Pendejo Time - Blow(My)Back(Out) [Ft. Noah Kulwin]

Episode Date: April 11, 2024

the longest episode we've ever done and one of my personal favorites with Noah Kulwin of Blowback. We talk 9/11, jewish guys, and why Christians love zipline so much. checkout blowback everywhere you get your podcasts.  sub to the bonus episodes at blowback.showSupport the Show.

Yeah, I don't understand. I guess because it's, you probably remember the National Enquirer, the dime store magazines that were like, Hillary Clinton gives birth to alien. Oh, yeah, yeah. I regularly subscribed National Enquirer, News of the World. News of the World was a good one. Yeah. I mean, it was definitely, like, I needed to know what Hillary Clinton's Grinch baby looked like.

Yes. And so whenever TMZ, like, drops something, I'm like, man, you guys could, you guys are missing out. Like, you have a whole other, you could, the world is insanely stupid. Like, you could, people will believe anything. So you could definitely, definitely like piece together some sources and have like a real life use ai if you want like hillary clinton gives birth to you know alien with three tits and people like the solar eclipse thing that just happened was like a solid reminder that i get every couple weeks that like people have completely lost their

minds they just they're like uh i was talking with thomas with this earlier like the other episode but it like when people were like oh the satellites they're nasa's launching they're the they're evil they're like evil satellites for like to get your soul and i was like oh okay these people have schizophrenia and then i looked up the name of the satellite and it was like al pep it was like the egypt Egyptian god of evil and darkness and like Ra's like ultimate enemy. And I was like, OK, they're fucking with people like they're doing this on purpose. Like some guy that works at NASA that like you could have named those satellites literally anything. But you were like, I mean, I I kind of believe that.

Also, like like that to me is in the same vein as like when the saudi arabia when saudi arabia posted like a 9-11 meme yes i think on 9-11 and they were like haha we could do it again which i thought it's like they're like they're laughing at us they were laughing at so awesome to be like uh best case scenario we did this uh worst case scenario you guys did this. Worst case scenario, you guys did it, kind of. Best case scenario, we did it, and you guys haven't. We do business together. We are close buds, close pals, or whatever. I've come back around to, I've decided I believe it was an accident.

Just like a whoopsie daisy? Yeah, I think that's my favorite explanation for it now is that they just like were bad at flying and they had to make up a whole thing about it you know what i mean back in the back in the day when you could just be you know an eight ball deep behind the wheel one of those things but uh but yeah i think if 9-11 happened again i'd be pissed off about it because that's that should never happen twice i mean it was i still remember that like you know because i was i was a kid uh and what i remember more than anything was that like i was i like i i was at like like you know like they can't you know school got let out earlier i don't even actually don't even know if they did

that even but like i remember you know neighbors came over whatever parents were like getting home from work and um i remember saying like damn just think of all those stores that are gone now like i was i was so cut up as like a six or like or no no i guess like an eight year old about like how uh you know how there would be no more wb store for me to go buy superman stuff my mom picked me up from school uh i was seven and uh she was one of those people we lived in a a small ish suburb of houston called pasadena there ain't fuck out there yeah um except like uh like gilly's barbecue and like a half-ass rodeo and like a bunch of fucking valero gas stations and she's on the way home and she's like they're gonna they're gonna start bombing

everywhere they're gonna come i'm really worried they going to come here because we have a lot of the oil plants. And I was like, even at seven, I was like, Mom, they're not bombing the Applebee's off 225 and 610. It's not. But everybody in that small town, when I went to church the next week, they did this big thing. And it was like, you never know who's next. It could be anybody, any town. thing and it was like you never know who's next it could be anybody any town and that collective mentality i think seeped into everyone's head to the point where people were legitimately like we've got out here in frog balls arkansas we're probably next you know we got yeah a lot of really

culturally and politically important things out here in the sticks or whatever i mean i i just like how it's you know the very obvious thing of like oh like these people probably think that like new york is like the center of all evil that it's like a you know it's it's a it's like a a giant demon portal yeah and they can't hit our demon portal that's our demon portal they can't do that that uh of, yeah, suddenly, which, which I understand. I empathize with, were you living in New York when that happened or no? I mean, well,

like in a, like my, where the town I grew up in, in Jersey is like, like 10, 15 miles from, from Manhattan. So when like the towers would,

you know, like for weeks after, remember like when we would go home from synagogue on Friday nights, there's like a lookout point where there's now a huge monument to nine 11. You guys were dancing. You guys are having a, you guys were dancing. Oh yeah. You know what? Yeah. Having a cookout. Yeah. It was, I mean, it was like, it was just like, Oh wow. That's a lot of smoke. A lot of that. And then, you know, just the whole thing was very, um,

like I have memories to attach to it like it's not just like a media spectacle uh what is absolutely a media specter or like what like kind of follows though is just like oh like then it was just a hole in the ground for like a fucking decade plus yeah and until they could figure out what to do with it yeah or like it was like a whole mess um so i don't know my main my main experience of 9-11 i guess just based on what i've been saying is not like the political upheaval it's not the wars we did it's about the stores we lost and then the smoke and then like there was that that big like that big that big they had that big hole in the ground for a while.

And they called it Ground Zero, too. And at the time, I thought, oh, that's just what that is called. I didn't realize that that was a phrase that they used to describe many things. So, yeah, I guess you could have a very New York-centered outlook on things. Yeah, I remember seeing it on TV, and at the time, I actually thought Unc was cooking out. And then I got the phone call about it, and I realized that it was sad because I actually found out one of my favorite big booty bitches died on that plane.

And we were actually planning on building a monument with a big-ass, like, marble booty on Ground Zero. And it would maybe have, like, some, like, some fans coming off it that would be, like, twerk wind fans. And it would basically, like, just smell like big-ass booty on the whole Ground Zero. And they were going to call it Pound Zero for all the bad bitches we would pound there. But it was, like, pretty much like a big-ass tragedy, I do remember. Thomas, you were telling me that the CIA, they actually changed his name. It was Muhammad at a boy.

And then they took the boy out just to make it seem more Muslim. He was like a nation of Islam. Yeah, now it would be Muhammad Now's a Girl, probably. Jesus fucking fuck you. Now it would be Mohammed Now's the Girl, probably. Jesus fucking fuck you. And it would have been flown into an even bigger shopping center, probably. When I went to New York, like, 2010? 2011.

It was like the 10-year thing. I was a teenager, and I went with, like, it was like the 10 year thing i was a teenager and uh i went with like a it was like like a bunch of my friends from school when it was like a kind of a school trip thing that like some kids like they like got paid for or whatever so we all went and we went to the museum right and you know there's like ah yes the museum the 9-11 museum or whatever and they were like this steel beam they found it

in the shape of a cross oh man I will okay that's actually that's a good thing to bring up because like you know as a known Jew yeah yeah all that stuff I always good thing to bring up because like i was you know as a as a known jew yeah yeah uh wow all that stuff i always yeah it was it was like so like all of the like you i i have so many memories

as a kid at 9-11 and 9-11 adjacent kind of uh events where you know where they're just like and now we're gonna take a moment to remember you know all those who are lost and i'm like yes we're gonna remember you know their lives and and the people in their lives who are who are now sad because their loved ones are gone i'm like yes i'm with it and then we're gonna remember lord jesus christ who died for all their sins and it's like hold the fort hold on hold a moment i didn't agree to that well the i don't know about that one the fucking and that's just like water down where you guys are like my mom grew up in the south and she sang like christian songs growing up and i was like wow that's that must be a thing

that they don't do anymore because we we live in in in a normal world now no uh but then i learned that the south is is still the south dude we would okay, I think I've talked about this on the show, but in 2004 when John Kerry was running against George Bush, we had a mock election. I was in fifth grade, okay? They were picking students to be, and they had these big like a jib-jab style bobblehead masks from the Halloween store of store of john kerry

and of george bush and i got picked to be john kerry and i we would do these like little mock debates in class or whatever and i would put on the mask oh yes an origin story dude adult parents started treating me different this is south like some of the teachers would be like would literally be like they picked me they'd be like hmm you're uh you read hatchet a little too slow this week and i'd be like what yeah i don't know i was just kind of distracted like i was treated just a little bit differently because i was liberal john kerry pretending to be like four foot ten me dude people people will never like zoomers will never know the joys of getting like eyeballed by like the school secretary

because you got in an argument with her about terry shive like i've got like so many like very particular memories of being like a kid who knew like, like a little too much about politics. So that like, like meaning like enough to get into trouble. Yeah, sure. So like I would,

for example, argue with the school staff about Terry Shivo, um, and then argue with all the kids who's like, I mean, like, I mean also like at that time I went to like a Jewish private school for like a year or two.

And like, it was a lot of people, like, at that time, I went to, like, a Jewish private school for, like, a year or two. And, like, it was a lot of people had bad ideas about how the world should be at that school. And so it was even easier. Thomas, did you, like, did you guys, because at our church, we would do, like, they would do, like, potlucks after, like, I remember there was, like, that month and then the rest of 2001 and then in 2002, they would do,lucks after. I remember there was that month and then the rest of 2001 and then in 2002, they would do drives and stuff, I guess, and they would donate the money to the families. But we would do these parking lot, trunk or treat style, everybody brings food.

And our church had this thing where it was like everybody wanted to make freedom fries and all of the food became like it wasn't like pot roast it was like 1776 beef and and uh i don't i know thomas you were raised religious i don't know if you guys did any it like the the intersection of a of like stupid southern baptist like theater and then just like american patriotism was like so cartoonish there for like a good 10 years after oh yeah i remember uh so i i was barely alive for 9-11 but i remember um i do remember some of the political antics of the Southern Baptist Church. For example, one of my favorite ones, this church we went to for a while,

the lead pastor just had this giant scroll that was comically long. It was like 40 feet long. And it had the tally marks for every abortion in America, and it was such a vague figure as to when these abortions happened. And he would undo the scroll, and it would go all the way down the church steps into the aisle, and people would just start crying. And it would have like dramatic theme music

like the lights would change he'd be like these all he'd be like 150 billion and 225 million and 372,005 babies were killed Today

Let that sink in And every single one of them Every single one of those Abortions Were performed by the devil And I folks This is not a political Sermon

And the devil his practice is two counties over His office hours He's usually there between 930am This is not a political sermon. And the devil, his practice is two counties over. Yeah. His office hours, he's usually there between 9.30 a.m. and 11 a.m., and then he takes a long lunch, and then he's back at 2, and then the devil's back at it. Yeah. The devil is a Jewish doctor. He drives a Toyota Camry.

His nurse is a Puerto Rican lady, I do believe. His children. His oldest daughter goes to Vanderbilt. His son goes to SMU. Like, no, it's funny. I'm reminded. So my brother, I have a half brother. He's like a decade and a half older than me.

And he lives in New Orleans now. But he grew up in Jackson, Mississippi. And he went and he played football for a baptist school there oh shit and then he played football for a year at usm in in hattiesburg mississippi and uh like when he was in christian high school like he went to private high school because i guess that's just what like white middle class families did yeah there do there uh and because he played football you know it was he was with you know i mean at a baptist high school was in like as as macho and baptist environment as it gets right and the two stories that are the two things that i remember him telling me about a lot uh the first was his name is nathan and

basically it was like four years of saved nathan like every time not every time but like all the time when he was like alone in a car with somebody's parents they would like give start giving the talk about like you know like you could accept jesus it's not too late like it was all the time and he just learned to like brush it off because it's like what are you gonna do about it which i kind of admire and then the second uh is that uh he told me about the concept of christian sex yeah uh and the idea of like of of that it's it's actually not losing your virginity if you do it in the bus yes yep that one was and that was like real that was like a thing people like really believed and practiced on yeah

the the one thing that always struck me as odd is because i guess like i i started watching porn like i guess earlier than you know most people do and i was always like oh anal is like more it's more evil than just normal ass fucking standard issue sex and so when i started when i would go to youth group and then when you graduate from like you go vacation bible school youth group and then like this thing we had called disciple now where a bunch of us teen boys would go to this grown man's apartment and he would tell us that if we jack off we're gonna die anyway somebody brought that up one time wait he's telling you this in his own home? Yes, so we would go to his apartment.

His name was Paul, and he was like early 30s. And it would start off pretty normal where we would read from like, we'd read scripture, we'd read like the gospels and stuff, and then he would do a little sermon, and then we'd do a prayer circle. And then like that was like 30 minutes. That was a foreplay. And then after, he would be like, OK. And we all he would try to give it like some gravitas.

But we knew what was coming. He would like, OK, so there's this thing that we struggle with. You understand what I'm saying, Jake? And I'd be like, oh, no. OK, OK. So there's this thing that we have this urge right and that urge people will tell you science might tell you that it's biological it's part of life but what it is is it's a spiritual death and I would be like he's like I'm of course talking

about masturbation and we would all go in his apartment. Dude, and he had like, this was 2007 or 8. He was like an early guy, got into all the Iron Man stuff and the Hulk stuff. So just like Marvel posters everywhere. Oh, man. And it was like, he had like a uh a poster uh like and the other posters were these christian bands like casting crowns and like all the christian rock bands man i'm so glad that my health teacher showed me how to jack off uh directly like a normal kid you know you got

like i'm happy i got a normal secular education where my high school health teacher just like took took us all one by one into the bathroom and and showed us all individually how to masturbate he was like hey this is how you this is science this is this is actually uh and they gave me recommendations for porn uh in fact they they encouraged me to have sex without a condom Because it's cooler and it feels better You know It was like a really good normal Secular health education That's what I got

That's badass Yeah we had Backshots 101 We had how to go down on that thing How to blow it out How to blow it out. Yeah, how to blow it in. Yep. And all the girls had swallow class for swallowing jizz.

Yeah, the junior varsity was spitting. If you couldn't get up to swallowing, they'd just put you on JV. It was funny. I remember the discipleship thing that you're talking about, Jake. At our church that we went to whenever my older siblings were, I guess, high schoolers, it was called Disciple Now, but to be trendy, they called it D-Now. Yeah. So all the girls and the guys, you go to somebody's house for a weekend for D-Now

with just like 15 other dudes. Thankfully, I was never graced with it. But I remember my parents hosted D-Now one time. And so my dad had built this like redneck zip line in the backyard. And I remember I couldn't go down the zip line for like a whole weekend because it was like 20 dudes going down it constantly. It was a crazy cool zip line, though. It was like. What is it what is it with christians and ziplines so my friend uh danny uh he his dad was a mega pastor or a pastor at a

mega church in california and like he and i was like telling danny like yeah my dad's a rabbi you know like fucking it was a it's a big synagogue like you know there's like a couple thousand people in the building on yom kippur and on rosh hashanah and yom kippur you know it's pretty cool and danny's like yeah that's like about we had like every week and my dad once took a zip line to the stage like the fuck like or the altar whatever y'all call it like i was floored like it's, like, you guys got stunts, pyrotechnics. Like, Righteous Gemstones, I know, is, like, parody, but, like, only barely on that count. It's not really.

So there was this thing that we would go to. My church was a family church. My cousin was the pastor. And when they moved into a bigger building, he was a no-nonsense, he was a Calvinist. So he thought all that shit was goofy he was like oh yeah yeah yeah literally paul schrader his sermons would be like a lot of you in here are going to hell and you come every sunday and you do everything you're supposed to do but it ain't your decision to make and it ain't never been all right amen happy sunday everybody and

that was just how he was oh yeah pastor cormac mccarthy thank you thank you judge the maddest i've ever been in church was one time we sat through a whole speaking session from a 9-11 survivor on 9-11 had nothing to do he was barely a christian he just at the end he was like and and God was there to help me. Thank you. And then collected his jacket. And so I was in there in the WB store, and I was thinking, it would be such a loss. It would be such a loss. His big selling point was they had to cut his wedding ring off his finger because his body was so melted. He did look fucked up. But then the problem with it was. off his finger because his body was so melted he did look fucked up but then

they did like elephant man at church that's pretty cool fucked up and then you find out he was at the pentagon he got like he was like it was like the plane that like he got hit with the missile not the plane yeah with the missile yes so's like, and I'm a kid, I'm like, that wasn't even part of 9-11. That didn't even fall down. This guy fucking basically got killed by, like, almost killed by a vending machine. You know what I mean? I'm like, that's not, you weren't part of the, that's like when somebody, we had a, I remember at school one time, we had a guy come who had no legs.

Mm-hmm. And he was a veteran. And then it later turns out, later in the speaking thing, he was like a demonstration skydiver for the military. Who never saw combat, and he lost his legs because he and another guy were doing a demonstration and crashed into each other. And the other guy got exploded. And the other guy exploded into this guy's legs. The guy's legs got chopped off. The other guy just turned into mist. And this guy was acting like he was a hero.

And we had to do a standing ovation for a guy who was a professional skydiver. And then he was like, and then my wife left me as soon as I lost my legs. She filed for divorce two weeks later. No. And he said, she told me the day you lost your legs, I stopped loving you. And everybody in the crowd went, aw. And then, dude, he showed a video of the guy smashing

into his legs and his legs getting blown off. Yeah, this is a middle school. The fuck? Yeah. It's funny because it's at like a NASCAR race or something. The beginning of the

speaking engagement everybody thinks every new detail of this is crazy so he wasn't just he wasn't like just doing it like for the army he was at they were at like a nascar race like he was like a blue angel yeah yeah something like that but for skydive that's yeah so it's like a big race or something and it's it's like a video of somebody with their phone like so they can put it on Facebook or whatever and it just shows the crash and everybody's like oh no oh

no and like me and my friends are trying not to laugh because it's like this guy is fucking stupid man this is a professional skydiver that's a fake that's like a mall kiosk yeah you know what time it is. It's that time again.

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Jake, I really enjoyed the chicken Alfredo pasta as well as a truffle mushroom pork chop. Those really tickled my fancy. There was a really yummy one. I think it was the burger. That one looked really good. Yes, it was a jalapeno popper burger. It really tantalized my taste buds. I love getting my taste buds tantalized.

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Tasty, tasty. Thank you. Good job. You know what I mean? There was a guy. good job you know what i mean there was a guy um so when i first started doing like boxing and shit or whatever i we i would go to the local mma and like you know jujitsu competitions in houston and like houston's very own he was like a superstar in like the local like combat sports scene he was the og green ranger his name was Jason David Frank.

And he was like a crazy pillhead alcoholic before or whatever. And then he found God, but in a very theatrical American Christian way. And the way that he would go to schools and do is like, I used to fucking, we used to fucking, I got out of the Power Rangers and we were just black tar shooting heroin what else you gonna do where'd all that money go right in my veins and then god saved me he would roll up to schools in a lifted h3 green neon green monster hummer and his t-shirt company was called jesus didn't tap

and it was a huge swole ass jesus on a cross flexing like this with like the two by four snapped and it was like just his biceps and like his stigmata was like like like faded because he had like healed himself or whatever this dude you would go to his fights and he would get just the shit beat out of him dude the floor like he would do and because of i guess his fame or whatever like being a green ranger the power ranger every time he would do, and because of, I guess, his fame or whatever, like, being a Green Ranger, the Power Ranger, every time he would do, like, the pre-fight interview, he'd be like, yeah, you know, like, you do get a little bit of combat experience being a Power Ranger. Which is just, like, he's doing, like, spin kicks and, like, green leotards and fighting goop monsters and shit.

Okay, so, hold on. So, for a moment, at the beginning when you said like the original green ranger i just assumed you were misspeaking and being like oh you meant like army ranger no power ranger but then you but then i but then you said power ranger multiple times and i realized oh no he means like the literal like the original green mighty morph yes yes that's cool i mean look at least he didn't kill himself didn't one of them kill himself no one of them like murdered his roommate right yeah that was the yeah i mean like it's it's i mean look like not to bring it all back to religion but who owns the power rangers haim saban what is haim saban i can say it i'm jewish is that that's right he's bald he's very bald okay

okay i i like i thought you were gonna go somewhere else with that and i was like okay I'm Jewish. Is that? That's right. He's bald. He's very bald. Oh, okay. Okay. I thought you were going to go somewhere else with that, and I was like, okay. No, I don't know where you think I could have gone with that. Oh, okay. I won't speculate. Fucking dumbass. It's like the anti-Semitic octopus, but it's like each arm is a different color of Power Ranger. Yeah.

anti-semitic octopus but it's like each arm is a different color of power ranger yeah when they morph together they just make the bit yeah the big like 1930s cartoon with a little hat yeah yeah dude thomas what did i call the yarmulke the other day you cooked me for yamaha i always dude i was gonna say when we were talking about the Christianity thing like you growing up like in the like school or whatever I can't speak for Thomas's experience but we would talk about Jews at like Baptist school like church like you guys almost got it but you fucked up like like because Muslims get the fuck out of here that's it that's persona non grata that's enemy number one but whenever like I remember asking about Judaism like in vacation Bible school and I was like oh Because Muslims get the fuck out of here. That's persona non grata. That's enemy number one. But I remember asking about Judaism in vacation Bible school,

and I was like, oh, they're like Christians, right? And my Sunday school teacher was like, no. But they're close. You guys were like, we were the Dodge Challenger Hellcat. You guys were the base model. Just the V6. Yeah. I also knew jews were going to hell duh what i also found out later in childhood was that catholics are going to hell yeah yes

you know that's a breath i don't even believe in hell but i believe in that yeah well i think it would just be nice to decide that half of humanity is going to hell because fuck it, they chose wrong. It was funny because I had a Cajun grandfather who basically moved to Texas from my grandmother, and he was kind of racist, but also he was French Catholic. So he was the only non-Mexican guy at his Catholic church for like 30 years and just kind of dealt with it, I guess.

I don't think he was outwardly racist. No, so he spends 30 years every week in the pew seething. That's great. Yeah. He talked about the Alamo every time I saw him. There's no way he was like, oh, nice little diversity. We could use that, you know. It was like a thing where it would be like they would talk about because I kind of like you know, I like got really into like reading about religion and shit at like a young age.

You said with the politics thing but i like i like stopped believing in god when i was like eight but i went and i kept going anyway because my mom it was like important to her but i remember asking like a like hey how do we know that we're right like and again they're like a sunday school teacher isn't equipped to answer just basic questions about like the problem of evil or like eschatol like just not they're not equipped you know what i mean they didn't go to seminary and even if they did like my pastor went to seminary he was a fucking moron he was stupid and i remember asking like hey like raising my hand like so like jewish guys muslims like buddha guys you know how do we know that we're not like rolling the dice and coming up snake eyes or

whatever and they're like we're not and i was like right but like how do you know and they're like oh you just know and that was a critical component i always missed out on i guess was the faith that i was like i think i think that that's also why though like you know when you hear about how it's like in tennessee they've just unveiled a new theme park that shows from beginning to end how the Earth was created in just a few days. Right. And how it's only 4,000 years old or whatever. like a segment of the population that like, or,

you know, of that group that when confronted with the thing you're confronted with, their answer is just to be like, well, you know, like, well, we've just got to make a museum to convince people of the truth. And like,

what is the truth? It's like, you know, something Kyrie Irving shares on Instagram. It's the intellectual equivalent of that. And it's not like theologically persuasive in any like kind of cosmic sense it's you know it's it's flat coke by this point yeah uh and so yeah i think it's like that's why they have to do like all the the stunt shit yeah you know i mean like look like

the only reason i say this like jews get off light because like uh you know granted like you know like i don't want to say that, like, every Jewish guy's experience is the same in every country or whatever, but, like, you know, is having, like, just, like, the most evil country in the world at the moment, like, you know, it's just kind of, like, the outlet of negativity for your religion. Yeah, I mean, it just sort of means that everybody, you know, it's, like, you can, you can like the religion is like, like, who cares? It's, you know, it's very like it doesn't seem to have much consequences for nonbelievers, let's say. And then, you know, it's like our state very much imposes consequences for nonbelievers.

There was like one thing I realized that differed from like my friends who I knew that were Catholic and I went to a Catholic university is I can't obviously I don't know, like every type of Protestant. But the one that I'm very familiar with is, is that not only do we believe in hell, we revel in the idea of our enemies going there. Like like like the Catholic doctrine that I like became familiar with when I was in school was that like, eh, it's up to interpretation. Somebody, I remember learning about the whole Gehenna thing when I was there. And that was like a thing, a lot of Catholics, they don't believe in hell necessarily.

Dude, you know, it's crazy. Gehenna is a West bank settlement now, like the actual place, Gehenna, like the real place that is, that became like the symbol of,

of hell and where they did sacrifice, you know, sacrifice, even sacrifice and stuff. It's now just like somebody named like Yehuda from Brooklyn like lives there like it's like it's it's so fucked up like it's so annoying I feel look I a lot obviously the vid like the footage is fucking awful and it it makes you want to go fucking crazy and just do like fucking Minecraft style shit to people who you feel are responsible. But the video. I prefer Roblox, but go on.

The videos that really, for some reason, like make me insane is that they'll be interviewing somebody and it is a Jewish person in Israel. And I can't tell if they're like from there born there it doesn't matter or not but when they start speaking and the person's like so you know what do you think should happen to gaza after all this and they go oh well me and my husband we came down from the bronx and and what we think we're gonna do is we're gonna make probably no it's always it's it's no because the worst part is that they don't even have to say that they're from the Bronx. It's more like, it's like the video is like fucking like a Palestinian guy who's watching all of his family's possessions being carried out

by like the most fucking like fridge looking like people, you know, like, like coming out like, you know, with mattresses and all this other shit. And, and then one of them's like, listen, you lost. It's mine now. It's ours. And you're like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I know that accent, and that is not indigenous to the Middle East.

Hold on a moment now. It's crazy because you're like, how do I say this? You're like, I know that people are people and the worst parts of the internet and the worst parts of politics in history. Like, they are what those guys are watching this and they're going, see, I fucking told all of you know what I mean? And it's shitty. And you watch that video like you guys are. Do you understand how this is coming across to people who maybe saw some of those opinions and far right wing crazy shit and were like, I don't like the sound of that. And then they're watching it and they're going, oh. You know what I mean?

People who can't discern just violence and then just terrible politics or whatever, they take them on because they think it's, like, proof that the shit maybe they didn't get into is correct, or whatever, what I'm trying to say. I mean, I do think that, like, the fucking, with these settlers, at least, like, one of the things that, like, the symbolism is, like, really annoys me about it, at least, is, like, there's no, like, it doesn't even, like, represent, like, an ideal.

I mean, beyond, like, you, too, can be, like, it doesn't even, like, represent, like, an ideal. I mean, beyond, like, you too can be, like, a fat ass who's, like, you know, a zealot, a religious zealot, and, like, get somebody else's house that you didn't have. And you don't have to, like, you know, you have to lift a finger insofar as you probably had to do some paperwork. Yeah. Like, it's, like, that to me is, like, a very very, like a pretty, a difficult thing to swallow. Because like at least the violence and dispossession, like I get like the kind of like natural equilibrium of that. Like, you know, using a gun or a missile or whatever to like, you know, blow up somebody's house or take it from them. It's like, yeah, that's like a violent act. And, you know, like it's all like it's fraught with all the drama of that

uh but this is like a weird flavor of like a horrible like banal thing that like hell maybe you've like seen or experienced yourself of like a fucking you know like uh like i've never been evicted but like i've seen it happen and it's like fucking like imagine doing that but it's like all right but here's the thing the guy doing it to you is so annoying he's so annoying he's like, all right. But here's the thing. The guy doing it to you. Is so annoying. He's so annoying. He's like the most annoying guy who ever lived. And you're not allowed to say he's annoying. Because. Because you could get in trouble.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. God. In a very particular way. Thomas, did you guys. I know that there was like a. I think there was like some sort of propaganda done to like southerners christian southerners because my mom and people that i knew and that went to my church thomas i don't know if you have a similar experience they looked at israel like the like holy land

like everything happened there it's not palette like my like the way they we were taught in church that like even though everybody in israel is jewish and they don't get to they don't get to hang out with the big dog when the time comes everything over there like tel aviv is like if you go to tel aviv you're so close to like his house you know what i mean and so israel and israelis were incredibly important to just guys from mississippi like, people I knew from Texas, you know? It's funny because, like, I've learned a lot more about Israeli culture the last few years.

And it's funny that, like, Protestant Americans think of it as, like, think of the residents of Israel as, like, we need to protect these people. Yes. Their land. This is, they need to win this battle. They are a, you know, not like a master race, but, like, this is a chosen, they're God's chosen people. They're like the Na'vi.

Yeah. They're like the Na'vi. And then Israelis are like, free labor? All right, come on. Come over here. Help us farm. You know what I mean? It's like we're just, they're like, these beautiful apes love us.

They love us. Come, please come. Yeah, it's pretty expensive to fly over here, actually. But it's a holy land if you want to come visit. You know, you can't have anything to do with our wine process. If you touch any of that, we have to throw it out but you know um yeah you're welcome i mean they do have they do have like a brisk tourism business not just from you know the jews but also like the first like i you know before i ever went like apparently when i was like one years old

i went to armadillo i went to armadillo i went to amarillo texas like once a week because my dad they flew out my dad to be their rabbi once a week you know 30 years ago which is crazy considering amarillo texas is near nothing uh but like you know i i think you know aside from that like uh experience as a baby, my first experience of Texans was in Israel, for sure. And I was as impressed and as enamored with the Lone Star State then as I am now. Really? You don't forget flesh that red that easily. My buddy, who had the same obviously

upbringing as me we grew up in the same area he went he got out of high school goes to the marines right and i remember he came back from leave and he had just been in tel aviv and he was like telling me he was like dude man you know church and what like i thought it was going to be like you know people were going to be like doing chants in the street and like, it'd be like paved with gold and like, I just thought I never saw no pictures. I never went there. I just thought it was like the closest you can get to heaven. And all I did while I was there, dude, is fuck Israeli women and take ecstasy, go to

nightclubs. And I was like, dude, it's like fucking, it's like Germany over there. Just except like, cause he, when he was like, every time he would go get stationed somewhere, he was a Marine. So they just go get drunk, get into trouble with the local police, get into fistfights with some locals, almost go to jail. And then they would leave. That's what he did while he was there. And he said that his experience there was like, so not what he was brought up thinking that Israel, like he thought everyone just went to church and synagogue all the time. And they just fucking, and there are some guys like that there for sure, like Orthodox dudes,

but he was like, dude, everything that was there for him to do was centered around sin, partying. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, Noah, but isn't Tel Aviv, like, the central, like, the most, like, nightclubby area in Israel? like nightclubby area in israel yeah i mean like so basically like i think like 90 like 90 plus percent maybe 90 plus percent of the country basically lives within like this uh like horizontal ish band in the middle of the country that is you know like about like like like let's say like uh like half the country you know is not even like a third of the country in size and that goes from like tel aviv to jerusalem it's really downward sloping to the east and tel aviv is like you know is is now a it has sort of evolved into like a larger metropolitan area there's like a couple smaller cities to the south there's a couple wealthier cities to the

north the northern part of tel aviv is generally is is the richer part but like it's it's a night like it's a late night city to like a point uh it's like what i mean like the thing is that like even is like now it's like it's it's it has a pretty solid beach uh but it's really fucking expensive so it's also like the the tourism that is there is like increasingly like the the average like american tourist experience like they're not gonna get like a wow the israelis are gods and or you know jewish navi or whatever like you know like maybe maybe though there'll be a bit of that but like you know a lot of it is like they fly into tel aviv they get on a tour bus they go to jerusalem they go to the dead sea uh they find out that yes a

400 pound man uh can float uh in the dead sea and then and then and then they go you know they go to tel aviv and you know find out that a 400 pound man cannot float in the ocean and then they go home and it's like like i think that there's um like the tel aviv tourist experience is just like by and large at this point like sort of you know it's it's uh it's it's like a nice city with some tourist amenities in the middle of like a sort of big like sprawl uh everything costs too much money and it's got like that beautiful zone of interest quality where if you like you know go like this and like listen with your ears for a minute, you can hear less than 100 miles to the south, the screams of Gaza or whatever.

Israel is the only other place I've been besides Israel that has as much visible police and military presence on the streets, as much overt nationalism in terms of, you see Israeliraeli flags everywhere uh even when things are in quote-unquote peacetime there uh the only place like that i've been is okay um and like it's uh just in in how intense it is um and yeah i mean it's it's a very like yeah they've got it they got they've got a very appealing rah-rah thing. The thing that, well, I don't remember this.

This was, I went to a, me and a bunch of buddies from college, one of them got married, so we went to Cancun for his bachelor party. And one of my old roommates was newly single, so he was like, I'm going to fucking, you know, I'm going to try to be Rico Suave. Big, Hispanic, tall guy. You know, he's like, I'm going to try to get laid while I'm here because this is my countryman or whatever the fuck.

I know how to get around. And, like, day one, he meets these two girls from Israel. They're there on vacation as well. And I have a really bad habit of like having two to even maybe three beers and then just saying whatever the fuck i want not caring if anybody like gets mad at me like gives my feeling search so uh we were like hanging out by the pool and at one point my my buddy ed he was like they like go to get a drink he was like hey man um i can sense because earlier i was like oh do you guys live like next to any of like the settlements or anything like

that and they were like they were like they're like very awkward they go see they go to get drinks and he's like hey dude do not fuck this up for me with your stupid shit and i was like what are you talking about he was like bro you know exactly what i'm talking about he's like you've been drinking tequila all fucking day i know you've done a little bit of coke do not ask these fucking women anything about gaza like any of the bullshit that's going on over there you understand me i this is one of them gave me her number and i think maybe i could get a two for two deal on this so do not fuck this up up. And I was like, you got it, man. I won't do anything stupid. And then they come back and the night kind of goes on or whatever.

And I don't remember what I said. But I woke up in the morning and we go to get brunch. And he's pretty mad at me. What's up, man? You hung over? He was like, dude, do you not remember what happened last night? And I was like, nah, dude, I fucking, I went and 20 back at the beach and i just got i just went wacky with it you know what i mean you saw me i was fucked he's like yeah no we saw you uh you were asking them

like uh if they thought it was cool like what their government that you were like saying oh like israel like somebody needs to blow it up he was like you used the term you used before you just said black glass you just said it needs to be, they need to glass the place. And they were, like, not very happy about that. And so now, I don't think, he was like, we were supposed to hang out at the beach with them later. But they're definitely not going to do that now. And I was like, well, I mean, I got a girlfriend I love, so I don't care about them. B, even if I didn't, C, were they mad?

Did I piss them off? And he was like, yeah. And I realized even then, not actually remembering the interaction, I was like, am I in the wrong? I don't know. But they take that shit. Some of them, like, well. He's like, dude, I was going to fuck Eva Braun later.

He messed it up for me. Yeah. I mean, it is, like, I think one of the things that is, is like, you know, like I have like a family in Israel. I have a bunch of, you know, I've, I've lived there like at different periods of time when I was younger. confronting for the first time the sort of like fact that like people associate like the name of their state with like you know like evil sure like and doing evil and you know and and and and and and that's just sort of like oh like they've been kind of insulated from that because people haven't really been paying attention to the israeli-Palestine conflict for a while. They've been insulated from that because, like, there's this, like, a kind of, like, global tourist culture thing that, like, they kind of insulate themselves in. Like, you know, I think you kind of experienced it indirectly where it's just, like, you meet an Israeli and, like, they are baffled. and like they are baffled like they know their condition to know that like the outside world like you know thinks very poorly of what they of their government and and perhaps even of the idea

of them as a as a you know distinct political entity uh but like very rarely do they encounter that head-on um you know because it's it's a pretty well construed like if you made this really nice and comfortable you know bubble for like, would you bop it? Like, hell no. Like, it's, you know, I mean, it's, like, I think that there's, like, an enormous amount of psychology going on that I'm not equipped to handle. I think the mandatory military service, too, really does a lot to fucking, like, there's no, that not that there's not that people can't think for themselves but like i i feel like people like going into the military and doing those two years when you're like 18 or 20 like a lot of people like while your brain is forming you're just

taking in all that propaganda and then it's like you're kind of conditioned to where anybody who disagrees with you on a certain subject, your immediate thought is they want me and everybody I know dead because they're an anti-Semite, and then it's like, well, then how can you receive pushback? Oh, totally. You know what I mean? How can your brain handle that? You know what I mean?

Well, and it's also, I think, because one of the sort of paradoxes Oh, totally. um, are, are more right-wing than their parents. And, and so it's sort of like, and, and, and the, and the contours and the specifics of it are like really interesting. Like, like for example, a survey that I've thought about for like many years, um, was like talked about how there was like a, like, like there was a, you know, like one of the core projects of like Israeli, you know, like state education, you know, it's, it's like any other state education in a mostly western society like it has limits to its effectiveness however um in this case like you know they always they talk a lot about the holocaust and uh kids who are from families they're who are from background like you know who are like moroccan or iraqi or

whatever and you know who have you know who had no experience or relation of the holocaust thought about it more uh per on a given day than kids who you know who had family that had been in the holocaust or were you know jews who had fled poland or whatever fuck. And so to me, you know, the pale settlement and, and there's a kind of like, um, I think that like the, the, the younger generations sort of like, you know, having like this kind of, you know, like they're, they've gotten the stew of the Holocaust education and this sort of like, you know, like the founding, you know, fable of the state is this one in which it's like what immediately preceded it was like, you know, like the founding, you know, fable of the state is this one in which it's like what immediately preceded it was like, you know, this gigantic slaughter of Jews. And that is just like a very, you know, it's it's like it's as if, you know, we said that like the it's like like this is kind of glib, but I don't think it's totally wrong like that it would be like americans saying like oh like right before the declaration of independence great britain said that they were gonna cut the dick off of every

red-blooded american male like they were gonna come and kill people and they were gonna you know and it's like that's not or they or they tried to or whatever and it's like well uh like i i think that there's a uh like that like when you then put it with the army you know like the way it's sort of to what you were saying Thomas like the way it ends up like kind of reinforcing in the worst way in the army is I don't even think necessarily like vertically like from like their officers or whatever but I think it's like fucking horizontal like I think all these fucking kids like together because they're in a country that like is very unequal, like even on their own terms, like the Israeli bourgeois, like like person rough middle class equivalent, like, you know, is like they don't have like it's it's very competitive to get good jobs. Everything costs money, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Real estate is crazy expensive. You know, it's it's, it's a rough bargain. And I think that like the army is sort of in this like this experience kind of like it's like, oh, yeah, like they're all, you know, like all of them having it at that age. There's some class, you know, there's a lot of class sorting that goes into the army, like a lot of people from the same backgrounds go you know it's it's actually like similar to how like in germany they have trade schools and everybody brags about the german trade school system but like it really is also just kind of a way of like keeping like like like like arranging a class society classes and and so it's like fucking

they like in israel it's like yeah they just do that at the army before you ever get to the level of university. And it's like through this process that like makes all of these kids around people like them and crazier. And, you know, they make like they're now going through this process where I think like the Israelis are going to regret doing this, but like about trying to integrate more religious people into the army. And it's just like going to exacerbate a lot of that a lot of the i feel like a lot of the and again this is this is part speculation and like part kind of looking into it but there has been a like general uptick from what i have seen of like further right-wing ideologies being popular with like not even not my generation i wouldn't even say necessarily like thomas yours but like burgeoning gen alpha and then like younger

young gen z and that's like something you see reflected i guess in social media and stuff or whatever but um it is like a it's like a cartoonish type for example it is almost it's like a nihilistic type of where a lot of the thing a lot of comments you'll see people making on like videos of war footage it's like they're about to find out why we don't got free health care and it's like that is an acceptance on that statement carries so much bullshit like you're accepting that over here we got a raw fucking deal son like we it's fucked you know whatever like in the states and then you're like celebrating that fact by like yeah you know the a lot of the shit's broke here but we are good at killing and that mentality to me it's something where you like look upon it with shame

but now it's a thing that people are like almost weirdly proud about you know what i mean and it's uh and i think a lot of that is extension of i mean i don't know maybe like feeling powerless or whatever but it's funny as fuck to me to well i mean i think people can turn you know like that's it's like a very like people can be super ironic about it but they do often really genuinely feel like well we don't get certain things in life we we don't get them yeah and you're fucked and and and as a and and as a result however sometimes uh you get to beat the shit out of the other yeah yeah yeah yeah and so you know like it's you know it's as's as, you know, on, I think it's like an impulse that works on, like, a sort of societal level. And also at the level of, like, sometimes, like, a guy just walks into a bar and just, like, wants, like, he just wants to get the shit kicked out of him. And, like, you know, and, like, and looks for some, and looks for whoever can make that happen, you know, and figuring out how to do it.

Yeah, it's like, you want me to care about this country? Joke i don't care if i'm alive how about that yeah that's my foreign policy there's like a yeah like a death cult aspect my foreign policy is this foreign object is going to be going into my skull at 600 miles per feet per minute yeah exactly oh you oh you think i like to i want to go to the dentist hell no son i want to see blood if it was fought i want to see rivers of it i want streets to run red my my son he broke his leg we just had to he just walks around with a limp my wife she got cancer but god damn whenever i see them fucking 810s were up boy I get hard as hell and you're like you think to yourself oh this is a character this is not a real guy I just

think it's like what's so crazy though right is like how uneven and like silly stuff is where it's like okay you're gonna have to lose your teeth but then when you get on medicare you can get them all back like it's like you know you like and it's like we're moving at an alarming rate like

with cosmetic dentistry and that's a good thing where like medicare is covering more and more stuff year after year but it is just like like this sucks like i just can can everybody just keep their teeth and like not have to like worry about going to a dentist who you know like like like it just seems like such a like uh it's like so stupid and funny and like it i mean yeah that to me is like one in particular i think yeah i and thomas like we've talked a little bit about it on the show but like i know there's a certain type of person that i am very familiar with in the south that is like if you ask some questions about shit like basic issues like oh are you like like my mom's good example are you pro-choice or pro-life i was like i would not get an abortion but you know i'm i don't want to tell

anybody what they can and can't do oh like do you think school should be cheaper yeah you know it was expensive uh you know um i know you had to get a lot of loans out. I wish you wouldn't have had to done that. And same with your brother. Okay, you know, do you think, you know, she always complains about how she's like, I'll tell her how Europe or Ireland was. I wish we had trains and stuff here. And I tell her, I'm like, okay, at best, you're like a standard issue liberal. And she goes, no, I'm a conservative.

I'm a Christian conservative. I'm a vote for, you know, and I don't know. It's to me, it's like not a politics thing. It's like people say team sports stuff, but like even sometimes you tell your team they're not worth the fuck. To me, it's even deeper than that. And Thomas, I don't know if it was. I mean, it is. I do think there is like an element of just like fucking with that.

You know, it's funny because like conservatives make this complaint with like you know it's like liberals demand demand conformity in their you know with their soy in their portland or whatever and but like it is like and maybe this is a little rose emoji of me but like it is like just it seems to me like objectively true that like actually like if you live in in like you know like fucking like red red ass places the reality is like much more like you ask somebody 10 basic questions like do you think everybody should have taxpayer health care you know do you think that like everybody should be guaranteed like a job do you think that everybody should be you know uh like that abortion you know like in in certain whatever, like, et cetera.

And then it's like, congratulations, you are a center-left Democrat. You are a middle-of-the-road Democrat. Fuck you, pussy, I ain't nothing like that. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you got one guy who's like, actually, I'm evil and I poach animals. Yeah. And also I murder people.

How about that? Yeah. Yeah, I think if you want to get a leg up, you should be able to. I mean, I killed my neighbor's daughter. You know? No, one of my least favorite things is, and when people, people on the internet who have never been to the South, or not like they did, maybe they didn't grow up around here, they insist. They insist that for some reason, it's this myth, it's this fucking theater.

They insist that fucking actually everybody in the south is a secret communist but they're just they're just oh no they're they they live and i'm like look are there people that i've met who i think if given the right motivation like would just be left wing but it's too much pressure from the in group out group thing sure but also the vast majority of people you meet out here really love this they love the shit they love yeah and and it's like fucking most people are pretty like i think it's also seems like super pretty clear like it's they love this shit etc but it's just like what like why would they do something else yeah like why would they like what fucking reason

would be like hey man listen like that's why i mean like that's why like twitter is mad funny because that's the one way that you can convince somebody is like hey man for like internet pussy would you want to post about like how bernie sanders is really cool how like he wore that jacket that one time and just like alienate everybody in your Texas hill country town. It's like a sundown town, basically. I think you just gave me a great idea. The new purpose of this show, the way that I'm going to convert the simple-minded masses of the South

into sort of maybe just... Our massive audience. Our massive audience is what i'm going to do is i'm going to tell everybody i know personally and i'm going to get the word out that hey listen if you're lonely you come up off that oil rig and you can't find yourself any trim no girl wants to give you time of day i got a secret for you You can just paint one of your fucking pinky nails red and say Karl Marx was good. And the whole town, the whole town will be chasing you. Dude, you're going to get off that boat. You're going to be swimming in it.

And I know guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could do like a you could do a whole musical about that. Like a guy who gets off the bus in, you know, like a music man. Yeah, yeah. Seventy six. Yeah. And he's.

Yeah. And so he's just like, all right, like, music man style. 76, strong. Yeah, and so he's just like, all right, so listen. No, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for T, and that stands for trans. Like, and he's, you know, he's, like, doing, like, a whole song. Like, like, like,

now I know all you boys want trim here in River City. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of you boys have been voting for Tammany, but I've got a secret. If you just say the word union at the bar, the lady that washes the dishes, she'll put a finger in it. Ain't that right, boys? Ah! Yeah, yeah. Well, I...

Yeah, exactly. Dude, I was at a house party one time in San Antonio, and my band had played a show. And this is kind of off point, but a little. But anyway, this guy sits down next to me, a black gentleman. And he's got like this long, he looks like fucking like Trinity in the Matrix. He's got this long leather skirt on and this like short leather biker jacket. And his dreads are in this high ponytail. He's got this shit on.

He's got like black painted nails, a little bit of eyeliner. He sits down next to me and real sexy. And he's like, oh, hey, man, that was a sick show, bro. And I was like, thank you, dude. I really appreciate that. And he's like, oh, I like your jacket. I was like, thanks, man. You got that shit on, dude.

You look good. And, dude, I guess maybe he just assumed. He was like, yeah, bro, I'm not even going to lie to you. Like, I just started dressing like this like a month ago because I'm trying to fuck some of this goth pussy. You feel me? I was like, wait, what? Like, I'm sitting next to Ashley. He's like, yeah, like, it's crazy.

Like, so, like, I don't even, like, some of this stuff is cool. Like, I like the jacket. But, like, the nail paint thing, like, that's kind of, that's a little something. You feel me? But, like, it's crazy, bro. Like, I don't even really fuck with this type of music,

but like, I started coming to these shows cause my friend brought me here and like, I'll be slaying a little bit of Coke, but like, bro, all you gotta do is just kind of like dress a little gay. And some of these girls, but I was like,

stop, stop enough. But I, but it's like not wrong. It's, there is a level of like truth to it as crass as it is or whatever it's like hey i mean i think it's like one of the like there's always like this like um like conservative like this like right-wing guy accusation that like like you're just pretending

to be left-wing so you can fit in you're just you know talking about gaza because it's trendy and it's like okay man uh i'm gonna be real with you there are so many worse reasons to do something than because like you think you're gonna yeah yeah and like well man it's like ever since i started wearing these suspenders and this propeller hat it's like every time i go to the science fair it's like mad bitches you know what i'm saying well it's like the whole thing of like being um getting into like i i don't believe in heaven or hell but if you are getting into catholicism to fuck like a ketamine addicted like brooklyn coke whore you go to hell too because i see these pictures like um they'll get reposted from like Instagram to Forge or Reddit and then make its way to Twitter. And you see them. It's like the girls are like heading to mass. And then all the reply.

Oh, well, no, those are I think I think unfortunately those images originate on Twitter. Yes. I mean, I feel I feel in general that those are also like like it's a you know, it's hard out here to be somebody who wants to have an audience on the internet and to think like how do i get attention yeah and yeah i mean like listen good i think uh i know thomas has uh developed a dissertation on uh the the the symbolism or the the frailty of getting uh of of uh being catholic for pussy online uh but i do like i fucking like it's it is no that one to me is that one's tough i mean you know that again like it's like converting converting to Catholicism to get laid, if it works, man, like, fine. Just, like, don't be on the internet about it, you know? Again, it's like, I remember being, I'm not, we're not, I'm a crazy old.

I remember all, if you wanted to, if you wanted to change a little bit about your personality, like, if you wanted to pretend you saw a movie or a band that you, like, fuck, I hate the Mountain Goats. But I pretended to like him when I was in college because there's a girl I liked. I liked him. Whatever. Okay. Thomas has a great story about how he kind of was a Christian for at least two more years just in hopes that he would get a handjob or something like that.

If I remember. Yep. Didn't happen. But like what I guess I'm trying to say is. It is, by the way, the paradox of that is that like like when you find out true when you find out like she's not faking it and you're like oh okay i thought we were like i thought this was like a whole thing we're both doing she's like no like if you like we'll probably get married early it's like oh nice yeah awesome oh nice oh yeah nice i want to marry you for sure yeah oh man i can't wait to figure you in five years it's it was really cool to basically have like

you know like you know no prospects no no coolness no hope of anything in my life in in you know growing up in suburban new jersey uh but then you know it's completely true what hot american summer all that bullshit you go to jewish summer camp and like the biggest fucking nerd can can ball out yeah yeah you know every dog can get his day uh and and that's something i really respect about the jewish face yeah you guys uh when we would do camp when we were talking like at the beginning of the episode about like the theatrics, there was this 20 000 people there and they play worship music and like they do sermons and then you go ziplining there's like a camp nearby to what the fuck is it with you people listen it's what i'm saying okay it's all flat here it's it's uh here's my here's

my two cents they make you do all that stuff. They don't really feed you. You go ziplining. You go rock climbing. You go kayaking. You do granola Colorado boyfriend bullshit. And then around midnight, they play more worship music in a room where they separate you 10 by 10. And then you're sleep deprived. You're hungry.

You're confused. You're like 14. So anytime you would even see the top part of a girl's underwear you would have to like go into the woods just like vibrate for like fucking 10 you know what i mean they go what you're feeling right now that is the power of the holy spirit it finally got into you so what you want to do with that feeling is completely up to you but i recommend that you give yourself over to God today because you never know when your day is going to be. I think I just need a Snickers bar

or a cigarette. I need a sandwich or something, man. I'm really tired. We ziplined a lot. I'm sleepy. It's like, no, you're not tired. You're actually awake. You could be. And... I mean,

that is like to me you know like it's like i want to be like damn that sounds corny that sucks but like the you know like the the tau of going to jewish summer camp is that basically like you know it's really fun and cool and and and you know it's it's like all like i'm sure secular summer camps are very good in similar ways uh but then also i remember one year we did an activity called settlement where we lot you know we did like a role-playing game where we like set up like settlements with milk crates so it's like you know who's to say like you know, who's to say? Like, you know, like, who am I to judge these doofy-ass fucking Baptists in Houston being like, well, you know, we're going to zip line for the Lord when, like, my, you know, my Jewish ass was literally role-playing Yehuda from Brooklyn, stealing a home.

That's so tough. More or less. I mean, it is like, it's like a historical thing. So it's really about Yehuda from Brooklyn doing stealing a home. That is so tough. More or less. I mean, it is like a historical thing, so it's really about Yehuda from Brooklyn doing that in, like, 1940. But, like, it's a... No, I mean, it's... That's sick, dude. Like, it's pretty cool.

It was really awesome, and I'm excited to take that memory with me into Passover. Yeah, you get to play either either it's either laser tag out in a field or the extermination game that's cool yeah yeah we got rock climbing y'all we got zip line and then we got genocide too uh anything you guys want so whoever you want to be you want to be rewind it's it's your. I recommend being the army though. Um, I mean,

it is like crazy because like, I'm pretty sure that was the same year that they showed us, um, this like three hour TV movie with like, Don, it has a pretty stack cast though. Like Donald Sutherland, Sutherland about,

um, it's called uprising. And it's about like the Warsaw ghetto. And, and like, it is pretty fucking crazy to uh like you know be like a 14 year old at summer camp and like horny and subjected to like five different kinds of political propaganda that push you in a different way like i'm now perhaps realizing that

that wasn't such a quote-unquote normal experience all right all right so we got two games for tonight take your pick we got here on the So we got two games for tonight. Take your pick. We got here on the left, we got pin the tail on the donkey. Here on this other side, we got blow up the halal cart. So just listen. They would have us watch the Left Behind movies, dude, at like 1 in the morning. And they would have us.

I remember one camp I went to. Dude, my dad got so into those. He learned about Christian literature and was like, Noah, these people are crazy. And I was like, yeah. Admittedly, Left Behind is pretty fucking nuts. It's insane, but I remember watching it and I was like, it was the first time I had gone to an actual Christian camp. I think I was maybe 11. And we watched it.

It was super late. We stayed up. And then they turned the TV off. And again, they've got the Protestant intense gravitas thing. They got it down because the guy walks in front of the fucking rolled out like vhs tv thing and he's like so how many of you um show of hands thought that what you just saw was just a movie and we were like oh it's a movie he's like it is a movie but i need you to understand yeah for the uninitiated this movie's a big like like

you know, like, shocking early event is that, like, the rapture happens and a bunch of people disappear from the airplane. It's fucking Michael Bay's revelation is what it is. Like, it's insane. And, yeah, and so we were like, oh, it's a movie, and he was like, it is.

It's a dramatic reenactment of what will occur. And you have to ask yourself a question. Did you see how difficult, how scary it was to be let, one the people left behind hopeless and so if you don't want to be that way all you have to do is give yourself over to the lord tonight and and those instances and it made me feel very much like i was like oh dude man i think i like jacking off and I think I'm gonna smoke weed in a couple years too yeah yeah yeah I have to imagine that that is like what that response like provokes in you at a certain point it's just like you're like all right man listen

I'm I I wasn't really sold on it before but I am gonna go try yeah yeah it has that effect on people where like I know that they did the drug-scaring thing and the sex-scaring thing. And then, like, the first time I fucking smoked weed, I was like, yeah, I'm going to do this a bunch. And, like, first time I did pills or anything. And then you have sex before you're married and you're like, yo, they're full of shit. This shit fucking smacks. Like, this is badass. This is the coolest shit in the world.

I also imagine that, like, when then, like, you know, like, one of them goes to a psychologist, and they're like, so listen, have you tried nutting? You know? Yeah, yeah. Like, it's sort of like, well, the doctor, the doctor said I should nut, honey. The doctor recommend... I know the wedding's not until April, but he's saying I'd be a lot happier if I nutted.

I'd be less stressed. I'd be happier at church if I just busted a rope somewhere in the vicinity of your body, you know, at nighttime. Yeah. It's, you know, he even said it doesn't have to be with you. I just need to nut. It's the only way the homicide will stop. I'm going to really hurt everyone in this house if something else doesn't happen. I think that they should, you know, disallow me from being in school zones.

Until I nut, the doctor said he said that i uh he asked he said that uh schools nursing homes and um even churches i should i should probably hold back on until i know oh man yeah he listen babe i know this is really important to both of us high school sweethearts and all that but um yeah you know how i've been pushing you into the pool real hard lately? Just kind of like at our pool parties, I've been tickling you and kind of gripping your rib bone. And, like, you know, when we play fight, I put you through the sheetrock last Saturday. I could stop doing all that if you just, like,

I think it probably won't take a second you just suck on it. Just maybe, like, just a little bit. Doctor's orders. So everybody just lies. Yeah, like, so not everybody. There are some. Not everybody,

as it turns out. But yeah, a lot of people do. A lot of people slip up in the eyes of the Lord. And you know, it's real annoying. A lot of people

mess up one time and then they don't uh and then they change their mind about it and then you have to be like oh sick yeah i changed my mind too yeah nice yeah i was also thinking that sucked yeah i hated getting my dick sucked by you it sucked i really didn't like it you know i didn't like the the feeling or anything it didn't like it. I didn't like the feeling or anything. It wasn't like, I didn't just decide to not kill myself. That's cool. Yeah, we shouldn't do this again, honestly. I'm glad.

I'm sorry that Satan took a hold of me. And that house party. And let me partake of that with you. And honestly, I was really conflicted whenever you said that you wanted me to do that i thought for us i thought for several seconds you know what i mean when your butt was bouncing onto my penis i was i was so mad at you so angry i was so angry for betraying my lord one of the types of guys that you really get to see a lot, and I don't know, I'm sure there's a version of it kind of growing up, you know, Yeshiva and all that. But the, okay, when you grow up like super churchy Southern Baptist-toed boots, bootcut Wranglers,

fucking cowboy hat, all that shit. And then you meet him. It's like your friend Timmy's dad. You go over there to fucking. Yeah, it's like my name is Cloud. My name is Eustace. I think you've been playing with my son. He plays on your pony team.

This is my wife Marie, and Marie's just like this. Just eyes gone gone she's so fucked up on xanax and i just thought it was so you and my boy love i love the way y'all play because because he don't he don't make too many friends and of course timmy is just completely psychotic he's he's like hey do, how much open carrying is there in this kind of world? Everywhere. All the time. It is. I do enjoy, like, the air of menace that that just has to add to, like,

the most mundane encounters like this. So, like, that Lindsey Graham guy, all of a sudden, it's like, he's like, you know, like, you know, underneath that, it's like, he's like, I could end your life. Well, you know, if this gets out of hand. uh there was ha ha go ahead don't so it's it's not very common but in texas they randomly legalized open carry of swords a few years ago i worked at tj maxx at the time and there was this dude who would come in wearing like blown out and one shorts and he would have a fucking katana dude i'm dead serious he would have like a belt over his he would have like a sling over his and one

shorts wife beater fucking like replica japanese sword and the first time he walked in i was like i was like 16 or 17 and i was like hey can this guy have a fucking sword in here and the manager was like oh yeah it's cool it's like it's legal now i'm like i can't fucking put it in the car and she's like no it's fine yeah it's open carry i'm like he has a sword he's looking at colonna he has a fucking sword there was uh that i just also like that you have somebody going to tj maxx off it was a regular dude he would i would be like there's a one guy with a fucking sword why what is he what is he getting a tj maxx on a regular basis he had a wife and kids no he did not he would go there with his family and he was the dad of the sword.

And it pissed me off every time. I'd go, this guy's in Weatherford, Texas. Why does he have a – what does he need a sword for? The fucking – I think I told you about this, Thomas. There's a group of guys. I think they're like 20 or 30 strong. And once a month they go up to the Capitol in Austin, and they open carry – you can open carry rifles too.

Or they have their like AR-15s or whatever and i was driving i think i just moved to the city i was going to do stand-up somewhere and uh i was like i just saw like six guys walk by in like white button-ups and like black slacks and like fucking like assault rifles and i was like what the fuck is going on and then i read one of their picket signs they're an anti-circumcision like they they consider themselves like a cell oh they're not like that's that's they're everywhere when i was in college i saw those guys all the time there is the hatness of it i I understand them, but combining like carrying your AR-15 to yell at people. One guy, one of my Uber drivers, I told Tom about this.

Listen, dude, you don't want to know what Jews are willing to do to defend their right to do it. Will told me that the, I had to ask him when we did the Chapo shows, and we were at a bar after the Houston show. And we were bullshitting, and I go, at a bar after the houston show and we were bullshit and i go hey man i gotta ask you something he was like what's up and he i was like is the sucking the baby thing is that real or is that like a very very small group of people do it but they're like it's like not like a widespread practice it's like a really indefensible yeah custom of like a small sect mostly in new york uh but what makes it so fucked up uh aside from the and it's like it extends me like that's the that's the specific case in question people like like the incidents that

people talk about i'm sure it is more widespread under the like in ways in places where it's not discussed um like i have friends who grew up like hasidic and it's like it's there's a lot of stuff wrong in that kind of world that people obviously don't talk about publicly uh but like they like yeah like it's it's a it's a it's a like circumcision you know fairly normal you know. If somebody's opposed to it, I understand. But it's been going on for a couple thousand years. Whereas the other thing with the baby penis in the mouth or whatever, that's not good. That's both not good on a fundamental level.

I disagree with it. Everybody, Noah doesn't think it's cool. And I do want to push back a little bit on that because i feel like the baby penis thing has been going on for maybe even longer than that and whenever you suddenly add you suddenly gatekeep it you know the catholic church has had a hard enough time you're gatekeeping baby penis at that point and it makes people say do i even why am I even going to church? You know what I mean? Where am I going to get my son's penis sucked out?

If not, you know, they'll go to the Catholics. Pope Francis will suck on women's feet at church whenever they want. It's a beautiful thing. And you don't, you know, I'm sure maybe T.D. Jakes does it. I don't know. I'm sure there's pastors who do it, but you don't see it know, I'm sure maybe T.D. Jakes does it. I don't know. I'm sure there's pastors who do it, but you don't see it as much in the Protestant community. And for those, you know, devout foot freaks,

they're looking for places, you know. I think the churches that do the, or the synagogues that do the penis thing, maybe they move on to feet. I think that's more socially correct. That's a good compromise. I think that that would actually yeah maybe an armpit thing you know I don't know remember when the Dalai Lama asked that kid to suck on his tongue

man that was that was well no but like there was I couldn't remember like I'll confess that like there was somebody who said it was like some idiomatic or culture thing like I can't tell, like, I'm,

I'm not willing to, that one, that was a little bit too pat for me. That like, if it is like that, maybe you should, maybe they should do a little bit of reflecting on that. That's just me.

I'm willing to go so far as to say, you know, as whitey. I mean, maybe like aunt Ethel saying now come give me a kiss is like the equivalent of saying. Right. Sometimes there's a mistranslation where, you know, you think it comes across some way where you think he's saying, hey, come fuck my ass. And really.

Right. Right. Right. Come read a book. You know. Yes. something. And really he's saying, come read a book. You know? Yes, yes. And maybe we're wrong. I mean, you know, maybe we should look within ourselves.

We should. And we should maybe, maybe I'll retract, I'll backpedal a little bit. As a mayo-ass white boy, maybe I shouldn't be telling what, like, free Tibetansans what they can and can't do in their spare time. Yeah, the Dalai Lama's tongue is just too spicy for us. I just can't handle spicy, zesty cultures. Me, I'm an inbred you know southern man so i don't i don't understand

you know it is kind of the the catholic church thing and then what you were talking about noah like the protestant version of that i think is just like half of the men in the church or maybe a quarter being like i experienced i actually i i i did the one thing that gives you a first-hand insight into what the protestant version of that is which is i did boy scouts uh i am an eagle scout and boy scouts is the protestant version of that all of the gay all the guy the lindsey graham guys we're talking about they were the ones that were like um my scout leader uh we camping. We camped over the weekend next to a water treatment. It was not a campsite. It was just a water treatment plant.

An abandoned water treatment plant in Southeastern. Just the ditch next to it we just set up tents and camped for the weekend. We were right next to a feeder road. Just right by a highway. And he was like, okay so the first night we're going to um

we're going to go learn how to navigate so we're going to go out into this little wooded area it was just tall grass you could see like you there was no way you know and a little bit of time has to pass for this to make sense uh like i didn't stick around for the boy eagle scouting i didn't get all my badges i thought it was honestly i'll use i thought it was gay as shit i thought it was just stupid i you know whatever yeah well and uh later on in life i i found out that guy was doing he was putting up fucking numbers he was kobe bryant of being a real man of ill repute and those Boy Scout trips. And hindsight's always 20-20 in that stuff where you just,

you know how when an asteroid gets real close to Earth, all the scientists start talking like, you know, oh my God, you know, it's 10,000 miles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had one of those experiences like every other weekend for like six months. Oh, my dad told me that his Scoutmaster, he like learned years later was a fucking was

prolific yeah yeah uh yeah i mean it's it's it's like uh i it was never something i experienced firsthand and admittedly like the like like the the few like annoying like conservative or christian types in the troop i had as a kid where like, they were more curiosities. Like it was actually kind of helpful to like have them there. Cause I was like, Oh, so this is like what a Bible belt asshole would be like, like,

you know, he's, this is like my limited exposure. Like this is the kind of guy who buys the Confederate belt buckle on our camping trip to Harper's ferry. It's, it's always like always not shocking because i'm kind of used to at this point but when you meet a guy who will do the 2a spiel like they they

they made it for us it's where a well-armed militia they give you the whole spiel they've got the big lifted truck you know they've got the three white fat sticky sons and all that shit but again i know that the gaydar is considered offensive but come on they'll and all that shit. But again, I know that the gaydar is considered offensive, but come on. They'll do all that shit, and the whole time they're like, yeah, you know, when I got the F-150,

it just wasn't big enough. So we went with the King Ranch, and you're like, dude, you could be happy. You could move to the fucking, you could move to Dumbo with all of your oil and gas money that little neighborhood under the bridge and you could

suck and fuck Italian artists till the cows come home brother you don't gotta live this lie no more and that I did it's I did meet once I was actually a friend of mine who went to St. Ed's oh yeah that's where I went yeah yeah so

we were I was visiting we're like i was visiting his uh his family has a house in cape cod and we're walking and we went and like we're talking to somebody and he goes away and was like oh yeah like i forget i think he works an oil company we looked it up and he was like like a like a very very senior executive at conoco phillips and it was like oh like you can like do all like that's like the most texas job i ever saw and like you could just do that and like live in fucking cape cod massachusetts like who gives a fuck like you know fucking like leave your family yes quit the church move to fucking i mean is it doesn't't Dallas have a gay neighborhood? Yeah, they all do, but Dallas is funny because the Dallas snobbery thing is true.

So you get up there and it's a lot of like, well, I do declare type gay guy. You know what I mean? But like younger, I guess, and hipper, but it's still very much the kind of Dallas hoity-toity, you know. Because the Houston gay neighborhood, like Montrose, it's like artsyy. A lot of gay neighborhoods. I think the one in Dallas is a little bit more like, you know, could be wrong. Thomas, you're well-equated. You go there all the time. You tell me that you can't stop going there.

It's because of problems in your personal life. I went to Dallas yesterday. It was the first time in close to a year. I don't know. I'm at the gay neighborhood. You go there a lot Oh You say that

Yeah I know which one You're talking about Yeah it's called Thomas' place It's called the Thomas Thomas Town There's actually one Called State Thomas

But it's not I don't think it's A gay neighborhood I mean there's probably Gay people there Gay Not I mean

I mean there's Probably the same amount Of gay people there Whether I'm there or not Honestly It was If I had to guess I mean, there's probably the same amount of gay people there, whether I'm there or not, honestly. It was a... If I had to guess.

I was telling Thomas, like, growing up in, like, where I, you know, the town I was in, and, like, you know, in and out of the church. My dad was not religious. My dad, you listen to the show, so you know who my dad is. But when I moved to Austin, I didn't know that there... I thought there was only one type of gay guy that was allowed to exist and that was twink that was the only loadout you could be you know neon shirt and like zero percent body fat what's the fucking bar in

austin was it barbara is not a gay bar but they do twos gays um yeah yeah oh yeah okay that's how that's that's i've been yeah okay there we go there we go. That's why I think. But when I moved to Austin, they so they have like a whole scene out here and all the bars are almost like, you know how when you go to Markarth and Skyrim and it's like different types of NPCs and you go to a different place. I was at the Iron Bear and it was like a bunch of welders, guys that look like my dad. And I was like, these guys aren't gay. They have Carhartt jackets on and they can bench press like 400 pounds and they have accents and like mustaches and shit. And then I and then I was like, oh, there's like a whole genre of gay guy that's like I work on a boat. You know what I mean? Like that. Well, yeah. And Austin is also like city of a thousand.

Yes, it's daycare. Like every one of them is going to have their own bar. Like here's the bar for the gay guys who look like welders. Here's the bar for the gay guys who look like firefighters. Here's the bar for gay guys who look like Lindsey Graham. He's got such a sick ass life. I, I definitely,

I mean, it is like, I would love for him to like croak, you know, natural cause or whatever. And then just like, you know, a 25 year old emerges and it's like, Oh yes. I was his boyfriend, you know, for or whatever and then just like you know a 25 year old emerges and

it's like oh yes i was his boyfriend you know for like 10 like i just i would love i you know that would to me be the like he accomplished his mission in life and then got to thomas you should do it you know we got to from from what i yeah actually take take one for the team, dude. I've read some rumors about him that he has, like, an insane wart situation on his butt. Have you guys read about that? He has warts on his butt, and he calls them, like, his lady butts or whatever. Oh, my God.

Is that real, or did that come out as fake? Maybe. I didn't hear about it being fake but it was from a gay escort okay i'm but but then again i mean i hope it's real it's real it could have been you guys do you guys know the the rick perry yes i was just about to bring that shit up yeah yeah yeah yeah i love that like the like he because there was like some gay guy who was in the texas uh state like like in the state legislature and he like tracked down this rumor it was that a guy on craigslist uh like was like you know told like where to go like go to this motel room

or this hotel room close the door keep the lights off you know get in bed and like somebody will be in and this guy comes in they have gay sex uh guy who you know came in leaves and uh the guy in the bed you know sees you know from the light for the hallway who is it that he just had gay sex with awesome uh and I love that. I love Rick Perry gay lore. I think it's one of the great subtle political stories of our time. I like the idea of Rick Perry finishing having sex

and then realizing it's a gay guy as he finishes. Whoa, hey, whoa now. I didn't mean that. Hey, I better get my boots. I mean, he really chanced it with those glasses. One of my professors was like a capital frequenter,

wheeler and dealer. I don't even remember what he did before he started teaching. I don't know if he was a lobbyist. He may have been. But at the end of the semester, he took us all out to dinner, and then a couple of us went out drinking after, very not professional, and this guy was a very, very odd dude, but he got a couple shiners in him,

and he would tell these stories, and I heard them more than one time from him and then from somebody else who worked at the Capitol, I heard years later after I graduated, that at these, like these really expensive galas, like these donor dinners, or these kind of redneck rich fancy parties that a lot of the Texas old money elite go to,

somebody's ranch, that if the timing is right, and the atmosphere is right, Rick Perry will have two glasses of champagne, and this voice here, this one, this one, abortion will never be legal in Texas, or the fucking tower at UT will turn maroon and white. That voice goes, and the motherfucker just starts floating around the room.

Hey, I was just wondering, where were those little sandwiches? I mean, I just, I love them. And he told, my professor was like, ran into him at one of those and was like hey rick uh you know nice to meet you man i uh you know i know you work hard for the state um oh my goodness who who are you with are you are you with somebody at the end and he he said that he physically like he was like dude i didn't know what to do man i was like oh um i'm i teach at a school around here and uh i uh bye and then he was he said he was so uncomfortable because he he wanted to so bad be like you do not talk like this you do not talk like what is happening you know but no i mean it's

i it's definitely uh it's because most of the time that shit is overplayed with politicians. But there are a couple guys where it's like, yeah, all right, man. We just have to pretend. We just have to act like this. Like, I know some male cheerleaders, they're not gay guys. And it's just that they're just sublimated athletes or whatever. But that's not you, Rick. That's not you. That was actually mad funny.

Do you remember when they had to publish his report card from college? I don't remember that at all. Oh, yeah. It was one of these lessons of don't go to a public school if you're a politician. Because I guess somebody FOIA'd it or something. And he was a really

shitty student. Which I thought was like, well, duh. He wasn't. What did people expect? Like fucking good. Well, Rick, it would appear you are once again top of the class for the semester. Your paper about how much you like peanut butter is maybe the greatest thing I've ever seen.

is maybe the greatest thing I've ever seen. Well, for my... Now, Rick, we've asked you to deliver a speech on your capstone project, which is about why it feels good to be warm. Yeah, you... Man, I mean, you brought a tear to my eye in that third chapter of your senior thesis where you said that going to bed is good for you.

I just didn't know how else to do it. Well, you were going to finish us off with the third leg of this abortion debate, Mr. Perry, and we sure are glad you were here to talk about your grandma's pecan pie um so that'll be an a for you this semester thank you you have a good you have a good summer you're the only uh we made a summer school specially for you rick uh yes yes yes you're we'll we'll have your gold sticker uh in the mail it'll be in the mail with your diploma. I told Thomas, but you know about the name of his ranch, right? Yeah.

Yes, I know about it. It's tradition. It's tradition. I didn't know about it. I am unfortunate. I mean, that's also one of those ones where, like, when you learn about it, you can't not, like, it's a hard fucking thing to forget.

I told everybody, like, I was going to house parties and, like, bars and restaurants and going to see friends for, like, a year after, dude. And you know that, remember that old Onion article that was, like, a man at party can't wait to tell friend that John Lennon beats his wife or whatever? Like, yeah, yeah, that was the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I get, like, two beers in me and I was like, you know the governor's got a ranch out in the middle of fuck off nowhere? Oh, that's like, I, like, I've, fortunately I'm socialized past this stage, I think. But like, that, um, the, uh, George Bush, what is it? Like, Neil, like, John Hink, who was it?

Like, was it like H.W. Bush was going to meet with John Hinkley's brother The day that John Hinkley Jr. shot Megan Yeah Like I just You know like the brain breaking single Like Dorothy Hunt, Howard Hunt's wife Like bought like a $100,000 life insurance policy Before getting blown up in that plane

All of the One of the reasons i like your your show a fuck ton is because i have i have conspiracy brain really really fucking bad like really bad and you guys have you guys do a good job of like you know um including tidbits that are like for me i go completely off the deep. Like I'm one of those like everything is the CIA guys all the time. That's just, you know, and, you know, 9-11. My dad showed me loose change when I was like 10, and I'm still a 9-11 for truth guy until the day I die.

But anyway, I'm like I still to this day, like if I'm at somewhere and it really ruins the vibe and I'm drinking, I'll be like, hey, have you guys seen Who Took Johnny? Do you know about the franklin scandal you guys ever heard about that and and they're like no what's that and then i tell them about it and they're like somebody will inevitably tell me like two weeks later like hey man um next time we want to watch the ufc fights can you not can you stop talking about like child pedophile rings please it just i the thing is though is that like look man like there is like another side to it which is is that like, it's, I do think a lot of it's in the delivery because it's like a lot of the times, like I end up having that conversation with people, like they're fucking

gross, dude. They get excited. Cause especially, I mean, maybe it's, you know, like podcast voice or whatever, but it's just fucking like, cause like the example, like I remember was I got invited. I went out with a friend to a bar to meet some of his friends a few years ago. And it was like around like some development of the Epstein thing. And I like made a very positive first impression on this group of people by just very like simply explaining who Jeffrey Epstein was, why he was in the news. Like it was like,

it was a fucking, it was like a social layup, you know, and one, you know, forgetting like that's on the wrist. Like it was awesome. So what I'm saying is that you should continue and you should actually ramp it

up because the social dividends will come. if you if you uh build it and by build it i mean your psychosis uh they will come yeah i like the idea of you encouraging jake and then he just becomes schizophrenic and he's like did you know that xin ping rapes me and drinks my blood every night and he's like no no one told me it's fine he told me he said he's right my crazy voices in my head are actually good and they make me smarter they tell me that i did you know obama's a lady well the thing about this shit is like i like people who are like debunkers i'm like the the i i truly i have no evidence to back this up i truly believe that all of the woo woo crazy right wing conspiracy

like nonsense is some sort of op because if you fuck the noise to signal ratio up and everything's a conspiracy then nothing is and then you're crazy and and everything that is true becomes a part of you know um adrenochrome and all this crazy whatever the fuck but i i have it bad in the sense where i'm like oh um you know this completely normal evening we're having have you ever heard of north fox island do you know who was hanging out there around that time oh also the guy that built the bombs for the czarniv brothers he's just walking around i oh that's my that's one of my favorites i talked to there's a one of the journalists who covered that story originally uh she and i don't have a ton in common but like

i'm like fast you know i like we we periodically talk about that case uh and it's in part it's just like that fact like that like she's and she's this like crazy thick boston accent she's like like you know he's just walking around you know like it's or like it's i Boston accent. She's like, he's just walking around. I mean, it's like Boston. The Boston-Jersey accent convergence needs to be studied. Needless to say, I was floored by it. I do think, though, actually it was funny. We were texting before I came on the show,

and you brought up Casolaro. And I just did the choppo with the guys who did that documentary and i think it was great and one of the reasons i like it is because i think something that it does that like i think also i've learned through doing blowback or at least an attitude i've come to have about it that stuff is like you know like conspiracies are real like the idea that there are like you know hidden forces of the elite like at work to manipulate events to outcomes favorable to that like it's just true whether it's in the assassinations political blackmail like whatever like that stuff happens however like you will go

crazy and be like a dum-dum if you don't find a way to like integrate that stuff into like i think you know like a like a system of thought that like actually can explain like, well, how does the world work? Yeah. Because like, it is, you know,

like it's, it's like, I don't believe that it's just like irrational and unknowable and just like a pile of calamities. Like, I think we could, we can figure some stuff out. And it's like,

you know, like that documentary did such a good job of laying out like these conspiracies as conspiracies in different ways but also as like you know like fucking just like one dimension of like the story of like this major change in the country like and you know the documentary didn't even try to do that but it sort of points out like you got the saving the savings and loan scandal you have the fucking like transformation of indian casino gambling you have uh literally this like bizarre case with inslaw you have the iran iraq war in israel and you know so it's like you can tell a kind of story about just like history period and these things are all part of that they're not the whole thing uh and they're certainly often like you know given

short shrift in the conventional telling but like they're just part of the story they're not like a secret separate knowledge that's actually like you know once you get all of like the 150 conspiracy pokemon you will understand everything you know like you will achieve like paranoia nirvana and uh and like that is you know sort of like what the internet i think like can kind of incentivize like social media kind of incentivize but like in general i really do want people to like get conspiracy headed and believe all that stuff just insofar as it's like it becomes something interesting for them to consider in relation to like you know the rest of the fucking world and not just like i don't know i mean i'm sure

you've seen the same dumb posts i have about people who are just like well you know i'm not sending my child to preschool because uh i know what happened to mcmartin and it's like shut the fuck like like like you the fact that you have kids makes me want to call the cops on you like yeah like i would never do that to anybody except for you person i just invented for the purpose of this like right conversation yeah i don't know i like part of me i had like a one of the funnier ones with with my fiance was like i was watching the oliver stone like jfk you know uh documentary that came out a while back. And I love that whole thing because I'm thoroughly convinced. And I and again, they made a point in the Castellero documentary that's like once you start thinking like this, it's very hard to stop.

And you kind of have to keep yourself in check to kind of like, you know, whatever your view of the world changes. But anyway, I was watching the documentary in bed and she's like, oh, is this about like the JFK thing? And I was like, yeah. And she was like, oh, I think i've heard a little bit about that like i might want to watch it i was like oh you should and then i started to go into it but i was like really tired i was like i'm gonna pass out she's like you mind if i started over and watch it and my fiancee is like she's interested in this stuff but not to the level that i am like it drives me nuts sometimes anyway i wake up at like four in the morning and she's just like like watching the end credits and she goes to me

i'm like half asleep she's like they they killed that motherfucker dude and i and i was like oh yeah yeah yeah and she was like i see i kind of get why you're you know because i'll be in bed reading like olds like the when the cia was pretending to be fucking like vampire like answar you know and i'm she's like what is this and i was i was like oh they do all sorts of goofy shit it's fun it they have carte blanche blank check to just be the most evil like crazy puppeteers of the world you know whatever anyway i don't go on a rabbit hole about that shit um no but it is fun to like when people who like are normal can be presented with something that like tells a story about this stuff or tries to explain it or contextualize it and it's not just like totally off-putting it's like oh wait no no no i'm not just like totally crazy for being

seduced by this and i'm not just like you know like i'm not like a conspiracy freak or whatever i'm just like somebody who is you know i mean it's like to me that's part of at least one of the things i think brendan and i try to do is like if you position it as part of like a good story and you tell like you know are able to present like a bigger picture then like yeah people have like a pretty big appetite for fucking weird stuff whether it's like germ warfare killing jfk yeah i i think also like uh you guys have a lot more in-depth knowledge than like a lot of the basic conspiracy shit i see like like that comes across on like youtube and tiktok and stuff like i see um i think a lot of people younger than, like people who are in high school and early college now are just now like finding out about stuff like operation paper,

stuff like where I'm like, like to me, at least I have a very entry level knowledge of conspiracy stuff. I never like, I I'm bad about if I look at conspiracy stuff for more than like 30 minutes, I like start having a breakdown. I feel like, so like I know about like paperclip and some basic stuff like that, but not like you guys.

But I see people being like, go on the Wikipedia for Operation Paperclip. And I'm like, there is so much. There are so, so many more things you can know about. I think guys like you guys who can explain that stuff and have a a knack for storytelling i think that's definitely like not that everybody needs to be making a living off of you know the suffering in the world and all that but you know what i mean like good i mean good storytelling in that department that's not by actual schizophrenic people sometimes the schizophrenic people are better i love i mean i I will say it was kind of funny recently seeing, like, at least two people I've, like, picked fights with on Twitter

in the last, like, two months, like, close up their conspiracy theory Twitter podcast or whatever. And it's like, all right, I win. Whenever, like, whenever I was younger, when we were talking about 9-11, I was bringing this up, but I forgot. But now we're back on the subject of this shit. When I was a kid, yeah, my dad showed me. Dude, right after it happened and I was going over to my dad's every other weekend, it engrossed my dad.

Because my dad was not a political guy. He never went to college. I think it took him five years to finish high school. He was not what you'd consider like a smart guy. He was also like a really pretty sick dude and like, you know, druggie or whatever. But he was engrossed by this shit. And he was also engrossed in with some of the more cartoonish ones

like Skull and Bones and the Purcellian Club and all of the finals clubs. You know, he thought that, you know. But he was really really really really convinced and like I mean I think it's like you know to your point though it's like it's a it offers a pretty compelling way to explain the

world if you're working on limited information and he was telling me he was like he gave me the whole rundown or whatever and was like alright Black Eagle Trust Fund Larry Silverstein. Okay. And then what happened is Seven was supposed to go down, but it didn't quite happen how they wanted it to happen.

So they had charges. There was a construction company that came in two weeks prior to do the windows and they set the charges or whatever. He gave me the whole rundown. Dude, I go to like third grade the next day because I feel like when you're a kid, even though my dad was kind of a dipshit, you think your dad is, like, God. So, and the way that he described it to me, I was like, oh, everyone either knows about this already, and if they don't, they must know. So I'm going, and, like, I raise my hand, and we're doing, I forget what, we were talking about the Civil War or something. I don't even fucking remember.

Like, elementary school history. You sure? Just bring a building seven. And I raised my hand, and I was like, hey, and this is only, like, six or seven months gone from 9-11. I think I was in, like, third grade. It was the second when it happened, and then I think I, like, third grade, I remember this happening. I was like, oh, so you raised my hand, and I was like, so, oh, like, Civil War, like, when it when it kicked off like kind of like how 9-11 like they got into 9-11 so they could start a war with uh with the middle east and my teacher was like

what and like I didn't articulate I didn't articulate it that clearly I was a kid but I remember something along the lines like oh we want to go to war yeah we we did 9 a weapon so we could do war for Jewish oil and blood. Literally like, oh, so what basically. For the Woffchild. The continuity of governance means that Dick Cheney, he goes into the bunker and he weaves Donald Wumsfeld dead to die. And Wumsfeld was very confused, you know. And I had to go to the print. In a few years, there's going to be a show called The Weave.

And the guy who started the show, you should look into his dad. Nick Kuo's dad. Nick Kuo, yeah. And he's going to make a show about little girls fingering themselves and stuff. It's going to be cool. It's going to be like a comedy. He needs to go to jail. I don't know if any of you guys ever heard.

I don't know. He needs to go to jail. Anyway, you had to go to jail like anyway um you had to go to the principal's office and the principal I remember was like one of those times where it's like an adult's trying not to laugh but they have to be mad at you and I was like well my dad he told me my daddy told me that um George Bush's daddy uh George Bush's daddy he um he's like uh what was it the AC the cbi and he say that that they're the ones that basically they work with the tower band to do the towers and the principal was like can we get mr

rhodes on the phone we just got we gotta call it anyway man we've been crushing this motherfucker for a long ass time uh this is the longest episode we've ever done but uh noah thank you so much for coming on uh yeah this is a lot of fun no i had a good ass time you guys listen to you need to listen to blow back if you haven't um it's season four right yeah and then season five comes out in august it'll be about like cambodia china i'm so uh stay tuned we're gonna have more information where can they listen to you guys anywhere you get your podcasts uh all the episodes are available now if you want to listen to bonus episodes uh you can get a subscription uh and you can sign up for it at blowback.show the it at blowback.show

the website is blowback.show yeah thanks again man this was super fun till next time brother yeah this rocked thank you guys for listening by the way peace