Pendejo Time - food song variety hour

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Will you change my diaper? Will you wipe my butt cheeks, please? Will you... Hey. Hello? Hello. What do you want me to say? That was my song I was working on. But it was, you poop your diaper. Hello, what do you want me to say? That was my song I was working on. But it was, you poop your diaper.
Starting point is 00:00:32 And that's all it was. It wasn't anything else. It wasn't any other type of joke. Nope. It wasn't anything silly. No, there was nothing comedic about it. It was a beautiful song to a baby. You poop your diaper. You pee pee in your body pants.
Starting point is 00:01:01 You poop poo, pee, pee. You poo, pee, pee, poo, poo, pee, pee. Pee, pee. Poo, poo, poo. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants.
Starting point is 00:01:29 Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your pants. Poop in your I can't do that voice for very long because it hurts my vocal cords. I don't know how Scott Stapp did that for like 10 years straight. Wipe me down. I went pee-pee in my bed
Starting point is 00:01:59 and I'm stinky. Hurt on here when I was here. Yeah, it's really fucking crazy. You can do it for a while, but if you don't have a sip of water, really, it does hurt to do. I don't know how he maintained that for so long. I remember when my mom told me they were a Christian band, and at every concert in the early 2000s, he had the tightest leather pants on and then a Weiss beater and was doing the gayest moves of all time.
Starting point is 00:02:31 And I was like, I mean, I guess they're Christian. They're Christian in the same way that Led Zeppelin is the Lord of the Rings band. Yeah, I guess it's like lore or like, know yeah i mean switchfoot was a christian band i didn't know that uh they only had that one song uh meant to live which i guess in hindsight tracks i was a badass rifter i need a mint or i can't live i haven't heard this song, but that's how I mentioned it. My breath is so bad, I need a mint to live. I need a mint right now so I can live. Stupid, dude. How about instead of Switchfoot, it's bitch put my fucking bitch put my fucking
Starting point is 00:03:25 food in my lunchbox. And it's to the lady at the gas station. Because she keeps taking your lunch out of your lunchbox. And you say, bitch put my apple back in there, you big headed bitch.
Starting point is 00:03:38 Why did she? Because I give my lunchbox to her because I can't keep it in my car. It'd get too hot in there. Okay. And this bitch keeps taking an apple out and trying to take a bite out of it. Anyway. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:03:54 You know, I was listening to Creed for like an hour today. And I think that's why I can't do a Creed voice now. It's because I was doing it in the car for like an hour. And I was going, you poop, you're a rapper. Or I'll do, I'll do, I like,
Starting point is 00:04:13 because it's similar for fucking, what is it? A lot of those guys had a similar thing. Pearl Jam. Yeah. Eating poop. had a similar thing like pearl jam yeah that's a signal eating poop off a plate with pee in a glass And he's stuffing his face with Pee Poop is in my plate and I eat it and it's so damn yummy
Starting point is 00:04:52 Stained. The stained guy. What's the song that they sing? Now that I've peed All on my diaper He has the same voice. The uh it's like the grunge voice the post-grunge yeah uh i'm on i'm on the outside of my house pooping eating toast toast with jelly and orange juice. Bow wow wow.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Oh she don't know that I finished off the eggs. Bow wow wow. Eating toast. And then I grabbed me a little grape jelly.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Bow wow wow, wow. It's overwhelming how stupid that is. Like, it started to make my eyes. It took so much concentration. That freestyling took so much concentration. Yeah. I wish it didn't. It does.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I'm sure, like, hey, let's go out and do karaoke tonight, guys. Yeah, oh, they're doing, like, a grunge karaoke at this dive bar. Oh, man, yeah. Thomas, you want to come with us? Yeah, but I got Pearl Jam. I'm going to do all the Pearl Jam songs. All right, that's fine. I'll do the Nirvana songs.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Great. Oh, he's doing Even Flow. Okay, he's coming up to do Even Flow. Everybody shut up. Peas and toast with gravy british breakfast but that's how the lyrics are coming up on the yeah yeah yeah cheesy toast yummy bread grilled cheese for me. Snacky please.
Starting point is 00:06:50 After school I like to make a grilled cheese. It's so yummy. Yummy. You like that? You like that, Jake? Snacks are back. I ate a snack. I ate a snack Snacks are back! I eat a snack. I eat a snack in my lunch bag.
Starting point is 00:07:08 I eat a snack, too, with my juice. Then my mom packed me for school. Snacks in bag! Bread and cheese and they're yum for me. This is like so good. and they're yum for me. If you got a lunch and you want it bad, you want to eat
Starting point is 00:07:34 sandwich. If you got some grapes and cosmic brownie and just a little chips. You like that? I eat food! Yum!
Starting point is 00:07:52 I eat food! Yum! All the snacks are very good. I eat it with my dad. He's nice to me. snacks are very good. I eat it with my dad. He's nice to me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Yeah. This is like a team building thing they would have a special egg class do. They're like, what songs do your dad like to listen to? Immigrant song. What do you like to do? I like to eat yogurt. Okay. Make a song from your dad's favorite
Starting point is 00:08:29 song and then sing it to the class. I eat snacks. Yeah. Hey, hey. I like juice. Hey, eat ice cream. Like the way your food is yummy and I am a dude.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Right now, now, now. I'm handling it. Yeah. Standing next to the fountain. I get my Coke and then I go to my car. Let me think. Oh, man. Um.
Starting point is 00:09:18 She's buying some groceries. And candy. some groceries and candy. I see a red door and I want to eat a snack. I eat Doritos and they come in a red bag. I eat the nacho cheese
Starting point is 00:09:43 it comes in a blue bag they are so yum for me and cost very little snacks I want to the end is an exclamation
Starting point is 00:09:58 I'm eating honey bunny plastic rapid snack. It's sweet and yummy, and for lunch I have to eat it fast. I only get 20 minutes for lunch, so that's why I get my honey bun. I buy a hot dog and I eat it in my car. I love Swiss rolls. I love Debbie cakes and hoo-hahs, baby.
Starting point is 00:10:37 I love honey buns. Just enough time for my lunch break. It's enough time for my lunch break. It's tacos day. Tacos day. Tacos day. It's tacos day. Tacos day. Queso, yeah. Get me some tacos day. God damn it. taco's day queso yay
Starting point is 00:11:05 get me some taco's day god damn it jesus christ oh my god the man for whatever reason fucking the Led Zeppelin one is still making me laugh I like food. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:28 So stupid, dude. Oh, my God. I can't. Gravy, gravy, gravy, gravy. Oh, fuck John Bonham. That was a drummer. Which one was the one that had sex with children? That was you, I think.
Starting point is 00:11:50 No, don't even try. No, I wasn't in Led Zeppelin. You sick fuck. Robert Plant, maybe? Jimmy Page? Because I'm Eating Cheese Yummy Food
Starting point is 00:12:07 Did I already do that one I think No we did Back in Black I think I did I think I did I think that was Like the first one
Starting point is 00:12:15 I did was Eating food Or something Can't believe Can't believe I did some of the Same material over Right
Starting point is 00:12:23 Wow Wow Wow That's a new low Uh huh Can't believe I did some of the same material over. Right. Wow. Wow. Wow, that's a new low. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Oh my god man Fuck I wish you would hand me That cheese wedge my friend And we could Yum yum yum yum yum Would you put your snacks away with you? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Oh, fuck. Man. Could you put your snacks away with you? Hand me that cheese wedge, my friend. You could. And we're all just eating nachos. That's it. It's all you get.
Starting point is 00:13:56 And I forget my cakes and snacks and food and chips for me. Found it hard. It's hard to chew on my snacks. Mmm, it's good. Hello. Munch on, munch on food and it is good. He's completely abandoned
Starting point is 00:14:18 the melody. Snacks for me and you, it's yum. Oh my god. Oh, fuck. The cheese. The cheese. What song is that? Barracuda.
Starting point is 00:14:39 Cheese. Cheese. They don't say anything in that part, but it's the note of the guitar I would say cheese. Yeah, oh yeah, the harmonic part. Yeah, yeah. Eating some cheese with my friend. And she's taking the drive-thru to Wendy's Jimmy I don't think that lyrics gonna work
Starting point is 00:15:13 we want to do something you know like wizardy and like spiritual right right I was thinking like maybe something along the lines of like and she's taking the drive-thru to Wendy's. And she's taking the drive-thru to Wendy's. It's like all dramatic.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Then they're like, What the fuck did you just say? She's had a long day. She gets in the car. She goes to Wendy's. This song's called Stairway to Heaven, man. Right, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Starting point is 00:15:53 And she's taking the drive-thru to Burger King. Again, Jim, you're kind of missing the point here. Sorry, one more time. Thank you for Taco Bell. I was hungry. Pleased to meet you.
Starting point is 00:16:24 Oh, no. It's pleased to eat you. Such a yummy snack. Snack. You can always eat what you want. Oh, my God. Oh my god I can't get no Big Mac Burger
Starting point is 00:16:52 You like that? We're like googling Famous rock and roll songs We're so fucking washed. That's awesome. It's not washed. Here comes burger. Here comes burger.
Starting point is 00:17:15 And I say, it's with fries. It's with fries. Okay. Hey, soup. Don't cool down now. Take a spoon and get yourself a bite. Tomato and potato and beef, too.
Starting point is 00:17:43 It makes us two. And it is wetter, wetter, wetter, wetter, wetter than regular food. Oh, come on, baby, now. Give me some food. Twist and boost. Twist and boost. Twist and boost. Twist and boost. My stomach hurts. Are you shaking the baby?
Starting point is 00:18:41 No. There will be a burger. Lettuce cheese. There will be a burger lettuce cheese Lettuce cheese lettuce cheese lettuce cheese lettuce There will be a burger lettuce cheese lettuce cheese there will be a burger lettuce cheese like going up to McDonald's and ordering like that McDonald's can't be ordered
Starting point is 00:19:15 lettuce cheese lettuce cheese lettuce cheese lettuce cheese hey what run that back by me one more time a burger with sauce lettuce cheese this is like fucking 900 bullets come to the side of your car
Starting point is 00:19:57 so stupid dude your car also the hardest i've laughed on an episode in a long time oh my god i'm trying to think of the best words right now. Maybe recency bias, but twisted food and lettuce cheese are both pretty good. I like twisted food for sure. Because it takes balls to go with twisted food from twisted chow. You have to make a big creative leap to do a lot of work there. Oh, God damn it. Oh, God. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:20:41 Wow, that was a good 20 minutes. Incredible. Maybe we have more. No, you didn't even hear that. That was good. Let's see. Might as well munch. Cheese. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Cheese on the burger. There's lettuce and there's fries. Okay, but it's the smoke on the water. Okay. Very good. Oh, God damn it. Is Taco Bell closed? I must leave my...
Starting point is 00:21:26 Is Taco Bell closed? The boys are back in food. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun when it all works out, but when it's just food, you just throw that in there somewhere. The food... The food are back in town. out the way it's just throw that in there somewhere the food makes the food
Starting point is 00:21:46 or back in town food with friends makes his lunch on a hill in the early day Lexus food in his mouth. Oh, my God. Damn it. Oh, my God. What else do we got? What else? S got? Ugh. What else? Salsa that's mild.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Mild. I took my grub and I ate it good. Got a drink and it was pretty cold. How does it feel To be without a food Man, that sucks. That's so bad. To be without food. That's up there with
Starting point is 00:23:20 twisted food. It's, uh, goddammit. Goddammit. Okay. Wow. See, we did my whole march. Ready to gnaw. Ready to gnaw.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Let's see. I think the last time we did this, I think we already did Breaking the Law, which was, I think, eating some lunch. Yeah. Let me see. I think I might have one cooking here. Yeah. You know, I will say this is the hardest I've laughed in a long time. Yeah, it's great.
Starting point is 00:24:20 It's probably a good sign. All right. Jesus Christ. it's great. Oh, it's probably a good sign. Ah, Jesus Christ. Let's wait. All right. Okay. I'm ready for you.
Starting point is 00:24:37 I'm waiting on your, on your go. God, it's going to be so good. I'm definitely not even stalling Because my idea definitely did not work Let's see How do we get back to this
Starting point is 00:24:51 Ready for lunch Soup pie Ready for lunch You can tell by the way I go to lunch That I'm very hungry when I eat my pies Ready for candy Ready for worms And I'm ready for snacks.
Starting point is 00:25:06 And I eat with my friends. Finished with my Crunchwrap because it tasted really good. Finished with my Crunchwrap because it tasted good and it was very yum. People think that I am hungry because I am eating all the time. Can you feed me? I'm having tasty food and some tasty snacks. I'm having tasty food and some tasty snacks. Make a lunch and I will eat.
Starting point is 00:25:50 Then you will smile and I will munch. Hungriness I cannot feel. And food to me is so unreal. Can you feed me? Can you feed me? I just want to eat my food tonight. Toast is on a vacation. I'm with it. I eat toast with my mother. I'm just Googling like 1982.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Like the best songs. Eating soup with my grandma, please. She eats it cold because she's old. Get out of here. I don't mind you much in here. And eating all my food. Oh, I guess I was just eating. Oh, no, wait.
Starting point is 00:27:03 I guess you're just what I eat it. I needed something to eat. I guess you're just what I eat it. Yes. More food. More food. Eat it in the kitchen. More food. And food. Eat it in the kitchen. More food.
Starting point is 00:27:27 And snacks. Yummy snacks. I'm just a crunch wrap. Nobody munch me. He's just a crunch wrap from a Taco Bell. They're increasingly getting more incoherent as time goes on. Spare Emma's life from being my lunch. Diablo sauce, yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy.
Starting point is 00:27:54 God damn it. It's so bad. This is so stupid, dude. Well, the only thing we can really do is continue doing this for the rest of the year. Yeah, what are we, 25 minutes in? Yeah. We're about halfway through. That's okay.
Starting point is 00:28:08 This is what it sounds like when I eat food. Yum, yum, yum, yum. Last munch of lemon pie. Eat it good, it's yummy time. Yeah, yeah Now you may say Where did lemon pie fit into the rhyme scheme? It's not important
Starting point is 00:28:31 It's just a food I thought of That wasn't cheese or a crunch wrap When french fries I've become Eating some yum I've become eating some yum Oh my god Hello hello
Starting point is 00:28:58 Is there anybody hungry? Is there anybody starving? Are you looking for lunch? Is there anybody hungry? Is there anybody starving? Are you looking for lunch? Hello! Making some pie with my friends we're using the oven. Eating some lunch and some pie because that's what we do. I want to eat fish food all of the time. Eating snacks and eating yogurt.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Hanging with my friend Thomas. Yummy. Yummy. I think I just got gotta get back to basics Twisting food Lettuce and cheese Lettuce and cheese I'm gonna bite them off
Starting point is 00:29:58 A seven nation army couldn't eat my snack Yeah I'm gonna eat it all oh now we're going to the mid-2000s mid-2000s yeah we can and we'll all eat soup all right eat yummy with soup and bread it's good i get knocked down but I eat lunch again Then never God damn it I don't know if I can keep doing this another half an hour I guess I can just power through You can do it forever if you want to Jake
Starting point is 00:30:35 We can do it We can do it till our girlfriends leave us I can just I go outside after an hour and she's gone. The apartment is empty. Protein. Protein. Protein. Protein. Protein.
Starting point is 00:30:54 I love to eat the food that has protein. This isn't even a show at all. I mean, it is because people listen to it. Oh, protein. Protein. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Top songs. Ben, eating some food and snacks, please. They're very yummy. Eating some food in my car. Eating chicken. Eating a rotisserie chicken from AGB before I go back to my job, which is I work in a restaurant with my friend. Do-do-loop-boop-do.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Another one bites of lunch. Do-do-loop-boop-do. Another one bites of lunch. How do you like that one? That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Or how about this one? Instead of I want to break free, I want to eat cheese.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Won't somebody find me? Yummy's too much. That was good. Thanks, buddy. Super surprising you hit that note there. I don't think it was close. I think maybe I was about two hours off. I'll take it.
Starting point is 00:32:09 That's okay. Won't somebody find me? That's pretty close. Yeah. Something to lunch. Something to lunch. Somebody to lunch. to lunch.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Somebody to lunch. And people say, what genre will you pick next? Maybe 20s blues. What's food got to do with it? Alright. Eating some cheese and I'm eating some burgers now. A young fella eats lunch in his house.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Thank you for letting me eat my lunch again. God damn it. God damn it. Oh, man. Thank you for letting me eat my lunch, it's pretty good. Thank you for letting me eat my lunch.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Our lunch, it is what we like to eat, our lunch. Very yum yum treats. Our lunch. It is what we like to eat. Our lunch. Very yum yum treats. Well, you can't tell by the way I eat my food. I'm a yummy man. No time for goop. I literally just did that like ten minutes ago. Well, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:33:40 She ate some snacks. Yummy. More than a sandwich. At the grocery store. She had yogurt cheese. More than a sandwich. The kind you find at the grocery store. She had yogurt, cheese. More than a sandwich. More than a sandwich to me. Oh, yeah, that's good. That's good.
Starting point is 00:33:58 I can't do the, what's the verse? Something about my lunch is good. When I eat lunch and two anyway I can't find it top songs 1992 rock songs let's see
Starting point is 00:34:22 of course all apologies, Nirvana. Let's see. Hey! Wait, wait. Ice cream, ice cream. We know how to scoop it. You like that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:38 I'll do anything for grub. But I won't eat snacks. That's not bad. Mm-hmm. Mr. Food and me eating food with my friends. for grub, but I won't eat snacks. That's not bad. Mr. Food and me eating food with my friends. Mr. Bones Chicken. They're not coming to me naturally anymore. Ice cream is my muncher.
Starting point is 00:35:12 I'm just a boy who likes to eat a big treat. And that is not meat. Mr. Food and Treats Brings me food and treats Oh wait, let me I'm gonna go
Starting point is 00:35:35 Hey, wait My lunch is really late Hey Alright Alright Alright, let's hear it Hey Alright Alright Alright let's hear it How about instead of Hey 19
Starting point is 00:35:53 Hey Ice Cream Okay Alright Hey Ice Cream Oh please don't melt Quiet Let's see Hey, ice cream. Oh, please don't melt quite yet. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:36:10 I wanted to test that one out on you to see how that would work. Okay, yeah. It was great. It was awesome. I'm glad I took the bullet for that one. Glad I took the heat on that one. Let's see. Reel it in the years.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Are you eating all your snacks? Are you drinking all the beers? See, but then That's kind of what the song is about anyway Basically Right, yeah So massive, yeah Are you Are you
Starting point is 00:36:44 Are you munching yummy? Well, you know, we can, I don't know. I don't want to do too many of the food things. We don't want to wear that out. We could do. Are you eating all the poop? Yeah, that's how it started. Licking up all the pee?
Starting point is 00:37:11 Are you changing my diaper will you change mine for me are you being a big baby do you have your baby teeth yep are you little baby muncher Running on your baby feet This is sort of more like if Steely Dan Were deranged criminals This is my take on Steely Dan This is like if Steely Dan was in a psychotic episode. If Steely Dan had done several hours of podcasting. Up next is my new song, Ricky Don't Lose That Suckler.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Just kidding. Ricky don't lose that... You told me you had a Doobie Brothers parody called Black Daughter. I don't know what... I don't know what you were planning on that one. But I figured I'd let you do it. Everybody! Everybody!
Starting point is 00:38:18 Everybody! What a fool believes! That's just the song. Yeah. What a fool believes That's just the song. Yeah. What a good song. That is a really great song. I love that one. What a scoop of cheese
Starting point is 00:38:35 For me It's yummy I have brothers General facts about your life. They are not gay. Great. That's awesome, man. That is just true.
Starting point is 00:38:55 Thank you for coming to the audition for Landmine. We're putting it back up on Broadway. What will you be singing for us today? I'll be singing Well it's a bit It's a bit of a classic It's you know Minute by minute
Starting point is 00:39:15 Michael McDonald I'll be singing Cheese it by cheese it Oh cheese it By cheese it By cheese it By cheese it by cheese it by cheese it by cheese it I've been munching on I've been munching on
Starting point is 00:39:31 cheese it by cheese it by cheese it by cheese it I keep munching on we do a little crooning some little Frank Sinatra's that's life that's knife I use it to cut my steak in some of those little Frank Sinatra's That's Life. That's knife. I use it to cut my steak.
Starting point is 00:39:51 Somewhere where there is cheese I'm there wanting some please. Start spreading the jelly. I'm eating today. I want to be a great big bite of it.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Food. Ain't that a lick on the spoon? Yeah, that's pretty good. Ain't that a lick of my spoon? That's rice. I'd like to try it. One day you're eating rice. The next you buy it.
Starting point is 00:40:36 And I know I'm gonna boil it soon. And I'll make popcorn. And I'll eat popcorn. And I'll eat it with a spoon. That's rice.
Starting point is 00:40:51 That's rice. It's what all the people eat. It can be spicy or it can be sweet. And I know I'm gonna make it good when I add some spice
Starting point is 00:41:11 and I add some food. We're back. We're back, baby. We're so back. It took us about 13 minutes since twisting food and lettuce cheese, but, man, I'm glad you stuck with us. Hey, I knew we'd get back around to it.
Starting point is 00:41:30 You can't just let it die because it's been dead. You know what I mean? Yeah, you've got to really keep beating a horse until it's only dead for life. Say, that's rice. That's rice. It belongs in a bowl of food. And if you don't like it, you're not my kind of dude. I've been a chef, a pirate, a cooker, an assistant chef, and I've made lots of meat. Ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:42:07 Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Oh, God damn it.
Starting point is 00:42:22 Ice cream on the spoon. It tastes good. it is a treat yum yum yum dessert for a little boy like me to eat in other words eat the food. In other words, please get sprinkles. Although it's been said many times, many ways, here's some food for you. Very good.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Baking some meat. Yes, sir. Buck around. Oh, wow. Man, man, my stomach hurt. Yeah, sometimes you need to. Tall and tan and young and yummy. The ice cream on my cone I'm munching.
Starting point is 00:43:26 And when I eat it each bite I eat it go. Yum. You like that? Ow! I eat food. Banana, banana. Grab! I eat food I knew that I would now
Starting point is 00:43:50 And I think to myself What a wonderful food I see peas are green. Red food too. I like forks. I love spurs. And I think to myself What a wonderful fool
Starting point is 00:44:28 And I think to myself What a wonderful fool That sounds so ugly in the cans. It sounds so nasty. Oh my god. Wow. It sounds so nasty Oh my god Wow Why'd you have to go and make food And put it on plates yeah I can't do Avril Lavigne
Starting point is 00:45:01 Man What a wonderful food I can't do Avril Lavigne. Man, man, what a wonderful food was awesome. Wow. It's very funny that, like, we try to deviate off course, and then we get back to it by just throwing food in there. Yeah. I eat food, na-na-na-na-na-na-na, great. Twisting food, classic. What a wonderful food. Great. Twisting food. Classic.
Starting point is 00:45:28 What a wonderful food. Incredible. What a wonderful food. And I eat to myself. I can't believe it. Hey, what did you do on Monday, man? Oh, I talked to my friend on the computer. And for about an hour, we just said twisting food to each other and laughed really hard. And it was about the end of that.
Starting point is 00:46:01 Wow, man. Oh, God. Man. Well, what a time. What a time to be alive. And you know what? We've got 15 minutes. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:46:16 I don't know. You know, some people could say, wow, I can't believe you did that for 20. There is a food in New Orleans. They call the guys Big Lunch. It has been the ruin of many a poor boy. And God God I know it's lunch my daddy was
Starting point is 00:46:55 a sandwich man my mama was spaghetti My mama was spaghetti. Oh, my God, dude. You really sang that motherfucker That was very believable
Starting point is 00:47:29 There was a lot of pain in that one Well my lunch it makes impressions On the inside of my stomach On the good sip of my Sprite My soda makes impressions When I sip a of my Sprite. My soda makes impressions when I sip a good my Sprite. There are little tiny bubbles when I drink the soda right. Yeah, there we go fuck
Starting point is 00:48:08 if I knew my soda fizzes that I would have came fuck thirsty god damn it I'm losing it if I knew you were a burger then I wouldn't have have you were a burger then I wouldn't have it have it back to the sip of such a soda
Starting point is 00:48:31 and it's cola and it's good eat the food and drink taste it like it's food till it like it's lunch till it starts to stink And then you cannot much. Tell me that your love runs food. I was waiting for it. Tell me that your love runs food. And I can always count on food. To be there when the hunger strikes. I'll cook. Be there when the hunger strikes. I'll cook a nice burger just to feed you tonight. Oh, there we go.
Starting point is 00:49:32 Yeah, yeah, there we go. Between the whispering food. God damn it. God. Early in the morning when I eat my fries Early in the morning when I eat my fries Slice When I wake up for my morning lunch And the sunlight hits my fries
Starting point is 00:50:10 This food is the greatest Food I ever munched Can't wait to eat food It's my lunch Grandma's food Clap your church on Sunday morning. You don't have to call me food. You can grab your own plate.
Starting point is 00:50:37 Yep. Yeah, I like that one. Lunch only happens when you're hungry. And he's hungry like the food. Yeah, okay, that's good. That's perfectly fine with me. I have no problem with that at all. And he's hungry for some food.
Starting point is 00:51:06 Say it loud. I'm's hungry for some food. Say it loud. I'm black and I'm food. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Oh, man. Wow, that's awesome. Keep eating, eating, eating, eating food. Eating, eating, eating, eating food.
Starting point is 00:51:35 I'm hungry now. Yeah, okay. I'll take that. I'm hungry now I need some lunch to go And some fries you know Grab a plate and knife It's food
Starting point is 00:51:57 It's fun to eat at the food place. It's good. Burgers and the fries. Yeah, I'll tell. Yeah, okay. Hey, kid. Want to eat some cheddar? Eat some cheddar on a burger that you got from the store.
Starting point is 00:52:22 Eat a crunchy burger and you'll have some food. It is funny when you try to sell it. Eat a crunchy burger and have some lunch. Oh my god. Oh wow. Man, that was some good stuff. I can't leave food alone.
Starting point is 00:52:54 Oh, yeah. You got me. What a food could eat. You should have said that. What a food could eat. Yeah, that's good. Oh, man. What a food could eat Yeah that's good Oh man Just cheese You have it with some butter
Starting point is 00:53:11 And maybe some toast I'm the man Who eats lunch Eat it with my fork Let's see here Instead of Rich Girl by Hall & Oates You're spaghetti And you're on my fork
Starting point is 00:53:34 But you never never stay on my fork You can try to stay on my fork You can try to stay on my fork But you're It's hard to because you swirl right off and you go right back on my plate so mine won't get you too far so sauce the sauce won't get you too far that's all the sauce i won't get you too far back on my plate. Man, that is something else, brother.
Starting point is 00:54:18 Because there ain't no eating snacks, girl. Ain't no sandwich when she's gone food ain't no corn when she's away when she's a plate let's see what are some good system of a down I don't know any I can't Why don't you eat the food That is on your plate Not great We're thinking
Starting point is 00:54:57 We're cooking You Cook me all night food That's all right. Yeah, I think we're coming up on literally how much our brains are willing to let us do this. We're coming right at an hour. Legitimately, I try to come up with something else. It's like I get a blue screen or like the turny rainbow wheel on a Mac.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Fried some ham for you. It's good. I'm trying to take different answers. I want to munch you like a plate of food. Okay. I think if that had happened earlier, it really would have taken it home. I want to munch you like a plate of food.
Starting point is 00:55:42 It's very good. Let's eat croutons Instead of let's get Terrible pie That's a pretty obscure Nine Inch Nails song I don't think that's No one's gonna get that one Alright Eating pie with me
Starting point is 00:55:56 Smells like Smells like green beans. Smells like green beans. Yeah, I like that one. Thanks, buddy. It means a lot. I can't stand it! I want a sandwich!
Starting point is 00:56:19 I want a sandwich! eat on a plate this food to make well eat some munchies and i have some fries so yummy and it's in my eyes i can't stand it i want a sandwich is pretty awesome that got me pretty good. Oh, man. Wow. Wow. I want a lunch plate, some fries. What's that one?
Starting point is 00:57:01 I want it that way. Oh, okay. Okay, nice. All right. Crunchy fries, big burger, and a large Sprite. Crunchy fries, big burger, and a large Sprite. Eat it right. I want to eat it with my friends.
Starting point is 00:57:25 Burger and large fry. Eat on cheese when you're hungry. And you want some food. We all need some food to eat on. This is definitely something to think about. This whole episode is really food for thought, no pun intended. I'm honestly proud of us. I don't know if anyone else will listen to this,
Starting point is 00:58:04 but this has been some of the hardest I've laughed in almost three years of doing this show. We did it for an hour. When I saw it at the 15-minute mark, dude, I was like, okay, this is enough. Then we hit a stride with Twist and Food. Then I think you did
Starting point is 00:58:20 a finish with my... That one was pretty good. Then lettuce cheese, of course. Can't forget it. Yeah, in the morning, neither of us will remember ever doing this episode, I don't think. Yeah, it will be like just a gray block in my mind. Sunday morning, food is calling. Eat some mustard, eat some cheese.
Starting point is 00:58:44 Thanks. Wait. some cheese. Thanks. Wait. Room 5. You know Panama? Yeah, yeah. Of course I know Panama. Eating lunch. Eating lunch.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Yeah. Cold slaw. Cold slaw. Yeah. Yeah, that's good too. That's another good... Unchained is probably my favorite Van Halen song. But that's not as popular. We already did Might As Well Munch. I'm sorry, Miss Jackson.
Starting point is 00:59:36 I need four meals. Never meant to steal your French fries. I apologize for stealing fries. So I type a text to some food I like to eat. So in that, I chose this piece of pie that looked really neat. I apologize if my lunch makes you frown. No burger, no fry.
Starting point is 01:00:02 Very good, very good. No burger, no fry. Very good, very good. No burger, no fry. One food, one rice. Wing stop, I'm eating. In every single season. Wing stop, I'm eating. Yep. season Wingstop. I'm eating it. Yep.
Starting point is 01:00:30 Yeah. Oh, I have brown-eyed food. Brown-eyed food. God damn it. Why is that that funny? Oh, my brown-eyed fool. Oh, I heard it through the grapefruit. I love that one.
Starting point is 01:00:53 I've heard it through the grapefruit. Do you remember when we used to eat? Heard it through the grapefruit is an unsung gem. That's a good one. I heard it through a grapefruit as an unsung gem. That's a good one. At last, my food has come home. Yep, okay.
Starting point is 01:01:17 Strange food. Yeah, I like that. Hang it. And it's tasty, tree. Food rules everything around me frame. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Tacos, eat them with the ground beef.
Starting point is 01:01:41 But then I don't know what that would stand for. I don't drink water. I eat good food Tom Ford Tom Ford Tom Food Oh god damn it I eat Cheez-Its And she doesn't learn a lot from food
Starting point is 01:02:00 And I Will always love food Yeah very good Did you get that one already Food. And I will always love food. Yeah, very good. Did you get that one already? Bound to eating some food. Yum, yum, honey. Not bad.
Starting point is 01:02:19 I'll take it. I already did. Hey, food. That one already happened Yeah yeah That's okay Let's see what else we got I'm trying to think of more
Starting point is 01:02:32 Kanye classics Kanye classics I'm eating gum through my food Damn it. I got my foodies in Paris. And we eating pancakies. Let's see. My favorite album is the College Dropout.
Starting point is 01:02:57 Let me see if I remember how many of these songs. Oh, my favorite Kanye album. That's my favorite album of all time. Definitely. Let's see. Track list. I don't remember. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:09 When we eat our food. Jesus walks. New workout plan is good. Okay. Hmm. You know what I think it's time for You'll be eating pickle dill You'll be eating lots of food
Starting point is 01:03:30 You'll be Doing it for sure What were you thinking I was thinking maybe Maybe we put a We put our Stamp on it Really We both get one last one Maybe we put a stamp on it.
Starting point is 01:03:45 Really? We both get one last one. Okay. Go ahead. We're going to drink some Sprite. Okay, that's actually pretty good. Let me see here. uh... c here if you had
Starting point is 01:04:09 one shot uh...

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