Pendejo Time - dumb bitch juice

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

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Oh, Chaka. Chaka-flaka. Chaka-flaka-flame. Yeah. It's a beautiful goddamn Wednesday evening here in Langley, Virginia. All the best podcasts are funded by the CIA. I'm sorry to say that you're faves. That's the CIA.

That's the CIA. What do you think it stands for? Creative Enterprises of America. Exactly, yeah. Creative Idiot Association. That's a negative word. No, idiot can be good. He goes idiot on it.

He went idiot. How about CIA? Kind, I love you, always. Okay. Yeah, not bad. Crackers with Initiative of America. There's a W. Where's the W from?

It's the small. You know what I mean? Like when a word doesn't fit in the acronym, they just kind of drop it in it. You know what I mean? Also, you said kind of, which starts with a K, so I don't want to fucking hear dick or balls from you, dude.

It's a sound. It's a sound-based... Sound-based. Okay. It's a sound-based acronym. Like steam. Like steam. S-T-A-M.

Sitting towards everybody. Always man.A-M. Sitting towards everybody, always man. And moaning. Sitting towards everybody and moaning. You know, you always try to twist my words into some sort of perverse, monstrous beast. You ever think about that? Yeah, you take what I say and you turn it into the words of the beast. You turn it into a fucking PMB. You turn it into the words of the beast. You turn it into a fucking PMB. You turn it into the words of the serpent.

You nasty bastard. Turn my shit PMB into a monstrous beast. Monster has a... Have you seen the monster hard tees? Yeah, I've had them. They're called nasty beasts. Yeah, I've had a lot of those nasty beasts. Dude, they're good.

They get you fucked up No dude Like every time we're at the store My brother's like Hey do you want a Nice room temperature 12 back of Nasty beast

And I'm like No dude this No Me and my buddy Cross We get down with those nasty beasts Let me tell you That's so disgusting dude I just can't

I will never drink anything called They're not bad. There's no way they taste good. I mean, do they taste good or are they not bad? They get you fucked up. So fast, because they're not carbonated. And it's like 6%. Well, that's what I was going to say.

It's a Twisted Tea plus 20% added on. I was going to say it's like... It's not as good as a twisted tea flavor was. No, right. But anything named Nasty Beast, like I would assume... It's pretty good if it's cold, it's good. If it's not cold, it's bad. Okay.

I had one that was like pretty much room temperature, and it was an actual Nasty Beast. I've had some delicious beasts, too. The mango one is pretty good um you get the lemon one the lemon beast well what kind of got me is they didn't even spell it like nasty like i understand the pun it but it's just n-a-s-t-y beast and i don't even know if they even meant it to be a pun it might just be called nasty beast okay yeah i just i i would just be personally i i you know that's not true i think there was a time in my life when i would have

definitely put the nasty beast away i just can't trust that it's gonna make me feel good you know what i mean like i can't trust that i'm gonna feel i mean i used to drink bootleggers that doesn't sound like it's the same thing. Yeah, yeah. What else? Jayden was telling me that his kitchen manager was, he was like, yeah, I got a, I got, whenever I get home, I like to make myself my own special drink. Very in the swamp juice vein,

but Jayden was like, oh, like, you know, like a cocktail or whatever? And he was like, no, it's the Four Loko pregame blue mixed with Kentucky Deluxe. The guy has like four DUIs or like six assault charges and like none of the top of his teeth. His name's Big Kev.

He's like the lead kitchen guy or whatever the fuck. Jaden was like, blue, like Four Loko pregame, like the liquor, and then you put that at Kentucky Lux he's like yeah yeah I guess you're real fucked up he was Jade was like yeah no I mean that's you're mixing like blue like snow cone syrup with that has like you know everclear basically in it and then the shitty like what you drink before you go out and kill a bunch of homeless guys like Kentucky Luxuxe is not... It's just...

It's grain alcohol dyed brown. I don't even think it's actual whiskey, where it's like 50-50. It's like an enhanced... Whatever the fuck it's called. That's okay. It sounds good. That's the real nasty beast.

Nasty... I'm going to start one, and it's going to be called... Fucked up. It's going to be called Gross Bitch. Dude, listen. If you could market that to like communication major type girls, like girls who work in marketing.

Oh, if it was called bitch juice, I could fucking sell that. If it was wine in a can, it was called bitch juice. Yeah, yeah. I could sell that. Not even dumb, called bitch juice yeah yeah don't sell that it's not even dumb just bitch juice well i i say dumb bitch juice because i had a i had an ex-girlfriend that used to like exclusively drink beat boxes and she called them she's like oh i got my dumb bitch juice or whatever and i was like oh that's that's kind of nice like like it's edgy in a way like i could

see that being like an actual like, do you want your stupid slut juice from the store? Yeah. Well, I'm like, like, think about it. Like people could start like shorthanding it. You know what I mean? Like I'm going to get a six pack of DBJ. Like you want to, you want to get a little stupid tonight and you're trying to get a

dumb bitch mode. Like think about money. Think about making money and selling alcohol to people who can't drink alcohol yet. No, I got it. It's going to be, there's going to be different kinds and it's going to be different races. Yes. There's going to be a white bitch. Juice.

Juice. There's going to be a black bitch juice. We're going to have an Asian bitch juice. Okay. Latino, Latina. Latino bitch juice. Latino bitch juice. Okay. Latino bitch juice. Latino bitch juice. Yeah, that's just fucking disgusting. Any other races you guys can think of, let me know.

Indian bitch juice. I said Asian. I thought that went in the same category. I don't think so. I know that I'm wrong, but to me, it's different. This is the continent of Asia. I understand, but in that- Oh, do asians look the same to you jake jesus christ i'm trying to make juice and i'm trying to make fucking juices i'm trying to make fucking alcoholic drinks for different races big big bitch juice it's not just races yeah that one has more calories that would

it's just bigger around for a bigger hand Well I was thinking like I think the flavor Well I think maybe race based Wouldn't be a good idea But maybe yeah maybe weight based Yeah big bitch juice There's an ugly bitch juice And you would only give that to like

A girl at a party you thought was gross looking You give that to her And then sexy There's fuckable Fuckable man juice If you're a lady you can give that to her. And then sexy, there's fuckable man juice. If you're a lady, you can give that to a guy you want to fuck. Or ugly ass man. Small dick juice.

Yeah, okay. I like where you're heading. Big cock fucking juice. I'm just trying to make money here. No, no. I think we need to start with the recipes now. Big balls juice. If you think that somebody has big balls, you can give that to them.

Big medium booty juice. What do you think about medium booty juice? Yeah, just kind of like a normal ass. I'm thinking for big bitch juice, go Synthesix mass gainer And then four loco gold And then we throw that in a blender And then you serve it in like 84 ounce jugs Yeah

They look like the Looney Tunes They have the triple X's on it And then there's like the trucker mud flap silhouette But it's the biggest fucking bitch you've ever seen Yeah there's crossovers too There's like big white bitch juice Okay Okay You like that? It's the biggest fucking bitch you've ever seen in your life. Yeah, there's crossovers, too. There's like big white bitch Jews. Okay.

Okay. You like that? Very good. Yeah, what's in big white bitch Jews, though? Because I'm trying to make sure we get our time. Well, it's like a white Russian, but if they used a McFlurry instead of the cream. It's just like heavy cream. Yeah, yeah. Like buttercream instead.

Yeah. So buttercream. So Yeah. So buttercream. So a white Kentuckian. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, then there's skinny bitch juice. Noisy bitch juice. Just a little too much.

You know what I mean? Just a little too much. Well, I'm just worried with some of the crossovers that if you add races with noisy and fat, potentially, I think that could get pretty bad pretty quick. You know, whenever you said you wanted to have race based, I thought this is a weird idea, but I'll let Jake cook with this one, see where he goes with it. I think you're taking a step too far now. And I can't believe that earlier in the episode

you said we should have a dumb, that we should have a black bitch juice. That's a whole... I don't even stand by that. Well, that's fine. I mean, as long as you want to... And sometimes when Jake has these ideas, I'm like, did he smoke phone shop repair weed

10 minutes ago? Phone shop repair weed? I mean, it just makes me wonder, you know, whether he just chugged half a jug of orange juice and then decided to talk to several thousand people but i think that here okay i'll cut i'll we'll meet in the middle all right yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll um we can do the loud But we have to add beautiful I'm very much for that Beautiful loud black bitch juice

I love that Because that means It doesn't see it as a negative Right yeah yeah For example when I sincerely say That I love my loud Mexican neighbors Yeah I am You know it's part of their culture For example, when I sincerely say that I love my loud Mexican neighbors,

it's part of their culture. Sure, sure. Well, sometimes. Sometimes they just pop balloons out of the ground. I'm going to let you stand on that one. It is part of their culture. Why people don't have a culture where their goldfish has its six-week birthday and they party until 3 a.m.? They absolutely do, brother.

Come on, dude. You ever been to a trailer park three-year-old's birthday party? No. People are trying to fuck each other in the street. I haven't. The only difference, I would say, between a two-year-old Hispanic birthday party and a two-year-old white trailer trash birthday party is

in the times I've been to a two-year-old hispanic birthday party they are typically trying to cook some big fish or maybe a pig like in some way that isn't normal um and then with the white trailer trash thing it's like you're eating like thanksgiving food but in the summer you're eating like the weird fucked up sweet yams and you're also like knocking down like 800 Coors Lights. We didn't have birthday parties for babies. You just wouldn't tell them. Oh, respect.

I've heard of parents being like, yeah, we're not going to have a... Well, also your dad had like seven fucking kids. So I would imagine that it's... Like seven birthdays a year is pretty... My seventh birthday, our family friend brought a horse to our suburb. Did you ride it like a pony? You got a pony for your seventh birthday you fucking pussy? No, it was a full-sized horse out on the fucking driveway, Jake.

You got to ride your pony. You got to ride your pony. I didn't ride it. It was, I already knew the horse. We were acquainted, but I didn't need to ride it out on the fucking street, dude. You think I ride horses out on the street like an idiot? Some people do, man. People where I'm from do that shit all the horse. We were acquainted, but I didn't need to ride it out on the fucking street, dude. You think I ride horses out on the street like an idiot? Some people do, man. People where I'm from do that shit all the time.

I know people do that because they're fucking stupid. I'm literally, I would never do that because I actually know how to ride a horse and stuff. And I'm sure me getting on one now wouldn't even hurt it. Riding a horse to the local Walmart is like a... Like while you're wearing basketball shorts And then cowboy boots Is a badass So the Fort Worth rodeo every year

Is on the same street Or I have to go down that street to get to my gym Yeah And every single year I'll have a horrible workout And then get back listening to Yeezus Still amped up on pre-workout thinking about driving through a wall. Then I got to fucking wait at a crosswalk while like 15 guys on horses pass by, you know, eating corn.

Bread. The corn pops. Oh, okay. Eating freaking corn. There's like a black guy cowboy club in DFW. Is that which one you're talking about? They're like. Oh, okay. Eating freaking corn. Eating freaking horseback corn pops. There's like a black guy cowboy club in DFW. Is that which one you're talking about? They're like- No, no.

I just mean the actual stock show rodeo. It's held in Fort Worth. It's like a pretty big- Bella Hadid was at it this year, apparently. She competed. No big fucking deal. Yeah, apparently she grew up horseback riding. She looks like a horse girl. I at a wedding met

a woman who grew up doing horseback riding with Bella Hadid. She was pretty good. And that lady still does it professionally. But Bella Hadid I don't know if you knew this has quite a bit of money and she mostly lives in Weatherford.

Wait. Bella Hadid lives in Weatherford? Because she's dating a rodeo guy who has a ranch out there. Oh, okay. She basically lives around where Yellowstone was partially filmed. Oh, okay. It's kind of a nice country area. It's like the hilly area of the DFW. And I think I passed her one time because she was there.

I don't know of anybody else in Weatherford who has a fucking, it was like a, it was like a Rolls Royce Phantom or something like, yeah. Okay. I was headed to work and there was this fucking windows blacked out. Yeah. All white except for the windows. And I'm just like, damn, I'm about to spend 20 bucks at Chick-fil-A. This lady's really got it though.

But anyway, car, car like that in a while, and you just think about fucking gunning it? Dude, I saw a Bentley in Peaster the other day. That's crazy. I instantly thought, head-on collision. I didn't do it, but, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whenever I see the Cybertrucks in Austin,

which at this point is like... There was, like, a year ago, you'd see one, and you'd go, oh, yeah, there's those fucking things. And now people have them, and they've done stupid shit to them. there was like a year ago you'd see one and you go oh yeah there's this fucking thing and now people have them and they've done stupid shit to them people there's some people who've made them look like like mad max stuff there's some guys who have like um like green like wraps on them guys are doing all sorts of stupid shit but every time i see one i'm like oh man i want to hit this thing really hard i thought they'd only been out for a few months.

But I know Austin is like the epicenter, you know? Yes. Yeah. I remember seeing like on a thread somewhere that like of the pre-orders, a significant, not like over 50%, but like a solid number of the pre-orders were just like Travis County. So like Austin and then like kind of up into like the North Austin area and then like maybe parts of Buda and Kyle and shit I see them all the fucking time here like all the time and they fucking suck my dick and I really don't like

them um uh but yeah um yeah I always think about hitting the nice car. I almost rear-ended that fucking RWB for those of you who are into Porsches and body modification for Porsches and cool shit. Custom RWB Porsche. I was just on my phone. Listen, if you drive a nice car and you live in Central Texas and you're along the I-35 corridor and you have a nice car and you live in central texas and you're along the i-35 corridor and you have a nice car and you're driving around between the hours of like five and seven on tuesdays thursdays and then anytime on the weekends just park it because i will hit it i look at my phone while i drive and i'm not going to stop that and then um i don't have a car right now so i'm just driving my fiance's car and while I am insured on it,

it's just kind of, you know, sometimes you just gotta look at your phone when you drive. So anyway, I almost rear-ended this half-million-dollar Porsche. But that was in the van. Yeah, if I had done that, I would have gotten out and said, what the fuck are you gonna do about it? Dude, the guy in the passenger seat had a shy-sty on. He was white. So I think he was one of those, like, I just assume, passenger seat had a shysty on. He was white.

So I think he was one of those, like, I just assume when I see a white guy with poodle hair and a shysty, I assume YouTube millionaire. And I say that like I see it a lot. I've seen two of those guys, and one of them was filming something, and the other one was in the passenger seat of that Porsche. The driver would look like a race car guy. Oh, hell no. This shit just pulled up with a shysty low key. Yeah. What else do you call it? A ski mask. No, it's different. No, no, no, no, this shit just pulled up with a shysty low key. Yeah. What else do you call it?

A ski mask. No, it's different. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The one that's just- The balaclava? Yeah, yeah, basically, yeah. But that material- I just say ski mask because I'm racist-

You say ski mask? Okay. It's a ski mask. That's what they use it for. There's no great French art thieves yet i mean left the ira is all gone so you can't really yeah i feel yeah shysty you know if uh if you live in baltimore or something i get it i just feel stupid saying it well the ones that are not made of the ski mask material but they're almost like the under armor, like athletic material. To me, that is different.

A balaclava is like fabric. It's like the knitted. I thought the balaclava was the cut. Yes. No, what I'm saying is you're not wrong. In my brain, though, because I am wrong, the ones that are knitted, balaclava. The ones that are like the athleisure wear material,

like the wicking material, those are shysties. I remember when Nardo first pulled up with a shystie, all the jits were going, Fie. You know? I don't want you to keep doing any of that. I would appreciate it if you still— You don't like that? No.

Shystie. Anyway. Definition. Slang. Slang. Shystie definition. Slang. Slang. Let's try to see if it's slang. Yeah, okay, so I think maybe both of us... Because a balaclava, yeah.

Shiesty balaclava. Is it the same? Hmm. A balaclava, also known as a monkey cap, balaclava helmet, ski mask, or shysty. Ah, there we go. Yeah, yeah. There we have it. Everybody's right.

Monkey cap, I would definitely not call it that. I got to say. Probably phase that one out. There's one on here that says Christ is lord and it's got a cross on it and it's white and the cross is black and christ is lord is in like uh like black like garamond font and i'm 99 sure that the only people that are buying these are the patriot front guys you know i'm talking about the guys that have the white khakis and like the blue they're they're at every it's not the proud boys it's the other fucking goombas they all like they get like they ride 20 deep in U-Hauls and get pulled over by the FBI like once a month.

But yeah, there's no way that this is being purchased by anybody. Like they probably, I'm not kidding, I wonder to what degree this is, I'm looking at one of those like, you know, mass print t-shirt shops. mass print t-shirt shops. I wonder to what degree if a bunch of fucking part-time weekend warrior, like right-wing paramilitary losers were buying these, that they just started marketing them like on Google. You know what I mean? Yeah, probably.

Christ is king. They probably knew you would like it. Yeah, well, they probably knew that I hang out with you, and you're racist and really religious, and you want to build sort of like a white caliphate, and so they figured you should send this to Thomas. We'll show you cool stuff. We'll also show you gay stuff for your friend Thomas who's gay and racist.

They show you gay stuff? Yeah, but it says, it's got a little disclaimer above it that says, for Thomas, not you, send this to Thomas because he's gay. That's because I don't get that. You never send it to me, so do you just look at it and you don't send it along? No, I do send it to you, but you ignore my texts and my calls, primarily because you're a rude person and you're a bad guy.

And so you just text me. I send you. Yes, if you're trying to get to the bottom of what I'm saying, I send you gay sex toys and pornography and you ignore it because you're gay. I am not. I'm sorry I didn't notice. I didn't realize you'd sent me that stuff. Oh, dude, this one's dog. It's a dog-themed balaclava and it's got dog ears.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say, really normal guys buy this. Well, because what if, imagine you get robbed and they say, well, what kind of creature was it? Yeah, for the Fucking Dallas police. Yeah, it says he's robbed by some sort of dog boy creature. What kind of creature do you get robbed by, son? This one's got a monkey face.

This one's just Kanye's face. Is it blackface? If the balaclava, the shiesty, whatever you want to call it, has a black man's face on it? You know what I'm trying to say? Like, it's just, is it doing it? That's a good question. I think if you use it for a skit or something, it's not the best.

I think it's probably not as bad as, like, shoe polish or something. You know, that's probably worse. Yeah, that's probably the best. Maybe better to veer on the side of caution. I think the intent is important, though. Oh, man. This one says, no face, no case. And eBay sells them by the 20 pack.

I found one that's post Malone. Okay, that's fair. And it looks fucking disgusting. It has its tongue out. So it just looks like you have bad breath if you wear it. Oh, there's a Vlone. Hell not. If I got my Vlone Shystion, I think the function, honestly, is about to get pretty much lit.

Honestly, I kind of crash out whenever I have my V-Lone Shiesty. This is a buddy you've known forever that calls you on the phone like, Hey, man, wife's birthday is... We're going to grill out and hang out by the pool if you want to come. Yeah, dude, once I put on my V-Lone Shiesty, I'll definitely be there. To be honest, I think I'm going to crash out that night and hurt everyone at your party. I think I might hurt everybody at the party and rob them too once I get my VL1 shysty on. Yeah.

Honestly, I was watching Korn earlier and now I'm going to get my shysty on and I'm going to up pole and crash out.

Say it like you're going to go to bed. Yeah, I think I'm going to up pole and crash out. Yeah, I think I'm going to go. I'm going to up-pull and crash out. Yeah, it's been a long-ass day, man. I think I'm just going to up-pull and crash out. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah. I got to spin the block. You have to go to work in the morning. Hey, dude, we're going to go out tonight. Dinner was real fun. We're going to keep the party going. You know what I mean? I don't know, man.

It's a long day tomorrow. I got to uphold and spin the block. You know how it is. I got to up pipe. I got to spin the block. I got to slide on them, and then it's back to crashing out. Yeah. That's just how it goes sometimes.

Sometimes a motherfucker, yeah. I... Do you think... Never mind. I don't know. I don't... Yeah, typically I kind of run out of stuff to think about around 2 p.m.

This is a... I'll tell you what I think. What? I had a glass of orange juice earlier. I wish you could just get a glass of orange juice at the bar. You can. You just order one. You know what I mean?

Like, you can order one. It's not a problem. Do they have it? Yeah. It's, like, one of the most, like, common mixers you can get at a bar. They use them, I think, and obviously in screwdrivers, but I'm pretty sure it's also in a tequila sunrise. Oh, yeah, I could just get a mixed drink that has orange juice in it.

Never done that. I never really thought about that. I know you're not like a cocktail guy, but yeah. You can have mimosa,osa i think because i have orange juice in it yeah orange juice and champagne yeah i remember drinking one of those one time i thought dude i fucking love orange juice oh um yeah i guess i could just i could start drinking champagne too do they have cheap champagne yeah it's called andre um it's about five bucks a bottle it might with inflation be like seven now yeah Yeah, Andre. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah. It's the shittiest champagne you could buy. No, no, yeah. It's a normal name for it. Yeah, well... Does your eyes light up like a fucking give a side quest?

No, yeah. It's... This champagne is... It's a professional name. This champagne is named Andre. Oh, like Andre 3000? Nope. Nope.

Just Andre. Yeah, Andre. Andre De Champagne. Andre Champagne does sound like an NBA prospect. Yeah, yeah. Andre De Champagne. Like like an NBA prospect. Yeah, yeah, Andre de Champagne. Like a French big man. No, he's from the Bay Area, dude. Like, he's from, like, the guys when you see the college draft

in football or basketball, and there's guys in there named, like, Money De Miracle, like, Andre de Champagne, that guy is from, like, Oakland. You know what I mean? Like, maybe Stockton area. Okay. Dude, you don't give me. I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry. You give me nothing. You give me absolutely nothing. It turned out I was wrong, and now I'm sad. Fucking hell. Dude. You probably wish I was Andre. You wish I was Andre Champagne.

Hey, everybody, this is my wife, and this is my son, Andre Champagne. He plays for the Raiders. So there's Tequila Sunrise, you said, Mimosa. Tequila Sunrise, Mimosa, Screwdriver, and what else? You know, that Screwdriver is the only kind of Screwdriver a lot of kids know nowadays, sadly, due to the environment and stuff. Due to gender science. Yeah, just some shit, you know, politics.

Due to some shit that I don't understand fundamentally. Yeah, because some shit, you know. Dude, it's some shit that I don't understand fundamentally. Yeah, because of fucking capitalism. We used to know Philip's screwdriver, and now we only know, hey, Philip, do you want another screwdriver? Yeah, because capitalism is making everybody alcoholics. It's making everybody depressed or something. You know, people used to use a flathead screwdriver, and now they just all have to share a flat with a bunch of other guys

who don't get ahead, and all they do is drink screwdrivers. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or how about, let me run that. Can I run that back another time? You can absolutely try as many times as you want. This is awesome. All right.

Thank you, guys. Guys, you know, men used to know how to use a screwdriver. Yeah. And now, no, let me run that back one more time. No, of course. Dude, again, it's your show. Yeah. Men used to be able to use a flathead screwdriver.

And now all they do is stay in a flat with five other dudes who don't get head, and then they screw a driver of a car yeah they they robbed him yeah yeah they screw yeah over yeah okay they bang they bang they have sex with the guy the driver yeah yeah you're doing you're you're at turning USA, and you just have, like, a crossbow bolt, like, just in between, like, just by poking out of your left eye socket. Yeah, they – everybody settled. They used to – men used to use Phillips head screwdrivers, and now they fill up their heads with screwed up stuff.

Driver. I'm going to do that. I was already planning on doing an open mic tonight, but now you've inspired me. I'm going to do something similar where I will say the joke until I get it perfect, but I will not have a joke written. No, that's the best. That's that. Yeah, that's that.

Do you guys mind if i repeat that yeah you guys such i think it might take a few times for it to like to get a laugh out of it but i think i'll do it until i get a laugh yeah and then i'll do it a couple more times i like doing the impression thing until it's old like till it's really old like running through every impression i can do and then people are like, I'm like, you guys still like it? You guys still rocking with a young kid? A young 30-year-old jit?

You guys still like my Hank Hill impression? Do you guys still want to rock with a 30-year-old jit who don't know no better and is just trying to get it out the mud on his own you always nail it first try it's truly it is impressive dude the thing the thing is is that i can't do a lot of them but i can do like two three people from king of the hill pretty good and then just meet one and i don't know why like i've tried i try to do like i could do a march it's a little bit but then it just kind of becomes like a landlord-y type, you know.

But, yeah. I think you just flow into it, you slow your mind down, and then when a 30-year-old chick gets married to a 19-year-old snow bunny, that's what you call true love. Many people might disagree with the way that I live my life, but me and Shirley are doing just fine.

She throws it back on me until I go blind. Uh, fuck me. Yeah, it's stiff, yeah. Hey, Kill. I am no Snow Bunny. I am a proud, white woman with a big, sexy, huge cocked black husband.

Well, if you'd listen to one thing that came out of my mouth, you fucking stupid bitch, you'd have heard a different woman's name, not Peggy. Shirley, my 19-year-old TikTok girlfriend. My name is Peggy Shirley. You kill yourself, you piece of shit. I'm going to fucking... I'm going to go get my Chrysler 300 and get the fuck out of here this is my 19

year old red scare anorexia content creator girlfriend peggy shirley she lives in dime square whatever the fuck that means i still don't know it's a part of it's like a part of Manhattan. It sucks. It's like a part of Chinatown. She likes to make get ready with me videos where clearly she spends too much time around her rib cage area. And many of the captions are insinuating that you should eat less food and perhaps get an Adderall prescription. We have very loud and uncomfortable bony sex on account of I'm Hank Hill, and I'm sort of long and flat. And so is that dick.

And you fuck me. I'm horny, and I'm gay. Horny Hill. I'm horny, and I'm gay. Horny Hill. I'm horny fucker. My name is Horny Hill. I'm Peggy Hitler. I'm Peggy. Peggy.

Peggy. Or my name's not Hank Hitler. This is my Discord femboy girlfriend, Peggy Shirley Hitler. We met on the lower receivers in Texas, no feds allowed Discord channel. We must protect the white race. Now, Bobby, there's 14 words that we say in this house every day before we do our monthly prayers. What? Yeah.

Yeah, it's fun. And it's 14 letters, and it's propane twice. Yes. Yeah, Bobby's been hanging out in one of those, like, right-wing fucking Son and Rad vaporwave Discord places. Dad, it's called the 14 words. Bobby, the only 14 in this house is propane two times. Dad, there's 14 words in it. It's like... Bobby's's trying he can't remember because

he's stupid we might we might secure um oh what was it again we might we have to get white kids out we got to get them in the batting cages that's very good bobby do you guys do you boys, when you go to these rallies, which one of you dresses up like Leonidas from that movie 300, and which one dresses up like George Washington? Ah! Ah! I was trying to get the tone right.

Yeah, it's very funny. Dad, dad, dad, dad. He's like dying. His voice is so hard. It is quite difficult. Yeah, you start to lose it a little bit. But dad. But dad.

But dad. I want to hang out with Gavin McInnes! I'm Hitler! But Dad, there was... They're saying it wasn't six million. They're saying it was at most a quarter million. I don't think you need to be hanging out with men

who wear cat ears and do goose steps in their spare time, boy. Hey, Kill, get your black ass out of my yard. Con has been telling me about this. It's called Kratom. It's supposed to feel like an opiate, but you can buy it at the gas station. Apparently, they just make it where he's

from and it's non-habit forming and it makes you feel like you just took two percocet uncle hank you can get addicted to that anyway uh yeah i've been fucking i've been drinking watermelon um dude i can't stand that fucking Beyonce song. It's everywhere. You go to any fucking... It's infected basically every place that I do go to meet people to drink with. But it's never like the original. It's like some remixed...

This ain't Texas. This ain't nachos. This ain't Germany. I won't cheese them. I got nachos. This ain't Chex Mix. cheese them I got nacho cheese This ain't Chex Mix Yum I'm not hungry

Hey Eating sandwich Mmm It is tasty Wow This ain't This ain't dinner This ain't dinner. This ain't breakfast.

This is breakfast for dinner. Yeah, there we go. Eggs and bacon. Toast and waffles. Get some decaf coffee going. This ain't pussy. This is strap on. But it almost feels the same.

How about this? This is a lib version. Okay. I was about to give you one, too, but I'm really excited to hear yours. I'm not kidding. Liberal version. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This ain't lib version. Okay. I was about to give you one, too, but I'm really excited to hear yours. I'm not kidding. Liberal version. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This ain't Trump town.

Yeah. We ain't traitors. We're going to prosecute Donald Orange, man. Yeah. Here's mine. No covfefe. Wow. He goes wee wee.

Trump. We're going to kill and murder the January Sixers. This ain't Bernie. It's Joe Biden. You got to vote for him real soon. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This ain't Pete Buttigieg.

Yeah. It's Joe Biden If you don't vote for him You're a bad guy Woo This ain't celery I'm sorry No it's okay This is carrot

We're gonna make a veggie stew Get some broth Yeah Carrot, we're going to make a veggie stew. Get some broth. Yeah. Get some onions. It is piping hot for you. Very good. Very good.

Very good. I like that one a lot. That made me feel good. It was nice. It was nice. I like that one. This ain't burger. This is hot dog.

You have to fold it a different way. Mustard yummy. Relish yum yum. Put it on your hot dog sandwich. Oh, here's a little political one. Oh, I love it. To get the mind spinning. I can't wait for it.

This ain't Brexit. We love EU. Yeah. We love being in the European Union. Very good. Yeah. union very good yeah yeah it is Brexit

very topical I've been worried a lot about Brexit yeah me too it's been scaring the shit out of me I can't I'm losing sleep

over it yeah yeah he's been fucking trying to figure out Brexit you know yeah yeah

yeah this ain't let's see this ain't steroids it's just trt i take it so i can be real strong 55 years old And I text all the girls That my daughter's friends with That get off beat Like at the end

Like the ad libber's Kind of not sure This ain't Israel You can You can not I mean It's dead It's America This ain't Israel Woo I don't know You can You can not I mean It's dead

It's America Yeah it's Texas How about this How about this Let's get a little Political for this one I love it when you get political It makes me so excited

This ain't campaign Wow This is voting We're gonna get in the booth right now. Yeah. Red or blue. You can choose. You can vote for who you'd like.

It's just a pro-voting message. It's like a pro-democracy version. This ain't China. We love freedom. We hate communism and we like freedom. We live in Alabama. We don't have running water. But we love to vote for guys who have a lot of money.

This ain't Cuba. It's Miami. This ain't Cuba. This ain't NK. We can have jobs like working at Pilot. Working at Pilot. Working at Pilot. This ain't Vietnam. This ain't NK.

I can take a loan out and kill myself. Woo. Brand new Hummer. Yeah. 2012. Yeah. That's the whole song. It's the housing crisis.

Woo! My mom is bankrupt. Woo! My dad spent all the mortgage money on Craig. Woo! We lost our house. our house Moved in with my grandma She was addicted to murder she wrote in Jim Beam That's just about my experience after the crisis. Just kind of what happened.

Just what happened to me. You don't have to like, we don't have to talk about it or anything. You don't have to really like ask me any questions about it. Suck on that thing. Yeah. And you spit on it, you get up on that thing.

I'm going to get up on that thing, and I'm going to be up all up on the end of that thing. That's called, that's called the Tommy remix. It's called get up all up into that thing. Yeah. Get up all up into that thing. Until you're all up into that thing, and All Up Into That Thing. Yeah. Get up all up into that thing. Woo! Until you're all up into

that thing and then you're in there. Yeah. I'm going to be up in that thing whenever, and that's okay, and it's okay for me to be in there. It is consensual. Woo! For me to be in that thing until I get wet. You love this. I'm really good at this.

This is the best you will ever if we get married that's pretty much it for you actually you will never come again the watermark was pretty high with that performance I probably won't do that again maybe for a couple of years. Woo! You like my woos? Yeah. They're not even part of the Beyonce song? They're clipping so loud that the Discord isn't picking it up.

So every time you do it, it just goes like this. Like you just... Nice. Yeah. That's good. But your mic, I'm sure. It's because my range is so good. Yeah, you have an incredible falsetto, like a nice head voice. It's really nice. Yeah's good. Put your mic, I'm sure. It's because my range is so good. Yeah, you have an incredible falsetto, like a nice head voice.

It's really nice. Yeah, yeah. And I can go low and slow. This ain't blowjobs. Whoa. This is handjob. I know that you like to get in there pretty cool. But after, like, high school, maybe just don't do them anymore

You know what I mean I'm kind of You know I don't know It's what it is You know Talking about a guitar singer It's like

Well I don't know Yeah I'm a skipper Who knows I guess maybe It's just probably, you know. Yeah. I take blue, too.

Woo. Doesn't really work. Kill my family. My name's Chris. Chop them up. Now I'm going to get some baby back ribs. gonna get some baby baby back ribs yeah so basically after he committed the murder he fled the scene and actually hid out behind the chilies for six hours before heading in and getting some baby baby baby back ribs and then he shot himself in the bathroom.

Case closed. I mean, he kind of, but it wasn't that hard to close it. There's a lot of evidence, both forensic and circumstantial. Jeffrey Epstein. Who's that? Oh, yeah, he's a guy from back in the day. He's a horrible guy. Yeah, not a great not a not a great guy not a great guy least favorite guy uh and not the not my least favorite guy

hitler's my least favorite guy probably do the genocide i think i mentioned it on here a while back but i saw a picture of like where the bunker was like where he blew his brains out and it's like it's like a boba tea place now and then like a wax studio which is like obviously it's stupid as shit to be like a nazi now it's just dumb like it not only is it wrong it's just you lost so bad they lost so bad that they didn't even you know the guy blew his brains out at least that's the story yeah and they lost so bad that all they all had to get jobs somewhere else yeah the united states yeah they had to go they had to go get paid more here. Yeah.

You make a really good point. Really, if you weren't Hitler or any of the Nuremberg guys, you either got to go to Argentina and be there forever and nothing bad ever happened to you, or you got to come to the United States and make rockets and submarines and stuff and make a fuck ton of money. Yeah, it's like if one of us turned out to be like a pedophile or something and then our punishment was we got signed to like Tom Segura's like podcast. Yeah.

Both of us. Oh yeah. You know I don't even change our names. Yeah. Nothing bad. We're still called Pandejo Time. We're over there now. That's kind of silly.

Now that I think about it, if Hitler would have just not shot himself in the head. What, you know, what if he just freaking shaved? Yeah. I had the obsession with like. What if he shaved before he shot himself? Like if he shaved it off, just wanted to see what it looked like? Probably not. There was a CIA, now, who fucking knows?

You know what I mean? All this shit's stupid. It's, like, back-channel bullshit. And the CIA, they just leak fake stuff to kind of, like, whatever. But there was a guy, a dude who was working in South America during, you know, while we were doing all of our phone shit down there in the U.S. There was, like, a leaked CIA, like, like i think it was like a an exchange of letters between two like um what do they call like field office guys like guys who are out there like deep clandestine and one of them was like

dude i think i saw hitler at the coffee shop the other day and the guy was like what he's like no i'm like 90 sure hitler like made it out of the bunker he's like no the red army like they swing in that motherfucker and he called it quits he fucking suck started his little gay ass pistol whatever the other cia guy was like i mean that's what the russians said but like it looks like hitler and apparently they like one of the other guys went to like confirm and he could not confirm whether it was or wasn't hitler so there was like a conspiracy not a conspiracy but like what i think it was just some drunk cia like fucking alcoholic who was down there you know causing trouble and helping install like shitty dictatorships

that kill people and he saw a german guy with a little gay mustache because they were all hanging out down there and was like i think that might be Hitler. You know what I mean? Yeah. My running theory, at least. Yeah. If I saw him at the bar, I would probably ask. If he was Hitler? Like, you could just go up to him?

Like, if you were the CIA? If I saw him now, I probably would. Yeah. I'd say, hey, was that you? Hey, dude, did you do the... Did I see you? I think I saw a documentary about you. You're the guy are you hitler you do that you're uh adolf adolf right yeah adolf oh adolf hitler is that yeah that's you

yeah you were yeah i'm not a big can't say imagine you go up to him and you actually say hey man big fan then you go oh fuck fuck no i didn't mean i'm not a big fan. But you don't say it until after you just kind of play it off, like give him a pat on the back and then, all right, man, keep it up. Ah, fuck. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool to, like, spend your life as an adult man dedicating, I guess, like, not just your political identity,

but, like, your identity is wrapped up in, like, worshiping and supporting, like, losers. Like, I think you were telling me one time that you, like, drove past the, like, there was, like, a Confederate rally or something at the courthouse, you were telling me? This was, like, a long-ass time ago. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, obviously the politics are bad. You shouldn't be into that type of shit. But, like, dude, you lose. Like, why get behind a team that lost bad? Yeah, they used to do that a lot. What's the point? I think they would get together at that courthouse. I don't know.

I think it's just something to do. You know, maybe they all drink beer after. No, I mean, you could drink. But I understand being i don't understand it but like yes i see like guys are like racist and they like want to cause like pain and suffering to people who already are suffering and in pain and they just they're stupid they're dumb people um and some of them i guess aren't stupid some of them you know are learned but then that's even dumber because you're a learned guy and you arrive at a dumb ass position

anyway my thing is you'd think that you'd get behind a winning team. There are plenty of winning teams in history. I don't think people look at it like that. I think they get convinced that they're in some sort of danger, like their way of life isn't danger. No, I understand that. It's a really vague thing. Yeah, I get it.

But I think with that older generation, it's way easier to access that weird southern pride part of your brain. Sure, yeah, heritage, not hate. For us, it's kind of not as... I don't know, for me, growing up, it wasn't as much like there. You know what I mean? I think culturally, it's not quite the same degree anymore. I was exposed to a fuck ton of it by my uncle.

And basically a lot of people extended in my family. Like second, third cousins and stuff. They're all like heritage, not hate, like guys. But then they'll have like three beers and they're like, if they just had their own place that was far away from me and I never got to see him then i think maybe that i could deal with that but that's like that's more of a half minute like they're just you know losers pieces of shit but it always kind of struck me as like funny like the double think require like you have to believe two things at one time you have to believe that what you said like to your point that your way of life is always being threatened by what you believe to be, like, subhuman beings.

And also, you're, like, the toughest, strongest, like, best genetically well-equipped. Like, two inherently incompatible worldviews, and you're like, mm-hmm, they're mine. I have them at the same time, and they dictate most of my life decisions. And the people, you know, whatever the fuck. Not every racist sounds like that, or not every right-wing guy but it's just kind of the fact

though what i choose yeah it's funny when would you what you go ahead i don't have anything to say we're gonna say i was gonna say what if you saw a really racist guy and he had a boner and it was out would you touch it at all or would you just Would you Leave it be What would lead me to believe That he's racist Is he wearing like a clan hood Or like a proud boys thing He's in full Nazi regalia

Oh like a SS Kind of Sig heiling And his Dick is out Okay What does his dick look like Is it nice

Is it big Yeah It's awesome I got the nice top Of it big? Yeah. It's awesome. It's huge. It's got the nice top of the dick mane. Yeah, whatever a good-looking one is. Yeah, yeah. I don't really know what the idea is. Criteria is for like a platonic dick.

No, I probably wouldn't touch it or anything. I'd probably steer clear. I don't like interacting with people. Not even if it would save 100,000 lives? Whose lives? Pretty important question. Like 100,000 people from what? Like mass death or, you know, war or something?

Yeah, something like that maybe. No, I don't like to do trolley problem stuff where I have to touch a member of the SS's hard penis. I'm going to go ahead and say no. What if it's soft when you start and you have to suck it until it's hard, then you have to suck it until he comes also? Would that be over the line for you? If it's soft when you first see it, then you don't know what you're getting into.

There's a sense of adventure there. I believe in making a moral distinction between inaction and action, right? Inaction and action. So if I do nothing, I didn't do something by doing nothing, if that makes sense. Like if I don't suck the SS guy's penis until it's hard, then I didn't kill those 100,000 people. I did nothing. And killing and letting die is letting die is fine. In this instance, you can do whatever the fuck you want.

That includes nothing. is is letting die is fine in this instance you can do whatever the fuck you want that includes nothing so i wouldn't probably suck his penis um a because i don't want to interact with anybody like that b i'm not gay and c i got shit i have to do you know what i mean um so yeah he would come pretty fast so yeah but again like i don't it would be a big load though what's what's pretty fat and also adding all of of these little caveats. He would come in one minute. No, I think I'm good. Because you would be really good at it.

No. Because you guys would have a really good connection. So you would be really into it, too. I don't think so. And I think. But his load would be so big, it would make you blind forever. Well, no. Again, I'm not.

Because it would go into your eyes. Sure, sure, sure. Yep. I would probably say... Do you think you would think yes, maybe? No. No, I think it's still a pretty hard no on that. Primarily, again, A, not gay.

B, don't really like Nazis. C, I don't care if those people die it's not my problem so you're still thinking about whether it be yes or no no no no i'm i'm no and that's for the three reasons why i would not do that do you understand what i'm saying so you're just gonna let that so that guy you're gonna let that guy's hard dick be visible to a bunch of kids then? Yeah, again, it's not me. I didn't do anything. Whereas if you put it in your mouth and they couldn't even see it. Yeah, no.

It's not. I don't put it in my mouth. That's pretty sad. The kids see it, but I didn't do anything. I'm walking to the store. Now you go to jail because you didn't do anything about it, and he gets to go to heaven still. That's fine.

I'm on the story to the store to get gator light and uh and kratom pills i see a guy ss goose stepping with a hard penis out it's a night it's big or whatever the fuck it is it makes it nice i'm not gonna suck it even if it would if he said he would get you a big gatorade in exchange and that but the hundred thousand people still die damn Damn, dude. Now you're driving me nuts. Now you're talking. Would you suck a Nazi guy's awesome dick for one

big Gatorade and it's ice cold? Man, you know, I'm going to change my answer. My answer is still no, but it's a reluctant no. Because I really like the cucumber Gator Lights. They're really delicious and they make me feel awesome when I drink it but yeah no i'm still gonna say no i think my principles matter more in this instance than a gatorade but i will be reluctant in in my no because i really i really like the gator that's fine i think you made the right decision thanks

man you know i was gonna kill those hundred000 people either way. No, I know. I understand. I get it. You know what I mean? I'm like the Joker, but with words. Yeah. Man, that's a really cool thing for a grown man to say. Man, I don't think I've ever heard anybody say anything that cool before. Something I thought of.

I'm kind of like breathless. I'm kind of just like, you know, that's crazy. Well, you're kind of like, breathless. I'm kind of just like, you know, that's crazy. Well, you're kind of like Batman of jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I can see that. You know, like I kind of, I hit him hard. You know, I don't kill, but I beat it up. You know what I mean?

I can see that. Yeah, yeah. I beat it up. And you got a fucking badass car. Yeah. And you have a cave. And you have Alfred. I guess I'm Alfred.

No, you're not. You're the Joker with words. You're not Alfred. Hank's Alfred. He brings me stuff. No, I'll be the Joker. I'll be the Joker if he was Alfred. Okay, so just like an old British Joker?

This is like, okay, that's fine. That's fine. Yeah, the main issue is every fight scene between the Batman and the Joker, the Joker is 85 years old. And so he gets hit one time and then it takes him six months to recover. So each scene is like six months apart.

And he still has a massive, like, huge bruise on the back of his head. He's like Mitch McConnell. He's just kind of like. Why so? I think you meant why so serious. Why so? Is he dead yet? That cocksucker...

Nope, he's still alive. I don't think he's gonna seek re-election, though. Yeah, he needs to seek fucking heaven, bro. That motherfucker is old as shit, dude. He needs to seek peace. Yo. Bro. Yo, wokeness, Master Wayne. your bro

your wokeness master Wayne your astriadol master Wayne your your gender master Wayne leave it by the door

your estrogen I don't want any gender your estrogen master Wayne as you wish. Your gender will remain under this silver platter, Master Wayne. Master Wayne, your cat is.

Fucking Alfred catches Batman wearing Catwoman's suit. Oh my god. Mitch McConnell dead after 700 orgasms. Horrific gangbang. After getting his prostate licked for the first time. That's awesome.

Man, he had to go out like a fucking champagne. As student radicals embrace vile anti-Semitism on campus, Iran and its terrorist network continue to try to why is this you are not tweeting big dog you are fucking bleeding out internally no his campaign site is still up dude yeah but he announced it a few weeks ago right that he would that he wasn't i don't know i don't know his first name is Addison. Oh, that's gay. That's kind of like a Lindsey Graham type deal.

Again, like old Southern gay guys are a dying breed. They really need to. I don't know if he's gay. You know what I mean. He might just be. You know what I mean. I know Lindsey Graham is, but yeah, I get what you mean. Yeah.

I think he's just kind of a Southern nerd, to be honest. Well, I think, no, I mean, I'm looking at pictures of him when he's younger, and the gaydar is definitely going off. But what I'm trying to say is they should make some sort of concert, like a conservation area for old kind like very conservative, straight, clearly gay Southern man. Like a place where they can all hang. I guess that's just Florida.

Kind of, you know. Bro, Mitch McConnell Young looks absolutely like he was doing fucking bathhouse poppers and getting his shit slurped down on like a motherfucking push pop. Yeah, this guy, this is a gay man. For sure. He looks too joyful here, too.

Anyway. How many marriages has Mitch McConnell had? Bro. In 2003, Hugh underwent triple bypass surgery. Bro. God damn it. Let fucking God's been calling this cocksucker home since the Bush era. Over 20 years ago.

Yeah. Still got it. My boy's still got it. I think it probably still gets hard, you think? I bet he makes that shit get hard. Yeah. How old is Nancy Pelosi? I think she's like fucking 84.

God damn. Remember when people were calling him Moscow Mitch? Yeah. I don't. That was awesome. That was so fucking awesome. Do you remember when Lemonade and the Mueller report dropped at the same time? And then Trevor Noah posted a picture of Mueller with the boxer braids from Beyonce. And it was like, ooh, the Mueller report is out.

Slay. There was an era, 2019, 2018 to 2020, that was just absolute dog shit for stuff like that. People that were like, we're going to get his orange ass. I hope you like jumpsuits, Don. He's fucking Teflon. You're never going to send him to jail. He's never going to go. Oh, so apparently Mitch McConnell is stepping down as the Republican Senate leader in November,

but he's going to keep his seat. Oh, okay. Until his term ends in 2027. Oh, shit. Damn. Okay. Marjorie Taylor Greene. Yeah, more like fucking Marjorie and fat-ass bitch.

How about that? Yeah, more like Margarita drinking stupid slut that needs to get hit by a car. Yeah. Donald Trump more like stinkygarine fat ass bitch. How about that? Yeah, more like Margarita drinking stupid slut that needs to get hit by a car. Yeah. Donald Trump, more like stinky wiener. Lauren Boebert, more like gripping on that thing and fucking dying soon. More like fucking snoring

because she's so bad at giving you a blowjob. I don't know. I don't know. I don't fucking know. Fucking Ted Cruz is more like fucking dead fucking idiot that I am. Yeah, more like fucking go ahead and lose all your blood right now. Because I'm filling you with bullets and fucking blades. Yeah. Marco Rubio, more like It's getting dark Soon

And you will rue the day That you became Such a fucking huge piece of shit And I'm gonna kill you Greg Abbott I'm gonna skip that one But I thought of it

And I thought How about we don't say that Dead Dead guy That's who he should That's what it is Just dead More like red dragon.

Because he's the dragon in the KKK because he's a racist. Fiery motherfucker. Yeah. Fiery motherfucker. That white bitch. That white fiery motherfucker. Mike Johnson? More like fucking.

My Johnson's hard. My is going to fuck you if you don't fucking get your shit straight, dude. Who might not be responding to calls because his blood's all in the pool? Madison Cawthorn? More like fat-ass son. That's a bird. That's what I'm thinking on that one. Who are some other conservative guys that I've seen?

Madison, more like Madison can't walk. He can't. But he can hump his cousin naked. That video was fucking so badass. That video was awesome. So badass. It sucks he's out of power. They actually got him for saying there was orgies.

Yeah, dude, that's the thing, man. You literally, like, you had it all, dude. Jackson Hinkle knows what he's doing. You, dude, that's the thing, man. I, they, you literally like you, you had it all, dude. Jackson Hinkle knows what he's doing. You had everything Madison and you had to go and be like, I'm going to speak out against how sexually deviant, deviant some of these Christian guys are. And then they fucking posted a video of you and your legs gyrating on your cousin with your balls out. And now you're just some dude. You're're not even cool they don't even invite you to fucking cpus anymore to hang out with fucking uh kyle rittenhouse kyle rittenhouse more like die and then shit yourself anything about that like wild little mouse very good i like that smart like smile little mouse. You're taking a picture.

Taking a family mouse picture. And you're going to get into the front page of the Mouse Gazette. Are you going to vote in November? No, I don't think so. If I did, I would probably vote for Trump if I did vote. But I'm not going to. Okay. Yeah, you wouldn't vote.

I would vote for Trump if I did vote. Yeah. Just because, you know. You're kind of ready for this shit to be over, you know what I mean? Yeah, I just don't like what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't like Trump.

But, you know. Yeah, I don't like him either. I don't want to fucking. I'm not going to a voting, I'm not voting. I'm not voting, yeah, yeah. I'm one of those guys now, I think, I now understand why people are like, if I was going to vote, I'd vote for them, but I'm not going to. I get that now. I understand.

Because fuck them, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would never vote for Trump even hypothetically speaking Because He's like a loser And sucks my nuts But when people are like Yeah I guess I'll just like

People are like oh yeah I'm just gonna write and so and so Or like blah blah blah blah I'm like I get it Like if you want to feel like you're a part of it Fine But I'm not Yeah I'm not voting either. Somebody the closer that it gets to November, the people in my life, because like I have

I know people that are like, I guess, like conservative or libertarian or whatever. And and people I grew up with and and they're like, oh, you know, vote for Trump again or whatever. Like, just fucking with me or whatever. I'm like, like, I don't know what these guys are like. They know my politics or whatever. Right. And they'll be like,

I'm like, are you voting for Joe Biden? And I'm like, no, man. And they're like, ha, you finally made it to the Trump train.

Hey, I'm like, no, not that either. But like, I think they just, some people inside, I know like,

so like people that I worked with at the university, like, you know, liberal types is the same way. Like, oh, you're going to vote for Donald Trump. I'm like, no. Oh, you vote for Joe Biden. No, I'm not doing that either. You know what I mean? And they like can't understand, like not doing it. They think it's super important, which to me is like the biggest sack of shit.

Like, it's stupid. You know, I mean, like, just, yeah, it's fucking profoundly not that important, really. me is like the biggest sack of shit. Like, it's stupid. You know what I mean? Like, just as fucking profoundly. Not that important, really. No, not at all. I wait. You live somewhere like Texas. It's not really important.

Even I mean, even if assuming you're in a battleground state, people keep calling this the most important election of my life. And I could not disagree more. It's this. This is the same bullshit. It's the same bullshit. It's the same. It's like I can find no meaningful difference between the two guys. Nah, these candidates are having a mid-off.

Yeah, they're having a fuck. They are yapping. They got a PhD from fucking Yapperton University. Yeah, there's too much cap going on. I waited six hours in line to vote for Bernie Sanders, and that's the last time I'll wait in a line to vote for anybody, unless they make a really strong, super jacked, handsome, with maybe a four-inch girth, nine-inch penis,

carnival strongman president who could do October Revolution stuff, but in a killdozer, and his name was Andre Champagne de la Cruz. Yeah. That could that definitely that type of I'd vote for him as well. Yeah.

Thank you guys. It's been politics hour with Jake and Thomas and you're ready to end the episode. Dude that's fucking bullshit man. I'm sorry.

No we know that's fine. I just realized it's an hour 10. I thought you're trying to cut out of work early. Yeah. No sir not at all uh if you're

listening to this that means that it's free and that means you should head on over to patreon.com slash pendejo time and uh we've got a bunch of tiers for you uh that first tier that's a dollar you can hang out you get you get a dollar in there you don't get any bonus episodes but you do get to join the discord a lot of cool ass motherfuckers in there some people that i do actually really consider my friends and uh and they're cool but no bonus episodes five bucks a week or five bucks a month five bucks a month gets you access to a bonus episode every fucking week and discord access 10 bucks a month gets you access to all that shit plus a video episode we just got a new camera and it's super sick we're gonna record more shit for

you guys uh more video content for the honchos um if you don't want to sub to any of that stuff and you still want to watch the video episodes go check out our youtube um we do a video episode a month um one video episode a month that's free on YouTube. I actually have one that I'm working on right now, so I will be posting that later. And if you have $50 a month and you want to give it to us, that's cool, but you don't get anything extra. But check out the YouTube, youtube.com slash pandejo time worldwide.

We've got a cool-ass sketch on there. Run them numbers up. Sub to the fucking channel. Yeah, thank you for 1,000 YouTube subs. Yeah, we're a YouTube partner now, and fucking none of our shit's monetized because we all say fucking suck me off, and I'm soft, and I'm hard, and butt sex too much,

but that's okay. We'll get there one day. We'll get fucking huge-ass check. Do we get the silver play button at like a million, or is that 100,000? I don't know. Okay. Couldn't tell you. Okay, yeah. I don't know how close we are to that but i think we're we got to be at

least one percent yeah one percent there um yeah subscribe to the youtube channel follow us on socials penteo time worldwide uh and i love you guys and thank you and i love you bye bye