Pendejo Time - go fund me for tom

Episode Date: January 6, 2022

thomas is sick as fuck and dying soon. due to his rough and tumble nature he doesn't go to the doctor or take medicine really. pay your respects to the big man. Support the Show.

we're back we're back we're back motherfuckers um welcome to the new year welcome to i guess the last one we did the premium was the new year i don't know man uh that's what it is what it is you know yeah man don't fuck this up for me please welcome to the first uh free episode of the new year all you cheap motherfuckers yeah all you guys that basically you know all you chosen by god ones who pay for the premiums um and deserve to have your dick sucked a million times every day yeah welcome to the second episode of padeo time and the greatest year of all time i believe 2022 year of our lord ad dude it's gonna i'm so excited for the same things to happen look this is like you're being real negative right now it's not even dude honestly

2021 was a solid year for me i'm not gonna i'm not gonna fiddle around 2020 and 2021 were not bad for me so hey you know if 2022 you know we can just keep that bar there 2019 can kiss my ass yeah that was a tough one that was a tough one

and you know the years before that I don't like 2020 for being the same number I like going down the list I'm like 2019 was bad Years before that were also... I don't like 2020 for being the same number. You know? I like going down the list. I'm like, 2019 was bad. 2018 was really, really dog shit. 2017... Dude, 2005...

Dude. Home school, kindergarten was rough, man. Yeah, fuck. The, you know, 2016 was not bad. 22 was a solid year. 2013 was fun. I was in middle school 22 was a solid year. 2013 was fun. I was in middle school, so, you know. Unrelated.

I have to, like, I think we talked about this outside of the show. I, like, I hate when people do this shit to me where I'm like, hey, man, how you doing? And they're like, ah, you know. You know, I mean, you know, this is what, like, clearly, like, hey, man, I don't, I don't, I didn't. You're just so say good, you know I mean you know this is what like clearly like hey man I don't I don't I didn't you're just so say good you know you're just supposed to say it's good uh one of the other coaches at 10th planet was like hey man how you doing bro I was like I'm alive I guess that's what I came out like I don't know why I chose that option in the dialogue wheel but he was like uh right you know like which is the appropriate

response like I don't know like I don't I don't want to talk to anybody I've just been you know fucking dude you're just an emo bad boy dude that's true and that's why you know that's all my all the good things in my life coming from me being sort of like a like a like

Spider-Man 3 Tobey Maguire. Yeah. You're like the devilish gangster. And me, I'm like the lovable boy next door. I did a job interview and they're like, just, all right, last question. This has gone really great. Two words to describe you. Like, what do you mean?

Like, just two words don't think too hard about it just right off the top of your head oh i guess i'm like a devilish gangster sort of like you know like a like a sly bad boy i guess you know more like a i'm pretty much like a i'm like a spiritual jock i'm kind of like a sinister Just like a sinister Hip hop guru You know I'm just something Sort of like a twisted I'm kind of a doom core metal slut with a taste for danger

Like two words sir They're hitting the security button I was the fucking Some of the like terms like I think doomers like did I don't know it's just I think I used it the other day and you were like what did you just say

but it is like bro are you for real cooming right now dude it really sounds like you like you just got like yeah I'm all good you just stood in a field of like fucking pollen just no i'm all good a lot of people i know are saying that i look and sound better than i ever have people are saying this is a new this is a brand new time for thomas. You're like, you answered, I thought the lights were too bright in your room or something,

but you're like squinting when you answered. I was like, oh, what the fuck? Sometimes it's cool when your eyes are swollen. Yeah, that's true. And your whole face is puffy and fucked up looking. You know, it's the new chic. It's like shabby chic, you know, where moms will get old furniture and, like, repaint it but scratch off some of the paint. I'm doing that for, like, all my organs.

Oh, you're resurfacing your liver and stuff like that. Yeah. That's not a bad idea. Yeah, but, like, with mucus and, like, bile. Yeah. I always thought bile was, like, with mucus and, like, bile. Yeah. I always thought bile was, like, came from a swamp or something. It comes from inside your body. Yeah, but, like, as a kid, you know, you hear bile and you're like, ugh, gross.

I, uh, the first time I got drunk, I think I was nine. time i got drunk uh i think i was nine and i uh and i threw up like the the the wine cooler the arbor mist or whatever the fuck it was called and uh after that i was throwing up like green liquid and i didn't know what bile was and i was oh yeah i'm dying like i was i told my dad i was like i doubt i had one drink and i'm gonna die you, I told my dad, I was like, Dad, I had one drink and I'm going to die. You gave me one, you know. And he was like, you know, that's just, it just lives in your stomach. It gets rid of the bad stuff. And I was like, I wasn't comprehending any of that.

I just assumed I overdosed and I was going to die. But, you know, it was just a glass of strawberry, strawberry fresh Arbor Mist wine cooler uh quite tasty strawberry wine nine years old stuff like that you know yeah yeah stuff like that you know did you ever uh i guess i don't know what like like the high school you went to you said the shabby chic it reminded me of like when I was doing like community theater and stuff uh there was also like a dance studio next to the thing and more so than like I've known moms who put their fucking little girls in pageants like when I was in junior high in high school there was a pageant here called Miss Sylvan Beach and the moms who put their fucking dogs and shit are psychopaths but dance moms are like a different breed entirely like they are

without a doubt i think more so than like ex-military hard-ass dads or like cool dads like cool like in terms of parent loadout dance moms are the fucking worst because they like, they're like, my daughter is on the baton team. And there's like this, they're all, by the way, they're all like, they have the Bob haircut. Yeah. And they all weigh, you know, they have a BMI like 49 or some shit. And there's like a, I don't know if it's like a South, a Southern thing, but it seems like, maybe it's everywhere. I don't fucking know. But it seems like there's this fundamental, like, evil that radiates off these women.

They are like the absolute, like, bane of my existence. I don't know why. Maybe you hate creativity and hustle. I think I just hate old, just any old fat white woman. Just shut it down. Oh, yeah, it's good you said white. Oh, thank God. Jake's making fun of fat white women, you know.

I feel like if you put white women in front of anything, like if you're just, it's like, oh, like you're like, I just hate women. If you were to say, oh, I hate women, it's like, okay, well, that's tough. You can't say stuff like that. Yeah, Jake's like, why are fat white ladies so loud at the grocery store? Why do fat white ladies take so long in line at HEB? Why are they on their phone on speaker?

I'm tired of seeing all these damn white women at the movies, you know. Because that's how you know it's going to be annoying. With their phone screen on the brightest setting and they're texting and talking the whole movie. I'm going to get off that. We can keep rolling with it. Yeah, we can keep going. Fat Asian women. Those are actually, you know what, I don't even think.

There might be two of them in the world. Yeah, there might be two. I Asian women. Those are actually, you know what? I don't even think. There might be two of them in the world. Yeah, there might be two. I just realized. I don't know. They don't let Asian women. I don't know. I don't. I think they just snatch the bowl out of their hands.

I'm trying. I'm sorry. I'm trying. I don't think I've ever met a fat Asian woman. I don't think so either, man. I can't. My mind's just a fat Asian woman. I don't think so either, man. I can't. My mind's just drawing a blank cube. Like a black.

It's just a black screen in my mind's eye. I've met like slightly chubby. Asian guys. But not like. You know. Yeah, yeah. Not that there aren't. But you know.

It's just such a lower rate. Well fat men aren't fat. You know. fat men are just just guys you know you know what i'm saying man yeah i wanted uh what i wanted to do something. I wanted to get like a, I don't know, dude. I don't know what I'm saying.

Why aren't you wearing a shirt, man? That's my thing. Oh, dude, like I said, I took two Sudafed early, like early in the fucking day, and I had a shit ton of espresso, and I started freaking the fuck out, and then I went to the gym and had another caffeinated beverage. I was at the gym for like two hours and I worked out really hard. And then I came home and made dinner and I was pouring sweat still. Like after my shower.

And I was sitting here waiting for you to call me. And I was just like, I was freaking the fuck out. I was overheating. So, I don't know, my blood pressure's up. Well, it also could have something to do with, I'll do two hours of hard cardio. Fucking hard. Sparring, pads, bag, push-ups, shit. and then i'll come home and i'll fucking rip this because i haven't had nicotine in two hours so my body's panicking because it's like something

is fundamentally wrong here and i will rip the fuck out of this like way too much basically negate what i just did yeah you know lung capacity well you need to get off that nicotine stuff because it's really bad for your lungs yeah how is how are you doing on it uh i you've cut down but i won't say i'm like i'm not like uh being like consistent you know i'll do like right a week where i'm like just, really annoying and not doing it much. And then I'll randomly, like, start smoking cigarettes. And I'm like, what? You're not addicted to cigarettes, man.

Yeah. Stop doing that. And then I'll, like, just fucking rip Nick, like, constantly. I was smoking those spirits you left here, and I went out. I was smoking them pretty consistently. And consistently insofar as I'd have, like, two a a week which is insane for me because I just wasn't smoking and then uh I went out to have one today and they were gone and I think my mom threw them away she was like you're smoking again and I was like Thomas left these mom I just she's like hit your vape don't smoke and I'm like mom this is definitely worse like this is so it's I'm burning, Mom, this is definitely worse. Like, this is so, it's, I'm burning hot metal and, like, Chinese cotton.

You think Chinese cotton is better? No, I think it's worse. Like, vaping is, I really think this is worse. I think it's worse than having, like, a cigarette a day. I wonder who asked to pick the cotton over there. The Uyghurs? Yeah, that's what I was leading you on Yeah, you think so?

You think that that's the way they fucking do it over there, man? Do they grow cotton there? I don't think the soil is right Child, child, child It's not dry enough China's a big fucking place, man I feel like they got places where you What's the point of growing cotton there?

I don't know, it's the big It's a big fucking place. They got silk in China. They got other shit too. They got fucking rice. I mean, I get, you know,

they got all sorts of stuff. They do, they do, man. They have the good rice. They do. Congratulations. And they,

they, they raise pigs as well. They do be raising pigs. I read an article about how due to the middle class growing in China, they've got a little bit more spending money in general. So pork consumption is just skyrocketing there. It's kind of a delicacy for them.

Yeah. um so they uh like experts are like trying to figure out like how to make that many more pigs and like what that's gonna do for the planet because it's like yeah it's like a lot of people who are starting to eat more pork that there's this uh anytime you see an article about something good in china there's always like four letters four words that like it'll be an article and it'll be like china uh with the belt and road initiative has caused the middle class to expand boom and property ownership is up you know like insane amounts since the cultural revolution but at what cost or you know like china the state's providing free fucking blow jobs and hand jobs at every corner store but at what cost? Or, you know, like China, the state's providing free fucking blowjobs and handjobs at every corner store.

But at what cost? It's always that, those four words. But at what cost? And the cost is always like, you can't like, I don't know, like you can't say fuck you to the, I don't know, like you can't be like, eh, shit sucks here. I mean, I don't know, maybe you can't. I don't know really all that much about China, but I think it's funny. Dude, we should do a Chinese tour. Dude, I do want to go to the Orient, which I told you.

No, I mean, we should do it in, like, Louisiana, but just speak Chinese. Man, that would rock. I don't even think. Being in, like, Baton Rouge and being like, something to walk. You know, like. I want to do a show where there's zero people other than us two. Even our girlfriends won't go to it.

And the most unhinged swamp person who's just there. Because it's like, yeah, something to do on a Wednesday. I came here down on a seat, I heard of the show. I'm not trying to do like a voice or anything. Here's the thing.

I think Mandarin and Canton, I think it sounds cool. And so I try to approximate it. And I know I don't get close. Obviously, I think it's culturally insensitive to be like bing bong. But I think it's cool. Hey, you could disagree with me. I'm sure many people do. But I think it's cool when you're in traffic to not know any Chinese, but to be like, you know, I think that's fine to do.

I was in a I had a I was in a bit of a tiff the other day. Tell me about that with some friends. bit of a tiff uh the other day tell me about that with some friends and by the way this is a friend group of all white people and one mexican is my was this friend group specifically and uh my friend who's mexican was like you know hey like when y'all are rapping like in your car like you're hearing like you're vibing like you know like do you say the n-word and you know like one of my friends is like nah man i just like don't and he's like so do you just if you're like you know she don't cop from me she get it from you just pause up the street like do you just not he was like yeah i just like take a breath and i don't know why to me that's like way more like

stupid and like weird than to just say it. To be like, I'll be at the, you know, and me and my, we, it's just, it's fucking weird to like, I don't know. And so I was, I was making an argument. I was like, look, if I'm in my car, okay, nobody's in the car with me. And we're just, I'm fucking vibing in traffic. I'm listening to Freddie or Zero or whoever the fuck. Okay. Who, I'm in the car by myself. I'm listening to Freddie or Zero or whoever the fuck. Okay? Who?

I'm in the car by myself. What am I going to do? I like the idea that you listen to too much Freddie Gibbs and you can only say the N-word in his voice now. Yeah. It's like I have Zero and Freddie and then, like, I don't know, MF Doom. I don't even, I mean, he doesn't drop them that much. Are you rapping along to MF Doom?

No, no. I was revisiting that Moon Food album, me he doesn't drop him that are you are you rapping along to mf do no no i've been i was revisiting that moon food album and so he was the person who came with my mind just now but i was you're just like you're vibing but you're just reciting like yeah like really annoyingly complex yeah yeah yeah yeah fucking wordplay erroneous felony yeah fuck it no i was like i genuinely i was just i was like making the argument i was like if you say it like if you like if you let one rip like do you start like flagellating yourself like do you fucking like no like do you start fucking beating the dog like what do you do he's like oh i you know like well you just shouldn't and i'm like that's not

the question i'm asking i'm asking what happens like do you do you scold yourself in your mind you know like i it seems very like and then again you know there was not a one black person to offer their two cents in this conversation it was just like five of the whitest guys i know and then my friend from the valley so i was like okay well we don't really have like a key authoritative figure to give their two cents on it but you know it seems fine to me i'm i'm i'm gonna go on the record and say it's fine to do it if you're alone don't if you have a car full of friends heard it first here folks jake jake is over party um i hate to be the one to do it, but we're going to get Jake out of here. I'm mad at him because his mom threw away my cigarettes.

You were going to smoke those when you came back to my apartment? Yeah, in a few months. I was planning on it. They've been sitting outside getting rained on and shit. Just like I'm going to smoke those Al Capones at some point. Dude, they're still sitting here, man. Well, if you fucking touch one, I'm going to find out, dude. You're going to kill me, dude?

No, I'll just find out. And I'll be passive aggressive about it for like six months. So be ready. I had never had an Al Capone before my co-workers get annoyed with me or did when I first started working at this job because I would buy cigarettes but

I'd get a different brand every time to try new ones and they were like bro that's like you don't do that like you have your brand and you just buy that and I would be like this is a this is a Winston. Winston. I'm going to try this one.

Yeah. You know, like, it's a fucking cigarette, man. It's not going to be, like, life-changing, you know? Like, these are just different. Whatever. Dude, this fucking webcam, man. The camera just drooped down to Thomas' dick and balls That was too high

We used to do Hey mister So we had a couple people When I was a teenager That would like buy us cigarettes Or like they were friends They'd buy us cigarettes And like fucking fillies and shit swishers.

But if those guys like were like at work at like pizza hut or whatever, we would like, you know, go to the store and be like, fuck, I'm going to get a blunt, you know, I'm going to smoke.

And why we just didn't smoke out of a bowl. I don't fucking know. We were like, I want to smoke a black year. I don't know. You're fucking ninth, 10th grade. So I would like be hanging out outside the gas station in front of my neighborhood.

And I'd be like, Hey man, um, I left my ID. Can you buy me a white owl? You know? And you know, a lot of times they like, you know, whatever. One guy was like, uh, they're 99 cents, dude. He thought that I was asking him to buy me one, I guess. He was like, they're a dollar. Just go in and get one. And I was like, no, I, I one, I guess. He was like, they're a dollar. Just go in and get one.

And I was like, no, I don't have my, he was like, Oh, he goes, no. He was like,

no, it's like, he like, didn't listen to me. And he jumped to, it made me like in the month. I was like, do you think I'm too broke to afford a fucking,

I was like, that's fucking disrespectful. Been there. I remember this gas station we used to go to the, the white owls would be a slightly different price every night but by like two pennies it'd be like all right 108 with tax 106 with tax yeah like on the same night it's like yeah what do you mean like how did the tax change by two cents in like an hour the times so like my go-to

brands of like i'm fucking down down the drain no money in my fucking checking account i'm broke was uh palmol reds and then um l&m turkish blend those l&m turkish blend are fucking expensive now i don't know why but palm Paul Malls have always been like, when you're like, you have the kind of money in your checking account where you're like, I should just do it. I just, you know, it's done.

Like, it's like you're negative. And so you're like, I was like scrounging change to get a pack of cigarettes. And this guy who worked at the gas station by my house, like the first house I had when I was in Austin, he hated me. Because I would never be quarters.

It'd be like a couple quarters, but it would be, dude, dimes, nickels, pennies, like two quarters. And, you know, I would just be shoving this pipe, and everybody's behind me just like, you know, like,

I'm like, dude, I'm sorry. Like, if I don't get, you know, nicotine, I'm going to crash my fucking car in the store. And he was like, one time he was like, you know, you can save. He was like, you can save, buddy. The chain should go to the bank. And you can get cash. You know, you're a coin star, H-E-B.

And I was like, are you telling me to take $5 worth of change? Go to the bank, you know, and be like, hey, can I just get five $1 bills? Like that is psychopath. Like that is unhinged. That's like shit you do. Like, you know, yeah. Like right before you're like, I'll eat the whole bottle. It's not that big of a deal.

This is something to do. You know, I don't. When did Newportports get so expensive i feel like newports had a resurgence the same way that parliaments did there was like a it was like a cigarette that like there was a cigarette that like hipsters smoked i guess because when i moved to austin it was still native american native native native american american spirits yeah yeah it was still american spirit blues and then the real cool guys smoked blacks the periques but like when i was like like 2014 i started seeing motherfuckers smoke parliaments which are like vietnam era

cigarettes they have the recessed filter yeah you know uh and that was really popular same thing with newport's and newport reds at that. Like, obviously the menthols. And so I think, like, I'm assuming that these companies, they spend millions and millions of dollars on PR and advertising and research and shit. I'm sure that they keep up with trends and they notice that stuff. And if they see a small tick in sales or whatever in, like, certain areas, they just, you know. I'm assuming, I have no idea. But I know what you're talking about. Because there was a time when like people, I knew that my whole life that smoke camels

like camel one 99s or, you know, just camel reds or whatever. I smoked Turkish Royals. They would, they just switched to Newport reds or Newport menthols. And I was like, why? And they're like, I don't know. It's just something new. And it was like, I, it was like something routine that I saw. So I guess, I don't know.

People just trying to be cool. Trying to be cool motherfuckers. You know, kids these days, they want to smoke the cool cigarettes. There's only one cigarette that's going to make you cool, and it's the word of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Who's with me? Jake, can I get an amen? Amen, brother. It didn't feel like you fucking meant that dude amen brother all right i appreciate that did you ever go to those big

fucking um they were like big ass like worship like youth things like there would be like a like a christian rock band would play and it'd be like soaring on eagles' wings type fucking like, oh, how he loves us bullshit, and then like a big... But there would be like 15,000, 20,000 people there. Not 15,000, 20,000 people, no. That's an exaggeration. The biggest one I went to was like...

I was like, I don't know where the fuck you were going to church. No, no, this was not church. It was like... It was like... There's one called Passion. I never went to that one because it just... It was a fucking nightclub. Drake is there.

Yeah, I've seen my kids to Passion. Drake's there and he's like, fuck, man. But there was a couple that I went to when I was like 12 or 13 that our youth group would go to and uh everybody who did i don't know everybody who did this stuff they're like i thought that was yeah yes dude they're like the the hands open waving in the air the eyes closed mouth open and they're like just vibing i'm like dude that is would you do that at something i mean i don't know because i didn't enjoy it i'm projecting

it on everyone else but like would you do that at a concert man like like a show like a band that you really liked like why are you doing that but i? They're opening up their hands. They're opening it to the spirit. Yeah, I guess so. You know? You sound like a cynical Sam right now. You know? You know what I mean, man? Yeah, a cynical Sam.

You sound like somebody who can't breathe through their nose whatsoever. I guess I just never had any of those moments. There was one time we went to this Bible camp in Trinity, Texas. Um, and I went with the youth group and, uh, I found out from some of my friends who were grew up Catholic. This is like a, a common theme in these like teen camps or what they'll do is they'll like have you outdoors doing outdoor shit all day

kayaking and fucking doing dumb shit and then you know they'll feed you a little bit and they'll be worship and then you'll go out and do some more outdoor shit you get tired but it's not night time yet it's not bunk time and then they'll have a band play super late and then at the end of that go out and do some more outdoor shit. You get tired, but it's not nighttime yet. It's not bunk time. And then,

uh, they'll have a band play super late. And then at the end of that, they're like anybody who feels the Holy spirit moving through them. Uh, you know, you, you come up right here, you come around and,

and, and, and, and, and give your life over to Lord. I understand a lot of you are young people. They're teenagers. And a lot of you can't,

you know, your, your life is in shambles you know and at the time the only thing i was doing was like smoking weed and beating off and doing keyboard cleaner but you know only a little bit um but i remember having like what i thought i was like oh fuck i do feel a little little tinge of something and i was like you know i was like tearing up or whatever supposed to get worked up no i think i will again when i i was talking to some friends of mine and

they're like yeah so the tactic is they like work you all day like activities and shit and like fucking doing outdoor shit they barely feed you and then they sleep deprive you and then at two in the morning they're like anybody feel anybody feel those power of the spirit right now? Anybody fucking feel the love of the Lord in their, in their loins and their hearts, minds and spirits and souls come up and you're like, well, and you're with like fucking 500 other kids. And you're like, wow, maybe I do, you know, maybe that is, it is just exhaustion and like sleep deprivation and hunger. and like sleep deprivation and hunger and uh and it's like you know that i wonder how many people who experienced those biological emotions attributed it to like a experience with christ and now they have like six kids that they don't like or want to talk to or you know like i kind of had one of those uh when i was like 13 we went to this camp in new mexico

and i was like man maybe that was uh maybe it was a spiritual experience and then like two days later i was like because i like said to one of the youth guys i was gonna like maybe sign up for it to like a, a leadership type thing. Yeah. Like, I realized, you know, I really don't want to do that at all. I don't want to fucking do that. So I just stopped going to church because I didn't want them to maybe. I had, like, I think I had, like, said that I wanted to, like,

help out with, like, a youth group or something. And then I was like, no, I think I just really needed some sleep. Yeah then I was like, I think I just really needed some sleep. Yeah, I was hungry. I needed a cigarette. There was a... I think there was... I don't know. I had a similar experience because I was

always like... On several occasions, they were like, I got pulled aside after a youth group. We would break off into the groups of the guys. we would buy do bible study and uh on several occasions i was asked afterwards by the the youth leader to like not ask any more questions during bible study and i wasn't i was like i'm not even gonna lie i was a smug little fucking prick at this age i was still going to church kind of but i like didn't really believe in God and I wanted everyone to know that I didn't.

That was like my thing. And, uh, and so I was like, you know, all of these things that I read on like Google, like 10 contradictions in the Bible, just fucking little, you know, snarky fucking smug asshole shit. But the weird thing was, is, is that in doing that dolly what are you doing in doing that i think like some of them were motivated like hey you know you you got a really great talent for like speaking and you know have you ever thought about uh you know like studying the word going to seminary and i'm like hey man i try to make it my life like here to

to be like the smuggest little like bill marr atheist teenager like that is basically what i'm into right now and they're like you know what that i mean you know but the word will find its way into you you just got a really good gift of gab and i think and i'm like you know i think it's just if you show disinterest i think it like spurs that shit on more you know like it like gets the fucking gears turning for some of those guys um so this is a challenge from god right some of them just want to touch teenagers and uh sleep with them i think that is Do you have any proof of that, Jake? Or are you spreading insidious lies about the church with no evidence?

I don't have hard proof, but, you know. You got soft proof? I got medium proof. You got half-chub proof? I got half-chub. Yeah, I got quartered up. I got waistband proof. There was a guy that I roomed with in college for a bit

who, um, his parents were like super loaded. And, uh, he was like a genuinely mentally unwell guy would have like a, he was the kind of bipolar where you can't really function in normal society. Like, you know, he like tried to burn our apartment down and like threatened to kill me and all this weird shit. But anyway, one day, one day he was having like a good day and we were just chilling smoking weed and he was telling me that his parents he was like a you know his parents didn't have a lot of time spent a lot of time with him they worked a lot traveled a lot but they signed him up for one of those like kidnap uh like things where they take troubled teens literally like a vase like a van pulled up and some motherfuckers like his parents opened the door some motherfuckers showed up and they're like

you're gonna get in a van and he's like i'm gonna start swinging and they were like you can do that if you want we're gonna swing too and they like restrained him and like he went in a van and they like they drove like uh he was from colorado they drove like hours and hours and he was in a van with other kids. And they were like, all went to some space and got debriefed. Which was like, yeah, well, your parents signed your rights over for about two months. So we're, basically what's going to happen is you're going to hike about 20 to 30 miles a day in the woods. You're going to learn to camp. You're going to learn to dig big fucking holes and like put meat in them and shit.

And anyway, he was telling me, I had heard about this shit like on the news. camp you're gonna learn to dig big fucking holes and like put meat in them and shit uh and anyway he was telling me i had heard about this shit like on the news i'd read some articles and stuff but i'd never firsthand met anybody who had like been to one yeah and i was like well what was it like and he was like you know basically you're not allowed like it's literally you're just out you're just out in deep bush fucking hacking away with big swords and shit and if you try to like fuck off the reservation they just hunt they just do like search like s-e-r-e class to you and like hunt you down and you like stay longer and you're paying the parents if they want to can extend the time out like as long as you're under 18 or

whatever they can extend how much time you're out there and he ended up like fucking the game up so much that he just stayed out like he was like yeah i think i was out there for like six months i don't know man then they sent me to some boarding school he was like i met robert de niro's son in the woods i was like wait what he was like yeah there was a guy there and you know he's like we didn't get to talking while you're fucking making camp or whatever and like what do your parents do and i was like oh my mom's a you know, we didn't get to talking while you're fucking making camp or whatever. And like, what are your parents doing? I was like, Oh, my mom's a psychologist. My dad's a judge. What does your dad do? My dad's Robert De Niro. And he, the guy, my, my friend at the time was like, no, he's not. He's like, yeah, totally. He's Robert De Niro. And, uh, he was like talking about that. Like, Oh, it was cool. I met Robert De Niro's son. And then I asked him, I was like, did you see pictures of them together?

And he was like, no, I didn't think to ask. And I was like, it's just as likely in that situation. You were just talking to a very insane, like 16. Just so did he look like Robert De Niro? Robert De Niro is an old man. This was not very long ago, maybe eight or nine, 10 years ago. So it was he like, did he had like a 15 year old son at like 70 years old like i think you were just talking to a guy who was just like

full of shit like unhinged you know he's like yeah maybe but um i think it would be good for me and you to do those to run those things turn wayward youth into podcasters I think that could go well what would be your first lesson how to love guys like us are good at that you want to learn how to not hate you got to learn how to love first you want to learn how to not hate yourself

you got to love yourself playboy the first secret to podcasting is always having a scripted show so you never fuck the show up. Don't be tired. Remember that Justin Bieber song? If you like the way you look so much, baby, you should go and love yourself. Was that Justin Bieber? Yeah.

Like 2017, 2016. Do you like Justin Bieber, man? No, I remember. No. No. So this is a funny little, the reason I know this song is whenever I was, uh, when I was 15, I, uh, I broke up with my girlfriend at the time, and she, uh, she subtweeted me by, by posting a link

to that song, because she realized I was sarc, I would sarcastically at the time brag to people that I was just extremely handsome. At the time I had acne pretty bad and I also just had like a gut and was like skinny fat. Like I wasn't ugly enough to where it was like clear irony but I wasn't

like good looking. So it was just a really confusing thing that I would do sometimes. You know I'm a bit good looking. Right. So it was just a really confusing thing that I would do sometimes. But yeah, I'm a bit of a mystery man. Yeah. I, there,

I was, I was that age, the MySpace times and people would change. I mean, you're old as fuck. Yeah. Hey bro, you should just kill yourself. You're old. You're old as fuck. Yeah. Hey, bro, you should just kill yourself. You're old as fuck.

Yeah, dude, you're old as fuck and you got nothing left. Your life is over, dude. I've had, like, two of the best years I've had, like, probably in my whole life, and you're just like, you're washed. You're fucking waste. You're fucking washed, dude. How old, what are you, 27? You should pull your fucking eyes. Get the fuck out of here, dude.

You're not having any more good years after this. Fat old retard, you should fucking. 2021 out of here dude you're not having any more good years after this fat old retard you should fuck 2021 last good year for jake after that it's a fucking wreck fucking dude just absolute dog shit i just get into harder drugs that i never really got super into like the next it's like you can't take that many steps up from where you were no i you can take a couple but it's like all right i would have have to do, like, I'd have to be, like, doing Fent. Or, like, just doing Black Tar, I guess. Like, you know, like... Even Black Tar isn't, like, that much worse than Dilaudid, I feel like.

No, it's not. It's really, like... It's really, like... It's, like, similar level, just, you know. Well, I mean, like, yeah, I mean, yeah. I don't even know... Yeah, I guess I... Like, I don't think you would get more fucked up off heroin than you did no no for sure

no in fact one of my one of my best friends who did both was like yeah you know the lot of it comes from the pharmacy um it's a lot cleaner usually when i shoot black tar uh it's just kind of a gamble you know and i was like so why don't you just shoot the lot and he's like i mean you know and i was like that's not a good enough answer for me. I have plenty of Dilaudid. You know, I get it for free. Yeah, you should have some more healthy Dilaudid, dude. It's like black tar is like chicken wings.

Yeah, yeah. You're doing heroin in front of your mom. She's like, Jake, take your Dilaudid. You need to get back on the Dilaudid. I'm fucking nodding off, like foaming at the mouth she's like jake goes over pulls the spoon it's all fucking burnt up and nasty and he's like jake is this black tar is this china stuck come on you know just get on your back on your dilaudid you were doing so good dude that like i fucking talk about it that like i don't you know it's hard to like i i feel like maybe i don't know i'm just being negative because i've been in a bad mood but i feel like maybe you like burn out part of your joy receptors after a little while.

Like I look at my dad. I feel like if I took my dad, my dad could never hike up the mountain. But if I could like teleport my dad to the top of a beautiful mountain, just fucking just mid spring in Montana, fucking creeks and waterfalls and snow capped. He'd be like like get me off this fucking I don't I don't you know there's just no like uh organic natural highs or they're gone like sometimes I'll lift and I'll get a little like you know but it's like dude I yeah you know we've we've been down this road I've done the fucking I lived a stupid ass life So I feel like I've ruined myself You're talking like you're 75 years old right now

I do that sometimes I'll tell you what man There's always brighter days ahead There is Until you're on your deathbed Then you know there's not It's over and you're gonna fucking die and rot away And in a few generations You'll just be a picture T picture tucked away in a photo album nobody gives a fuck about, you know?

Yeah, that's true. I cannot fuck. I got my nose all stopped up. Did you? It literally looks like you inflated your face with air. I'm not trying to be a dickhead. This morning, I woke up sick. I was sick yesterday, but not like. Yeah. Not quite as bad. I mean, I'm woke up sick. I was sick yesterday, but not like...

Yeah. Not quite as bad. I mean, I'm not super sick. I just haven't taken anything for it. Anyway, this morning, I was running late, and I forgot my Adderall and my Zyrtec. You know. So, I'm allergic to a lot of, like, trees and plants.

Yeah, you told me, yeah. So, that would be definitely a factor here. But, you know, like, at the end of the day, what are you going to do? Are you going to fucking take your medicine? Go to church?

Are you going to do what the fucking Chinese government tells you to? No. You're Go to church. Are you going to do what the fucking Chinese government tells you to? No. You're going to die. You're going to, like, you can't breathe. And you're allergic to, like, bees and stupid gay shit like that. I'm going to, you know, I might die from, like, crawfish or something someday. Imagine that.

That would be fucking stupid. But you never know. Every weekend since you came up for the show, I've just been fucking eating and drinking. Like, fucking just going fat fuck mode. Like, and booze mode. I've just been fucking... And then, like, I have the audacity. Ashley's like, how you feeling?

I'm like, I feel like fucking shit. I feel like shit, and I don't know why. It's like, well, for the last month, basically, um, every time Friday rolls around, you go, uh-huh. And you fucking eat about 10,009 million calories and all in one day and one, you know, and you do that. Uh, and you, then you don't go to the gym, which, you know, like you're kind of a rat in a wheel where it's like if i don't like eat somewhat normally and keep the beer to a minimum and go to the gym like i'm i literally i feel like a fucking idiot like an npc like i just wander around my apartment like like i don't know what the fuck's going on and i know the reason for it it's just i'm a fucking

idiot and i have like the impulse control of a fucking wild pig. So I, like, don't know. Like, I just literally, dude, it's so fucking frustrating because, like, I've given up on therapy. Because I know what my fucking problems are. I have fucking bad shit with food. And I have, again, just bad impulse control. I make fucking impulse decisions. I make impulse purchases.

I eat impulse meals. And I'll have this, like, self-awareawareness it'll click on, which is great. If I didn't have that, I feel like I'd be on one of them fat fucker shows we talked about a couple episodes back. I would 100% be. Like, when I got up to 265, it was actually a couple of my friends and then me. But a couple of my friends being like, Mm-mm, man, you're fatter than fuck. Like, bad. and you stink uh but i think if i didn't have like a good group of friends and a little bit of self-awareness i think i would have just gotten like i would have been like they'd have to weigh me at the

junkyard type shit you know so again i just have to keep all that stuff in check i don't know nobody gives a fuck about this but you know this is my show uh and uh it's your show too but you you're the co-host so you kind of have to deal with it you know yeah and also when you talk a lot like this it means i don't have to for a while so you know it's i'm always here for you when you need to talk about some gay bullshit for a really long time you know yeah i feel like you're just like checking what's on the audacity you're like you can talk man vent for 16 minutes. Dude, if you ever need to vent to me, yeah, for another 15 minutes and 50 seconds. Dude, I'm always here for you, man. You know, and if you need to elaborate on that in a way that I find it difficult to interact with,

so I have to be silent and then maybe baby say yeah every 10-15 minutes. I know my place, you know. Yeah, for sure. I'll tell you what, man. They're not making fucking... They're not making Vaseline like they used to. What are you using Vaseline for?

Oh, Jake. Silly, silly Jake. You don't know anything about lips. No, because I got beautiful soft skin and my lips don't, chap. Oh, you hydrated little freak. I'm actually super dehydrated. I'm just genetically superior to you in that regard.

Oh, he thinks he's Billy Badass breathing through his nose. Oh, Mr. Normal Skin and Mr. Lips and Mr. King of the Nose Breathing. I bet your nasal airways stay wide open. I actually have to I bet you get fucked in the nose, dude.

Bitch. I bet you get I bet you want to go Retard, dude. Oh, you You breathing through that nose? Nice, boy. i bet you those holes get big i bet you you know the idea of being at a bar and you're like like you're talking shit but you're so sick that you're like and another thing another thing you fucking piece of shit motherfucker and they're like guys like hey you know i fucking don't

i use a lot of afrin that is why my shit is the way it is because i'm normally really stopped up like all the time i have those like the nasal i've never really had that problem really because it sounds like you have a literally like a nasal passage filled with green slime no like i can't breathe through my nose but like it's a new year and like we're all making conscious fashion decisions, you know? And I've decided that breathing through your nose is choogy. But breathing through your mouth is in. People were doing those in and out lists and I thought that was the. I was.

People were doing those in and out lists, and I thought that was the... Are you looking at me? I was... That was... I said... I said, breathing through your mouth is in, and breathing through your nose is chewy. Shut up, gay guy. Did she call you gay guy? No, that was somebody else that wasn't...

Jake just cut that in. I cut in a girl's voice Calling you gay guy You know gay guy It's like a Term of endearment Yeah It's like baby

Sweetheart Gay guy Retard Darling Gay guy Sack of shit Get out of my room Yeah

You Fuck bad You stink Yeah Stuff like that Broke bitch Broke dick Yeah. Stuff like that. Broke bitch. Broke dick. You know, names like that for me.

Dick on soft mode. I like. I like being called stuff like that. Yeah. Because it takes me down a notch. When you're an international superstar like me and you, Jake, I suppose you need to be humble. Yeah, a little bit.

No, I definitely see you there. I understand completely. Dude, that sounds nasty, bro. You sound like you're dying. Do you have COVID? No, man. If there's one thing I'm not doing right now, it's dying. Did you get a, did you call out of work or something?

No. Oh, okay. I called out of work or something? No. Oh, okay. I called out of work last week for my broken penis. I can't do that again. It's very funny. Your boss is like, so what's going on, man? You're like, well, my dick broke and I can't breathe. This guy's like, you want to explain?

You're like, not really. I got my issues, you know. Every man's got his problems. I was having muscle cramps real bad earlier, and I tried to pull myself up the tree, like up the rope or whatever, and I got like one foot off the ground. And I just like, I had nothing.

It was like a huge tree. And I was just like swinging like I was on a play swing, just back and forth very slowly. And I just unclipped myself and walked over. And I was like, that'll be happening today. There were several occasions where the only shade from the sun would be under one of the forklifts. So there would be sometimes I would go like under one of the, the forklifts that I would be like, so a lot,

so there would be sometimes I would go to work on the shop, uh, the, like the warehouse forklift and, uh, the warehouse, you know, obviously it gets a warehouse. There's a big fan in there and I would be so tired and so hot or if I was

like sick, but didn't want to call into work. Cause like if you called in, if you did not bring a doctor's note, there was, there was no warning. Like the, that what they told you was the warning. If you didn't have a doctor's note there was there was no warning like the that what they told you was the warning if you didn't have a doctor's note you were fired like they run you off or whatever so i didn't like to go and spend money on a fucking doctor's

visit for bullshit so i would just go to work sick as fuck and i would like lay under the forklift with like the wheels chalked and i would have like my fucking bag of, like, dude, just shit that you – I don't need to change, like, an oil filter or anything. Like, I would have the wrong wrenches, a hammer, just shit that, like – and I would just get under it. And I would get under it with one of the – we had those electrolyte popsicles. And I would bring, like, six or seven under there and, like, three bottles of water. And I would tell the other – like, the main mechanic, because I was, like, his apprentice or whatever. I'd be like, Aaron, you know, you fucking Richie's texting me saying the fucking

shop lift propane tanks fucked. And it's smoking weird. And he's like, all right, you go handle that. I'm going to go work on the crane or whatever. And so I would fucking, um, drive my little, my truck over there and I would park the motherfucker and uh i would like be like hey i came over to take i would like double play i'm like i'm here to take a look at the the forklift and they're like oh it was just working i was like yeah somebody said it wasn't anyway chalk the wheels lay out a bag of tools lay under that motherfucker and then just like tighten and loosen shit for like an hour and then uh like eat popsicles and drink like six bottles of water and like kind of like micro nap for like three minutes and then like like eat popsicles and drink like six bottles of water and like kind of

like micro nap for like three minutes and then like you know i'd slide after i felt i'd cooled off and had a break or whatever i would like slide i was like yeah man i don't know like uh just need i just you know needed to play like tighten some stuff up replace oil filter everything looks cool you know i'm not sure what the deal was guys like yeah i was running i don't know who told you it was broken. And I was like, I don't know. I got a text because I didn't want to like, cause the warehouse guys are all close. So I didn't want to be like, uh, Rob. And he'd be like, Rob, what's going on? You know?

And I would, they would get found out. So I was like, I don't know, man. I just got a group text, you know? I was like, I gotta go by like, I'm getting my Walker, my walkie or whatever. And, uh, that was like, that was the, was the anytime those crane operators make great money and it's a good line of work anytime i got called to go look at something in there like their cockpit or whatever like a dial was and i didn't know how to do any of this shit i had to google it as i was doing it but something was fucked up dude some of those in some of those get colder than fuck.

So there'd be a lot of times where I would get in to the guy, and he'd step out. He's like, hey, I need you to hurry up, man, because I've got to fucking move metal. I've got to get shit up in the air. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, just let me take a look. So he would hop out. I would get in there and look inside shit.

Sometimes it would be the AC. Sometimes it would just be fucking whatever. Usually, nine times out of ten, we would have to call Big or like the actual owner of the crane to bring out an actual guy who works on cranes who is a crane mechanic um but i would just sit in there yeah and kind of like tap the dials or whatever you have to it's not it's so fun to just be like i gotta look at the compression yeah yeah literally like and he, this is a crane operator. He knows his crane. I'm like, yeah, I'm just, like, you're getting airflow in here.

It's just, you know, it's kind of stale. I'll have to, you know, I got to get out on the side, check the AC or whatever. And, like, sometimes we actually did have to, like, fix the AC and these fucking things. But I love being in those fucking things. First of all, I just felt fucking cool. I was like, damn, y'all sit in here 12 hours a day and just move. You almost kill people all day, but you don't.

And that's what makes you good at your job is that you could kill a lot of motherfuckers with this thing. And you just choose not to, which is awesome. Respect to you. There's also... Dude, that's like why I... Some of the bull rigger guys,

they were like... Their job was was you know they fucking tie off piece of metal crane flies it the fuck up the unit or whatever and i was like man this is a sick gig you just tie knots all day guys like yeah you know i'm trying to trying to get it behind the crane though and it wasn't until i sat behind one that i was like man do y'all if one of these motherfuckers had a bad day, like a really bad day, and a lot of the guys that work in the industry are just, you know, some of them have bad days. You could really do some serious, before anyone could stop you, like get in the crane to pull you out of it.

If you just had like a big fucking piece of steel, you could take out 20, 30 motherfuckers, swing it into the side of the fucking cooling tower kill more people um but you know that stuff's not good to do yeah we don't really think about stuff like that do we jake no i don't think about it i remember i remember something uh like i hated getting up in the fucking man list i've told you this before i fucking hated it dude and i was like pulling numbers from the warehouse and, like, matching up with shit in the yard to send. I forget what I was fucking doing. I don't know.

Busy work. And I was only up, like, 25 feet because it was, like, a tall warehouse or whatever. But I was just, like, shaking, dude. Fucking just shaking. And the guy up there with me is just, dude, he's, like, any sign of weak. He was just laying into my fucking ass. He was one of the foremen, too. So I was just like, man, I just do not fuck with heights. And he's like, oh, if you oh if you're gonna work out here better get fucking used to it blah blah blah and uh you know we get down order he's like well

make why are you so fucking scared man you ride roller coasters i'm like yeah i don't fucking do a fuck about roller coasters what makes you so scared i'm like well when i'm up there i can't think about like you know just jumping off and like my neck breaking and i die like really badly he's like it was one of those where i just should have been like, I just don't like heights. But I was like, a little too much overshared as I'm wont to do in certain situations. He was like, just kind of like, what the hell? You know, like, you don't know how to respond to something insane another person just said to you. Yeah.

Kind of like now. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah one thing with climbing is uh you really there's definitely not just one carabiner you can undo and then just like you know right i feel like it's a multi-step process if you wanted to know there there is one oh oh you're saying there is one i thought you said there was not one i was kidding oh there is uh they're like yeah there's two carabiners where if one just uh it's happened before where it'll uh snag on something and the gate starts to open and it's hooked onto

my climbing saddle while I'm suspended. That's not fun. I saw a video you posted where you were climbing a tree in the backyard and you fell like 10 feet. You posted it on Twitter. It looked like you hit your cock and balls or whatever. No. I just hit the inside of my thigh. But It looked like you hit your cock and balls or whatever. No.

I just hit the inside of my thigh. But it looked like it could have been one of them really bad ones. Like something you wouldn't post on the internet, maybe. No, it was funny. Also, I didn't fall. The tree... The branch decided to fall. But you did fall.

You did fall. A little bit. But I didn't fall the branch fell and i was i decided to follow uh okay you could have stood there and floated had you wanted to i could have i could have done a lot of things and it's all about hindsight and foresight you know like you've got hind skin let hear it. Let's hear you finish that. Heinz skin. Man, I've, oh man. That's where they trim up your, that's where they tighten up your ball sack when you're born.

That's Heinz skin. So it looks like a globe, you know? Yeah, man, that's... That's why you got that line down the middle at the bottom of your sack? Yeah, it's like a zipper. Yeah, that's where they took off your hind skin. So you're saying that all men not only get penis mutilation, but we get smaller nut sacks also?

Yeah, you can get hind skin cancer also. Because you got your hind gland. Right. I love glands. I do be fucking with you. Glands go hard. They be busting. Yeah, they be busting, dude.

I like glands, and they're fi. Dude, your glands are on fleek bro hey i don't know why five all of them it's just like i your glands are five bro and you have yeah i'm gonna run down on your glands that's on phone him that's on all the dead hummies dude it's on phone empty yeah all the dead hummies dude it's on phone mdm i uh i saw this video on twitter today of uh it was like 15 mexican kids with like the edgar haircut or whatever like all like dancing yeah yeah did they have the gun one of them had the gun yeah dude that was in uh that was in fort worth was it really yeah it's in uh like the north side or whatever. But I immediately, like, as soon as I saw the video, I was like, are these Fort Worth Mexicans? Because this is, like, a very specific...

Like a loadout, like a type of Fort Worth. Yeah, yeah. I was friends with a guy in high school who looked like all of those guys. Yeah. high school who was like looked like all of those guys yeah um the the two types from where i'm from in pasadena like southeast houston area um so you got uh like north end like cowboy hat just basically cowboy gear and lifted truck and then you have like uh truck and then you have like uh polo like medium too tight polo way too tight jeans sometimes maybe lifted but usually like uh just a kit it's not really lifted or lowered yeah lowered and then they'll have a thing of blantons on them at all times which is the whiskey it's

like a fifth when i used to go hang out with my one of my best friends like like parties with his family so i've talked about it before they're like a solidorian and mexican and all that stuff uh you'd see like each type of guy each type of loadout and then of course you just have your like old head cholos or whatever that you know exist in every you know ecosystem but i think my favorite is like the skin tight light blue denim and then like chelsea boots but like polo and they've got a little bit of the the sleeves are tight so it makes them it does give them sort of a build but their belly is still like a guy who drinks a lot of bourbon and beer yeah you know what i'm talking about and then like a really annoying belt buckle uh and then yeah the

truck can be lifted or lowered but i feel like the lifted as long as it looks annoying right right right like like it's one of those like uh like like uh like bottom those f-150s or whatever right yeah like 2002 or whatever and it's like it's like lowered and then it's got like it's got like a carolina squat or whatever where it's like yeah that's a good one the dude i love it when guys take like old fleet model gmcs and then airbrush like a big titty nun on the back and she's like praying in front of an oasis and shit like that dude uh like i genuinely think that that's fucking sick and I've always like

I've always wanted like one of my like dream things as a kid that still exists today is I wanted to get an El Camino and I wanted to get I don't even know who you'd call cause you know that those guys have guys that's all they do I don't know who to call, who to reach out to

like Google Airbrush Big Titty Nun Oasis guy like I don't know who to call who to reach out to like google air pro airbrush big titty nun oasis guy like i don't know who i would contact but that shit is so fucking sick like it's awesome uh to like to ride around town in like a lower gmc cyclone a sick truck like by all you know uh and then you know the paint job is the paint job but the fucking trailer of it it's like spongebob getting a blow job or something like that well it's like yes it's there are genuinely absurd ones i have seen but the the theme is like like salma hayek but religious and she's like inviting you to come into like a waterfall like i guess that's like

the best that i could fucking think of it those are so it's just it's just every every one of those guys this idea of heaven yeah well it's like like when they were 12 imagine like you're not wearing your seat belt and you fly out of the windshield that's the last thing you see doing flips and about to hit the pavement yeah you're like on the freeway and you're like man you lock eyes with salma with the nun salma hayek and you're like i'm going to heaven baby and you just end up fucking pink mist on the side of i-45 fucking um yeah those uh the lifted i've i see a lot of the cowboy style guys that just have trucks like uh construction owner dads there's a lot of the cowboy style guys that just have trucks like uh construction owner dads there's a lot of crossover there um they have the first of all they have the ellie like the

halogen or led lights that are just like they fuck your whole yeah i hate that shit i can't fucking stand it i don't know why motherfuckers do that um and then uh underow, usually white sometimes or whenever it's a rainbow but it just looks like something you'd have in a teenager's room or something the fucking underglow yeah

I honestly think, if it's a solid color like on a car, like a rice burner I think that's kind of cool, or like a BMW but when you do it on a truck yeah I'm cool with it on like a Honda Civic yeah, I think that's kind of cool or like a bmw but when you do it on a truck yeah i'm cool with it on like a honda civic yeah yeah i think that shit looks cool but it's weird like i don't know why but on a truck it's like it just i feel like i'm at a showroom or something yeah i'm like why the fuck you know also all those guys regardless of if they're like you know like uh just white dudes who like weld or they're all watching those dudes get into their lifted

fucking truck is hilarious they have to grab the side mirror and they gotta like bring their they're all like five four so it's like they have to do like a full pull-up like into the truck and then get in and it's like watching them get out like they jump like they they drive it's like yeah i used to work with a guy who had like a big lifted dodge and he was like he didn't have his papers or whatever and he had to make a truck payment every day what it was like 50 a day or something okay i mean that's still really that's so much 50 a day and something like. There's a lot of like, I mean,

he had just been like fucked basically, but well, there's a lot of places like in, in, I mean in Texas, of course it's like, if you, if you need a car to get around,

like I, you see places like no credit check, like no paperwork. And I've always wondered like, this is definitely predatory. Like this is these guys, these people are fucking other people over but like how do you yeah like how do you do you have a bank account like do you go to the car

dealership and you give the guy 50 dollars like every single day after work that's where my dad gets his cars because he just doesn't have like a credit score oh he does but it's probably so bad that a bank would like shoot him if he came in and asked for a loan so like all of his cars he gets from the places that like yeah all the billboards are in spanish and like you know no credit check no job you know no uh no house like no family well it's all good like come in and you know get a car or whatever and he's always like man i got i'm making like 500 payments for the next like six years and i'm like on what he's like a 2010 fj cruiser like like dude that's not i mean i guess when your options are limited but you're like not a

and like an undocumented person you're a guy who was born you know in jacksonville texas so you can get a car like you know you can you don't have to live like this anyway if you like this and thought it was the funniest thing most most interesting thing in the whole world, head on over to Patreon. Give us five fucking dollars. We didn't have to do this. Just give us some fucking money. Yeah, just give us money.

Give us money. Give us money. Give us money. Goodbye.