Pendejo Time - It's Free

Episode Date: December 11, 2020

You ever been gettin yo shit sucked on and you nut but the bitch just keep on suckin so you just be sittin there all sweaty on the bed like ooohhh-wee! Ooooooh-wee! You nasty bitch! This one got cut short, not our fault thankfully.Support the Show.

in my face right now yeah i don't to first of all the idea of you and me being like professional in any setting presenting anything to anyone like yes it if i if we were to pitch if if we were to pitch something uh thanks everyone for tuning in for the premium. Me and Thomas are going to start pitching to comedy central. We're we're on the road. Yeah. We're working on it. Look, we're, we're going to be think of, think of, you think of Joe Rogan, you think of you know, another, another successful person. That's the only one we got. Yeah. Yeah. yeah pretty much the only one we're gonna be uh i guess third and fourth there and once again i don't know who the second person is in that comparison because it's pretty much

just joe rogan there well see look the the twitter to podcast pipeline the natural conclusion of that pipeline is just to get on joe rogan like i mean that's why that's why we're doing this that's that's it's it's very look i mean i i i want to ask you i just want to get like on the you know behind the mic in his studio and and just be like how good are you really at like kicking stuff yeah okay is it a for show how good are you do you smoke weed yeah i think i would just make like animal noises at him and see how you reacted in his his natural environment i think he would i think he would try and take me down right there i think he would try to ask you like philosophical, like pseudo philosophical questions probably.

I mean, like if you, if you made animal noises at him, but I played the straight man, like if I was trying to, but you were like, yeah, I would tell him, I'd be like, you can't smoke in here, please. You can't do that around me. Hey, look, man, I uh i know that you are like a sort of like a free love kind of guy but i need you to know that that's an illegal drug it's schedule one and uh and i i will call the police yeah so hey joe can i just uh like skype you from the parking lot yeah so i'm not even like on camera with this listen joe dude um i feel like

you and me in a different life we could have got along um but you smoke weed and that's just a hard no-go for a guy like me who really has done everything right in his life and i don't want i don't want to start making mistakes now i've really never even contemplated fucking up before yeah but uh but seeing you smoke that joint now i would honestly it would be weird to sit in a seat that like ellen musk sat and not that i respect ellen musk but like just to be like oh this guy who's caused so much like strife and like terror like i'm in i'm in the same like like it would you know i bet he smells weird i dude i get that vibe too like crayons you know like like like i got a feeling he wears like expensive cologne that like as soon as it

like hits him you know just disappears like evaporates it doesn't do it yeah i feel like it does not do enough to cover up the stench you know those kind of guys where it's like it's clear they have deodorant on and like cologne but you can still sort of smell the like the the the frustration or misery that like they don't they don't shower regularly i i know this because i'm one of those guys but he seems like he's in line with me yeah you're kind of like the elon musk of uh whatever uh made up field i thought you were about to say like i i really i really thought you were going to say like weird twitter or arnie twitter and i was about to get really mad i was going to like stop the recording i was just trying to figure out like a what my field is i don't have a real job yeah i don't categorize you

yeah yeah i i'm not going to bother with it. No, no, no. No, but I think it would be interesting to be on there as someone who's never really accomplished anything. Yeah, I know. Well, you know, what's funny is like. That's Tim Pool's thing or whatever, but. Yeah, well, I was going to say like, there's a, there's a, there's a lot of people on there who are clearly like, I mean, he had Bernie on there. He had Jesse Ventura, he had Howard Stern, you know, like a lot of big celebrities, but he also has people on there who are clearly like – I mean he had Bernie on there. He had Jesse Ventura. He had Howard Stern, like a lot of big celebrities. But he also has people on there who like are just – their status is like – Who's Jesse Ventura? Is that the pet detective guy?

No, no, no. That's – You got it. Keep – no, let those gears turn. Let those gears turn, buddy. No, it's the guy with the ponytail. Yeah, he's the conspiracy theory governor. I was thinking of Ace Ventura. Yeah, you were. I was thinking, Jake, I think you mean Jim Carrey. I was like, this is a huge –

That was a very critical point for a good bit where I just kind of like – I served my own interest into trying to make you feel bad, but it could have floated. I had a feeling it wasn't the pet detective guy, but just in case it was, I've only watched about half of that movie. So if he turned out to be real, it would be a big game changer for me. I, I, you know what? I think that movie for me at seven years old, I thought I was a comedic genius at like in like third or fourth grade for just knowing that movie like front to back.

I think i've seen maybe i said half maybe 10 minutes of it i um jim carrey is like one of those guys uh he's a little weird do you know okay i don't like it when people make funny faces at me okay so you know how like last episode we talked about uh um theater kids and how they don't get famous i feel like jim carrey was one of those theater kids that should not have gotten famous but something worked out and he did so you're just sort you're sort of like his his energy and his theatrics are that of a person who wants to be famous like they're sort of the kid that does all the musicals

and plays and all the stuff in high school goes to college and does the same thing and like that kid never gets famous but like every interview you see of him he's doing the grinch face but he's also telling you how to like succeed in your goals and it's very hard to like take something that retarded like seriously in any meaningful way uh i think if you've got like nine figures just cut it out and you're trying to be a good person it's like you need to think about like you know what that uh who you are yeah i i know i seriously like i i don't know the thing, if I, if anything had ever worked out in my life, any of my creative pursuits, I would like to theoretically yeah because they haven't. think that I would just keep to my own, you know, like, like if, if you go from not having much or even having like a little bit, like you're not a nepotism actor or comedian, then

you go to being one of those things. Ideally, I would like to think that I would just sort of like be like, yeah, I jacked off today. And, uh, I, I kind of played putt putt at the house and I went swimming in my pool and then I went to bed and I was, but I would swimming in my pool, and then I went to bed. But I would never in a million years try to do liberal politics videos. I mean, maybe. I don't know. Maybe I would. I would just like to think that I would not. If you gave me $200 million, I would unlock new levels of evil.

I mean, I would be such a bad person. I would just go out to the mall just carrying a handgun. I mean, it might not even be loaded, but just the things I could get away with. Yeah, I mean, I feel like you could do what you just said, but also have your dick and penis poking out through the zipper. Are those two separate things? Anatomically, they're supposed to be. What are you rocking with? Don't worry about it.

No, I mean I don't know. It's like the same thing with the lottery. You'd like to think you'd be kind of a quiet millionaire, but maybe something happens to your ego where you surpass a certain level of wealth where you're like i'm i'm i'm gonna let everyone know what i think about this yeah i i think uh i'd be i'd be sort of like uh joaquin phoenix you know except you know obviously less talented but i think i would get to that level of just not caring even if i had like ten thousand dollars i would just be like i'm gonna be honest with you man like two grand a month on this. I'd probably do. One of those mockumentaries or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Where I'm like, I'm pursuing some fake identity crisis. Dude, again, like one of my friends was like, hey, man, it's cool. Because I tried to do streaming a couple months back.

And he was like, dude, the podcast, like you guys got 60 something subs in like two days. And I was like, yeah, man, you know, I made, I made some passing comment. Like it's about time to monetize this or whatever. But even that is like acknowledging a level of hubris or ego where it's like, oh, the stuff I do all day, the little pee pee poo poo jokes that make me unemployable in real life. I deserve something from this. Yeah. I think it's kind of funny. Cause like, uh, if, if something good happens to me in life, you know, which I mean, isn't, isn't every day, you know,

but I have to like justify it to myself. Like, Oh, actually I, I worked hard for this, you know, like it's some sort of meritocracy we're operating in where it's it's really just like things just sort of happen you have to apply the american myth of like yeah i have to i have to make it like i grinded for this just now we haven't we've just been sitting around no no i mean this is like it's it's it's it's funny it's wishful thinking to imagine that this gets past like a thousand dollars a month but also it's like i know that if it were to because how fickle my brain can be that if we were both clearing like if this made three grand and we were clearing i

would be like yeah man you know i spent a lot of i would tell people who asked me how i did it i would make it seem like something it wasn't you know like yeah man you, I spent a lot of, I would tell people who asked me how I did it. I would make it seem like something it wasn't, you know, but yeah, man, you know, you spend a lot of time working on that craft. You refine your voice, you refine your, your, your presence. And then dude, you, you, you put the work in, you spend 15 hours a day on the internet. You neglect everything and everyone else in your life. I mean, you really push it all aside. neglect everything and everyone else in your life i mean you really push it all aside and then you hop on a podcast with a guy who has 20 000 more followers than you on the internet and that really

is what drive that yeah that's what brings it home it's like uh i guess in my world the thing i can apply to is all like the the contractors i know who like, they're real, like, almost like Forex traders in a way where it's like, yeah, man, you start small. You can like build yourself up from the, pull yourself up from the bootstraps, man, you know? And, and then, you know, you find out a few months later, it's like, yeah, well, my dad had a construction company and then he made me a superintendent when I was 19. And then, and then he gave me a construction company so that i mean that was pretty sweet but i had to work for this and it's like

man you can accept that some things in your life are just good you don't have to make it seem like an adventure that you worked for yeah those uh those new york times the articles people share on twitter on the internet in general like every two weeks where it's like, this is how this Bushwick couple, Jesus Christ. This is how this Bushwick couple paid their college debt off in a year and a half. The whole article is about like economic, like microeconomic smart moves. And then on a footnote at the bottom, it's likeary and john's parents own a cia black site and they also they own a uh they own a an oil field out in the gulf of mexico and they also uh were involved in the 9-11 inside job yeah where and they they scored a lot of saddam hussein's

gold so that and and and the whole thing thing at that point feels like a massive farce. But you're supposed to believe it's real. I really hope they write one of those articles about Nick Kroll. Dude, that was a thing. Go ahead. That's a thing for me. They get like, this guy,

they're going to say the creative genius or whatever behind Big Mouth or something. He was in the league, right? That was pretty good. That was a funny show. Yeah. I liked it. Me too. But, you know, at the end they're like, and also, you know, Nick's dad did 9-11 a little bit, just a little bit of it.

He didn't do the whole thing, but, you know, we give him a little bit of credit. Just a little bit of it. He didn't do the whole thing, but we give him a little bit of credit. We're not even big enough for this to be counted as libel or slander, so I don't care. There was this artist that my girlfriend listened to, and a lot of people were talking about on Twitter, Claro. Yeah. Yeah, you know who that is? I've never heard the music, but I've heard of – Okay, I thought – this is how stupid I am. I thought her and Lizzo made the same music because their names both ended in O. But Lizzo makes like hip-hop music for people who were converse to prom, like high tops.

And Claro is like bedroom pop for girls that have borderline personality disorder or whatever. It's a different type of job. Is Claro kind of like Rex Orange County or something? It's like Alex G is or like – it's a different type of job is clero kind of like uh rex orange county or something like it's like it's like you know alex g is or like it's like girl elliot smith it's like lady elliot's uh for two on that one but over to continue yeah it's just it's just anyway her dad was like the head of marketing for coca-cola and then it'll happen sometimes and so i get these like uh like because you know i'm on the internet and then like i i age obviously everyone does there will be this person in music who's the biggest thing in the whole fucking world and

i'm expected to know who they are and they're big out of nowhere they release an album and they've gone platinum in like two minutes and i'm supposed to know who they are so i google them and you're like wow what a talented person this person must be and it come be like yeah it comes you come to find out that their their dad runs like the national defense like like intelligence their dad is like head of an sa or like and you're like oh that makes like 100 of sense now like no one really like is talented enough to make it in yeah everything is in service of this evil i have i have yeah it almost gets funny i think uh i think with with rap it's a little different in that they're it's still industry plants you know like there's definitely

like uh but but they're not necessarily like through certain connections, like, you know, in the grand scheme of like, you know, the, you know, cabal or whatever, but it'll be like, because I remember what was, was Blueface 2018 where he was a little bigger that might have been 2019 dude i mean i'm probably like yeah 2019 i used to be like i used to go to shows and stuff i used to be more like actively into you know watching like world star hip-hop videos and stuff like that freshman so i heard about blue blue face uh like i want to say yeah yeah like three months maybe before he – and he was a meme because he sounded like a Kurds cowardly dog. And then like three months later, he had the bust down Thaddeana or whatever. Yeah, and then he had a freshman cypher, which was – yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then that AR-4, 645 six forty five ar yeah yeah yeah that guy um like did he sort of put people in there and it's just basically like one big producer will be like hey

how about we give this guy like 20 20 hits and some some guy you know def jam or something's like sure let's do it but uh with it's it's kind of funny because that's like as far as it goes with with that genre but then like with like bedroom pop or something yeah it'll be like oh it's kind of a nice little mellow tune and then you find out their dad was like like hitler jr or something i wish they i wish a and r guys did that for a little time podcast like this. So like me and you do like five episodes on like how, how terrible we've been in our lives or like what we do when we're bored.

Yeah. And then, you know, we get an email from a guy who's like, you're, I almost, I almost did a black guy voice just now. I want you to know. And I don't know why I did that. Just now I almost, Hey brother. No, no, no, no. No, just a guy who's like, hey, man. Okay, what almost followed from that

was like a businessman voice, but it was like a New York type, a type of person that lives in New York. Interesting. Yeah, I'm two for two. I'm two for, anyway, anyway. There's a certain type of person that lives in New York. Yeah, I'm two for two. Anyway, anyway. There's a certain type of person that lives in New York. Yeah. Anyway, you know, approach like I really like the little jokes you guys do.

We're going to put you guys on. We're going to give you an ad. We're going to we're going to get you guys some ad reads. And then we're going to put you on like number one podcast. you guys some ad reads and then we're going to put you on like number one apple podcast and then you and me just get like maybe four or five months of steady attention and uh and then what happens is sort of we just spend whatever money that is on like you know bombay gin and like crotum and then like cbd joints pre-roll. Getting my oil changed. And then when we're expecting it to blow, it just doesn't happen. I wouldn't know what to do. Like if I ever got a little taste of fame and then it got ripped out from under me, I probably would just like – Yeah, well, I know what I'd do.

What was that? Don't worry about it. But yeah, anyway, it's – It's like the list. The list from the last episode and then now it's like... Yeah, we cut that out, remember? Did we? That was the first one where we didn't release it because it was so bad.

It was just like rambling constantly. This is the premium. We don't want to talk about bad stuff. Yeah. We've never recorded a bad episode. No, we've never even... I've never even had a moment where I'm not funny. Yeah. Yeah, where I'm not consistent. we're the two funniest guys in the world honestly we we i can't even finish the sentence we run twitter

it's awful you know like uh i i i i wish that um that anything okay so like i i have had a lot of writing gigs copywriting gigs writing writing for, you know, companies and like doing their commercials and stuff. I've done shit like that. I wish that, that, that this shit, like the Twitter shit, it translated to a resume because I can't tell a guy who's interviewing me for a position or for like a freelance gig. I'm like, yeah, man, I, I've got like a pretty decent sized Twitter account. And they're like, oh, okay, cool.

Like, what's it, uh, like you go viral. Cause we're like, that's what marketing is about. Right. And I'm like, yeah, no, I mean, I get like a, I do decent numbers on posts and like, well, you know, what's the kind of posts you do numbers on. And I'm just thinking of all the times that I've like, you know, implied saying the n-word or like i've got a parody song about like rape or something and i'm like i i uh actually you know what i don't have a twitter account i'm only on linkedin i i actually only go i do go to church a lot i don't uh it really it's it's it's it's stupid the inordinate amount of time I spend on there that's not translatable. That's why I hope this works. Yeah, because we have nothing left. If you're listening

and you can find us, any sponsors or anything like that, please let us know because we're towards the end of the road here. I've been having a heart attack for about 13 hours now and I'm just rolling with it. I think Jake's got about five years tops. Yeah, max. Maybe. I should have died in 2013.

Your resting heart rate's got to be like 150, something like that. It's kind of crazy. Dude, me in the best shape of my life meditating 115 120 yeah i took my heart rate before bed the other night i've been in bed like two hours yeah took it before going to sleep i was at 90 yeah and it's like the lowest it's been in a while yeah i uh i have the alpha go ahead the alpha mindset if you drop below 90 beats per minute anytime you're not ready for action me i'm it i'm always ready i uh so like i'll i'll time it on my my my heart my phone's like stop watch like okay how many beats per 15 seconds times four do the math whatever and i'll

be like playing an intense game of chess on my phone and i'll feel like it in my stomach like i'm gonna stop and i'm just i'm like 110 it's like 11 at night it's bedtime and i'm like all right i'll jack off to like even this out and then like an hour and a half goes by and it's like one in the morning and I'm like, I check my pulse again and it's still like 110. And I'm like, I'm going to jack off again. But I don't, to what extent is this effective? What is the efficacy of me beating off to try and like even my own heart rate out? See, for me, for me, that'd make it worse.

So I've got asthma. So if I'm laying on my back, it's rough. Do you have to beat off on your stomach? Do you have to beat off on your stomach, like facing your face down? No. That's what you're implying. No, no. I just lay on my back. But if you're jacking off and you have asthma and your heart gets to, like, do you have breathing problems when you're beating off?

No, just I can't breathe when I'm laying down. So I got to be, like, I'll have to, like, readjust a bunch of times, if that makes sense. Like, sit up for a while. Oh, okay. I thought you, dude, I really thought you were implying that your asthma was so bad that when you jack off, you have to like – Well, see, I used to be a flat on the backer. You know what I mean? All the time, and I've gotten to where more of like a – not a 90, like a 135-degree angle or something where I've got a little bit of room there.

Okay. I know everybody appreciates that visual i'm making there but that way my lungs can open up a bit more because like when i can you like breathe when you just like sleep on your back i um i had to honestly i still kind of have to dude this is not funny at all but i i literally have to like sleep on my back and let and hold my shoulder in a certain area so it doesn't dislocate my sleep because of the yeah yeah yeah uh because uh i usually sleep on my side like okay but like uh because i never really thought about it but uh i've tried sleeping on my back and you know i can fall asleep yeah but i'll literally wake up in the night from like not breathing so i really hope that you get a c-pad machine because it would

make this show a lot funnier it would be so funny because i'm like not you're not a fat guy no you're not fat and like you're a pretty fit guy for all things considered, comparable to everyone else. Yeah. I mean, my cardio is terrible, but like – You're pretty swole, dude, you know? Well, I appreciate it, but like – Like, you know, my stats-wise, you know, I've got – My strength is, let's say, you know, like a D&D character or something. My strength is like a – Probably a 14.

You know, we're on a D 20 here. Okay. But that's very generous, but all right. No, no. We're rolling for stats to use a D rolling to 20. Right. And you've got a strength of 14. Look, a lot of people, a lot of our listeners don't know about my squat and deadlift maxes. And we're going to keep those. A lot of our listeners I feel listeners don't know about my squat and deadlift maxes, and we're going to keep those a secret. A lot of our listeners, I feel like, don't know about working out. Yeah.

So maybe, actually, you're right. You can get, yeah. So go ahead. You're 14. Yeah. On the strength. Are you saying that's too high or too low? I don't like the doubt.

I'm saying that's too high. That's too high? That's too high. 14 out of 20. Yeah. That's too high. That's too high? That's too high. 14 out of 20. Yeah, that's too high. Okay, look, if 20 is like superhuman lifting, you're saying – 20 isn't superhuman. If you're maxed out at the strength level of like a game, a fictional wizard's game of D&D,

and 20 is you putting up like 500 pounds on bench that's not 500 pounds okay 25 okay because you can you can get okay you can get boosters okay see i'm putting up half work at numbers you're putting up your your what's your max we cannot keep doing lifting chat but if your max is on bench is what? 315, you said? That's what you wanted to get to? No, that's where I want it to be. Okay. It's probably 265, 270 right now. Okay. So, and your body weight is 210, 220?

Allegedly, 210, yes. Okay. All right. You're not at, I would put you at like an 11. I'm at 14. You're at 11 he's afraid guys when we hit 5000 a month we're going to have a cage fight we are Nick will win in about 14 seconds

undoubtedly I have no experience in an octagon like my grappling he's got me immediately even striking power he's a bigger guy there's no situation in which I win that everything he's got me immediately even striking power he's got he's a bigger guy like he's there's no there's no situation in which i win that unless he's like eight feet away and i get a roundhouse in yeah and he for some reason he doesn't see it coming which

usually you i'm not that fast he'd see you should drug me before we do that yeah here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna give me roofies and you're gonna fuck me i'm gonna lose okay i'm gonna pretend to be fine with it okay i'm gonna let it simmer until we get to 10k a month and then i'm gonna kill you you're gonna be like hey thomas you'll think we're on good terms we're not i'm gonna do it and then i'll feel really bad and mess it up completely and publicly apologize. And then everything's – I'll admit to it. So you're admitting to – you're committing capital murder, but you get away with it in this scenario?

No. No, I don't. I mess it up for myself. And I tell everyone about it because I can't keep secrets that well. I would – if I killed somebody, most people in my life would know i feel like if you killed me with the amount of publicity we've pushed on this thing it would be very it would probably be like the way the news cycle works on twitter dude it would this is actually a compliment it would be twitter news for three days which doesn't sound like much but it that's a lot. That's quite a bit. Like if you killed me,

it would be even funnier is if I like tried to kill you and like completely blew it. You put a bullet, you just put a bullet in me. It goes through and through it. It just like, doesn't. Yeah. Like I live, like, don't how – I try and do some weird movie trick where only, like, I bring a revolver, and I try and, like, Russian roulette it where I, like, spin it. And, like, then it doesn't hit you, and then you just, like, club me to death with the revolver. That's how I'm picturing this. it's very funny that first of all, it's very funny that someone was like,

I post the progress pic on Twitter and someone's like, you and Thomas, when's the pic? I think there's an inherent desire for a lot of people to just see friends on the internet or colleagues in some casual sense go to war and then just blow it all up just to not ever exceed 320 a month which by the way is

absurd to me but like yes just just to have us i think like that if we get because if we get to that point we should ham it up i should should wear like – we should do costumes. I should be – you look more Native American than me. Yes. I'll do a voice. You should. Yeah, you can. And then I can – I'm really pale, and I have some feminine traits insofar.

My eyebrows, maybe I could be a geisha. And then I'll do like a like a karate type that a geisha is a hooker from like ancient chinese time i think uh like a like a work lady of the night from like ancient chinese days i'm interested are any of them still around like skeletons now uh i mean you can be a sex tourist and get anything you want. I'm pretty sure if you like went to like Thailand you could. Well, it's not really how I roll typically.

You're not a sex tourist, man? I'm too shy. I'd be the type of guy to go to Thailand. I'd go to Thailand or whatever and then just try and find a job or something. I can't approach people like that. I would love to go to Thailand and train Muay Thai with the professional people there, but I'm on Twitter and I'm on quite a bit.

And I just know that I could never take a vacation that would mean something to me like that and really spend time with the sport and the culture that way. when i came back there would be like 40 guys at least they were like oh how was how was thailand with like the eye emoji and i'd be like i guess it was i i learned some i went to a couple muay thai fights i had one of my own it was very cool i drank a lot of beer i hung out they're like oh yeah yeah yeah I bet Thailand was great eye emoji in my replies and I'm like it was a lot of fun I I just once you get past a certain point there's nothing that you can do that people just want to call you a pedophile I feel like they want a reason yeah to be like yeah that guy definitely is engaging in morally impulsive behavior.

Well, you are. We've talked about this before, and I'm not, but Jake is. And that's okay. It's something we work around. I'm the acceptable kind of pedophile. If I was going to go to a country right now. Where would you go? All circumstances aside,

I'd like to go to Canada. Canada? For what? There's a lot of funny guys there. What would you go there for? It's a real big place. place okay i'll just walk around okay i don't think i'd say hi to anybody i wouldn't meet anybody there i just um they got uh they got a bunch of like um mountains and stuff don't they like one or two yeah i think so yeah i thought it was like all

mountainous there no i think there's probably like maybe a hill or something ah well well then maybe mexico i think it's very funny to imagine you like fleeing the country for some egregious sin and you're like i'm gonna go to a mountainous area. And then you just go to like, I don't know, some middle of the, some flat like Nebraska. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, I'm fleeing. I'm living the life. I'm here out here in a cornfield.

Dude, this premium. I think you could drop me off anywhere in the, you could drop me off anywhere in the Midwest and I would, and tell me it's a different country, and I would probably believe you for like an hour. You would fit in in the Midwest, dude. Well, not – okay, not the cool Midwest. I'm not trying to insult you, but if I dropped you off on a cornfield somewhere in Nebraska, they would just ask you to get back to work. I feel like as you look now, maybe maybe drop the hoodie maybe put the overalls on and put like a a piece of wheat in your mouth if i dropped you off there and i was like hey thomas we gotta we gotta hit the road we did something super illegal i'm gonna head to i don't know

where i would fit in probably just like like a heroin uh like like a like a methadone clinic somewhere i'd probably fit in there but you know you just walk into some factory in Detroit and they're like get back to work yeah yeah your eyes are dead enough already I'm pale enough I look like I work either in like intelligence or like some steel company

but I drop you off in the middle of Nebraska and they're like yeah you know we got oh shit and you're like I'm the new guy I'm here to, you know, and they put you to work and, and then you and me just sort of live vagabond. It would be very funny to make a lot of money from this podcast, but do something slightly illegal, but not majorly, but we still have to flee the country or at least flee our places of

residence. And then you end up just working some cornfield job or like fixing a tractor and i just end up like you know in a methadone clinic like that's the best cover that i can be offered i end up living in the farmhouse from in cold blood with my happy family and everything yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, fleeing your hometown or whatever is a lot less complicated than most people think. I know one guy, obviously I won't name him or what he did, but it wasn't anything like crazy bad, but it was like a kind of a severe charge, like penalty wise. And he lived in Fort Worth at a time at the time and just moved to dallas and absolutely like got away with it it's been like six years and no one's

even like tried to check up on him he like legally moved and everything and he had like a warrant and he just got away with it most people think you have to go to New Zealand or something, but it's not that complicated. I know a guy who got three – he got a DUI in Dallas and then got out. And then before his date for the first DUI, got a second one, and he was in jail for a little bit. And then before his actual court date, he did time served, got out for the second second one and then just moved to austin and then he's still here i know where he's at and when i ask him about the two dui chart he's like yeah i just sort of drive around and i'm careful he's like i definitely have a warrant probably multiple and i'm like this was in like 2018 so i know that he just is sort of existing with like two like pending warrants for drunk driving and like failure. But that's just – to me, that's just dude stuff.

Like that's just what you do when you have like – you got a busy schedule. Like you don't really have time. Sometimes you can't beat the case. So you do the race. That's my good friend. Take a, yeah. I'm okay.

What are we out here? You know, this is, this is, this is true. So I, I'm, I have my Twitter account.

I retweet a take a innocent post like two or three years ago. Okay. When the height of the whole thing. And I receive a Facebook message from a girl who was like, hey, I follow you on Twitter. And my best friend in the world was the girl that got killed because he was in Texas when this happened. Yeah. It was like near Denton.

My best friend in the whole world was the girl that got her head blown off her body in the altercation in which Tay-K was in the car. And I was involved in the car and I was involved in the proceedings so I think it's really disrespectful for you to like say stuff like that and admittedly dude I'm friends with this girl

and so I was dude you never think in 9 million fucking years something's happened to you but I'm like okay I um it's funny to me to assume that this child who is probably legally morally ethically guilty of of at least attempted murder is innocent because it's funny to say stuff like that but you've presented me with a reality in which maybe he can did commit this crime and i didn't care to hear that so i just left that person on red like yeah like i i i didn't i didn't first of all i didn't even know what happened in texas i didn't know l Arlington Heights? Yes, yeah.

Yeah, that's where he went to school. Really? Yeah, he's from Fort Worth. I thought he was just in Denton doing a show. No, dude, he's like from here. That's nuts. He's like your age, close to at least. No, dude, like, this is weird.

I actually met his manager one time at an art museum ezra why the fuck were you at an art museum to steal shit does shit on the walls no it's i like art museums no you don't no i i do i also like antiquing a lot of people don't know that about me a lot of people think i'm making a gay joke when I say that, but I like walking around looking at stuff. I think if you pivoted to being like a high-powered snooty intellectual, that would really, really like you. And I saw this – this was 2018. I saw this guy who looked vaguely familiar. And then, like, I was in the gift shop later, and I saw him on FaceTime with, like, a record executive guy. And I was like, wait a minute. I was like, this is ezra anyway but like uh no i i know people who have like have mutual friends

with people who are like around take a which is weird but i i never knew the guy or really had any connection to him but that's just because he was like a fort worth dallas guy yeah but it's it's weird to like have like international focus on a guy who went to Arlington Heights, you know? Yeah, no, it's weird when like – I don't know. There was a Tyler, the Creator show I was supposed to go to in Austin one year, and I didn't end up going because – Boo. Okay. I don't – I think he's right.

Yeah, he sucks. That's cool. No, I i'm kidding i still have like an old odd future shirt uh and like earl was supposed to be there and i'm a big girl so i said fan so i was super excited to go to the show anyway we i literally got too coked up to even get in an uber that night we all got too fucked up at the house so we didn't end up going and then like an hour and a half later somebody smashed through the front gates of the show and killed a bunch of people with their car and i was like i was reading the tweets live on my phone and i was like man i could have straight up died and then i was like man whatever you know like i just i was like yeah i guess i could have died then or whatever or like i've been at least been at least my luck i would have been maimed beyond repair but not dead just kind of one of those guys that has to be like a an inspirational wheelchair guy like you know my life's good i'm i'm like you you know

my penis works or whatever isn't tyler the creator still like banned from a bunch of cities yeah it's i think he's banned from austin but i don't think he was from that show no he's banned from houston because he he got on top of the way like apparently where you like hold the the lights up on shows and he was like tear told everyone to tear the venue apart and then they just sort of like did or something like that see those those days that's when it was like kind of that was a pretty cool burn school fuck shit kind of yeah that was like our rage that was like my little many generations like rage against the machine except not really the same cultural. It's ours. It's ours. You know, I'm Z millennial cusp, okay?

Yeah, I guess. I mean, I was like 14 at the time, though. I was 18. Yeah. So, I mean, I never even went to a show or anything. I just thought they were cool. And then I guess it was like Flower Boy era where I was like, I don't know if this is... I don't think I'm the target for this

anymore, you know? Not that I like... Not that even like he... Maybe he makes bad music. I don't know. I just sort of drifted away from it. It's like in high school, I really liked A$AP Rocky a lot. And now I don't know i just sort of drifted away from it it's like i in high school i really liked asap rocky a lot and now i don't really listen to him i first went to college my first semester of college was in 2012 every i was a freshman all right i'm 18 i'm freshly 18 i'm like i want to go to parties This is college man

Every party I walked into Was one of two songs If you left a party and then went to another one One of two songs was playing It was Pursuit of Happiness by Kid Cudi Or it was Gold All in My Chain by Trinidad James

Trinidad James And so I would like leave a house party cause it sucked. The cops showed up. And so I would like drive a couple of streets down the road and it would be like, you know, everything to shine and all the gold. Yeah. And I would go in the backyard, the cops would show up and then that would sort of go on for like seven months. And then, uh, like Yeezus dropped.

No, not Yeezus. Yeah, it was Yeezus. And then it was just like Black Skinhead and Bound 2. And I liked that era better, I think. I think I had a better amount of – I remember when it was – i first started like going to stuff you know socially i think that was when fetty wop was like blowing up and there was like a solid summer i think it was like 2016 where dude they they were running it and yeah the uh you know

like trap queen and all that shit yeah Yeah. That wasn't too bad. I mean, like, I don't know. It's just fun music. It's weird how it's just sort of like that in Swimming Pools by Kendrick Lamar. Remember that? Yeah, I do. Yeah. Money Trees was a song that, like, again, I couldn't escape.

Like, I do like that track quite a bit but i would like show up at a guy's house and he'd be like like i would show up at a guy's house to buy the drugs for the party later in the evening and that song will be playing and i'd like walk out with like my coke or whatever and then i would show up to the party i meant to go to five hours later and it'd be like you know uh you know i'm not gonna say the n-word but you can just get you just honest enough i'm thinking about it me and my buddies you know trying to get it you bish and then like you know i was like oh i like this song and then like again like two and a half months of just steady like that you know yeah uh profoundly profoundly I got at one point I just kind of stood in my house

I had a fake idea I just started buying beer and then like that was enough yeah it's cool it's almost like a one like constant you know any era it's going to be like 20 songs on the go to like you know any era it's going to be like 20 songs on the the go-to like you

know party playlist or whatever yeah it's going to be about the same ones it's sort of cool like you know in like 15 years or so we'll all be able to remember like those songs that we don't really like anymore but they were just playing for some reason uh