Pendejo Time - Grizzly Vs Skoal
Episode Date: April 22, 2021Civil War 2. Pick a side soldier or face the wall. Support the Show....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome. Welcome back.
And we're back.
And we're back, dude. We were just...
We kind of... It wasn't super important, but we were talking about the merits of pouches versus actual dip versus the new and improved Zen nicotine salt.
I won't say improved. I'll just say probably less likely to give you mouth cancer.
Improved in the way also that it doesn't stain your teeth.
Yeah, I was gonna say. It probably makes your
gums recede a little bit. What did you dip when you
did, like, when you, like, if you're gonna go by
Grizzly when you're green.
Okay, Grizzly. So I did, I was
a skull man, but like, I
switched to the candle.
I was like, oh, whoa. Yeah, it explains
a lot. That explains a lot.
Well, you made a skull man, you start thinking about what his kids are, you know, what they're like.
Probably, you know, fucking around in little tutus and shit.
But, I mean, you know, that's just, we don't talk about stuff like that.
I mean, you know, you say it around the barbecue table, but you never know who's the skull man amongst you.
Yeah, anyway, yeah, so skull.
But I would buy the camel snus, which, like,, anyway, yeah. So Skull. But I would buy the Camel Snus,
which like... You mean the stuff
that they like?
Because they still have that,
this tobacco,
the real fine ground tobacco
you snort.
Yeah, no.
No, it's...
So it's...
I think it's...
So I want to...
I would love to find that shit
because I like snorting anything.
I'll snort fucking baby powder
if I have to
for whatever reason
I would need to.
But... I don't think you should. I probably have in my life. I probably haveort fucking baby powder if I have to for whatever reason I would need to. I don't think you should.
But I probably have in my life.
I probably have.
I mean, you know, who knows.
You almost certainly have.
I've always wanted to find it.
No, no, I get it.
You have.
Yes, that it's been like baby powder and like ground up Adderall and like 1%, like a numbing agent from like the deep web.
It's got like dehyd dehydrated venom energy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like if somebody let rain evaporate for an hour and a half and then cut it up with baby Tylenol.
And it was like, hey, Jake, this is fire shit, dude.
It's gold bond powder and like citrulline.
Yeah, gold bond powder, half an adderall, citrulline, and then like baby aspirin.
And like taurine.
Yeah, Jacob.
I don't know the last time I said this.
Yeah, man, it's pretty good.
It's called a pump fuel.
Yeah, dude, I've been getting it across the border, like super uncut, like rainbow fish scale shit.
It's 85 a G.
You know I wouldn't fuck you over.
So it's three in the morning at this Chili's, so are you going to buy it or are you not going to?
I'm like, yeah, of course.
Let me hit that fucking pure Colombian snow.
No.
I like the chew that you put In the side of your mouth
But it's like
That's one of those
Like red manage it
Yeah
That's one of those things
You do in your immediate
Like
I think I already have
Cancer from this
Like within like
10 seconds
You're like
This is just
This just feels like
Getting cancer
Whenever I would hang out
With my like
Hipster
Like
Like
People that smoke
Lucky strikes But like I would hang out With them But hipster like like like people that smoke lucky strikes
but like i would hang out with but didn't like fight in world war ii yeah they didn't like yeah
they didn't like storm the beaches of normandy or get raped in vietnam so it's they're just guys or
whatever but uh i'd be like hey can i get a cigarette and like they would hand me one and i
would smoke it and like i smoked a pack and a half of campbell turkish rolls a day
but when i hit one lucky strike i was like yeah dude i'm getting cancer like next week
yeah like it was just a mental thing there's no it's just a mental thing but it was like yeah
no i'm getting cancer like tomorrow there's just no way that's how american spirits are for me
i just spirits but yeah yeah which ones did you like? I smoked the...
If I could find them, I smoked the...
Not the light blue, but they weren't mint.
They were like the darker...
The turquoise?
I know the ones you're talking about.
It's like a darker blue than the...
Yeah, it's a darker blue if I could find them.
But that was rare.
They'd have to have the full line of spirits.
I had a co-worker who was into those.
But I never...
He was one of those guys who was always almost out.
So I would never...
Or had a very...
The point where you feel bad asking, like the six to five random...
Not even that, but he would have them allotted for...
He was going to have one at this time.
Wow.
And one of this.
And I wasn't going to throw off his schedule. Because he was was gonna have to get a new pack like an hour early then and you
know yeah yeah like i so so it was those but 80 of the time i could only find the normal light blue
ones yeah but i've only tried the light blues and the the blacks but the we've talked about the
on here i like those, but they're harsh
and they take like 22 minutes to smoke.
I mean, spirits in general are long cigarettes
to smoke, but the Periques, specifically
the Black Pack, I mean, Jesus Christ.
Those are...
I didn't know...
This was when I was like 18.
I didn't know
what the different colors meant
at all. And so i got the black pack
because i'd heard that's like what real cigarette smokers were into or whatever and then i had like
two and then just threw the pack away because i was so mad it was all it took me like 14 minutes
i'm not kidding i would get in trouble at work like i worked in a
that was one of the restaurant jobs i had so like taking smoke breaks wasn't out of the question
you just like tell your manager like hey man i'm gonna go burn one i'll be back and like
just give me like three because you're you go out there you would do like two big drags of like
you know a camel or a marble or something you flick it and you're supposed to be back in like
two minutes but i would when i smoke spirits i to be back in like two minutes. But when I smoke spirits,
I would be out in the back trying to like kill the sick,
but it was just like the cup that runneth over.
Like it would,
I wouldn't even get to the manager would come outside and be like,
Hey dude,
are you out here like jacking off?
Like,
are you out here fucking something or what?
And I'm like,
no,
I'm smoking.
And he's like,
uh,
so I need you to like,
uh,
you've been gone like 11 minutes.
And I'm like, I've taken like three like – you've been gone like 11 minutes.
And I'm like, dude, I've taken like three drags off.
I've taken like three drags off this dude. Yeah.
But he would be like, yeah, so anyway, like I'm not really asking you at this point.
I'm just saying like you have to come back here and like cook food and like take it to people or else like you just have to go home.
Yeah.
And it wasn't like I was back there doing heroin.
Yeah.
Like I was just –
Which it's a restaurant.
So they were like – you went back there and there were two other guys who actually were
and he was mad yeah yeah you don't know dead serious yeah i mean i'm i'm actually outside
but those two guys are in the walk-in nodding off but i'm just trying to trying to get through
one quarter of one way through a cigarette and it's taking me like nine minutes on the better end on the lower end to do so yeah it was uh
there's a lot of like old guys who have always gone with like marlboro 27s yeah or like marlboro
lights yeah like dad cigarettes yeah it's funny um like whenever i worked lumberyard that was like
what everybody had yeah so like anytime he bumped
one it was going to be that and then i ended up just buying those because like i didn't want to
throw it off you know yeah yeah yeah but but um like you'd see some old guy like he would be like
stressed out like everything was going wrong that day and he would like light one to like you know take some
steam off and then he would take it down in like two drags he would smoke it in like 15 seconds
and then that was you know it's like if you're working it's kind of like it's yeah you don't
you don't want to light one like right after you know but would, he would just sort of like, look at the, the butt of it.
Like,
all right,
well,
I guess that's all I got.
There was a,
one of the foreman at the,
at the plastics plant I worked at in Houston.
He would like,
if he saw like a square outline in your jeans,
he'd be like,
that better not be cigarettes.
And you better not be smoking them all side.
He was a friend.
He was like a guy that my dad knew and he
was like yeah fuck that motherfucker and I
never understood what that meant until like
one day so like we
had a we had a bunch of connexes sitting next to
the warehouse and like I
said my dad had worked with this guy before but he was just
my foreman and
anyway
like
one all these connexes held bolts and nuts that we would that like somebody
me or somebody else would take in mass in a forklift to the unit that would go to something
but they were just connexes full of bolts and nuts you know like carbon just whatever the
tempered you know there's millions and millions of them well one of them always smelled like like
just straight like hot piss and like cigarette smoke and and he was always bitching about it
like he was like if i catch whoever sick motherfuckers in there pissing in there because
there's a fucking shitter about maybe 10 yards to your fucking right whoever's in there smoking
in there you're fucked you ain't even getting rid up and if you're pissing in there and i catch you it was him dude it's him i walk over the connex one time so
like uh i was working on a forklift and it was a slow day i and i got i fixed the forklift it was
like a something i had to change the oil the guy just ran it down it was something bullshit but
anyway i go over to the to the i worked with the warehouse but also in the unit but if there was
nothing to fix in the unit i would go to the warehouse for him.
Like, Hey man, do y'all need help?
Like counting material or something.
And he was just like, yeah, go to the, over to the bolt connexes and see if, if anything's
like ready to be shipped out of the unit, you can just take it to the forklift and drive
it out.
And so I go to one of these bolt connexes and it's this, it's this guy, John.
He's, I, I know he's in all the way in the back there i'm like
what's up john and he's like i like i heard the piss and said at the same time but it didn't
register he's in there pissing and there's like smoke i can still see right around the corner
i was like i saw john's he had i knew it was him because the foreman's had a different colored
hard hat they were they had white color we had blue and he was the only one that would be in
there so i knew it was john but i didn't register what he was doing i said hey what's up john
smelled the cigarette smoke heard him pissing and he like he's like yeah yeah what are you doing
are you jack you pulling on it are you fucking around i bet you ain't even working and i'm like
what are you doing back here john and he was like i need you to fuck off out of here right quick
like he was talking he was like i don't remember what he said exactly but it was something along
the lines of like what you did you ain't even working you are you jacking off he was just
trying to get me out of the bowl connects and uh and like i'm texting my dad and uh i'm like hey
where you at and he's like i'm you know i'm next door or whatever i'm like i was like all right i'm gonna take the work truck out and i drove over to the unit next to us
my dad was at and i was like you say you work with this guy and he was like yeah that motherfucker's
he's fucked up he i mean he don't do nothing he's and i was like so he's been complaining about
somebody pissing in the bolt connex for like six weeks every morning at 5 30 he's like if i catch
you pissing it's over you're
cut and i just caught it he's the one that's been pissing in it my dad's like he was like yeah that
dude don't do nothing except bitch and then do the thing he's not supposed to he's like a grown
man he's like 60 years old he was like he was like what'd he do and i was like well he said if he he's
like somebody's been smoking and pissing in the bolt con. And my dad's like, was he smoking in there?
And I was like, yeah, I go in there to get some bolts, drop them out into the unit.
And he's got his fucking pecker out.
He's smoking a Marlboro light.
And he's like, you're in here jerking off, boy.
What the fuck you doing?
Like, he's not even, he's not doing anything, dude.
He starts laughing.
Like, he was like, he was like, hey man, you should bring it up in a safety meeting saying
you know who it is.
And you're, you're only willing to talk to the foreman you don't want to cop to nobody so
i i went i was i did it like three weeks i was right before i like put my two weeks and it was
like oh man if even if i get like fired or laid off it was like we were at a safety meeting i was
like hey can i talk to you guys and i was like man i've been seeing a lot of violations around
the yard and i don't want the site supervisor seeing them and they're like all right well
thanks for coming to us you know what's going on i was like well i saw somebody
that works in the warehouse and one of the bolt contacts is taking a piss right next to where we
stack bolts and it's just unsanitary and they were smoking in there too
fucking one of the john the guy that was doing it was one of the foremen i was talking to and i like
i got this stupid smile on my face and he's like he like looks at me real real sharp
but he's like we'll look into it all right you get out there though you you get to work
but i really i was just kind of laughing at him he knew what was up obviously but i was like
yeah there's somebody just dropping stinky ass pisses and just keeps burning cigarettes
and bulk contacts it's unsafe it's gross too i don't like working in there i didn't give a
fuck really like i had to work in there no matter what like it's my job but he was like yeah i mean that's
fucked up but we'll get somebody on it but you get your lazy fucking gay ass out there you fucking
retard you get back to work i don't pay you to sit around and complain motherfucker you need to get
it like it's i'm like anyway nothing ever came of it i didn't really tell on anybody i just like i
told the one guy
and then another foreman about it who like form was like yeah that whoever's doing that that's
gross as fuck man i don't know why nobody would even it was like a younger black dude and he was
like i don't know why anybody would do that that's gross man your hands are in there you're in there
counting bolts all day and i'm like yeah whoever does that should probably like rethink what they're
doing it's like my foreman's like literally three feet from me like taking notes and i'm like if you're out there pissing on a bunch of bolts man you should
probably like you got something going on at home like like you know you got to talk to somebody
like i don't know man it was it was fucked up but so was he like going like on the bolts or was
there just like a corner dude there would be piss like it would be an all-day thing so like i worked 12 13 hour shifts
six seven days a week and i what i imagine is he like my running theory is is that he didn't do it
to fuck with anybody i think he was probably in there doing something and he just got hit with a
piss and he's old and maybe the the the port-a-potty was because the port-a-potties were always stuff
with dudes there was always a line.
So he's like, fuck it.
I'm just going to piss in the bulk context.
But like he like, dude, you'd go back there at like three.
Like I would finish my work like around three or four.
Everything slows down.
So I fixed like whatever, like fix the AC on the crane.
I fixed forklift.
You know, I'm back out in the warehouse.
I'm like picking up pieces of metal and taking them into the yard into the unit.
And I would go. It would be like 3 p.m and there would be like a puddle of piss in the corner that
was clearly more than one load of piss like it would be it would be drying and like it but but
because it's it's hot but it's shaded so it's not evaporating it's just cooking in the sun
so it's clearly like four or five day like not days worth but like a good day's worth of piss
but it would be in the corner like
and there would be buckets next to it and the buckets would be in it and that would have bolts
in them so it's like you weren't touching the guy's piss but you were breathing in like evaporated
like stop like steam room piss like it smelled like a fucking gym steam room in there with
tobacco smoke with with cigarette smoke that doesn't sound too bad yeah i bet you're pretty
used to that yeah yeah i am you know oh i was i was gonna tell you i'm sorry i was texting you
i don't know where he heard this and my dad calls me today
and you know i talked to my dad maybe maybe a few times a week or whatever and he calls
me today and he just goes we're bullshitting we're talking shit he's asking what i'm doing and i'm
like i'm working and out of nowhere for no reason in it like not called for he just goes you need
to cut it like that like and i was like and i was like he starts laughing and i'm like what's that
and he's like i heard it somewhere i'm like what's that and he's like
I heard it somewhere
I've been saying it all day
in like
like an accent
kind of like Cheech
I've been going
you need to cut it
all day
it's real funny to me
and
the only place
I know that song from
is the OT Genesis
and Young Dolph song
so yeah
so I'm like
as I was texting
I knew you'd get a kick out of it
so like
he hasn't responded to me that I've seen, but I texted my brother.
I was like, were you listening to Young Dolph in the car?
Like, did you hang out with my dad, like, over the weekend?
Because there's nowhere else.
He, like, we're literally, he's like, you working?
And I'm like, yeah, but I'm really stressed out, man.
I've been burning myself out.
He's like, man, you need to stop that shit.
You need to cut it.
Anyway, are you going to be in town for the weekend? And I'm like, what did you just say? And he's like, you need to stop that shit you need to cut it anyway are you gonna be in town for the weekend
and i'm like what did you just say like he's like you need to cut it and he was laughing
but he's saying in an accent that's not from the song but i it might be my dad's own mind so i'm
like i'm thinking maybe when my dad my little he's doing some like indian accent yeah like he
heard the song yeah so like he heard the song but he started saying it to himself in his house or whatever.
And he was like, you need to cut it.
And you know, like, you need to cut it.
Like, over time, that evolved into like, you need to cut it.
You know, like that.
And I'm asking him, he's like, man, I heard it somewhere.
I can't even remember where I fucking heard it, but it's making me laugh all goddamn day.
It's funny if you say like cheats like this,
you go,
you need to cut it.
Like,
so I texted my brother.
I like,
I texted him like shortly before we started.
So I don't know if he's replied yet,
but like,
I know my brother knows that song.
Cause I showed him that.
So I showed him a young Dolph.
So I'm like,
I'm thinking maybe like in the car,
cause my brother,
my little brother, my dad like smoke weed and hang out a lot. So I'm like I'm thinking maybe like in the car because my little brother and my dad like smoke weed and hang out
a lot so I'm like
maybe they were in my dad's car
smoking and my dad was my brother was just
playing music off his I need to
know where he heard it from and I need him to
remember and recall because it's gonna bother
me otherwise I really like the
there's there's like a small
chance that he didn't
hear it anywhere.
And I.
Yeah, that's exactly what I was about to say.
I was like, there's a small chance that that phrase in that accent with those words in that order naturally occurred to him to be funny.
Like he watched, he watched Cheech and Chong like the movie three weeks ago and has been trying to recall a scene.
So, but he's just not wording it right and it's just you need to cut it like that's just what
it is i can't i don't i don't know i'm i like it dude i was texting you about it because it was
like i didn't hold on one second i didn't know like when he said that again it wasn't like he just opened the phone and said it that would have
been really funny with like no prompt but it was like like the way you'd be like yeah man whatever
the fuck so what you been up to he was just like yeah you need to cut it so like so i didn't know
like what like how to i pried a bit i was like hey what'd you hear that at he's like i don't know but anyway i hope you're right but i also hope i'm right because both scenarios are funnier for different
reasons they're both equally funny but for very different reasons like i hope it's just something
like you said that he just misremembered from cheech and chong from 30 years ago yeah or i
hope he was listening to young dolph but he just interpreted in interpreted it in like a Tex Mex Cholo accent.
Like, that's how he heard the
song.
Oti Yenesis.
Oti Yenesis.
One of those bands
are my regular, regular.
Man, there's this
Mexican rapper, Oti Yenesis, him and
young Dolphino, they've been making...
Young Dolph?
Or El Dolph, he's been making it for me.
You need to cut it.
Your price is way too high.
Your price is...
It's too high.
It's too high. I don't want want to pay will you take a little bit i almost delved
into like williamsburg yeah i like that i like that neither of us are very good we're not
approximating at the exit and like like we're just getting closer and it should be like for us
like the locale based we should be able to do
it offhand yeah not even and like different dialects too but instead of like instead of
like doing like a burrito oh man it's not
i have better luck doing my dad doing it, which is like doing my dad's, you need to cut it.
That is what I can do.
Anything past that, I feel like I'm entering a problematic zone, and so I fuck it up.
Yeah, you wouldn't want to do that.
No, I wouldn't.
You wouldn't.
I wouldn't want to be problematic on the internet.
you wouldn't yeah i wouldn't want to be problematic on the internet dude i posted about it but uh i've been noticing like so we're like coming up on five months on
this thing and like the episodes that like the few that we've done were at the end you know
we stop recording and we say our goodbyes and i was like i feel good about that one
like we were awake we were energetic or whatever like those end up being fine no one really comments on them so i'm assuming no news is good news but the ones
were where we've been like like over the course of the last few months we've been like god damn
dude that episode fucking suck those are the ones that guys dm me about like two hours after i
released them which means they just got done listening to it and they're messaging me and
they're like hey i was gonna kill myself and then like throw my dog out the window but you uh this one really got me through it and the whole time i'm like what kind
of rapper do you like and you're like i don't know uh tallad quelly and then you're like have
you ever thought about like little unicorns and i'm like yeah like like the ones where we're just
dialing it in about like hip-hop and like insanity yeah those are the ones people we're just dialing it in about like hip hop and like insanity. Yeah. Those are the ones that guys DM.
When people like those, I would assume.
That's what I'm saying.
Guys DM about those and they're like, dude, today's episode kept me from drinking myself
I haven't been on the computer much lately.
I've been, you could say I've been in the zone.
By that, I don't mean anything by that.
By that, I mean, I just haven't been really I just uh just been looking at the wall just trying to you know take it one day at a time
yeah sorry man I thought you you started off casually like yeah i've just kind of been offline and you're like but i've been like i've been struggling dude like snub those i've been
thumbing the hammer back and listening to a lot of metallica like drinking a lot like a handily
yeah yeah i kind of put the clip in and pull it out and i i you know i chamber one and i throw
the gun in the wall it's always a back and forth with me though you know yeah yeah man actually i haven't i've been kind of staying off my phone lately because you know i've
given up
i've just been like i had to like oh by the way bro i'm not banned i just deactivated i just like
you know like you get busy like with things that matter. Like you just, you kind of start thinking about like what to put on your tombstone.
You start thinking about like what you're going to say, like in the letter, like on the way out.
Like, you know, you kind of just see like what's important.
You start thinking about like, well, you know, the rope might not break the neck.
The gun definitely does it, but it's messy.
Pills hurt.
I feel, I hear pill, you read about how bad pills hurt.
They hurt your stomach. I mean you rot yeah like a lot you know sometimes you just gotta kind
of unplug you know you you delete your social media and all the you know contacts off your phone
you quit your job you just start giving away your possessions yeah and you know you just you know you hope nobody finds it you know yeah you so you
delete your twitter delete your facebook you just you do a full digital wipe right you buy a fucking
vpn you get an old thinkpad from 2002 you start googling how to make bomb packs and bomb vests
you know stuff like that like some guys you know they get into woodworking or crypto they get really
into fucking crossfit like what happened with me is you know, they get into woodworking or crypto. They get really into fucking CrossFit. Like what happened with me is, you know, I had first it started with deactivating the Twitter.
And then it was just like I had to say goodbye to my friends and family on Facebook.
I had to get rid of the LinkedIn.
I mean, fuck it.
You know, I'm not finding a job.
I've been applying to jobs.
I can't find a fucking job.
So what the fuck, right?
And then, you know, it kind of snowballs, man.
Like you were telling me how you started running and now you're lifting every day.
You run every couple weeks it snowballs, right? so like with you and when they're running and lifting
like for me it was leading twitter and now like i live in a mud hole like right off i-22 going into
oregon and i've been building like loads of bombs it's like a hobby i'm into now you know some guys
get into fish tanks like they get sober they get into fish tanks they get into like like i don't
know fucking like rifles and shit you know, fucking, like, rifles
and shit. You know, the rifle guys on Twitter. Ha ha ha.
Those guys are funny. I've been getting into
making C4 bombs.
I've been getting
into making sort of, like, vests and stuff.
Pipe bombs, nails. Hey, we've got
our first ever, you know
how I told you I had a special segment ready?
Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna open an envelope from the credit union live on camera.
From your credit union?
Yeah.
I hope so.
What did you apply for?
I didn't.
Just the monthly expenditure.
Oh, yeah, the new segment for the credit union.
Oh, monthly expenditure.
Oh, your actual statement.
Your printed statement.
It says...
You know, I actually haven't put anything in my savings account since like February.
I just have everything in my checkings for the most part.
What's the checking looking like, player?
$4,200.
Let's see.
Let's hear $3,800.
I'm trying to...
I don't know how to look at these.
What did we...
I got confused.
I didn't really save up a whole lot at all.
That's okay, though.
You know what?
We'll try again next time.
What?
I have a savings account for the first time in my life at 27
and any amount of savings I hear about is good to me
so I'm sure you're doing fine
no I'm actually I'm doing okay
but it's because I don't really have
like
yeah I just have like
your normal shit
yeah do you pay on your car or is it paid off
it's paid off well
my
my parents like got it for me in high school.
It was like my first car.
Just sort of like a little dependable car.
But it hasn't broken down or anything.
I drove my Crown Victoria.
That was my will to me.
I drove my Crown Victoria until I couldn't drive anymore. Yeah, I've put like almost 90,000 miles on line.
It's, I mean, it's, the mileage is higher than that, but I've put, but I mean, it's in my name or whatever, but.
I mean, it's a Toyota.
Yeah, I mean, those motherfuckers will run to the butter.
Yeah, I got to get my oil changed.
I was going to yesterday, but I. Yeah, I gotta get my oil changed. I was going to yesterday, but I...
Yeah, I'm due again.
I got a sprinkler repaired this weekend.
And I went to Lowe's
because I needed to get...
Oh, you were telling me about this?
No, I went back to Lowe's.
I went back to Lowe's to get my supplies.
I might have told you about this.
But anyway, I got to get...
This is one of those segments where I know not one person, including me, cares.
But I'm choosing to drag this out.
Yeah, yeah.
So I go to Lowe's.
I got to get, like, 15 heads and, like, 21 nozzles or whatever,
but they're all like specialty,
not specialty,
but like,
um,
the range is different on,
it's,
it's all the same heads.
Uh,
but the nozzles are different cause I've got like,
uh,
different,
different distances and,
um,
different like,
uh,
rotations.
Okay.
I see what you're saying.
Yeah.
But yeah,
they didn't have everything I needed.
So I got a custom order it like have them like they didn't have everything I
needed on the shelves,
but I know they have them in the store,
but they don't.
Yeah.
Like on the online store,
they can get them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well,
they probably have them in the lows,
honestly,
but they don't have them all on the
shelves like that you can see and that's my story i like that when i would go to home depot
uh the people at lows this is just my experience maybe it's a franchise thing i don't know
people at lows are helpful almost to a fault kind of the way best buy people
are where it's like hey man what are you looking for and i'm like i'm just here to buy like uh
i have a hole in my wall i just need to buy like a mesh screen some like spackle paste
blah blah blah they're like yeah i'll they'll give me the whole thing people at home depot like you could die
like on the floor in the middle of like where they have like the the expensive shit to where
where everyone's at like like the the the outdoor seating area where you build the home theater when
you got the money you're retired you could die there and it would take 40 minutes for someone
to come up to you and be like hey are you good like they just don't i've wandered around home depot looking for baseboards
and i went to the baseboard area like where you'd find like just run-of-the-mill fucking
just they have them pre-made you know i'm talking about like pre-made shit this is when i was doing
like home remodeling you can buy like 200 feet of them or whatever for so you know so much amount of money um
but i was looking for a specific type and i remember like looking around and i saw a guy
in the smock and i was like hey and he like looked at me it's not that he didn't hear me he looked at
me and then he just like walked away which respect like well i've worked retail before like
sorry man i'm thinking about jacking off or going home like i'm getting help better go home first
yeah guys at lowe's are like hey what are you here for and i'm like i'm here for something
fucking specific and minuscule that who the fuck knows where it's at in this like
250 000 square foot warehouse oh yeah it's right there
what else do you need do you want to be a rewards member do you want a hand job do you want to have
sex like people alone like i want like i go to best buy i went to best buy to get another cable
for this microphone i'm using now didn't want anything else some guy was like hey are you here
for a tv deal and i'm like. But you're very sweet about it
and you're kind of jacked, man.
So, I mean,
you're looking good, dude.
How the fuck do I get it?
Like,
I'll hear your spiel, man.
Like, you look,
or like, you know,
hey, hey lady, like,
you know.
Yeah.
What's up?
Yeah.
No, they're nice at Best Buy.
I get a lot of electronic stuff
from Best Buy
even though it's like
20% more than getting it
from like
you know. Just buying it off
of Amazon or some shit. Or like Newegg or
whatever. Yeah. It depends.
But like, I got
a couple like, I got some of my
PC accessories from
Best Buy.
Not the main PC parts,
but just like. Random
shit. Yeah, just different stuff.
But most usually...
And this is really in the past couple years, I think.
Employees at places don't tend to ask me if I need help.
And that's not because I generally have a particularly commanding presence or whatever.
I tend to like – in places I'll walk like I know exactly where I'm going sometimes.
And half the time I have – I don't even know like where the story is.
I'll just walk confidently.
You just have direction with your steps. Yeah. I'll just walk confidently. You just have direction with your steps.
Yeah, I'll just walk confidently to an aisle, look at it like,
yep, this is not what I need, and then I'll walk somewhere else.
That is not me.
I like, I'm stubborn and I hate to ask for help,
but when I go to a place that has the thing I need
and I don't know where to look
I will wander around like Lowe's was different because I actually did not know I mean I knew
what I was looking for but I didn't know exactly where to find it but like in the times I've been
to like places like Best Buy for example like I was saying earlier people will be like you need
help and I'm I absolutely desperately need it but I'm like no no no no i'm gonna look around for about 45 i could ask you
where the usbc input cables are and i could get an answer from you right away but what i'm gonna
do is i'm gonna look around the gaming controller area like i need to be here and contemplate buying
a new one even though i don't need one and And then I'm going to go look at it.
I'm going to get to it, and I will find it.
I don't need you budding into my life.
This is my process here.
Yeah, I think the last time I asked an employee where something was,
I was very happy in the end because they didn't have any of it,
and so I knew I was very happy in the end because they didn't have any of it, and so I knew I was right.
I was just looking for a webcam, and I somehow, Best Buy did not have a single one because it had just been Black Friday.
I went to Academy to get a new mouthpiece because when I had my shit stolen in my car when you were there.
Yeah, because I broke it in half.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you broke it in half, like, hard.
Like, you were just just you were rock solid
yeah on fucking stone mode and you're like i'm breaking it yeah it's full neanderthal
and i was there to buy a new i had had a shitty one that wasn't so that most you did taekwondo
i don't know if you had to get a boil and bite mouthpiece so you boil it you bite it yeah it's
to your teeth so i had a shitty one that wasn't that it was just a one size fits all like really tight i didn't like it so i wanted to get a bull and bite one
they're only like eight bucks but i'm walking around academy and i was genuinely looking for
like the fight zone which is normally straight into the left but it wasn't in this case and so
i'm looking around and i wind up in the gun section and I was just looking at
the pistols there and they had the nine mil of this nine millimeter.
I've been looking for by Janik.
It's like a TPSF and nine.
I don't know.
It was a bad-ass.
Now it's the nine mil specifically that I've been wanting to buy for myself.
And I guess the guy saw me looking at it and he's like,
uh,
you're looking at this Taurus, which was under it. And I said, I'm not looking at the Taurus's like uh looking at this torus which was under it and i said i'm not looking
at the torus why would i buy that i want the janik and he was like all right well that could be yours
today uh house just passed a bill that said you don't need a permit to carry anymore hopefully
it goes through all the way and we can just you can just walk out of here and wear it out you can
have it in your pocket and i was like i didn't want to talk politics in that moment i just
saw a gun i've been looking for it's been i have not seen it on gun trader in a minute i have the
money i wanted to buy it and i was like so this i could walk out of here with this now now and he's like I mean yeah kinda
I mean kinda you just you know blah blah blah
like you know
I was like do you have nine he went through the whole
he went through his whole spiel I don't know the whole thing he was talking about
obviously I could not walk out of there I mean it's Texas I could
it's Academy though so it's different but like
they're
there's just shit
don't you have to wait like three days
it's some like i i literally
because like on texas gun trader or like some of the gun shows you can walk out of there with a
fucking assault rifle if you want it's not a big deal but academy the guy like immediately he was
going hard sell and i was like i might buy this and then he backtracked and was like well i think
maybe i need to see like a driver's license like it became too complicated
for me in that moment but anyway the point i'm trying to make is i was like do you guys uh
everybody's out of nine mil ammo and i don't want to buy it online because it's super fucking
expensive and i was and if i could get it for a reasonable price here i'd pick it up he's like
oh hell we haven't had nine mil five six months and i was like you tried to sell me this nine millimeter pistol right now
you were very hard on it you knew i wanted it i might have even bought it
and then i was like yeah i'm ready to buy it and then you were like
we don't got niama for it and you gotta like do stuff and i have to like it was clear i don't
think he wanted to do anything that day he he sold me. I was ready to buy it.
But he was like, yeah, I mean, I'd have to get a pen.
I'd have to find, I'd have to get me something to write with.
And you'd have to pull your ID out.
And I'd have to find out if you were like a raper or something.
And it just, the computer is nine feet to my left.
And I'm here now in this moment
and i'd have to like turn it on and i'd have to like ask you questions and so
it's a nice gun i i think maybe you should come back maybe like when i quit
like when i'm no longer because i mean i was gonna sell it to you but then i remembered i'd
have to like do stuff do they get commission on those i do that's a good question i don't because
i know that like we were talking about best buy i i know that like in the tv zone those guys do
get commissioned like on the high dollar shit like they absolutely do but i don't know if like
the gun people at academy do it was a dude they had it at like 380 bucks it was a used janet
and then and then once i was
looking at in that model were like 500 i was absolutely like gonna just pull the trigger on
it no pun intended but like he just when i was like yeah i'm interested in this pistol he just
like kind of fell apart yeah and it made me not want to buy it anymore like i i started thinking
maybe something's wrong with it is that why it's marked so because it's like a higher model janet
or whatever the one that I wanted.
And I couldn't find anywhere normally or whatever.
And he just fell apart on the closing end of the sale.
He was like, yeah, well, you know, I mean, you can't find 9mm nowhere.
You know, and, you know, I'd have to, you know, if you don'tL. Like, man, you know, you're going to have it in your car.
You know, he's probably maybe 20 years old.
And I really am.
I should be more familiar with the laws, but I'm really not.
I was like, I'm willing to give you $400 now and walk out here with this pistol.
And he's like, yeah, I mean, you know.
Oh, shit.
There's all sorts of things in this world.
You can buy $400.
You can buy $400.
You can buy, you know, you can go to Taco Bell and get 800 bean burritos.
It's too free one right now.
You could buy probably like maybe 187 condoms with it.
Maybe you could buy candy, you know.
He literally, obviously he wasn't saying that, but I was like, dude, anyway, I didn't end up getting it, but I wanted it really bad.
Yeah, I'll find it somewhere else, I guess, where a guy wants to actually sell me the motherfucker.
Yeah, I'm going to start getting you to buy me some under your name.
That would, dude, we would not get in trouble at all.
Especially because I announced it.
Yeah.
We would 100% not get visited by ATF or anything like that.
No.
It's okay if you're friends.
Being in Texas, I know you're kidding, but I'm like, I don't even know if that's not true. I don't know if there's a clause that's like, eh.
I know you can just buy a gun out of a guy's trunk, but is it really that easy?
In Texas, you just need a bill of sale, I'm pretty sure.
It's like buying a trailer.
Yeah.
I mean, the gun is to be like
rightfully owned
and everything obviously
like with the papers
there has to be
it's not like a trade of hands
that's
yeah
yeah it can't just be like
yeah well I bought a stolen gun
but like
I didn't steal it
you know
yeah
I drove my car drunk
but it ain't my car
I mean
it's somebody
it's somebody
it's my brothers it's my brother's.
It's Murphy's Law, man.
Makes no sense.
The cop's like, dude, honestly, you got me.
Old Uncle Murphy.
Old Uncle, goddamn.
I mean, I pulled over a lot of motherfuckers.
Not everybody invokes the righteous old Uncle Murph on my ass.
Yeah.
I know you killed nine women on the way here, but you got me.
I mean, oh, boy.
I've been getting back into asthma lately.
It's rid of my thing now.
I had it as a kid, and then they told me I would grow out of it.
Yeah, like autism.
I think that's what they just tell fat kids.
Like, when you're heaving and hoeing on the playground and you can't play dodgeball like I was when I was a little kid and I was fat.
Yeah.
I think maybe to, like, you know, because I'm, like, a younger millennial, older, whatever the fuck.
So, like, there was that push to be, like.
I think it's safe to say you're a quirky zoomer
I could probably yeah I'm like a
I'm like a men zoomer you know like I zoom
and men are like oh you know
that was the worst thing I ever said
I should probably kill myself
dude you suck
but uh but
there's not as many as that one that won't be named
trans tender
that sucked man yeah that was bad yeah we almost ended i almost ended the whole
you were so you brought it up three times
like like one i said at the very beginning in the middle you were like
god i can't stop at the end you were like fuck you dude
uh whether the worst was it was like a three minute class it was like a three minute setup too
yeah no it was like a story i told or something yeah
yeah i remember them tell me i had it when i was a kid and then i would grow out of it Yeah, no, it was like a story I told or something.
Yeah, I remember them telling me that when I was a kid and then I would grow out of it.
And I think that was them just being like, you can't do the monkey bars and you can't play tetherball because you are 4'2 and 110 pounds.
So, I mean, you know, you... That's how the Latinas be built.
Am I right?
Even you backed off that one toward the end.
I said, that's right.
Yeah.
Man, I'm so tired.
Yeah, I'm tired.
I posted on Twitter, we saw i got a i got a gas station
delta 8 cartridge and i think it's just heroin that they vaporized or something i was fucked up
dude i was lit and i've had delta 8 and cbd and it you know i don't smoke weed so it kind of like
got me a little something but i hit this little jewel looking thing it was like ten dollars at
the gas station the guy was like yeah it's like weed and i was like enough for me all right that's fine
and i ripped it a bunch of times in the car and i was having like a panic and i was like nodding
off and i was like is it i was like this is not even like spice or k2 like this is like
vegetable glycerin and like fentany analog. I'm fucked up, dude.
It felt like we kind of,
but I just felt like I took
a 10 Xanax. I was fucked up.
Then I paid for it, so I'm going to smoke
the whole goddamn thing.
There was a moment there where I was like,
yeah, I feel like I brained.
I felt, this is healthy.
This was good for me.
Whatever it is, it's definitely...
Makes you live longer yeah
i uh i had an energy drink today called science
those are pretty i like science man it was like it was pretty good
but like like you drink something called like rain you're like okay
well you know
I'm here for the party
it's regal
you know
zions is like
it's like if you found
an energy drink with a blank
can and somebody
and you had one word
somebody held a gun to your head and
was like what's the name of this this is like uh science science i uh there was one
uh it was called uh i think dude so like there's the venom gas station ones but i think that like
the gas station by my house and when i lived lived in South Austin was like buying some off of like Alibaba because it was called Entune.
N-Tune, like the normal spelling, and it was silver and black and it had like a souped up car on the front.
And like the ingredients were all faded out.
Like they looked like old cans, but they were like 80 cents.
Like they weren't even like a 99 cent.
It was so dirt cheap and it was 16 ounces.
So I'd buy it before I go to work and it would yak me the fuck up.
I'm pretty sure I was just buying like Topo Chico with like methadrone in it or something.
Because it was like I never went to any other gas station and saw it
and then when i would ask is like hey do you have you guys have any in tune in stock the stripes
would be like do we have any what but it was just this shitty gas station like i would buy it there
i would go to work and it would keep me up but it was like the ingredients was like for neurotropic focus and power brewed in fucking dubai like yeah just like it was like a tea
soda type it tasted like kombucha and like sprite it was a fucked up taste but it yacked me the fuck
up more than any energy drink i'm pretty sure i was just drinking something illegal like a hundred
percent it was like it's some something they like tried to get the FDA to approve, and then the FDA just said no.
Absolutely not.
And so they were like, well, how about we just still sell it?
Yeah, yeah.
We said not FDA approved, not for human consumption.
How about we still sell it?
That's how the guy at the gas station was with this with this like delta 8 pin i was like
because i've bought the i've bought the delta 8 like like weed before and it's just like cb it's
just weed it's like cbd weed but it's not like there's no thc in it and i and he was like yo
don't buy the pre-rolls buy the buy the cartridge and i was like i don't want to you know i've tried
them before they don't work and he's like that
one to your left called space cake does and it had like a alien on it and it was like eating
dessert and i was like yeah that looks like something i could spend 10 bucks on like it's
a whole gram like whatever and i was like yeah i'll take your word for it and like i said i got
in the car and i hit it and like delta eight is supposed to be like half the strength of weed. So it gets you kind of high.
I had a problem when I was hitting,
like I was in the car.
I couldn't park the car.
I couldn't park it.
And it's got a QR code that you can pull your phone up on and look at like
the research behind it,
like how they make it.
But like anybody can make a landing page,
go to any QR code.
Like,
I'm not kidding,
dude, I hit this fucking thing and I felt like I was like, they make it but like anybody can make a landing page go to ndqr code like i'm not kidding dude i
hit this fucking thing and i felt like i was like i felt like i smoked opium in like 1842
in like a cave in china so i was so fucked up i was like yeah i'm i can't even breathe
and like i told my girlfriend who smokes weed and she was like babe stop smoking gas station
pens and i was like no why would i ever like why like why would i she's like let me hit it and she was like babe stop smoking gas station pens and i was like no why would i she's like let me hit it and she hit it and she'd like you know you know she did her thing she went
and played with a dog on the floor for like an hour and a half but for me i'm like yeah this
feels like heroin and like lsd and like fake weed from 2009 and you follow the qr code and it's like
this was made in a lab and you're like, I guess it's cool.
It was made in a lab.
That's what happens when I drink too much root beer.
Yeah, because you're a totally
sober guy, right?
Yeah, that's my thing.
Man, it's fun.
I have some crazy stories of just, you know.
I went to bed at 8pm the other day, bro.
Yeah.
Dude, gaming is like not as fun as it should be my buddy like you're just like like actually focused on it and like ben avery from like ben ben like like tim dylan's guy ben
he was telling me like he'd been sober like five years we had this group chat with our friend
cameron and they went to high school together but but Cameron's my best friend and they're both sober
Cam's like three years and he's like five and Cam's like uh Cam recently like picked up weed again
but he was always even when he was like a druggie like me was an anti-weed guy like we just did coke
and like pills and shit and uh Ben literally drinks soda and like smokes cigars and like does
push-ups and has panic attacks.
That's what he does.
But anyway, Cameron's like, dude, man, I'm telling you,
Ben, you don't have to drink a beer.
You don't got to do coke.
You don't got to eat a Vicodin.
If you just smoke a bunch of weed and freak out for like an hour
and you can survive that hour, video games rock.
He's like, dude, you just got to cry
and think you're the worst guy alive for like an
hour maybe two tops you gotta really freak out i mean and i'm saying you gotta smoke you gotta
face a whole blunt we're all like why would we do that and he's like look man i didn't even like
weed when i was a drug addict and now that i'm sober i still don't like it but if you smoke a
whole blunt to yourself and then you play fucking outlast or you play fucking like you know
star wars what a battlefront dude i'm telling you man it takes like two to three tries and
you're crying the whole time but at the end you're like wow gaming rocks again and like me and ben
are like no dude i think we're fine like he's like no y'all are missing out like weeds where
it's at you just gotta freak out and like and cry not to try to jack off for like two hours and then it's really cool i'm like
no dude if i'm gonna do drugs again i'm gonna do cocaine i'm gonna do oxycontin like i'm not
gonna smoke weed and have a panic attack and try to play video games actually it's pretty much what
i just did but yeah yeah he's exactly what you just described. Yeah, what I described earlier. You're like, yeah, he's stupid.
Well, it was fake.
What I did, I had this lab creation, and then I started a dogfighting.
I tried to podcast that I've been doing for four months.
How many episodes do we have now?
Dude, I just did a count, man.
This will be the 41st.
That's not any type of milestone. Well, I was did a count, man. This will be the 41st. That's not any type of milestone.
Well, I was thinking about 50.
I feel like we're more prolific than most of them, maybe.
Or maybe people just start off doing them once a week.
I don't think we started off with any sort of following.
So obviously we had a leg up,
I guess like in between the two of us.
Well,
I guess,
but I like,
Oh,
I'll see people doing their like hundredth episode.
And I'm like,
I feel like this podcast has been around for like two years,
but I know it hasn't,
but it's like,
I don't know.
We've been doing it four and a half months.
This,
uh,
May 8th will be five.
And like,
I count the episodes because I'm like,
oh, when are we going to get to the 50th?
Because that's like, I guess we should do something like
try to make it good or something.
Try to make it a good episode or whatever.
But,
no, like we're coming up on 50 and I'm,
yeah, I'm like, I I'm telling like I talk to people who have
like big money podcasts or whatever that I'm friends with and they're like yeah dude you can
make like 90k a year and I'm like don't say that and they're like no you're doing really good four
months in man dude by the end of the year you could make five billion dollars a day or you know
they're gassing me up too much to where I'm like, look, man, I need you to tell me this is going to fall apart.
Because if you start talking to me like I'm going to make any real money,
and if you start saying people are going to listen to this,
I'm going to freak out and then I'm going to tell Thomas I have AIDS.
Or you're going to be like, yeah, I have to go back to work for the rest of my life. I mean, if you did, it wouldn't really change a whole lot for me.
No.
We would text each other pictures of our buttholes and shit and be like.
Not that I wouldn't care.
Yeah.
Wouldn't really.
All right.
So do you still want to record on Monday?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, man, I know you're probably having an episode right
now but uh are we doing the primo on monday like here's a picture of my ball sack by the way
it's like uh it's like i understand that i pushed us back because i was eating soup and it took a
long time for it to cool off but you need to quit pushing us back just because all you've got is, you know, one of the worst diseases of all time.
Hey, Jake, I know you call it.
You're calling in because you have the HIV virus that causes AIDS.
But like you really are slacking right now.
And this is a two way street.
So I know you have AIDS and you're dying.
But like you need to come on the premium drill set he would do a juggling act.
So, like, we need to get it together.
Yeah, I'm kind of, like, you'll talk to me, like, while I'm looking at my phone.
That's like, I don't care.
Yeah, no, I know.
I know when you're looking at your phone, because I'll be like, hey, do you like fucking cannolis?
And you'll be like, have you ever thought about space at all?
And I'm like, what?
You're talking about an Italian dessert.
I've never had cannolis, but...
You know, is that a problem?
Just because I'm not Italian, you think I'm not as good as you?
You look Italian.
I don't.
Yeah, you do. You look like an Italian guy do you look like an italian guy you're like five
four you're like 400 pounds i'm down to 350 actually i that text message you sent me
so i think me and thomas are both sub 200 for the first time in years
uh no i was for like i was for like two hours because I got really dehydrated.
Okay, so you're back plus 200?
Probably.
I was at 196 for a little bit.
Like April morning?
I probably walk around at like right at 200.
201, 202.
Yeah.
That's comfortable for me, yeah.
But, like, even, like, December, I was walking around, like, 212.
Yeah, I was probably, like, 215 November, 216.
Yeah.
And then, like, a year ago, actually similar, similar probably to i think 215 last year
around this time because i my weight didn't really like it'll fluctuate but
it would usually be like between 208 and 212 for a long time. And now it's just because I'm working
a lot.
It's hard to eat, dude. It's hard to eat when you work out
outside.
And also,
at my old landscaping job,
my boss would always
buy us lunch, but it would always be fast food.
Yeah.
So that was automatically
getting an extra
3000 calories a day
yeah yeah and now like a dirty
3000 too yeah and
now I'll like pack my lunch
and I'll have like a sandwich
and an apple and like
fruit snacks and
pretzels and I'm like I think this
is what a lunch is
that's what a lunch is for a fifth grader.
Yeah.
I should be packing like a rotisserie chicken.
Yeah, I remember like working outside,
I would just burn like 3,000, 4,000 calories
just like working 12 hours a day,
like just in the heat, you know.
And then like have like one taco from the taco guy.
Cause if I eat too, I would be too tired to work through the rest of the day.
And then like, I went from two 65.
That's how I went from like, people were like, how'd you,
I went from like two 65 to two 30.
That was one of my heaviest.
Um,
Oh, I just lose the weight.
And I'm like, Oh, I work outside all day and I eat one taco per day.
And then like I have half a Mickey's and then then i go to bed like that's pretty much it yeah i lost i started losing
weight in the first place just because i was working night shifts yeah and so i lost like 20
pounds from that and then i was like wait, this feels like way better.
Yeah. Even though I wasn't even like,
particularly healthy.
It wasn't a healthy cut,
or whatever,
yeah.
No,
I mean,
it was healthier than,
what I had been doing,
because I'd also like sobered up and stuff,
but,
I was like,
ah,
well,
you know,
we might as well,
keep going,
whatever.
Yeah.
Now,
you know,
IFBB Pro, um, Yeah. yeah now you know ifbb pro um yeah
so what do you squat like 950 yeah something like that
right now i could not do a regular squat i don't think i think my knees would blow out dude i'm not
kidding no it's just because of my foot but no i'm just saying in general like
when i when i do do squats i'm like when you do do my knees when i do yeah when i do do squat when
i go to the squat where i could pop a fucking turd out um like i will do what i think is a
heavy weight for to squat for me and then i will feel like the end like where my acl is will just
be like tight and i'm like hmm I could put another 20 on here.
That could be fine.
The trick is to not know where your ACL is.
Yeah, that's the hot ground.
Anytime I have knee problems, what you do is you just...
Keep crushing them.
You just add weight you know that's it's like uh you know
uh you have to destroy the muscle to build it back stronger for me i've i've destroyed
95 of the cartilage in my body and i'm letting you said you said well she's spitting on it riding
it and she like whenever whenever the muscles give out she can't do that no more it's kind of
yeah yeah yeah um the only cartilage you need is in your is in uh is in your nose and your ears.
You don't need tendons really, I guess.
Those are fake.
Folks, one thing I like to do
sometimes
before the show, it's my little prep,
is I'll spend all day
clearing poison
ivy off fences,
which I'm pretty allergic to.
Then I'll get an asthma attack from it,
and then the next day I'll wake up just covered in hives, but it's sort of one of my little routines nowadays. Dude, I was literally in the middle of the best story I'd ever told. Dude
I was literally in the middle of the best story
I'd ever told
And what did you do
You pulled me out of the car and you punched me in the face
And his name
His name was Justice
And he rolled in the tower
And he had something nice to say
I uh
I think what I'm gonna do
What I'm gonna do next when I hit my next weight goal
Which is 170
Yeah
Is I think I'm gonna start an Instagram page
Called like
You know
The modern Psycho I think I'm going to start an Instagram page called, like, you know, the modern psycho.
Where are you trying to hit?
170.
Are you transitioning or something?
What's 170?
Okay.
Like, a legitimate answer or, like, a fake one?
Which one do you want?
Are you fighting again?
I want to compete, yeah.
And I don't want...
Dude, night that are
at my weight like 190 like even if i got to 180 those guys are like you know like six percent
body fat guys who probably walk around at 220 no they're like yeah i'm here guys like me
yeah guys i'm probably like 75 body fat
i'm trying to think about what a guy like that,
like what that would look like on you.
Those guys exist, but I'm like,
what that would look like on you,
and it's very, like,
you're just swole up in red behind the camera,
and you're like, what's up?
Yeah, I'm taking a listen.
I tried to play Destiny today,
and I had a heart attack trying to turn the
no i like the idea of being like five nine 165 75 body fat
he's like you're beyond skinny fat it's like you're not even
my belly's hanging down to my knees.
But it's like it only weighs like 10 pounds.
You're just so malnourished that it's just all fat.
Just an impossible amount of skin hanging around.
I'm like one of those guys who loses a bunch of weight.
Yeah, you were 500 pounds and you're like, yeah, I'm 5'9".
And those measurements, 5'9", 165 should be pretty pretty athletic but i just get that way from like like dead skin just looking at the
computer for too long yeah yeah like you're on tinder and you're like some girls like you're just you're talking hot sexy and
you're like yeah i'm 6'1 160 and the girl you know maybe she works out she does the math in
her head she's like god this guy's got to be jacked like at most nine percent body fat like
he's got to be fucking just adonis yeah girls you're like yeah but yeah maybe some percentage
yeah and you're like i'm i'm 6'1 i'm i'm 170 like with clothes on but i'm just i'm just right
now i'm i'm real lean you know and then you know she shows up and you're just like you literally
look like a jellyfish and like basketball shorts and like an old t-shirt and you're like hey what's
up yeah i'm just imagining like if uh like it'd be like if rick ross went on hunger strike
like dj collins
like yeah i'm trying to get down to 190
but i'm gonna do it
in two months
if you just tuned in jake is
coughing up a storm yeah if you
just tuned in i have uh up a storm yeah if you just tuned in I have
uh
most people like to tune in
about an hour and four minutes
an hour and five minutes into the fucking show
most people love to go to the
I'm gonna catch the goodbyes
I'm gonna catch the hey check out the pre
hey by the way if you're listening to this
you should check out pandejo
dot com slash patreon time uh or something like that check out the hey by the way if you're listening to this you should check out pendejo.com
slash patreon
time
or something
like that
one of those
patreon.com
slash pendejo
time
because this
is the freebie
and so if you
listen to this
believe it or not
you're getting
this one
on the slide
dude
yeah
it's on the house
it's on the house
you're getting
content like this for free.
But we're not that generous.
No.
You go to the Patreon and that's where we're just fucking cranking out.
You want the good ones.
Well, you got them.
You want some slightly worse ones.
You pay five bucks a month like 253 other guys do.
Actually, probably 15 of those.
Are also paying.
And that's what we're going to call.
You can make that 16.
Yeah.
It'd be a 16.
That's the age that, by the way, that's the age that Thomas really likes.
By the way, that's the end of the episode
Thomas loves
Yeah because
That age
15 to 16
I just want to learn
How to dance
No he loves those
Age of women
I learned how to
Salson
At that age
Alright y'all thanks