Pendejo Time - Homeless Guy Bar Initiative

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

giving homeless guys what they want, not what they need. Support the Show.

Only warm up I need is a little H2O, you feel me? Just a glass of water to get you going these days? Nah, just a little heat. Heat and? Heat to, oh yeah, I'm warm. Okay, so just a little warmth, that's enough to make it worth your while. Just a snuggle, then you can do your podcast. Yeah.

I think I might be addicted to positivity. You ever think about that? No. You don't strike me as an overly positive guy, but if you are looking to turn your life around. I feel like secretly I am, though. Secretly, like, I have a really positive outlook on things and i also like always look for i always like look for the the good the the good things in people you know what i mean uh for the um

you know what it's called when there's good stuff in there i always look for the good thing in the person like traits characteristics that yeah yeah yeah i mean okay maybe you know yeah i usually just look for ways that i could exploit people that's kind of the guy that yeah because you're more of like a thief and like a like a conniver yeah you're more of like a bad person than me i mean i'm more like in a different life i know i would have done really good things for people and that's really comforting for me to know like in another world like i am a really good person in this one in this one i would but i like don't have time because i have to work so much you know like these last couple weeks i've had to work like 15 hours yeah and so like

between all that shit and like looking at my looking at my phone and stuff like i don't really looking at my phone having a you know on sundays i gotta get groceries you know so i would you know there's a lot of stuff i would do if I didn't have to do. Well, to be completely honest, man, like a lot of the shit that people do that they think is like good or like helping people. Like my brother used to go to the Galveston, one of the shelters there and work at the soup kitchen like volunteer or whatever. And he would tell me about that. And I'd be like be like dude you're like that's stupid because homeless people don't want soup this is texas okay it's it's hot all the time maybe you get a couple months of a little little cold a few few weeks of nice weather homeless

people in galveston wanted alcohol so you should shut down you should start a petition to shut down the soup kitchen and replace it with just like a free bar that they can all go to and they don't have to pay tab you know what i mean yeah because homeless people like to drink alcohol and if you provide them a safe place to drink alcohol for free nothing bad could happen to anybody involved in that enterprise well not enterprise in the charity yeah and then i would also like pay for sex workers and stuff for them too and yeah yeah that's honestly yeah because a lot of them are homeless and they stink a lot of them if they had a girlfriend who was cool they would feel like i gotta stop being a loser you make a great point so many guys are like so close to being homeless and then they get a girlfriend that makes them uh do their dishes and brush their teeth and then that changes their

whole lives it happened to me you know um and so that's a good point okay i'm 100 and i'm glad you're with me on this i'm glad that we can't i came to you with this idea uh so we burned down all the soup kitchens in texas and then we replaced them with bars where homeless people can go and drink alcohol for free as much as they want. And also, we get sex workers to them. We give them girlfriends, quote-unquote girlfriends, that tell them to brush their teeth. Yeah, and the girls get paid and stuff. The girls get paid really well. Yeah, they get paid like $300, $400 a week.

Yeah, something like that. I don a week um yeah i get something like that you know and then i don't know what number you were thinking for that i was thinking probably like five or six thousand dollars a week okay i mean that's that's okay uh you're more generous you're better than me you're just yeah because well it's all gonna be money that we were using on food stamps right um great and honestly yes because people don't want cold ass food they want they want like chicken wings and want hennessy and pussy and chicken wings that's what that's what that maslow's hierarchy of fucking why hennessy why'd you say hennessy jake because hennessy is good it is good it's good i'm not a big i'm not a big brown liquor guy i feel

like i feel like i've got i feel like i've got some type of genetic disorder where whenever i have whiskey i just like like even if it's jack dude and i feel like jack is like not even alcohol like fireball jack any of that stuff i just feel like i'm gonna die but i can have vodka and gin and stuff and i feel normal i feel in many ways like nothing has even come into my body and like i'm much stronger well i mean on the on the note of of i mean i guess if we want to be safe then maybe we just do clear liquor we do clear liquor at the homeless guy bar it's rubbing alcohol maybe maybe. With like Kool-Aid packets in it. Yeah.

Yeah. Sex workers for them. Yeah, you make a good point. We take away, we divert state funding from EBT, food stamps, and, you know, like baby formula and shit. And we put it into these bars. Because, look, I have spoken, I have a a couple my friends in my life who've previously been homeless and uh i talked to a couple homeless guys when i used to work downtown and would give them cigarettes when i was a bouncer of the four people that i've surveyed in my life that either

are homeless or were the thing that you want more than anything usually is to get drunk or fucked up on something and to find a place to jack off privately so part three we've got booze we've got sex workers part three of the homeless guy bar initiative is we just uh we give them places to beat off maybe like one of those soundproof rooms yeah maybe your apartment no i don't want to do that i don't want to i don't want to volunteer my apartment. I think they should all go in your apartment and do it in the bathroom. I don't think so. No, they won't do it in the regular rooms. They'll just do it in the bathrooms. I don't want that.

I want to help people, and you're trying to make a joke. I want to make this good. And we'll give them toilet paper so they can jack off as much as they want in there. I won't open my door to them. We'll also have wipes in the shower, so if they want to jack off in the shower, they can. And we'll have sex toys in the shower. You know, it's frustrating. Mounted to the walls like such.

So you're trying to take a shower in there, and there's just like 40 dildos. I just hear from the other side of the house. You're like, I'm actually, you've got family over, and you're like, I'm actually... You've got family over, and you're like, I'm actually trying to help people right now. So that's what's going on in the bathroom. There's a lot of people helping each other in there.

I was like, son, it's just the sounds of the most depraved sex acts you can imagine. And there's like 40 guys in my guest bathroom, the really small one. And I was like, what is that? Oh, I'm helping homeless people out right now. Me and Thomas, we used the money from the show. We wanted to give back, you know, because everything, things have been going good, you know? And so we wanted to give back.

So we started the Homeless Guy Bar Initiative and then that translated to the Getting Prostitutes for Homeless Guys program and then that translated to getting them Hennessy and then that translated to having them getting them hennessy and then that translated to having them jack off and fuck each other by bathroom yeah because it's like you meet a nice girl at the free bar you want to take her home you don't have a home you can take her to jake's place and then you can pretend that's your home for a night you know and yeah and then it's cool because in the morning if you don't have a job you don't have to go anywhere else you don't have to leave yeah well that's that's the cool thing about go

to the bar go back to the bar get shitty drunk go back and you poop on the steps on the way back on the way back exactly apartment yeah like i i really people talk about harm reduction, and I seriously believe in it because if you give people the tools that they need to survive, like alcohol and having sex with prostitutes, then they can lift themselves up by their bootstraps, which is the entire point of the American dream. Because rich people have alcohol and hookers, horse. You know what I mean? It's easy for them. So why can't homeless guys have it all day? You know what I mean? Yeah.

You know, my step great-great-granddad, Antonio Valtonio, came from Italy to this country with nothing in his pockets but five pennies and a condom and also one of those airplane bottles of Pink Whitney. Wow, I didn't know Pink Whitney was that old. Interesting. Yeah, the stuff they sell now is a little bit different.

So you're an heir to the Whitney fortune? I'll let you tell your story. I'm sorry. Go ahead. Yeah, well, he actually, funny, he was dating Pink at the time. So he got a lot of free Pink Whitney. Anyway, and he ended up, you know, when he was on the, whenever he got to America, he came here with just that little bottle.

Five pennies and a condom. Italian-sized condom and five pennies. And by the time he died, he had over 25 cents and three condoms. And then a full – a fifth of Pink Whitney. Wow, that's inspiring. Yeah, he got hit by an elk. Clydesdale. Yeah, he could have gone way further

if people had honestly thought with their hearts instead of their wallets back then and opened up the Homeless Guy Bar initiative. Yeah. Because I just, i don't know i just see people wasting their time feeding guys soup the motherfucker does not want soup he wants a camel wide he wants a camel filtered cigarette he wants like nine to twelve course banquets and then he wants a frozen pizza and then he wants to have sex with a prostitute

and then he wants to smoke cocaine and check it out all that stuff's awesome and I think it's important that we give people what they want we don't give people giving people what they need is fucking stupid people oh people need food people need shelter from the cold

suck my dick no one wants things they need. No one wants healthcare. No one wants public transportation. No one wants affordable education or affordable housing. No one wants those things. If we wanted them, we would have them. What people want is fucking stuff that makes their pee-pee feel good and stuff that makes their brain feel good and then stuff that helps them go to sleep at night.

That's it. Yeah, we got a drive-through service here. You get a slice of lemon meringue pie and a blowjob. Exactly. You can keep the blowjob, take the pie home to your family. Don't take the blowjob home to your family. That's gross. Don't, don't.

It could be called Tommy's Dixon Desserts. And it could be called uh tommy's dixon desserts and it could be like a 50 style diner i love that dixon dessert drive-thru and you could be like bob's big boy and you got the little gay little in and out guy hat on and you're holding up a lemon meringue pie in one hand and in the other hand just a set of nuts and a dick yeah or a um a severed vagina that way it wouldn't be gay I don't okay fine yeah whatever whatever your motivations holding it like a scalp just like by the hair yeah fucking like a comanche yeah there you go that sounds awesome okay and Tommy's Dixon Desserts Drive-Thru. And once guys are done drinking and they're eating their chicken wings and they've had sex with their prostitute

and they fucked each other at my bathroom, after all that, guys get a hankering for something sweet to eat. And, oh, boy, Tommy's Dixon Desserts Drive-Thru has just what you need To satisfy that craving You go in You get a slice of lemon meringue pie You eat it in your car Like in and out

Yeah Drive-by cream pies 100% Wow that would be good If When homeless guys get back on their feet And they get busy working At the fucking

At McDonald's or whatever And they're working 60 hour weeks Just to afford a studio apartment Drive Yeah yeah Drive-by cream pies Is a great like quick service You know and they're working 60-hour weeks just to afford a studio apartment. Yeah, yeah. Drive-by cream pies is a great quick service brothel you could run. Look at how many ideas. Yeah, that sounds really safe.

Yeah. A brothel where, by default, you are allowed to come unprotected into the woman. Quickly. Yeah, that sounds... Yeah, not. Well, look, here's the problem quickly. Yeah, it sounds. Yeah, not. Well, look, here's the problem is that people this very like hugs

and kisses like liberal world is way too concerned with safety. People are they are way too concerned with security and you know, ring cameras and I don't want to get hurt. I don't. This is very stupid and nothing good is ever done carefully in order to really solve the problem of the unhoused

or the homeless or fucking hobos whatever you want to call them again you need to give them what they want not what they need and you need to put them in as much danger as humanly possible and you need to put us in danger in the process too i'm open to the idea of arming every single one of them i don't know what that would do, really, for them to help them. They already build shit out of, like, PVC and stuff. Yeah, they build entire apartments on, like, next to the fucking porta-potties and shit at construction sites. Yeah.

They build them out of, like, Legos and, like, pieces of tarp and stuff. Very innovative people. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know kind of I guess by necessity so they don't die but it's good the government city governments help them out so much you know like they'll come in with heavy equipment and like like level everything in case they steal their stuff like in case homeless people want to put it like a slab foundation down they'll just level their entire camp and

burn everything in front of them. And take them to jail. Yeah, they take them to jail so that they can network. Yeah, so they can network and also while they're in jail, a mansion is being built in that spot and they don't know yet. We should do that for a show. We should bulldoze a homeless

camp and throw them all in jail for a year. And when they come out, there's a big ass mention there for free and it says what's up homeless people welcome to your house and then they have we have a mr beast come on and all the homeless people it's like 500 of them all of them compete and only one of them gets to live in the house, and the other 499 get euthanized. I'm down for that, for sure. It's really evil. And this will be – it'll go for 20 seasons. I'm down. There's a season every day.

Here's the thing. I am 100% on board with that, primarily because I think truly that as we kind of spiral down the content drain, right? Like people film themselves like pretending to eat hot dogs really fast to where it looks like they're sucking penis for like 20 bucks a month on TikTok, you know, in like Times Square, right? So like, you know, we could, all of this is doable you know from the foot from the homeless guy bar to the you know dry uh drive-by cream pies to tommy's dicks and desserts drive through uh to homeless guy mansion you know uh yeah mr beast uh where we just sort of

i guess it's not a genocide more of more of like when you eliminate a class of people. Yeah, we completely grind them up like a meat grinder. We make a meat grinder the size of the Astrodome. For you youngins, they used to have a big dome in Houston called the Astrodome, and it looked like a huge white titty. And they had a rodeo there, and the astros would play there and we build a meat grinder the size of that uh the whole the the entrance the big portal the meat grinder uh where you put the meat in you know is like two and a half miles wide and you can see it from space and uh the

winner of the homeless guy mansion competition he gets to airlift the other 499 homeless guys in a big pot by a helicopter and throw them in the meat grinder. And then we give the guy, that homeless guy that won, like, 28. We give him the GDP of, like, Namibia. Give him, like, $48 billion. Just something crazy. You see what he does with it. Yeah. Seems like getting that pussy.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, for sure. It does. does yeah that's what it stands for i think uh i want to you know i've worked with mr beaks a lot just being in the industry you know and one set one thing i will say about him is he's got a sensitive side that most people don't see. Mr. Beaks, a lot of people think, oh, he's just a YouTuber. Oh, he's just, all he does is give money away. All he does is American Squid Games. give money away all he does is american squid games you know but underneath all that underneath the charisma and the charm and the dashing good looks and the billionaire lifestyle and the you know rumors of a girthy cock he's got a lot to offer you know um we've spent some long nights

together yeah you know just stargazing and talking about our plans for the you know the future we're gonna build me and him and lex friedman and elon yeah yeah i love jeff bezos and um and uh the guy from from Ryan Seacrest also yeah from E you know yeah I'm down yeah yeah

I'm glad that you've been able to build your network up lately yeah it's really sad watching you try to do it cause honestly like sometimes I'll be hanging out

with all the SNL people and we'll be like we'll be doing like Trump parodies and stuff and we'll be like honestly like being super sick and and stuff, and we'll be, like, honestly, like, being super sick. And then I'll, like, look at you, and you're, like, you know, bitch-ass Twitter page or whatever, and I'll see you, like, just still talking to people I was talking to, like, years ago. And it's just, it makes me laugh.

Not in a mean way, you know, it just makes me laugh thinking about how far I've come. Yeah. Well, I'm really glad, I'm glad that you're working, I'm glad that you got the SNL gig. You make it seem like I've come. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, I'm really glad. I'm glad that you're working. I'm glad that you got the SNL gig. You make it seem like I'm jealous. I'm not necessarily jealous at all. You're kind of passing it off like you write for the show, that you're on it, but you're not. You have to have sex with Bowen Yang ten times a night to get him. Not even ten times, actually.

It's like way less than ten. And I don't even have to. Oh, okayen yang 10 times a night uh to get him not even 10 times actually it's like way less than 10 and i don't even have to oh okay you enjoy it oh and it's actually you know i as the head writer you just you just draw on guys dicks no yeah i just put a lot of energy into the show that people don't see you know maybe my ideas don't make it onto the show maybe people don't let me into the writer's room maybe people don't let me within 10 miles maybe i don't get to be in the building you know you're right maybe lauren michaels has a restraining order against me maybe i have his blood and i'm using it to maybe i have his semen and i'm making a new lane Michaels with my seed also. Oh, nice, like a chimera.

Yeah, a chromosomal nightmare. Yeah. That's beautiful, man. But at the same time, you know, that's what Chris Farley had to do to get on probably. Yeah, that's true. You look at guys like Dan Aykroyd, like Fleming Wimming, you know, just different guys who were on SNL.

God, I love Fleming Wimming, you know, just different guys who were on SNL. God, I love Fleming Wimming. He was so good. He had that sketch where he was like, boy, you better go fetch the paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the kid went to go fetch the paper, and then he hit his ass in the head with a 50 cal outside the kitchen window and blew his head off. Blew his fucking head off.

Literally, he didn't need to use, the funny part, he didn't need to use the 50 cal. It was just, his son was like 10 feet out the kitchen window getting the paper. He said, boy, go out there and fetch that paper. And then flimbing, whimming,

so every time he racks it and just lets it fly and turns the kid's body into fucking thick paste, gets me every time, man. Yeah. Makes me laugh so good. Yeah, or the Christopher The Christopher Walken one We need more femme boys

Yeah that's pretty good. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I got a fever. The only cure is more Femboys. Yeah, I remember that. Honestly, here's the thing, man, and I'm not even joking. If they redid that sketch and they said that, that would be funny. I would laugh at that. that would be funny.

I would laugh at that. But I feel like, you know, I feel like they're just chained to the same old ideas, you know what I mean? Just stuff about Kate McKinnon being Hillary or something. Yeah, you don't really see much funny stuff on there. I mean, there are stuff on there i mean there are people on there who are funny yeah you know i'm not saying nobody who's associated with

snl is funny it's just what becomes the final product is often unfortunately so filtered well i i was talking to ben about this the other day but I was like and I'm saying this like we were bullshitting about it and I was like who is it for genuinely I'm not kidding who is it for because Tim Robinson like he got axed from there and they never took any of his sketches and then he has his show and massively popular he's like on every Instagram meme TikTok meme whatever people take his videos he's like has his show and massively popular. He's like on every Instagram meme, tick tock meme, whatever people take his videos that he's like, has his own like separate channel of the fucking internet zeitgeist for him.

And then I watch SNL sketches. People will send that. Ben will send them to me and he's like, look at this and I'll watch it. And it's like, yeah, it's like Bowen Yang, um,

interrupting a wedding to be like, I still love you. And he has a Stewie Griffin t-shirt on, which the Stewie Griffin t-shirt is pretty funny. But there's no there's no sketch to it. I'm like, OK, who's this for? These people are paid pretty well to some degree. And the network has, you know, has a big budget. So like, where is the viewership?

Like, who's paying for this? You know what I mean? I don't know anybody that watches it. like who's paying for this you know what i mean i don't know anybody that watches it but then again i kind of like live in a you know me and you both kind of live in that same i feel like bubble of like oh snl's dog shit i'm sure there's like millions of people who are like it's so funny it's awesome you know yeah but i feel like people don't tune in like they used to like whatever i mean yeah i agree with you there yeah but i mean people don't watch live tv as much as they used to either i think that's a big part of it is that you have to actually catch

it when it happens for the most part and like who watches tv like that anymore well i guess maybe it's just because it's like a legacy or an institution and thus you know the fucking wheel turns forever yeah like the like the simpsons is still going. Yeah, yeah. But I'm just, I'm like, damn, dude, like, you could, if they have the money to pay who they're paying, like, you could fucking, I know that it's, like, major network television, but fucking again, like, I think you should leave and all these, like, sketch shows and stuff.

Like, they're on big streamers. Like, get the fuck, you know, whatever. Like, fucking make it not suck. I don't know. This isn't funny. This is just me bitching about fucking SNL. No, but I mean, how old is, like, Lorne Michaels at this point? Yeah, I think he's, like, mid-80s, early to mid-80s, I think.

It looks like he's 79. Yeah, that sounds about right. So, I mean, yeah, I don't know what the plan is, you know. I hope that they fire everybody on SNL. Did you know that he was born in Palestine? Really? Yep. That's sick.

Like before the big one? Let's see. It was I'm guessing it's. Yeah, because he was born in 1944. So this was before the Nakba. Yeah, that sounds about right.

He was born in what was legally. I mean, it is Palestine, but it was internationally just accepted as Palestine. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. Oh. I don't believe that he is. I think he's a Jewish man from what I understand.

100%. He was raised in a kibbutz. Yeah, Lorne Michaels. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I don't know. That shit fucking sucks. Pisses me off. But it is what it is uh i feel like

there are so many like funny people making shit and then like nobody gives them anything like i mean obviously we've talked about this before but like the the entire purpose of like the content world is like you know people make shit that people want to see and you know whatever but you're not picked up by anybody like gillian like the shane gillis like the gillian keeps shit so goddamn funny like every every sketch they do fucking kills me or whatever but then i'll watch like a fucking yeah i watch like an snl thing or whatever and it's like uh i got a prius and i'm gay and you're like i I want to turn New York into fucking black lava, dude. If anybody lives there, not you guys,

I would save all the people listening to this show, my friends who live in New York. But I want to turn large parts of the island into nothing. That would be pretty sick to me. Yeah. And hopefully new shows will come out of it you know what i mean yeah i like to i like to think that i'm probably the next can i say it i'm the next lauren michaels i think and i think what i'm going to start i've decided to exercise some control over the industry you

know what i mean yeah you got to make it work for you yeah yeah i think i'm gonna start pushing out some of the top podcasters in the world yeah we start our own network like tom or whatever yeah yeah but i'm gonna start being really cutthroat in ways other people oh yeah you're gonna tell people to make more money than us that they can't podcast i'm gonna buy out like andrew santano yeah santino i'm gonna buy out i'm gonna buy out probably bobby lee maybe i don't know brendan shobb and i'm gonna start working my way up uh you know next thing you know hey did you hear did you did you hear that um mark norman and sam moral aren't doing their podcasts anymore.

Yeah, it turns out they got bought out by Thomas. Yeah, he must be some super pimp freaking executive now trying to make the next SNL but with just one podcast. It's just two guys. Yeah, just a two-guy show that probably should have hired a third one two years ago, but it's too late now. Yeah, you know, like it doesn't. doesn't yeah no i'm with you on that and then before you know it joe rogan does his final broadcast picture this hey guys this is me joe rogan of the joe rogan experience just wanted to say this is my final transmission i have sold the joe rogan experience to none other than

I have sold the Joe Rogan Experience to none other than Boss Hog Entertainment Incorporated. You may know them as Padejo Time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And from now on, Jamie will be working for them. Oh, looks like Jamie just got laid off. Yeah, podcast is getting shut down. I sold the podcast to them for about $2,000, which is what they offered, and I figured that's a good deal. Yeah, you can't fuck that up. I mean, Lord knows I've only made about $900 million off the podcast so far.

My whole life, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, goodbye, guys, and go listen to Bandejo Time because it's the last podcast ever. Dude, what if Joe Rogan did like a Willy Wonka style thing for like all of the right wing and fitness and comedy podcasts? So he's old. Like in another 10 years when the TRT starts failing, right? Shit starts to go to shit.

And he puts like, I don't fucking know, a golden testosterone supplement all over around the GNCs and the vitamin shops in the world. And then he invites all the little podcasters that get the golden because I got a golden supplement. They take it and they go to fucking Joe Rogan's place. And then he just proceeds to kill them in bizarre and macabre ways. Like, I don't know, a fucking Smith machine decapitates one of the teenagers with like the poofy hair, you know. And then he tries to force feeds another one a bunch of elk meat and he turns into a fucking female elk. smith machine decapitates one of the teenagers with like the poofy hair you know and then uh

he tries to force feeds another one a bunch of elk meat and he turns into a fucking female elk and then uh joe has sex with it fuck it yeah why not and then yeah you know runs out the window that one dies and then another one let's see here um and what else type of shit is he like oh yeah he like uh fights a chimp or something and the kid dies. And then whoever's the surviving kid gets to be the new Joe Rogan. You can call it, I don't know, Joe Rogan and the Chocolate Factory. That's as good as anything I could come up with. Yeah, or Joe Rogan instead of Willy Wonka. That's beautiful.

Yeah, who gives a shit? Yeah, you know, and Joe Rogan and the Podcast Factory. Joey Rogana. Joey Rogana. Joey Rogana. Yeah, that works. Yeah, who gives a shit? And Joey Rogana and the Podcast Factory. And the Podcast Studio.

Yeah, his Oompa Loompas are like, they're midgets on fucking D-Ball. Yeah, I like that. They're huge. They're like bodybuilding midgets. They're 3'11". Each one of them weighs 410 pounds. Yeah, it's Jocko Willink, but two feet tall. Yeah, and there's 5,000 of them.

Yeah. And yeah, that's how he passes off. I like the... They should make a little person Navy SEALs team. I think that would be beautiful. Yeah, Navy Otters or something. Navy... Yeah, they're just in a they just pull up in like one of those uh like an armored version of like the little cars you can buy for the like rich people buy their kids where it's like a yeah yeah raptor but it's like tiny yeah one of the the like the shitty ones you get at walmart

but they're like 10 grand yeah i, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like that. Nah, yeah, I'm with you on that. Joey Rogan and the Podcast Factory. That will be the thing. It passes the torch off. It's probably, I don't know, to a Chinese guy.

They just killed Osama bin Wadlan. Osama bin Wadlan. Osama bin Wadlan? That's good. Yeah, the fucking Navy SEALs kick him in, and he's like 670 pounds. He's just huge as shit. Like, that got intel. The CIA and the ISI got intel. He's had, like, kidney problems for, like, 20 years.

So they're like, guys, all right, look, we're going to fucking take him out. But no, he's an old man man and he's experiencing renal failure so he's gonna be frail you know you just put him away a couple rounds the chest fucking blow his head off if you want but he ain't gonna give too much they kicked the door in and he's like a berserker from like like left for dead like the big fat guys 780 pound al-qaeda captain you know i like the idea of osama bin laden as a little person oh like a small guy yeah that's why i meant wadlan but i figured hey i thought you know fat but hey fuck it we went with it you know or i went no it's okay you know i mean neither of the situations are true and they're both yeah odd you know odd predicaments to be in as a

leader of a terrorist group i consider them more freedom fighters to be completely honest um yeah that's really woke of you yeah you know osama bin laden was a great big bastard and he was honestly kind of like a neo he was like a neoliberal freaking pussy if i was honestly i was like pretty far to the left of osama bin laden um he was kind of a compromise for me i uh like whenever i voted for osama i thought like okay this is like the least left-wing guy I'll vote for. But I would prefer it if it was like... There's a lot of guys I know of over there. Yeah, you know of so many guys in the Pakistani intelligence community. Abood.

Abood. Alabaster. Baghdadi. Yeah. Abooby big body. Yeah, I remember you telling me when you were interning for the CIA, your job was tracking down a booby big body. Yeah.

He's a mean son of a bitch, let me tell you. He's a real fucking, real nasty sourpuss, that guy. You were texting me screenshots of you tracking him throughout. Abadabad, trying to track down a booby big body. I've got a booty big body in my sights. A booty big body, and you were like, I'm scared. If he gets a hold of me, it's curtains. He's in bed with a Palestinian intelligence.

Yeah, we had to kill him with dogs because bullets couldn't go through his big boobs. We had to get German shepherds to bite his nipples off. They were so hard. Just the idea of having the entire U.S. arsenal at your disposal. And you're like, guys, this guy's too armored up with big-ass tits to shoot with a gun, so we've got to send in dogs. Missiles. We can't get into his asshole with a bullet because his ass is so big.

It's too voluptuous. Big and booty. A booty big body. Yeah, I remember a booty big body. I remember he died like a pog uh he died like a pog he died like a pog died like a pog oh man yeah those are good old days you hunting down fucking al-qaeda leaders yeah and then sometimes i would just like get distracted and i would just kill like um i would just kill like uh like rhinos and stuff.

You'd fly to Nairobi? Yeah, I would kill endangered species and shit. A guy that works for the CIA just gets bored of tracking down fucking couriers that have nothing to do with it. It's just like taking a plane 13 hours and just shooting the last two white rhinos left. Yeah, I don't really know where anything is, which is interesting. Making a play in 13 hours. Just like shooting the last two white rhinos left. Yeah, I don't really know where anything is, which is interesting. If you told me there were elephants in Iraq, I would say maybe. Yeah.

Are there lions there? Could be. Yeah, I don't know what's in Iraq. there are there giraffes probably hippos i've read a lot anaconda i believe a huge koala penguin penguin penguin cold we know that that i we can accept we don't they're in madagascar or something right that? That's the puffins. Those are Galapagos. Those are puffins. They're related, but it's not like... I was thinking of Galapagos.

It's not like the emperor penguin or the... Well, Galapagos and Madagascar are similar because they're both islands. Yeah, they exist the same place in my head. Yeah. Honestly, I haven't been to Galapagos in forever. We used to hunt sea iguana out there. Yeah, we used to hunt endangered seals out there. Yeah, we would kill Komodo dragons with hatchets.

It is crazy, dude, that if you have enough money, you can go on one of those rare game hunting expeditions. Like, it's nuts. Yeah, it's one of the most morally fucked up yeah i mean just because you have like nobody can do it for cheap so it's like you have to pay so much money to be a fucking asshole yes yeah yeah yeah like the guys who and they're like they are out a lot of places but there's just no like infrastructure or like the states doesn't they can't but like you're a guy from the states, you know, from the U.S. or fucking England or whatever,

and you've got, like, $2 million. Dude, you can go kill, like, a fucking, you can go kill an elephant. Yeah. You can go kill a fucking, I think there is only, like, fucking three rhinos left. So maybe those guys are probably under lock and fucking key. You want to kill a fucking lion, dude? You want to kill other rare-ass animals? Yeah.

You can kill, like, pygmies and, you know. Dude, did you ever read about how, I think at the turn of the century, like the late 1800s or something. I want to say it was the late 1800s. There was one of those, like, British and Dutch fucking, like, psycho guys that wore the Curious George hats and then just like walked into the jungle and accidentally or purposely killed like 3 million, you know, tribal people because they were looking for like a tastier type of nut, whatever the fuck that era of America world history. They, uh, one of the guys had a house in New York. Uh, he was this like British steel magnet, I think.

And, uh, he just straight brought a bunch of those guys back like in cages and then just had them on display i think it was the new york zoo i'm pretty sure philadelphia zoo i forget which one and uh where were they from they were from i want to say like Central America area. Yeah, so not even like... Well, I guess I'm used to seeing guys from there, but... This was at a time when it wasn't... Couldn't have been that... I mean, it was jarring, but...

There's still uncontacted tribes in parts of those places, but a lot of it was... Obviously, they had civilizations of their own, but these people were not... They didn't know what the united states was and so he brings them and he puts them in like monkey cages and he's like see the half man half ape the the missing link of evolution's been discovered i found them they love me and uh they had them in there i think for something crazy like 10 years or some shit before somebody was like yo these guys can talk

because you see like there was like I forget what it wasn't like an organization it was like a group of people that were like yo if I go to the lion cage they roar and shit they roar and they like me and they do like each other these guys have their own language they're not

they're not going we probably shouldn't have monkeys in cages keeping it a bill these guys like ride each other. These guys have their own language. They're not going, we probably shouldn't have monkeys in cages. Keeping it a bill, these guys talk to each other, and they do not look happy to be in there at all. But it's crazy that that happened like, I don't know, 100 years ago. You know what I mean? Like 110, I guess. We're probably not too far from it happened it probably still fucking happens who gives a shit yeah you got an operation like that going don't you

no i got out of the keeping people as like zoo animals game a while back it was getting too saturated uh like the zoomer tiktok get rich quick guys found out about it they started kidnapping like you know guatemalan fucking Home Depot guys and putting them in like reptile, like aquarium tanks and shit. Nowadays, if you kidnap somebody, it's got to be like your niece or something, you know. People are just really boring with it.

Oh, I'm going to kidnap my son. Yeah, that's so stupid. If I'm going to kidnap somebody, they're going to be something special. Yeah, if I'm going to go to jail for a long enough time and probably die in jail, I'm going to kidnap somebody, they're going to be something special. Yeah, if I'm going to go to jail for the longest time, I'll probably die in jail. I'm going to kidnap... If I saw a blue kid, I'd probably kidnap him. The fuck is going on with him, you know?

I'm going to kidnap his ass. Yeah. Honestly, if you're just... The best advice I could give to parents is to make your child blend in as much as possible, because I like to steal rare children, like Pokemon. I saw a shiny kid yeah you know how like people try to like you can get a hologram Charizard for like 10 grand if your kid's shiny in any way got any glitter on them I'm taking that motherfucker out of the woods uh dude imagine kid the rush of kidnapping like a green child like dark green hair light green skin dude i would fucking

hog time throw them in the back of the truck you know i'd i'd fucking get like a copper cage keep outdoors and then when it rained and stuff would get like a nice oxidized tone to it yeah yeah like all vintage so you'd see like all my shrubs and stuff in the back, all my cactus and all that, and then just a green guy. Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. Yeah, that's... I would make him hold up a dartboard for when you wanted to play darts. Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd have to throw it at his chest.

Mm-hmm, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Well, if you just got the whole... Feisty-ass nine-year-old. If you got the whole color wheel, you could fucking, I don't know, make them... You could start a charity or something for gay guys, gay people, but you could use the guys, the different colored guys as like...

They could do dances and stuff. You know what I mean? Like TikTok. I don't care what color you are. If you're yellow, red, orange, green, blue, purple... Yeah purple they're racist guys i'm gonna steal your kid if he's one of those colors i'm gonna keep him in my backyard and feed him feed him grapes i'm gonna feed him dog food i'll feed him dry dog food hey i'm gonna make him mow my lawn he's he's got a shot collar on okay treat everybody equal yeah yeah i don't think Yeah I'm not really too big into

Any of that type of stuff Kidnapping or extortion I would probably make all my rainbow kids Be ballerinas for me Cause it's such a dying art Ballerina? The ballet is a dying art to you? Yeah everybody's afraid to eat the cotton balls nowadays

Is that a part of the ballet? It's part of the eating disorder part. Oh. You guys, yeah. But, you know. Do they be doing that type of shit? I thought they just, like, did Adderall and cocaine and stuff.

They be eating paper and stuff? They, like, yeah, like, have to starve themselves and stuff. I mean, there's different levels to it. But, like, I imagine, like, your genetics come into play and stuff like that. But if you want it, want it. Like, they really push them to be skinny. It might not be as bad as it used to, but I don't know that much about it.

But I know back in the day it was, like, you couldn't drink milk. You couldn't, like. Yeah, yeah. It was fucked up. Yeah, I remember I went to a couple um my my buddy played in the symphony like the symphony for one the university sure and uh he's like oh come to the thing and i was like all right um yo um keeping it being 100 factual with my friends here. Dude, fucking rich people shit sucks.

And I'm talking about, like, rich people shit of antiquity. Like, rich people now, like, fucking Mark Zuckerberg, he rides the, like, hydroplane fucking bookie boards, and he does jiu-jitsu with Volkanovsky. I'm talking rich people shit, like, 200 years ago, 300 years ago 300 years ago dude the fucking ballet sucks opera sucks my fucking dick um art i like i like an art museum every now and then but i go in i'm in and out in 10 minutes but fucking a ballet dude uh that's the opera but like the the acrobatics of it is cool but not every ballet implements acrobatics.

So some of it... I've seen a handful. It's just like... Fucking... Yeah, get the fuck out of here with it. You know what I mean? It's not for me. Rich people should have invented fucking Xbox

like way before it was invented. Because all that shit... Really fucking sucks. Not a huge fan. They had slaves for like thousands of years, and they weren't playing Xbox for any of that time. Yeah, if you guys would have had fucking Warzone, you wouldn't have started a civil war

where whether or not it's fucking morally right to own a guy. Pieces of shit. You would have fucking... Dude, imagine John Wilkes Booth, right? And he's got fucking Fortnite Battle Pass. Imagine. Easy squeezy. He doesn't blow fucking Lincoln's head off. There's not even a Civil War.

Instead of saying, sick Semper Tyrannis, he says, I like playing video games. Yeah. Not hard to imagine. Imagine you're hopping on Call of Duty and it's still segregated. Why I oughta. Get back over here.

Why you. That just chaps my khakis. Get over here, you scoundrel. Did you have your hands in your trousers? We got a couple ruffians up on the hill with us. They got one of those mail trucks. Now, guys, let's those metal trucks. Now guys, let's keep it PG.

Let's have one heck of a game. All right. That's how Mormons play. You're probably just talking like a guy, like a college kid who lives in fucking Provo guys. Do you think they probably have to have their own server? Can you, yeah,

you can invite people. Imagine a bunch of Mormon kids playing war zone, not even saying swear words. You know what I mean? Oh, rats. Rats. Sassafras. You got me.

Stinky. Sucker and Suckatash. Wowee, Jilliker. That was a great shot. Sweep my floor and call me the maid. Yeah, well, if you would hem my pants and take me to the altar. Ah, gee whiz, that really... I'm gonna fucking

blow my head off. That really... Ah, geez. Gee willikers, mister. That really makes me want to fucking kill myself. Ah, Christ on a cracker. That makes me want to fucking cut your belly open. Ah, fiddlesticks.

That makes me want to do family annihilation to a family that's not mine. Twiddly D, what can you do? I'm going to kill everybody in my neighborhood. I've never been good at talking trash on games in a way that um doesn't unite everyone in the game against me yeah i can see that for sure and i i can kind of relate i well because like first of all i'm ass cheeks i mean you've played that's like how we before we're doing the show like we would just play warzone hang out like i'm ass cheeks. Me and you have played, that's like how we, before we were doing the show, we would just play Warzone and hang out. I'm ass, so I can't talk shit.

You know what I mean? There's nothing I can say. I'm not even kind of good. I'm fucking butt cheeks at that game. At all video games, really. So I can't, you know what I mean? So if I'm like, yeah, nice fucking shot, dumbass, everybody would be like, Jake, dude, you're KD, right?

You have zero kills and you've died 30 times. There's you know like oh yeah almost got me jake i've killed you 20 times in like two minutes oh yeah i guess you're right and then just you know like to fucking oh call dude y'all y'all are too soft for call of duty lobbies you know that whole guy like like older millennial guy thing like well y'all wouldn't have lasted in the marvel for a tune yeah i get shot and i'm like nice shot rapist nice shot pedophile molester of children yeah great great shot i got one guy to yell at me a lot one time because uh i just said he had on lipstick nice uh and then he was like dude i literally did not have lipstick on i was like why would you be mad if you didn't have lipstick that's like like i don't have lipstick on but if you said i had lipstick i wouldn't care because i don't

you're mad about it he's like dude my girlfriend is right here she will tell you i'm not wearing lipstick yeah and then his girlfriend literally got on the mic and was like he's not wearing makeup and i was like but he's wearing lipstick yeah and i was like do you fuck him do you peg him while he wears makeup in a wig you hit it from the side you shave your head and then they kept being mad he killed me a bunch of times. I don't think I killed him at all. Yeah, it's fun to... I just would join random parties when I would play.

And I would just fucking tank the whole team. And people would be like, ah, fuck. And then they, you know, I would... Nobody ever really wanted to play with me. Even my friends. I'd be like, yo, let me hop on around. And they were like, nah, it's cool.'s cool so i just you know who gives a shit yeah people people at first are like oh dude it'd be funny to play with him and then they play with you and you're so bad that

it like makes a noticeably negative impact on their day yeah on like that time that they yes the time that they set aside to like unwind and play games with the boys i've been that person that ruined it for friends like not kidding man well over 100 times just because people would be like like um oh like we're gonna play halo and i would i never really played and i didn't own the game um but i had my my neighbor did and i would go over there and we would they would play like you know local or whatever and uh yeah i would like ruin it we would all smoke weed um and like steal beer from like his dad's fridge and shit and some guys would be like i fucking hate playing with you man and then they would just like go outside and like hit the fucking

dr pepper can we like poked holes in this This completely ruined their night. And I'm like, you know. Yeah. But hey, I got good at other shit. You know what I mean? I got good at. Yeah. You became a skilled lover. I became a tyrant.

I became a pretty good tyrant. I did. I had my tyrant phase. I became a good autodidact. I became a really good. I became a really solid became a really a really solid despot you know what I mean

like I just kind of ruled over a small banana republic took it over and ran it with an iron fist you know enslaved a lot of people you should start

anytime you're playing games be like dude I wish I was like holding drumsticks right now and I could like show you what I could do. But I'm stuck with this little pesky controller, but I'm a drum artist in my spare time. And if I could work my magic on some beautiful, tightly bound canvas, I use that like my palette. canvas you know i use that like my my palette but you know i'm stuck with this piece of plastic this capitalist freaking plastic right here it just makes me want to punk out it's going to rock

out right now but honestly i'm just like kind of a savant like i'm too good at music and comedy and what else oh being fucking awesome all day That sometimes video games just piss me off because it's too easy. So, yeah. No, I don't have a great KD because I'm thinking about great things. Yeah, I got shit going on in my life. You know what I mean? I'm actually a tortured artist. Nobody knows that because nobody gives a fuck about my life.

As it turns out, no one gives a fuck about my life. As it turns out, no one gives a shit about my problems despite the fact that there are many, you know? Nobody gives a fuck about a player's life. Maybe I should swallow

this controller and die from it. Maybe I should eat my drumsticks and fucking shove my head at the kick drum and fucking step on my own head. I guess I'll just keep this art to myself.

Yeah. Yeah, it fucking... You're, like, threatening... You, like, have the drumstick slightly up your nose, and you're, like, threatening, like, you're going to push it all the way through your skull, even though that's, like... Dude.

I could do this right now if I wanted to, and I could, and I'm thinking about it, but I guess I won't, because I'm fucking stronger than you. Dude, I'm not kidding. I was playing a show when this happened this is this is so stupid i was playing a show and uh like we finish a song and like my hair was in my eyes and i had my drumsticks and sit behind uh it's like a pretty big show too i forget where i was in denton uh at and Andy's and uh I fucking throw my uh head forward to throw my hair back

and I fucking shove my right drumstick so far up I literally like head butted it was perfect like I probably couldn't have done it on accident a second time because I was holding them up this drumsticks I'm sitting on the throne the drumsticks are in my lap and they're like faced upward because I just I literally just finished playing like you know fucking chord rang out and uh i like whip my head forward and dude i'm not kidding like the plastic the plastic part at the end and it was i use a thicker drumsticks because i i play too fucking loud and too hard so i like um i get thick ones like the wood's thicker uh they're like I forget what they're called the Vic Firth mix anyway dude nose is just like bleeding and I'm like I didn't realize

what I had done at first and then I look down and there's just like snot and like a little bit of blood like on like the last like three inches four inches of the drumstick and I was like and I like looked at Peyton and the drumstick. And I was like, and I like looked at Peyton and I looked at will. And I was like, ah, it's not worth it. Cause that's about to be like, I was scared for a second.

I was like, cause dude, my whole, like the up here hurt. Like between my eyes, like the bridge of my nose. I was, yeah,

I was like, how hard, you know, whatever, but it scared the shit out of me. But all that happened. Imagine if you'd accidentally died from that that's what i was about to say like it would have been the most

appropriate death for me yes 100 yeah no like you know obviously i wouldn't want it to happen but if somebody told me that you had died like that i would say you know in a way it's something that he would have wanted yeah yeah yeah it Is going out like a warrior on stage. Yeah. And, you know, instantly becoming, you know, that's, people would talk about that show for the rest of their lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, damn, if I would have done the whole, like, action movie, smash the guy's nose into his brain cavity, fucking horse shit, but, like, with a drumstick,

my mom would have been super pissed at me, and so would have my brother, with a drumstick my mom would have been super pissed at me and so would have my brother but I think my brother probably would have been like he probably you know there's no way that you wouldn't laugh

at a stupid ass death like that yeah it's pretty funny what time is it I'm gonna go we still got a little time I'm gonna yeah we still got

we still got a little time. I'm going to... Yeah, we still got a little bit. Oh, fuck. Sleepy Jake sleeping on the fucking job again. How many times have I told you? Oh, my God. I saw you yawn one more time on this show. I'm going to raise hell. Oh, my God.

I saw sleepy. You got anything fun going on this weekend You got friends visiting right No I'm gonna go Me and my other band We're gonna go do the cabin thing We're just gonna We got a place in Canyon Lake And we're gonna

Get there on Friday And just set up in the The living room And then just like write Music This would be I guess our first album We have an EP out but the living room and then just like write, uh, music. Uh, this would be our,

I guess our first album. We have an EP out, but, um, yeah, I was trying to write our first like actual album. Uh, sick.

So we're going to get there Friday. I'm gonna stay till Monday. Just fucking, you know, live off of, uh, Gordetto's fucking pretzel sticks and, uh, peanut butter and,

um, yeah, all that shit. fucking pretzel sticks and, uh, peanut butter and, um, yeah, all that shit. Uh, so that'd be fun. Uh, it's in Canyon Lakes. It'll be cool. We're going to do karaoke.

I think on Friday, try to think of, I'm trying to think of the worst karaoke. Cause I always go and like, you know me, dude, I'm a fucking, I'm fucking attention whore.

So I always go, I hate people who do this, but I'll do this sometimes. I hate when I go to karaoke and people are good, but like, I'll try to sing sometimes, especially if I always go, I hate people who do this, but I'll do this sometimes. I hate when I go to karaoke and people are good. But like, I'll try to sing sometimes, especially if I'm like having too much to drink. And like, I don't, I can't sing all that great, but like, I'm not terrible. But I'm trying to get out of the habit of like actually trying at karaoke. And I want to sing like, I'm trying to think of the fucking worst thing I could sing.

Like, I guess maybe like a like a German like SS marching song you know I think it would be really annoying if you did hot for teacher that would really suck yeah because it's a lot of guitar at the beginning yeah yeah yeah and then the singing even in the original song is not good yeah yeah it's not Just a guy talking basically Yeah And it's about

Wanting to get raped As a high schooler basically I could do the one eyed One hoarded Flying purple people eater But I could do it like Like Slayer Like just fucking Really send it at him, you know?

That would be good. You could adopt a weird accent and do Dinosaur by Hank Williams. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, baby, I'm Dinosaur. I need the major train. Yeah. Do that video of him where he's like, as soon as my dick gets wet, I'm coming. It cracks me.

Have you seen that? Dude, it's so funny. I don't know the fucking whole interview. I just saw the short clip of it. But somebody, I guess, the interviewer is asking him a question or whatever, and it's not on air because there was no way that could have fucking aired back then. But I guess the cameras were still hot. But he's sitting, you know, he's got his old gimmick on. And he's like, look, as soon as my dick gets wet, I'm coming.

I'm not no marathon fucker. All right. As soon as literally the moment it happens, I'm coming. And then I'm going. It's like, damn, dude, like that's so the one wise thing he's ever said. Well, it's funny to be like, like all your songs are about how you're a bad person and you're alcoholic alcoholic and your whole family's like that and nobody likes you and you're lonely and you need to change your ways, but you can't. And then, but maybe there's a baby that's like, oh, yeah, I got groupies.

I'm a stallion. Nope. I'm broke. I'm an alcoholic. My family sucks. I'm a bad person, and I fuck like shit. Just fucking, just having literally no... But being just an incredible guitar player

and having an amazing voice. That's all it takes. So if you're an incel, if you're out there and you have a bad home life and you have generational trauma or whatever and you don't have any support networks, Hank Williams Jr. did it and he sucked at fucking. So, hey, you know.

It's possible for you. He was a Nazi and, and he sucked at fucking. So, hey, you know. Yeah. It's possible for you. He was a Nazi, and he couldn't fuck at all. He was a pretty right-wing guy, wasn't he? I think. Yeah, well, now he'll change his lyrics in concerts to, like, be about Jews and stuff. Like, because he's such, like, a drunk that he just doesn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he's playing Toby Two-Fers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Backyard stage. So it's just a bunch of 50-year-old women there, and he does self-parodies of all races sometimes. That's awesome. So that's a nice, if you ever catch him live, it's something you can look forward to. That's awesome.

Yeah. I didn't, honestly, I thought he was dead. So I straight up thought he died for some reason. Well, I mean, not for some reason. The motherfucker's like a 900-year-old drug addict, alcoholic, but. Let's see. Let me double check.

Yeah, he's 74. That's crazy that that motherfucker's still alive dude that is so nuts and uh he has a son too who like the third ain't it hank williams the third yeah who also makes music i don't know if he likes him or not but he likes his own son i don't know i mean i don't know if his son likes him oh not, but... He likes his own son? I don't know. I mean, I don't know if his son likes him or not. It's crazy to name your son the third one of the name that you have and then just be like, I don't like him very much. He's not really my cup of tea, as it turns out. He's just not my type of guy

I like to hang out with. Who could have guessed? Dude, hey, you can't get mad at me. Some guys don't like hanging out with their kids. I'm Bo Cephas, but I'm not a fan of Bo Threephas. You know what I mean? Yeah, I cannot stand my fucking, you know. It's a family tradition to not like your children.

You know what I mean? Dude, Hank Williams III looks goofy. He was born in 72. Is there a fourth one? What if there's a fourth one and he's a femboy video gamer? Just not a fucking country music singer at all i like that the third one is 51 i thought he was uh bro is there a hank williams the fourth get the fuck out of here dude there is ricky fitzgerald oh okay So he ain't even the goddamn Alright

Hank 3's son 4 Yeah that's just The Hank Williams lineage continues That's pushing it With Hank 3's son IV Roman numerals Hank 3 is Hank Williams Jr.'s son

And Coleman aka IV Is Hank 3's son Bro there's fucking like 5 of these motherfuckers. All right, whatever. It's like if you, you know, it's like dilution, you know? We only gave a fuck about the first two. And I guess maybe kind of the three.

Who gives a shit? The three, it was like, oh, there's a sequel, but he didn't really do anything. Yeah, yeah. Dude, it's cool that Charlie Crockett, that Davey is like, I think he's like a great granddad or something. Like 10th power, like granddad or some shit. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

I think it's his great, great, great, great uncle or whatever, or his dad. I forget, but that's where his namesake comes from, which is cool. I like Charlie Crockett. He's cool. That's cool. Good for him. I also like the fact that if you're listening to this, you should head on over to patreon.com slash pendejo time. Toss us five boneroonies.

Five boneroonies gets you access to bonus-a-roonie episodes every week, including access to the Discord. Ten bucks a month gets you access to video episodes as well as bonus episodes as well as Discord access. Fifty bucks a month gets you access to all that stuff and then you just to give us 50 bucks a month uh please don't sign up for that um don't unless you want to unless you have the money but you don't you don't get anything it started out as a joke tier and then i kept it um if you are a free listener and you do not

subscribe to patreon i have some fucking news for you just today just today i dug through all of our old thumb drives and my old laptops and i found most of the songs that were supposed to be on the album that we were going to release that got me banned from spotify for being too fucking thug for being too hard dude too damn for being too thug and for to being too gangster and i compiled all that shit and i released it on bandcamp um and uh you can go on to our patreon and you can find that link um you probably also like find it if you google it i just realized because it's bandcamp and you can just google it. I didn't put it under anything. It's on our Patreon right for now. I'll probably just post the link here in a couple weeks or whatever.

Yeah. But it's got nine sweet tracks, like The Robot Song, The Alligator Song, Change the World, Borrow Your Car. The Snacks one. Baby Girl Snacks. Yeah your car. The snacks one. Baby Girl Snacks. Yeah, that was a good one. Classic. Yeah, Baby Girl Snacks is a classic one.

It also has, damn it, Play No Games is a great, that's a really good one, dude. Yeah, it's got a lot of the classics. There's some that are missing. That might go on the second album if I can track those down. But either way, thanks for listening. Yeah, it's got a lot of the classics. There's some that are missing. That might go on the second album if I can track those down. But either way, thanks for listening. You said Drunk Uncle would be your first album, but we just put one out.

It's funny how life works. This will be your second studio album. Yeah, you know what's funny is the Drunk Uncle's second album was coming out in May. And I was like, yeah, this is like, done a lot of EPs. This is my, it's like, no, technically my third studio album is coming out on a label. The second one is called Padeo Time. And I used the Bing image creator to make a picture of a gorilla wearing a sombrero covered in purple slime on the Dallas skyline. That's awesome. So awesome.

Yeah, go check that shit out. If you're not subscribed, it's up on Patreon. Give it a listen. It's super good. It was so good that Spotify said, hey, we can't have that. This is going to break the internet. It was going to be too good.

They were going to get too many streams and their servers were going to crash. All right, I'll see you all later. But thank you for listening. Goodbye. Bye. Yeah, yeah.