Pendejo Time - Road Trip

Episode Date: September 7, 2024

Drove from Portland to Weed, had to use some old lav mics, this is a documentation of that trip. EnjoySupport the show

Royalty free metal 10 million hours. This is my favorite song. Show me your mud cheeks. Show me your butt cheeks. Show me your... They hit the motherfucking floor! Show me your balls too My balls are small!

They're tiny! Dick is small! Tiny balls! Tiny balls! Tiny balls! Tiny balls! Let me see your booty dance! You want me spaghetti? You want me spaghetti? Eat it with the food!

You eat it with food! Time to eat the noodles! Spaghetti Chicken tender chicken tender ham murder steak Ice cream! Ice cream! Spaghetti Oats! Ground beef! Ingredients! Paprika! Sesame sauce! Sesame oil!

Sesame oil sauce! It's got a good smoke point. It's got a good smoke point. Spaghetti's is sesame sauce! It's got a good smoke point. It's got a good smoke point. Spaghetti sesame sauce! Oil! Get that spaghetti sesame sauce! Oil sauce! What does it get you?

What does it get you? What does it get you? Sesame squash! Sesame squash? Sesame oil juice! Sesame squash! Sesame squash? Sesame oil squash! Sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame oil squash! Smoothie, smoothie, smoothie green. Smoothie, smoothie, smoothie food.

Smoothie, smoothie, smoothie sauce Sauce juice from my big cup My god vegetables Vegetables like an apple Strawberry apple my favorite kind of fruit my uncle makes it Uncle makes strawberry apples He does it in his house. He can grow them at his house. He made a red apple.

At his old house. Sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame squash. Sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame squash. Sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame squash. Sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame squash. Sesame, sesame, sesame sauce. Ah! 15 apples! Four pears!

11 oranges! 15 cherries! And a coca, coca, coca, coca, coca, coca, coca, coca, coca, coca, coca, coca, coca, coca, coca, or not! Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go Sesame squash! Mr. Rectomy the sesame squash! Mr. Rectomy the sesame squash! Mr. Rectomy the sesame squash! With the sesame the sesame squash! Taxing my bus!

My teeth are like two claws. Sesame! When you give it to me I like to eat it with the east. Sesame squash. My girlfriend's name is Sesame, Sesame, Sesame, Sesame Squash. My uncle's name is Sesame, Sesame, Sesame, Sesame Squash. New kind of vegetable.

I made a new kind of vegetable. New kind of vegetable is called the Eclonix. New type of vegetable. I eat Eclonix. New type of vegetable. And it's called the Eclonix. Eclonix. What's it look like?

The green Eclonix. What's it shaped like? It's shaped like a tube. If a tube was a circle, and the circle was several circles. And the circle was a tube. In the Eclonics. Green Eclonics. It's like a sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, sesame, country

sesame songs I hope they can hear that. Yeah I think they have no idea how it's going to mix down but I think it'll be fine. Yeah it'll be fine. These mics are really hot dude they pick up a lot of shit. But the road noise will help too. Yeah. Hello everybody. No that's not... You have the regular Spotify? No I'm doing doing royalty free stuff. Oh, nice. Nice. Nice. Nice. Back home, we got a little thing we like to call a little something else. It's something called a little something different. Yeah.

It ain't like you got it in the big city. Big city folk don't understand what we got. We got a little something else. It's something different. And it is a little something different. It goes like this. And this is how it goes. When it starts, you'll see it.

You'll know when it starts. You'll know when it happens and what to expect. Sometimes you got to take a piece of meat. You get it right out of a tree. You cut it in two, three. And you split that into half. You split that into quarters. And by then you got some pieces of meat.

You give them to the people with feet. And you take your feet out of the mud. Put your work boots on. Go on to work and pretend your name's John. When you're done, you come home. And your wife has a big piece of fruit. She put it out of the ground. Ground fruit.

They don't have that in the North. Can't find that in the ground. Ground fruit. They don't have that in the north. Can't find that in the city. You can't find that in the town. We got plenty of fruit and we pull it right out of the ground. You won't find that in New York. You won't find that in Philly. We got types of vegetables that make me feel silly. Tell them Tom. See those vegetables make me feel funny. When you pull them out of the ground it looks like it's money. But it's not. That's the ground fruit. Make the ground fruit for dinner and that pound is cute. That's just something that rhymes. And when you have a good time, go down to the creek and pull out something out of the ground.

And you bring it home to your kid named Rudolph. And you know that he's got new socks. And when he wears them, don't his feet look so normal? My son got two feet and you know that one time he was down and he was down and he's doing okay. Go ahead Jake. And when you go to the country you're gonna find a big ass bug and he'll tell you his story how he grew up in the mud.

I got a dog in my truck. I don't fuck him, don't ask why. I love my dog and I love my truck and I love fruit. I love fruit. I love fruit baby and it's all about country fruit. I love fruit. You can't find that in the city. It's country fruit.

It's country fruit from the ground. Or the creek. It's country fruit. It's country fruit from the ground or the creek or the lake bed or your wife's bowl. That's called fruit. Little something else. That's little something else by uh tug and muffler. By the fruit basket. Jerry Fingers and the Fruit Basket. Jerry Fingers and the Fruit Basket presents Tug Muffler. My cousin works for National Tire and Battery. He drove his truck drunk through the store. So he don't work there no more.

He had a TBI. He's a pretty nice guy. My cousin died in a car crash and we stole all his money. My cousin died in a motorcycle crash and we fucked his body. My cousin worked for the store. He got fruit out of the ground. He got fruit out of the ground. But he's dead now. Well ain't that something Jake? A crazy story about your cousin. Yeah. Who's dead? Well I got a cousin too Jake. Tell me all about him Tom. I. Who's dead? Well, I got a cousin too, Jake. Tell me all

about him, Tom. I will in the following verse. Let's get right. As soon as I get started, you'll know when I'm about to get started. You know. And it's gonna be something. My cousin, his name was Grumpy. We called him that because his legs were stumpy. And we hit them with the bat while he slept. Make them all black and bruised and he'd wake up and then we'd hit him again and then we'd get his rib cage and we'd put hooks in there and then we'd put them on the back of the truck. Let the tailgate down, kick him out the back of the truck as the hooks dug deeper and then we'd ride on them back roads until till old grumpy be all red from the dirt and also all the blood

pecked over his body then we kick him in then we feed him to some pugs and they're real hungry because they didn't get no food so the wild pugs down in texas they like to eat cousins and when you get a new cell phone, well, it's gonna be buzzing. Go ahead Jake, that's something I had to get off my chest. That's really more of a tragedy than anything. Really just something that you- That's a man overlooked by the rest of society.

But that's the thing. You don't know what it's like in the country cause you're a city homosexual man. I've got a lot of animals and I got a big ass piece of land. I got a big old bazooka there to shoot my wife with. I throw my son down the stairs. Yeah, it's a little country thing. Don't expect too much from me. Cause I'm fundamentally a bad person. I'm a bad person. A bad person. Yeah, we're bad persons. I'm a really bad person.

Oh, bad person. You won't find a lot of shit out here in the country. People glorify the country. There ain't shit to do. That song is called Oops. That one is by Jimbo Thimble and the

Buck Tooth Tigers. Yeah. Oh, okay. Slow fog creeping over the Appalachian Mountains. A black misty rain touches the heavens. A great storing bird flies over the Potomac and my balls are out. Through my Levi's, my 501's, just my balls. I'm standing on my porch. No dig. No dig.

Just balls. I'm standing on my porch. I'm smoking a corn cob pipe the size of a human femur. And I fought hard for this land and my pappy raised lemurs on it and his pappy raised Lazarus from the dead. And here I am staring over my little patch. My patch of God's green earth. My Pappy sat on this porch with his balls out

for a hundred years, same as his Pappy. And this is a little song about Pappies. Pappies, they can be big or small, can't they? But when you see a Pappy, well, that's nice. So good to see Pappy, whether he's wearing something or he's not. When you see a big grandpa and you know that he's in a hot air balloon. And you're trying, he's trying to throw the rope down so that you can, that you can pull him back down. But he keeps going up.

And your grandpa's going up into space. And he's got his overalls on. You say, Pappy, get the hell out of space. Pappy, what are you doing up in space, Pappy? Pappy, get out of space. There's no oxygen. Pappy, ain't nothing up there for you, Pap. Pap, your dog is down there. Pap, your wife misses you.

Why are you taking the hot air balloon all the way to... Papilus, Papilus, get down. Papilus Johnson. And now you're Papilus, because your Pap is up in space. Oh, yeah. That's the story of my Pappy. He got in a hot air balloon and left this world behind. Legend has it he's still up there, hurting lemurs.

Hurting lemurs and fucking balls out through his fucking wrangler work overalls. He's a hard working man, Pap. You remember he used to sit us on his knee and make us suck on a lollipop. And he'd stare into our eyes while we did it. I always liked that. I loved that about Pap. It was a very pure thing he would do.

Yeah, yeah. It'd be weird if other people did it, but when he did it, it was fine. If you ever broke eye contact, Pappy, oh my god, he would pinch the skin on the inside of your thigh till it bled. Yeah. We used to call him the terrorist.

That's the thing people don't understand about the South, man. It's just stories like that, and it's just legends. And it's family more than anything. Yep, I like that. Bye bye, Pappy. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh makes you slow. And so they're out here all around here and here. I knew a boy. He lived in a box. Down by the creek. We used to call him Turd.

And we'd throw rocks at him. He had a learning disability But that's how we do it down there It's not called bullying if somebody's different from you It's just called fun Oh boy, I'll sing it on again. You saw me spill it all over your town again. I did, oh lordy, I'll sing it on again. I'll sing it on again, get your shoes on. Buddy!

And that boy grew up, yeah, he grew up tough. And he grew up to be President Barack Hussein Obama. Now ain't that something? That one summer in Alabama, We all fucked baby Barack Obama. That was something you could only find out in the woods. Spin on it on it, that's about a tail of twelve mil. Break on on it, in on it, bound.

Now two feet tight, feet up and a lick on the board. Skippin' around with my bus and going down one long. And I lick on them gold See what that man by saying Go, go, go, go, go Now everything's different There's people with gender There's people with pronouns And they didn't exist before 2020 The world's got kind of funny. I like to wear a dress but that don't make me gay. It just makes me smart. Beautiful.

Absolutely gorgeous. That was called Cousin Barack by Freddie Flavor and Sticky Sidewinder. This is a love song. Yep. This is a love song on the album. And I remember when we were recording this, the label said no love songs. But you said, I got something in my heart. Yeah, I sure did. And you let them have it. Yeah, I got something in my heart. Yeah, I sure did. And you let him have it.

Yeah, I did. Making love to you feels so OK. It's like you're a girl, and I'm not gay. I'm just a guy thinking about a girl. While I'm with a girl, I'm not thinking about a guy. I'm not thinking about a girl while I'm with a girl I'm not thinking about a guy I'm not thinking about a Jane thinking about Charles thinking about David thinking about Carl thinking about Lucas thinking about Christian thinking about all the cute boys

who used to listen to watching by the pool, kissing in school making love next to the creek while you were out with another guy yes, maybe so was I next down, down by the creek me and Lucas were laying cheek to cheek. Yeah. Pounding it out. Uh-huh.

Thinking about girls. Girls. Thinking about trucks. Now I've got a girl. And I'm thinking about you. Thinking about me. Thinking about boots and the old oak tree. Yep.

Thinking about us. Thinking bout life. Thinking bout making you my straight wife. Thinking bout call when we're up in bed. Thinking bout Mitch when you give me head. Thinking bout Lewis when When we're alone. You're my straight wife. Call you on the phone.

Call you on the phone. Thinkin' bout Kayla. Thinkin' bout Eric. Thinkin' bout Jacob. Thinkin' bout Ricky. Thinkin' bout, I'm runnin' now to boys that's thinkin' bout one, thinkin' bout four, hey, down we use to take siestas and lay, thinkin thinking bout Adolf, thinking bout Ivan, thinking bout Mangler, Winston Churchill, thinking bout Stalin, Nelson Mandela, thinking bout Jay-Z, he's

a fella, all my boys got names. Wow, beautiful. That was called Thinkin' About You by Brother Lizard. Yup. Yup. Thank you for joining us. We've got a couple more songs for you guys tonight. What's the venue called again Thomas?

What's this place called? I believe it's called the the Rooter and the Tudor. Yeah. Yeah, thank you all for coming out Rooter and Tudor. This one right here, this is a little song about Yeah, thank y'all for coming out and rooting for Tudor. This one right here, this is a little song about missing home. I miss it, I miss home.

You go. No, you go. When I'm on the road I think about all the things we used to talk about at home. I got a dog back home. I got a son back home. I got a gun back home. And I'ma aim it at you when I get there. I got a kid back home. I got a gun back home and I'ma aim it at you when I get there. I got a kid back home.

I got a beer back home. I got a dog back home. I'm gonna kill it for you. I got a fish back home. I got a wish back home. I got a big backbone gonna blow it out for you. I got a dick back home, a big stick back home, it goes in my back lawn and pull it out for you. It's miles and miles away from my child, it's miles and miles away from my son, from my gun, from my boy who I don't even love that much

but he looks just like me and so does my fish I got a fish he's spitting image of me and his name is Elvis he's Elvis the fish Elvis the fish ladies and gentlemen now a verse from Elvis the Fish. Billy bong bong. Billy bong bong. I'm a bass. Billy billy bass. Bass bass bass bass bass. Thank you Elvis the Fish. Thanks for granting me my wish. Thanks for the kiss.

Delish. Delish. Wow thank you so much Elvis the Fish. I was called Elvis the fish I was called Elvis the fish by the Grimler Oh yeah I remember this tune I wrote this song when I was in jail sitting alone on my bunk bed with my prison husband. His name was Black Tony.

This song's for you, Black Tony. Just let me wet my whistle and sing it. Me and Black Tony, we got this thing going on. Me and Black Tony, we got this thing going on. Me and Black Tony, we like to stay out long. He gives me a kiss. Black Tony's got a huge ass dick, and he puts it in my butt, and it makes me sick. It's Black Tony, Black Tony, Black Tony, Black Tony, my wife.

Hanging out on the prison yard, hanging out in the shower. Black Tony used to put me on his knee, bounce me around, we played horsey. He was seven foot tall, 425 pounds. He was in prison for eating people. Ain't that right, Black Tony? Yeah that's right. I'm Black Tony and I'm really bony. Bony guy. And I have a story.

What's your story, Tony? There once was a horse who was friends with a cow and they went to the barn for their new hay chow and then they saw a chicken he was really funny he made them both laugh and they laughed so hard their noses got runnin'. Thank you Black Tony my husband. You're welcome I love you my welcome. I love you, my husband. I love you, husband. Black Tony, Black Tony, Black Tony, Black Tony's my wife.

Black Tony, Black Tony. Black Tony, I love you, brother. I love you, too. I can't wait to get lethally injected with you for all the bad things we did to people. I want to get lethally injected with your semen. Very beautiful. Oh man. Alright I think I need a new genre. Reggae or dancehall? Yeah we can do dancehall, we can do reggae. I'm down for that. Dancehall would be kind of faster paced so it might do dance hall. We can do reggae. I'm down for that.

Dance hall would be kind of faster paced, so it might be easier. Royalty free reggae, yeah. I wanna go to fuckin' Babylon. Jamaica, Jamaica. 20 royalty free instrumental reggae, nine hours. Pass the door to my left hand side. Be with me, be with me,

by the bomb bomb. Ass and butchings on my left hand side. I was so excited when I heard the sandwich was back. Shut the fuck up, dude. No one gives a goddamn shit. That's how you guys know Jake doesn't have YouTube Premium. Oh my god, it's crazy. Me neither do I, though.

But I, it's OK. OK. I think this is it. Let's see. This sounds kind of scary Sounds What the fuck I am having a nightmare The demons they want me yeah, yeah, I am being destroyed by demons

Just woke up on the reef. I get a scare The demon come in he. We smoke the Delta and ganja. And get attacked by evil demons. They take my pants off and rape me. The evil demon. The Delta and demon. The demon, the demon. The demon, the demon. The demon, the demon. Oh, yeah.

It's hard for me to do this accent because it drifts into Indian. Thank you. You are the guest station owner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am the bodega. Billy Bodega. Billy Bodega. Okay. Take your hands off me. Oh, me guano mo so badac.

Just kidding. All right, we can do danto, or what if you wanted like peso pluma type shit? That might be easier. Okay. Might be harder to find though. Oh, I don't know. We'll see. All right.

Reggae was a dud. It was hard for me to do that accent. But Dantel, I don't know, might be, Dantel is a little faster. Royalty. We also don't have to do a racist action, I guess. Yeah, that's bad. We don't have to do a racist action I guess. Yeah that's bad don't have to do it that long.

All right. smooth blues rock music one hour this kinda sounds like the country do you want me to look? yeah yeah you find something are we still recording? nice Thank you guys for hanging on through this. Yeah, of course. You guys are the best. If you came to any of the shows, you're awesome. Sexy and awesome.

Seattle was sick. Portland was cool. This is Rhythm. Let's see. This is an ad, sir. Oh, you're good. No, wait, no it's not. This is music? This is so jarring. Yeah, I gotta. They call me the mailman.

Cause I'm dropping off the mailman. Yeah, I'm in the fucking pail man Oh like a lunch. I got the pale man Yeah, you would have thought I went to Yale man. Yeah, cuz I'm looking real smart man. Yeah like Like I teach art man. Yeah And I'm going crazy I'm silly I'm going crazy. I'm silly. I'm lazy. Oops, baby. Sexy booby song.

Sexy booby song. Sexy booby song. Love me all night long. I can't, I can't believe it. I can't believe it, Thomas. What's up? The beat is too powerful. It's overtaking me.

It's making me lusty. It's making you lustful. It's making me lustful, dude. It's making me, I think I'm having a manic episode. I'm having a manic episode. I'm having a manic episode. I'm having a manic episode. I'm having a manic episode.

I'm having a manic episode. I'm having a manic episode. I'm having a manic episode. I'm um, lusty. It's making you lustful. It's making me lustful, dude. It's making me... I think I'm having a manic episode. Oh, that's crazy. Because of how the beat is making me... Because it sounds so good. Yeah. Because we like this so much.

It sounds like Madden music. Listen to the lizard. Listen to the lizard, hear him talk. Listen to the lizard, hear him talk. Listen to the lizard, hear him talk. Listen to the lizard, hear him speak. Listen to the lizard, hear him yell. Listen to the lizard, hear him cry. Listen to the lizard and he comes back and you see him again. Lizard scan. Lizard scan. Scales. Green music. It's got scales. And like the ocean, it's got whales.

Damn, I already said Yale. And I already said pale, why do I keep going back to that? Fuck you Thomas. And now I promise I won't go back to say in sale Except that's what's on show remember This is a little bit insane. This is bad Scrub just see what's next. Oh

My god, dammit It's a pretty drive out here. Yeah, it looks like shit. I fucking hate the woods. I hate the fucking woods. I hate the Pacific Northwest forests. Stupid nasty, stupid buttcheek town. I'd rather listen to you. Uh oh.

All this shit is terrifying, dude. I'm running for you. I'm running for you. I'm running for you. No way. I'm running for you. This is going to be so crazy if the mics aren't picking the music up. But they should. Life is like a little popsicle. Oh my god, yeah, Caribbean nights. Fell in love with the island. I fell in love with the island. I fell in love with the island.

I fell in love with the guy. I fell in love with the island. I fell in love with the giant. I love that beat, it's not even... I love that beat, it's not even... I love that beat, it's not even... I love that beat, it's not even... I love that beat, it's not even...

I love that beat, it's not even... I love that beat, it's not even... I love that beat, it's not even... I love that beat, it's not even... I love that beat, it's not even... in love with the island. I fell in love with a giant. I love that beat tag. It's not even... Yeah, I fell in love with that guy. Yeah. I fell in love with the island. I fell in love with the water.

I fell in love with the corals. I fell in love with the fishes. I fell in love with the islandals I fell in love with the fishes I fell in love with the island I fell in love with the island And now I'm so stylish, rape on the beat and you know that we are violent Island boy, island boy Yeah, about to get violent About to get violent About to kill everybody else on the island

about to kill everybody, we're about to hurt everybody all up in the club and we're about to kill everybody on the island club and we're about to kill everybody chillin on the island, but you know it's about to get violent I'm about to tear off some islands came up in the spot and you know I got scrylin'. When my friend Ryland came out and... We were wylin'. Yeah. The police were profilin'. They thought that we had skin whitenin'.

Awesome man, I love the island. I love the island. And now I have a trident. Night of the island. It was a night of the island. It was a night of the island. Violent with the Giants and now we have eyelids hanging out with Billy Eilish on a very delicious island.

So really happy and you know that I'm smiling. Crispy critter. This shit jory. Hey you my darling. Ooh baby. Can I move into your house? Can I move into your place? Can I move into your apartment? Can I move into your place? Can I move into your apartment?

I'm going through a bad time. Can I see your dog? Can we fall in love? Can I see your mom? Can I see your dad? Baby, I want to be with you tonight in the club and forever and I need some money also. And I need some money. Headlight.

You wanna do a different... Yeah, this is tough. I feel like we were... I hate to say it, but maybe it's our blood. I feel like we were crushing with the country. Yeah, we could also do like rap, I guess. Yeah. Like R&B.

Maybe. All right, royalty free. Royalty free. Let's see. Rap. Royalty free. Do you want me to type it in? Yeah, royalty free whatever the fuck.

I gotta get the juice flowing. I'm gonna go on YouTube and I'll just do free beats, because those are all words. Oh, yeah. Goofy ad beat. Heading to Weed, California to fucking stay at the hotel hotel and then we'll go to LA. It'll be awesome. Sorry this is a NAD.

That's alright. For Sheen, you guys check out Sheen, this is a sponsored button. And now this is for, this is for Usician. Get Usician. Yep, awesome. Usician. Ah, okay. Ah, okay. Musician that's yep awesome musician. Okay Okay This goes out to all the shotties yeah

This was for all the baddies all the dotties all the shotties all the Other people with bodies yeah, yeah Hey, baby girl Are you rubbing on me? Are you rubbing on me right now? I can't tell I Took a bunch of my soul relaxers before we went to the club Now I don't know if you're rubbing on' on me, girl are you rubbin' on me, girl I just had Lasik surgery

so I really can't see if that's you that's rubbin' on me or is that a piece of poop from my B-U-T-T I don't know if that's in my booty or if you got a D-I-C C-C Hey Hey Hey I don't know if that's my boutique or if you got a DIC.

C, C. Hey, is that you rubbin' on me? If that's okay with you. I can't read social cues. Yeah, is that a W? If you're rubbin' on me after laser surgery when I'm feelin' lonely and I'm in that C-E-L-U-E-B The K-Lo-B-E In the club with you baby high on soma are you rubbing me girl

When I get the muscle relaxers it's hard for me to play piano in the club Makes me wonder why I even wield this thing in I'm trying to play Beethoven, and now you got my legs way open Yeah, I'm trying to But it's hard for me to enjoy cause I'm experiencing side effects from my Lasik surgery And I'm high as hell on some drugs from the pharmacy The doctor said I can't play piano for a while after laser surgery cuz I can't see the keys. Oh Beat switch and this is just some real shit. Yeah. Yeah, this is this is a

This is love this is from a real street hustler real street hustler. Rolling, rolling. Rolling on that shit, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cruisin' in the Camry, it's a rental. I need health insurance, I need dental. Cruisin' in the Camry, it's a rental. I need health insurance, I need dental. Cruisin' in the Camry, it's a rental. I need health insurance, I need dental.

Yeah, collision insurance incidental. Incidental. My money goin' down incremental. Incremental. Yeah, I'm feelin' sentimental. For all the sins I lost and sins I done got, lemme miss my mental. Yeah.

Cruisin' in the Yoda. It's a rental. Got it from Enterprise. So on this we must be gentle. We didn't get full insurance on the rental. If somebody steals it, we all fuck on the rental. I put it on the master card. It's a rental.

Yeah. They had a- I'm a Gentile. They tried to give me a Jeep, but it wasn't there. So they said, there's a Camry, it's over there Yeah, it was gonna be a Jeep, we're in the game They said boy you white and you not getting paid So you going in the car, you looking pretty gay

And then, now I'm wearing 50 shades. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck that means. Yeah. I'm on the five. It's a highway. I live my life my way. Gray rental Camry in the driveway. Gray rental Camry in the driveway Gray rental Camry in the driveway. Yeah

Camry in the driveway But we don't got a driveway a hundred bucks a day for the Getting big paid getting Getting big money paid, getting molla. Getting big money from the shows. Cast a check for $77. Thanks. Wait, what the fuck? This is an ad for American Express.

Okay. And now we have another one for First for diapers. This is Jake's YouTube and I think he wants diapers diapers and I need it's laundry actually All right, you might have a spits some real shit like just at the top just like some real shit Girl, girl, yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, girl. Oh, bubba.

Oh, yeah, girl. Oh. It's fat, I'm a girl. And I gotta give something on my big fat chest. Just kidding. Um. And I gotta get something on my big fat chest When you hold my hand, my penis gets hard. When you touch my leg, my penis gets large. When you buy me food, my penis gets big. When you give me a juice, my penis gets rigid.

Baby girl, I love you oh my god And I start loving on you girl It makes me feel okay It makes me feel like, yeah right, that's fine When I go to your apartment, I feel okay I don't like the neighborhood I feel weird about leaving my car out there And sometimes when you say When you say I should stay the night I say that something bad happened to my family So I don't have to stay the night Cause you know a lot of stuff happens out there

Where I don't know if I should leave my car out there all night It was a $1500 car but I still don't know I don't know how much money that is If it's a lot or not cuz I make like $200 a year There's a hoodlum outside. He's looking at the whip There's a bad boy outside. He's looking at the whip. He's thinking can I steal it? He can and and remember Social and economic factors led him to make that decision. Ain't that right Thomas? Yeah Get some candy for this next one. You gotta get the juice

I'm gonna go into some harder stuff. Okay. Like rock? No, like harder rap. Oh, like trap beats? So we don't have to sing the whole time. Okay, that's fine. Yeah, it's starting to hurt my throat. Yeah, I was completely losing my voice on that one.

I was like, I'm gonna do like a Detroit type beat. Okay. So we can literally just say stuff on it. Yeah. And it will sound like. Yeah, of course. Scaly little lizard living under my porch. Scaly little lizard living under my porch. He tells me his secrets and he tells me his lies. He tells me his stories through his little lizard eyes Actually clicked on a discord notification It's crazy that the service is bad here in the middle of nowhere Where there's only like rest stops. I wonder if Spotify has royalty free shit, I would assume. Yeah they do. Dunder and Mifflin and Pam calls Jim's phone.

Dunder and Mifflin. Y'all ready for some real shit? I'm gonna try itchy skin and... Don't drown him in for me. Y'all ready for some real shit? Damn. Tearing it up. White boy, tear it up. Alright. Tear it up, white boy.

Tell him, white boy. Yeah. He just got mad at my own jeans because they was touching on me. I got a big bank roll, it keeps rubbing on me. That's why I call it my uncle, it keeps rubbing on me. I call my dick weird because it keeps tugging on me. Yeah. Tugging at me like some hard strings. Roll it up, you know I had to go through some hard things. Yeah.

Like my dick, I got hard things. And I know that it's like a cigar thing where I roll it up and suck on it. You might come down and duck on it. Like I started shooting every time I wanna suck some dick, I just duck on it. Like it's open hunting season, I just duck on it. I just dove on it.

I just dove on it. And I got my dick clean, put some dove on it. Yeah, and you know I had to scrub on it cause I had a scab on it. Like I just broke through the union picket line, yo boy I had a scab on it And you know I had to take a little stab at it No Julius Caesar, but I pull up at the club and I get a Caesar salad I have a Caesar and then I sing a ballad

Yeah, I got a complicated palate I can't eat chicken nuggets, cause I can't eat anything that's shaped like a nugget Except a piece of gold Yeah, I pull up in a Rolls Rolls Royce and that's my dinner a dinner Rolls is a dinner for a Rolls Royce and that's crazy yeah Talk to him white boy, talk to him white boy I feel like a lollipop I keep sucking on me yeah I'm so rich I could do in the army go straight to the top and shoot my own self Full metal jacket if it was just the one guy

Yeah, just the one guy put me in a room by myself. I'm the one guy. Yeah Thanksgiving. I got one pie Yeah, but I got my pine a lot of fingers got my fingers in my pie I fingered a lot of pies I fingered a lot of guys and a lot of girls Yeah, in a lot of non-binary people. I fingered everybody. Everybody in the club getting fingered. Everybody in the club getting fingered. Everybody in the club getting fingered. That's my phone just call, that's a ringer. Oh my god, that's a dead ringer like a dead phone. Yeah, I got eyes like an iPhone.

Oh yeah, I do. Whose an iPhone. Oh yeah, dude. Whose phone is that? My phone. Man, that was a great one. I joined the army. It was perfect. Okay. Oh, what if we went over one of these but we were schizophrenic the whole time? I mean, I think that's what we've been doing.

No, but like we were accusing people like, you know what I mean? Accused? What do you mean? Like the government's attacking us and stuff. Uh-oh. I see what you mean, yes. Yeah, this goes out to the people with the wires. This goes out to the people with the bugs in my house. They're putting bugs in my house, metal in my plates. And they put the, they put the robots in my fingers

Stop doing that. They put a robot in the pussycat They put in surveillance in the eyes every team. I can't my cat blinks. They take a picture of me In my house putting guns in my shoes to shoot me while I walk Yeah, they shoot me while I talk yeah they shoot me while I talk looking through my cabinets while I'm not there they put a lock on my door just to lock me out of my house when my keys is gone I get my keys out my car and throw them in the fucking dungeon I got a chip in my neck I got a chip in my neck I got a chip in my neck. I got a chip in my neck. I got a bug in my skin I got a chip in my neck. I got a bug in my skin

Yeah, it's for goes out to all my haters who keep putting evil poisons in my suit Miss you want to kill me don't hurt my suit Yeah, don't touch my fucking fruity loops And don't put stuff in my SpaghettiOs And spill bad words that hurt me with the messages Yeah I'm talkin' to the voices that tellin' me I'm talkin' to the voices that tellin' me That tellin' me to kill you Don't talk to me through the radio, ever

Not a good way to reach me They're telling me to kill you. Don't talk to me through the radio ever. Not a good way to reach me. And to my uncle who died a few years ago, stop sending me letters saying that it's from the insurance. But when I mess it up, when I mix up the words, and then makes a different word to hurt me, and stop making herpes on my body. Alright.

My dominoes mixing match? Shut up! Starts now. Nice. Let me get a piece of that. Please donate to the Patreon so Jacob can get Youtube premium. Yeah. Yeah.

Come on now. Come on now. Yeah. Come on now. Come on now. Yeah, y'all thought you could kill me with poisons and batteries and messages and different waveforms. Well, think again, motherfucker, because I'm still standing. I got more weapons than ever. I got more knives than you could ever imagine. I got more bombs in my house and I've been learning how to read them.

I've been learning how to make them. Police tried to kill me just by sending me traffic letters, guilty I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond Raymond Romano told me to go shoot everybody at Luby's I got my gun, I went to Luby's and I killed everybody cause Raymond Romano told me to do it it. with the emails can't you do no better you got money you been to prison and I know exactly where I've been living living you put something in my doorknob so they lock behind me you put stuff into my TV so the static happens you put chips into my cereal to make it hard you put bugs in my house to create tantrums.

I don't want to get sick no more so stop putting lead into my foil that I put in my food. When I eat the foil it's to deflect the x-rays not to get sick from it. So stop giving me constipation when I'm eating plastic wrap to feel better about my stomach I'm wrapping up the food so it comes out clean in my stomach listen to the wizard when he tells you his story listen to the sage when he tells you his mystery. Listen to the voices that tell you to die. Listen to the guy who works at the gas station. They're all telling you to go...

Cut off your mom's ears! Yeow! Yeow! Son, stop it! Yeow! Yeow! This goes out to Tom and Jerry Stop telling me to fall and get my face in the powder And when they sweep you away You're gonna see who

Really brings a brainstorm Welcome to the fucking brainstorm And to the auto zone and to the all those unemployed saying that I drive a car no I don't I'm not legally allowed they put a gun in my driver's license picture if my driver's license is a picture of a gun my driver's license is a picture of a knife my driver's license is a picture of a knife. My driver's license is a picture of a bomb. Yeah. And if y'all want to keep talking behind my back,

you're gonna see who's really secretly named Zack. What does that mean? Zack Trimester, FBI. Zack Trimester, FBI. Zach trimester, FBI. Put the gun down sir, Zach trimester, FBI. Oh my God. Hey man, hey.

Hey sexy, hey sexy. Yeah, yeah, hey sexy, hey sexy. Yeah, yeah, hey sexy, hey sexy. Boy you know these balls super flat, I ain't lying. Your balls are flat. Dude it's uh, it's foggy, man. I wonder if there's anything going on around here. This is like Silent Hills. Or Silent Hill. One Hill.

Silence of the Hills? Silence of the... They should name it Silence of the Scary Guy. Yes. Nowadays it would probably be Science of the Zoloft Hills. Yeah. Science of the... Yes, Science of the scary guy. Yes, nowadays it would probably be Science of the Zoloft Pills. Yeah. Science of the, yes, Science of the Lamb. And they really get into what happened.

To what? To the lamb? Serial killing. Uh, that makes more sense. The Road Trip Kings. The Road trip kings. The road trip master. I wonder how this is going to sound. I guess we'll find out later.

Which battery does the laptop have? Probably have to end her soon. How long have we been doing this shit? An hour and twenty? Jesus Christ. Scary, scary fish. I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one.

I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one. I'm going to go get a new one. How long we been doing this shit? An hour and twenty? Jesus Christ.

Scary scary fish. Scary scary bug. Scary scary monster. Scary monster. I'm a little lizard and I live at the zoo. I live with a gorilla and a lion too. I live with a fish and he lives in a tank. I get all of my money from the animal bank. I cash a check at the animal store. I get a bug and we go to the store.

I'm a little lizard and I love my life. I have a fish who is... Lizard man. Lizard lizard man. Lizard man! Lizard, lizard man! Lizard man! Lizard, lizard man! Lizard man! Lizard, lizard man! Lizard man!

Lizard, lizard man! Mr. Bug wants to be tomato But he can't sew, he has to be an a-hole 25 ants crawling up into the faucet And you know they've got beautiful hair like Ferrah Fawcett Awesome, I turn into a fossil, amazing I don't know Mr. Lizard Man, he keeps on blazing Amazing, tweet, and he's falling off the pedestal

Who knows where he trickles in forevermore Mr. Mr. Lizard Man Mr. Mr. Lizard Man Mr. Mr. Lizard Man. Mr. Mr. Lizard Man. Mr. Mr. Lizard Man. Listen to the lizard man. Lizard man. Lizard man, the lizard's coming. He's coming to get you.

He's coming inside of you. He's scared of you. He's scared of you. He's scared. Ayyyyy. Hey, I am at the zoo. The zookeeper still needs to bring me my food. Bye lizard man. Goodbye lizard man. Thank you for hanging out. Joe Kent is running for prime to ban abortion for everyone... Terrible! Fuck you Joe!

I like him. Stupid ass bitch! More like you, Joe. I like it. Stupid ass bitch. More like Joe, Joe bent. I don't know. More like broke because he spent all his money on the ad. Grope the groper. My battery's about to die. And I don't have a charger in here that fits.

It's on like, it's like red. You can really stop it. Yeah, I'm just making sure I don't bend it or anything. OK. Pretty dirty. Yeah, I'm just making sure I don't like bend it or anything. Okay. Pretty dirty. You just stop the recording. I'm trying to see where it is. Oh, go to down to the, yeah, go to Audacity.