Pendejo Time - B.U.N.T.

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

Beach University of North Texas in Denton. "Survivors Go Here." Support the Show....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Yeah, like I tried to it wasn't on the actual bar. It was just like on a bench press machine and dude I was struggling to put up like on the machine like 170 when I like which was not the case like three months ago. I did throw my shoulder out but like That's my excuse like when I get hurt like the first month i'm hurt and then like month two i'm like, oh because as we've talked about on the show before like it takes me like a good few weeks to enjoy lifting again but it takes one day for me to realize how much doing nothing fucking rocks you know i don't know if you're that way like if i just fuck up like once or twice it's
Starting point is 00:00:37 game over like i lay down when i'm supposed to be at the gym and i go oh this shit's badass and drinking beer too it's cool again i'm trying to do dry january actually which yeah that sucks uh yeah it's hard to do it yeah you've been you are you were just telling me earlier about how dry your january yeah i honestly even today has been really dry super dry yeah yeah bone dry jan me. Super dry. Yeah, yeah. Bone dry January, baby. Bone dry January. Yeah. I feel like my main problem... Well, not my main problem.
Starting point is 00:01:15 I don't know if I have a main problem. My main problem is the way I live my life. But in terms of fitness, it's like i'll it's i bet whenever i'm uh like really truly 100 abstaining from like drinking or nicotine living like. Living like a pig. Yeah, yeah. My diet becomes something like... It's like late stage, like... Orson Welles, was it? Or was that... Just like Turkish delight.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Who was it? Fuck. The guy who fucked Richard Pryor. Oh. He was in the Godfather oh Marlon Brando yeah yeah you know how he was just like 900 pounds he just yeah he was he was like drinking chocolate yeah he would like eat like tablecloths and stuff yeah I've become like that and it's because I still have the the center in my, you know, the pleasure center. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:27 It's like, actually, if you do this instead, you're being good, and you're doing a good thing. No, I'm the same way. Like, so I haven't bought a vape since last January. Yeah, nice. since last January. Yeah, nice. And I think I've bought Zins a couple times within the last few years.
Starting point is 00:02:52 I don't know what the... But like, you know, it'd be one of those things maybe I throw them out as soon as I get them or whatever where it's like, I think I finished one here and there. But I haven't been habitually
Starting point is 00:03:04 like having nicotine every day for a while. But in that time, you know, I'll go through phases where I drink more than I should. And then I'll go like two months without drinking without thinking about it. Yeah, yeah. Like I'll just forget to. Actually, that's not the same for me. I don't feel like I have a... I feel like I get fixated on stuff,
Starting point is 00:03:31 but I don't feel like I get addicted to anything. Except for nicotine, I did, actually, you know. Yeah, for sure. But you do anything, like, every day, all day, for years. You know, I could get addicted to... I don't know. Col coloring books if i didn't yeah yeah no i i get that i think like i don't have any i've noticed about myself like i don't have any in between like i either live like i'm training to like fight like I like going to the gym two hours a day no alcohol like super clean eating like fucking chicken rice broccoli and like getting like getting a good night's sleep
Starting point is 00:04:14 and fucking waking up and lifting in the morning and then like doing my tie at night and fucking doing all that shit and I'm like working out like 20 hours a week just going nuts or I'm fucking like uber eatsing like full like two pounds of fatty brisket and drinking like I'm drinking those alcohol yarditos that we don't like that taste bad but I'm just drinking them because they're like syrupy sweet and they get you drunk and I'm like fucking staying up to like six in the morning sleeping until fucking two like not doing anything except just like rot staying up to like six in the morning sleeping until fucking two like not doing anything except just like rotting away and like staying completely horizontal for like 20 hours I told you the day like I I realized like I checked my step counter
Starting point is 00:04:56 as I said I just started going to the gym like like maybe a week ago and I've been like four or five times um I checked my step counter for like the last few months i was averaging dude like less than a hundred steps a day do you understand like like that is like that's to the bathroom and then back to the couch and then like to my fridge for like a fucking grape tomato and then like those are the steps that you take when you're, like, end-of-stage hospice care. Like, to just wobble your way to the toilet to shit everywhere and then, like, lay back down or whatever the fuck. So I knew I had to get something going.
Starting point is 00:05:35 Yeah, I got a feeling you're going to thrive in hospice someday. I mean that in a good way. I think everybody else is going to be freaking out. I think you're going to be like, this is how i lived for a while yeah people are like yeah they're just like handing me fucking like benzos and painkillers and people like oh this stuff makes me sick i just wish i could walk around and i'm like nah dude this was this shit was bowers in hospice care from like 19 to 25 oh were you that you survived cancer? No, I was just bored.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Nothing else going on. I just figured I'd try morphine, and it ended up feeling awesome and tasting good. You know, it went well with everything else I had going on at the time. Yeah, I know I've been in a very spiritually fat place recently, because I like sea sweet and sour sauce at the grocery store and I like lick my lips yeah I know it's you dude uh I went uh I went to Houston you just I know exactly what you mean dude I went to Houston uh to see my little brother and watch my mom's dogs. And I wanted to like, me and Jaden watched the fights
Starting point is 00:06:47 and I cooked for him. And I went to H-E-B and I was getting shit to make burgers. Dude, when I make burgers, I don't fucking, I don't get fancy. I just go like pepper jack, lettuce, tomato,
Starting point is 00:06:58 and then like, the only thing I'll do is I'll like toast the buns on the pan with olive oil so they get the kind of like, you know, nice crisp. I walked past. It was a big H-E-B.
Starting point is 00:07:10 They just had sauces, and they had raspberry bacon jam. It was like $9. I don't need to spend the money on that, and I've never used anything like that in my whole life. But to your point, what you just said, I was like, oh, that sounds sexy sexy dude like that's like i'm like moaning in the line at heb like like i've just and again like i'm not a i'm not a paste guy i'm not a compote i'm not a reduction guy especially with burgers i'm just fucking old
Starting point is 00:07:40 school meat cheese lettuce get the fuck out of. But I saw raspberry bacon jam with like pecan glaze. And I was like, ooh. Like, I don't do that shit. It's not. Anyway, I bought it. It was fucking badass. It was awesome. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:56 But, you know. I like to window shop on the Chick-fil-A app. Dude, that's dark. I'll make mobile orders and i'll cancel them that's that's special that's that's for you baby that's that is i i i was gonna say like oh i went to a shop like old muscle cars on facebook marketplace but lots of guys do that you are getting like a spicy chicken deluxe like two mac and cheeses, a gallon of lemonade, and then just letting it ride. Just like close. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:27 I'll put in, for breakfast, I'll put in a 10-piece mini, orange juice, two Chick-fil-A sauces with the chicken minis, the 10 count. Beautiful. One Polynesian sauce with the small hash browns.
Starting point is 00:08:44 And then iced coffee, no milk, light ice. I got milk at home. You're not. You won't even hypothetically entertain the idea of getting milk for this order that you do not place. Is that what you're saying? Well, I'm combining orders that I've had. So I.
Starting point is 00:09:04 Oh, OK. As recently as last week, I had that order minus the coffee. But this morning I was window shopping and I realized that my go-to breakfast at Chick-fil-A is something between 1,700 and 1,800 calories. Yeah, I think we talked about this. The thing is, it's just little pieces of chicken and little pieces of bread, and that doesn't seem like something that would make a lot of calories. It's food for a creature. It's something I would give to a duck.
Starting point is 00:09:46 If I met a rabbit and he had on human clothes, i would give him that right right right yeah yeah so i don't think it's really real i don't think any of that shit's real and another thing i've been doing for my health is i've been taking creatine and not working out you texted me that the other day i remember yes i'm just my face is just really swelled up it's just red and sweaty like just laying in bed with like bloated as fuck like a jolly sam hide but it's all good you know i feel like a lot of stuff is just perspective yeah health is just perspective for sure 100 like i got some new pants the other day i ordered pants online because i don't really give a fuck about your life or no they were on clearance no return doesn't matter whatever
Starting point is 00:10:32 fuck the game up yeah and they were huge dude they were fucking massive pants when they came in the mail and i didn't mean them to be it was dickies and it said regular fit i thought i'm regular regular yeah regular guy i'll get regular fit these things were wide leg as fuck like they were the kind like when you see like old black dudes in like atlanta and they're like dress the nines but they got like the wide leg wide leg pants on yes like with the gator boots yeah they were like they almost look like rectangles on their legs Dude Comfiest pants I own Really? What's the waist size?
Starting point is 00:11:08 Or are they just big like in general? They're big in that they don't like taper like that You know what I mean? Like they're fucking And they're pleated too Nice Nice, that's badass Waist size is crazy
Starting point is 00:11:21 36 Not insane It's like divorce court lawyer pants. Yeah. Like big old fat divorce court. I've been rocking them with my square toes. Going to the store and stuff. I got my fucking sick ass leather jacket.
Starting point is 00:11:37 So I've been wearing black leather jacket, black cowboy boots, black Dickies pants with a black t-shirt tucked in black belt and then crumbs all over me you're going to fucking whole foods like a father's rights black guy like like a guy who lost his kids and he posts on facebook like hey hey listen y'all y'all women do a lot of talking but you don't want to walk the walk when it comes to raising your youngins. Posted, you're doing like men going their own way fucking fits. That's so sick. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:13 I mean, at the end of the day, what can you do? I think trying to dress like a cool black guy is all we have left to aspire to. You know what I mean? Well, here's the thing. There's so many different types of cool black guy because black guys are born cool. Like all the lingo, the slang, it's everything. You know, they just they just have a fucking swag. But you can be like, you know, fucking.
Starting point is 00:12:39 Who's a painter? You can be Basquiat, cool black guy. I can't. Or you can be like Steveiat, cool black guy. I can't. Or you can be like Steve Harvey, cool black guy. I feel like what you're describing to me is some cross between like Eddie Murphy, Raw. I want to be an unk. Yeah, you're getting close to unk. That's what you're describing to me. Because Steve Harvey is more, is not so unk.
Starting point is 00:12:58 He's an aspirational unk. Yeah, he's unking training. He's the unk that unks want to be but most unks will never be steve harvey because at the end of the day he's just a black monopoly man you know what i mean yeah yeah he's the way i see it dude that cat williams interview where he was like you think steve harvey got where he is without without taking it in his ass without sucking on it and fucking who's the guy that's interviewing the Steve? Shannon Sharp.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Yeah, Shannon Sharp has to be like, oh, now, come on. Come on, cat. You don't be... Come on, we can't be talking like this on the show. Like, just fucking absolutely digging into Steve. Who, like... I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:39 You know? Fuck it. You want to marry six women and write a book about being a rich black uncle? I tried to watch one of Steve Harvey's early specials, and it was ass, dude. It did not hold up. But it was funny to me how much of it was like preaching, but he was also like 22. He was like a 22-year-old with a mustache.
Starting point is 00:14:07 He was like, y'all taking God out of the home. Y'all saying we can't hit kids no more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was just like, man, this is awesome. Oh, dude, him talking about the Iraq War was insane. You ever see his stuff on that? I haven't seen it. No, no, no, I haven't. He was talking about how he was like, about the Iraq war was insane. You ever see his stuff on that?
Starting point is 00:14:28 He was talking about how he was like if I go out there I'm killing every motherfucker I see. And then he was just doing machine gun noises for like five minutes dude. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Who's that? Is that a child?
Starting point is 00:14:43 Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Every man, woman, child i'm killing everybody in iraq every terrorist in that motherfucker and it's like this is like right after 9-11 dude i was just like damn i mean i wasn't the first to find i saw the clip separately and then i uh you know kind of i was kind of not uh i was watching in bad faith because i kind of want to see i was like what's the context for this but also there's no way there's no way he can weasel his way out of this no no and he did not you like you you wait for the you wait for the tag or the punch line to be like, you know, something fucking. And that's how white people be talking at the cookout. But it's like, no, I want to do war crimes in a fucking zoot suit.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Yeah, I mean. Like a size triple XL zoot suit. I think a lot of stand-up clips are taken too out of context. For sure, yeah. But when you post eight minutes, you're giving them a lot of context. Yeah, eight minutes of like I want to kill children. That is over 10% of a special
Starting point is 00:15:54 most of the time. Steve Harvey to me seems like to me, older comedians from back in the day, even comedians now, like this is just certain comics they find their niche right and they like that's who they do steve harvey is like the black conservative comedian if that makes sense whereas like i don't know like bernie mack was just kind of like the dad that was like
Starting point is 00:16:18 i don't love my kids and that was hilarious and eddie murphy was like you know the fucking he his his old shit was like he's just dirty like he was like the shot comic or whatever richard pryor obviously just like i feel like patrice o'neill was kind of a little on the conservative edge of things uh he i don't know if he was just like intentionally controversial or what i don't know what i don't know where he is i other people know more about him than i do i don't want what i don't know where he is i other people know more about him than i do i don't want to misrepresent or anything but he seemed i mean some of his views were just straight up backward in nature but he was like early 2000s like machismo i don't think
Starting point is 00:16:58 he you know what i mean like there were just like certain guys that were doing that like y'all be talking too damn much need to be sucking on it you know what i mean white comedians were doing the same like andrew dice clay or whatever the fuck yeah i feel like he was he kind of was like a different wave of it but he definitely caught a lot of uh that was what kind of brought his career down if i recall correctly was like was like the first it was like kind of he came up in a kind of a bad time for that in which like, like women's rights were kind of like in the workplace and stuff were like being brought more attention to. So there were like protesters who showed up to shows and stuff, I think for a little while
Starting point is 00:17:39 and kind of got to his head. But Patrice? No, no. I'm talking about andrew dice clay but yeah well it's i don't know if you've seen any of like patrice clips go pretty viral and i'll see him doing a bit about like how um women clean the house too good or something you know just like a women be like men be like type thing and clearly i mean he's doing like jokes but the comments are like yeah i want to hurt a lot of women like he's become this like in like posthumously become almost like a like an
Starting point is 00:18:15 alt-right figurehead i don't know like maybe i'm reading too much into it but i'll see him just doing some bit about how like you know like 2000 like 1999 2000 comedy like damn i'm just trying to eat a sandwich and you be yapping and the whole crowd's like i wish there was an off button on this thing you know whatever yeah i feel like it's kind of the same thing with norm a little bit have you seen that yeah yeah i've seen some of that shit yeah yeah But, I mean, it sucks being a dead guy because then you can't say, hey, stop doing this. But if you're a dead guy, you know, if you're going to immortalize a comic for having, in your mind, the exact same political views as you, it's good to do it when they're dead because then they can't say, hey, this guy's fucking stupid. I don't know what he's got going on. Did you see the fucking AI George Carlin special?
Starting point is 00:19:09 I heard about it. I didn't watch it. I listened to like 10 minutes of it. And it was dog shit. And it was really sad because his daughter was like, this is not, you know, whatever. This is like, I guess it's not illegal, but like blah, blah, blah, blah. It's Will Sasso did it. The fucking mad TV guy.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Oh, yeah. He has a podcast called Dudezy. Check this out. Where he hosts the podcast with an AI. That sounds awesome. Yeah. Wow. Groundbreaking stuff. A podcast with AI. That sounds awesome Yeah Wow groundbreaking stuff
Starting point is 00:19:45 A podcast With AI Awesome Yeah yeah yeah No Will Sesso please tell me more Yeah anyway it was really It was really fucking stupid but I just imagine we're kind of like
Starting point is 00:20:01 Coming into this era where like nothing If anything ever was sacred I don't think if there was any like remnants of anything having any fucking importance to you know culture or art kind of sounds so fucking stupid but that's just gone like it's just over with you know
Starting point is 00:20:17 what I would call that man if I named him what would you call him big dog will asshole oh very because he yeah okay I you call him, big dog? Will Asshole. Oh, because he, yeah, okay. I would call him Will Fatso because he's fucking fat as shit and bald. I like that. You're a funny guy, Jake.
Starting point is 00:20:37 I think I'm going to keep you around. It took me three years to decide, but I think I'm going to have you. I think I want to do a show with you. I've really just been, I've mostly just been hanging out. Yeah, more like Will Bathrobe, because we all know what's under his, a fucking pussy. I'm just kidding. Anyway, you know, I feel like I. What about Will Lizzo?
Starting point is 00:21:06 Yeah. And he's like, he's not a fat white guy. He's a big, big, voluptuous singer. And he plays the flute. And he's like, you know, I'm on Mad TV. He's playing the flute and he's super fat. Yeah. What do you think about that, dude? I like that shit.
Starting point is 00:21:28 How about Will Gastro and it's like food or something. Will Gastro. You could have just said Gastro. Why'd you throw the G in there? Oh, is he a stomach doctor or are you going for Cuba? I thought gastro meant food. Oh, I thought you were- Gastro pub.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Dude, I'm stupid. I thought you were trying to say like Fidel Castro, but you were just like, no, he's got a tummy ache too. And he's Will Sasso and he's- Does gastro mean food? It means belly, I think. I'm fucking stupid. I don't know. Because I thought gastro pubant a bar that served food also
Starting point is 00:22:08 I think that's what it Gastropub to me means like Oh this food's gonna suck The uh The prefix gastro In the word gastropub Comes from the Greek word gaster
Starting point is 00:22:19 Which means stomach or belly There we go In this context Gastro refers to the folks On high quality food And often a casual Dining In this context, gastro refers to the focus on high-quality food and often a casual dining atmosphere. Hey, guys, we're going to go to the stomach pub. You guys want to hang out?
Starting point is 00:22:31 Yeah, I'd rather go to the asshole pub. Yeah, I'd rather go to the fucking boobs pub. Yeah, how about the blowjob pub? Yeah, how about the fucking having sex and eating chicken wings pub? Yeah. How about the fucking one million- The Finger Blasto pub. One million dollars in fucking pills pub.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Yeah. How about the Will Finger Blasto? Yeah, Will Finger Blasto, motherfucker. Yes, sir, yeah. motherfucker yes sir yeah how about how about instead of I don't even know what his original name was anymore
Starting point is 00:23:10 so oh Will Sasso Sasso yeah how about more Will Sassy Ho okay and he's got a little attitude problem
Starting point is 00:23:18 Real Sassy Ho how about instead of Will Sasso it's Fat Ass Asshole Piece of shit How about Fat Fucking Loser That I don't like
Starting point is 00:23:30 You fucking stupid idiot Yeah Will Uh No Will Blast Wait what were you gonna say This is a free one
Starting point is 00:23:42 It's okay You know Anyway To that guy If you want to come on And explain yourself We're gonna have an AI Adolf Hitler
Starting point is 00:23:53 Debate you And if he wins He's coming back This is like Fucking like a lifelong like a sketch comedian from mad tv like 40 years ago versus ai adolf hitler he just will says it doesn't speak german he's gonna get mobs the floor with this guy yeah yeah just yeah. Just AI Hitler taking Will Sasson to fucking church. It's just beautiful fucking loud German. Imagine you make the first AI bot and everybody comes to see it
Starting point is 00:24:32 and you clearly made him AI Hitler and everybody's like, how did you make such a complex Hitler, complex character to begin with? Why didn't you just do like a Cortana type thing? It was all the other names were taken i had to call it ai hitler but it's really uh really a different kind of thing it's a spanish word well none of the names were taken you're the first guy to invent ai so why yeah what do you mean all the names were taken? It doesn't stand for Adolf Intelligence. It stands for
Starting point is 00:25:07 something else. It stands for awesome ingenuity. Awesome icicle. Awesome icicle. My name is Adolf Intelligence Hitler. You better come with me. Adolf Intelligence Hitler. You better come with me. Adolf Intelligence Hitler.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Hey, what's up? My name's Adolf Intelligence. Name's Hitler. Intelligence. Adolf Intelligence Hitler. Hitler. Ian Fleming's like in the writer's room with James Bond. All right, yeah, so I got this spy guy.
Starting point is 00:25:53 He's like an SAS guy, like MI6 guy. Thinking about going with a classic British name, you know, something real slick. Adolf Intelligence Hitler. What do you guys think? Well, we like it. We think it's slick, sexy. Slick, yes. What about James Bond? Get him, kill him.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Eat him. Kill him, get him out of here. And also, we've got his beautiful lover, Ava Braun Computer. Fucking stupid. Fucking stupid. So he's an English spy. His name's Adolf Intelligence Hitler.
Starting point is 00:26:48 And he falls in love with a young Irish girl. Her name is Eva Braun Computer. And she's very, very intelligent. She's very, very smart. Almost like that of a BMI processor. Do you mean IBM in BMI? BMI is... Body Measurement Index, I think. processor do you mean IBM in BMI means
Starting point is 00:27:10 built to make intelligence and he has a close friend his name is Heinrich algebra him less building the first be Algebra him Dude you came in confident as fuck with that to the first beat of my computer just He's like close, you know, it's like close you know it's not bad yeah anyway it's Adolf
Starting point is 00:27:51 Intelligence Hitler and they have a Braun computer and they're building the first IBM computer oh mine algorithm
Starting point is 00:27:59 mine computation there we go mind computer mind computer it's just it's like a big ass book with just pictures of laptops in it like hard drives
Starting point is 00:28:21 it's like nothing no politics no economy oh surely you're not joining Like hard drives. It's like nothing. No politics. No economy. Yeah. Oh, surely you're not joining Hitler's Mouse. The youth organization. Oh, okay. Yeah, you had to add the tag on there for me to follow that one.
Starting point is 00:28:41 Yeah, Hitler's Young computers Ladies and gentlemen The Hitler's calculators And we've built a special highway Just for our citizens What's it called? The auto-download Very good Very very awesome Very very awesome
Starting point is 00:29:05 very very awesome this is surely the Axis powers have it combined now Adolf Intelligence Hitler as well as Eva Braun Computer.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Let's see. I'm not looking up a guy's first name. It's alright. As well as Benito C.D. Ra Mussolini. We have Joseph Mingler floppy disk
Starting point is 00:29:52 controls all of the biomedical research that we do. I'm not googling Japanese World War II guy. I'm not googling Japanese World War II guy. I'm not googling Hitler's friends. Guy's the guy who
Starting point is 00:30:12 was leader. He was the leader. Emperor Hirohito computer. Emperor. Emperor. Emperor of Japan World War II. Hiro. Hirohito
Starting point is 00:30:28 Windows Oh Hiro heat up a plate of computer Here to heat up a plate of computer Yes Against yes yeah
Starting point is 00:30:45 against uh if CDR stands for CD-ROM if you know FDR Ernst Ernst CD-D. Romm.
Starting point is 00:31:06 That one kind of works. Yeah, that one works. But he was a lesser known Nazi. Yes. And of course, of course... Hitler killed him in Night of the Long Files. Yes. And of course, who could forget the other one?
Starting point is 00:31:24 Winston Computer. Oh, he's forget the other one? Winston Computer. Oh, he's related to Eva Braun's computer, then. No. They're cousins, but not related. They're cousins, yeah. I thought maybe you were... They're cousins, but they're the kind of cousins who aren't related. I thought you were going to say Joseph Garble's laptop.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Joseph Gmail. Gmail. This is my minister of propaganda, Joseph Gmail. Oh, my God. They're sending the trains to Apple Store. Apple Schwitz. Oh my god, they're sending the trains to Apple Store. Apple switch. Oh, fuck. Joseph. They're invading... They're invading...
Starting point is 00:32:17 Push in the button to start the computer. Land. Instead of button. The battle for... Power. Button. Land. The battle for Leningrad's student computer.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Ah, yes. Thank you for joining us today, Adolf Intelligence Hitler. I see you've brought your beautiful wife, Eva Braun, computer. And your minister of propaganda, Joseph Gmail. And your lead doctor,
Starting point is 00:33:02 what did I name him? Joseph Mengele Laptop. The gang's all here. Ernest C.D. Rohn. Everybody thought he was gay. I think that's the rumor. My name is Adolf Intelligence Hitler. I come from a long line of computers.
Starting point is 00:33:26 My daddy, see, he was a, he was a bit of a computer himself. My grandpa was a little outdated. He was a, Abacus. Yeah, he was a, the sonograph,
Starting point is 00:33:42 or he was a, x-ray. I don't fucking know about inventions. My grandmammy was a letter. She got sent in the mail. My son, he'll be an iPad. We're honest intelligence hitlers in this family. We don't take shortcuts.
Starting point is 00:34:05 We don't take copy pastes. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that's true. Or I'm not the one true Firefox. Instead of Fuhrer. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:22 It helps when you add the part in there where i'm supposed to yeah firefox fear starts with the same letter so that's how you know i blew my brains out in a firefox bunker yeah well you know a lot of people they don't they don't know how they feel about the bombing of dresden steam dick do you want to hear a song i wrote about being a millennial but it's by the song it's by a group called kansas yeah sure carry on my ipad son there'll be apps when you are done lay your new software to rest don't download no more may i offer a suggestion don't download more porn maybe we could go that route what would my son be doing downloading filthy pornography onto his programs for? Is that what you're accusing my hypothetical son of doing?
Starting point is 00:35:32 I would just assume that if you have a kid later on in your life, that no matter how well you try to raise it, or poorly, that he'll probably look at pornography, seeing as... Do I have to look at it with him? You don't have to, but I know that some people do do that. Yeah, you do that. I don't have a kid. With your neighbor's kids. I don't look at it with any kids.
Starting point is 00:35:52 So, you know, that's kind of on you to prove that I've done anything like that. And you seem to be projecting, if anything, maybe implying that you have a guilty conscience about watching pornography with kids. Or you weren't projecting because you have a big TV. You're just putting it on there and showing it to them. No, I don't. I would have to project you. If I wanted to show a bunch of kids porn, I would have to use a projector because my TV's not that big.
Starting point is 00:36:15 Look, your TV's fine. Your TV's fine. I know that you can't have it like me. That's okay. Life isn't fair. It goes that way. I don't show it to them. You said that's why you got the big TV is so you could show kids more porn. No, I actually got the big TV so I could show children math and history and social studies. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:36:37 That's really brave. Yeah, it is. So you're like Socrates. Yeah, I am. I'm like him in normal ways. yeah I am like I'm not like I'm like him in normal ways not in the less than normal ways that you're implying as if I'm some sort of you know pedophile or pederast or pedagogical so that's not normal for you it's just a rare occurrence what being a good instructor of children no it's pretty normal for me because I used to teach philosophy to... He taught flossing teeth because he taught kids how to get your pubes out of their teeth.
Starting point is 00:37:10 There you go. Spit it out, big dog. Get it out. I got you. I said you taught flossing teeth. So they could get your pubes out of their mouth. Right, right, right. Well, that's very cute.
Starting point is 00:37:25 You thought it was cute when they did that? No, it's very cute that you turned philosophy, the study of fucking cool concepts and shit, into philosophy teeth, where children would remove pubic hair from their teeth. Yeah, you got a degree in that. I got a master's in philosophy teeth. In philosophy. Philosophy.
Starting point is 00:37:53 It's like trying to get an adjunct position at UT in 10 years. I'm like 40 years old. So it says here you got your undergraduate in poli-sci and philosophy. And then it says, oh, yeah, nice. You got your master's in philosophy from Texas State just down the down the road yeah i got my master's in flossing teeth excuse me yeah i got my master's in flossing teeth like moving removing pubes from children's teeth uh making sure their mouths are clean things like that uh i worked there for a couple years it was like it was like kind of like a dead end you know ta job basically i wasn't like the main flossing teeth professor.
Starting point is 00:38:27 They did most of the flossing. I just kind of... Yeah, I was just a TA tooth analyzer. Yeah, I was just a toddler analyst. Joking about that stuff isn't funny. I don't think it's funny to joke about that type of shit. Right. Because it's our jobs, about that type of shit. Right. Because it's our jobs, and we do take it seriously.
Starting point is 00:38:48 It is our jobs. On taxes. I think one of our forms says comedian or comedy, which I was like, you just put podcaster. Man, I don't. I had to file as a toucher this year and a lover. I'm trying to get a 1069 form you know what i'm saying baby yeah 1069 w2 i need w dudes w dudes form for fucking yeah two in a sense for how many loads i can bust every day if i want to normal maybe like not outlandish it's not crazy i mean yeah as long as it's not like two
Starting point is 00:39:29 days in a row yeah yeah w w like two ropes maybe if w two inches yeah yeah if i get out of the I'm going to take his two, which is wide. Everybody in the room is like, hmm. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. We should go see the accountant. It's like, okay, did you guys bring your W2s? I mean, I'm kind of soft right now, but I can maybe get it going.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Excuse me? It's probably cruising at a half right now now it's cold in here man i could probably fluff it up to like a w2 wide too you know what i mean now 1099 i'm not gonna be able to do that this is not since it's the steve harvey podcast man yeah 10 inches 99 hard that's hard to get to 10 inches 99 inches wide it's like it's like a fucking like a pipe 10 millimeters 99 decibels
Starting point is 00:40:33 it's like the sound of a fucking 12 gauge it's like the size of two grains of rice lined up yeah I have a really small dick but just like telling a girl
Starting point is 00:40:44 hey listen it's super small but it's super loud it's like of two grains of rice lined up. Yeah, I have a really small dick, but just like telling a girl, hey, listen, it's super small, but it's super loud. It's like... Not just protection, but like ear protection. You feel me? She's like, did you bring protection?
Starting point is 00:40:57 You just put on like the fucking earmuffs that like fighter jets wear. Big fucking helmets. You put that on, a woman knows you mean business i feel like girl i got a dick like a cane toad wide and loud it should leave residue this is everywhere it's got kind of a layer of slime on it hangs out in a lot of peat bogs
Starting point is 00:41:20 10 millimeters 99 decibels loud it okay look if your penis could make a sound what would yours make cough not a heavy one either just kind of like a dry like it like the kind of cough that anybody could produce yeah there's like a... Yeah, alright. Yeah, I get that. What about you? That or a snarl. Like a... Yeah, like a coyote, but it's hurt.
Starting point is 00:41:58 Like a fucking... Yeah. That would be cool. In the same way that length is the thing. That would be cool Like if Like in the same way That like you know Length is like the thing You know everybody's like
Starting point is 00:42:09 Ah big dick Whatever If it was instead of the length It was the It was the type of sound That it produced And you had to get lucky It was like a genetic accident
Starting point is 00:42:17 Just get a cry for help Or just No a literal like Man Help Every time you took your Fucking Took your dick out the piz Or just, no, a literal, like, man, help! Every time you took your fucking, took your dick out of the piz.
Starting point is 00:42:30 I think mine would sound like the American emergency broadcast system. I would have been, What if every time you took your dick out of your pants, Lowrider started playing? Yeah, that'd be pretty sick. I could go with that. Yeah, that's not too bad. The intro, you take your dick out and it's the intro riff to For Whom the Bell Tolls.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Yeah, it's Chris Benoit's walkout music. The stone cold glass shattering. Yeah, probably emergency broadcast system. The stone cold glass shattering. Yeah. Yeah, probably emergency broadcast system or maybe like. Maybe like a soft hooting of a barn owl. This is kind of like zip. That'd be nice. Something soothing, I would imagine.
Starting point is 00:43:23 Or just like. Mine would be the sound of a different guy coming to throw people off. Like a Chinese guy coming. What is that? I don't fucking know. No, it would be another white guy because I'm not racist. Look, it's a genetic accident. Like having a small dick or a huge dick or another.
Starting point is 00:43:43 You can't control what your dick says. I like that both of us imagine different races coming way differently. Black guy comes, oh, yeah. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Like you mentioned, they do it. Like you're making normal fuck sounds, but when you come, it's just like you stop doing the other shit and you're like, oh, deadpan all right I'll buy that okay Mexican guy like he does like a good eat though like a you know like one of those like like
Starting point is 00:44:15 the beginning of a fucking narco-corito song yeah that type of shit all right we got that those are the there's three more races other than black and mexican there's we got white guy what's nice or like a oh i just i just fucking oh gosh i busted that was betsy that was incredible that was one of the coolest things i've ever i love you i love just just i love you i love you oh my god i love you, oh my God. I love you, oh my God. I love you. All right, well, we got white guy out of the way. It goes to Mexican guy. Okay, thank you.
Starting point is 00:45:15 I thought he was the Greek guy. I thought he was the Irish. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you is just a blowjob. Okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah, just getting your dick sucked. Okay. Thank you. All right, buddy. Thank you. dick sucked Okay Thank you Alright buddy
Starting point is 00:45:27 Thank you goodnight Thank you sorry Sorry Lo siento que Thank you bye bye Okay very good Alright we got Black guy
Starting point is 00:45:36 Oh yeah we got Fucking Mexican guy Yeah or just Or just Alright Playing it cool Alright then Classic Alright cool I'll see you I'ma fuck with you
Starting point is 00:45:49 Alright I'm rocking with you right now Yeah I'll fuck with you I'll see you on the flip When an Asian guy busts It's the Windows startup sound Or like the fucking... Or the Apple, like the default... I don't even want you
Starting point is 00:46:13 saying that it would sound like a gong. That's not okay to say. No, that's mohamed fruit. That's not okay to say. Arabic guy, it's the default Apple iPhone alarm. Nah, I mean, maybe something else. Maybe like the sound of a fucking...
Starting point is 00:46:32 This is the sound of a sword being unsheathed. Sound of a BMW starting up. Not like a sports package. Yeah, I'll take that. What else type of guys are there? Irish guy coming. I think that just falls under white guy. Yeah, probably.
Starting point is 00:46:54 I love you. We got to grow up, man. Native American guy coming. This is very good stuff. I thoroughly enjoyed that. It's just white guy, but just a little bit more articulated. Yeah, I have had an orgasm. I have came.
Starting point is 00:47:21 I have to go. I enjoyed ejaculating into you. I must now leave. My Uber is here. I called an Uber nine minutes ago and timed it to where I would be able to go back to the reservation where I live. What would your Native American name be, you think?
Starting point is 00:47:40 I don't know that I would... I think it like I think it would be very environmental I don't think I would do anything to earn a special name like eating sugar like a pancake boy
Starting point is 00:47:57 something very feeble yeah like your brother's names are all like fights with wolf and like like river with wolf and like river, jumping river. And your dad's name is like, you know, Eagle Talon. And you, my son, my oldest boy, the heir to all of the land that we've worked for, you will be Pancake Man. Pancake Boy. My fattest boy. My fattest boy.
Starting point is 00:48:27 My fattest, most special boy. Heir to the tribe. You will gather with the women. You will collect berries. Try not to eat them all. Your breasts look like that of a woman's, and so you will be Pancake Boy. You have eaten so many Sour Patch Kids,
Starting point is 00:48:44 you can lactate. Bizarre to think of because this is 1010 A.D. along the North Texas plains. So Sour Patch Kids haven't been invented yet, so it's surprising that you have them. But anyway, Pancake Boy, thank you for gathering them. I don't know that they had pancakes at the time either. Yeah, I would imagine Native Americans didn't have know that they had pancakes at the time either. Yeah, I don't think, I would imagine Native Americans didn't have pancakes. They probably didn't speak English either,
Starting point is 00:49:09 last I checked. Yeah, they probably all didn't have gimmick names too, like running on water and stuff. I think they... No, I think that's like kind of true, isn't it? Or am I just... I think it was just certain, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:49:22 I thought it was certain tribes, but I don't know I thought it was certain tribes but I don't I don't know enough Yeah, me neither I've seen all the movies I don't want to misrepresent the beautiful native people Yeah, we wouldn't want to
Starting point is 00:49:35 misrepresent types of people on this show by any means Right And I also want to say black guys don't all go oh yeah whenever they bust
Starting point is 00:49:44 It's probably not true either. I haven't. Yeah. I wouldn't know as well as Jake would. But anyway. I'm so sick and tired of the accusations, to be completely honest. Yeah. Anyway, we got another great weekend ahead of us.
Starting point is 00:50:01 You got anything planned, Jake? I'm taking the train to see your ass, motherfucker. Oh, fuck. Yeah. I guess I'm taking the train to see your ass, motherfucker. Oh, fuck. I guess I'm cleaning the room that you're staying in. You guys always, like, I really appreciate the view of you and Eden for doing all that, but you know you have, like, 40 potted plants
Starting point is 00:50:16 in here right now, so I need to figure out how to You guys don't gotta do that for me, man. I sleep in jeans when I'm at your place. It's fine. Right, you do. I don't brush my teeth. Like, I don't do anything. I just fucking hang out. You brushed your teeth last time, I sleep in jeans when I'm at your place. It's fine. Right, you do. I don't brush my teeth. Like, I don't do anything. I just fucking hang out. You brushed your teeth last time, I think. It's very funny.
Starting point is 00:50:30 I think, like, the second or third time I stayed there, Eden was like, there's a toothbrush in there for you. And I was like, sick. Like, it's there. You've brushed your teeth once or twice ever staying over. Yeah, yeah. Which is pretty impressive. Well, dude, like, when I'm...
Starting point is 00:50:44 I mean, I've skipped it before, too, but... Yeah, yeah. Which is pretty impressive. Well, dude, like when I'm... I mean, I've skipped it before, too, but... Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I just... Whenever I'm hanging out at your place, it's kind of like a little vacation. And I don't, like, take care of myself when I'm, like... When I go on vacation. I respect it.
Starting point is 00:50:57 I don't, like... I sleep in my jeans, in my shoes. I sleep, like, a couple hours a night. I don't brush my teeth. I don't really shower. Kind of just become like, y'all are just basically like, you adopted like a really troubled, like shitty 30-year-old man just for like 24 hours.
Starting point is 00:51:18 I'm not 30 yet. I'm 29. I'm aging myself. 29-year-old Jit. 29-year-old Jit that likes to smoke is Benjamin, dude. I fucking love hitting blinkers on my Benjamin, dude, because I'm a fucking 29-year-old Jit who don't play about that life. I might be the youngest 24-year-old Jit in the game right now.
Starting point is 00:51:38 I might be the youngest 29-year-old Jit smoking Benjamin and hitting blinkers with my boys. Yo, that's fab. Yeahers with my boys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fab. Yeah. That's fucking. Yeah. Do you think how I guess
Starting point is 00:51:51 it doesn't matter. I the Benjamin thing is a joke obviously but I did hear I overheard a guy at a show I played recently who I know is older than me who was like I think he's like in his early mid-30s.
Starting point is 00:52:07 He was like, damn, didn't charge the Benjamin before I left. Benjamin, to me, I missed out on that word. I don't feel like I should say that. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not sure. I mean, people can talk and say whatever the fuck they want. But, like, Benjamin is like a, that's like 15 to like 22, I guess. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:52:28 I don't I don't care about like like whenever I use words are new. It's just funny to me sometimes. So I use them and then it doesn't like. Yeah, like swag. Like those that's not new. But like, yeah, like like like Like Like yeah I'm cunty Yeah I like to say shit wrong Like I say stuff like that
Starting point is 00:52:51 Like I'm serving pussy That's funny to me to say Like I'm serving Oh my god she just She just served up mother cunt At the Fucking pussy awards
Starting point is 00:53:02 She served mother at the fucking At the She ate mother at the fucking pussy awards she served mother at the fucking at the she ate mother at the fucking serving pussies oh my god taylor swift put her whole pussy into the fucking chief's game this weekend she ate there wasn't a crumb left on that plate travis kelsey ate taylor swift's pussy and you didn't leave any crumbs hanging out just trying to fit in like like one of those bars for college kids you know he's like it's just like a fucking it's called like shooters or whatever the fuck yeah i'm fucking taylor swift travis kelsey ate taylor's was butt and didn't leave a fucking crumb on the
Starting point is 00:53:38 plate and he fucking mothered her dude like a baby bird yeah i wish taylor swift mothered her, dude, like a baby bird. Yeah, I wish Taylor Swift mothered me and my friends. They're like, yeah, dude, for sure, man, yeah. Anyway, so like, yeah, it was this crazy party tonight. But we need to get away from this guy. I don't want to do it. Yeah, Taylor Swift just fingered herself in her mother cut and I fell out of there. When she did, she gave birth to me.
Starting point is 00:54:06 Yeah, man, that's crazy yeah do you do you go to do you go to UNT yeah I go to see UNT university and I serve it every day those are oh my gosh you girls are probably so warm in your big jackets right now warm in your big jackets right now hey man like yeah i'm 16 i don't know how they let me in here they're pretty they're pretty warm man yeah i mean i just i'm just trying to make sure like this is like a private event for the fraternity like i don't oh i'm private all right you don't need to know shit about me oh man i feel like it's kind of the whole point you know like we kind of this is like for the brothers this is alpha zeta figma it's for the brothers it's not listen it's not especially not them it's not for them it's not for them at all i need you to understand the fraternity is not for them i also need you to understand that if you're not a part of the group man like you
Starting point is 00:55:02 can't hang out with us and you stop saying weird stuff man i don't understand why you're not a part of the group, man, like, you can't hang out with us. And you need to stop saying weird stuff, man. I don't understand why you're talking like that. Yeah. You're probably so warm in your socks and your shoes. I bet they smell good, too. I mean, it's warm in the bar. I, you know... Hey, are you playing with something? Do you have something in your hand?
Starting point is 00:55:25 No, not in my hand. It looks like... Other than metal rods. Okay, yeah. I think I just need you to go, dude. I think I just need you to go. Yeah, I had a bone surgery. They had to put all my dunking fingers back in.
Starting point is 00:55:41 It's cool that you can dunk. Because I hung up and I tried to hang on the rim And then I fell off and my hand stayed up there On my hand bones Wow that's so cool I just I don't think that you Just let him stay
Starting point is 00:55:58 Let him stay he's funny He's interesting Yeah I should have dunked with my dick And I would have left my dick bone up there And then I would have gone back up and sucked it. He's so funny. He's, like, so, like, quirky. Like, he's just, like, not.
Starting point is 00:56:10 I don't know. You guys are being, like, so boring. Just let him hang out with us. He's cool. Like, he's fun. Yeah, I know all you girls feel awesome in your jackets, and you probably get so warm in your pants on, too. Probably got warm pants.
Starting point is 00:56:22 And I bet you can all dunk. Yeah, I mean, like, I tried to dunk. I played, like, JV basketball. But I am pretty warm right now. You ever play trampoline? I mean, not since I was a little girl. But, you know, I like to. Oh, are you big now?
Starting point is 00:56:40 Are you grown? Yeah, I mean mean I'm 20 Yeah I'm grown You know I like I like you know Bouncing You know bouncing's fun
Starting point is 00:56:51 Yeah you like bouncing I like bouncing too I bounce whenever I dunk And it makes me feel Kind of like a Like a grown up What I mean Like a 25 year old grown up
Starting point is 00:57:02 How old are you? Like 15. You're so mature for your age. Yeah, people say that all the time because I got crow's nests around my eyes and a receding hairline, and I got psoriasis. Wow, you struggle with so much. Yeah. You've like overcome so much and you can don't do it. Yeah, and I got periodontist
Starting point is 00:57:30 from chewing tobacco. Honestly, this dude's like starting to weird me out. Like, we gotta fucking we gotta fucking get out of here. He's gotta go. Yeah, let's all hit the motherfucking beach. Denton Beach, let's got to go. Yeah, let's all hit the motherfucking beach. Denton Beach, let's go. I mean, is there a beach around here?
Starting point is 00:57:52 Honestly, I could go for a beach trip. Yeah. Like a late night beach trip. There's no beach around here. He's weird. He's trying to, like, take you or something. Yeah, I'm trying to take you to the fucking beach. Denton Beach,
Starting point is 00:58:06 here we come. Denton, Texas, North Beach. That North Texas beach, baby. You know how them waves be hitting. Let's go to B-U-N-T. Beach University of North Texas. Yeah, I go to B-U-N-T. I go to Beach University of North Texas.
Starting point is 00:58:22 I study beach. I study fucking umbrella. I study beach. I study fucking umbrella. I study sand. Oh, man. My homie, he just graduated. He got a bachelor's degree in Sandcastle. Yeah, he making good money now. He work at...
Starting point is 00:58:40 He work at Florida. He work at Beach... Beach... Beach Key... Vacation. He work at Florida. He work at Beach Beach Key Vacation. Beach Key Vacation Lockheed Martin. Thank you brother.
Starting point is 00:58:57 I pulled that one out. I got that one from the vault. You didn't have to drop that one. I got Beach Kid Vacation Lockheed. The kid did a lot of heavy lifting on that for me. I'm not going to lie to you, but I did get it. I did get it. Thank you, man.
Starting point is 00:59:15 I like that as a shirt idea. B-U-N-T. It's just Beach University of North Texas. That would be so good with the color. Just have it. Yeah, yeah. That was fun. It's a complete rip-off, and it just says beat.
Starting point is 00:59:27 Have all the majors on the back. Sand. Sand. Volleyball. Wave. Playing. Seagull. Yeah, I graduated from the school of seagull.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Yeah, I studied seagullology. I studied the way they fucking be yapping. I studied a bag of chip on yapping. I studied a bag of chip on the ground. I studied jellyfish. Yeah, I studied glass. Yeah, I studied fucking broken glass. I studied broken glass in my foot. I have to go home.
Starting point is 00:59:56 I studied jellyfish. Ow! Ow! I just got a degree in jellyfish Who gets that Who can relate Who can relate I'm out here doing stand up
Starting point is 01:00:12 At University of North Texas And I study jellyfish Who can relate Beach University of North Texas The real survivors come here So ominous So terrifying The school of people who survive survivors come here. So ominous. So terrifying.
Starting point is 01:00:31 The school of people who survive something so sinister that it changes them forever. How about in the front? All right. B-U-N-T. Beach University of North Texas. In the back. Real survivors come here I don't understand But I'm for it
Starting point is 01:00:50 You know I don't give a fuck Yeah But our color scheme Is gonna be green and white Green and white Okay Real survivors study Seagull here
Starting point is 01:00:59 At Beach University In North Texas Yeah Yeah I'm a professor I'm a professor of I'm like this already. I'm a professor of sand. I got my fucking doctorate in fucking Big Hill. Big digging a hole with my friends.
Starting point is 01:01:13 Almost killing my friend. Yeah, I like this a lot. Yeah. Motherfuckers. Is it the Dean of B-U-N-T, Tony Johnny? Yeah Yeah Motherfuckers B-U-N-T Is it the dean of B-U-N-T Tony Johnny
Starting point is 01:01:28 Yeah Tony Johnny motherfucker I run this fucking place bitch Tony Johnny Yeah Tony Johnny How did you become the dean of B-U-N-T Yeah
Starting point is 01:01:44 All I did was I sent in one of them applications. And them motherfuckers sent the money. I've been making more money off the beach than the motherfucking Sandman. Tony Johnny It seems like last time we spoke You were in dire straits Your wife died You know
Starting point is 01:02:09 Your brother Your brother died And you were at the end of your rope Yeah I love it But now you're the dean of Beach University of North Texas Man I'm so happy You doing good these days Tony?
Starting point is 01:02:20 Yeah I think so My dog just died Oh how'd he die? He got stuck in one of sand dunes it's tough out here at Beach University of North University of North Texas oh buntons that's why real survivors come here get they doing buggies And run over they dog on accident I thought you said he died in a sand dune He did die in a sand dune
Starting point is 01:02:49 He was He died in He died in there And then he was in the sand dune You hit him with the dune buggy He landed in the sand dune Yeah He got killed by the dune
Starting point is 01:03:00 Just like that movie Dune What you been doing? I been doing me Doing you Hey y'all see that movie Dune, just like that movie Dune. What you been doing? I've been doing me, doing you. Hey, y'all see that movie Dune? Yeah, I've been doing me. Yeah. Yeah, I directed Dune. Oh, Tony Johnny, you directed Dune?
Starting point is 01:03:17 I thought that was Dennis Vinovano. Doing my best. I thought that was Dennis Vinovano. Trying to get by. Hold on a second. Tony Johnny, you didn't direct Dune. That was Denis Vinovano. Trying to get by. Hold on a second. Tony Johnny, you didn't direct Dune. That was Denis Vinovano. Yeah, well, it was Denis, but because I was doing this, then this.
Starting point is 01:03:37 So you're doing two. You're doing too much, Tony Johnny. I'm doing too damn much. Yeah. Yeah. Tony Johnny, thank you for coming back on the show. You're always a fucking pleasure to have, my man. If you're listening to this, it's 11 p.m. Central Standard Time.
Starting point is 01:03:55 And my beautiful fiance has made me a shepherd's pie. So I'm going to go eat it. You should go to patreon.com slash pendejo time and you should give us five bucks a month because there's a whole bunch of episodes on there and a whole community
Starting point is 01:04:10 of cool discord guys where you can learn how to lie on your resume and how to do your own breaks and how to read there's some smart people in there
Starting point is 01:04:21 and you get a bonus episode of fucking every week including the free ones, and access to the Discord. Ten bucks a month gets you all that shit, plus video episodes. Me and Thomas are going to go fucking film some shit this weekend. And I'm carless, so I'm taking the Texas Eagle all the way to fucking Fort Worth Station by the goddamn zoo.
Starting point is 01:04:42 And I didn't even know the train ran like that, but we're gonna fucking have a good ass time um and uh we got some some some fucking yeah i don't know i don't got anything to plug you got anything to plug uh no i just wanted to say uh if you're one of the new patrons or if you just recently found the show. Thank you for checking us out. For sure, for sure. Thank you, guys. Oh, I posted. I did post a link, like, maybe an hour ago. So this happens every now and then when we get new subscribers.
Starting point is 01:05:15 But some people get auto-added to the Discord, but some don't. So I do have a link pinned to the Discord on the Patreon feed. So if you listen to this and you want to sub and you don't get out of the discord automatically, it's the first post on there called new subs and you can get access to the discord. Um, yeah, I have,
Starting point is 01:05:38 I am doing standup in February, but I don't think I can plug the show yet. So, um, if you're in Austin, I guess we hang out maybe. All right. Bye.
Starting point is 01:05:47 Bye. Peace. Nice.

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