole staff blows. You guys are terrible. We're going to, we're just going to fire Scott. We're thinking about firing Scott. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm leaning towards it. Which made no sense. Yeah. And coach Bob's like, no. Yeah. He's like, I've been with these guys forever. Yeah. That's a terrible idea.

I take all responsibility. It's my fault. Fire me. If you're going to fire anybody, fire me. Yeah. Oh, I don't want to fire Scott. And then they brought in Scott and they're like, I'm thinking about firing you.

And Scott is just like, all right. Well, Scott was great. No, Scott was like, yeah. All right. I disagree. But if you're going to do it, you got to do it today. Yeah. You can't tell us when to fire you.

He's like, yeah, I can't. It's like, if you don't want to be here, just like, don't leave me hanging for two weeks. Like just fucking do it. Yeah. Just then they wouldn't. They couldn't do it. I thought that was great. And then they brought in Coach House by himself.

And they were like, they started out and they're like, we have talked to people in the league and you're the best defensive coordinator in. You're the best. Are we in the football league? Yeah. We want, we want to keep you on board. And he was like, oh, wow.

Because you can tell he's like, I didn't see this conversation going this way. And then they were like, but we're going to fire Scott. And he was just like, no. He's like, if Scott goes, I go. He starts like tearing up. And he was like, I've seen that kid grow from, you know, a kid that didn't always ask for him his elbow to be in the best word to sat in the corner to whatever he told him to do. He's like, if Scott goes, I'll leave him too.

I know that if you fire Scott, I will not come back. And like he's saying this through tears, like tears pouring out of his eyes. Oh, you know, amazing. Amy Goosebumps. Yeah. He's just a legend. You know, like Coach Bob and Coach House, those are guys you want to have coaching you because they, they go just like immediately went to bat for, for their guys, you know.

Yep. Their players all the time as much as they could. Yep. And they did it for each other. Like they, they knew that it's, it's one of them or all of them, you know. Well, even after like, when they were sitting in the restaurant and Scott had like his 15th massive lip in, he was like, well, at least this year, like none of us turned on each other. But like, we were all at each other's back the whole time.

Yeah. And even like the, the coach that they kept on, he's like, well, like, I can't quit because then I can't get hired, rehired for another year and I won't get any severance. So he was like a lame duck coach just sitting there. Yeah. Wait, so how did it end? Did they, did they, they brought in, they brought in Bob and Scott and they're like, yeah, Coach House is fishing in Nova Scotia, so he can't be here.

What? Yeah. Then they fired Scott and Coach Bob was like, yeah, he's like, you know, and Coach Bob was like, no, fire me. It's my fault, fire me. And like, no, we're going to fire Scott. You have to stay. So then they interview him afterwards.

He's like, yeah, I can't leave because then I wouldn't get, I can't, I guess he couldn't get rehired for another year and he wouldn't get any severance. But then I guess Kiss stepped in and fired those two fucks. Yeah. They looked so bad in that whole process. Yeah. It's like they're trying to scapegoat someone for like, you're an expansion team, like free wins is pretty good.

Just how this works. Yeah. And if you want to fire someone, you're going to fire the, the player personnel guy. Like what the fuck? Yeah. Clean house and coaching staff. Yeah. Especially when it was the one that got overran by a douchey in the first place.

Yeah. Yeah. They said they had 90 something transactions on a 25 man roster. It's just horrendous management. Like you have two options, right? Get rid of everyone, start clean, and then you're like showing that you're doing something or like back the group and be like, all right, I still trust you guys. We're going to go into next year with all of you guys intact.

And I believe in you. Instead, he like divides the team, makes everyone angry, increases tension, and has like half a fucking coaching staff. Like what? How is that your solution? It's like, you could even frame different like, dude, we can't afford a personnel guy. Yeah. Yeah.

They're just like point fingers and blame someone you know they're like best friends with and then fire that guy and be like, all right, so you're good for next year, right? It's like it's just ludicrous to think that would work. I don't know how these people get money. It's just baffling. You're just good at one thing and that's making money. And that's it. Yeah.

How I don't know. I'm pretty sure that dude lost a fuck ton of money in this. I hope so. I hope so. So do I. Yeah, there's not much on him on the internet, just in general, like after the kiss era. They were like, we're going to spend 50 grand a game in entertainment. Yeah.

So they had 10,000 people coming to each game. I know that I know that they I know that for a fact that let a minimum 10k. It's ridiculous. I don't know the math works. I don't think so. Because I mean, how expensive those tickets? Probably not that expensive. I think when we got our tickets, there were 10 bucks a seat.

Not great. And then you consider like actually paying for the arena to rent the arena. Yep. Yeah, that's true. They must spend hemorrhaging money. Being generous and saying they got 15,000 people there. They're spending three plus bucks on just entertainment of their ticket price. That's not including any of the overhead, any paying the players, anything else just on

entertainment above the football game. And if you're charged in 300 bucks a ticket, sure, that's 1%. That's L.A. baby. It's tough town. Yep. And L.A. likes winners and they didn't get one on this team. Again, like Greg said, their expectations were totally misset. Like you have to come you don't have to come into this.

I'm like, all right, I got some deep pockets. We can establish franchise suck for a couple of years, then get good with the right system and enough patients. But they started losing that losing streak. A couple of games in there is freaking out. All right, let's call a quarterback out of retirement. We need to win now sometimes. We need to win now.

Yeah, your business plan needs to be we come in with the expectation of losing more games than we win in the first year and we can survive. Yeah, we can survive because of XYZ. Then we turn a profit in year five. I would love to see their business plan for this. Did you hear how it started? KISS played the arena football championship game. I think the year before and at that game, they played the halftime show.

Yeah, interesting. Do she pitched him, I think, at the show? Yeah, because he was, I don't think he was a co-owner, but he had something to do with one of these. He is an exec or something, one of the teams, yeah. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Which, and that team would eventually go on to sue him for embezzling money off of him. No way.

Take a scalping thing, yeah. Sweet. I'll post that link, too. Although, I could probably sell KISS on the KISS carpet, KISS catheter, because I'm pretty sure they don't give a shit at all. They're like, oh yeah, I'm going to brand something, go ahead. Would you like the regular catheter or the KISS catheter? See, that makes $15,000, sir.

It is like the Trump thing, right? Where you, I'm pretty sure, I don't know what the finances were here, but I don't know if they were that invested financially. I don't think so, I think they're just... They're like a branding tool. Right. Maybe just like licensing their name or something. Right, it's the same thing Trump did with his hotels,

where they would pay Trump to use the name, but he's not financing the whole building or construction or anything like that. Yeah, it felt something like that. Yeah, it's like a purely marketing branding thing. Yeah, so Brett's the one that had all the money into it from the sound of it. They sound like that. Yeah, this is what I found from the Orange County Register, ex-partner, Sue's L.A. KISS executive.

The federal lawsuit file this week claims the managing partner of the L.A. KISS arena football league team mismanaged and diverted funds from the Florida team he previously owned. The suit filed blah, blah, blah, contends that Brett Bouchie committed fraud by profiting from tickets sold by scalpers to Orlando Predator Games. And it also said Bouchie didn't disclose all of the Florida team's debts when selling his majority share last year. So basically, he would take like 3,000 tickets per game, give them to this group of scalpers, and then they would also put the profits outside of like the actual ticket sales stuff.

That's probably how he got his money selling his stake in his team. Right. And then after the sale of the team, he delivered a balance sheet to where we sold it to showing $88,000 in liabilities, but that didn't disclose at least $450,000 now, sending loans and expenses. Whoops. That was that. Now that half a million, don't worry about that. Going off of $300,000, no big deal. Bouchie regularly received a split of Predator tickets sold by scalpers,

draining funds from the team's coffers. The team would regularly print an extra 3,000 tickets to Orlando Games, distributed to a broker, who would then give the tickets to scalpers. Money generated from the street sales were split among the scalpers, the broker, and Bouchie. I can't, I hate Brett. I can't believe there's that much demand for the games. I guess it's probably his walk up. Like, yeah, I'll go to the game today.

Right, exactly, yeah. But still, yeah, he's such a slimy, like, ski's ball. He's a weasel. Yeah, he's a weasel. Yeah. Yeah, definitely fits his look. Yeah. Personality.

So if you have some free time and you're looking for some football that you've never seen before, and you have an Amazon Prime account, or you want to watch it on wherever the fuck I found it, what did I say, Tubly or something? UB. Tuby. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, Tubytv.com. It's all on there for free.

Snapface. And I reckon. Bella Chex probably watched this just for, like, scouting. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I bet he scouted the. He heard that PJ Bell was a raw talent. Yeah.

So all right, I think that we've done almost two hours on the TV show that nobody's ever watched. Not bad, gentlemen. It's better than the 10 hours I spent watching it. Is it though? So that equally is bad. We'll call it that. Yeah, I'm sure Kelly's still crying. She listens to this.

Once you get to the point about where you slag on women's sports. She's heard that diatribe. A female soccer player. Just check the stats on our co-ed team. They speak for themselves. Yeah, so because you played soccer in college, which one of you scored more goals? Uh, neither. She didn't score goals?

No. Oh, but the team that we played together on Andy, Real Midriff, Division C, Tuesday nights, co-ed soccer. Yeah. You boys lighten it up. Division C. That'd be better than that. At least Division B.

No comment. They keep stats. No, I keep stats. I'd have more assists if the rest of them didn't fucking suck. So you get for playing co-ed, Greg? Do you want to call anybody out specifically here? Since we're doing this? Maybe they listen.

Maybe they listen to their game. Hey, Kelly. Yeah, she's got to use her left foot. What? Oh, I was just talking about you. I'm a podcast. She just came at the wrong time. Well, she could have listened to the episode to find out what she said.

And she'll have to wait like two hours to hear it. She'll have to wait like six months before you release this fucking thing anyway. Yeah. All right, gentlemen. This has been a pleasure. And hopefully this one has always. Part your from the regularly scheduled thing for whatever reason. And we'll see you next week on the Patriot Statency podcast.

See you later. See you.