Pendejo Time - strip club reviews 2

Episode Date: November 30, 2023

throwing it back by popular demandSupport the Show.

Hello! Hello! Brian. Hi! It's me, SpongeBob! Hi! I'm SpongeBob and I'm Patrick from the show. Yeah, well, I figured...

Did you like my SpongeBob impression and Patrick impression? Yeah, they were super spot on, man. Hi, I'm Steven Universe. I've never watched the show, but this is probably how he talks. Yeah, I think so. I think that is pretty accurate. Is the guy's name Steven Universe? I think it's...

Is it Steven's Universe? Or is it his world? I don't know. That's one of those like... Steven Universe. That's one of those like adult therapy cartoons. I don't... I don't think I've ever actually watched it.

Steven's Universe. Steven Universe. Steven Universe. Her name is Rebecca Sugar. Got it. Hello. My name is Rebecca Sugar. Got it. Hello. My name is Rebecca Sugar. Yeah, thanks for coming in to Cartoon Network.

I hear you got a really great TV show to pitch for us. This is my friend Amethyst. Pearl. Connie. Oh, it's more than one of you. Okay, great. Garnet. Oh. Lapis Lazuli. Garnet. Oh.

Lapis Lazuli. You have Jewel. White Diamond. Precious Ruby names. Okay, great. And Steve. Yeah, thanks for coming by, Rebecca. White Diamond, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Lapis Lazuli, and Steve.

That's Mrs. White Diamond, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Lapis, Lazula, and Steve. That's Mrs. White Diamond, Amethyst, Lapis, Lazula, Pearl, Amethyst, Garnet, kind of Steve. Just kidding. That would be silly if that's what the show is about, but it's not. And we're here in the real world with Pendejo Time, bringing real world news to you every day breaking jake what's the new breaking news um so we're very close to achieving full-blown peace in in the middle east wow forever um it's you know been a pretty historically tumultuous area for a lot of

different reasons probably like for for for two or three different reasons. Very complex reasons. But we've been doing the work. We've been listening and learning and we're getting pretty close to having full-blown peace there. And I even hear that if we get it before Friday, they're going to give us all a pizza party.

That's awesome. For all of our hard work. And I'm really looking forward to that because you know me. I love pizza. You love pizza. Yum, yum. Jake the Pizza Man. Yum, yum.

Jake the Pizza Man. Get that pizza. Here's Jake. The pizza party thing is is awesome i remember i think we should i when people are like oh i work all day and you know and and like capitalism you know you do your manager awards you with a pizza party instead of a raise be grateful you know what i mean free pizza is awesome and you shouldn't fucking you shouldn't want like a better paying job to be completely honest you know what i mean like people yeah people have gotten so spoiled um you shouldn't want like better hours or like better benefits or anything like your manager went and got that pizza for you. You know? Like, he spent his money and his time to go get you pizza for you guys

working so hard, you know? I don't know. I know it's not a popular opinion, but I really feel like, you know, we should be more mindful and be more grateful when our bosses, like, really work hard to, like, reward us for the hard work that we put yeah i was a pizza at my last job and what people don't tell you is that if um you have too much sauce on you sometimes like you don't get crispy right yeah it's kind of like almost like a like a doughy mess you know yeah life can be a doughy mess sometimes um you know i mean just recently jake killed a woman with his car and that was a

real doughy mess yeah i mean honestly it was kind of a misunderstanding she had a misunderstanding with the front of my Nissan Altima. Absolutely. And a lot of people, you know, the world's filled with misunderstandings. Sorry, I am sitting here. It would be funny to catcall a woman right after you hit her with your car. She just flies over the top. Hey, nice rear end. Hey, looks like we got into a bit of a fender bender,

but I was wondering if I could bend you over. Yeah, I think I just got into a phoned or boner. I think my penis is hard after I hit you with my fucking car. Damn, shawty. You okay not being able to walk and shit? Damn, girl. Damn. Damn, one of your shoes flew off.

You got nice-, girl. Damn. Damn. One of your shoes flew off. You got nice ass feet. Shit. Damn, girl. I wish you still had toenails. It's like standing over like the EMTs are there. Cops are there. Damn.

One of both of your shoes flew off. You got some nice ass toes. Damn. Damn, girl. You got some broad ass toes damn damn girl you got some broad shoulders i'm surprised you didn't take out my car damn girl you got fucking a lot of chest hair you got a fucking you got a heavy set jawline damn girl anybody ever tell you you look like my aunt she's like hey listen i don't i don't maybe maybe there's a language barrier i don't be speaking that type She's like... Hey, listen.

Maybe there's a language barrier. I don't be speaking that type of shit. What language is that? I'd be nervous to hit a lady with my car, I think. I don't think I'd be too nervous. It's not a big deal. It's not really all that hard. You know what I mean?

I feel like if you hit a woman with your car, you have to stop and say what's up. But if you hit a guy with your car, it's like a little suspect to hang out, check up on him and stuff. Oh, you're saying it's a guy? Past like, you good? You good? Yeah. Yeah, smashing into a guy with your car.

Like, you know, call 911. Hey, easy, bro. Look, man. I don't get down like that. I can't be caught with you. You don't get money like I do. Yeah, oh, you're asking, you want another man to give you a ride? That's a little suspect.

You were trying to read me some Some funny You had a review of some sort You wanted to show me Oh I was looking at strip club reviews again Oh nice This is by Giovanna Oh hell yeah let's go

Giovanna in Savannah Georgia This is a review of Peaches of Atlanta. Cheap-ass, ghetto-ass, lame-ass club. Owner is a cokehead that sits in the office all night and stalks his dancers and customers while he snorts powder at all night. Rats in the kitchen. Roaches be crawling around when you trying to dance.

80% of the dancers look like they do coke with the owner. Roaches be crawling around when you trying to dance. 80% of the dancers look like they do coke with the owner. Save yourself. Save yourself. Save yourself. Peaches of Atlanta is a pretty dope ass. I like that name. That's a good... It's on 779 Ralph David

Abernathy Boulevard. Thanks for putting them all blasts like that. That's awesome. Hey, the legal name of the owner of this business is fucking... They got three and a half stars on Yelp. That's not bad. Not bad for a strip club, I feel like. That's not too bad bad for a strip club i feel like that's not too bad that's pretty good lena left a one-star review because it took too long for her wings to get to her

well that's very funny to go to a strip club and like i remember um some of the guys that I worked with, the job, big fucking plastics plant I worked at. Hey, listen, bro. I'm not playing with you. They got dope-ass fucking prime rib at Show Palace. Honestly, bro, I don't even go to see the girls. They just got good meat. I feel like if you're eating any type of beef at like a strip club in South Houston,

you deserve what happens to your gastrointestinal tract. Yeah. Oh, here's a good one. Shout out to the one, the only show palace in beautiful South Houston, Texas, the city that I'm from, right down the road where I grew up. In beautiful Southeastern Texas, the city that I'm from, right down the road where I grew up. Not the best, but better than a lot of the, ahem, upper class places. These dancers are more than willing to go above and beyond than those plastic stuck ass dancers.

It's above and beyond me. Here's a review. This is for Flex Spas Atlanta.anta okay this review is by jeffrey oh fuck where did jeffrey go god damn there's so many of these reviews one star this place is an absolute dump the owner is a creepy and tries to suck you off every time you go. And after so many times of you rejecting him, you will get banned until you agree to put out. Ew, gross. Oh, dude, I wish I could fucking show you this. Okay, so this review comes with a video. He's a local guy or considers himself a local guide.

I wonder, let me check what LLC's got reviews for. I will get back. I'm going to circle back around in just a moment. Let's see reviews. Okay. So he's written 95 reviews of 16 photos. My baby girl, Stephanie, the best. Better keep your hands off of her

winking with tongue out emoji. And then it's a front facing camera video of him just staring into the fucking camera for three seconds. There she is. Okay, it's the girl. That's probably not great. That's not great.

My number. Then it's the guy. My number. Then it's the guy's phone number. Top guys all. Text me ASAP. I send my body. Please, I want suck dick ass dicks, please. It's the only review this guy has ever left on EL. That's so sick.

I'm not going to say the name because I don't think that's something. I don't think that's something. No, that's probably not nice. Yeah. So this man's name is, wow. He's a very Indian man, a very fat Indian man And He has over 200 reviews And 96 pictures

Of each review And they're all of gas stations and strip clubs In and around the Houston area Oh and Oh La Madeline A man of fucking taste His review of Show Palace Please don't come this place stupid place picture of the marquee

oh a video here we go okay yeah it's just of the strip club not bad okay I want to go on my 18th birthday on November 23rd. Will I be able to get in? Reply, you can be 18 to enter. I'd recommend being on prep, though, if you engage in anything. Respect. I mean, if you're going to be doing gay orgies, you should be on prep. Yeah, no, respect.

That makes sense. That's good advice. Probably the only gay sex advice I can offer to teenagers. The only thing I would feel comfortable saying. Yeah, that's not bad. Hey, be safe

out there, kids. One star review from Mr. Uma Nokaya. Went to AutoZone, not this club. There is an AutoZone next to it, because I've driven past this club, I'm not kidding, probably like a thousand times in my life. It's like right around the corner from where I grew up. There's an AutoZ zone next to it,

but literally it says show palace and big ass letters. And it says fully nude girls, like also in big letters. So my question for Mr. Uma and no Kaya, why the fuck, how did you miss the titty bar? It's right there.

Like you can't, I understand being really excited and not, you know what I mean? Like, not, like, you're ready to go to the club. You're ready to see some breasts and ass and butt and tits. But there's a big difference, I think, between, like, going to get a tie rod for, like, a Honda and then going to look at fucking Cooter. Oh, this is nice. This is sweet.

I kissed my girlfriend here for the first time. 10 out of 10 would recommend. Hell yeah. That's awesome, man. Congratulations. Let's see. Swinger clubs. Swinger clubs are,

it's one of those things, you know, you don't want to go to one of those places, but to see the reviews, it's always something, you know? Girls ain't all that unless you like thick-ass hustlers. I do like thick-ass hustlers. Yeah, by damn, I do. I'm a thick-ass hustler myself. Yeah, I've been considered that uh these girls straight up attacked me trying to get me to dance not classy at all one of them even stuck her tongue down my throat while i was answering a text no thanks get me out of here she was obviously on some sort of drug.

I mean... Ah, you know. That's not... I mean, that's probably bad. It's probably bad to get kissed when you don't want to get kissed. But who am I to judge? Let's see you know hello

I like this one guy who introduces himself as I'm a well known local celebrity in Atlanta well known mostly celebrity? What? He spelled it celebrity.

I'm a well-known local celebrity in Atlanta. Celebrity? Is that the whole review? No, no. He said something about the manager and then he says as long as that ass clown works here, I would go to the zoo

and watch wild apes play before I ever set foot in this shithole again ever in my life. This place smells like a nasty cigarette or cigar. Prostitutes and drug dealers are roaming around like wild animals and the bar service is very

slow. Plus they charge you at the door to walk inside this old shithole. I will never return as long as Edgar is a GM. He's a first-class asshole. True story. Signing out, Donsky. Damn, that guy. He's a local celebrity.

Yeah, as a local Atlanta celebrity, you need to take care of your high class fucking Patrons Here's one from Mr. Arfi Marcella Lowercase When you All caps Get out Smell your shirt

It smells like stink No exhaust Exhaust But it's spelled E-X-H-O-U-S-T No exhaust Let me see No Exu'st

I'm not going back That's That's dark Pure scammers and deceptions Oh the women here They tell you lies What Some of these are like

Weirdly poetic For no reason Like obviously You get the one The ones that are just, you know, damn, she ripped me off. Oh, the women here with their curves and their steely looks and their deception. Fucking, okay, Hemingway. You went there to see tits and ass. Smoky, racist, bad employee attitudes, small drinks, mediocre music music nothing to like except the cougars

sounds like my kind of place honestly i look smoky racist it's not bad this is a lady named poria it's spelled p-O-O-R-I-A. Poria. Securities are so rude, they kick you out for no reason to let other people in. Is this the way you want to make money? Really? It's a bullshit. It's a bullshit. Poria says it's a bullshit it's a bullshit oh that's awesome oh man okay

I'm not gonna say I can't look I recognize the person who left this review. We went to high school together. No.

Oh, my God. I don't want people to look into this. But yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's fine. They said something akin to girls will do anything you want to do here. I'm pretty sure this guy's married, but we will keep going. We'll not look into that one too much.

I got a dance from a Puerto Rican bitch named Elizabeth. She was so beautiful it was crazy. Nice. Nice. Let's see. This place sucks. All the girls are ugly and don't have any flavor to they self. Flavor to they self.

Some of them even look like crackheads. Don't waste your time and money in here. Hell yeah. Okay, and this person's profile on Google review is of their baby New born baby That's badass Oh man I think I I recognize this guy

I like this Oh yeah You know him This guy he's only reviewed a local strip club and subway I don't know why it's so funny he only is strip clubs no he reviewed the one strip club close to where we grew up and also Subway, the chain. Oh, that's badass. That's badass.

That combination of... In my mind, I like to think that he went to the strip club and then got hungry and then reviewed both of them. No, they were in different towns. Oh, that's smart spread yourself out then that's good

so i had four percent on my phone texting my girlfriend back and they took my phone in parentheses i was kind of drunk in parentheses i swear to god they charged me 40 for a bag wait till you 21 and go somewhere else uh from uh mr randy was promised male dancers in here was looking for some top but i'll say the free buffet was good don't skip out on that easy mac with the fucking number one emoji, the finger. Looking for some topping, got some mac and cheese is

not a bad deal. He did leave five stars. Look, if you're interested in getting your penis sucked and that doesn't happen, but you do get some Easy Mac out of it, it's not bad. Yeah, not bad. He can do a lot worse. Oh, for sure

in terms of clubs go let's see here question is this a diverse club with dancers of many different ethnicity answer yes not many Asians though

or no majority white or fair skinned women with the occasional mixed race. Oh, man, that's awesome. These girls are rejects from hell. Girls there need to know when to stop with the butt injections. It's just fucking gross.

Rejects for mail. This guy, $1,200 in four hours, maybe five dances. I've not been to a club like this in years. Complete con job. Avoid this place at all costs. He spent $1,200. And he got four dances. Dude, how do you do that?

How many drinks? That's so badass. Here's one from Clarence. Me and my two homies had a fucking blast here. We brought a cooler full of ice, Patron, Syrah, Crown, and beer. Also gum for fresh breath

and cigs for chilling. Stayed in the place for six hours. The girls would stop by, talk, dance, drink, smoke cigs with us. They would also bring some of their drinks from their own locker room and do shots with us. We sat close to the stage so they could come

over before or after their onstage performances. They were loose enough to dance, cool enough to party, and wild enough to get naked. One chick even took her shoes off. What do you fucking mean, you stupid piece of shit? All in all, we spent $200 to $300 each. Good stuff. The fucking shoe. What do you mean?

Like, one chick even took her shoes off. It's a fucking ass naked club. Oh, my God. All right, Clarence has got my number one spot so far. Here's an awesome five-star review. Paige the bartender is freaking awesome. She has the most creative ideas making drinks I have seen, and she seduces me every time with her deep blue eyes.

Then the rest of the package. And the girls are tens. Awesome time every time I go. Nice. That's badass. Let me see here. Okay, we're going to fucking newest. Wait, I wanted lowest.

Let me see. Club is old as hell and smells old too. Two girls are half decent. Some look like they have bullet wounds. That's crazy. That's so badass, dude. Oh, hell yeah, dude. I love that.

Some of them look like they got bullet wounds. Oh, man. $40 that. Some of them look like they got bullet wounds. Oh, man. $40 for VIP. Are you kidding? Dude, that's cheap. What do you mean? I don't really go to strip clubs. VIP, I mean, it sounds like maybe at least $100, man.

Jesus Christ. That's awesome. All right, what else we got? I think I've exhausted my fucking... That was the Uncensored Club. The Google reviews are sometimes not as entertaining uh as the fucking here's an awesome way to start a strip club review may may not too hot on this place but in fairness it was monday night

paid for vip and should have just saved the money let's see here this just says the place for gay people question mark as a single male is it possible to have an MFM experience here this club has a bunch

of negative reviews because they don't let girls in without a male escort I've seen a bunch of negative reviews because they don't let girls in without a male escort. I've seen a lot of that, yeah. Let me see. I'm trying to look at some of these Q&As. Is this for swingers only or is it BDSM?

I'm afraid to read the BDSM reviews. Is this place legal? Hell yeah. Here's a... So the review was, Seriously, we'll scam you out of your money. Unbelievable. This place is so unethical, it's crazy.

The business owner responds, Hello, Max. Just like we told you on Google, we are not known for scramming our guests. Oh, I think... Fuck, this lady wrote a goddamn book. Yo, these people look normal as hell. This is the most normal-looking couple I've ever seen in my life.

What the fuck? Okay, hold on. I don't even know if this is funny. It's just long. My husband and I finally made it out to the pendulum club, something we had been thinking about for a while. We have tasted the rainbow, if you will, in our home club. Okay.

In another lifestyle club, but TPC takes the muffa cake. This is a white woman, and she spelled it M-U-F-U-H-H. The muffa cake. I feel like the glamour girl strip club next door was placed there by god himself and my fingers are crossed that jesus adds a waffle house in the empty lot of jason to panchel once inside a cute little spitfire and a santa santa outfit explained the membership forms color-coded sexplanation system and collected a whole bunch of months of money let me see uh a man who can only be described as a rich man's gary bucey was spinning sweet jams atop a plywood platform made for a king the no panty night theme was well

received and tied in nicely with the zone derotica annual christmas blowout in all caps not looking forward to what that means um let me see here saw a cute cowboy making out with his lady i think i've seen them at bass pro shops uh watched an older couple enjoy a little yum-a-lingus. Jesus Christ. For a bit until another round of Americans walked into the private suite. Yum-o, faux fucking show. The next few hours were spent walking back and forth from the dance floor to the voyeur room. Crowd was older.

Think the dress barn. Not forever 21. Very diverse. Oh, my God, Thomas. This place is very diverse. Think Pope not raising gains jesus christ god damn oh my god uh i did see someone wearing a reagan 1980 shirt here mostly older crowd i like beef jerky as much as the next guy, but Jesus Christ. Three stars. This.

Nice. Oh my God. Here's what I didn't like about TPC. my god uh here's what i didn't like about tc uh tc uh tpc single men exclamation point trust me we're fine with single guys but we were led to believe they wouldn't be allowed in the playroom without an invite i don't like they called the playroom there was no security or rules posted

and the single men were like mosquitoes in the playroom they mostly followed etiquette asking permission for things and just watching when the curtain was open but if that's not what you're looking for we don't believe that there won't be single men in the back playroom we never saw anyone around to change the sheets in the beds when people finished or even found extra sheets to change it oh j Christ. No, thank you. So there's etiquette. This is a swingers club, I guess. What the fuck? This place sounds like jail. The chairs in this place were made of

twisted wrought iron. Jesus Christ. Worst part is, single men everywhere following couples around like fucking rapists. They might as well bring in homeless people. Jesus Christ, man. Oh, you know what's funny is I ended up on the exact same club you did is it the pendulum club yeah I guess they have more than one location

no I ended up at the Houston one I was clicking around I was in the Fort Worth area and it got pretty depressing so I was moving around I'll go to Dallas let's see

Spearmint Rhino that's looking promising So I was moving around. I'll go to Dallas. Let's see. Spearmint Rhino. That's looking promising. Let's see. This place is a ripoff, and the strippers are nothing but a ripoff. They will try to rip you off. I like a man who gets his point across. Big negative for this club. It's far too small for what

goes on. For the square footage, imagine 250 people on a packed dance floor having sex. Now imagine one of those people didn't wear deodorant. Now imagine 10 didn't. Now imagine instead of deodorant, we're talking naughty body parts with smell. Yeah, no.

We love sensual sexy, but this is more of trucker sexy. Sex is allowed anywhere, which is cool if that's your thing, but also stinky, sweaty, not appealing to watch in most cases when people are not up to par with their hygiene nor their physical fitness.

Came with a party of six and had a waitress who told us her problems for an hour until we left. Not the way I wanted to spend my one night a month out. That's awesome. That's so badass. Let me see.

Okay. Man, these people write books on this shit. I went there for a buddy's bachelor party, and I am not opposed to strip clubs, but this one went too far. They offered to allow us special services involving touching and such, and prices started at $75 and went up depending on the service she provided. I was quite offended and told her I didn't come here for that,

and she moved on to the next chump. I do not recommend this place simply because the girls might be pretty but not worth the legal trouble you could get into no that's that's tough every time i go i come to the d you know i am coming to the rhino uh yeah um this place got a sibian never seen one before in person uh review was three stars description good that's good nice uh let me see here uh let's see fucking more pornography um i'm seeing a lot about the wrought iron chairs i think maybe they need to get that taken care of um let me see all right i think i've exhausted my TC fucking B here.

The Night Game. Interesting. Yeah. Let's take a look and see what people are talking about. The Night Game. Accepts Apple Pay. That's nice. Let me see all 15 questions.

Is there a dungeon? Okay. This is a review by Alex G. Very good. This Rhino is by far my favorite club in the state of Texas. The girls are so hot and friendly. I took a couple girls to VIP and we partied until

5 a.m. Best $30,000 I've ever spent. Wait. $35,000? It might be him. $35,000? Did it say $3,500 or $35,000? $ 35 30 000 i've ever spent oh this is the only review he's ever left on yelp 30 000 gonna take a guess here gonzalez that's so awesome Gonzalez.

That's so awesome. Dude, $30,000 in a night? You have to be getting married. Yeah, no, that's tough. Like, that's a wedding, dude. That's a wedding. Yeah, that's a nice wedding. That's tough. This place makes uh stupid rules here pasties for women and men

three question marks uh oh lifestyle okay so they're called lifestyle clubs i'm not sorry i'm not a swinger i don't know what any of these mean i don't think these things mean um they this place has wet wipes don't see that a lot that's nice uh let's play okay edm oh god it's not a review it's a picture i don't know what i was expecting okay everybody's complaining uh here's an uh review by unhappy wife okay apparently this rates five stars my husband was there with a vendor that is trying to get his business paid 400 for a lap dance for him.

What the heck? What do you get for 400? I heard he has been bragging that it was amazing. He has no idea I know. Asshole. You know how mad you gotta get your wife for her to make a Yelp account? It says unhappy wife.

It's the only review she's ever left. She probably has another account because I have a feeling, you know, you know, I have a feeling this isn't the only review she's left. She seems very fluent in Yelp speak. A question for

Centerfolds in Houston. Where did my beautiful poison disappear to? What? Christ. Some shit you asked your evil lab tech friend. From Delilah. My daughter Emily works here. Stage name name kitten pussy

Okay I think this is fake I hope it's fake That's not too bad This is just a picture of a lady's leg No other text to support it Or to make Question from Bob N How are the lap dances? One answer by PB No other text to support it or to make. Question from Bob N.

How are the lap dances? One answer by PB. Maybe peanut butter. I don't know. Very, very expensive. Be careful. I got taken for close to $8,000 in a couple hours. Jesus Christ.

Oh my God. That's not good. 8,000. I mean, 30 is the number. He said later in the review that he got drugged by a dancer and then robbed. Oh well, that'll happen sometimes, I guess. This place is a car theft trap. My car was broken into while being parked right in front of one of this

establishment. The owner tells me it's not a real camera and it hasn't worked for years. Security staff admitted how much theft occurs on this property over and over again. They're apparently in collusion with the staff and steal cars. Spend your money elsewhere if you want your property safe. Alright, I'm going to Swinger Clubs in Miami.

Very good. Very good. Let me know what you find. Gary G. We travel all over the US And this club is our worst experience yet You must disrobe And put your stuff in a locker

Before you can enter the play area I wanted to wear my sexy lingerie It's so weird And very inconvenient to put your clothes on To go get a drink We are young and love a party club So we were down with loud music, but this was so loud it prevented us from meeting any couples,

which is the whole point. Nice. I like that. I mean... Let me see. Good morning, Yelpers. Last night, my friend and I went to Centerfolds, at least to the front door.

Then the rude cashier told us when we got to desk that we weren't dressed properly, which in doubt we were. I'm a full Asian male, and my buddy is African. This is relevant because the bouncer looked at my buddy, and I quote, you know you ain't supposed to be in here. I asked him why they are being racist, You know you ain't supposed to be in here.

I asked him why they are being racist and all you get is a shrug. Terrible that some white folks can't grow up. I am furiated. Not because we didn't get in, but because we were judged by the color of my skin. God damn. Do not go. You feel guilty and have a guilty conscience and don't want to lose your wife or girlfriend. That can happen that night and Jesus convicts while you're there.

Damn, that's good. That's badass. That's up there. Let's see. The waitresses won a wrongful termination lawsuit a couple of years ago age discrimination so now they can't get fired result terrible service with horrible attitudes

I mean hey you know everybody's got to get it how they live I guess it went bad very quickly with Morgan let me see here It went bad very quickly with Morgan. Let me see here. Oh, no, he's just getting ripped off.

Okay, so this broad threw up all over my special spot, you know, and so this worried me, right? So I went to the doctor, and he said, I got AIDS in my booty hole, you know what I mean? That's not real. Anyway, I would again every night. That girl got big titties, yo. P.S. That bitch gave me her number and we bounced on the spot. She only charged $10 for a good night, bro.

Lamal, LOL, haha, haha. Even if that one is fake. My smoking hot Caucasian wife and i also caucasian went to miami velvet for the first time on friday september 4th 2015 this is a very long review the place did fill up nicely by 10 p.m but amazingly no one had sex my wife blew me on a couch on center stage And we might as well have been invisible Hell yeah Oh man that's awesome

Let's see Okay no I'm getting to some Nitty gritty stuff here Cause this is a long We left the bar after the blowjob And went and tapped another single guy For another threesome This time when we left the door open it filled with single men and they were fairly

pushy and insistent at six foot and 250 pounds of muscle I did not get any back talk when I told him to step back and I closed the door I did forget to lock it and I had a problem later with people actually trying to force their way in until I stood up and they saw my bicep size and split i say this only to warn guys lock the door or be huge after the threesome which was also good with a great guy we again walked the club and still found that we were the only ones having sex anymore we've been there for three hours now we've tapped one more single guy for a third threesome and again had a good experience jesus christ uh this one it's just short but uh i very funny at least to me music

in that place was weird i think it was instrumental royalty-free versions of pop songs. Which, like, why? Why? Like, I guess, unless they're filming shit in there. Let me see here. I don't care you got ripped off.

Age range, 55 to 75. Very good. Alrighty, moving right along. Okay, I think I've exhausted this one. Let's go on down to the Mile High Club. Let's take it. And let's look at it.

And let's see what people are saying. See one question about the Mile High Club. Okay, not worth the fuck. Hello. Hello. hello my flight was late and missed my connecting flight this is the only place that serves drinks and i was interested in the entertainment uh i'm 41 and no one would pay me to strip that's not how it works I'm 41 and no one would pay me to strip. That's not how it works.

This place is lifestyle heaven. That's awesome. We travel six hours to go here. We've been to lifestyle clubs throughout the southeastern U.S. and have never been to a place that is so nice with a quality couple. Velvet, hands down, has the sexiest clientele anyone can ask for. It's so awesome people publicly put these. I mean, I guess they don't care.

Well, that's what I was going to say is, like, I've been kind of taken aback by it, too. But then it's like, oh, I mean, like, these are swingers and they're like not they're like public swingers or whatever so it's like it doesn't matter that like their legal name and then like the name of their business is like trying to find who doesn't love getting their spot hit yeah well i wonder what the reviews for playmates club are like hmm yeah i'm having a wow Wow. Mostly one-star reviews, it seems. Let's see. We're back. Now we're back on the north side of town.

Maybe things will be a little fancier in beautiful northwest Houston. I don't know, though. Let's find out. I love to check the Q&As. Just to check if anything's worthwhile. There's one in Miami where, like, literally every person reviewing has had thousands of dollars stolen from them. Like, they used their credit card, and then the waitress just added, like, $1,000 to their tip and was like, eh, they won't notice. One person got their credit card stolen and then also the

business itself also stole from them. Oh, like the strip club? Yeah. The strip club added thousands of dollars in charges and then also somebody at the strip club stole their card. Went here yesterday for fight night.

What? It's a sex club. Yeah, that was it. Went here yesterday for fight night, got ripped off. That's funny. I guess because, I mean... I'm trying to, what does a strip

fight night at a strip club look like? Like, are they showing UFC, or do the girls fight each other? Drugged and scammed out of $16,000. If you've ever seen the movie Hustler, I was one of those guys. If you ever seen the movie Hustler, I was one of those guys. Drugged and then my credit cards maxed out.

They had a fingerprint reader. How? I can't tell you four different cards they tried to run. Luckily, only one went through. They ran one over ten times all over $5,000. They had my phone because card company texted twice on two transactions and they responded yes to the charges. They then signed the receipt and added a $3,000 tip on both transactions.

If this happens to you, contact Sergeant Hyde from the Houston Police Department. Oh, I called the next day and talked to management about the incident telling them I would never spend that kind of money just because I'm not that type of guy. They said they get guys saying that shit all the time. Hey, I'm not that type of guy, bro. I ain't coming in there spending that kind of money.

Yeah, we've heard that before, pal. It kind of does seem like this guy blacked out and spent $16,000. He's trying to do the old, it was fraud type deal. Respecto. I'm not at a strip club, but every now and then you call a little bit of fraud on a purchase you made. Just got back from the emergency room. From Luke. Just got back from the emergency room and found out I had been drugged at this club.

Well, maybe these guys are not lying. Waitress and dancer keep texting me. Now I know why. My God, dude. waitress and dancer keep texting me now i know why my god dude so this guy got drugged and robbed there let's see great breakfast dude if you're eating breakfast at a strip club fucking straight up kill yourself spent 400 on a semi-private dance and she didn't even take her top off uh place is cool it won't leave an everlasting impression on me but it's not bad uh let's see

saving for the perfect girl. Okay. The only star was for the stripers and the bartenders. From Big James. You can get sloppy toppy here or these awesome blue candies from the dancer with the scar on her belly. They offer other relaxing spa services as well. Great place for a big release.

I want to try the pink candies next time. The scar on her belly. Bro, this fucking C-section scar. Jesus Christ. I hate this place. They robbed me.

They took my jacket and my key was in my jacket. Also, monster headphones was in it. The manager told me, My sorry, I have nothing to do with you. Live your phone number and I will call you tomorrow. Maybe someone will return you jacket. And he didn't call me. I call him and I went to the club more than three times to ask about my jacket.

But he is like, What you want? column and i went to the club more than three times to ask about my jacket but he is like what you want i tipped the girl who is the one who his jacket told her before i get in and she stole me what can i do if someone knows please help it was one day before 2013 new year what the fuck he just it was like he didn't even have money in his jacket. That's fucked. He just couldn't find his jacket. Chicas Locas. I'm very interested.

That's a great name. Chicas Locas. Damn, the fajitas look pretty good in this bitch. We are the premier Latin gentleman's club, stunning Latin women from around the world to entertain you and a very accommodating bilingual staff

seven days a week we all are dollar draft beers as well as one dollar highballs until 9pm plus free lunch buffet damn dollar beers

three stars went here once bought a drink and looked at girl okay hey that's what you get what you came for brother yeah good place to get a burger with my friends okay uh uh uh yeah these people look normal uh i get i don't know i mean maybe i'm disrespectful because what is what am i supposed to what are they supposed to look like i mean to me they all look like

goblins and shit or they should and then you see like a completely normal couple maybe they even have a kid like in the fucking google thing my friend pepe suggested i meet him here one night. Well, I got there pretty early, but then I found out he was caught in traffic. So he tells me to go ahead and get started. Cool with me. So when the waitress asked me what I'd like to order,

I responded half rotisserie chicken with green sauce. She has a completely... Go ahead. Sorry. No, you got it. $40 admission only to see the type of females That got the 3 for 1 deal In Dominican Republic

Plus they have no rhythm Whack The women are all fat Another example of the country going downhill Watch out guys Don't lose your money And don't take something unwanted home to the wife Not worth it for a heavy average looking piece of ass

Don't let them near your phone or your cards And don't let them see your wife's name on your phone watch your back and watch who's watching your phone that shit won't end when you leave the club I'm serious watch your back I went to the club last night with some friends and my friend got a lap dance from Kimberly

and she bleed all over his pants it was no oh my god hell yeah No. Oh, my God. Hell, yeah. That's good. If you like them thick, this is the place for you.

Gets two stars from me. Everyone else should avoid it. Don't like the thick ones. Don't like the thick ones. Don't like the thick ones. God damn it. They need better management and better music. The only thing good are the girls, but they aren't happy here. Okay. If I was okay uh if i was passing by i might say hello to the pretty ladies

other than that this place sucks that doesn't make much sense uh i don't care about covet at all but the girls here will steal from you okay that was mid-pandemic dude it's fucking ballsy to go get breakfast strip club buffet mid-pandemic. Let's see. Hmm. Hmm. Such a sad decline from the old Flash dancers. This place is small, and although the physical infrastructure is new,

the dancers are not as hot as the sexy Eastern European she-wolves in the old Flash Dancers. It's a totally new crew, even down to the bouncers and bartenders. Don't even bother to come here. I will be looking for where the dancers in the old Flash Dancers have moved to. If there were a zero, I would choose that rating. Unfortunately, one star is the lowest. By a man named Urban. Urban?

That's good. This place sucks. They wouldn't even give my friend free cover for being active military with a military ID. They must not like Americans. Hell yeah. That's awesome to go into a strip club and try to pull a military card. That's badass. It's the wildest strip club I've ever been to.

Okay. Let's see. Greatest place on earth, I tell you. The ladies are beautiful and oh so sweet. They look like Brazilian porn stars. It's like heaven on earth, I tell you. The ladies are beautiful and oh so sweet. They look like Brazilian porn stars. It's like heaven on earth. His picture is him graduating from college, I think, or high school. I'm holding his diploma.

Oh, man, it's cherry on top. All right, let me see. I think I've... How much more we got left for chicas uh let me see uh they choked a guy to death here one of them is facing murder avoid if you don't want to get murdered uh whoa that's tough stuff oh man god damn it god damn it what uh i was kicked out of this club because the employees thought i was masturbating God damn it. What?

I was kicked out of this club because the employees thought I was masturbating. I was not. My pants were just messed up because I had just gotten a dance, but that was it. I wasn't masturbating. I was sitting down enjoying the ladies when these two idiots asked me to leave. I left and I won't be returning. Liars. That guy was definitely masturbating. That guy was for sure beating up.

Oh, this is nice. Thomas, you'd be interested in this. This place has a closed grip lat pull down machine next to the pole. Dude, fuck yeah. Oh my god dude that is so sick Oh With a response to her own review A close grip tricep Press down memory's a little hazy

Had to ask my boyfriend Badass That's so awesome Dude putting a fucking putting weights next dude that is a genius business idea most of the girls are grimy looking there are one or two that are cuties i got ahead from this one blonde and some crack ass coke at least i popped in her mouth oh my god oh my god no jesus christ my girl works here and they treat her better than her last two jobs got yanked on in the back from a girl named cheek uh c C-I-J-C.

Cheek. C-I-J-C. Sorry, I misplaced it. Ended up costing me $500. Worth it. Okay. Fine. Okay.

Kick-ass strip club. Very posh. Posh is a nice way to describe a strip club. Okay, I don't want to read about Vivid anymore. Here's the executive club in New York. Let's see. I love all these reviews where they just, like, the accusation is that they, on some of them,

it's like they added $30 to my bill that I don't remember. Like, all right. Yeah, I mean, like, honestly, a lot of this stuff seems like buyer's remorse. Yeah. Average-looking women with bad breath who try to scam you for money. Probably why this place was completely empty on a Saturday night. Stakes were good, though. Stakes are good.

That's nice. Yes, the girls are mega hot, but this is a place to avoid. Organized crime is alive and well here. And these folks know about extortion and ripping guys off. You will be radically overcharged. Wow. This place is like a retirement home for old strippers. This place is like a retirement home for old strippers Girls were old Like almost grandma old

And we were pretty sure at least Can't understand why anyone would go her Or how this place is even open Lol Super strange experience Wish I could give zero stars Oh fuck Strange experience. Wish I could give zero stars. Oh, fuck.

Alright. Interacted with one dancer. She had a black eye and she said it was an allergic reaction to her makeup. She said, I walked in gorgeous and then this happened. Then she talked to me about her three kids and then just left the father of her kids. Hmm.

Clearly a sad life story, but come on. You're a stripper with a black eye. You're not outsmarting anybody, sister. I couldn't even get a fear boner. This place? Yikes. I'd rather go use the complimentary lotion in my room, and I did. Fucking Houston, Texas surely can do better.

I felt like I was in goddamn Arkansas wait brought my husband sorry sorry the guy's name was Adolf and it's spelled a-d-o-l-p-h business manager the owner replies Adolf spelled like Hitler with an F thanks for your feedback in many ways we agree with you there are a lot of strip clubs

and too many dancers that honestly should not be dancing I can assure you we have very strict guidelines in the dances that we hire

the type of dancer you described is definitely not the type we want mingling with our customers we wish you could have pointed this out to us during your visit

and we would have taken care of it Jesus Christ mingling with our customers. We wish you could have pointed this out to us during your visit and we would have taken care of it. Jesus Christ. It's very funny that he just his name was there. Why did you spell it the Hitler way? This guy lost all of his medication here. You know like the medicine boxes that fucking crazy people get? It was like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

Went there a few weeks back, dropped my medicine box in the bar by the strip club. I called and they had it in their possession and they said that I could come get it. I went to go get it and finally gave up. I have medical needs and they don't care. Erroneous. Full house of rageous, lousy, drunk white women with a bunch of tattoos. Also, they call themselves feminists. La Mao.

They call themselves feminists? Oh, my god. I like the setup of this strip club, but tipping every girl that walks past the bar and put their boobs in your face is kind of whack. I enjoy tipping all my money to who I want, but please don't make it a chore. Review by Chow.

Chow? Yes, he has left... He has almost 900 reviews um i hope they're all for strip clubs that'd be cool how bad is a strip club when the girls uh stand around with visible stab wounds and talk to each other but not you oh my god, damn. It's funny when you read these reviews, dude, and in the reviews, they refer to the place as like 15 different names inside of like a three-year span. So I feel like these places get got by the police

and then they just like, you know, like they just give the old facelift and go about their business. Paradise City. Four stars. Good Lord, what a dump. I love it. Very good. Very, very good uh let me see big ron paradise city the grass is green

and the girls aren't pretty here's a review by a woman named love okay i just went on a thursday night not many people there cool but this place is full of bad looking girls they range from just fat to just too old to just bad but there's only one girl that stands out omg this girl is hot her name is carmen she's very sweet and gives the best lap dances when i go back carmen will def be on my list you should add her to yours yours uh from uh shermika w very nice club and location is perfect as for what everybody comes to see dances are okay a variety of mixed race girls sizes colors and shapes some get fully undressed others don't but that's okay on On the two occasions I visit, the ATM was broken and beers are 12 bucks a pot. No, ma'am.

Food is sold outside the club, but it's a regular fat barbecue, man. Nothing special. Okay. Kids, in case you didn't know, there's a strip club in the middle of bushwick no joke this fine classy heineken serving watering hole is for gentlemen from all walks of life

from hassids to shy embarrassed hipster boys that hide in the back but i highly recommend this for ladies night i mean where else can you gawk over Lucite platforms embedded with LED lights and crazy pull skills without having to venture very far? A plus, my dears. It's a bit of a snarky one. One star from Candice. Yes, they hire black girls because it's good for variety, but the manager, in parentheses, Fat Buddha Man man is super

racist he make the faces and all oh my god uh saint little oh just saint james not little saint james i was about to close my laptop just the saint james cab i was about to close my laptop. Just the St. James Cab. I was about to close my laptop forever. Okay. This establishment is nice, but the bouncer at the front door named Andy is a pervert. He sexually harasses all the girls, and if you refuse to have sex with him or give him oral sex, he will not let you inside the club. I refused to have sex with him 15 years ago, and he's still bad about it and refused to let you inside the club. I refused to have sex with him 15 years ago and he's still bad about it and refused to let me inside.

He must get fired and I will be reported. Oh, that's awesome. Oh my God. Easier to get robbed in the Galleria. Oh, man. Ah, old St. James. The church, lol, and oldie, but a goodie. This spot has been around forever.

It was once the go-to spot as far as gentlemen's clubs. Over the years, things have changed, but one thing hasn't. It's the girls. Always beautiful women. Okay, this is actually a good review. It's not funny. It started off strong. What a waste of time. Racially profiled by black bouncers.

If you're white, stay away. Black and Hispanic only accepted. You'll like this one thomas paid 850 for a bottle of cristal and they gave me andre that's so badass like you don't even put it in the bot like you could fake it if you had an old bottle of cristal back there vanessa from the club had sex with my man V, and she gave him syphilis, which I ended up getting. So disgusting. Thanks a lot, dirty bitch. Oh, man.

During the Christmas season, I came here because my ride home had to pick something up from this stripper. If I still had my car, I wouldn't have never came here. That's it. One star. Jose from West Bronx. You'll get a world-class chubby. A lot of dope sisters.

A lot of dope sisters uh let me see here uh no let's see this guy's a lawyer i oh uh people were throwing dollars from the second floor it mixed in with my dollars and the bouncers accused us of stealing not your dollars anymore you fucking moron oh my god let me see here uh drove all the way from pearland place sucks dude pearland's like 15 minutes what do you mean drove all the way. Oh, they refer to this place as the church.

Let's see here. La Bear. Oh, this is the male strip club. Let's go. Thomas, this is your type of place. Oh, nice. Because I'm a guy. Will you guys be open November 29th, this Friday? Have you guys considered building a new location in a smaller town?

I'd like to suggest my hometown of Canyon, Texas. Okay. Yo, absolutely not. This one has pictures. All the men are buff, touchy, and attractive. Well.

I mean, I'd hope so. Yeah. All right, let's, I'm sure you're here looking for reviews on the hot guys, but confession

from Zaina, I'm here for that BLT sandwich. I i mean it's a strip club very magic mike like in my opinion i hosted a bachelorette party here and the girls and i had so much fun i'm super pregnant so my eyes were all over that food menu did i feel raunchy and ashamed for ordering food at a strip club slightly it was my first strip club experience but when you can't drink alcohol and you've been going to sleep at 8 p.m every day you need something to keep you past midnight here's where my night and shining grease the blt came in to save my night so simple yet oh so amazing these

fries were seasoned perfectly this was almost a month ago and i'm still thinking about this blt i talk about it to my husband jesus christ they gave me counterfeit money for change I talk about it to my husband. Jesus Christ. They gave me counterfeit money for change. Hmm. Let's see. Here's a review for a gay sex club. Uh-huh.

One star. This place is an absolutely disgusting mess. It's full of bed bugs and other creepy crawlers. The showers never have hot water. The steam room is full of blood sucking bugs that attach themselves to close out on that one. I don't think I'm finding. Yeah, that's really good. Man, we've been at this for a long-ass time.

Man, time flies when you're having fun. Oh, man. Blood-sucking bugs. Blood-sucking bugs. Blood-sucking bugs. Oh, my God. Oh, that's awesome. That's pretty good. Well, thanks.

Thanks for listening, everybody. Yeah, this has been Strip Club Reviews 2. Yeah, Strip Club Reviews 2. If you like this type of shit, you should head on over to patreon.com slash pendejo time. Toss us five bucks a month. That'll get you access to a backlog

of bonus episodes plus access to the Discord. A lot of cool ass motherfuckers in there. Ten bucks a month gets you access to all that shit plus video episode every month. We're going to start cranking out more of those at the beginning of the year because, know life's looking good uh things are going great uh 50 bucks a month you get all that stuff you don't get anything extra um but you get to be

john wayne gacy and you get to be among really cool guys two guys exactly um we have more sweaters. They've arrived. So if you are not a Patreon, we do have merch exclusive to the patrons. We did another short run. Last one sold out what, Tom? Like fucking... A couple hours. Yeah, a couple hours. So these ones will go pretty quick.

If you are a subbed Patreon, we will be putting that up. What do you think? Like end of this week, early next week? End of this week. Okay. I probably got work off tomorrow, so I'm going to try and get everything ready. Tomorrow I'll put it out on social media, like what time and all that, but I'll have it scheduled to

so you guys can know at least a day in advance exactly when um that link will be active again if you're on the patreon uh that link that i posted to the shirts originally you can you'll be able to click that same link sick and buy shirts from there so that might be easiest i think it's pinned um on the patreon um and if not you know twitter instagram any of that and if you're you know in the discord or on social media and you're i can pin it you're not sure how to buy them like you can dm me or something if you need help it's not a big deal. I'm not that busy of a guy. For the Patreons, I'll pin the post up there. So yeah, more sweatshirts

will be up. They are the original totally our idea Pindejo Time design. And you will love them. They are very comfortable and they make you look strong and they make you look fucking sexy as hell. Recently, Medello ripped off the logo of Pendejo Time,

so we're thinking about selling it. We are currently in litigation. Yeah, thanks, guys. We love you. Goodbye. Goodbye.