Pendejo Time - rooster henley and chicken chicker

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

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Do you not want to be famous? I think about it all the time. Do you not want to be... Listen, okay? We're meddling, alright? But the world is our oyster. You know what I mean? So all we have to do is post 5,000 clips a month

of really just kind of absolute gibberish, right? And then one of them will get noticed by i don't know joe rogan or something and then he puts it on his show next thing you know you and me are hanging out with rfk jr jordan peterson burke kreischer you know you got to kiss the ring you got to make stuff that's funny to them and then they give you an opportunity to start making a bunch of money and to start doing tours in taiwan you can get a cool haircut like andrew schultz he can get you on trt like he did bert come on man yeah but it's all there for rogan's on instagram right now he's like i

gotta find the new funniest guys they're probably on instagram and they're probably so tapped into the algorithm I want Joe Rogan hanging out with a bunch of 60 year old alcoholics he's like honestly I'm just looking for who has the best captions I'm looking for who has the best captions the best editing and everything

and who is tapped into the algorithm yeah to answer your question and everything and who is tapped into the algorithm. Yeah, to answer your question, I would like to be famous because I would like to not do as many of my own chores. Yeah, yeah. But that's the only real thing I... I don't really care.

I think I just don't... I think I want to not... I don't want to do as much. Would you get a maid if the show took off and you made a fuck ton of money like would you pay for like a cleaning lady i don't know well what okay what what is the implication though you don't want to do your own chores because that's what i would assume it means that you want to hire a lady to do which is fine i'm not i'm not dogging on you you know what i mean like there's nothing wrong with that um you have a lady come

clean your house pair you know maybe like 50 bucks a week no just just a fair sort of i think i would get ubers a lot yeah yeah yeah i would get food delivered more and i would i'd probably eat more. Eat at restaurants more. Yeah, drink more. And I would probably eat big steaks. And I would probably... I feel like... I wouldn't go visit my family because I'd have other people that would have to do that. For sure, yeah.

That's a given. That's not... Yeah. I would hire people to go visit my family. And the guy that looks kind of like you. That would be my avatar. Yeah. Yeah. Thomas.

Like one of the like, you know, guys that looks like Jack Sparrow at Disney that like jumps around and pretends to be drunk. You just send a guy that kind of looks like you

to your parents' place for Christmas. Hey, hey. Hey, Dad. Hello, Father. It's me. Thomas, your son your whole family actually comes together like all the siblings you know they put bygones be bygones everything's just water under the bridge and then the one time that happens

that you just send the thomas look alike yeah he's dressed like Spike Lee for some reason. Like big orange square glasses. Yeah. He's like a New York Knicks sweater for some reason. He just pulls out a script and he's like, hey, family. Let's see here. I really missed you. I think what I would do with my fame is I would develop a really bad substance abuse issue.

And then whenever I dialed it back a little bit to save my career and life, I would then write a bestselling book about it. About how I just became an awesome person by not getting fucked up as often. I would be like Oprah for painkillers or something. Okay. You know what I mean? And then, yeah. And then I would also do the Oprah thing where I would get back. I would start doing, you know, I would start doing drugs again and drinking heavily just

to get back off it, just to sell the program again. The sequel to the book. I would have become the first old white guy to get really addicted to lean. I'm just hooked on the last bottle of Activist in the world. Yeah. You're just taking like thimbles of it. Yeah.

Little baby sips. I can't imagine that not having any job because I still have a job would be good for me. I mean I guess I could. Yeah. What about a blow job.

Come on dude. That would be awesome wouldn't it. Yeah. You like the sound of that. That's what you do with all the money from the show, dude? You guys really took off. I just get blowjobs.

I got a blowjob. I get blowjobs all day, and they're awesome. Oh, you didn't like, you didn't buy, like a car, did you buy your mom a house? Nah, I just got blowjobs it's a Jake blowjob foundation where people from underprivileged backgrounds can some come suck on my nuts a kid who would never get the

chance to even have sex with a famous man you know maybe he lives in fucking god damn Nairobi or something he can come he can get on a plane and he can come have sex with podcasters. It's like make a wish, but you don't get to make it. We do. You get to fulfill my wish, yeah.

Being, you know, like an evil guy. Yeah. Evil sort of. Yeah, I don't know, man. I think all of my dreams of having a bunch of money are really like, I guess because I don't have a bunch of money, that they're all kind of stupid. Like, I want to buy like an old, shitty, like third-gen Camaro. Yeah, that's a poor guy dream.

Yeah. No, it is. I want to get a Fox Body Mustang, but not restored. Like, I kind of want it to look shitty. I kind of want it to look shitty. I want to go see a UFC fight in person, but I don't want to sit on the floor next to, like, fucking Donald Trump and, like, whoever the fuck. It'd be cool to be up in the nosebleeds with the other retards up there kind of, like, smoking glass and fucking pulling my nuts out.

Yeah, I went to one. I was looking at my phone the whole time. You guys got pretty decent seats, though. No, well, we... It was not super full, so we snuck up closer. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's right. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I don't know.

I have this conversation a lot, and I feel like when my buddies and I used to, like, what would you do if you won a lottery? I never really could think big you know what i mean like i could never really like build a world like a cool world it was just like stuff that i would buy if i made like 20 000 more dollars a year or whatever yeah what would you buy if you made 20 000 a year if i made twenty thousand dollars a year i'll probably get like a maybe a lamborghini i used to make twenty thousand dollars a year not that long ago i think literally like the when we started doing the show i think i cleared like 22

um and i used to just buy 40s i used to just buy 40s. I used to just buy 40s and cigarettes. That was about it. I would probably get a Rolex. A Rolex? Because it appreciates in value. Because it's called a smart... I spend my entire yellery salary on a watch. I would get a Domino's Rolex.

On the old Air King. Yeah. You get a water bed. I don't even know if those are expensive, but to me they just scream, guy that didn't have money suddenly has money. Like a jet ski. I don't think that's expensive.

I think that's one of the cheapest types of beds you can own right well they're in the in the early 2000s it was like a fancy thing or it was like a thing that poor people think rich people buy if that makes sense you know how the fucking salt bay steakhouse isn't for actually rich people it's for like kind of gaudy you know where people go bankrupt themselves and they instagram it and stuff i think a waterbed was that pre-Instagram. It's like, this is what rich people sleep on, rubber and water. My uncle had one. He used some of his settlement money to get him and his big-ass wife one.

And I think when she slept on it, it, like, fucked her back up. Because I guess it's not for big-ass motherfuckers. You know what I mean? It doesn't provide the necessary support if you weigh 400 pounds and you're 4'11". Which is a solid-ass build, though. Apparently in the 80s, one in five people slept on a waterbed.

Oh, okay. Maybe I'm just white trash, because I thought it was fancy as fuck when my uncle got one. And apparently they can get mold and stuff. Awesome. Yeah, I mean, it's nasty. That and they can leak and destroy your house.

Waterbed cost, bro, $300? Not that bad. No, not bad at all. Yeah, I mean, there was something perverted about it, too. You know what I mean? Yeah, like it was full of sperms. Yeah. And they were trying to crawl and get into your butt while you were asleep yeah you always felt like that and then when you

whenever you slept face down it was like you were sleeping with a mouthful of sperms but they were behind a barrier like they were trying like mosquitoes trying to fly through the screen door you know yeah they're always birds trying to burst at the seams again do you a little yeah all the sperm's trying to burst out of the murtress you know the yeah fuck yeah dude i uh i don't know imagine dude that's such a vintage thing that can happen like your wife cheats on you, but like on a water bed. Yeah, yeah. And then they like both get out. You walk in.

Like, what the hell? You know, they both get out of the bed and the bed's all jiggling still. Mm-hmm. What the fuck? Very much like a 1999 security. Tell that bed to stop it right now. Tell that bed. We weren't fucking.

The bed was just moving, honey. We were both trying to stop the bed from shaking so we got on top of it So I had to so he had to put his penis inside of me and go inside and out for 37 minutes Much longer than you're capable of you know what I mean Yeah Did you like when I said that how I phrased it the tone of my voice Yeah you said like you were my like my bitch wife in this scenario Yeah yeah and I'm explaining to you why your penis doesn't do it for me anymore.

Like I'm William H. Macy in Boogie Nights or whatever. I'm trying to let you know in the nicest way possible that your penis sucks, and I hate you. Yeah, you definitely could have told me that before you had sex with this guy. I will say that. Well, right, but it's less dramatic. I like the corazon. I like the passion. That's why I'm a cheating whore.

I could have told you, and we could have ended this amicably, but I needed you to feel something. I needed attention from you, so I cheated on you. Because now you care, right? Now I'm pissed. This is so mean. Now you're pissed. And I haven't felt this kind of emotion from you, dude. I can't believe you do this to me.

It pisses me off. In like 10 years, not since the kids. You haven't looked at me with this much intensity in fucking 12 years and here we are and you just look so fucking stupid i understand i'm surprised you didn't break the bed whenever he banged you because you're so fucking big and fat like a cow i i know i know and maybe that's partially the reason why you don't love me anymore that's definitely part of it now because you stink like a butt. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'm big and fat and we have a waterbed. We have a rubber waterbed

with nasty. I filled it with pee. So, but like I was saying, I got the gardener next door to have sex with me to make you jealous. He's five foot two

and he's Dominican and his dicks is four inches long, but it's the width of a Pringles can. Yeah, it looks good. Yeah, she looks awesome. And now I'm sucking on her.

He has very skinny legs and very skinny arms with a massive belly. I'm sucking his penis now. You know what? Just a wife like, baby, I'm sorry. And instead of immediately getting mad, you just go over there and start sucking. But I don't know how Yeah, you've never done it before Sir, is this nice?

Hey, you're Dominican, right? You like getting your penis sucked by guys? It's that and the tiny jeans, right? Tiny jeans? No, I don't lie I don't know But okay, I dial my is fine there's no problem uh yeah i don't know what i'd do if my wife if i walked into my dominican short fat guy with a

beer belly uh and a huge chode fucking my wife i'd probably just kill myself it wouldn't take much you know what i mean i guess at that point well i would do the responsible thing you know i would kill the guy and my wife and then turn the gun on myself. But before I turn the gun on myself, I would turn it on my children. Oh, okay. I would annihilate my family. Yeah, no, of course. I try to pick the worst answer possible.

I guess there are worse things you could do. You know, like if you said a slur or something yeah yeah um or if you if you gas lit her yeah but i would say family annihilation is up there gas how would you gas light your wife when you catch her fucking another man like how does that work no she says you see what i she she says i'm she says, you see what I, she says, I'm so sorry. And you say,

what are you talking about? We have an open marriage. I've been cheating on you for 10 years. No, no. This isn't the first time I've caught you cheating on me. Happens all the time. You're crazy.

I don't think you remember. We didn't get married. I'm gay. I'm trying to have sex with a Dominican guy. No, I'm gay. I'm literally didn't get married. I'm gay. I'm trying to have sex with the Dominican guy. No, I'm gay. I'm literally, I'm crying. I'm gay. I don't fucking care.

I don't care. I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm a homosexual. You think that's cool? I gave you AIDS. Yeah, I gave you AIDS. I got from a dog.

I have sex with animals. You're trying to one-up your wife when she cheats on you. You think you can hurt me? I'm a pedophile. I hate you because you're a grown-up. That's why I stopped being attracted to you, not the weight gain after the kids. I've always thought you were ugly because I am an ephebophile.

I like teenagers That's kind of the thing that I'm into But it's okay I don't like you because you're the only woman I've dated who wasn't black And she says that's not That's not true What?

I hate your white ass get out of here bitch You and your trifling ass I hate my white whore wife I hate my white wife so much dude Oh god Yeah Oh man I hate my white wife Oh Yeah. Oh, man, I hate my white wife. Oh.

Just kidding. No, it's a joke. We just mess around. We would never kill our white wives. No, my wife isn't even white. And there's nothing wrong with that nowadays. I asked Ashley because when she was doing her college thing, she was like, she was white.

And I was like, no, you got to put the, you got to milk that shit. You're half Mexican. So you got to put it on there so they give you more money. She was like, well, my dad's white. And I was like, yeah, don't do that. Say that you're Mexican. if there was a fucking thing I could check to get more money

from school what are you looking at on your fucking phone dude pictures of butts men's asses yeah I was looking at pictures of a guy's guy's ass

if there's something you could do to get more money from other guys you said it would be that you would claim that you were black? Yeah, Thomas, that's exactly what I was fucking saying.

You said that whenever you go out on the street and you ask for money, they tell you no? for money, they tell you no? Yeah, well, because when I go out and pretend to be homeless so I can make more money, I tell people that I'm black so they'll feel bad for me. You put homeless black veteran. Yeah, homeless black veteran. Homeless gay black veteran. Yeah, H-G-B-V, homeless gay black veteran.

HGBV, Homeless Gay Black Veteran. I went to the HGBVA, the Homeless Gay Black Veteran Affairs Office, and all they would give me was roller skates. So I'm out here trying to get it how I live live you know um i got my very well-designed sign here but yeah no i think it's okay um i put that i was i remember when i was 18 i put that i was jesuit on my college um on my fafsa or whatever and i didn't even know what that was i think it's like a type of it's like a religion thing.

Yeah, and I got a bunch of offers from Jesuit schools. I went to a Jesuit school. That's fucking stupid. What did they make you learn about Jesu... Jes? Jes? Jesuit?

They make you learn about guys jesing? Jesuit? Jesuit? Should I wear a Jes shirt or je suit? Should I wear... Yeah. Like a fucking boss. Second name, mister.

The French... French down syndrome, like a fucking pickup artist guy, YouTube. Should I wear a je shirt or a suit tonight for my date? Je m'appelle Stinky. That's not... Stinky isn't a name. It is a French name.

Stinky St. Clair. Stinky St. Clair. And he's a stinky Down syndrome guy from fucking Montmartre. That's not good. The other day I drove past... You said the VFW reminded me. I drove past... There's a VFw by my apartment and they have like events for old guys who have ptsd or whatever and uh they had a sign i'm guessing somebody made it for them that didn't maybe one

of the old guys or i don't know maybe a cheap graphic design job but um there was two events and once you got up really close to the sign you could see they were separate but the first one said uh baton death march you know what that is uh the fucking goddamn shit from vietnam or whatever the fuck uh where they like marched a bunch of shoulders soldiers shoulders and they all died or a bunch of them died. It was really sad. Oh, no, this is Japanese. I'm an idiot.

Fuck. It was in World War II, not Vietnam. I'm racist. Anyway, it said, Baton Death March, and then under it, it said reenactment. And I drove past, and I was like, oh, they're doing a reenactment of the baton death march that's not good i i so i actually had to go in the parking lot to make sure that

wasn't the case because i was like whoever signed off on this is very funny funnier than anybody i know you're just gonna reenact one of the fucking gnarliest things that ever happened in world war ii um and uh just do it i guess in san marcos texas pretty cool but as it turns out it wasn't a baton death march reenactment it was baton death march this day and then reenactment of something else under it but they didn't do enough spacing so i was like fuck you guys got my hopes up i wanted to come watch a bunch of old guys like i guess walk down the freeway until their legs gave out. That would be sad. Probably wouldn't take as long this time though.

Okay, dude. You know. Anyway. You ever thought about joining the military recently, Jake? No, not really. I can see that glint in your eye.

No, no, no, no. Forces are calling. No, I'm 30. Forces are calling. I don't think... It's only like 45 in military years. You're good. What, being 30?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's not... You literally never served your country. Think about that. I didn't want to. At this pace, you were never going to be a Navy SEAL, Jake. I didn't want to. You think I'm not going to join the military when I'm 30?

You should join now. I can't join now. My country needs me to do stand-up comedy right now that's how i'm serving my country i'm doing open mics at four in the morning my country needs me to um my country needs me landscaping right now and they're going to need me to be doing working at a restaurant and doing stand-up comedy soon. Like the draft comes and you're like, sorry, I'm already serving.

I work at Rockets in Brooklyn and then I also do open mics. Five days a week, so I'm pretty stacked. Schedule's pretty busy. I don't think I can go to war or go to boot camp or whatever the fuck. Is there a branch that does more stand-up comedy than the other branches? Maybe I could be in this,

or maybe video sketches. Yeah. I think that there is like a marketing division. That makes sense. But I don't know if you're in the, or if you're just, you work for the army doing marketing for them, or if you have to join the army and then you're like the marketing soldier or something. I don't know.

I'm fucking stupid. You probably have to join the army and you. You become like the marketing guy. Yeah. Because they kind of pick where you go. I applied to be the CIA's marketing guy one time as a joke. I applied to, I started applying to be a secret agent the other day that's serious i've done that before the application was like too long

yeah so i didn't get through it i also thought i think every keystroke that i put in for this application gets saved yeah for sure there's no doubt in my mind that, that, that that's the case, I did the same thing, I got really high, and I was like, clandestine officer job CIA, and they came up, and I was like, cool, I'm gonna apply, and then I got to the part where I was like, have you ever been arrested, I was like, no, you ever, you know, drugs or alcohol, I was like, no, I was drunk then, or whatever, but same as you, I got to the point where i was like no i was drunk then or whatever but same as you i got to the point where i was like hey this is really long b there's not a chance that everything i type in here isn't being like dialed in to some for some reason for some guy to read you know what i

mean but also you and me don't know any languages of any enemy. That's not true. I mean, we know English, but it's not really like... No, I speak Minyanese. Banana. Minyanese. The language of the little yellow fuckers that hang out with Gru all day? Yeah. Okay. I don't think we're...

Hockey pop ball. What does that mean? Hockey puck. Okay. Okay, gotcha. And what is... Is banana just banana? Banana, yeah.

Banana is banana. Is it linguistic borrowing in that way? Okay, gotcha. Yeah, it's a mix of Hawaiian and English and Spanish and Japanese. Banana. Banana. What other words in Minyanese do you know? Bono.

What's that one? He's a singer for YouTube. Oh. Okay. All right. So I'm noticing something in Minyanese. And again, I'm learning this just now, so I'm a bit of a novice. So feel free to correct me.

You're the expert. Minionese, a lot of the words are just English words said stupidly, and they mean the same thing. Is that correct? No, I don't think there's anything stupid about the way they're pronounced. Okay. Because I wouldn't call any language stupid. Because a lot of people grew up,

a lot of people's dying words were in Minionese when you think about it. Sure, yeah, those guys. Somebody's best memories are in Minionese. Like Kevin, maybe. He's one of the Minions. Okay. So they have human names.

Well, I think Gru named a lot of them. Okay. He's a human. didn't i never saw despicable me oh well i don't know buddy you're pretty fucking behind i guess but yeah it's a pretty rich world among the minions and it's nothing like skippity toilet or phantom tax or anything like that or the Rizzler. Okay. You can build long-term relationships and friendships with these minions that will last you a lifetime. Okay.

I actually went on a date with a minion in high school, and it was interesting. What are their ages? Do they age? I mean, I know they die, but...'re they're all born at 18 years old. OK. And they die at 18 years old. They die when they turn 19. OK, so they get a year and then you know, they're 18 for several years. OK. And then they die.

OK, gotcha. Yeah, they're like, you know, they're kind of like wolfhounds or something you know okay so so you went on a date with i went on a date with uh um with a minion yeah when i was i was 16 and she was i guess 18 okay and um yeah her name was uh, her name was Sandra. Okay, Sandra the Minion. Okay. Sandra. Okay, okay.

You wouldn't call Kevin the Minion, you know. Sure, but I'm wearing it, you know what I mean? Did she do any tricks on it? Was she trick fucking? Jesus. Jake, you know this woman is dead? I don't care. You're talking about a dead woman?

Like she was a piece of sexual boob meat? You know? Yeah. It was a pleasant date, but, you know, it's funny. We were so caught up in the conversation, we didn't even hold hands. We didn't even kiss. We just really enjoyed each it's funny. We were so caught up in the conversation, we didn't even hold hands. We didn't even kiss. We just really enjoyed each other's companies. But we talked about everything from Baga Mama.

What's Baga Mama? Bag Mom. It's a Minion meme. It was big on iFunny at the time. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So you haven't been on Minionese iFunny and it kind of shows.

No offense. No, I mean, I'm ignorant. You know what I mean? Yeah, you spend all your time on Skibbity Toilet Instagram. Yeah, I know what that is for sure. But hang on there. So Baga Mamaama you know uh but yeah basically so sandra i i picked her up in this cherry red corvette it was a 58 and she um she's wearing a red dress with polka dots okay and uh and i say straw bug uh

straw mama and that's strawberry i mean a joke okay no why would it be strawberry mama i would use bogger mom okay fine fine i won't i won't cut you off anymore. Yeah, and she went, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And that's many knees for laughing. Okay. And then on the way home, I got really fucked up. I drank a bunch of Fireball at the park,

and I flipped the car a bunch of times, and it crunched all over her, and her arms got smashed into her big one eyeball. And I ripped her arm out of her eyeball and all the fluid from her eyeball just spilled on her tense body. It was crazy. I didn't know.

It's kind of interesting. With Minions, the rigor mortis kicks in pretty much instantly. Okay. And so she got a huge mini-knees lady boner that poked through her overalls, and I had to look away out of respect. Right, right, right. But I was way too drunk to be driving,

so I just put her dead body in the driver's seat, as it was a stolen car anyway, and I left. Nice. I called an Uber. I called an Uber. That's an Uber for if you're hanging out with minions. Okay, got you, okay. That's awesome, man.

Not really too crazy. You got to do what you have to do. Yeah, and I took a bunch of m-bucks out of her wallet before I left. It stands for Minion Bucks. So you went on a date with a transgender minion wearing... She wasn't transgender. ...Pocal dotted overall. But if she was, you know, if she was, that would be fine. And then she died because you were drinking and driving,

and then you left the scene in a blue room. She died because her arm was in her eye. I was just drinking and driving. That just happened to be. Oh, okay. And I was looking at my phone, too. Right, right, yeah. Sure.

And I was trying to sing the lyrics to Bunaway. It's a Minion version of Runaway by Kanye. Okay. Or Monyay, as they call him. Got it. Okay. Or Monye, as they call him. Got it. Okay. Okay.

Well, I was just trying to get... Runaway. Runaway, guamigambo. Bumaway. Guanabu-bu-gu. Ganabam-bam-na-bam-na-na. Gabba-du-ba-ga-bu-ba. Gish-ga-wam-gu-ga. So my question, I guess my next question is, does Gru know when one of them dies? Does he have some sort of telepathic connection?

Yeah, it's cool. He actually knows before they die. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's kind of interesting okay so before before i went on the date he called me and he said she's gonna die tonight there's nothing you can do about it i said thanks crew thanks for the heads up so whenever she died i said i don't give a fuck and i just left is that what made you drink that night or were you just drinking no it's funny i was drunk when he called me. Oh, okay. And I was driving. Okay.

To her house. I was going about 150 minions per hour. Awesome. Well, I mean, I guess it's nice. Was that your first, like, your first kind of, like, experience with one of those things or?

Yeah, I was actually pretty racist against minions before that. I would call them um yeah i was gonna wonder if you were gonna do it different stuff you know yeah yeah yeah um but and that's that's all in the past that's all water under the uh mirage the minion bridge okay okay and so you never was that your only date with one or did you find that that did you find they were yeah i actually hung out with guru a few times that was interesting okay that's another story yeah what are your experiences with minions been like? Well, to be honest, I always had sort of like a passive academic interest in them. I like languages. You know what I mean?

But I've always had like a moral issue with, I guess, their positions as kind of less than autonomous slaves. I didn't like that they were, you know, they didn't seem to have any kind of mind of their own. Or they had a mind of their own, but they were kind of under the thumb of this, you know, weirdly shaped, large-nosed, wealthy man who was hell-bent on, like, world domination. And is that an anti-Semitic comment? No, no, it doesn't need to be.

I mean, if you want to make it that, that's fine. Well, I just try and look out for that kind of stuff. When I talk, not everybody does. Right, right. It wasn't my intention. But if that's the first thing that came to your mind, that probably makes you a bad person and not me. No, I think it would make me a good person and you a bad one,

but that's okay if that's how it is. No, I think your problem is that you are kind of at your core. I'm looking out for the safety of endangered minorities, yes. And who is an endangered minority?

The minions. Okay. They're M-dangered and the M stands for Minion. Yeah, fuck Gru. M-gamba. That's what they say. Endangered.

M-gamba. M-gamba banana. And that means endangered Minion. Very cool man I'm learning so much from you Banana can also mean minion Cause they're both yellow Right Yeah

It's sort of like Like way You know Way can mean like Like Hey man Chingada way Yeah ole

Yeah Hey what's up What's up minion what's up? What's up, minion? What's up, my minion? So can you hear me? I don't like that. No, thank you. Come on, dude.

No, thank you. No. Come on, dude. This is our show. It's our show. It's also the people's show. It's everybody's show. The people's Communist Party of Pandejo time.

You know. What would your job be under communism, Thomas? Under communism, I would work at a gas station or maybe a video store and I'd sell pornos to old people. Okay, only old people. I'd find old nasty ones. And I'd say, in this one

something horrible happens. You have to watch it. I'd work at the video store but I'd say, in this one, something horrible happens. You have to watch it. I'd work at the video store, but I'd go door to door like a Jehovah's Witness, and I'd hand out pornos to old people. I'd go, ugh, this is so fucking bad, you gotta watch it. In this one, something horrible happens. This is the only porno you can ever watch where a guy dies.

happens. This is the only porno you can ever watch where a guy dies. This is like Videodrome but nothing bad happens at the end. This was my favorite. Something really bad

happens. This is like Videodrome if it was all old fat guys in the movies. And they're fucking each other until they die. That's a good job

for a communist to have. I mean, yeah. What about you? Or actually, I would work at a head shop. Okay. I would sell Rick and Morty bongs to 17-year-olds.

Yeah. No, that's... I mean, so not much fundamentally would change, I guess, material conditions and jobs and things. I would also be an informant for a fascist group that was looking to destroy the whole network.

So thank you guys for coming to the Capital Reading Group. I just want to do a little icebreaker. It's fun. You know, after we win, right? Like after we kind of wage protracted people's war against the United States of America, what would your job be? You know, what kind of, what would your skills lead you to do

in the communist state of America? Thomas, you said that you would sell pornography to old people, and that you would sell Rick and Morty bongs to children, and then you said you'd be an informant for a fascist cell. Yeah, if they gave me like 500 bucks, probably. And then I'd use that to buy Rick and Morty bongs from the store at a discount, because I could get like three of them.

Because I'm about my money. And then I could sell them on the side to the kid without tax. That's nice. That shows that even under once communism wins, you have an entrepreneurial spirit and you're evil. Not much has changed about you. And I would also make pressed pills. I would make the first ibuprofen that had Xanax and fentanyl in it.

I'm selling pressed, over-the-counter ibuprofen. Ibuprofen, 800, 700% alcohol and also horse tranquilizer. Yeah, I give it to old guys. When I give them their porno i say it's just gonna make you really hard when the really bad thing happens in the video i made uh i make a i have a new smoothie stand that uh where i make smoothies out of my pontiac aztec and they all got a honey pack in them like the coolant or just like the fluid or just whatever comes out of the Aztec? No, they... No, you know those...

The honey packs? Oh, you make them in the Aztec. I make them in the Aztec. I sell them out of the Aztec. And they all got a honey pack in them. So it's got Cialis and Viagra in the honey pack. And alcohol and fentanyl. It makes you horny as fuck.

You eat the smoothie and then you probably start fucking on me or something crazy like that. It's the smoothies that make you want to fuck after you have a hard workout or something. In the shower, heart beating fast as hell. I'm not sure under, you know, our kind of ascribed or our definition of Maoism, Third Worldism, that drugs would be allowed. So I just want to make sure that you understand that in the world we want to build, that doesn't seem like a suitable job for a good communist. Did you understand? Yeah, but do y'all have prisons still? Yes.

Gulags. Political prisons for fascists and people who are religious. I thought this was more of an anarchist type situation where like there was not as much enforcement. I'll probably be a crooked prison guard then. Okay. Smuggling drugs to the prison. Okay. So you're still.

And I'd also smuggle in those dragon dildos where they lay the suppositories and people's bodies okay see those yeah yeah of course that where i would uh i would be a pilates instructor okay see now we're getting somewhere see that is we want i would charge i would steal the credit card information from the women that came. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I really liked where you're going with Pilates because we want our comrades to be strong. I'd use it to buy mech suits so I could play in my backyard. It's like a drug dealer from your high school going to his first fucking PSL meeting.

It's like a drug dealer from your high school going to his first fucking PSL meeting. Yeah, I probably would be like a cop, but I would sell drugs to the kids, and I would hurt women, too. I would probably have a Twitch stream where I call it pedophiles. Okay, that's actually great. Wow, that would be... But I would frame them all so i made more money no we don't want to accuse innocent our comrades of pedophilia thomas it's not how not an accusation if you say the pedophile hunter and then you hunt them that's doing something entirely different that's just destroying a life y'all y'all are communists y'all know about fucking

having to go undercover yeah so like if i mean if you guys some of you guys want to be like counterintelligence or whatever and like hang out with fascists to see how they like work out and stuff i think i should be able to hunt people that aren't pedophiles but say they are so i can get hell of money on youtube i'm gonna go undercover as a pedophile people are like what not like because if you i gotta get to the top of the ring you know and yeah you're gonna have to do what i have to do and they're like i don't that's i don't think anybody was working on that i don't think anybody needs you to do that it's okay i already started a couple years ago so thomas d what do, this is the Party for Socialism and Liberation. Do you think PSL stands for Pedophile Seminar Licensing?

Well, I thought seminar was definitely with a C, so that's why the language of it, but yes. Okay. But I guess that would explain why maybe your worldview is not aligned with ours and pretty much every aspect of this discussion thus far but that's what we want to do we want to reach out to people who are not communists we don't we don't want to you know get people on our side who already are on our side you know that's not how you grow movement that's actually how you stagnate it's a problem that other parties have had throughout history

is that they only reach out to you know older academics and you know union bosses those people are buying in your word we're trying to reach out to you so if you have any insight as to how we could better communicate to you know pedophiles and drug addicts and people who harm children and women that would be great you know it would really help us grow the movement yeah uh i i can't really think of anything but i've made a new business for the communists and it's going to be a type of chocolate croissant that is made with a special type of sugar they can only be harvested through child labor. And the

chocolate, too, will have to be harvested by those chimpanzees that they have chained up and stuff and they climb trees. It's really evil. Like in Indonesia where they shoot monkeys with bows and arrows if they don't pick enough coconuts in a day or something.

Wow, it really sounds like you're fundamentally kind of not want to be a part of this, which is understandable. It's a hard pill for some people to swallow. A lot of Red Scare. That's why the PSO pills swallow. Thank you for coming, man. I really appreciate it. You know, it's no harm, no foul. It's all love, man.

Thanks for coming to fucking Arkansas PSL chapter. You're welcome. I had a buddy try to get me to come to one of those meetings the other day. The other day? Not the other one of those meetings the other day the other day not the other year no the other day not psl there's still like a there's still a thing good for them tried to get me to are you okay today man you seem a little blue you seem a little down i'm i'm not actually blue i've just been working a lot and tired and sleepy we could yep we can just we can just cancel this episode and just do it tomorrow you know I'm not actually blue. I've just been working a lot. Are you tired and sleepy? We could have. Yep.

We can just cancel this episode and just do it tomorrow, you know. It's all right, buddy. A little deep in the... I think the hens have already come to roost, brother. As far as I see it. And my name is Rooster Henley. And I've got the best chickens in this town. Okay. And if you call 1-800-CHICKEN-ROOSTER-AND-HEN-AND-CHICKS,

I'll get you a piece of chicken so big, it'll slap your mom across the face. At chickenhenleys.com, we got the biggest piece of chicken you'll ever buy, guaranteed. It's $100 a pound. Each piece of chicken's 100 pounds. Get our new $10,000 piece of of chicken up right all up in your face big old seasonings and everything we got paprika smoked paprika we got sauce we got uh we got peppers we got all cilantro's different types of

things in our special new chicken Henley barbecue sauce only available at internetchickenhenley.com you call 1-800-CHICKEN-HENLEYLEYS. Got a great big hen for me. And we'll have it delivered at your door in under 30 seconds. Each package, $100, gets you 10 full-grown roosters, 100 chicks, and 50 live chickens at your door. And they're ready to work. They can take the trash out if you want. So if you don't want to get a big fucking piece of chicken and you don't like that shit and you fucking want me to die, you're going to call right up there at 1-800-CHICKEN-HANDLING-GOTS-TO-DIE.

And you tell me to fucking slit my own throat. And I'll fucking do it. And ain't nobody going to stop me. I've been living out on the highway so long trying to sell these big ass fucking pieces of chicken. They're going bad. Everybody fucking hates my chicken. And if you don't like it,

shut up. Call right now. Chicken Henley the Millionaire. One million pieces of chicken sold every day. Thank you, Rooster Henley, for coming to the Dallas City Council meeting. The topic on the docket was zoning, but I will make sure to— Boning. Bone in, bone out. Bone your damn mama.

Call her. Hell yeah, I'm in her mouth. Get the Chicken Rooster Henley special right now. $10.99 gets you 100,000 pieces of chicken delivered to your cousin's house. You don't got to talk to him. You just got to steal it from his house. How's that sound, mister? It's not. I mean, I would love to speak to you after the meeting.

I actually would love a lot of trying to homestead you know in the beautiful dallas farmland that exists it kind of just rolls along the hills of texas plains but it's it's not what we're talking about today but but rooster henley i love that you come every week it shows that you're dedicated to your cause which seems to be selling chickens at an incredible bargain that know how to do chores um so and they're tasty yeah i've sold more chickens than any other seven foot tall uh guy in this town and i'll prove it here's my chart look at it you like what you see that is a picture oh my god that that is a picture of a woman cut in half by a skid steer that's not a i brought the i brought my murder phone on accident gosh i accidentally really brought my murder phone what What a... I have really stepped in it.

This is a phone I... I apologize, y'all. I'm Rooster Henley. This is a phone I use to take pictures of people I kill. Now, here is my other phone. Look at this chart. Tell me what you see and what you like. Oh, God.

I'm sorry. Please... can we get the people out Brewster that is a as a picture of a child's penis oh my god well if I didn't bring it my mother phoning my child pornography phone to the same damn meeting. Oh, my God. Y'all are probably so, y'all probably think I'm some type of weirdo. And I am. And I'll tell you what's not weird. Selling big-ass chickens. Adult chickens that I love.

I like it when chickens are grown up. I don't like eating chicks because they are loud. And 100% zero child porn guaranteed and murder guaranteed in every one of my chickens. None of my chickens have watched

any sort of underage pornography nor have they seen me murder anyone. Which I do like uh but yeah you come on down to chickenroosterhandley.com forward slash adult pornography and every new every every chicken you order comes with a video of a an adult lady getting banged by an adult man the way God intended. And by the way, I'm also, we're like homophobic adjacent it seems like. You know, for me to throw something in there like that.

And guess what? That's the worst part of all of them. That's what's going to bring me down. And if you don't like fresh, good chickens chickens that do chores you can get the hell out of my murder and child pornography ring yeah that's uh yeah rooster we weren't uh the city council here wasn't too concerned with uh the gratuitous uh amount of child pornography on your second phone or the images of uh horribly disassembled women on your second phone or the images of horribly disassembled women on your first phone, really we thought your homophobia was kind of the thing that made

us not want to do business with you. Yeah, it was an internalized homophobia, and that's scary to see. I'm honestly personally glad that you were able to check yourself immediately on that. You know what I mean? You weren't able to stop yourself from producing and disseminating child pornography, or you weren't able to stop yourself from murdering women with farm equipment. Hell, who could? Right. I got all of it lying around, and I got all these damn women coming to eat my chickens.

I understand, but I'm glad that you were able to notice that what you said— And I like to kill them. God, I love it. I understand. I love hurting people. Sometimes I think I was born for it, mister. What's your name? Roger Richards?

Yeah, Roger Richards, Mayor of Dallas. Roger Richards Richards. Oh, my God. The fifth. I remember the first day I killed somebody in your family. And I remember it like it was yesterday. Your Aunt Tamitha was headed down to the chicken kindergarten. Yeah, Tamitha Shaditha.

Yeah, she's married in. She's an aunt by marriage. Yeah, she's still alive, but I remember in a few weeks when she passes away, God, I can't believe it's such a tragedy. You can perceive time in such a way, Rooster Henley, where it sort of flows backward and forward? Yeah, and I know time forward or backward,

and I know a damn good deal when I see one too, including chicken thighs, 2% off. 2% off chicken thighs this weekend. Normally $5 a pound. Now, 98% of $5. Okay. You do the math. I think that's...

That would be 10 cents off. Mm-hmm. 10 cents... $4.90 a pound. That's not... Down from $5. I feel like the deals from earlier Rooster Henley

were much better. Fuck you. Fuck my life. I understand. I'm Rooster Chicken Henley Chicken Mister. And if you can't fucking get behind these deals, you can go somewhere else.

How about you go get your chickens from Chicken Chicker? I understand that the deal's probably you're looking to liquidate now before both a judge and several police officers you have shown us your collection of... Only liquidation there is

is this juicy chicken you're going to be biting into. Well, I think... But yeah, I will be... Now, don't get me wrong. I can see the future. I will be trialed and tribulated in a court of law

for how damn good my chicken tastes and how cheap it is. Well, I want you to understand that Chicken Chicker's a good man. As from what I understand, he hasn't done any of the evil, depraved and psychotic... No, and that's why his chicken ain't good.

Oh, you're saying that your evil spirit gives the chicken its flavor alongside your herbs and spices. I'm just talking shit. He has good chickens. He's a good guy. And he kills women, too, more than I do. And, hell, you think I got a lot of child pornography on my phone. He's got ten phones. Taped together.

He untapes them to send explicit messages to children, and then he tapes them back together after. It's horrible. You'd think he's had the same piece of tape on there 15 years. You'd think it would have. I'd say chicken. How the hell did that piece of tape hold on there so long? He said, I'm evil. I got an evil piece of... He said, I got an evil piece of tape, and

I'm a bastard. Unloved by man and God. That's me, chicken, chicken. He said, this piece of tape been on these ten phones since before I was born, son. Since before you were born, Richard Roger Richard. Yeah, how the hell,

why the hell do you think I got a two-gallon pocket? This evil piece of tape was here before the serpent, Richard Rodgers. Yeah, yeah, I got a cluster of blackberries here. Well, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, as chicken, chicken, you know, sorry, that's me in the back. Yeah, that's me. The things he is saying about me are true. The tape on my phone is older than the concept of evil, and I myself am profoundly evil and depraved and all the things, and sinister even.

But I got pretty good chicken. You're not sinister. Hey. I'm kidding. You're sinister. I was playing. We're friends. Me and Rooster Henley go way back We used to be in business together

Until he had sex with my whole family And burned them in oil I remember that even with your little son Yeah Chicken Chicken Junior Yeah he was a good boy until you ruined him forever He was going to be the namesake of the company until you ruined him forever and emotionally scarred him to where he could no longer even hold a job.

I should have never molested your damn son. I don't, but it's all water. I was so damn drunk off that chicken broth. It's all water under the bridge you ruined my whole family. It's okay. It's all chicken under the oven. It's all chicken in the chicken coop you know what i mean it's all nuggets it's all it's all hay in the coop it's all nuggets in a sandwich brother it's all good you know but yeah you make

some damn good chicken i raised some damn good chickens uh did you see the big gray chicken yeah yeah yeah i got it yeah i went and got me the big gray chicken um from uh the euphrates river they used to be endemic to the area um but a lot the river being polluted with you know filth and stuff kind of made him die off but i got the last big Last big gray chicken. And I have him. He's about 1,300 feet tall and about 22,000 pounds. Wow. And eyes as black as night. You're going to get some good meat off that chicken. I am. He does not like it when I try to kill him on account of me being small

and him being big and him being a creature I think may be imbued with great power. But anyway one day I will kill him and I will be able to serve gray chicken meat to all the people of Dallas. And you better sell my ass a gizzard. You know, you know Rooster Henley. Once I get the gizzard off the

evil dark gray chicken what I got from the Euphrates River, you gonna get the gizzard. Yeah, I'll pay it. $50. Yeah, I'll pay $50. You can have it for $700. That's a much worse deal. I'm hemorrhaging money with all the damn money I'm spending on these phone bills nowadays. I'll even afford to send inappropriate messages to minors.

T-Mobile charges you mean by the text. Yeah. That's why they call it T-Mobile charges you mean by the text. Yeah. That's why they call it T-Mobile for text mobile. Texting mobile children on my phone. No, it's T-Mobile for Alabama. Rooster Henley, Chicken Shaker, thank you guys for coming. You're both. Thank you.

This was awesome. I was glad to get all this off my chest. I've been living this life for so long. And now I know I can keep doing it for a lot longer thanks to this. Yeah, it seems like you guys aren't too interested in stopping either of us from being monsters or, you know, bad businessmen. So I would imagine that Chicken Chicker, me, and my horribly emotionally damaged son,

and Rooster Henley will keep doing the things we've been meant to do. The devil gave us powers that you cannot simply comprehend. Yeah. I got a boner. I'm hard as hell, City Council. I got a boner, and I think about chicken. Y'all better go to

Chickeninternet.com Chickeninternet.boner Better get that shit Fucking I got chickens With the biggest dicks In the world Yeah

They say that it's bad You sell a chicken dick A dollar a pound Chickeninternetdick.boner.gov If you're trying to get Some of your shit Subsidized by the state. You know,

they pay for Elon's rockets, they can buy you a couple pounds of chicken cock. Or my name ain't Chicken Chicker. The foist. It is.

And it turns out it fucking is. Turns out I'm an insane person. Yeah. You know, sometimes when I come to my house, my dog likes to shit in the hallway.

I've been trying to get Hank to stop eating his own poop, man. This motherfucker loves to eat shit. Maybe he had some sort of deficiency, but the vet said he's healthy. He's just a nasty son of a bitch. Probably helps him remember the past. The past? Yeah, the past few hours. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. He's cool, man. I like having a hound. I think I always wanted to have one. And I just thought it would be like the movies. You know what I mean? Just a trusty old hound dog. Turns out they're really stubborn, and they like to go awoo.

He fucking awoo's like a motherfucker, dude. All goddamn day. I wonder what he's saying to me. You speak Minion. Maybe you could come over and translate hound dog. Yeah, maybe. I could just speak Minionese to him. He'd probably understand.

I'd say, Baba, gama mashabo. Oh,. I'd say, And he would say, And then, yeah. Banana. Banana boat. Fucking God damn it. What do you got? What are your weekend plans big time?

When are you going to New York? When's the flight leave? I will be going in a couple of weeks. Do we need to record ahead of time? Maybe I'll check. Yeah, we should probably get a couple of weeks. Okay. Nothing crazy.

But yeah, I'll be there in a couple weeks, guys. Okay. So, that'll be crazy. Crazy like a cracker? Mm-hmm. People are saying that. That's sort of a New York thing. Oh, dude, you're crazy like a cracker.

Like a Bronx type deal, like cap and stuff. Nah, yeah, he's crazy. Nah, he's crazy like a Ritz cracker. He's got a lot of wacky spirit in him, like a Bronx type deal, like Cap and stuff. Nah, yeah, he's crazy. Nah, he's crazy like a Ritz cracker. He's got a lot of wacky spirit in him, like a fucking club. That boy is saltine. He clubbing cracker. I want to be a fucking club cracker.

I want to go to Berlin and dance in one of those basements where they play fucking... I want to hang out with a bunch of German guys. They look like they're having a time of their lives. None of those guys feel bad about anything. I think some of them probably feel bad about... Well, the new ones, you know, it's...

They have a Nazi party, like a new one. Yeah, they're running it back. Round two, or three, maybe. Yeah, round, yeah, the fourth Reich. They keep winning elections and shit. AFD, Alternative for Deutsch, whatever the fuck. More like always freaking doy. Hey, guys, fascism is stupid.

Stupid. It's crap. You love Hitler You're gay See Kyle Why don't you seize These nuts In your mouth Why don't you see

Your friend Kyle And he's sucking On my fucking Dick Yeah And you're having To watch it Yeah

Oh the Black son And now I'm soft Because I'm uncomfortable too Black son I'm gonna Uh yeah Oh the black son And now I'm soft Cause I'm uncomfortable too Black son I'm gonna give your wife A black son What

Yeah You fascist piece of shit Welcome to the fucking Thunderdome My friend Thomas Is gonna suck your friend Kyle's dick And I'm gonna give your wife a black sun

What else are Nazis into? Black A's son Won't you come Turn my friends Yeah anyways that's not good Italy's got a fascist party there in power too Who else fucking Is the guy Is the British dude That's not good. Italy's got a fascist party. They're in power too. Who else fucking is the guy is the British dude.

British British guys in the comments. Sound off. Is Rishi Sunak like see like a right wing guy or he just kind of seems like a fucking dork to me. I can't. I don't know enough about y'all's system. He kind of just seems like he's like a really, just a nerd. I think I heard him talk one time and I think he's like a Thatcher type,

but he's so stupid looking that I can't let his politics wash over me like a ooze, you know what I mean? I can't place it. Yeah, pretty fascinating. Awesome. All right. I know he's the president of uh i believe india right yeah and you're listening to this that means it's free ricky sumac yep ricky sumac hey what's up i'm'm Ricky Sumac. I work at National Tire and Battery. This is my girlfriend, Raven.

We like to go play footy at the park. I'm also the president of Britain, and I'm the president of India, too. Wait, is that guy the president of India? No, that's something Modi. Rishi Sunak is the fucking... He's like the... No, no. I mean, is he the prime minister or whatever? Rishi Sunak?

He's the prime minister of Britain, not India. India? No, I knew he wasn't the... No, no. I mean, is he the prime minister or whatever? Rishi Sunak? He's the prime minister of Britain, not India. India? No, I knew he wasn't the prime minister of India. I was fucking with you, but... Oh, okay. He, the, the... That guy is in power in the UK? Yeah, he's the head honcho.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah. That's good for them. Yeah. They could, uh... Honestly, they need a guy like him to straighten things out. show oh that's cool yeah that's good that's good for them yeah they could uh then honestly they need a guy like him to straighten things out i you know i've been paying close attention you know there was boris johnson theresa may tony blair you know and there's uh the other ones there's

prince john yeah prince there's uh henry the eighth there's um there was uh yeah in berlin There's Prince John. Yeah, Prince. There's Henry VIII. Mm-hmm. Anne Boleyn. There was, yeah, Anne Boleyn. There was Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart. Yeah, Magneto, Jason Statham. Skepta. Dr. Doom. Central Sea. Harry Potter. Yeah, Harry Potter Yeah Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling Honestly they They can't make Ricky Gervais The president of the United Kingdom Because he would be too savage Yeah he would be too And he would get

He would get the UK cancelled Cause he would keep it Too fucking real He'd go up to the UN And he'd say No more No more fucking murders no more fucking war crimes and we're gonna go out there and oh and news flash what i i know i'm gonna get cancelled for this but um sometimes i i say bad words and me flat.

Yeah. Yeah. That'll do it, Ricky. Sometimes I say naughty words in my apartment alone. In me flat. In me flat alone with me flatmates. We say penis pussy pie. Over perhaps some tiki masala.

Over some chips. We say penis pussy pie alone and we giggle. I bet you the crown doesn't approve. I've just had a car link. I've just received a phone call that says I'm being naughty. The guys in the red suits that stand outside the palace are saying I'm being a naughty little boy and I'm going to get a spanking on my bum. Would I get cancelled if I said that Obama gave me AIDS and that his wife was a CIA agent that she sent messages through my brain

and every night I went to sleep and a thousand dogs came and raped me while I was asleep and every time I woke up my toes were gone and I had blood in my teeth. Would you cancel me if I said that? If I said that every time I turn my TV on I see my future dead wife's face in it.

Mr. UN Council. Ricky Gervais I didn't know you were Australian I didn't know you also had It's a type of English So I didn't know That you were profoundly sick buddy I hope you get some help soon

We are going to cancel you We're going to sanction you The International Criminal Court They're pretty busy Trying to get all the IDF guys To go straight to hell But once they handle that business They're going to get your ass for being too naughty, dude.

You really... Where is Ricky Gervais? Ricky. Tell me where Ricky is. Tell me where Ricky... I'm just a delivery guy. I don't know where the cancel-worthy jokes are coming from. He has to be woke.

I'm going to make him woke. My father was a stand-up comic. My father was an edgelord and a forum moderator. He came home way naughtier than usual,

saying, retard and gay guy and Chinese man. Mommy didn't... And Mommy said, where's all our Reddit gold? And I didn't like that. Not one bit.

So I called my mommy the N-word. Now she can't stand the sight of me. Where are the libtards? Where are the libtards? Where are the libtards? And that's what we call podcasting. If you're listening to this, that means that it's free. And you're probably watching it on a YouTube or you're watching it on Spotify or something. And it's free.

And that's cool. But if you want to support the show and help us make more cool fucking badass stuff, we've got some things in the works that I'll be letting you guys know about pretty soon. But if you want to help us make more cool stuff, head on over to patreon.com slash pandejo time. Toss us five bucks a month. This gives you access to a backlog of bonus audio episodes and a free bonus episode every week. One dollar a month. Look, every week. $1 a month. Look, I understand. Time's a fucking tough hole.

$1 a month will get you access to the Discord, but no free bonus shit. You can come in there and shoot the shit. A lot of cool guys in there. Some of my real-life friends that I've made from the show

exist on my phone in there. $10 a month gets you access to all the audio bullshit and the Discord access. And then there's a $50 tier but only do that if you have a bunch of money and you just want to be nice. You don't really get anything else. We have the

big backlog of video episodes and we have free video episodes on our YouTube. Go check those out at Padeo Time Worldwide on YouTube. Give all of the socials a follow too. We're trying to grow that shit and do the clips thing so we can go on Rogan and talk about fucking vaccines and shit. I'm trying to get me some of that fucking

Rogan money. Oh. You think wokeness is your ally, snowflake? I was born... I was born in something awful. Molded by it. I didn't know getting cancelled until I was already a...

He-him. And even then it was woke. You merely adopted the vaccine. We have fun. We have fun on here. I kind of forgot some of the other classic Bane lines. I was wondering what would go work first. Your gender?

Or your body? And then he rips Batman's dick off and just pops a couple bolt-ons on there. And then he marries him. And that is how you get Earth-43 in a DC world. Yeah, anyway, go check out the fucking shit. And what the fuck? I had something else I was going to say. It's not important. All right, y'all. Peace. where, um, yeah, anyway, go check out the fucking shit. And, uh, what the fuck? I had something else I was going to say.

It's not important. All right, y'all peace.