Pendejo Time - daps

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

for 200 dollars we convince yo wife she crazy and going blind and that her momma adicctred to porno and then you can leave her for being all of those thangs. Support the Show.

get it together man get it together you know get it get it for trevor man we're coming up on a three-year anniversary of this show and you just and i'm about to post oh damn dude i'm yeah bad news for you man i'm taking yeah dude i had the sickest shirt idea 10 seconds yeah i do hear it we do need more shirts taken by bacon and then it has a wedding ring on a piece of bacon and then below that it has a uh dog getting has a pizza surfboarding away just for a randomness okay and what's on the sleeves of this shirt uh okay what's like because it's working we're gonna sell it we're gonna sell it in america

yeah it's because the shipping is okay okay in america we have the cheapest ship that is true it's so it's so cheap we call it domestic it's like it's at our house basically we call it domestic shipping because we can ship something faster than you can hit your wife so you're like the you're the you're the new marketing intern for fedex we need a new tagline man yeah yeah how about uh instead of domestic shipping it's domestic abuse shipping and we throw the package at your wife's head uh no i uh so we don't um i like i like that you're thinking uh but i don't think that we want to go with the domestic abuse joke. Well, I don't want you to think too much that I've been thinking, but I don't think we should do it as a joke.

I think it more of like an offer. Like, you know, Amazon, they get packages there like same day. UPS, you know, they've got brown shorts on. Everybody's got something to offer. You know know USPS makes you a patriot or whatever and that's what the mailman rocks with

so you know you kind of gotta fuck with it what if we did what if we did domestic abuse shipping I feel like like if we had sort of a trebuchet type thing and we would just send packages like through the front of your house into your family.

Or like, it could be like, instead of delivering the package, it could like, whenever you would want to order some shit, it would come out of your girlfriend's bank account. The money would. And then all this shit would get there to the front door.

And it would be girl stuff like makeup or a towel or something or maybe, I don't know. And then you could say, what the fuck is this? Why did you order all this bullshit? Are you stupid? And then your girlfriend could say i don't think i ordered any of this and then say wait i didn't order any of this let's both look at our bank accounts and then you don't open yours because there's porn on there but she opens hers and it shows that a bunch of money is missing out of her account and then you say

what the fuck is your problem you're an abuser and you're a liar now too and you're a liar and you have a shit taste in makeup all these companies test on animals and they only test on cute animals they put all their lipstick in they just they they throw all their makeup into the blowholes of orcas that's so fucked up you're a piece of shit you're a piece of fucking shit i hate you and then you you all start opening up the packages and there's a bunch of dildos and then you and you say what the fuck are these are these winger wingers wieners is this a wiener and then you start dramatically slapping it on your face to show how crazy it is and you're not out on the driveway the whole

neighborhood's watching and they're all pointing and laughing at her because she looks so stupid right now. And then there's another button on the app that takes all the money in your bank account and multiplies it by all the money that it has. And it makes it so much money that you can show her the woman you're, I guess, terrorizing in this situation. You can show her your bank account and say, I just made $150,000. What did you do today? Buy makeup and be a stupid girl? That's what I thought. And this is how.

And then you drive away in your Buick Park Avenue. And you look like a total fucking badass. And that girl in that situation, she's crying like a freaking hoe because she has no clue. And you just bonked her. You just freaking. You just DA. her. You just freaking, you just DA majorly. Thanks to DAPS, Domestic Abuse Postal Service. So I like this idea because it really makes the woman dependent on you.

You know what I mean? Yeah, and also it can be daps. So, yeah, you just got dapped up. Yeah, that's your slogan. Hey, dap me up, playboy. Where are my daps at? Every player needs to get dapped up. Domestic abuse, postal service.

So, like, a guy can come into the store and he's like, dude, you know, my girlfriend, she's just, like, being super bossy lately and she's, like, not listening to me. My girlfriend sucks ass. She don't even buy me snapbacks from Lids. My girlfriend tells me to clean my poop out of the toilet when I don't want to. Yeah. And so, basically, I need the DAPS premium package. And they're like, oh, okay.

So, we're going to do the makeup bit. And then we're going to do all of that. And then we're going to get. So, like, all the green berets that come back from war and they don't have any serviceable like any skills that make them. Basically, we've got a squad of them and they'll come and they'll slash her tires really discreetly. And then they'll start gang. They'll gang start. They'll put capsaicin in her toothpaste and she'll get spicy mouth when she goes to brush her teeth.

And subconsciously, she'll start stop brushing her teeth. Her teeth will fall out. And then you look at her and you'd be like, you an ugly nasty fucking poor hygiene bitch yeah and then she's say lay here she's like i don't know why this is fucking happening to me i don't know what i'm doing wrong and you're like oh there you go with the tears again the fucking water works because you're an emotional fucking leech in my life yeah i fucking can't stand you and then she's like i my time i replaced my tires three times this week and i'm running low you and then she's like hey my time i've replaced my tires three times this week and i'm running low on funds and you're like because you're a broke simply because

you have no money and you have no swag and i need to leave this relationship now and they ship the makeup too and shit like that yeah and they ship the makeup whenever your girlfriend won't sell her mom's wedding ring so you can get an ic machine at the house and you know that bitch is about to be a huge ass bomb in your life what you can do is thanks to daps domestic abuse personal service is we can use her uh her mom's debit card to buy a bunch of porno movies for your crib and then take a bunch of screenshots on it with the daps app we'll call it the dap app or maybe just the we'll call it the pap smear because it's a DAP app that you use to smear people. Say, yo, I just caught something big on the pap smear. And then, so you'll do some flush in on the pap smear like that.

And then it'll send a bunch of screenshots to your email, which you can forward to your girlfriend's email. And you know how girlfriends be checking email all the fucking time? Dude, every day so then like you said to her email and then like two weeks later she sees it and then she sees that shit but it's from a mom yeah yeah email because she don't know your email address she don't know it's dark striker dark striker boobies at gmail.com and then she sees a bunch of other emails you sent her stuff like I miss you I'm at the store and I miss you

and here's a picture of my feet and then it's a picture of your feet on the gas station yeah yeah it's a piss on it spreading your toes like ET there's poop in between the webbing of your toe yeah and she sees her mom that her mom it. Spreading your toes like E.T. There's poop in between the webbing of your toe. Yeah.

And she sees her mom that her mom bought all that porno and she goes, my mom's a porno freak. And she calls her mom and she says, you're a dumb porno freak mom. And you're probably jacking off your boobs to some fucking porn bull crap. And

then her mom's gonna say, homie, you own some other shit. i never fucking bought no freak ass porn shit for the fucking did you see that shit on your fucking email was it dark striker boobies at gmail that sent you that bullshit and she's gonna say yeah he's a reputable source he was on cnn yes and and then she's gonna say nah that's your homie the homie that'll be

piping you down do you mean my boyfriend she says yeah my boyfriend she says yeah that one homie that always pipes you down in the relationship

cause that's how her mom talks and then then to punish her mom you guys all have to watch the freaky ass ghetto pornos together and it pretty much ruins not only your relationship with your girlfriend but the one that she had with her mom um you know you're all just sitting on completely different pieces of furniture. Watching porno together.

Yeah, I mean, not a single one of you moved by any means, but that type of shit just takes years to heal. Yeah, it's really what the service is. We do, you know, there's just the daps, basically. You know, we'll throw a package at your wife, but as you move as you move up it becomes psychological warfare and torture to somebody that you don't want to be with anymore like if you you know what i mean like if you have a girlfriend and she's like making you go on hikes

and she wants you to go to like uh she wants you to go to like get pedicures and stuff and and you you you can't stop like cheating on her with the trailer park uh lady that used to babysit you when you were five years old then you know basically what we do is we uh provide services to where she goes insane over short periods of time and then you get to leave her because her mental her personality is fragmented to the point where she doesn't know reality yeah yeah yeah i used i used the uh daps app or pap smear as most people call it when my last girlfriend um was being a huge bitch about like getting me soft pretzels at target and shit like being super stingy with all that so basically like what i did was like i gave her silver nitrate over the course

of like six years and her skin slowly turned blue and as she didn't notice at first because i'd been giving her cataracts in her sleep i've'd been using rhino tranquilizers on her, and then I'd been opening up her eyes. So you got the Dabbs Platinum package. I had her, so I'd put a burka on her in her sleep, and then tranquilize her, and then I'd put her in a tanning bed for six hours with her eyes open. And she'd wake up, and she'd go,

God damn, that sun is soft as fuck today and i'd say yeah it's dark as hell in here isn't it and eventually she did go blind so she didn't know that she was silver but one day i put a cat uh for her um 50 50 tooth birthday i actually bought her lasASIK surgery and as soon as she woke up from the surgery I showed her a mirror I said you're blue dumbass

and I believe in you you're blue as fuck and she said you're blue as fuck you turned blue during the surgery and your pussy's blue too and it looks stupid

as fuck yeah I'm not it looks like it looks like a goddamn bird I'm not gonna walk around my hometown with a blue bitch. You think I'm a fucking fool? Damn, when the fuck did you turn blue during the surgery?

That was stupid as fuck. Do you think I'm a fool? Do you take me for a foolish man? Do you take me for a blue fucker? Yeah, do you take me for a guy who wants to fuck a light blue type of bitch? Wrong. Wrong. Yeah.

Earth to blue bitch. You blue as fuck and I of bitch. Wrong. Wrong. Earth to blue, bitch. You blue as fuck, and I'm out. And you blew it. Bye. And then... Yeah. Apparently, they say you only turn blue during LASIK surgery if you got trash pussy. I don't know if that's true or not.

But I feel like it is, because you do. And you're stupid. And I don't know why I'm blue, and I can't see see and i'm blind and i just need a friend right now well yeah you need a friend a freaking yeah yeah you want a friend go search on pandora you blue bitch okay oh you think i'm a damn avatar type motherfucker listen what you try you think i'm a mate withurf? You think I'm an avatar type motherfucker? Listen. What you trying... You think I'm a mate with your tail pussy? No, I need me a normal white bitch.

I need a white girl. I need me a white girl. I need a white woman. Because I'm tired of you blue ass bitch. You blue ass bitch. I wish you were white. Yeah, you know, so here's the thing. A lot of people have left us Google reviews saying, why can't you just break up with somebody that you don't like anymore?

And that is so 2022. Yeah. Yeah, like I got anxiety. I got OCD. I got trauma. And so I got so much trauma that I'm non-confrontational. Yeah, this is my experience my body in my space and you don't have any right to tell me that my lived experience is invalid so basically

what i do is i get into twenty two thousand dollars of credit card debt to pay daps to psychologically torture uh my girlfriend so i can move to thailand yeah, yeah. And also, DAPS also sends for dope-ass PSA. Which is something. On the DAPS app, I order a blowjob every 30 minutes just to see if it comes. And it does it with time. And I get that sweet licking done on me, basically, every 30 minutes.

Yeah. And they send this. They only got one delivery truck. Right, right, right. And it's a little dude named Fernando. He's a 4'10 Filipino man. He rides over to your house on a bike, and he has to do it every time you hit the button. It's only $10 to hit the button.

And he rides, he lives 100 miles away, and he'll bike home in like two minutes. And so I make him ride to my house. I make him ride to my house every 10 minutes. And so he spends, he goes to my house like 600 times a day and sucks my dick in the legs. And then goes home, and he don't get any of the money. He gets a dollar an hour from DAPS. goes home and he don't get any of the money.

He gets a dollar an hour from Daps. He got to sleep in his uniform because his alarm his penis alarm wakes him up to come to my house and set me off again. Every two seconds. He hasn't had time to shave in a year. Yeah, he's a four foot

ten Filipino man named Fernando Rosas. Yeah, the worst day of my life was last Christmas because he took 20 minutes off to see his family. Yeah, he took 20 minutes off to see his 15 kids and his wife that looks like a manatee

and like a Tweety Bird Moo Moo. But yeah, you know, me and Fernando, we've got a strong working relationship um and he likes what he does you know hey look if it wasn't for daps he would be he wouldn't make a dollar an hour uh sucking penis uh as a bike a bike messenger who also gives blow jobs you know so they should you know they should make uh we should do Shark Tank. You know what I mean? But like white trash Shark Tank.

I think my new idea, you know those drive-thru places? Of course. And marita places? You should be able to get a gun there. Okay. For a hundred bucks, you can get a gun with the serial numbers taken off of it. get a gun with the serial numbers taken off of it and if you get they should have like a like a scratcher thing where it's like if you if you buy a frozen margarita on 10 separate days and you fill out the card you get it gone uh you know jt the guy comedian dude yeah yeah yeah yeah he sent me this was like several years

back but he was in west texas i forget some podunk town outside i forget where he was at i have to ask him but he posted on twitter and i asked him about it but he was he passed by the suit store and they were running this deal and he like went to make sure it was real, but it was a tweed suit with the elbow patches fitted to you for $1,000. You get that, and then you get a nickel-plated 1911 pistol. It was a gun store, suit store next to each other, and if you bought the suit, and they custom-made suit, a tweed suit,

like the European philosophy professor suit, and you go over there, and you show them your ticket and say, I got the $1,000 suit. They would give you a nickel plated 1911. That's so badass. That is such a sick fucking deal. Here's the thing. I know that 1911s aren't cheap. And I know the suit probably was, it's a tweed suit.

I know the guy's just like trying to sell these pistols but i was like dude if i can go into one store wearing a t-shirt like a big dog t-shirt with like queso stains on it and like my short shorts and my converse and i can walk out of that store with a fitted tweed suit to me slacks fucking fitted to my ass cheeks and my legs fucking nice button-up shirt nice tie tweed sport coat and then i can walk next door and get a 45 caliber handgun nickel plated dude i'm not i mean that there's no other better way to spend a morning is to go get a fucking a badass suit and then get a pistol what do you do i guess my question is where do you go from there like what's your next errand church like i i think that's something you do on the way to

leave your family yeah like like on the way to leave them forever or go back home and like do the worst thing that you you could do no like you're heading out forever and you just have could do no like you're heading out forever and you just have your you you hauled ass and you realize oh i only have yeah yeah oh that's true let's get this yeah let's let's get this stuff get get back in the uh the fort pinto and we'll it's like a john wick like when john wick goes to the bar and it's not really a bar it's like an armory and he's like i'll have the manhattan and the british guy's like a manhattan sir and then just gives really a bar. It's like an armory. And he's like, I'll have the Manhattan. And the British guy's like, hmm, a Manhattan, sir. And then just gives him a machine gun. It's cool to know that there's a place like that in Texas

that exists somewhere west of Odessa, I think, which makes sense. I don't think you would find something like that anywhere else. Maybe the panhandle. Yeah, there's a suit store in Brooklyn, and you can get a fitted suit, and it comes with a free pronoun. Man. Yeah. Yeah, how about that, Jake?

I thought you were going to say, like, crack, or like, you know, like an OE or like a Newport cigarette. We have a little fun around here. Yeah, we get a little edgy on this show. You know what I mean? Yeah, it comes with a free damn... A free side of... Yeah, it comes with gender. A free side of gender and a free side of equality.

Would you like to try out our new They, Them blazer? I think, you know, what's funny is if you could find a way to make clothes for that crowd in New York. Like, a They, Them blazer, there's no way that that's not already a thing That like people You know what I mean? That's probably real I mean Rachel Maddow Yeah who's that Jenny Hardeen

That white bitch from Twitter That was like Yo Hillary gangsta check Trump And then some rapper replied And was like what are you talking about and she was like what set are you from to him did you see that yeah yeah yeah yeah anyway I hate her I hope her house blows up um I don't know she had me she um I mean this isn't good podcasting but I don't actually I saw screenshots of that but I've she been blocked by her forever. Same, same, same. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's okay. I know people are always curious, you know, fascinated. Wow. This journalist from 2010 has you blocked, Tom? Well, it's an interesting person to be. Crazier things can happen. I don't know. I don't know who she is.

Well, it doesn't matter. She seems like an odd duck. I want to know who she is. Well, it doesn't matter. She seems like an odd duck. Anyway, yeah, so you... You know, I feel like Hannah Gadsby probably has... Hannah Gadsby. Oh, Nanette. Nanette was merely

the name of their special, I'll have you know. Hannah Gadsby is the greatest comic of this generation by far. I would say my favorite... What's your favorite joke? I would like for you to tell your favorite Hannah Gadsby joke right now. Your favorite bit. My favorite Hannah Gadsby joke.

So... favorite bit my favorite hand gas beat joke so these 15 guys walk into a bar one of them is named john okay and he's a white guy one of them is named One of them is named Jorge, and he is Guatemalan. One of them is named Mark, and he is African-American. Okay, that's a classic African-American name, Mark. Stranger things have happened. One is named Anthony. His mother is Dominican and his father is white.

He's biracial. No, he's Anthony. He's three-quarters white. Okay, fine. So it rounds up to Anthony. Okay. The fifth one is named um it's actually not 15 guys it's 15 people i meant to say i i don't i think i got the idea of what the fifth is named Libya. And she is she is a white woman

in Libya. It's short for Libya Zabith. And I'll just skip to the end of the joke. The 13th one is named Martini. Martini. the 13th one is named mart martini and he is french the he's a french okay man the 14th He is a Muslim man. Okay.

And he is actually originally from Kansas. And the 15th is a puppy dog named Jumpy. And everybody loves Jumpy, and he jumps up and licks their faces. Okay. Okay. and he jumps up and licks their faces. Okay. And the bartender says,

Sorry, you can't bring a dog into here. Is that the whole joke? That's the joke, right? Oh, okay. I don't think I remember that Hannah Gadsby joke, but I appreciate you telling that to me. Yeah, because, I mean, why the hell would 14 people bring one dog to a bar? I don't know, man.

You know? That's a joke. That's really... That's too many... That's really high-level comedy. I guess I... You gotta get more... You gotta get more dogs

if you've got a 14-person entourage. Or just get the hell... Get that fucking dog out of there, You've got to get more dogs if you've got a 14-person entourage. Or just get that fucking dog out of there. Because then you're going to trade. I'm imagining you doing this bit and then the explanation of that joke at an open mic with a bomb vest on. And it's like beeping. And people are trying to leave. And every time they do, you fire a gun into the ceiling.

And you're like, they need more owners. They need more owners for Jumpy. You need more than one Jumpy. And people are crying and shit in the bar. And they want you to stop. But you're not going to. Because you're like, everything's. Do you want to hear my second favorite? Everything.

Here's the thing about that. Is that everything in comedy has been done and what i really like about your style of comedy is that you add a level of danger to it yeah and there's one thing that we can appreciate as fans of comedy i'm gonna i'm a very accomplished stand-up comedian i've been doing open mics for like 10 years uh is is that uh is is that comedy is a disgusting, degrading art form that should not be respected or revered in any way. And so to make it respected, we've got to add a little bit of violence and danger to it.

And so I loved it when you went up at Joe Rogan's club last week and you had the wrist knives from Assassin's Creed and anytime anybody tried to come on and do their set, you would do the backflip stab to them and then their heads would explode in blood. Yeah, I told my

classic joke. Two fat guys walk into a child's ass and it blows up. It's just like, you're on Kill Tony, and you have one minute. And I spend three seconds. You're like, all right, guys, I really did try to type my setup. They're like, all right, man, well, time's ticking.

So you better get to fucking tell a joke. You're like, all right, two, well, time's ticking. You know, so you better get to fucking... You're like, all right, two really fat gay guys walk into a boy's ass and he dies. They're not gay. They just walk in their back. Okay, how about this?

Let's work on our Kill Tony sets. You have one minute. Let's hear it, dude. Two guys... Two... There's two guys walking there's two guys walking into a glasses there's two guys walking into an optometrist the optometrist

looks at both of them and he says we're gonna need a bigger glasses Yeah, that's good. That's pretty good. Because for both of them to wear a pretty big set of glasses. Yeah, I know. I get it, man. At least a couple feet apart.

That's solid. I think you're going to do well. Yeah. Because, you know, like, Rogan judges it, and Tom Segura judges it. Yeah, I think it would be very... But you can't let them know.

You have to be very insistent. You're like, I spent so long on this joke, guys. Dude, to get a clip of that would be so funny. Just Joey Diaz being like, who the fuck? Which one of you cocksuckers let this guy in the fucking... Don't quit your day job. I met a guy like you in a fucking bathhouse in 1988. Fucked him raw.

Yeah, you know, the thing about stand-up, and the thing that you and me understand so well about the art is that there's always, you have to, it's the surprise. You know, it's the unexpected. And, man, if two guys walk into an eye doctor, the doctor's like, we're going to need bigger glasses, you know? We're going to need a bigger glasses. Oh, see, that's the second part of it is that it's.

Yeah, we're going to need a bigger glasses. It's like a Jaws reference, you know? We're going to need a bigger Jaws or something like that. We're going to need a bigger dick to fuck this show. Who was the main, what was his name? It was not Dreyfuss. What was the main fucking actor's name in that movie? Dennis Reynolds or whatever.

Not Dennis Reynolds. That's the guy from It's Always Sunny. Yeah, Dennis Hopper. I don't know. Yeah, Dennis Fucker, the guy that was in the movie. I don't know Dennis Fucker Dennis Hopper was the guy who was in

Hot Wheels Now Dennis I think it's Dennis you guys are all sitting around the writers room his name is penis fucker no wait you know it was like Roy Scheider or something

you're in the writers room of Jaws and you're like well when we find it was Roy Scheider no Roy Scheider was the main guy in Jaws it's almost

he's almost Rob Schneider but not quite Did I ever tell you my granddad made up a story about working for this guy's brother? Yes, I think you did Some fucking stupid It was like, yeah, it was Frank The guy didn't even have a brother My dad used to

Anyway I feel like I Like you used to be... I feel like... The cool part about being a dad, or really a grandfather, I feel like as a grandpa, you have even more sage wisdom than your son, who is the father of the boy. Obviously, that's how granddads work. Hopefully, yeah. Hopefully.

So you... If your son your son the dad is like don't listen to grandpa's stories he's making stuff up dude i trusted my grandpa anything i was like yep my grandfather um was pretty good at chess and uh he was a weird combination i don't know how he ended up like this my granddad was like he hated george bush but also didn't like muslims he was like a bill maher guy this was my this is my mom's dad like we would get into arguments about like the quran and stuff but it was weird because everybody else in my family was like not they didn't even they didn't know anything. And he was like, I guess my granddad was like a pretty smart guy in terms like he read stuff. But he would be like, yeah, George, you know, George Bush was like a war, like a like a like an idiot, like a criminal.

I'm like, yeah. He's like, but, you know, the stuff he did over there, like those people had to go. And I was like, oh, well oh well all right grandpa i i guess so you know i don't agree with you on that but it's a weird thing to be as a old man from the south is to have the politics of like a smug yeah 2006 atheist which is what he kind of was i guess in a way um yeah what can you fucking do man you know you can't harbor too much resentment you know people are who they are and they

become that way for a reason and you know Grampy's lived experience was different from yours dude I can't wait to have a kid and be like well how's your lived experience going I can't wait to have a kid. I'm just going to.

Yeah, I can see you doing that. You guys. I'm just kidding. I wouldn't do that. I would be the best. You text me like, hey, man, do you want a kid? Like at all? I'm like, no, I've never wanted any.

Yeah, I'm just trying to get inside. You text me like, hey, how's it been, man? I'm like, oh, it's good. You know, it's like we got the house, you know know like y'all still coming to the barbecue oh absolutely i just have a question for you before we do that um i'm looking at like downsides like oh you you're gonna get rid of the that coffee table you don't always like that oak coffee table you made like no i'm keeping the coffee table are you gonna get rid of the c10 i'll take it off your hands you know now i finally got the transmission in? I'll take it off your hands.

No, I finally got the transmission in it two years ago. It took me 30 years. Like, well, what are you getting rid of, man? I'll take it off your hands. You know that son I have? That four or four and a half year old son? Yeah, I just don't like him. He's not funny.

I just got too much shit. Yeah, you know, when you have a son, you hope that he's cool in some way or good at something. He just don't do nothing. He don't even play on the iPad. He just kind of like... He can barely roll his right out. Dude, my son sucks at cutting up coke, dude.

He's just not good at it. He can't break it down for fuck. He doesn't know how to do the microwave plate trick at all. He can't break it down for fuck he doesn't know how to do the microwave plate trick at all he can't break it down under a dollar bill it's and every time i do coke with my four-year-old son i get rocks in my nose i get nosebleeds for days so if you want a loser-ass son who does not know how to do hard drugs i'll sell them to you on the low low i'm talking fucking 20 bucks yeah if I had a son I would probably put a microchip

in him and use him for gold how would that work could you break that down for me I would take him to a vet and get a microchip put into him and then I would program things into him to make him a complete man.

Made in my image as a baby. And I would imprint the books I'd read into him, including the ones about going out and being a 49er, panning for gold and making it big, rich, out in California. I wouldn't go with him. I'd make him walk. Actually, I'd probably fly him on front of the Air Spirit.

Out to California. Get him set up in a motel. It'd be very funny to take a family vacation and you and your wife you fly first class on like Delta or American Airlines and then you put your son, like your 8 year old son alone on like Delta or American Airlines. And then you put your son, like your eight-year-old son alone on like a Spirit flight. Yeah, he's got like four layovers.

You and Eden are like, you guys got like the first row, first class American Airlines. You got the big TV. You got like the bed chair that leans back. You're getting like fucking top flight airline food, like the best of the best. You get Dom Perignon champagne. And your son just getting like he has to pay $15 for a bag of peanuts on a spirit flight. And people are like throwing shit up the aisle and stuff. Like, all right, look, son, so we're going to get two weeks in Paris.

You're going to get about five, six days because of the layovers. But, you know, the budget just didn't call for, you know, first class ticket for you. Daddy's really sorry. We really had to tighten it up. I'm spending a bunch of money on colloidal silver to turn your mom blue. I got this thing. I got the pap smear app. I don't know if you've heard about that, but I'm trying to cycle.

Yeah, I would get my son a pap smear if he needed it. Did you ever read about the T.I.? Yeah, the thing he did with his daughter. Yeah, yeah. He sat in on her doctor's visit to make sure she had dead sex. What a cool and chill thing to do as a guy. I mean, I would have done the same thing for T.I.'s daughter. I think any guy would have.

I think it's a matter of not being creepy and knowing that having them know that you're not weird and you're normal. Did you see the video I sent you on Instagram? I know that you gave me the lowdown on Karl Malone, but I didn't know that he tried to fuck Kobe Bryant's wife when she denied him and then told Kobe, and Kobe confronted him about it, and he admitted it, and then he didn't apologize. He just offered to fight Kobe Bryant. He was like, yeah, I tried to dick your wife down.

I'm not sorry about it, but if you want to throw some hands about it, we can. down. I'm not sorry about it, but if you want to throw some hands about it, we can. And not a role model for anybody. You shouldn't want to be like Carl Malone, but that's a funny... Well, just think of

all the lives you could have saved. All the, you know... People talk about... Think of all of all the 19 year old waitresses who could have been spared if he just fucked kobe's wife and stolen her kobe had lost his confidence he wouldn't have peed on that fucking that lady yeah or you know alternatively you know it is it is funny that Carl Malone impregnated a 12 year old um

now that um not I was about to say but it's it's it's funny

that a guy did the worst thing a man could do no no because he did it when he was in college oh that's fine then and

the the the family no the family was like yeah that's fucking carl malone we can't we can't press charges against him and he wasn't like a big name yet it was like if like a he was a college prospect yeah they were like dude we love this guy i'm not gonna you think i'm gonna press charges against the guys for raping my 12-year-old daughter? He's really good.

He's the best state school basketball player in Arkansas. He's so good. I mean, honestly. And then he got, I think, getting sent to Utah. I can't imagine what happened to him. In that video, someone had said, i think it was kobe's wife that he had mentioned to her that he uh quote unquote liked to hunt uh little mexican girls and then he just said that to her without context it's like i don't uh i was reading about the whole

thing uh that whole thing and charles barkley always referred to him as a black redneck which i don't think that's a nice thing to say uh but i can't imagine um one of my close friends like you know like if i'm a woman and one of my close friends husband's close friends is hitting on me and i'm like nah dude you're drunk get the fuck out of here and then he's like i like to hunt mexican women for sport just like walks out just walks out of the house like not like oh fuck you bitch i think i see you fucking nasty ass pussy but then he's just like i like to hunt mexican women for sport i'll see you i'm playing your husband next week what a fucking like what is like anyway i don't know like it kind of speaks to... I mean, this same thing...

I'm not breaking any new ground, but I'm like... Like the Ben Roethlisberger thing. It's like, dude, if you're good enough, you got to be... John Jones. If you're good enough at a sport, dude, it's not the same. And that is bizarre. And I'm not saying it's a uniquely American thing. What are you looking at on your phone, man? You looking at pornography again? and that is bizarre. And I'm not saying it's a uniquely American thing.

What are you looking at on your phone, man? You looking at pornography again? I was looking at pictures of Carl Malone. How does he look in these days? I mean, he looks old, but he's not fat or anything. He's just got a gray beard. He did. He honestly, he's still jacked. God, how good do you got to be, dude?

Like to not, like for nothing to happen to you. Like Mike Tyson went to prison. And he was good. Yeah, but I feel like he was... I'm not saying he shouldn't have. I'm saying... A little hard to hold back. No, I mean, you couldn't even act like that. No, that's true.

Yeah. He couldn't even... He was like... He was raping everybody. He couldn't even put on a face for the cameras. There wasn't a soul in show business if you didn't get raped by Mike Tyson. And now he wants to be like... He's a sage old pothead now. There wasn't a soul in show business if you didn't get raped by Mike Tyson.

He's a sage old pothead now. Yeah, they put the black and white on the reels or whatever. And he'll be like, I saw the spirit of the fighter and I realized that it would die with me.

But I knew. And I cry every day. I cry every day thinking about the spirit of the fighter. And then it's just Adam 22 in the other seat or whatever being like, damn. It's like, and he's like also with the black and white filter, but like he's like smoking a cigarette inside.

And he's like, but he's smoking a cigarette inside, and he's like, that is maybe the most fucking saddest thing anybody has said to me. One of the Nelk boys will be like, if you have advice for any up-and-coming entrepreneurs or boxers, what would it be? Never lose sight of your warrior spirit, and never lose sight of being the best version of yourself you could be

And never lose Because I lost He has CTE So he does the thing where he's like I lost something I lost my dog And everybody just Because he's Mike Tyson

And because he still hits hard And because he's still very dangerous And because he's still very insane He says the most unhinged stupid shit. And then, yeah, like Bradley Martin or any of these dudes have to be like, yo, that's cold, dude. Like that's straight facts. Like you're spitting straight fucking truth right now.

And I'm so glad to have you here, Mike Tyson. Please don't eat me. Yeah, that Bradley Martin guy is good. Dude, he – he had yeah i that bradley martin guy is dude he uh i used to watch his videos on instagram when he was like mostly a fitness guy but i just see what his favorite thing to do is to bring on um world-class combat sport athletes and then ask if he could beat them in a street fight and then when they say no he goes oh come on bro it would be so easy and they're like no like he asked Devin Haney and he asked Nate Diaz and Nate Diaz yeah yeah I saw Devin Haney is like a championship boxer he's 150 pounds

but he was like dude like and Bradley's like dude if I gotta hold you it's over and Devin was like if you even get close to I'm going to hit you like 20 times in three seconds as hard as I can. Like, it doesn't take much to knock out a human man. And he's like, I don't know, bro. Like, if I get on you, like, it's so over. And Devin, he's like, dude, you're not going to get near. Like, what are you talking? Like, I don't know.

I think guys do enough tests and they're like, yeah, I can beat up anybody. I can kill. I can. Really? I'm 300 pounds. I think I can beat up anybody I can kill you know I can really I'm 300 pounds I think I can beat you up yeah right well it's like well there's one side of it

that's like you of course you can hurt 99% of the population you're on cow hormones you're on bull medicine like you're injecting fucking bovine growth hormone into your ass

yeah like if Nate Diaz stood there, yes, you could hurt him. Does that make you feel better? Yeah, and then there's a second half of it that's like, like the one part of it that's like, yes, you could probably beat up some professional fighters because you take fucking bull steroids. There's the second part of it that's like, why does it matter? Also, he's not having Francis

right that's a very good point he's not having a guy who's remotely in his way if he asked Tyson Fury would fucking smack the shit Tyson Fury would just go over there and beat the hell out of him he's like 6 foot 10 like 300 pounds Tyson Fury's dad go over there and beat the hell out of him. He's like 6'10", like 300 pounds.

Tyson Fury's dad could whip his ass. Tyson Fury's dad is so funny. He's the most upset man in America. He's a giant, very angry man all the time. Yeah, that is a good point. Francis is really nice from what i've seen interviews he's like okay but like yeah bring on john jones and throw john a couple key bumps before you start and get let him take like seven or eight shots and then be like john

you think you beat me in a street fight john jones would stab you he would he would like kick you in the bucket yeah even nate nadez was like, yeah, he would do it now. Yeah, yeah. And he was like, I saw that. It was like, it was almost like when you see a dude at a party and he's trying to spit game

and the girl's like, well, where would you take me if we went on a date right now? He's like, we would go to the park. He's like, we would probably go yeah my place did that yeah bradley was like uh but if i like get a hold of you and i get on top of you and they goes uh you won't so i was just like like there's so much it's what i think

the thing about it is is that like all the other shit aside there's a whole it's like the Chris D'Elia Brian Callen podcast world it's like 42 year old men like grown men I think Bradley's in his 30s or whatever but like 42 year old men being like bringing on, I don't know

fucking John Fitch or like an older UFC fighter and being like I think I could take you and then the guy has to be like I don't know you know probably you know I probably beat you up and then the guy but what if I all of the situations

start normal and it's like well what if I had you by the neck and it's like what if I shot you in the back exactly well what if I snuck up on you and I grabbed like I'm like dude these guys that like that do this stuff for a living it's like they of course man like what the fuck I don't know it's like um it's literally like if you never mentally progressed past my dad

could beat up your dad but there's like a whole market for that like i think i think a lot of it's like the steroids doing that that's a great point i have heard that i have heard that i think i think like i think if you're running like those levels it's very hard to get out of like that alpha mentality yeah you know what i mean i don't think i don't think guys who are casually bodybuilding are like – but when I see those guys who are fucking like 315. Lean. Yeah. Like just yoked to the gills.

Dude, there's no way that doesn't – Who was the guy, something Wheels, the black dude? Larry Wheels. Yeah, the younger guy, right? He's like in his early 30s. I think he's like – He was on that – I saw him and another dude both they were talking about like

running test and d-ball and all that shit and like they were like oh no it makes you like schizophrenic they were like i was hearing shit like you start hearing voices and stuff and all the voices are like you gotta you gotta fuck everything you gotta kick the idea i was like what the fuck they're like no it's like it makes you insane. And like you don't sleep and like you're super emotional. But they were like, yeah, but. Yeah, that that that Larry Wheels guy like was like seriously addicted to. He like almost destroyed his his like long term relationship because he was seriously in debt because he'd spent tens of thousands of dollars

giving it to Chatroulette. That's pretty sick. And I can't help but think probably running stuff did not help that part of his brain. I mean, he talks about it now or whatever. He, like, you know, got help or whatever. But he was, like, addicted to giving cam girls money for a long time.

I remember. Like, all his, like, YouTube revenue was going to that. I, like, I don't know. I've heard similar things from... Like, I talked with a guy recently. It was, like, six months ago, I think. I don't know. It was last year. And he said that when he he got put on trt he's an older dude when he got put on trt the first doctor he went to was like a fly by night dude and they

like fucked his dose up and shot us like it like it was too much and he was like he was telling me he's like all he was like i was at the grocery store thinking about just like, like, just not just like going up and knocking somebody out because they took too long in front of me. And then at the same time, I was like, I have to go fuck one of the watermelons out there. I'm going to die. He was just like, he literally he was like, I got so horny that I was like getting sick. I was like, wait, what? He was like, dude, like I would be in traffic. And like, I like I would be in traffic and like i like i

would like start to like he's like if i don't jack off right now i'm gonna get sick like i would be nauseous i needed to fuck so bad and i was like dude why were you like he because he got like he hopped on trt in his mid-30s because his shit tanked but i was like what what happened he's like i don't know they fucked my dosage up so he's like all i wanted to do he was like he said he would be at his house and uh and i guess this is one of the things that I heard, like, one of the – he's at his house, and he's, like, cooking, and he's, like, putting the steak on the thing, and, like, he's going back from the gym. And he's, like, not in a position to jack off.

And he's, like, oh, if I – he's, like, I had to, like, at the kitchen, like, in the kitchen. And I was, like, dude, what the fuck? Like, that sounds like meth head. He's, like – he's, like – I was, like, that sounds like meth head shit. And he's, like, no, he's like, I had to, like, at the kitchen, like, in the kitchen. And I was like, dude, what the fuck? Like, that sounds like meth head. He's like, he's like, that sounds like meth head shit. And he's like, no, dude. It's like this, he's like, he's like, like, back in the day when I was younger, you know, I did coke, some crystal. He's like, it's what it felt like.

It's like being on meth. Only you're just like, like, you can put on 25 pounds of muscle in, like, three months. And I was like, dude, get the fuck out of here. Why would you do that shit? And he's like, I don't know. Sounds awesome from being honest. If I was – Yeah, yeah.

If I lived – But if I even – I mean, if I encountered even one person. Right, right. I was like, you make a really good point because I'm like, okay, if I could go to a cabin that had a gym in it and, like, nobody knew. I told my friends I'm going on sabbatical. I got to go find myself. Like, don't contact me.

I can't have my phone either. This is very critical. I cannot have my cell phone because I'll do something stupid. But I go out to the woods with a gym, and then I just run Tren and fucking D-ball for like three or four months. And I have to get my food delivered to me by somebody wearing a lead suit, like an old deep-sea diving suit from the 1920s. And they just put it through a slot in a door. Like I'm a fucking animal. And,

uh, man, do they, you, you like your friends come and pick you up. Like they find you, they open, like they,

they open the door. You haven't worked out at all, but you've just fucked little holes in the dirt outside. Like you haven't put on any muscle, man. Yeah. You're just, you're just bisexual.

Yeah. Yeah. You're only, you like got fatter, actually, from the water gain. You didn't put on muscle. They're like, dude, how did the steroid sabbatical go? And you're like, not great. I'm just gay. Just like a gay. I'm just, like, homosexual now, I think.

I fucked the house. So there's that. I figured out there's a hole in the house So there's that Figured out There's a hole in the house If you guys get bored You should rip your power outlets The socket out of the wall And then leave the live wires in there And then fuck it

It's really The What I'm about to do to you guys I gotta apologize This is not gonna be fun I'll have you guys know I I'm about 315 right now About 315

6% body fat And none of you can stop what's coming Like it's just not Really in the cards for you guys You say that to them Right when you hit the freeway You're like in one of those intervention vans From the show where they like take them to rehab

Like a big white astro van All your buddies are in the rows of seats And you're like in You're like in one of those Intervention vans From the show Where they like Take them to rehab Like a big white astro van All your buddies Are in the rows of seats And you're like Guys Man thank you for Coming to get me It was getting dark out there

Like dude yeah You know Fucking you go out to the woods And do steroids by yourself Man we didn't fucking know Where you were at Yeah yeah yeah Listen guys

Um Man I uh None of you are going to survive what's what I'm about to do to you guys ah Jake's cracking jokes again steroids fuck with your brain 100% they did man and I'm not

playing I'm going to fuck every one of you until you're all dead basically and the driver's like well even me and I'm like well you're going first that's why I say nobody's getting out of this thing alive uh but yeah you know steroids are bad and you shouldn't do them uh unless you're really bored dude it's uh i forget if you said this but i somebody made a made a joke it wasn joke. It's just like an observation of like when guys that are like sub 5'4", you know, like get on steroids, it makes them look shorter.

Like I don't know. Like it does make them look like smaller. You know what I mean? Like obviously they're way wider, but there's something about being wider that like makes you look. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. When I used to go...

When I worked out at Gold's and I would see the Gold's guy. You know, the fucking dudes who live at Gold's. And they're like 5'2". But just... You know what I mean? Typically like... Do they actually live there? No, they don't live there.

I didn't know if the... I was watching the Arnold documentary, and I didn't know if any of those guys live at the gym. They have them. You know what's funny is they have those for fight camps, but I don't know. You know, that makes – I'd probably Google it. Like, if you're training for Mr. Olympia, I would imagine either you have a really nice home gym

or you're living somewhere that has dorms. Because American Top Team, like all the big MMA camps, they do that stuff. Hammer House, Black Zillions, they all have apartments typically on top of the gym where guys stay. And they just train you around day after day. Yeah, you know, losers, you know what you should do instead of pursuing your dreams as a professional fighter? You should get in to Oxy. It's so much fun.

You don't have to do push-ups. You don't gotta fucking tear your rotator cuff. You don't gotta do fucking squats. You don't have to celebrate. Yeah, you can never ever, your fucking family stops talking to you. Listen, here's the really cool thing about getting hooked on painkillers.

If you can just balance it out where you can pay your rent and then all the rest of your money goes to painkillers, you can live a completely solitary life like a monk. You know? Like you can live. Literally no one will ever talk to you again if you want to if you want to be alone you know what i mean like if you don't if you're sort of misanthropic in that way you don't you don't want to be around people just

get hooked on oxy it feels awesome um kind of hard to find these days fentanyl is pretty bad you know but yeah that's my advice I don't mean to I don't mean to promote bad behavior but I took a couple ibuprofen before we started damn that shit hit I remember

when I was a kid I thought like I thought I thought like Tylenol got you like fucked up like when I was when I was in like

third or fourth grade. Yeah, I thought that's why you can only take a few. It's literally just poison. It's just like it gets in your kidneys and it turns to like clay or some shit. I don't fucking know. Yeah. Same, dude. Yeah,

same. Well, okay, so I used to take like 10 to 12 Vicodin a day, but they were 250 milligrams of acetaminophen. They were like the 10 milligram Vicodin, 250. So I just always had like 2,500 milligrams of like acetaminophen in my body at any given moment. Yeah, that's a lot more than what I was talking about.

See, that's another one more than what i was talking about you know like i had migraines so but you you were eating like a clay pot every day so i'm once again gonna let you have this one because that is fucking insane, you know? You had over 2.5 grams of ibuprofen 24-7. That's fucking unimaginable. Well, like, so, dude, I got my... You had, like, an eight ball of clay. I got my formula down really good. If I woke up at, like, eight for work, and I took 4 Vicodin, I could like work was pretty fun. I liked being around my coworkers and stuff. I had a good time.

And then I would get home from my shift around 2 or 3 because I had an internship at this like financial journalism company for like 6 months. And if I got home by 2, that's when i would start to feel a little sick so uh i was like plus my 21st birthday was coming up and so i just had to ramp it up a little bit you know i had to i had to i had to have a good time so it's like a good yeah a year period where it was like four in the morning three in the afternoon and then night time that was daddy's time that was you take about like five and that's the good shit you take five you take five 10 milligram vikin you you bump like a like a line of hydromorphone right before you get to sleep and man you sleep like a baby your bpm is like what they give the animals you sleep so good dude with like man uh you sleep like your beats per minute is like eight just kind of have like a, you're kind of like. Yeah.

It's kind of. Yeah, it's like a gutter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, anyway, this is not important. It doesn't matter. Whenever I tore my AC joint, I hadn't had a vicodin in a long time this was like two years ago i tore my ac joint trying to do john wick moves drunk uh to my fiance's brother and uh and we were on like hard concrete and i tried to do i tried to do like a

it's a like a jiu-jitsu eminari roll like i tried to roll on concrete and like grab his ankle and like put him in an ankle lock and I just basically did a somersault like head first on a concrete and just like tore my AC joint

anyway we get to the doc yeah I remember I think we were doing the show we just started I think

yeah I remember you texting me being like I fucked my shoulder up I was trying to do GI Joe moves that's literally I think that might be verbatim what the text said I remember you texting me and being like, I fucked my shoulder up. I was trying to do GI Joe moves. That's literally, I think that might be verbatim what the text said.

But I went, anyway, I go to the ER and I thought I broke my collarbone. And like the lady, you know, looks at me and they take a look at my shit. And they're like, you didn't break a collarbone. You tore your AC joint. It's pretty painful because it's like a static ligament. It's not supposed to move. And she comes around with a Vicodin and she gives it to me. And it was like the sirens from kill bill when Uma Thurman runs into the other blonde bitch, you know?

And, uh, like Ashley's sitting there and like the ladies hand me the Vicodin and I'm looking at Ashley and I'm looking at the lady and I'm looking at the vikenden and i'm looking at that and i'm like i had like a thing in my head where i was like you could probably take the vikenden now you're 27 years you're 26 years old like it'd be fine you know and it was i did take it but i thought at the time i was like i sometimes i have moments where i'm like could it get bad again you know what i mean like i've had several of those the last year like where I'm like it could you know you could let it you could let it ride you could lose the show you know who's banned lose your apartment who gives a fuck I'd still do the show I'm recording from from my just in front of I-35.

I'm on the I-10 exit just like, hey, what's up, man? Our show just becomes 10 minutes because I'm just like. I'm using the pimp next to me. I'm using his hot spot. He's just like slaying and pussy on the side of the road. I'm like, hey, bro. You have like gold shackles on every time we record yeah i'm just like oh no man it's it's a you i'm like i think this month um i'll just i'll just come to your trash can and you're like oh i mean you could pick me up and take me to the

spare bedroom your place if you want i'm like yeah but that would be twice as much driving wouldn't it jay because i'd be pretty fucking stupid yeah you're like you yeah, but that would be twice as much driving, wouldn't it, Jay? Because that would be pretty fucking stupid. Yeah. You're like, hey, dude, I'll come to the halfway house. We can do the show from there. And I'm like, man, the AC's been out in the halfway house for like two years, dude. Can we just do it in Fort Worth? And you're like, oh, man, I don't think.

I'm like, I haven't mowed the lawn. I live with like a convicted rapist who got off on a technicality. Like there's just rats in it and shit. You know, I'm like, dude, I really would just appreciate it. Dude, I just want to sleep in a nice bed and get a shower. And you're like, yeah, don't we all, man. Yeah, I mean, that's what Steve Jobs wanted. That's why he made Apple.

So, you know, you shouldn't have had that oxy, man. You know what everybody should do is that they should listen to this, and they should go on over to patreon.com slash pendejotime, and they should slide us five bucks a month if you're not a subscriber already. We got a lot of new listeners. Thanks to all the people who stick around after we have a guest on a show that's not like our show. And maybe you listen because you think it's like, oh, this will be like Trill Billies

or this will be like Chapo. And it's not. It's just mostly me and one of my closest friends in the world just talking at each other. Hey, Bessie. We want some pussy. Hey, we want some pussy. Hey, we want some pussy. Nope.

What if the song was two seconds long and that was it? You know what OPP? Everybody say, hey, we want some pizza. Yummy, yummy pizza. Kid's bop version. Oh, I'm so hungry. Me munching long time. I'm hungry.

Me munching long time. Sitting at the crib eating some Swiss chard. Like wealthy kids bop. Sitting at the crib eating cat, yeah. Anyway, I thought it was

like a fish or something. Swiss chard. Nope. Well, it was dick. Hey, but that's good, though. You know? Yeah, it's sitting at the crib with my dick on hard. But in the censored version, he says,

Sitting at the crib watching Arsenio Hall. Which doesn't rhyme, but... We ride with her on the back of the bus and fill her body up full of that food. Three-six mafia having fun on tour. But we ride with her on the back of the bus and fill her body up full of that food. Three, six months. Three, six months. Having fun on tour. I'm trying to remember, though. I had a Project Pat one that was about being a kitty cat last night.

I can't remember. It was. Just you'll remember. You'll text me. If you're listening, if you're're listening you're already a $5 tier you want some video episodes it's not just $10 a month you get access to all the bonus episodes

all the bonus video episodes of which there's a big backlog of now they do get better with quality if you start from the first ones it was when we weren't making a lot of money from the show and we had a fucking shitty ass camera but the quality of it's gotten better we've got better mics and better camera setup and shit so uh don't feel discouraged uh the show's the same way but also if you go back on the backlog of the patreon i also want i do want to say the audio is bad i'm not responsible for anything i said the first six to eight months of this show me and thomas were

i think we would just sit there and drink 900 beers each and be like you ever fucking think about it and you're like yeah you know um so yeah uh 10 bucks get you that 50 bucks you can do that if you want don't do that though uh that's too much money and we don't have a tier for that it's supposed to be a fake tier. Yeah, kibble. Yeah, kibble. I like my treats, kibble. I'm eating meat, kibble.

No. Have you heard that one? This is probably your best song. I'll send it to you after. But yeah, basically you'll get kiddie versions of all your favorite songs and yummy munchie food versions of your favorite songs. Hungry Kids Bop. You get...

And then... Oh, also, yeah, you get Discord access. We've got like over 600 people on Discord now, I think. Yeah, it's pretty popping. Some people got jobs from there. Sometimes they sell each other shit. Yeah, some people like people put porno on yeah we do have a we have a porno channel it's called big fucking nut sacks

a big cock and hole and we watch it all right you know not really but but it's a good community. People, recently we had a guy whose cat needed some help. He put the link in there. Hell, yeah, because we're fucking good in there. We're good people. We'll see you. We're cooking up something cool. We'll see you all. It probably won't be out anytime soon, but we're going to do something cool this weekend

and it should be fun. We're going to have sex. We're going to have sex with each other. It's going to be sex. Bye. It's awesome. Yeah, bye.

Yep, it's going to be cool. Bye. Are we really? Okay.