Pendejo Time - the birdman

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

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yeah i mean i know like i'm i feel like i'm like 29 28 29 is when you're supposed to like let yourself go i feel like like right right but i mean obviously there's you know there's a lot of fucking um there's like some exceptions to the rule i'm not saying like the vast majority but i feel like late 20s early 30s is when you start to see a lot of guys get the the the punch and kind of just fall apart so anybody that's like obsessively lifting like into their you know like you said into adulthood i think it like i think it can't like to me it's a little like a little past your mid-20s i don't know but yeah anybody doing that i think has to have something wrong with them because like you're either you don't have a child to raise or you're neglecting it to lift weights.

Which obviously if you're doing that, you're probably going to have weird opinions on the world for sure. Everyone jumping in now, I was talking to Thomas earlier about how lifting weights, having a lifting buddy that's cool, that's normal, is such an alien thing to me. Because in the past, I have only had lifting buddies that are supremely out of their minds, like hardcore right wing for whatever reason, and we just kind of exist like two ships passing in the night to like help each other bench press or they're like they're apolitical but they're somehow also still like just psych it's like psychotic and but in a in a weirdly political way i'm not sure how to put it it's like you're into q anon but you don't

like trump i don't know i don't know it's it. And I don't care to get into that whole fucking discussion. It's just whenever I met Alex for the first time, you're like, oh, we lived. I was just like, damn, dude, how the fuck were you? I need to like I guess I just need to find maybe I need to find like a lifting buddy that's not in their 30s. Maybe I just start like lifting with 19 year olds with Jake Paul haircuts. Maybe they can get me some SARMs, like Rad 140 or some shit. Yeah, I feel like I am the weird lifting buddy, though. Like, I don't think...

Good point. Like, I don't... I'll just max out on, like, random Sundays or whatever sometimes. I don't have a... I'm not, like, a, I don't have a, I'm not like a good person to work out with to make, if that makes sense. No,

I mean, it's like, if you do, if you do what I do, you'll get hurt, but also I will get hurt. Like I'm not, like I'm not like a superhuman or anything. I just also get hurt all the time.

Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah. I'll fuck up my shoulder like every day and it's just i had i used to have this uh one of my traps was torn for like a year and every time i would do heavy shrugs it would just just tear back open i'd be like damn like i gotta stop doing these i would just forget man i mean, I just have to set it down. I don't know about tear.

What it felt like was it was tearing. I don't know. I didn't. It wasn't like a massive thing where it was like all purple. It was just like it felt like fibers were tearing apart. And it was the same spot. It got bigger every time. I feel like that's what a tear is.

On a less dramatic scale. I don't know. Yeah, maybe just a crack a we've talked about this muscle crack a crevice yeah chasm we've talked about this in length on the show but like because you and me like our bloodlines like we were sort of just probably tilling some sort of land that didn't grow anything and getting injured every day doing that until we died well we're modern men now but we have bodies bred for that type of living so our brains like evolutionary psychology maybe i don't know we have this thing that drives us to like physical activity that harms us because we can't you know fulfill the prophecy of like just looking out at a fucking barren 30 acres and just going

out there with a backhoe every day to try to make something happen. And then just not. So instead it's like, ah, I'm going to try incline press. My back really hurts today. But I'm going to do it anyway. And I'm going to put a bunch of weight on there that I know I can't lift. And I will lift it stubbornly. Very bad form.

Everything in my body will snap, crackle, and pop. And then when I put it back up, I'm going to be really cool. Like in my head, I'm going to be like, yeah, I'll put that up today. And everything in my body will snap crackle and pop and then when i put it back up i'm gonna be really cool like in my head i'm gonna be like yeah i'll put that up today and everything in my body's gonna hurt on the way home because i'm a fucking moron yeah i love uh just just making a fool of myself in front of all the 16 19 year olds at la fitness they're all just just a bunch of dudes just like like twice my size but like they're all like freshmen in college at tcu or whatever they're just they're just flexing on me whole time they're all making tiktoks they're all making tiktoks they're in like sponsored gear somehow they just you know and it's all right i'm just i'm in my N1 shorts. I'm in my fucking Carhartt shirt. You're not a performer.

You're a workman. That's right. You're not a showman. I got my hiking boots on. And I got a fucking bottle of soda with me or whatever. Four loco and a paper bag. Yeah. And I'm putting up half the weight they are.

And that's all right. I mean, I'm not even. If you're that guy and you're really strong, it's kind of cool, but I'm like – I'm not impressively strong. So it's just like you see me walk in, and you're like, maybe this guy is like a sleeper, you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly, yeah. I just put like 135 on the squat rack.

I'm like, yeah. This is just my warm-up. I'm about to put a 25 on here as well. And then take that for a little bit, and then I'm going to start hurting, and I'm just going to take it off. I'm going to blow my knees out. I'm going to go home in 30 minutes because I got tired. Yeah.

I feel like if you're – especially if you've got, like, a belly on you and stuff and you're at the gym and you're not dressed well, it's like you have – people almost expect you to be strong. Mm-hmm. on you and stuff when you're at the gym you're not dressed well it's like you have you people almost expect you to be strong um like if i see like a mexican dude in his 50s at the gym and he's fat i'm thinking this man can probably bench like 500 pounds exactly yeah yep yeah any uh like big bellied white guys who got like older white guys who got on gear so every other part of their body minus their belly is like two percent body fat somehow like you know i'm talking about like their arms and their legs are like completely corded they have like no body fat there it's, like, in their face and in their stomach. And, yeah, they just hang out on the bench all day,

and they just put up 450 for reps. And you're, like, you're sitting there, and you're like, I kind of want to see if I can do 195 today in your head. And you see him, and you're like, I'm not going to try to share the bench with this guy. He'd eat me. Like, you'd have to take off six plates just to to share the bench with this guy. He'd eat me. You'd have to take off six plates just to get, you know what I mean?

Yeah, it happens. Big belly guys who get on steroids but they don't get on anything that dries them out or cuts them up, that makes them lean. It's a really, it's an awesome look. I think we, this is like in the early days of the show. Trendgut. You don't really have abs. You definitely have them, but it's mostly just

like a stomach. Yeah, you just look like a Hulk. You know? Like a 5'8 Hulk. Yeah. But you're like pink and purple. You're definitely... It's like wife-throwing medicine. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's always funny. I never put two and two together when I was younger. I mean, because I knew what steroids were, but I thought it was stuff that Arnold Schwarzenegger did. I didn't know that, like, dads did it. So, like, I would go to a buddy's place when I played baseball or whatever to, like, you know, fuck around and, like, play catch or whatever. And one of the kids that played on my Pony League team, his dad was this, like, fucking, like, 5'6", 5'7", guy.

But he was, like, a—what five seven guy but was he's like he was like a what are the swole bat or the dwarves and lord of the rings like literally just like like they're like it was like six feet wide i don't know how else to put it and pretty lean but he was very very short and uh i was like oh jim's dad jimmy's dad just works out like he man he must work out like seven hours a day and he definitely did but it wasn't until i was older i was like, oh, Jimmy's dad just works out. Like, man, he must work out like seven hours a day. And he definitely did, but it wasn't until I was older. I was like, dude, my friend's dad was like running. He had to be running like everything. Wind straw, like deep, like all the shit.

All the fucking estrogen, but whatever the fuck. Like, just because he was impossibly huge year round. And impossibly lean, like, just always. And in my head, I was like, oh, yeah, but it's like he was past an age where men are allowed to look like that. Even in your 20s, you don't look like, you know what I mean? Like, there's a point where it stops being viable. So if you're a dad out there and you listen to this and you do steroids that's awesome it's awesome and i do i'm not saying this sarcastically it's very funny to me to be an old man shooting testosterone that can make your heart explode and you are very very

like you've weighed the scales of abandoning your family and widowing your wife and orphaning your or at least you know making your children bastards to just be able to put 50 pounds more up on that bar like you've you weighed the pros and cons you're like steroids are dangerous and i'm getting these from fucking mexico so this shit ain't clinical um and if something goes bad i could die and my wife would be a widow my two sons would lose their daddy but i want to bench press 525 pounds this year and so i'm going to do that and if i die i'll die doing what i loved fucking 600 pounds on my head. And my wife and children will just have to figure it the fuck out, I suppose. Yeah, I feel like it's, to me, it's acceptable if it's for strength. If you want to be a sexy 50-year-old man, though,

I feel like that's dishonorable. Very good point. I feel like, so here's the thing. Here's what makes it sad, all right, is I realized this the other day. You see guys at the gym who are, you know, in their 40s or 50s or whichever, which isn't in the grand scheme of time is not that old. You know what I mean?

You've still got a lot of your life left. But when you see them doing that, and it's clearly like a physique thing and like a getting – Whenever it's like a getting girls thing, it's really sad because the truth of the matter is – all right, and if you're an older gentleman listening to this, I don't mean this in a negative way at all because you probably have a more realistic outlook on life,

but the average woman in her 20s would rather just have a normal guy in his 20s than to ever be with a guy who works out 10 hours a day and is giving himself Captain America-style injections to look like a guy who doesn't exist. Yeah, to look like... Because that doesn't exist yeah because that's not there's not that's not a fucking thing man like a good-looking 50 year old man is just a guy with like a silver beard probably who dresses well and has money that you yeah if you want to be in a like a an attractive older guy i don't know in my head I would probably start with having money with having,

having money. That's it. Money. Yeah. I don't think, I don't think, I think most when, when women want to sit,

when women say they want to date older guys, I don't think they want to date just a guy who's old. No, they don't. Never, never, never, never a million.

Yeah. Actually, actually, no, I have a handful, maybe a handful. Never, never, never. Never in a million years. Actually, no. I have a handful of friends. But it's implied that he's not mentally 22 years old. The general stereotype exists for a reason that if a woman is sucking the dick of a 50-year-old man, it's because that guy has cheese. I have had a couple friends in my life.

Shout out to those girls. Cool. A couple of them. I have had a couple friends in my life. Shout out to those girls. Cool. A couple of them that are, I don't think they listen to the show. But anyway, nice girls who they just love dating old fucking retards. I don't, it's not, they're not super old, but like early 40s. And yeah. 40s um and uh uh yeah and so um you know i'm like oh okay well that makes sense i guess you know uh cool guys funny guys but not rich you know not a retard necessarily in the pejorative but just kind of like guys like oh hey what's up i'm tony and you're like oh hey Tony I'm dating Erica yeah what's up Tony what do you do for a living

oh I uh I mostly like do tile but I'm not doing that right now that's my 44th birthday today and you're like okay and Tony offers you a Zima or something a type of alcoholic drink that doesn't exist anymore um but yes to your your point, typically only money. If you're getting jacked, I kind of derailed you. Or at least being in a position of power in life. You know what I mean?

The average guy who's 50, 60 years old does not have time to be in the gym that much because he has a life. You know what I mean? Yeah, he has grandchildren. Yeah, dude. He's got like a fulfilling family life.

Yeah, very good point. I really want to get with a guy who's at LA Fitness 40 hours a week. And he's 55 years old. Well, also it's like the type of... Because I've seen those guys. It's like when you said a type of guy that doesn't exist, I think you were exactly correct because you're basically just trying to have the body of a dude in his early 20s that works out,

but also leathery and tan. Yeah. Like you're a fucking... You look like a creature. Yeah. Awful. Like your skin's all fucked up up Some of it's starting to sag And like you've definitely had a little bit of work done

Again great I want to fucking just add a little bullet point To what you said You're a 55 year old man You're trying to fuck young girls And you're trying to look Like have the body of you know a younger man if you're getting work done

i'm just like hey man i don't want to i don't want to knock anybody's shine all right i don't want to fucking yuck anybody's yum but i just don't think those guys should be allowed out in public i don't know it's just it's just me because the thing is also is if you're that age and you date a woman your age then you're gonna look you're gonna look great yeah because you put yourself next to a 20 year old girl and yeah you're gonna look silly you're gonna look like a fucking weirdo like if one of us us dated a 19-year-old. I'm only 23, but either of us would look stupid. Oh, it would look so fucked up, dude. Whenever me and Ashley go downtown to the square in San Marcos,

I'm like, why are they? It's weird because I remember being 19 with my fake ID out at the bars in Austin. It was fucking 10 years ago, but that's, you know, whatever. I distinctly remember that time in my life. I don't remember looking that young, but that's because I was in my own body. You know what I mean? But I walk around and I'm like,

what the fuck, dude? You guys, there's no way anybody's buying this, right? But yeah, you're like a grown man. And dude, I've seen seen this i saw this when i bounced um a lot especially when i worked security i didn't need to work security there but it was some hoity-toity cocktail and tobacco lounge in downtown austin i see this shit all the time dude i think i don't know if i've talked about on here before i think i have probably whatever doing a show a little while.

Me and the manager would play. I told you, like, before, if an older woman, if an older man and a young woman walked in, we had to make a quick guess, just straight off intuition. Daddy-daughter date or sugar daddy date. Like, a dad and a daughter, like, you know what I mean? Like, oh, hey, you graduated from college. You know what I mean?

That type of thing. I don't mean, like, a weird daddy you know what i mean like oh hey you graduated from college you know what i mean that type of thing i don't mean like a weird daddy i don't mean that i mean like dad and daughter going out to dinner or whatever we have to guess quickly 99.9 of the time it was some fucking greasy old man just trying to stick his tongue down the throat of some girl who just like needed her car note paid it was very terrible and a lot of sometimes they would talk to me and explain that shit to me when they get really drunk it's like i don't like hanging out with him but he pays my rent and i'm like yeah fucking it was pretty wild like how'd you get into that oh i was seeking arrangements it's it's pretty like like lucrative you know like um like a lot of those guys some of them don't even want to have you know like really anything just want you to come over and talk to them and they're like blah blah blah

i'm like oh okay well like you know how is he or whatever just trying to make small talk she's like oh he's terrible but you know i have a really expensive apartment and i was like hey you know what i'm not gonna like say anything i'm gonna let you i'll let you talk lady because this reason i will never in a million years know what it's like to be a woman because i'm a guy obviously as stating the obvious i can't say i can't i can't say for certain that if i was a girl and 20 years old like if if i had led a completely different life been born a woman i don't know that I wouldn't not do something like, you know what I mean? Like I did a lot of stupid shit as a 20 year old guy,

dumb shit, retard shit, stupid. I can't say for certain that if I was like a girl and I was conventionally attractive, that I wouldn't be like, I mean, what's, you know,

you suck dick for free. I feel like, like the girls do that all the time. They suck. They get with a guy. They like that. he's funny or something And he's broke and has no money, and you suck his dick all day. Not all day You know what I mean like at least twice a week

Maybe whatever the fuck whatever your schedule is yeah, yeah You could squeeze this dick into your fucking schedule you suck his dick and you do that shit for free you might even technically pay to do it because I've been the broke dick before I've been so goddamn broke and I've had girlfriends that pay for free you might even technically pay to do it because i've been the broke dick before i've been so goddamn broke and i've had girlfriends that pay for everything in my life and they suck my dick so i was like ah whatever you know fuck it but anyway i i was like you have this uh maybe it's my upbringing i don't know maybe i have some sort of internalized stuff, like nonsense. No. My intuitive emotional response is revulsion.

Not at the girl, but like I feel bad. You know, it's like you shouldn't be. What's this guy that we used to do? I'll take you away from him. Not that, but some version of that where you're like, you shouldn't be doing this, darling. He don't love you. You get into like dad mode kind of when i hear about shit like that i'm like you don't got to be sucking an old man's dick to live in a studio apartment in downtown austin you but i take that and i realize hey

she fucking knows maybe she knows what she's doing you know you might have done the same shit like i would never suck an old man's dick now. But, I mean, you know, if I had been born in opposite sex, maybe you do. You know what I'm saying? I really let you get out of that one. Yeah, I was trying to. It's so funny. No, it's funny doing the show with you this long and literally having to patch all the holes like a looney tunes character

because i don't want to give you an inch to be like yeah you would you'd suck one now you'd get fucked for a fucking snickers bar no um but just like hearing that and knowing that that goes on like like my intuitive knee-jerk response is like is as i feel bad but then it's like, eh. You know what I mean? I think it's sadder for way older women because my initial reaction

to that is it's funny. Which is worse. It's funny when a college dude is with a 60-year-old woman. That shit is hilarious. It's so funny, dude. He walks into a fucking five-star restaurant, and the guys start fist-bumping him and laughing

and pretending like the woman's not there. That's so much worse. It is. And everybody's like, oh, this guy's getting pussy just because he has money well but the for some reason when the woman does it it's like what a fucking stupid hag oh my god this dumb bitch no it's so old what kind of you know like yeah there is a part of you that's like hey old hey old man like whatever you know you if you got it like that you look like yeah there is a part of you that's like hey old hey old man like whatever you know you if you got it like that you look like shit you're balling but hey big champion like

i think you're a piece of shit but swing for the fences homeboy and then like like you old ass bitch an old lady that like takes care of herself and like has stayed in shape or whatever and has made her money and lived her life is getting dicked down by some fucking rugby player, like sophomore or junior in college. You're like, why didn't you get your life together, bitch? Like, what have you done to yourself? It's definitely wrong thinking, but it is definitely. It's fine.

There's a lot of things I need to change about myself, and that's not towards the top of the list. It's still going to be funny to me. Yeah, you're right, man. You're 100%. Because it's funny in both cases. It's funny to be like a 50-year-old man, and you're like, you know what I need to do? I need to have sex with a girl who my daughter might be friends with on Instagram.

Who has homework to do, but the adult can't have sex with a girl who my daughter might be friends with on Instagram. Who has homework to do but the adult kind. I can't have sex with the ones that have the homework that's of the other kind. That's illegal. I need to fuck a girl who still has homework but the legal homework. Dude, Jeff Bezos' approach to me is among the most funny because he didn't need to get jacked at all. He did that shit for his goddamn self. And then he stole, like, his friend's wife.

Yeah. No, he's fucking that Instagram model. I thought the... I think you're... The... Latina lady? Yeah, she's an Instagram model, isn't she? Yeah, but I think...

I think she was married to one of his friends at one point i'm not sure i'll fact check it but yeah like he like he did that shit on his like he's the richest man in the world he could literally look like gollum and he'd be getting like you know top tier but he just fucking went on his own accord and was like i'm just gonna get on a bunch of fucking trT and get yoked. Dude, you know who married their best friend's wife and it's his fifth wife? I didn't know this about the man. Tony Hawk.

Tony Hawk to me is, I grew up thinking he was like, he was just like a California guy that smoked weed and did 900s. I didn't even think of him as a like a sexual guy and this lasted well into my 20s and then I remember reading an article about him a few years ago it was like Tony Hawk marries fifth wife I was like that's a lot of fucking wives even for a rich guy and I like read about it motherfucker divorces his fourth wife or maybe maybe this is his fourth and it was his third i don't fucking know it's a four or five wives divorces his old lady or she divorces him and then like six months later starts porking his uh best friend's wife which

is something that like imagine you build a life with somebody, dude. You have kids with this lady. And you work your fucking whole life to provide for them. And your best friend is Tony Hawk. And you guys go over to Tony's place. And maybe your kids play with Tony's kids in his big fucking backyard. Maybe your kid and Tony's kid skateboard together. And then you go for a dip in the pool and tony doesn't know how to barbecue so um oh shit yeah you were right tony doesn't know how to barbecue so you bring all the meat and you grill them up and tony's like hey

man how are you and so-and-so doing and you're like man it's fucking great i love her to death 20 years she's the best fucking thing that ever happened to me tony's like man i'm so happy for you and you never think in a million years that the first guy to do the 900 at the x games would dick your wife down so good she would leave her family and then he takes that from you too like getting cheated on sucks imagine getting cheated on and the guy that your girlfriend fucks is Tony Hawk. I don't know if I would ever come back from that. Because you know Tony Hawk's got a huge penis.

He's just built like that. He's one of those 6'2", 120-pound guys that just carry hammers around all day. Apparently they're still friends. Him and the guy? Here's a headline. Tony Hawk's best pal. I'm totally cool with him dating my wife. That is awesome.

That is a cuck shit thing if I've ever fucking heard, man. God damn. That sucks so fucking... Here's a quote. I know people will think it is strange, i'm totally cool with it goodman said i had split up with kathy over a year ago and she started dating tony about seven months ago 90 days 90 days to get dicked down by the bird man in the bird house

fuck mr goodman revealed that mr. Hawk had told him some time ago that he was dating his estranged wife and mother of his two children and that he took the news well. He told me about the relationship, although I suspected something before that, Mr. Goodman told Raider Online. Life can be strange, but I bear no grudges and just want to move on with my life now. You know, those are the words of a guy who puts a gun in his mouth every single fucking night.

Every night. And this guy was a groomsman at Tony Hawk's three other weddings. Wow. Tony Hawk's three other weddings. Wow. I didn't know that tidbit. That's awesome. Yeah. Not ideal.

God damn, dude. God, imagine I fucking run into you and things go sideways. Man, that is... You're like, man, I'm single now, you know. It just didn't work out. But hey, I'm so happy for her, man. She's my best friend in the whole world. They got together. Dude, I couldn't be happier for her.

God, dude. I'd be on the news. And his last... His wife, Tony Hawk's wife before this one was uh his publicist yep and uh he married his publicist right after his second divorce or a couple years after goodness tony you dirty dog the bird dude. He's pulling the bird out. He's fucking. Yeah, damn.

God damn, dude. If you're groomsman at three of the weddings, that's one of your best fuck. That is your homeboy, dude. God, dude. Fuck. I mean. Imagine being at the third wedding like, man, I hope this is the last one. Probably will be.

He seems really happy with her having no idea that like in just five short years the the girl the woman that you're gonna go home to and make dinner for and she's you know taking care of her little babies is just thinking about that tony dick she's been thinking about it all goddamn day ain't nothing you don't know yet you know fuck that sucks man gracious i think i would rather get cheated on and have the guy be like a homeless man you know what i mean like i don't want to be cheated on i don't want to be cheated on at all that shit's no fun you know but if you have to be you said like if you if if you're creating a hypothetical scenario i definitely don't want my wife or my girlfriend to be getting digged down by the most famous

famous athlete in a specific sport you know what i mean like he's the most famous skateboarder there's bam margera there's rodney mullen there's like bob burnquist but those guys are second third fourth fifth banana like that you know what i mean But those guys are second, third, fourth, fifth banana. Like that, you know what I mean? Like those guys are, you know those names, but you only really know them because of what video game? Tony Hawk's Pro Skater. It's, yeah, anyway.

That shit fucking sucks, man. Yeah. She and the best friend were married for 20 years also. Yeah. I remember reading that. God damn, dude. 20 years. 20 fucking years, dude.

Yeah. Your whole life, basically. Your whole fucking, like, I was a child and essentially your whole life of just marriage. Married. And just thrown away at the drop of a hat. Yeah, and they co-owned a film production firm together. Oh, man. And since then, Matt has parted ways with Tony and started his own company.

Wow, that's really... That's nice. That's good. You know, I expected him to do that. Yeah, I don't like hearing about stuff like that, man. It just doesn't... It doesn't sit right in my spirit. You know what I mean? It says in this article, it says,

Matt took the news lightly since he'd already moved on to another relationship. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure you took it really. Yeah, I've got a date to go for a couple weeks now. I don't really care about the woman I was married to for 20 years. Who's fucking my best friend whose name is Tony Hawk. Who's fucking my only other friend in the whole world. I've had kids for 20 years years so i don't have friends

there's no you know yeah there's no i you know i when i heard that my best friend i heard my wife was fucking my best friend um shack i just you know when i heard shaquille o'neal was giving that big old pipe to my wife i thought i, I'm glad. I'm happy for her. You know what I mean? Me and Shaq know each other 34 years, and I just couldn't be happier for the two of them together. Oh, what am I doing now? I mostly live out in the woods, and I build shit, and I wrap it in Tannerite, and I blow it up. I get squirrels.

I don't eat them. Mostly just remove their insides and shit. It passes the time. You know, they took the kids and shit. I happy for them god damn that's uh talk about talk about like you know you think you've taken some l's in your life i've taken quite a few many of them my own doing some of them consequences of my own birth um but that's a big one i feel like that's one that like kind of however whatever your age is you know I'm assuming this happened when that guy was in his maybe late 40s that that shapes the rest of

your life for sure like whatever however many years you got left call it 30 you know like that's it you know like that kind of whatever happens after that is profoundly affected by Tony Hawk fucking your ex-wife and shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Also... Um, oof. Also, I would like to make it just a mental note that, like, if you're a woman... Tony Hawk's broken every bone in his body, I think, almost literally.

Like, I think he said he's broken, like, a hundred bones. It's like half of them. And he has, like, CTE really bad. And he still does, like, kickflips and shit. And he does, like, some videos every now and then. But the fucking, the money machine's still printing that shit. But his days of being, like, in the limelight are just about done. He's maybe got a

few years left of writing he's in his mid-50s so it's like you get to live high on the hog yeah like i'm fucking tony hawk you know what i mean i'm sucking tony hawk's penis yeah so um you're about to have to take care of an invalid inside 10 years that man's an invalid you know what i mean like it's it's gonna come crashing down here pretty fucking soon. So I have some good news. Okay. You know how the, well. So he married Catherine Goodman in 2015. Yeah.

He divorced Lottie, or Lottie Miriam in 2011. Uh-huh. So they, uh, apparently his third wife left him because she found a plane ticket to San Francisco with Catherine's name on it. And well so that means that he just kept

fucking this guy's wife and then waited till like a year after they were divorced and was like hey by the way man um i've been flying your wife out um uh hey man um hey dude we actually went on a date sorry it was weird um yeah i can't believe that happened. His best friend of 20 years is like, oh, really? Wow. Well, that is so surprising. I'm really happy for you, though, for sure.

I'm so happy for you, man. I'm glad you found happiness. I have, too. I just went on a date myself, actually. I've moved on. Yeah, her name is... Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, I don't even worry about it, man.'t think i'm gonna worry about anything anymore um ever again i think yeah i'm so happy for you and uh and my

wife of 20 years i appreciate you letting me know within the 10-year span of it happening. Yeah, within an allotted time frame that's respectable. Right, right. You know. That's so awesome. It's also funny to be flying each other out when you're like 50. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Nobody's getting – like you're flying out a woman

who's going through menopause yeah yeah i don't know yeah you uh i mean i guess that's how true love is but you know what i mean it's like god damn like she had she had like three kids and she's getting flown out how does that work yeah you're both your knees are blown out from a babysitting perspective yeah yeah where the fuck did that guy's wife think that she was going they have like five or six kids between the three of them yeah he's got he's got like three kids i think from each one of the baby mamas and then she's got two with him uh with it with her ex-husband yeah some shit like that um do you think he ever had to babysit while tony hawk was fucking his wife no 100 she was like i gotta go do a work thing can you watch the kids and he was like oh 100 where are you going and she's like oh i'm going i gotta go to california um for work and he was like oh 100 where are you going and she's like oh i'm going i gotta go to california

um for work and he was like oh no like no big deal at all i totally understand and she's like can you watch the kids for like a week and a half it's a really important like work thing it's for the production company and he's like yeah 100 whole time she's first class. Champagne the whole way there. You know what I mean? Because Tony Hawk's not flying a girl out coach. You know what I mean? It's fancy. He might be. Do you think he was only

having sex with that one woman? No, it seems like Tony Hawk's been... I don't think Tony Hawk remembers. I don't think he knows who all he's been having affairs with. I think he's been... I don't think Tony Hawk remembers. I don't think he knows who all he's been having affairs with. I think he's been dropping dick off a lot for the last 40 years.

It's like, you know how he'll always tweet, like, I showed up to the airport and somebody said I look like Tony Hawk. That was funny. He'll just be walking out of a guy's house and the guy comes up and he's like, anybody ever told you you look like Tony Hawk? Huh, that's funny.

And then walks in, like, not thinking anything. Tony just laid the fucking hammer down for eight hours straight. Tony was doing 900s in this woman's pussy, like, just spinning around real fast. Yeah, there's thousands of guys who caught their wife having sex with a guy who looked like Tony Hawk. Yeah. Not even considering the possibility that Tony Hawk would fly out to Kansas City and fuck their wife and then leave forever. Yeah. I mean, just like, yeah, you make a really good point that like, like the woman, like, let's talk this lady what's her name Catherine cat whatever

the fuck you know that this guy cannot stop fucking you know that he it's it's he's incapable of it he clearly has something going on and I say this about it like like anybody who marries somebody who's had like four or five ex-husbands or wives. You say to yourself in your heart of hearts that this is – I'm his or I'm hers. Like this is – they took the long road home to find me. We both had our fair share. Hey, we were a couple of wild and crazy kids when we were 43 years old you know like we were just we were just flying each other out it was passionate but we were younger than you know 2016 you know we both had three kids who were out of high school

god damn man that sucks so fucking bad i would kill myself if Donnie Yark fucked my wife. I bet at one point he had to at one point been like, yeah, I got a skate competition in Perth. And they're like, well, I mean, yeah, that's the only reason anyone would go there. And then he just fucks a girl with like 61 followers on Instagram and then flies back.

Yeah, no, there's no way that shit's not still happening. Yeah, he's going to be like 80 years old and like flying out to have affairs with a woman who died a few years ago, but he doesn't remember. Yeah, he's been talking to like an Instagram bot. He's like flying to India to fuck a little baby princess type guy. You know what I mean? Yeah, he's having affairs with his own wife on Facebook Messenger. They both have dementia.

They just think they're cheating on each other. Yeah. God damn, man. I fucking... I remember when I first read about that shit. It was some years ago and i was like you know i obviously you know it's like a it's a bad thing you know i'm not a jealous guy i'm not an insecure guy at all but i like you get into you think about how badly it would hurt you know just just just to be fucked around on because you know if it's happened to you

uh but uh you know the pain of of that experience but again i gotta reiterate the times that i got fucked around on it was like by like just another guy who did pills like just another guy that was like scummy or whatever just you know it's just how it happens but i feel like at least it's a really cool story if tony hawk fucks your wife you know what if you can make it out alive i don't think i would you know me neither no if you don't kill yourself yeah or do something even worse you know yeah like do a mass shooting right right that's probably where i where i'd land i would land somewhere there yeah yeah i would i would probably plan on landing there and then i would end up just doing what i've done in the past which

is uh eat like a whole pizza yeah drink like six bottles of alcohol. And then just smoke a lot of morning cigarettes, you know? Smoke a lot of menthol. Like 5 a.m. cigarettes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Half a pack by 10 a.m. Yep. And, yeah, I think, you know, because that's the type of story you would like make up for like a stand-up bit.

But if you could like work, work up some tears. Yeah. Yeah, that would be a good one. Because almost everybody just gets cheated on with, like, a guy who works for State Farm or something. Yeah, their girlfriend sucks a guy's dick who is, like, the head manager at Jiffy Lube. Like, he knows how to work on cars. So that's, like, one thing that you didn't do that you know she found sexy and that's that's it you know um yeah like if you could i like like that you're

positioning it as sort of like a gauntlet like yeah if you could make it out of the labyrinth of that alive you're the guy who uh who lost his whole family and his production company and his wife and his kids to Tony Hawk. You, uh, you get like, he's just sitting in a bar. Like, you know,

you're trying to think of a funny story to tell. Cause you're out with your buddy. Who's just like, he's the life of the fucking party, man. He's like, dude. Yeah.

You fucking never would guess it, man. And then a goddamn peregrine Falcon dipped down and took my wife's dog right off the ground, man. Just, and I heard it, you know, it was sad, but that motherfucker was barking into the distance. guess man a goddamn peregrine falcon dipped down and took my wife's dog right off the ground man just and i heard it you know it was sad but that motherfucker was barking into the distance getting quieter and i watched that falcon take that dog and probably feed it to its babies and you're like man that's a funny and incredible story i'm sad that happened to you how do i one-up this guy and you're thinking in your head you're oh, my wife of 20 years got dicked down by Tony.

Dicked down by Tony. Imagine your wife is the reason why Skate 4 doesn't come out for another 10 years. Crazy. Can't even imagine. Yeah, your wife was sucking so much dick that there's never going to be another good skateboarding game. Or there's never going to be any more Boom Boom Huck Jam. Because your wife was just dropping it down on Tony so hard he couldn't think straight. Fuck.

Yeah, anyway, shouts out to that guy. I hope you're doing all right, man. I don't think, I'll never meet you. Probably, you're probably not. You're probably not doing very good good don't think anybody in that because you know tony's still killing it like tony still goes on he goes on podcast interviews i just saw an interview with him the other day where he was talking about how you know uh he's recovering from a knee injury and he's really excited to start skateboarding again and he wants

to start going on tour again and i'm like man you know that's gotta fucking that's gotta really suck it's not yeah anyway i know i don't i don't want to beat a dead horse but uh shouts out to tony hawk man whatever i guess you just you do a couple tricks on a skateboard, you get to fuck whoever you want, I suppose. It happens. I think about the guy... This is barely... I was reading a... It was an interview with Alexander Volkanovsky.

His only loss, other than Islam Makhachev, was in his first three pro fights, he got knocked out. And he was talking about like you know that loss and how he felt that loss or whatever and I'm paraphrasing he's like I never wanted to feel that again mate so he's like you know but here I am now the champion of the world and I think that guy drives a crane you know like I know he Alexander Volkanovski seems like a stand up guy and I like him. He's one of my favorite fighters, but imagine you're the only guy that ever knocked out Alexander,

the great Volkanovski. And you had that in your heart and you're, you know, you're a crane foreman somewhere in Australia or New Zealand, wherever the fuck. And, uh, you tell your buddies, you know, I knocked that guy out, you know, about 10 years ago. I could have been great, but you know i knocked that guy out you know about 10 years ago i could have been great but you know shit happens i had to make some money had a couple kids and then you read that article and it's like hey you know i'm i'm champion of the world i get to fight the best fucking guys i'm a millionaire and the guy that knocked me out he did knock me out but he's a fucking pussy who drives a crane all day you know and uh probably jokes about it all the time about how he beat the great alex you know what i mean like that you didn't have to do all day, you know, and probably jokes about it all the time about how he beat the great Alexander.

You know what I mean? Like that, he didn't have to do all that, man. You know, it doesn't seem nice. I think I would probably brag about it, though. Honestly, I would brag about it for sure.

I would, I'd say that guy should fucking kill himself. I almost beat him to death. I'd be dragging that out the rest of my fucking life. Hey, I'm a regular guy. I never even trained.

I was a walk-on. You know what? We talked about it for so long that now that I think about it, I think I would brag if Tony Hawk fucked my wife. It's the only way you get out of it. I think it's the only way you don't kill yourself. I think that... I think you should brag if anybody fucks your wife.

Yeah, not to brag, but dude... The garbage man fucked my wife. Yeah, not to brag, but dude, yeah. The garbage man fucked my wife. Yeah, he fucked my wife. No big deal. You know the guy up the road? Yeah, I think he works for the city. Yeah, he's a water maintenance guy. Yeah, he fucked my wife. No big deal.

You know the meter reader, Big Fat Tom? Yeah, he took my wife down real good while I was out fucking going to get milk. Turns out pretty much anybody could. He makes 14 an hour. You know, it's like, I don't really know what I was not doing or not providing for her that she felt that necessary to do to me. I'm not doing good at all. I don't know if you guys can tell, but hey, you know, props to him. If you could fuck my wife, you got something going on, man.

She's a picky lady. She married me, after all. Oh, brother. What a tangled web the world weaves for the men. You know you can get kicked out of the military for fucking somebody's wife. I always, dude, I thought during the george floyd riots um because you know the old cliche right of like the guy that gets deployed or he's off in basic training or he's doing something you know and he's gone you know eight months out of the year and so his wife you know while she's

while he's over there in kandahar or Mosul or Fallujah or wherever the fuck, she's getting dicked down by the neighbor. I think it's called Jody or whatever. Somebody's fucking your wife. That's a cliche. Yeah, Sancho or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sancho, Jody.

I think the Tyrone is the black name, which is racist but still funny. There's also not that many black guys named Tyrone. I've only met one. I've only met one. I've only met one in my life. It's like I've met, I think I've met one guy named Tyrone ever, and he was a white guy with one eye. I was going to say, I think during the George Floyd riots, when they deployed the National Guard to California and to Oregon, a lot of those guys get deployed from bases near their house.

So you're getting deployed to Portland and you live maybe an hour up the road. Imagine you're calling your wife. You are not writing letters that you hope get sent by mail from kandahar to tex or from kandahar to oregon you know what i mean like you just hope the plane because you're it's 5 000 miles away and you're in a fucking war-torn country imagine you're an hour down the road and you're like you know shooting mace bullets at fucking blue-haired anarchists or whatever the fuck and your wife is is fucking it's fucking somebody else while you're at war like you don't even get to be at real war

there were so many of those national guard guys that were like on reserve or whatever they got called in i guess and uh yeah they probably lived in the state where they were like you know quelling riots and shit it's one thing to get cheated on as a soldier when you're like 6,000 miles away. I guess at this point it's such a cliche that it's to be expected to some degree. Imagine that you're just 45 minutes up the highway, like maybe just, I don't know, 15, 16 exits,

and your wife's like, ah, he's on leave, you know, calling up the neighbor to get dicked down while you're quelling a riot in front of a Jamba Juice or some shit. Funny to think about. Yeah, that is funny to think about. You know. Yeah, you know, being in the military is harder than most people think. Being in the military is harder than most people think You know Whenever I joined the National Guard

People thought, you know Thomas is just in it for the money He's in it for the fame But I think that would be a funny move At this point I don't think I would be allowed in No

No, I don't think you can have a record of any kind Well, also Well, I guess I I don't think you can have a record of any kind. Well, also... Well, I guess I technically don't. You've been to the mental hospital, though, and shit. I don't think you can... Well, you know, that's kind of an opinion. It's one way to look at things. I went in for mental strengthening,

which makes me a lot more stable than most people, I think. I don't even want to open carry a gun, but somebody told me that I can't because I have been to a mental hospital. And I was like, no, this is Texas, man. You don't even have to permit. And they were like, nah, man, I don't think you can. I don't think you can own like a rifle either. And I'm like, no. I don't even want to own an AR-15. But being told that I'm barred from doing it, it seems unfair.

But I guess, you know, you got to do what you got to do if you're the government. It would be funny for you to have some sort of complete 180 happen in your life. Like if Tonyk fucked your girlfriend would you join the army i'd do something a lot more drastic than that let me tell you man there would be consequences there was jesus christ oh my god yeah if uh trying to think man if tony hawk fucked my girlfriend girlfriend you know what I've said this on this show and I've said this to friends if any more tragedy strikes in my life

I'm surprised I didn't my dad died you know I remember I remember telling Ashley like before that happened I was like man if anything happens that's bad I'm just going to go back to being an idiot I hope hope you're ready for that. She was like, Oh yeah, we'll figure it out. I love you. I'm like, I love you too. And my dad passed and I, you know, I didn't do that,

but now I feel like it's more true than ever. Like if any, I don't know if I can handle anything else. Like there's no way. Like I, if Tony Hawk fucked my girlfriend, like, dude, I'm fucking, I am getting into fentanyl. Like, it's game over. Like, I'm going to do cocaine that I found on the ground. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, it's going to be like all bets are off for old Jaker. It's kind of, you know. Good news.

Yeah. I think we might be good. What do you mean? It's if you're involuntarily hospitalized oh no yeah mine was voluntary yeah me too we're good dude we can join the military fine we're fine yeah or if it's court if yeah if it's court ordered or uh involuntary yeah yeah i mean that God, I'd fucking hope so. I mean, that seems like, you know, basic P's and Q's, you know. Yeah.

Oh, I think you, oh, wow. You can't, if you're on disability, you're not supposed to. If you're on disability, you're not supposed to join the army? No. That makes sense. No, I mean with gun laws. Oh, if you're on disability, you're not supposed to. Oh, wait, no. If it's a mental thing.

The law says if you are committed a person – if the court commits a person determined to have mental retardation. This is what the law says for long- term yeah if you've got sub 80 iq you can't carry the fucking toolie around that's fucking bullshit dude well there goes my new movie i was working on uh which was down syndrome rambo he was gonna be the most retard Rambo yeah it really fucks my shit up

yeah he was gonna be way more likable if you I don't really like I like I don't like dislike guns I'm not like an anti-gun guy there are certain hobbies I don't dislike guns. I'm not an anti-gun guy.

There are certain hobbies that are... There are certain hobbies that are kind of clouded by the most annoying people on planet Earth. And I happen to do... Jiu-Jitsu or combat, they're pretty fucking... It's saturated with fucking morons and dipshits of every type of variety. But, like, guns and cars. Like, I like cars. I wish I knew more.

And I wish I could be a car guy. But, uh, like, something about car and gun guys that are just, like, how did you become autistic for this thing? Like, I understand being autistic for, like, I don't know. I guess I understand being autistic for cars, but guns, actually, I don't understand. Like, I don't, like, how is that the thing that tickled your, like, Sperg shit? I don't understand. Like, guys who are audiophiles, like, I get that. Guys who are, like, really into fucking roller coasters, I actually understand that.

They're pretty fucking difficult, from my understanding, to put together. But like, Hologlock Knight, it seems fucking stupid. You know what I mean? Yeah, I get it. I mean, it's fun to shoot a gun and stuff like that. It's just such a... You know, it's a pretty expensive hobby to have and you can't really do it most places. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Uh, like unless you live out in the country and even then you gotta like, you can't just, usually you can't just be firing guns. I mean, if you're remote enough. Yeah. But I mean, you gotta worry about like accidentally shooting your dog or something at the very least you know i just i don't i'm too forgetful for stuff like that for sure like i'm not even really worried about offing myself anymore because i've got too many responsibilities and people would be mad at me so yeah same whatever nobody you know i can't

i can't do that as like a 23 year old sophomore in college it's just not i mean i guess you could i could but my resume is so bad it would be a really blamed funeral you know what i mean yeah yeah i know what you mean it's like like i used to kind of i used to say that and think that I was the type of guy that was like oh man I can't have a gun now so fucking kill myself you know what I mean when like it was partially true but like in the times that I've been suicidal I could have killed myself any good goddamn way you know I was gonna jump off something big or I was gonna fucking take some pills or hang myself or whatever the fuck uh but now yeah i kind of agree with you

where it's like i'm not like i'm just not responsible all of the videos of the the funny videos of the guys that are like flashing their dracos and their glocks and their ak's uh at the camera and they're in their home and then they accidentally let a round off i would do that but probably like every week or something along those lines like i would do a negligent discharge like five times a week it just seems like something that i would do like i don't i barely remember to like brush my teeth so i just feel like i would pick my gun up and it would just go off you know what i mean like i'm not i don't I'm not I don't have a careful hand I've never really been a guy with like a like a sort of a press I've never been a precise man in my life mostly just kind of a brute I kind of just like mow through life and others lives and just you

know shit happens or whatever yeah also it's uh so expensive you know what i mean yeah it's like you know if you if you're let's say if you play video games you know get a new game what is it like maybe 60 bucks yeah and then like you can play that for as long as you want you get a new gun you know minimum 500 bucks yeah for like a kind of i don't know for like a little handgun or whatever uh-huh and then it's like okay do you want to get another one or do you want to get like a rifle or something i don't know it's just not that fascinating to me yeah for sure also i rather i'd rather have like uh a really nice cast iron or something. Yeah.

I also am under no delusion. The people that I know, take my uncle, for example. The people that I know that have a lot of guns are in two camps. They're either autistic for guns and the mechanics they're in, or they think that they stand a chance against like a totalitarian type state situation you know like a 2a guy uh i'm not autistic for guns i don't know if i don't think i'm autistic i think i'm just kind of sort of forgetful and rude um but uh i'm also just like not under any uh delusion that uh that i would take up arms against my government like i don't think i'm not one of those guys like i'm not a revolutionary

i'm not like an activist i'm not like gonna go to a protest with a gun um because like i'm not i don't want to say everybody that does that is stupid but it seems like a lot of them are like my uncle is like yeah if anybody tries to come and take these from me they're gonna fucking die and my uncle is like a 500 pound, like a nearly toothless, like degenerate human being. And I'm like, do you think they're going to send like Gomer Pyle from like Full Metal Jacket? Like they're going to send guys that like young guys that are in the army to take your guns. Hypothetically speaking, like they're not going to send like retards. Like they're not going to send like inbred slow like you're gonna have to fight a guy who's in infantry i'm not saying everybody in infantry is a stud or a green beret but they're

definitely better than you at shooting probably tougher too and in better shape so you know you would just and also the end of the world like he's kind of a doomer like a doomer dooms doomer day he's kind of a doomsday guy and i'm like oh dude if the world ended i'm just gonna go to the pharmacies like if the world ends i'm not like gonna do the road or like the last of a shit like i'm not gonna carry around a hunting rifle i stole off of a man i beat to death in a really intense and heat of the moment fistfight where i almost die and then i just no like i'm not doing anything i'm not gonna hunt squirrels and eat out of the moment fist fight where I almost die and then I just no like I'm not doing anything I'm not gonna hunt squirrels and eat out of the trash and I'm not gonna fucking bathe and

I'm not doing any of that stupid shit I'm going to the to the to the CVS by my house I'm gonna raid it and then I'm gonna go to the Ferrari dealership and I'm gonna get one and then I'm gonna kill myself it's pretty simple people are like you know, you'll have the will to survive. Nope. I really only have the energy to live whatever modern life currently offers me. I'm not like a, I've been camping. It's fun. Get me the fuck out of there day two.

Day three, maybe. You know what I mean? I'm not a survival guy. Well, I guess that makes one of us because i you know i was born for conflict you know that i think fast quick on my feet and i i have a mind and a body that was bred to kill yeah when i see you i think of a guy who would definitely do well in a post-apocalyptic sort of world. You're definitely, you're industrious, you're cunning, you're very stealthy.

You definitely know how to like, you know, siphon gasoline in hot wire cars. You know how to start a fire with your hands. You know how to hunt. And I feel like I would do well as a bard, maybe. You know, which is collapse. You just end up like a sex slave for a roving motorcycle gang of like Mad Max guys. No, no, I would. Yeah, that would happen to you.

What would happen was I would be the storyteller for the next generation. I would unfortunately have to sacrifice a lot of more qualified gentlemen for the job because, look, I hate to say it, Jake, but it's fuck you pay me in this post-apocalyptic world. And the first thing I'd probably do is, and I hate to even say this, but I'd probably kidnap all the kids in my neighborhood. And then whenever all the parents came like hey man can you please give us becker kids i'd say give me all the fucking food and survival stuff

and then they would and then i would kill all the kids and the parents yeah and i would live in all the houses just kidding i would let the kids go uh because um i really truly think that taking that many lives would erode your spirit yeah i think my girlfriend would break up with me if i did that your post-apocalyptic girlfriend would break up with you if you killed a bunch of children as leverage you think i would break up with my girlfriend just because the world was ending you know like i'm not gonna come on man got nothing switching up here i don't need to come a nuclear bomb goes off in ukraine and you just text eden sorry like you get ahead of it you're like oh man i don't know about this she breaks up with me because the world is ending i'm texting you like i'm gonna kill myself

so fucking sad i can't fucking believe she'd do this to me. I'm like, Jake, can you believe this? And you're like, hey, man, they're kind of trying to block off the fire escape right now, man. Let's talk about this later. I'm like, can I use the company card money to buy fucking candy? Because I'm so fucking sad, dude. I need a twisted tea and I need peach rings, Jake. You're like, it's moving north. It's going to be up to you soon.

The virus is spreading. I'm like, my fucking card got declined on these peach drinks. I'm fucking pissed off, dude. God. And I fucking, dude, I thought I just had to pee a little bit, so I just tried to pee in my pants a little bit, and I peed my pants all the way. So fucking mad.

A bunch of Mad Max guys are trying to get me to, they're trying to put me in a spit roaster butt-ass naked. You're like, Jake, dude, I fucking, I just need to like, can you just give me, can you cash at me like 30 bucks so I can go get some dim sum, bro? I just don't know what to do, man. It's just getting really bad out here.

I got fucking honey all over my fingers, man. I can't even type on my phone anymore. It's starting to, the screen's broken. Fuck, dude. I got fucking honey on my hands, man. Jay, I know you're going through it, Jay, because you're being raped by marauders. But I got honey on my hands. I know you got your own shit going on.

I'm not trying to pry into your personal life, but you're being really fucking distant right now. I thought we were friends, man. I know you're getting fucked by a big fucking... Dude, I hate to say it, but I don't fucking want to record tonight because you're being such a bitch about this whole situation, man. Neither of us have electricity anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the internet system is down for the whole world, and I spend the last battery charge I have just refreshing Instagram over and over. Yeah, you're trying to crank out a 20-retweet post.

You're just trying to get a little bit of serotonin for the day. I'm like the zombie virus. Y'all moms be fire as hell. It's not sending. It's not sending. I hate this. You're not all the DMs aren't refreshing and you think you've just like lost your account. Like you're panicking because you think you've been finally been banned like IP band.

Fuck, dude. I'm going to lose everything. Yeah. All right, fellas. If you listen to this shit, that means it's for free. And if you're for free, that means that you maybe don't subscribe to the patron, which is patreon.com slash pendejotime. Go give us five bucks a month. Five bucks a month gives you an extra episode every week.

That's four bonus episodes a month. Also, you get Discord access with that shit. It's a cool-ass Discord. There's a lot of channels in there. People talk about a bunch of shit. Ten bucks a month gets you all that shit, plus a video episode each month. I'm about to go to Fort Worth and record with Thomas

we've got like you know a lot of audience members on the free ones so if all of you guys subscribe it would be really sick because and then we could do more with the show we are doing more with the show

but you but everything helps. And if you're broke right now and you can't pitch in, don't worry about it. We're obviously going to keep doing the free ones for the foreseeable future, so don't like, you know. For the foreseeable future. Yeah, I mean, like, you're good. Yeah, no, you don't have to give us money. I just do this pitch at the end because it seems normal to do.

But, yeah, patreon.com slash pandeo time. Goodbye. Bye.