Pendejo Time - sex toy reviews vol. 1

Episode Date: March 22, 2024

a new twist on a fan favoriteSupport the Show.

yeah uh we are we are it's a thursday and some of you are like where's this where's the slop oh no where's my episode where is it where's my episode i'm having an episode i'm having a fuck dude um could i have uh get the manual on the tortilla with Eat the depression. That's how millennials talk. That's how them millennial Latinos be. I'm just kidding. Sorry, guys. Sorry, everybody. We don't mean this.

It's just a joke. Yeah. It's just messing around. It's just having a good time. I saw one of those grippy sock vacation type ladies posted like it guess who's off her meds and it was like walking around her house and there was like like dog piss and like food you know pizza boxes and you know like just like just like dog shit like it just looked like she had been killing people in there and i i like i i really want to do like i want to grab these people by the shoulder and be like you can be a crazy person like you can be profoundly sick you know like there are some people who are too sick to even know what's going on anymore and they need help and that's okay

but if you have the wherewithal to make a little video, and you're like, guess what, girlies? Mama's off her mats. And then make a little cute video of yourself where you're dancing around your apartment to The Garden or something. You don't... To me, personally, you should be killed. I don't think you should be killed,

but I think you should be like... You'd have to wear a big dunce cap that you can't take off and it's made of like titanium and it weighs like 80 pounds it like weighs your head down so you have to walk around in shame you know what i mean like it's it's not it's not cool see i was like i went through a stage where my i my dorm was like that it was just horrible because no i never had anybody in there in there. And it was one of those suite type things where everybody has their own tiny room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like – and my moment of awakening was when the fire marshal came to inspect everybody's dorms. And I got the text and then I got the knock at the door.

And I thought, you know what i'm gonna just be asleep how about that i'm gonna be asleep and he won't come in here and uh he did yeah they go yeah they have and i pretended to still be asleep and i overheard him being like this is a massive fire hazard he needs it there is no this is yeah. And then he like made my other roommates look in there, and I still had my eyes closed, and I was just like, in my head, I was like, damn, come on now. That other guy had three extension cords plugged into each other off like one of those surge protectors.

Why aren't you mad at him? And then he left, and I thought, all right, I win. And then I turned to close the door and I realized that... So I wasn't... I was in the nude. Yeah. But I was under the covers a little bit. But I realized that probably the the top 20 of my ass cheeks

i had it like pulled i thought i had it pulled up higher than i did i think i had just been drinking since that morning so like in my head i was like he's gonna see me snug as a bug and say oh he's sleepy his room looks good and it looks safe from fire for sure dude so what i used to do was i would go to racetrack i would walk to racetrack every night yeah and i would fill up the big gulps with iced coffee and then i would drink about half of it and then i would set it on my mini fridge and there were like 40 of those just old disgusting horrible moldy yeah there was just i mean it was it was legitimately embarrassing at the whole floor covered with clothes and stuff of course yeah because i kept what i i was in one of those stages where you're like constantly

getting on different meds but you're also abusing drugs. So I was just like, I thought the CIA was after me. I'm like, I got bigger shit to deal with. I literally had a zero in every class except for one. I had a two in philosophy because I made an eight on the midterm and then didn't take anything else. ate on the midterm and then didn't take anything else and and i was i had gained that semester um let me think i think 45 pounds in a fall semester i went for i went from 190 to 235 in one semester because i would see i would eat only churros for lunch because it was the best

thing in the cafeteria yeah and i'd also done a water fast type thing where i didn't drink water for a few weeks i would have beer and dr pepper and i wanted to see how long my body could take that and so i looked about 45 and um was fat as fuck dorm was horrible i would like i would download tinder and i'd like you know put pictures up and i would say like i would put pictures where pictures where one would be from the summer when I worked at a lumberyard, and I was tan, I was in shape. Yeah, that's the ticket. And then they would scroll twice, and I'd have a recent picture of me wearing a Goodwill suit with my belly hanging out and like, like shotgunning a beer. And I'd be like,

yeah, honestly, like I think my issue with these dating sites is like, I don't know how to craft the perfect profile. You know what I mean? Like I would always say that I'd be like, yeah, I just don't know how to make these profiles.

Right. And it would be like, you would see a fat guy who clearly just smoked weed out of a can. And then my bio would be like honestly i really like hiking and i like rex orange county but it's like i would just lie i would obviously lie be like yeah i'm a biomedical engineering student and i really love hiking and lifting i like working out a lot i do that a lot i like swimming yeah i like the things that you say you like when you're just trying to get posted and you just like

you just say hobbies that like 30 year olds have but you're like yes 19th you're like i like rock climbing um rappelling i like scuba diving fencing like i uh i honestly want uh i like reading books and stuff but yeah i remember i remember thinking like yeah i fooled him and i was looking my fucking fat dimply ass cheeks are out. And the fire marshal had to see them. And then he got all my roommates to come look at my ass. And then, you know. Well, I guess like, absolutely, everyone knows and listens to the show.

Regardless if you're new or old. I literally lived that way my whole life. Basically until I got a live-in fiance like demanded of me to not be that way. Cause I'm a child in certain aspects of my life. Um, and I, I just have a pretty low threshold for like, or a high threshold for filth.

Like I'll live in it. It really doesn't bother me. Not even really indicative of like my mental state at the time. Like I could have like everything could be going right for me I just don't mind like living in met it doesn't bother me but anyway um yeah I remember I my my my freshman year roommate was Ed you met Ed and uh and he would just straight up be like like just randomly throughout the day would be like why are you why are you like this like not unprompted like we're not talking about it I'm like why am I like

what and he would point into a corner and I had like stacked three pizza boxes on um four like Lone Star Tallboy cans and I would have tried to see how many cans I could stack before the pizza box tower came down. He sleeps in here. We shared a one-bedroom suite. We didn't have our own little room. We shared one. So, dude, in any given moment, he was four and a half, five feet from me,

and our beds were this close. And so I would do the shit like that all the time where I would just throw beer cans on the floor when I was done with them. And it would, like, hit his foot. He would be like, hey, dude, like, I mean, like, I live here, too. And I'm like, yeah, I know, man. Like, I can see you. And he's like, he doesn't understand that I don't understand what he's trying to tell me.

Because, you know, you throw a beer can on the floor and it hits your friend in the foot. And he's like, but if you share a space with that guy, he's like, why are you like that? And I'm like, why am I like what? This is where beer cans go. Like when you're done drinking them, like you're not going to get up and then throw them in the trash. You're just going to throw them on the ground. Where the fuck else would they go? And I remember very distinct moments of like when they would come in and do the fire

marshal thing like literally it was like almost a perfect line in the sand where like ed's side would be like immaculate he's a very clean guy and then my side would look like like it would look like i killed myself three months ago but ed just never got over it like in the room like i hung myself and he's like i don't want to move any of this shit out, man. He's my friend, you know. Like, just all my clothes, like, there's just cigarette butts, like, in my bed because I would chain smoke outside of the dorm. And then I would just shove the cigarette butts in my, like, athletic shorts pockets. And then just, like, go back and, like, fall asleep. Beer, you know, beer can bottles and shit like that.

Beer bottle caps, whatever. Yeah, fucking the RA would come in to do inspections and she'd be like, which one is your side? And I'd be like, oh, the clean one. That's the clean one. Because Ed would like always be out like skating or whatever. And so one person would have, the way they did their inspections is one person had to be in there to like fill out the form.

I remember our RA was this like real fucking ball buster. Like, I don't know, like the best way I can describe it is like imagine a person who really likes the show girls and doesn't just think it's a good show. But like she wants that to be her life. Yeah, that's who our R.A. was. And she was like, who has that side of the dorm because they really really need to get this cleaned up this is disgusting and i'd be like yeah my roommate's just kind of like going through some stuff just completely lie he has a bunch of he's so weird he has a picture of me and my girlfriend on his nightstand yeah he's just honestly like i'm i'm afraid for my safety because um he has all of my stuff

on his side like it has a labeled laptop that says jake rhodes i'll be going to like throw my stuff away he's like not throw it on my side yeah whatever like he has like he had like a mexican flag on his side of the dorm i'm like yeah i just really love my heritage i really love my people uh yeah um but like i don't know you get older i guess the dorm i'm like yeah i just really love my heritage i really love my people uh yeah um but like i don't know you get older i guess the reason i brought that like all of this being led to the point of like at no point during those times of my life did i think that the rest of the world needed to see this you know what i mean like it was a yeah i wasn't like dude this is gonna go viral i was like yeah i should i

hopefully i fucking die this week so this is gonna be somebody else's problem this this is not like this isn't a one-act play this isn't a theater like this is not a spectacle for like the eyes of god and man this is me having been raised to be a certain way and then just never making any changes you know like i my like just growing up in a filthy house and then being a filthy person or whatever the fuck you know yeah um and uh and to turn it into like a i'm feeling a little manic it's like no you're not if you did you'd go get you'd go get a credit card, and you'd buy a moped. Or you'd book a $4,000 trip to the Maldives alone. Or, you know, you'd, like, send a bunch of texts to your friends, like, I fucking hate you.

You're all liars. And you're keeping me down. And they'd be like, dude, what the fuck? And then, like, you'd just not talk to anybody for two weeks and forget it ever happened. You're not going to make, like, a music video, innit video in it i mean i guess you could but i don't know i just i just again i feel like us as men we're we're way more committed to being uh insane we kill people and ourselves you know like we yeah we take it to the we take it to the brink yeah whereas you know i remember at one point i thought i was just like really down.

I thought I was just really depressed. I got to where I was really having a hard time walking. And I thought, man, I'm not like medically obese. You know what I mean? It's kind of weird that I like all my joints are really just inflamed constantly. And my whole body, I've had a headache for like a month, I think. Yeah. And I was like, ah, you know, that's just kind of how it is for everybody.

You know what I mean? And then I got to where I couldn't walk to the cafeteria anymore. And so I was like, all right, well, I guess I'll live off of pudding and Gatorade for a while. And I had a bunch of Keystone in my car. So I just drink room temperature Keystone in my car. And I'm like, ah, I wish I could eat. And it was good. And then I was just kind of had a feeling one day where I was like,

I think I'm going to die soon. Yeah. So I just drove to my parents' house. And as soon as I walked in, my mom was just like, do you need to go to a hospital and so i had i went to an urgent she took me to an urgent care and they said i had um a sinus infection um a throat infection a respiratory infection and two ear infections and i just had i had an i had a whole body infection somehow.

My body was just not even trying to fight off. You were festering, basically. I was like, the doctor was like, yeah, I mean, your ears are swollen shut. I'm seeing green and black up your nose. It looks like you can't breathe and your throat looks inflamed. We're just going to cut your head and chest off

and see if it grows back. You know, it was good. The coolest thing about being that sick when you're like new, newly out on your own and even in like a minor way or whatever

is like I would be like that and I would still smoke a pack a day and is like i would be like that and i would i would still smoke a pack a day and drink like 12 beers a day like no i never let anything like two ear infections and a throat infection and like a respiratory infection or whatever get in the way of like of me just living my life normally like i remember i I had bronchitis because I did the thing where I had, like, a cough and I never did anything about it. It just turned into bronchitis. And then I got, what the fuck?

I got, like, yeah, I think, like, an inner ear infection or something. I was fucked up, dude. And I go to, like, the student health center and they give me, like, medicine or whatever. And then, like, interesting enough, like later on that day, I'm at the bar across from the campus and the nurse that saw me is there. And she's seeing me like shoot Jamo and like chain smoke. And she just like jokingly was like, hey, you know, probably not good for you.

And I'm like, I was like, why? Why would I stop it? Like very aggressive. Why would I? What are you, a doctor? for you and i'm like i was like why why would i stop this like very aggressive why would i what are you a doctor like what are you a nurse that saw me five hours ago and gave me fucking like robitussin and like told me to like drink water and go to sleep tonight it's not gonna get in the way of wednesday night this is wednesday you know what i mean this is i'm 19 years old and i have 14 in my checking account so you, this is party time for me,

uh, trying to figure out like all of the different medicines. Like, I think, I think I told you like they put me on that. It's called Depoco. It's like a pretty gnarly, um, I think it's a mood stabilizer. People with bipolar disorder. And, um, it was the shrink that came recommended to me by like the free therapist that was at my school i went to and he just kept it a bill with me and was like um hey this is gonna even you out um but it's really hard on your body um you will gain weight it is not a matter of some people do um on average you can expect about 15 to 20 pounds for men. Women's a little bit more. So, hey, you guys got it, you know, pretty light on that one.

You know, one of those shrinks that he sometimes tries to do like a tight five. I don't know if you've ever had like a funny therapist. They're like, hey, look, that's not as bad for you guys. Anyway, yeah, I gained like 50, 60 pounds in the three, four months I was on that. My hair would just be like, I'd be pulling it out in clumps in the shower. And I remember going to him and I was like, hey, dude, my penis broke. My hair, gone. My body, my belly, super big. My ass, stinky, fat too.

Like I'd sweat all the time and I would just smell like under your own nuts because it just like increased your body temperature too. Like, I'd sweat all the time, and I would just smell, like, under your own nuts. Because it just, like, increased your body temperature, too. Yeah. So I just always smelled like, like, you ever, you know, you have to work out, or you sit down on the bench, and you get a whiff of your own nut sack and taint, and you're like, ah, it's not good. I gotta go home and shower. I just smelled like that for, like, two months on this shit. It was just really gnarly. Beast mode.

So, yeah, to alleviate that, they put me on lithium and saraquil the classic stack the two for two um but i remember being pissed off and when i brought up my complaints to him about depakote he was like well we did go over the the we went over the side effects you know i mean like and i was like i don't i know brother i'm not complaining that you didn't invent the pill he's's like, well, you did sign the contract. And I'm like, it's not what I'm mad about. You said you would take it for the rest of your life, so here we are. Yeah. It sucks so fucking bad.

I hated that shit so much. Did I ever tell you that one time Rich Gay Zach zach for a popular character uh from the show um he we were living together and uh he would always come up to me uh because he just he'd take anything if he thought he'd get him fucked up and remember one time he was like hey how much of your wellbutrin would i have to take to like get high and i was like my well butrin he's like yeah like you take that and I was like yeah I yeah okay I have to it keeps me from like you know wanting to kill myself or whatever and he was like oh well like do you ever try to like you know like you take a bunch of xanax so you can get high or like you know you get fucked up I was like it doesn't work

that way man it's a it's an snri it's like and he was like well what hat what would happen and I was like, it doesn't work that way, man. It's an SNRI. It's like, and he was like, well, what would happen? And I was like, you'd have a seizure. You'd go on a serotonin shot. He goes, oh, okay. Well, like, two years later, we're still living together, and I got put on Seroquel, which, like, at low doses, like, knocks you the fuck out, like, just alcohol. And I was taking lithium as well,

and I was working on a paper for him. I did all of his homework, and he'd pay me. And he, like, comes up to the door, and he, like, opens it, and he's like, Yaker, hey, Yaker. And I was like, what's up, Zach? And he's like, so, like, you're sleeping pills. And I was like, mm-hmm. He's like, Seroquel?

I was like, yeah. He's like, I don't think they would make me sleepy. Very, like, sassy. I was like, yeah. He's like, I don't think they would make me sleepy. Very, like, sassy. I was like, what do you mean? He was like, I just, like, I take, like, a lot of Xanax. I just don't think they would make me very sleepy. This is the same guy that called the lot in Sweet Little Candy. You know, like, he would just do baby talk to other grown men.

And it's amazing that we never saw him as gay up until he came out. But anyway, I was like, Zach, it's designed to make you sleepy at low doses. It helps with my sleep because I don't sleep. It's a medication for sleep. It's not just for sleep, but it does do that. He was like, yeah, I just don't think it would make me very sleepy. It's like, okay, what's don't think it would make me very sweepy It's like okay What's going on? What do you want? And he was like, well, will you give me one?

I was like, no, dude, like also leave me alone. Like I'm writing your fucking senior thesis or whatever the fuck He's like, okay Like ten minutes goes by he comes in with the bottle and he's like 10 milligrams hmm which was this you know the dosage and i was like what and he's like i don't think 10 milligrams would make like somebody like me very very very cp i think i probably would need more and i was like all right dude you know what take two i only take one take two and if you don't get sleepy if you don't get sleepy sleepy um I'll knock a hundred bucks off your paper but if you fucking pass out for 16 hours you got to give me an extra hundred bucks he was like deal very excited he takes two and he goes

into his room and I hear him watching fucking tv And he like comes into my room and he sits down on my bed and I'm in my desk. And he's like, how's paper going, Yeager? And I was like, it's fine. You know, it's just politics, whatever. He goes, hmm. How's the paper going, Yeager? It's like, it's good, brother. You know?

And I turn back and his eyes are like blood red. And he's just like a tetherball. Just like doing this. And he goes, thank you for writing it for me. You're welcome, man. But you're paying me like hundreds of dollars to do this. It's kind of like our deal, right? Since we met each other freshman year.

Like, you give me a bunch of money. I do your homework. You know? He was like, do you like doing the papers like no I don't but it's you know

I'm good at it and I go to a private school and I don't have any money so it's a win win for me you know hmm hmm

hey Yaker hey buddy what's up I think I'm getting a little sweepy I would like look back at him and he's like laying on my bed like which is like whatever like it's you know it's my roommate but I he was like in his underwear and it was the like he was wearing the like the Calvin's because he only wore Calvin Klein

underwear and we just he was wearing Calvin's that like not the Calvin Klein underwear. And we just, he was wearing a Calvin's that like, not the, not the tight fitting ones, but like the sat, like the nice loose ones. And just one of his nuts is like hanging out of his fucking underwear. He was like, I,

how many, do you remember how many of you sweepy pills I took? Yaker. And I was like, you took two. He was like, Ooh, I have an 8am tomorrow. And I was like,

are you getting sleepy? He was like, I'm getting so sleepy, buddy. I was like, oh, I have an 8 a.m. tomorrow. And I was like, are you getting sleepy? He was like, I'm getting so sleepy, buddy. I was like, go to bed, man. And he was like, what? If I do that, I lose the bet. It's like, dude, go the fuck to sleep. Like you took, you know, like you're abusing sleeping meds. It's like not yours.

He goes, okay, fine, whatever. And he goes to sleep. He doesn't wake up till like the next night at like 9 p.m he wakes up and he just thought that he like took a nap because we were having this conversation at night and he was like oh how long have i been out and i was like i had 18 hours he was like why didn't y'all wake me up and i was like oh we tried like you just were unresponsive and he was like how many of your things did i take i was like oh two and's like, why did you let me do that? And he would always pull that shit, dude. Like, if he, like, did too much blow or, like, ate, like, eight sticks, you know, and, like, drank half a bottle of wine, he'd be like, why did you guys let me do that?

We're like, you bought the ticket, dude. He took the fucking ride. It was your life. But he, like, loved to just ask, like, it's one of his favorite things to do is just ask like if you had medicine like could it get him fucked up like like a kid that's like you know like you got games on your phone yes but like do you have oxycontin in your medicine um shout out to Rich Gay Zach He's rich And gay And he's Zach

He was just He was just in Mexico And he was sending us pictures of him He bought a bunch of He bought a bunch of Tramadol In Cancun And was like

This is bullshit Like last time I was here I got Oxy And I was like What this is bullshit like last time i was here i got oxy and i was like what do you need oxy or like tramadol for he's like a rainy day like in the same way that like maybe you and me like are we calling a work we're just not feeling it maybe we cracked that first beer open like and by the way i've been and i've done like you know whatever i had that's how i live my life too but like he was like oh but he again

doesn't understand you know it's like a rainy day you wouldn't take a couple trammies on a rainy day I'm like no not anymore like if I like if I call into work it's pretty depressing because I work from home to like if

I want to play hooky it's also pretty depressing because again I don't get anywhere to be you know um he's like no these are just my rainy day my rainy day trammies you know my my little sweet treats and i was like respect buddy we all love you we'll never stop loving you you know but whenever you want i respect anybody who can do that and be like a highly functioning person he is incredibly high functioning yeah like i could i couldn't if i casually did an oxycontin it would throw off the next six months of my life irreparably well like yeah like when i i i i made it work for a while, but as life got more complicated,

as it tends to do as you get older, like, I could no longer keep up anymore. And that's why I had to quit or whatever. And so he'll, you know, like, him and another one of our old roommates would be like, yeah, dude, this is fucking stressful, man. I got a new job. I just moved, like, a thousand miles away from home.

So, I mean, you know, thinking about just, like, breaking into, like, the old stash, you know, I got a couple of Oxy-80s. And I'm like, yeah, thinking about just, like, breaking into, like, the old stash, you know, I got a couple Oxi 80s. And I'm like, yeah, to your point, Thomas, like, oh, let me just break into an Oxi 80. Like, in the same way you're like, I've got a vintage wine that I got for, like, a Christmas party. Like, that part of my brain isn't really turned on anymore. It could very easily be turned on. You know what I mean?

Like, it very easily could. But you have to keep it turned on. You know what I mean? Like, it very easily could. But you have to keep it shut off. You know what I mean? You have to. It's imperative that you keep it, like, just at a whisper. Like, just, hey. Work's been slow. Might have a couple of quaaludes past the time, you know.

Yeah, you know, I've been really thinking about, like, I don't know. I've been fighting a lot, me and the wife. I'm just going to probably, you know, I'm going to throw on some It's Always Sunny, you know. Get in my fucking, my cozy pajamas, turn my phone on, do not disturb, and throw a couple speedballs at me. You know what I mean? Just get nice and just fucking, just die a little. Ain't nothing like dying a little. Ain't that right, baby?

Ain't that right. Do you want to see my nuts? I'm so happy. Sorry. That's okay. I didn't even know what the riff was going to be. I just thought of the rhythm, and then I was going to say maybe, Mother, tell your children not to serve my cunt or something like that.

Maybe. Who knows? Okay. Okay. That's fine. Again, this is the world is our oyster. Mother, tell your children not to clean their plate. Okay.

Yeah. Tell your children not to eat their peas. Carrots. Broccoli. Tell your green beans took it off my corn i was still doing the gay i was still doing the gay slaying thing like oh she ate like no crumbs left on the plate but i really it's fine and i wonderful i was just gonna name off different vegetables that i could think of if i'm being honest i didn't have any word that didn't have much rhubarb

it is tasty in a baked pie radish tell potato tell potatoes not to turn up uh i was going to say eggs. That's not a vegetable. Jesus Christ. Neither are potatoes. I don't know if turnips are either. It's a tuber? It's a tuber. I don't know if turnips or radishes are either. I don't know shit.

I'm dumb as fuck. What are carrots? That's a vegetable, right? It's a root vegetable. No, it's not. Yes, it is. Yeah, it's a root vegetable. I don't It's just a Yes it is Yeah it's a root vegetable I don't

Fucking know anything Who gives a shit anymore What is I was gonna google What is a carrot That I act like I'm smart I was

I was about to pull up google And say what is a carrot It is insane That I've been hired for I got into I've been You know I got into university

On a scholarship They let me in I mean I got into university on a scholarship they let me in i mean i didn't pass but why did they let me in it's like what is a carrot like what would i fucking what's he gonna tell me a carrot is a vegetable that's orange and then i go okay that's what i thought worst case scenario it's a completely different Now I have to check it You know What is it Yeah I get it I get it Carrot Ask children

Asking Google What a carrot is I accidentally said What carrot What What is What carrot What carrot

It's a root vegetable Okay sick Typically orange in color Though heirloom Though heirloom variants include Purple, black, red, white, and yellow Cultivars exist I've had purple carrot before

Pretty good The wild carrot Daucus carota Is native to Europe and southwestern Asia One serving of carrot is one medium And wild carrot, Daucus carota, is native to Europe and Southwestern Asia. One serving of carrot is one medium. Can I have one medium? By that, obviously, I mean a carrot.

61 grams, please. Have you seen... I went on Uber Eats in favor the other day. It just reminded me. A lot of the companies are using the AI to write their food descriptions and then just saying fuck it and not doing any. So it'll be like, Southwest Burger made with wonderful, delicious. They're just doing Chinese AI, Thomas,

but like wonderful, delicious cheese draped over beef bison patty under two buns that is how a burger is made and when you eat it you think for certain that it is a beef burger it's completely fucking sick i don't know why you would describe a carrot as having like is that from wikipedia like why it's a medium uh well no i was looking at the nutrition facts of carrot, and it said serving size, one medium, 61 grams. Potatoes are also a vegetable, apparently. Fucking piss. God damn it.

Jesus Christ. My God. It's a starchy-ass vegetable. Hell nah. You can tell potatoes are starched because they're firm as hell. Bro, potato is a tuber. What you reading? I looked up is potato veggie on Google.

And it said potatoes are the most widely produced vegetable in the U.S. What an example of tubers. The most well-known tuber is a potato. Yeah, it is a tuber. It's also a vegetable. I think vegetable is a pretty broad category. Oh, yeah. Veggie definition.

Tubers help plants perinate and provide energy and nutrients. Veggie means a vegetable. Hillary, tubers help plants perinate and provide energy and nutrients, Hillary. And are a means of asexual reproduction. I love sexually reproducing. Apparently fruits are also vegetables.

I didn't know that shit either. Apparently spaghetti is also fucking green beans. I had no idea. The serving size for a vegetable is half a green beans. I had no idea. That's what it says. The serving size for vegetable is half a cup. Can I have a half a cup of vegetable, please?

I just, sorry. I've got Google pulled up, but I want to read you the trending searches. Little Caesars pizza, crazy puffs. Elon Levy, British Israeli spokesman fortnight midas vending machine alabama bill diversity pig kidney transplant ozempic pregnancies hold on and then my my favorite two my favorite combos right here

cosmos persona quiz personality quiz directly under, Israel-Gaza ceasefire. I wonder what kind of person I am, and I wonder if they're going to get this thing sorted. I need to figure out where I lie. So I just went on this forum real quick. I don't really know where I am. And I love this question here. I don't really know where I am. And I love this question here. I don't like vegetables. Is there a good

substitute? In parentheses, healthy tuna bread? I'm looking for a vegetable, but maybe something that's also tuna and bread. Basically, what I need is a fillet of fish. Is a tuna melt a vegetable? Does that work?

It's healthy It's tuna, it's bread And then somebody responds If you really want to improve your health And it means that much to you You will do whatever it takes. And yeah, of course it will stink for the first week or so. But once you start seeing those results, you'll be so glad you did change.

Wait, of course it will stink? About trying a vegetable? Oh, oh, I thought they were just saying in general, like, it will. Like, what is it? Yeah, also, the original poster was dog lover 29 oh my god that's awesome welcome to the vegetable haters club lol all i could say is there are supplements out there that does have the same basic nutritions in them as some vegetables.

I take one. Nice. I love people who hate vegetables. I think that's so cool that that trait has survived. I get it when you're a kid, you know, but if you get older and you start eating better food, like when you eat vegetables that are cooked well, you're like, oh, I get it now. You know what I mean?

One of Ashley's brothers is like a, you know, he's like a Houston, like, he's grown and family man now, but he's like a tough guy, like, you know, tough guy, like, you know, grew up in Southeastern, all that fun stuff, whatever. And he also, all that fun stuff, whatever.

He also hates vegetables, and he only really likes to eat the steak fingers that you get from the frozen ones. Like Walmart, and he loves Easy Mac cups. He only drinks Twisted Tea, too. But he also is an insanely intimidating guy. To me, it makes you way scarier as a person. You know what i mean if you're like not taking care of your body if you're just eating like baby food i fear not the man who has practiced uh 10 000 kicks one time i fear the man who eats baby food like fucking lifts i just found an old forum uh Thing about whether potatoes are good for you Resident Herbivore checking in

Potatoes are not particularly good for you Very starchy What you want is a nice kale hybrid E.g. Tender stem broccoli Slash broccolini In parentheses kale plus brock Or kale plus sprout

highly nutritious and delicious plus you're eating a man-made abomination that is against god's plan i love forums i like to read about the if you ever uh go and read all of the like reviews for like the supplements that Joe Rogan like pitches like the alpha brain got one here one star by Caroline a month ago caused loss of ability to speak and motor function one star about an hour after I took the two capsules as instructed by Anna and Joe Rogan I thought I needed to go to the hospital. I was trying to articulate something to my husband, and I could barely form a sentence beyond frightening all on its own. Muscles all over my body started to periodically twitch to the point where I needed to lay down in the fetal position.

I eventually also experienced nausea. Yeah, apparently this shit just kills, like, a lot of the people that it takes, or it puts them in the hospital. Here's a review from Linda. This is for the memory and focus one. One star. Beware. After hearing this advertised on Joe Rogan, I ordered the product.

On the day I took it, I took no other supplements, only the AlphaBrain. Within an hour and a half, the nausea started, and a half hour later, I was throwing up, dizzy, lightheaded, and nauseated for the next six hours. Another bizarre side effect was it made my tongue feel swollen and thick. Was really

disappointed to discover this product is not returnable on Amazon. Wait. Wait, sorry. This is from christoph aloha brain works maybe a little too much i took two capsules before bedtime and the next day i remember what i dreamt about f-16 fighter pilot let me see uh what else uh uh i believe if you're thinking of this supplement as the movie we all watched at one point another limitless then you're wrong this supplement work with the ideal goal in mind that it boosts your brain energy to the next level but in turn it's still your motivation and ability to keep going forward in life,

changes will happen without you knowing. This guy takes AlphaBrain and then starts dreaming about fighter pilots and then, I guess, just types up a bunch of fucking motivational speeches. Here's from Denise. Decided to try this for brain fog, etc. as I like to try new nootropics here and there.

Turns out it made me so sick I had to cancel gym and dinner plans. I'm still stuck on the couch in agony, dizzy and spending my evening in the bathroom vomiting. Not to mention there was never a mental benefit unless you count the headache and twitching eye. Seriously disappointed. There are far better products without these crazy debilitating side effects. Excuse me while I return to the bathroom.

I want to let... I love that people take this shit because it's on Rogan and it just makes you sick and like tweaky. This guy starts his off with a quote from um philosopher philosopher of language uh witgenstein witgenstein the limits of my words are the limits of my world witgenstein i lift words brah over last 15 year have been on top shelf neutroics regimen and place acute premium on lucid recall future delens on it and adocially over a fortnight alpha brain most facious and merits positive feedback and if cruising in fourth gear isn't head-soring enough i'm looking forward to sampling fifth gear blue label line for that special undertaking screenplay there are moments akin to the Ford and Ferrari scene

where driver Ken Miles, number one from Ford, has to slow down and let distant number two and three cars catch up so they can all cross finish line at once. Savvy. Consider being superior to your former self. We could all do better. And then the same quote from Wittgenstein again at the bottom. I like how he starts off with a philosopher

and then this is the most like fucking like unintelligible word salad a man could type. Here's a review for InfoWars Life DNA Force Plus Energy Optimizer with COQ10 and BioPQQ.

Okay. One star. Gave my wife lead poisoning. Fuck yeah, dude. One star. My wife fucking died, dude. Okay, let's see. We're going down some more.

I just found a promising supplement because it has two-thirds five-star reviews and one-third one-star reviews and nothing in between. Okay. Let's see. Okay, never mind. My bad. This kind of, never mind.

It was just a very little used product. So my bad on that one. No worries. That's okay. We're fine. This has turned into a review episode. Sometimes they're stinkers. Sometimes they don't matter at all.

Let me see. I'm going to find Rhino Pill reviews. Yeah, please go. Oh, this is going to really be awesome for my Amazon algorithm now that I think about it. Oh, yeah.

Fuck it. Yeah, my shit was fucked for a while and I was on my work email which was badass. Oh, they removed I think they removed all the one-star reviews on this. One star only. Yeah, none of the, despite the fact that 34% of the reviews are one star, you cannot see any of them.

So that's good. Oh, so you can't see any of the Rhino? No, not for this one, but it might be an unauthorized dealer also okay i want to read the ones for the the girls uh that they take i forget what it's called i think pretty kitty what is it called pink pussycat there we go pink women tank take a pink pussycat yeah have you never heard of it it's like the girl version of the rhino pills i guess it's supposed to make your shit like fucking bounciers i don't fucking know but um pink pussycat reviews uh penis enhancement let's see penis in large oil large size thicker longer stronger okay i got a good feeling about the reviews on this one Penis in large oil Large size Thicker, longer, stronger

Okay, I got a good feeling about the reviews on this one Shit, hold on Dude, this is badass Pink pussycat contains hidden drug ingredient From the Food and Drug Administration FDA laboratory analysis confirmed That pink pussycat contains sildenafil The active ingredient in Viagra

I didn't know The girls could even take that stuff. What did this one have to say about it? Took an hour for it to kick in. Per the instruction. For me. I started feeling a little tingle in my clit. But I was not aroused. So this item is called.

This is the name on Amazon. Extra strength. Men male enlarger oil natural dick growth oil crazy life oil extension growth men 10 milliliters male enlargement oil increased size 10

milliliters by crazy life. One star. Do this product makes large and big work. One star Do this product Makes large and big Work Well uh Fuck I gotta sign in here Um

So Uh One second Another one on the same product Five stars Don't like Bad product Wait was this for

The oil one This is the same one Five stars Bad product Don't like Bad product Don't like Uh

This pink pussycat Liquid shot From Zenful Pleasures Made my shit Purr like a kitty Had heightened sensations Big desires And then it says here

Hold on I'm scrolling down I was hungry for it. Jeez, lady, ew, dude. No, dude. That's so nasty. Okay, this is for Max Mann Enlarging Essential Oil. One star. Do not buy this.

The instructions make no sense, as they were obviously translated from another language to English. Extremely greasy and smells terrible. Also, it just does not work or do anything at all, period. I wouldn't use this as a massage oil either. Okay for jelking, I guess. Yeah. For gooning, awesome,

but not so much for actually having sex with a woman I wouldn't recommend it for trying to have sex With a lady or even a man Or like a different type of lady But for jelking and gooning It was perfect for me This arrived in a small box With a lube and a small dropper bottle

Honestly I can do much better With the tried and true vacuum penis pumps. But this was about as good as straight MCT oil. MCT oil? Oh, yeah. Okay. Let's see here. More. Let's go to

reviews. Oh, there's one called Z-Agra, and it's a zebra. Man, he looks horny. That's pretty sick. Top review, five stars. La salud. Si me agrada. Si me agrada.

Wait, what? Yes, I like it. oh okay all right it pleases me oh okay there we go all right that guy god bless him i love it when people post penis growth reviews under their full government name and their profile picture is like of their family or whatever yeah yeah so awesome let's see oh no reviews on men's vacuum pump sports massager all right that's too bad my yeah this is going to be a pretty bad um it's gonna be rough for me on amazon for a while here but i do it for you guys i want to say this into my laptop's computer that my shit does work. Mine works sometimes too, so let's see. Jet Black 9000 male enhancer.

I love the names of these fucking things. 7800 male power. Rhino pills, men. Gear aisle. Why is this on the steroids section? Uh, let me see. Yes. Uh, what the fuck? I'm gonna find some penis pump reviews.

Like, for real, if you have major limp noodle-itis and are afraid to get that blue pill from the doctor, I highly recommend any of the rhino 69 400 thousands are up it's a fat ass pill but it made my dick harder than the north korean border trying to leave i swear up and down that this motherfucker also had my dick grow a extra inch do some research on the rhino 69 line from promotion chance 1148 response where you get it from the store I love that that's so awesome one star on this penis pump painful oh dude this one's awesome There's a penis pump that Sucks your penis way too hard

And like hurts your penis And then dies forever This is nice Dies forever If only I could find a way To deal with the pain and the inevitable Edema due to the too high suction In fact the edema gets so bad

That it causes me to have to take days off from pumping, which inhibits my progress. Do not buy this. It's too painful to deal with. Inhibits my progress. So, there are some serious issues with it. Number one, the suction, even on the lowest setting, is way too strong.

The recommended pressure by most experts is right around 100 max. Or negative 100. I think this is PSI. This thing goes up to negative to 136. Wait, hold on. So the penis pump, the vacuum, is sucking your penis with 100 PSI?

I don't know. It just says it doesn't have a unit of measurement. Oh, okay. I was like, that's insane, dude. Putting your dick in a vacuum? I mean, that's what they're doing. I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, it's like, but that's like a lifted truck tire.

So I don't know. It's like the suspension that you'd throw on an old Ranger or something. Unless you, too, unless you position it perfectly and don't get any lube on your balls, they will get sucked in or smashed against the base of the cylinder so hard that the pain is unbearable. Three, even when you manage to position it right, the pain of the over-the-top suction is something to behold. I do interval pumping.

Five minutes on, one to two minutes rest. And those five minutes on are excruciating. Four, and this should be a problem for most of our listeners, the cylinder is only eight inches long. So if you're like me or longer, you'll have very little space to get any bigger before you top out. Dude, if your penis is eight inches and you're putting it in a suction to get it bigger,

fucking relax, man. Dude, accept what God gave you, you fucking useless cocksucker. Oh, my stupid 10-inch penis won't get any bigger. Shut up. Alright, you're fine. Get a real hobby. Yeah, my... Dude, oh my God. Some men fucking don't... You're sucking

a gift horse by his dick. That's fucking unfair. Some guys have all the goddamn luck. Do rhino pills make you hard? Is rhino the same as that? What did Gannis do? One star. Would not shut off while sucking.

If I could add a D pick, I would. Left me with three messed up bruises and messed up vessels. Did not shut off on level four. Not even the valve would release. This guy got sucked in a penis sucking nightmare. The worst penis suck of all time. Yeah, all these guys are saying their penis got bruised up and destroyed and they couldn't turn it off and it just sucked their penis to death and exploded it.

This is awesome. First sexual experience was Zagra. My hubby was harder than typical and actually fuller and thicker, which he really doesn't need, but it was fun. The part where it gets beyond the snake hole, though, Cooler and thicker. Which he really doesn't need, but it was fun. The part where it gets beyond the snake hole, though, he was noticeably bigger at rest. In quotations.

Like a drag car. For about three days. Basically a partial chub at all times. That sounds annoying. If you're just like 60% hard for like three days a week, I think I think I'm all right. Do gas station dick pills work? This pump is horrible. In under five uses, it started cracking.

Yes, dude. Oh, my God. What's the name of the fucking dildo that lays eggs in you? What's that thing? I brought that up at work the other day, and everybody thought I used it. Yeah. How'd the guys think about that? I probably shouldn't have brought it up at work. What'd they have to say about it?

One star It was bad Sucked my stuff in And I couldn't pull it out Really screwed myself up By what? On the This is still on the same penis pump

Oh okay He got his shit stuck in there And it hurt him up real bad I am The ovipositor There we go very good um let's see no i don't want to read amazon reviews i want to read reviews of the ovipositor reviews this uh this other guy is saying that he had to separately buy a magnifying glass to read the instructions on the penis pump because he couldn't read it it was too small

that so he but he separately bought a magnifying glass and looked through it like sherlock holmes to get his penis up bigger and purple. Very, very, very cool. That is very awesome. I would like... I would like to read... I want to read the reviews of the dildo that lays big alien eggs in your butt. No reviews. No reviews. All right. your butt no reviews no reviews all right I'll just go on to a regular dildo for now and we can

just looking at it here my neighbor can see my computer from his window but it's okay I'm secure enough in the man I am nobody let's see yeah this is for a 17 I don't know how what a normal cost is but this is 17 bucks seems like a pretty good deal honestly and it's got pretty good reviews um oh god I don't oh man dude no I don't even want to... Dude, some people... I'm king shaming this, dude. That's not... I don't even want to read this, dude. That's fucking gross.

I'm sorry. Thomas, would you like me to read it out loud to you? Sure. I'll read it in Hank voice. It'll make it better. So, ovipositors. My partner and I recently discovered we have a shared fantasy of playing with an ovipositor,

one of them sex toys that lays gelatin eggs inside you for those unfamiliar with the word. We got it yesterday, immediately made some gelatin, filled the molds, and left them to set. Come 6 p.m. today, they've had long enough to set, and it's time to take. Come 6 p.m. today, they've had long enough to set, and it's time to take a quick trip to the bedroom.

Let me tell you, the porn that exists about these toys did not prepare us for the experience in the slightest. First off, are you listening, Thomas? Don't close your ears. We lubed up that toy, and I slid it in her. It's pretty girthy, but nothing extreme. So far, it's a pleasantly large toy. So far, so good. Then I put an egg into it.

Lubed it up. It slipped in pretty easily, but it was still in the part of the toy not quite inside of my wife. All right, let's see. Moving on. So in goes two eggs and now three now the first one is slipping into her and as it does it gets very girthy indeed she's making pleasant noises the eggs are going where they should and everything is awesome yeah that's awesome i'm not done now she starts going crazy thomas i'm working my ass off but it's still great i get one more egg in her and the other two are broken up inside the toy still oh boy is she having a blast and i'm loving this experiment i begin milking some of the broken bits through the toy into her body.

And I finished with a larger egg that we also had a mold for. That didn't fit through the toy, but at this point it slipped into her so easy because she's ready for more eggs. what'd you think of that dude what'd you what'd you think of that fucking shit man i got so much at least they had a good time they start melting can you send me a link for wherever where the fuck on the internet are you because i've been googling oviposors like crazy and I can't fucking find it. Damn it. The eggs start melting and running out of her. Bah. Over everything.

I'm covered in this thick goop from the wrist down on both hands. I also managed to get it all over my belly button and both my thighs when I was trying to get the ovipositor inside of her. Let me tell you, gelatin is basically pulverized bones. Know what else is, or used to be anyway? Made this way? Gloop. Yep, once this stuff dries, it's stuck to everything. My thighs are stuck together. My hands are stuck together. I'm stuck to the bed. The skin and my pubic hair is stuck together. It's really thick. It don't dry.

But the moment you touch something and it spreads a little thinner, instant cohesion. Do you like that? Yeah, that was nice. Where are you? I'm looking at Tenga toy reviews right now, but they're kind of tame. Apparently, the Tenga spinner is a great entry-level masturbator that provides complex stimulation through a simple but ingenious stroker design.

I mean, that's nice. Actually, I got into the damn BDSM forum. Okay. You were already in there in an active memory. Yeah, yeah, I rhyme a mod. Sounds like a good time was had. This is adorable. This is not fucking

adorable. You people. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, this is adorable and alien egg butt is not allowed to be used in the same fucking

sentence. Veiny, slick, silicone dragon dick. The eggs can be silicone for vaginal use or for anal use.

According to the reviews, gelatin has the advantage of dissolving over time, so they'll just come right out. I fucking... Oh, man. The biomechanics of locust ovipositor valves. Oh, that's about science. Okay.

Okay. So this is somebody on fetish comm who wanted to build a sex room in their house they said what are your what are the essentials you know and it's nice seeing all the different viewpoints one guy just said dildo A band member said me. And this guy had a lot of advice. That's good. He said, it really depends on what kind of play style you have. But big things for most people would be anchor points and an organizational system for tools, toys, and clothing.

I also have dirty bins for toys, towels, sheets, or clothes that need to be cleaned and disinfected. I'm a huge music guy, so my playroom has a great sound system. If you're planning on spending a good deal of time in there, perhaps for aftercare, you might want to create comfortable ambiance with art or lighting. You may also want a mini fridge for easy access to hydration, snacks, or

temperature play. Ice cubes, etc. You may want first aid equipment, a 911 tool, safety scissors tool to cut any rope. Also, depending on location, you might want to add soundproofing. Ha ha. It really depends

on how you're planning to use the space. That's good. I'm on the website. I like it when people talk like they're building a deck. Yeah. Yeah. You got to get the stain just right, because otherwise the rain's going to wash it down.

You don't want that in the groundwater. Yeah. All right. I'm on the website for the ovipositor. For those who really like eggs, here's the name of some of their products, Thomas. You have the Bork, the Blip, the Glorp, the Krubera, the Splorch, the Bedbug, the Brogoth, the Squick, and the Clyde. Now, Thomas, many of these are mythical animals. Nothing from God's creation.

But I'll give you one guess as to the shape of the Clyde ovipositor that lays eggs in you. What animal do you think that that would be named after? I'll give you one guess. I don't know. I'm looking at a huge fake horse penis that lays reptilian eggs in your butt if you so desire yeah that sounds good yeah that's yeah yeah that sounds good oh yeah i found somebody asked what's your favorite thing to use as a makeshift dildo? One person said broom handle.

Jesus Christ. One person said the handle end of a screwdriver. And then a bunch of other people were like, oh, yeah, me too. This one lady said beer and wine bottles and Coke cans. Get the fuck out of here, you big old fucking... No, dude. A screwdriver? Look, fucking Coke can, fine. Also a bubble sword that's empty,

a toothbrush, a fondant rolling pin, a plastic skipping rope handle. Jesus Christ. Baseball bat. Wiffle ball bat. Tennis racket handle. G.I. Joe doll.

People are also freezing fruit to use it as dildos, and then they're wrapping it up in paper and stuff or whatever so that's nice good to know that's going on in the world i guess i mean there's worse things going on to be fair i am literally on a fetish forum right now so i mean it's not really uh i suppose i am going out of my way to see this right now but um here's a conversation that a guy had with his mom when she found out he was buying gelatin powder to make eggs to shove in his butt. I'll read for both characters.

A preamble to purchase my gelatin powder. I actually had to ask my mom for some help. As in, where would I buy this stuff? I guess I could have asked someone at the supermarket because when I told her about it, she asked me what I was going to use it for. This was how the discussion went. Me, what I was going to use it for. This was how the discussion went. Me.

Mom, I want to buy some gelatin. Not jelly, but gelatin. Mom, what do you want that for? Me. Saw a recipe that needed it. Not a lie. They send you a recipe to make the eggs with splorgy, which is a name of an alien dildo that deposits the eggs into your butthole. Mom, what kind of recipe? Me, a recipe that needed gelatin.

My mom, dot, dot, dot. Me, wondering if my mom had an ovipositor of her own and knew what I was really up to. Are you going to tell me or is it a secret? Mom, a lot of desserts use gelatin powder. Here's where to find it in the supermarket. It's basically over the awkward interlude. Interlude. Oh, God.

Lube. This shit's making my... Oh, my God. They show a picture of the egg in the fucking penis. Nice. So here's a guy named Thomas who is looking for a reliable chastity cage. Okay. Because his tip always sneaks out, and he's and one old guy I don't know his name he says a piercing is the only way to want to secure a device 100% neo steel is the

most secure device available although at 600 pounds and up, it's a British man, I assume. It's not cheap. Oh, I thought there was like a – Yeah, it was the currency. Oh, okay. Yeah. I thought you were trying to tell me. I like the idea.

I feel like if you're in a chastity cage and you get out, I guess I would be in it for the wrong reasons. I'd want you get out, I mean, I guess, you know, I guess I would be in it for the wrong reasons. I'd want to get out of there. Yeah, yeah. Thank God I can pee now. Tentacle. You know?

Yeah. Oh, man. They got some for ladies and it's a pile of octopus tentacles that you can rub your cooter on. Hmm. Uh. Uh. Yeah, you know, here's the thing, man.

I think I'd rather have my kid be addicted to heroin. I'm sorry. That's mean. How about this? How about this? This is a guy who wants to get better at sounding. For those who don't know, that's where you put metal rods into your wiener.

Wondering where y'all are in your quest in sounding. Tips, techniques, lubes, et cetera. I'm currently sounding daily up to a 10 millimeter. Plateaued at 10 for now. Jesus. Jeez, dude, 10 millimeters? 10 millimeters. That's a centimeter, isn't it?

Yeah, I think so. Hold on. Because I have a 10 millimeter socket wrench I was just using, and that... That's a... I believe a centimeter is 10 millimeters. 10 millimeter. Oh, my God, dude. No.

This guy is like, why did I plateau at 10 millimeters? I don't know. Maybe... I hate to say it. Maybe you... Maybe that's as floppy as your hole can get. Imagine. People are saying. Imagine you go over to your buddies.

Someone I knew was using the Sharpie marker and paintbrush handles and fingertips, which were slightly bigger than that. Start out small and work your way up. He enjoyed being watched and dominated into stretching him out. Yeah, people are saying he's using the wrong lube, and that's why his penis hole can only get a centimeter wide. Imagine your buddy. I mean, I don't know.

Maybe. Comes over to your house man and a bunch of nine millimeter rounds fall out of the end of his dick i'm sitting here looking at 10 mil rounds and nine mil rounds and i'm like there's no way like there's no way that would go pretty rough yeah i closed out of that tab. I think that's enough for me. Yeah, I think I'm good.

And I think that that's the end of the episode. Yeah, well, thank you guys. I'm glad we didn't have an ad on this one. Yeah, I'm glad. Now, there's no way that they would let us do anything anymore with them. Well, thank you guys for listening. It's been another wonderful week with you guys. If you are still tuned in.

And if you like this, hey, show all your friends who aren't really familiar with this kind of stuff and then tell them, hey, check this out. It's a great episode to start on. Thomas tries to make a parody song that's only names of vegetables and then they try and figure out if what vegetables are

and they talk about being fat and stinky and ruining their lives and then they talk about dildos for like 40 minutes. The kind that lay eggs into your butt. Yeah. So thank you guys for tuning in. This has been Pendejo Time. If you're listening, patreon.com slash pendejotime gets you $5 a month,

gets you an extra episode every week. Audio, $10 a month, gets you five bucks a month gets you an extra episode every week audio 10 bucks a month gets you all that plus um a video episode every month uh right now we're also putting out a free one a free video episode every month so check that out on youtube and if you like what you see give us a 10 bucks if not hey that's okay fair. Thanks for checking it out. And for $1, you can get access to our Discord, which all the higher tiers also get you that. But, you know. If you just want to spend a buck and come fucking bark with the big dogs,

that's what it'll cost you. One American US dollar. All right. Bye. Bye.