Pendejo Time - wet

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

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puppy dog yours only you're into you're getting into puppy play you're saying you like that type of stuff and you like to wear a puppy only i love i love puppy play i like to play with puppies all the time now i play with kitties to airplane with mouses and mows you play and then to lizard play a play with lizards like snake play police snakes

for see play you are horsey play that's awesome man horsey play bucking bronco yeah that's where you play with horses you want to be a horsey big norse that means nose and horse big nor Sea 20 inch hooves on the horse. Horsey getting nade tonight. Yep. Halter snug tight. I'm in the saddle. No.

Don't hit me with the paddle because that's what a jockey uses. Yeah, paddle. Yeah, no. There's a snake and a rattle. Rattles. Rattles. Get him away.

Rattles. Get him away. Okay, yeah, they rattles. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. There's a snake in a red Okay, yeah rattles yeah, it's fine. Yeah want to be a Toucan Big toucan colorful knowing that you went in not having a rhyme for toucan I was confident. I thought, okay. Two can. No, no, keep going. Sorry. I want to be a two can on a soup can. The Norman Rockwell painting.

I think it's a two can. And he's on the big can of soup. I might be making a painting, but I think it's true. I got a big nose. And I live in jungle and I like to go I think that's the sound of 2k makes but I'm not a hundred percent sure I have to consult my 2k expert you want to be a father no mother 20 inch kid and it's it likes to bother Toddler getting raised tonight 20 years old

eating raisins nice He's on the highway you're teaching him to drive away And you can't wait for him to move away move away Go away And you can't wait for him to move away. Move away, move away, go away. Do you wanna be a toddler, big diaper, 20 inch poop all in your diaper. Diaper getting changed tonight. Diaper rolled up and your diaper time,

you're in the diaper. Diaper. Going pee pee in your diaper But you gotta change your diaper diaper babe Thank you guys for joining us This is a new free episode of Pendejo time and if you're not totally locked in right now You might as well go ahead and blow your fucking feet off because you better sit down

Get your ass somewhere nice and comfortable for another hour of fantastic white entertainment. You got a problem with that, Jake? No, fuck no, dude. I'm all about white entertainment. There's too much other type of entertainment. White entertainment has been on the fucking down low. We don't have any more crazy comedies

about some harebrained schemes to get into college. We don't have any Crazy types of music like you know, what's the what's the you my butterfly sugar, baby? That was white entertainment So movie dude, where's my car? Yeah, we don't exactly just aimless fun made by white men for white men only just Just aimless fun made by white men for white men only just Goddamn man. That's why I like doing this show because there's black entertainment television. Why isn't there wet? You know what I mean? Just a whole network dedicated. Yeah, that's working Fox News if you ask me Yeah, Fox and Friends more like Fox and yeah, it seems for folks are extreme.

Yep. Yeah, that's my fat. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'm glad to be bringing white entertainment back. There's too much. Imagine everywhere, everything all at once, but it's just a white family. It would have been so much better.

It would have been, you know what I mean? It would have been more relatable. Yeah, what if the Cosby show was with white people? What more relatable. What if the Cosby show was with white people? What's that? What if the Cosby show was with white people? I've never seen a show but you can imagine it would be very different. Probably not as good in some ways but probably in some ways. It's just full house.

Maybe it would have given Bill Cosby less opportunities to do what he did. Maybe that would be good. He would have just been a normal guy. He would have never had any. He got got foul urges because of the Cosby Yeah, he was getting sinister urges because if you're a big guy in show business rule number one is don't act on your foul urges Yeah, don't let the sinister nature of your soul direction. Yeah actions and stuff Yeah, what if the Cosby show was with Chris D'Alia and said it would have been so much better You know actions and stuff. Yeah, what if the Cosby show was with Crystal Lea and said it would have been so much better

Did you see that awesome stand-up clip of his the going viral where it's like blood tender bartender Chicken tender and then he does this It's physical comedy action for the yeah, he's awesome man. It's crazy that It's crazy that they keep letting that guy come back it's just gonna be sexy as hell yeah he's really awesome Chris D'Alia really Chris delete your snapchat and focus on the jokes why don't you have quick messages in these kids Chris delete yes yeah yeah Chris, delete the messages. More like Chris delightful.

Because he's so pleasant. And such as I love the guy. I love him so much. Yeah. Oh, man. It's a I feel like the only good new show out nowadays is Breaking Bad. The only. Yeah. But to that's how I'm too broke To broke girls I like you can't see the Sopranos yet Not you see where they take that one yeah, I'm scared of that show I don't really like scary stuff so I don't yeah, you know like monsters. I love monsters I wish they had I mean if they could make a whole movie about monsters I will watch it every day. I think

Mmm, I mean me too. Yeah, well, but it has to be a nice monster not anything spooky or scary or thrilling Anyway, nothing to hair raising nothing to Like exhilarating in a frightening way. Nothing to goose bumpy. Yeah, you know, I don't like it when my hair raises I don't like it when my skin bumps yeah maybe like a sexy red monster yeah that would be nice how we can write a movie about a monster the booty monster mm-hmm okay it's gonna be like a 24 yeah and it would be a monster that shook its booty

oh wait yeah that's freaking Miley Cyrus at the VMAs this year Yeah, you can't Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. Um wait I Just ordered chicken drumsticks, and they came raw. Oh wait That's my TV and that's Miley Cyrus twerking on Robin Thicke during the VMAs Could 2015 get any crazier? Can somebody tell me? The writers of 2015 are gone off the rails this season. That's on facts. That was maybe 2014 was it?

Yeah, I know you wanted I know you you're a good girl And you know you like it, I know you want it, cause you're a good girl. And then you like it, you know you, you know I'm Thomas. You know. That's what it would be called if I. You know I'm Thomas. Miley Cyrus. BMA's infamous, Google that.

Let's see. That was 2013, fuck! Could 2013 get any freaking crazier? It got hit, contemporary hit radio May 21st, 2013. I hate these bloodlines! Yeah, I used to love her because of her good girl status. And now the only one calling her a good girl is Robin Thic Robin thick that old

Wiley bastard That old sexually deviant Wiley that old sexual bastard yes sexual freak of nature He cheated on a much beautiful black wife and destroyed it for white whores horse. Beautiful marriage. He had a wonderful. He cheated on Paula Patton. Isn't that her name? I don't know think she was just that I think she was just in the music video Because she was famous. She was like a famous model But I think that I don't think they were having it for he got he was like taking a picture with a fan And you could see in them a mirror in the background that he was like had his finger like Had his hand like up her skirt behind her back.

Not good, man, no. So that went like viral or whatever and then yeah. I thought, I didn't, see I didn't really know about that. I just thought people were mad at him because the song was like, we've both been drinking. What if we have sex? Is it cool to do that?

Is it cool to have sex after drinking a million beers? Some people might say no, but who fucking gives a shit? I thought that was why people were mad at him. Not that. What you're saying sucks really bad. I did hear, but he cheated on his wife. He didn't fucking do the Holocaust. But, you know, I mean, I think he's a douchebag.

I don't know if you don't get to have a career anymore if pop stars can't cheat on their wives who can Yeah, no, I'm sure you know, I mean, it's not something I would do but I didn't I didn't write blurred lines either Yeah, I did haven't done anything in my life Ever a regular idiot But so you're saying that the finger the bowling ball grip was consensual I thought yeah, I think he was just having an affair with that They were looking at something. Oh, that's why I said he was just getting hands in the picture It wasn't like I think it was just evident that he was cheating on his wife

It wasn't like he was like non-consensually. I thought he was doing a grope and that was no good You didn't know girl. That girl was loving it from what I get here that white Jezebel He's fucking white Jezebel is trying to take all the white men away from the black women Yeah, you know what that's what keeps us racist Yeah, you know what that's what keeps us racist I Love saying nonsense. Yeah, it's awesome to just say fucking stupid shit that I fucking hate white women

Yeah, they're trying to sell the white men from the sexy black queens that want them for their we're trying to get our sexy black White women They're just stealing all those the black kings from the way from the sexy white black women whoa whoa whoa whoa? That's too far But yeah, um No, we have a ro. Robin think is pretty much, he's like kind of honorary lightskin I feel like, but I don't think that's my decision to make. I don't think I have any authority in that matter. It's like him and LPD. I think I just, I think I just hope that that's the case because I would love to be in that category someday, but I don't

think that I really get there, um, because I mostly hang out and not, not a, I don't think that I really get there because I mostly hang out and not, I haven't gone out of my way to have majority white friends, but it's just sort of how it's worked out. I mean, I have all kinds of friends, but I mean, I'm talking to another white guy right now, you know what I mean? I'm not talking to Pharrell right now.

No offense, but. No, I get it, I get it. I mostly, I don't know. I just think I don't think I'm very high up in the running of honorary member of the culture. Yeah, no offense. But no, I get it. I get it. I mostly I don't know. I don't think I'm very high up in the running of honorary. Sure. You know what I mean? I was I was given, you know, that's fine. It's fine. It doesn't really matter. Like, I think the one thing that I think is important that we understand and promote on this show is, is it as white men, we can say absolute nonsense

with confidence Kind of comes with the territory. You know what I mean? It's our show and we can say completely wrong things that hurt people Yeah, like you can hunt Falcons Yeah, yeah buzzer. Yeah, you can hurt them. Yeah, you can do whatever you want. You can yeah Listen guys, if you're a white the the discord post picture of a falcon that they shot. We're like, oh, no. Wait, what? And our just say, no, I was saying it would be it wouldn't be funny.

But like we just say stuff like that. We were like, hey, I did this to impress you guys. Oh, I was like, dude, hold on a fucking second. Just shooting a rare condor, just a huge ass bus. I saw a hawk or something the other day. Not the two of kind guys, not the two of kind. Jake, have you read? Oh, my gosh, I've been loving the hawk to grow memes on on X.

Yeah, they've been awesome. They use grok for some of them. They I grok to. Yeah, they're pretty. No, they use some. They try and take it seriously for a second. GROK for some of them, the AI. GROK-TUA, yeah, they're pretty great. No, they use some of the... Try and take it seriously for a second. They... Um...

So, Hayley Welch, AKA the Hawk-TUA girl. Yeah. I've been monitoring her profile very closely on X, the everything app, formerly FKA Twitter. And the memes that Fellow X users are coming up with some AI generated some just dank as hell from the depths of freaking I funny Oh

my god talk about wanting to Talk about raffle wanting to get hit by an asteroid, but man it it's really I Feel like I Feel like the Wells running dry in a way, but I think it's beautiful also It's like the whole world is in on it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean I Went and did my buddy JT's show like two months ago. Shout out Bad News podcast, very fun. Add it to your rotation, funny guys.

And we were talking about it then. And at that point they asked me, like, do you think there's any gas in the tank? And I was like, this might be the longest running consistent thing. For example, a guy tried to blow Donald Trump's head smooth off of his body with a gun and missed. That had less cultural staying power than a buckle bunny country bumpkin talking about giving a blowie to a dude's big old beef stick. Just making the sound and then that has had more sort of cultural staying power than an attempted assassination on the funniest and dumbest president

in the history of American, the world. Yeah. It's awesome. He almost got shot to a. Yeah. Yeah. Like the meme. Yeah, like like rock meme yeah, well the thing about her is She um

She goes on What she was on Bill Maher, and he was like you should start a sex podcast Which like props to bill for still trying to fucking throw a fastball Cuz you know, there's one thing we know about Bill Maher Thomas he has so much sexual prowess no Yes, and sexual energy just fucking oozes come but Yeah, yeah, I like that. She's still big and in the spotlight. Yeah, I like that. She posts on her account I'm not sure if that's a meme She's raising money to cause cancer and she's she was at the Zach Bryant show and Yeah, her bio on Twitter queen of memes

Yep, God bless America smiles for the lovers and middle fingers to the haters beautiful, okay Yeah, I'm liking this so far. Yeah. Um yeah so yeah show me all your memes. Um. There's a lot of if you search. I hope you all have a blessed morning. Yep. What's her account called? Haley Welch X. It's H a lie why that's how I would have spelled it, too But oh yeah grok two has memes comment yours and it's a picture of a robot that says grok to a And then it's her face photoshopped over Mark Zuckerberg on the

He's fucking As a surfboard thing pulled by the boat. I can't remember what it's called Hank spit that shit out Yeah, I can see on the camera Hank has Jake's penis in his mouth This is my whole ball sack and Jake wants him to spit it out because he's done. Hey Jack Yeah, spit out my balls. I've already busted off. Hey, yeah Hey God damn it one second All right

I'd like to pledge allegiance to the Hawk to a girl while Jake is gone. I pledge allegiance to Hawk to a Let me look up the actual Pledge of Allegiance because I don't remember it pledge to the Hawktua girl while Jake is gone. I pledge allegiance to Hawktua of the United States to spit on that thing and to the Haley for which it welch one grok under X indivisible with X the everything app and Hawk to a for all hope you guys like that this is sort of something I cooked up and I wanted you guys to hear it without the judgment of Jake Jake the judge that's what I call him. He's very hateful towards me and my faith, my faith in the power of the Hawktua girl. I think she's going to make a big difference. And I've actually been putting colloidal silver in her food. And the silver that

I've been giving the hawk to a girl is gonna make her grow very tired and dependent on me over time it's gonna make her very slow and dependent on me and it's gonna cloud her brain and I'm gonna keep her in my apartment and we're gonna cook up grok memes together on our computer I'm gonna give her a leapfrog and I'm gonna let her draw on it and I'm gonna let I computer. I'm gonna give her a leapfrog, and I'm gonna let her draw on it. And I'm gonna let, I'm gonna, I'm gonna teach her how to draw the American flag. And then she's gonna say, she's gonna get so sick,

she's gonna say that I have to be the Hawk Toa man. And then I will set her free in the streets of New York, and let her die in peace, and then I will carry on free in the streets of New York and let her die in peace. And then I will carry on the legacy of Haak Tua. And I will be the, instead of Haak Tua, it'll be Haak Thomas. Haak Thomas. Okay.

What do you think of that, Jake? I led a Pledge of Allegiance to Haak Tua while you were gone. Sorry. Would you like to hear it? Yeah, man, of course. I'd love to hear stuff like that. I we let I let a pledge of allegiance to Hawk to a while you were gone. Sorry Would you like to hear it? Yeah, man, of course. I'd love to hear stuff like well I don't remember it. So now I have to pull it up again Okay Hank I'll try and get it right this time. I Pledge allegiance

To Hawk to a of the United Haley of Welch Pledge allegiance to Hawk to a Of the United Haley of Welch Mm-hmm into the to a Republic come on I Can't remember the original I don't want to say the wrong thing Because I'm worried that Haley's gonna find out If you do the if you do the pledge wrong you get kicked off of XE everything app

And you have to go to truth social yeah, you got to go to get a getter or whatever the fuck I Like oh, I like how I like how many like right-wing alternative What's it called like social media apps there were for a little while yeah, they're like we're all being too censored we're going to Grubber yeah We're going to tabber where you can say the n-word and do pump and dump coin schemes to unwitting grandmas everywhere. I saw an awesome clip where Andrew Tate said the reason he didn't go on Joe Rogan was because he did not want to go to jail. And he thought that going on Rogan would endanger him to the elites who would then send him to jail.

And then he went to jail for sex trafficking. And now he might go back to jail on a completely different charge of being a pedophile allegedly. Which didn't see that coming. You can't do anything in Romania nowadays it's woke now. Yeah yeah more like whoa mania because hey hey take it woke mania that's what I like yo mania whenever he's there why I don't know he's too he says the n-word yes sir let him know yeah he's a cry yeah he's half black which but it doesn't seem right when he says it.

I don't get to literally say it raciously, which is funny for sure. It's not my place. I feel like if he gets to say it, then like cool white guys should get to say it. You know what I mean? Like, that's kind of where I stand on the issue. Right. Well, it's in there. Um, let you stand over there.

Yeah. You can say wherever you want. on the issue. Right. Well, I'll let you stand there. Um. Let you stand over there. Yeah, you can stay wherever you want, bro. Um. But, yeah, no. I think he's just, he's very misunderstood by people who, you know, aren't, um, sex traffickers and pedophiles, I guess. But like, people in our community, like, we get him, you know what I mean? Like, he makes sense. Sure. Yeah, yeah. For sure, man. sense sure yeah yeah for sure for sure yeah yeah I'll just assume just because he's a pedophile and like a sex trafficker and like is like poisoning a generation of children's brains to think that all the girls their age are trying to suck their dick to steal their money

forever and that they need to spar so they can train to like rape their brothers or whatever. Even though he does that stuff like he's still a good guy like he has a brother and he like talks to his brother in his videos like he's got to be a good guy. He smokes cigars. Yeah. And he drinks coffee. You know he's got to be a good guy. Yeah I like how he said he's he drinks like 20 cups of black coffee a day.

Uh huh. He clearly does cocaine. All the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. He's like, yeah, I have to be wired all the time. That's why I drink so much coffee. I'm like, yeah, I bet that's why.

Well, also he claimed like, he claimed Natty, which is crazy. It's crazy. Like I don't know. He was like, I've never touched steroids in my life. And I'm like, that's okay. Like, whatever. But like, you clearly do them and you clearly do like a bunch of other shit too. Which whatever, like, that's not even the worst part of it.

There was a friend, a friend of a friend who works in like a school for children with a counselor, works in a school for children with behavioral issues. And he was saying that a lot of the guys in there are like, they call the teachers like females. And not like in a, not in like a where the female is at, but in like a species, the way you describe a bunny rabbit or like a lesser primate, like, oh the females are here which like, to your point earlier, I don't know, a lot of things you can grow out of

you know what I mean, like, I used to like, I remember when I saw Viva Vendetta and I was 12 and I was like, that's my politics, I think just that movie you know, and you grow out of that. I think it's more dangerous to toy around with the idea of being basically like Ted Bundy, but without following through, you know what I mean? Like to just toy with the idea of viewing an entire kind of gender of people as like basically animals,

less than, you know what I mean? Like a bug or something, you know what I mean? Like a bug or something, you know what I mean? Like something you step on. I think it's good. Yeah, but you're a, you like to rustle feathers. Yeah, I'm a bit of a crazy guy. I'm a bit of a fucking psycho wizard. I'm a bit of a wacky wiener.

But I'm also like, I get it, like it's hard. Especially when you're in that industry. Like whenever I did sex trafficking, I was like, I'm not going to do sex trafficking. I'm not going of a fucking psycho wizard. I'm a bit of a wacky wiener. But I'm also like, I get it, like it's hard. Especially when you're in that industry. Like whenever I did sex trafficking, like whenever I did human trafficking, like it's hard to get people to like you. Yeah, it's tough. Sometimes it feels like everybody's against you and like everything that you do. And like... Sometimes it feels like Interpol is against you.

It's like nobody's on your side. Yeah, sometimes it feels like Department of Homeland is against you and FBI is against you. Yeah, it's like everybody's out to get you. Yeah, Interpol. Yeah, and his videos after he went to jail, he was like, the elites, they got to me. I did everything I could to battle them, to battle their efforts, but they finally got to me. I did everything I could to battle them, to battle their efforts, but they finally got to me. But I was freed and you know cleared of all charges, which wasn't really the case. But to get arrested for trafficking and be like they got me is like pretty bold. That's funny. Like I know he meant it in like a matrix-y way, like a action movie way, you know, yeah, like the elites got me

But it's kind of goofy to be like damn I fought really hard to be not discreet at all about the fact that I run a warehouse of essentially digital prostitutes and probably real ones and Would you believe it the government came and raided my house and took me and my brother to jail? and raided my house and took me and my brother to jail. I like that his brother's have I show speed and they have Kyson and Phantom, so I think they're gonna be okay. I show speed and Kyson and Phantom?

Yeah. Are those, oh I know who I show speed. Yeah, I don't know who Phantom is. I feel like they don't even care about Andrew Tate that much anymore. They've lost their way, like they don't even care about Andrew Tate that much anymore They've lost their way like they've lost No, like I feel like because Andrew Tate is like going to prison and stuff like he's not able to Keep the momentum going the same way. Yeah. No for sure

That was when I saw that video his attention spans are so short like they'll cling on to anything. So like right now They have like streamers where it's like They watch them like a lot yeah and they it's like there's like a parasocial aspect to it it's like sure it's kind of it's kind of like podcasting but it's like a stronger because it's like you see them doing like everyday type shit you know yeah like doing a tag like. Like you see them like eating and like interacting with their friends and stuff like live. And I think it builds a stronger parasocial bond than a podcast or like

even just regular Twitch streaming would because it's like they have they'll be on Twitch for like days straight sometimes. It's like they'll literally sleep on there sometimes. Like you can go and watch some sleep. That's only for like marathons or whatever, but like, I think kids really, and it's not all negative either. Like there's like, sometimes they'll have like girls like twerking on there or whatever. I'm like, I don't know what really what all that's about.

But yeah, no, like the the the the popular twitch. Oh they'll have the girls like yeah like they'll have like baddies come on or whatever to like keep the kids watching and engaged yeah yeah and then they'll have like rappers come and like they'll have like I-spice come and like pretend to flirt with them or whatever and then just give me like 50k But there was so much money they make crazy money. There was that video of I show speed I think he was in Ireland. No, he was somewhere and the crowd was trying to like rip his hair out Oh, yeah, he was in Poland. I think Poland Yeah

they were trying to like rip his clothes off and like punch him And shit and like he had to be like as like Britt like whisked away by security, which that's my thing Is like is That fame or is that what is that? It's a whole new different type of thing because people used to chase James Dean and Elvis around town to fuck him Which I get it, you know handsome fellas But I think it's a new type of where you generate a lot of wealth Through content and instead of having fans you kind of they don't hate you

But they don't like you but they do want to cause you harm and they want to see you suffer for some reason It's not a hatred. It's like an excitement almost like a fervor or something and I don't understand it was like a mass hysteria thing like yeah got that many like younger people there who like don't really know how to control themselves and then suddenly suddenly it's like they're in charge yeah yeah for sure and it's a good point it's weird um and I think it's kind of it's got to be weird with like the IRL streaming you know what I mean where they're like just going around like getting food and stuff and like people come up to them and stuff that to me would be like would feel like the most invasive

stuff like I like it's not that weird to get like recognized in public, but like, um, like the way that like somebody like us would, you know what I mean? Where it's like, it happens once in a while. Like it happened so rarely and it's always, it's always somebody like normal. Like it's just somebody like us, you know what I mean? Cause we're like, Hey, what's up real celebrities or anything? But like with that it had to be so weird like you're going a bunch of places and even if they don't know Who you are they know that you're famous like they can tell like you're seeing your face somewhere. Yeah I like maybe in like two years like nobody

Like you wouldn't have the same power yeah like like ninja was like everybody would still recognize ninja he's maybe not the best example but like he was so fucking famous for like when fortnight first took off mmm oh yeah that's right and then he like went to Microsoft or whatever's platform and he like I Mean they gave him a shit ton of money, so it's fine, but he was the four We should factor in a different type of conversation All right. Yeah, it's speaking of it's hard to resist the siren call of popcorn and soda. Ain't that the damn truth? That's why there's Factor.

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What was your favorite menu item? My favorite would have to have been the jalapeno popper hamburger. I really enjoyed that one. I also I Aside from the meals I liked the what's it called the juices the boosters Those were good. They gave me a free sample of those. I believe they've got smoothies as well, which I didn't try the smoothies, but Yeah, it um It takes a lot of the effort out of... I'm really shitty at tracking my macro. I don't know. Lately, I think I've been accidentally dirty bulking. I've just been eating egg rolls and fucking big plates of pasta and large brown beers. So stuff like this is super easy

because you can choose from six menu preferences to help you manage your calories Maximize your protein intake avoid meat or simply eat well balanced if you'd like whatever you're looking for factors got you covered head to factor meals comm slash Pendejo 50 and use code Pendejo 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month That's code Pendejo 50 at factor meals comm slash off your next month. That's code Pendejo50 at factor meals dot com slash Pendejo 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month's while your subscription is active. Yeah, I think the. The streaming thing and the, we've talked about this before where it's like people who make like content

and stuff I feel like are more accessible. You can't get close to like Brad Pitt or something. So I think people understand to some degree that they can and so when they do, there's like a, yeah, like you said, you don't't know what to do like you get up to the guy that you see every day And then he's like hello, and you're like and so I guess if you're Polish you try to fucking rip their skin off or something like in the case of I show speed or whatever and But I didn't know how much I didn't know it was possible to make that much fucking money doing anything Outside of like being an A-list actor Those guys were getting paid like 10 20 million dollars, and I never really understood what for but I was in the wrong age Demographic or whatever like I was that was they're literally getting like

They get millions of like just the subs Yeah, that's not even putting endorsements and shit. Yeah, it's like yeah, it's crazy Pretty dude the funniest. I mean I think it's a net good No, yeah, I mean yeah, it's not I'm not I'm not I'm not against any but like Mostly guys who end up making good money like they are not from money. You know yeah, yeah Yeah, and there's a lot of people who can like Money, you know yeah, yeah, yeah, and there's a lot of people who can like Are sort of like at a level like us where it's like it helps out like they don't yeah off it But it like helps pay bills and stuff. Yeah, I think that's a

Anything that helps people pay bills. I'm for you know I mean generally don't traffic human beings or kill them or well But that the fucking um dude when dr. Disrespect, you know Came out was like I'm a super chill guy. I do normal ass stuff And people were mad at him and fucking it was a witch hunt After all that happened he posts What seemed to be an AI generated image of him playing chess? after like, you know a month of silence or something. I love the implied post there that's like,

I'm playing chess, the strategist. You're all playing checkers. I am several moves ahead. So many moves in fact that me copping to texting teenage girls is just me playing the long game That's me being the tactician That I am um

I'm just on Listen, you guys are like oh he's a You don't understand the long game you guys are clowns Yeah You falling right into my trap of me being a pedophile. Yeah. You guys are just don't understand the playing field where I have let you know, I let you know my move,

which was texting a 17-year-old as a married man. But I won't let you know my next move, which is a mystery to me and as it stands because I don't quite understand what's happening But I do want to make it seem like there is going to be some turnaround for me You're six foot eight No, he's not Yep, the fuck out of here. I just looked him up. Dr. Disrespect Height. Yo, get the fuck out of town.

That's crazy. He should have been hooping. Yeah. He should have been hooping. Did he play D2? He played D2 college ball. Dude, his name is Herschel Beam the fourth and he's a white guy?

Yo. Dude, Herschel Beam is a crazy like, That is a crazy white guy. Like ABA, like, wall player name. Herschel Guy Beam the fourth. Dude, if your name is Herschel Beam, you should go by Herschel Beam.

Yeah, not the, not, Why not Dr. Beam? Dr. Herschel beam you should go by Herschel beam yeah, not the not why not doctor of dr. Beam Dr.. Herschel doctor fucking for beam You first of all you shouldn't text teenagers. That's gotta be just rule. My daughter too, so that's cool That's fucking that's a cherry on top That's fucking that's a cherry on top In June 2020 beam was permanently banned from twitch for then undisclosed reasons He returned to streaming on YouTube a month later in June 2024 former twitch employees disclosed that his band was due to sexting with A minor using twitch's whisper feature in 2017 beam acknowledged the nature of this band

But characterized the messages is inappropriate Following this YouTube demonetized and suspended his channel from the platform's partner program and His partnerships were suspended Herschel You're fucked you've been you got canceled for wait using twitch which was his job Okay You get see now you can get fired for sending a Slack message if it's your penis? Make that make sense.

It's for work. I guess if I bring a gun to work now I can't go to work anymore even though I brought it to my job. Okay. Make that make sense. I thought this was America. Okay. I can't come to work anymore Yeah, even if I have a gun and a bomb on me, but here's what you guys don't understand is I'm playing chess I Am bringing a gun to work because I'm making moves that are imperceptible to the fucking slave mine If the fucking there's a reason the fact that he's six eight has single-handedly saved him from being on one of those pedophile hunting streams.

Yeah, of course. Yes. I mean that name... You can't have a 6'8 guy come on there. No, you got it. They have to be like... Dude, to tackle a 6'8 guy, he's got to be built like a fucking stick. If he still throws a jab at you, dude, you're fucked. Yeah, dude. He's got so much power like a fucking stick If he still throws a jab at you do your fucked. Yeah, so much power in six eight limbs. Yeah, it's torque, dude I would I would how about dude? I would love to with four I would love to Do a two two on one Me and another normal-sized guy versus giant pedophiles

But in like a gladiator type thing. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Like towards like, you know, but as like a tag team. Right. OK. Not like not two on one tag team tag team. Yeah, that's tough. See, I would say to fight a giant pedophile, it would be best to go to on one, not tag team. Because here's the problem with tag team. I understand that he could knock both of us out, but I want it to be not so unfair that...

How is it unfair? He's huge. Okay, he's huge, but if you have two men attacking you, typically two versus one wins no matter what. He's six inches bigger. big now are we talking when you say giant are we talking tall and big because to me there's a difference between like six eight two ten and like six eight three he doesn't have to be big he just has okay okay fine fine fine fine um it would be odd i will if victor wim beniana turned out to be a pedophile. I would love to with one other I would love to give a whole village of guys and we Bob sad and

Trying punch him in the legs. Yeah, Don Fry like get the fuck out of here. What are you gonna? Do you yeah? Predators Dude Francis and Ghanu. Oh man dude a meth Alright picture this you and me we abandon the show and and and and forensics and gonna team teaming up as pedophiles against the pedophile streamers Dude so they always it not always but lately more and more what you see these pedophile hunter guys the guys that they get are like

Just they're not... There's something, something going on and I posted about it, a bunch of people got mad at me. I'm not defending pedophiles, but say there's something fucking... Some of these guys don't, they're clearly not all there. I'm not saying it's good, whatever. I don't want to get into it, but... Imagine one of those motherfuckers doesn't show up. Imagine, Francis Ngannou shows up. Just the biggest motherfucker you've ever seen. Do you still try to steal off on his ass?

Do you still try to? Or are you like, hey bro, hey, I'm not even gonna hold you? So the girl that was gonna be here was my friend and she's not here and I was just coming to tell you that she couldn't be here. I was just coming to let you know, bro, like hey, like on some real shit, bro

Like she had to go to child work She her child job called her in last minute, and she's not gonna work at the pillow factory Yeah, she had to go work at the Teletubby store So I was just letting you know as her friend her normal friend that she couldn't come to meet to have sex with you Sorry But you can have sex with you. Sorry. But you can have sex with me instead. Yeah. It was hey, look, if it's any consolation, you could absolutely

treat me like fucking ham if you want. Totally cool with me. But going to keep it a bill. Yeah, she's not here right now. The camera guy, he was just here to film us. It was supposed to be a sweet thing, you know, like a bachelor situation. Just meeting the love of her life or whatever, you know. Yeah. That's why.

Do you imagine if, um, do you imagine if LeBron was challenging, he was catching pedophiles and he was challenging them to one-on-ones For their lives or like a game of horse And it's like if you beat LeBron in a game of horse you get to you're free to go, okay? But if you lose If you lose LeBron folks even if you lose then you have to give him your shirt, and then you can go home

Not really the stakes are just kind of yeah, that's fine Or if LeBron wins, he's free to go. Mmm. Okay, if you beat LeBron you're free to go and LeBron goes to prison instead of you In your stead? He does double the prison time. Yeah, he does. Yeah, okay. So alright. Alright, I like what I like where this is going I need to I need to establish the ground rules this far pedophile hunting twitch stream YouTube stream show where you bring LeBron and and You know upon finding out that you've been had you get a chance if you play LeBron and game of horse if

You win then LeBron goes to jail and instead it does double the time for pedophilia you win, then LeBron goes to jail and you're stood, it does double the time for pedophilia. If LeBron wins, you just have to give him your shirt and walk home shirtless, is that kinda? Yeah. Okay. You can call a Lyft if you want, but. Oh, okay.

We'll pay for it, it's not, we'll write it off. It's a write-off, it's not a huge deal. It's very easy for us to, it's fine. We have a lot of money wrapped up in this. When they, can I ask you you I'm gonna ask you an honest question and and this is serious I'm not fucking with you when they knock on a guy's door or when the guy shows up and he's like Hi, like do you know and do you feel bad at all that they start beating the shit out of him? This is this is what bothers me about that. I feel bad about start beating the shit out of him This is this is what bothers me about that shit. I feel bad about them beating the shit out of anybody

Okay, okay, okay? I just I just my genuine view on it is I don't think that's the way that things should be dealt with in general okay do I feel I feel bad that the guys are getting beaten up on camera because I do think that Go I you know I Think that For the same reason I don't think anybody should get raped in prison you know right in prison I think if you I think you should face the full Consequence of the law I don't think there should be extra judicial stuff done to anybody. Sure. Yeah

Like I don't want anybody getting lynched You know what I mean? It seems like they just want to lynch pedophiles, right? Which I'm not pro-pedophile, but I am anti like lynching in general. Yes. I think it's a slippery slope Yes, and I think historically it has not been put to good use. Yeah. Mobs beating people up. Bad history in this country. The only evidence being provided by a streamer named Vitalee.

A guy in a backward Stars and Straps hat. Yeah. No, I don't think. I don't really think any of it's good. I think and I don't think like entrapping Like mentally ill guys. Yes guys who were like mentally like four years old and yeah, hey, I'm a pretty princess You want to come to my house and then they're like Then you beat them up like fuck. That's not a guy who was going to be a pedophile until you Right hold me. I like my little pony or something

He now should that guy have unlimited internet internet access no no yes, okay? Don't I'm saying you're with me on this. I'm saying I don't think I Mean look I think there's a lot of guys who I Want to word this carefully? I think there's a lot of guys who, I want to word this carefully, I think there's a lot of guys who are mentally low IQ, Yeah. Who need to be better taken care of and monitored more closely,

because that's a lot of who the online messaging stuff ends up being, and they're not, in those cases typically not like active predators yes but should they have unlimited internet access no because you're dealing with somebody who's not a full like mental adult so it's like why would you treat them like one in terms of like what they have access to pun it well and also like letting them like just message people like Like without any supervision

Like, you know, like, you know your family like, you know, like mmm My family just seems kind of like why are they in a position where they can? Do that and there are some people there are some Guys who are not like that who are just genuine sexual predators Yeah, and they should be in you know whatever. I don't know jail or whatever treatment or something They shouldn't be in normal society either Yeah But I don't think the whole mob

Like like getting low-pumped to kick a guy in the chest. I don't think that's justice right I think that's It's just you're just content as an excuse for yeah, yeah, it's fucking slop yeah I know it's like you don't have to be doing that you know what I mean. It's like Why are what why is that the what you're putting out there? You know what I mean? And why are you so obsessed with pedophiles in the first place? I don't fucking think about pedophiles, really,

like, unless it's brought up. And I feel like they get caught a lot by the police. Now, I'm sure there's the ones that don't get caught a lot by the police well now I'm sure there's the ones that don't get cop like Like why like just fucking turn it into the police or whatever and let them figure I don't know that I'm even like pro police even I'm just like why is this a fucking thing where it's like people are monetizing These mostly just low IQ guys who don't even speak English in some cases where I'm like I don't fucking but I I Think a lot of I don't know that with the streamers that all of those are legitimate Pedophiles either I've read rumors and stuff about

Like them just paying immigrants to like yeah Or like extras like bottom of the barrel like Tim and Eric style bottom of the barrel extras like 1000 bucks to be pedophile number three and you have to eat this hot pepper and let little pump kicking the dick Yeah, yeah, I read the same shit or whatever, but it's like alright um It feels very Dist it's okay feels very dystopian or whatever. It feels like culturally end of the fucking road shit.

To pose the following thing, would you watch live footage of three grown men wearing like fucking big dog t-shirts and like fake foam posits and a know, in a trucker hat that says I heart pussy on it. Would you watch those guys beat the absolute dog shit out of a mentally disabled man and give them money for it? Everybody would go, no. And then you go, okay, caveat, what if those guys tricked that man into believing that they were meeting a child or a teenager for sex and ever and everybody's like yeah I mean, I guess I'll watch that that sounds cool, and I understand as you said that it's not great or whatever but When the video is of a dude who's just a bad person or something. I'm with you I'm still like something about this feels fucking

Yeah, slippery. I especially feel evil for even having accidentally seen the video when they're like, what did you come here for? And the guy's like, I don't know, I don't know where I am. And you're like, holy fucking shit. Because you can tell immediately that the guy isn't hamming it up to avoid getting the shit kicked out of him. He's scared for his fucking life. He does not know what's happening. He has no idea. You know, I do it and you read the comments these videos on X the everything app, which by the way great name I'm so glad you came up with that You read them and it's like yeah get what you fucking deserve Wish they would have put one in his head should have tortured him should have fucked him. I

Feel like it's end of the fucking road for us, dude. Like there's a lot of things and people are thinking doom and gloom, whatever the fuck, there's a lot of reasons to feel that way. This for me is one of them and I remember I made some argument about it online and replies were fucking pedophile defender, fucking blah blah blah blah blah. I was like I'm not, I'm with you on this, where it's like, I'm just anti-beating the fuck out of a guy with a clear mental disability. I think that is what I'm anti.

I'm not pro-pedophile at all, but there's something really, really fucked up. I don't care about the, I don't care about the minutiae I don't care about watching a 4k video footage of a guy who cannot read or write getting his head kicked in you know set to like fucking royalty free butt rock but down out bow bow you just beat the shit out of that guy it doesn't seem right I'm sorry or whatever, you know, and, and I think it's like a greater, the replies tell the stuff of this again, it's a greater sign, at least to me,

that we've entered a dope ass part of, of our sort of existence here on earth with each other, you know. Somebody's- I think stuff like that's always gone on, but- Yeah, I don't know but yeah I mean like I mean people used to you know go watch gladiators get eaten by lions and stuff you know and they were bored but sure yeah but you know it's fine I had an

Italian ice yesterday I'd never had one of those. They're dope as fuck dude. They're super good It was really good is coconut Yeah, and I got a large and I should have gotten a small cuz I thought oh that doesn't look very big and then I had a bite now and oh, this is rich Mm-hmm. It's rich and delicious. I've been telling myself that I've been dirty bulking Or the actually you know what I've been telling myself that I've just been bulking or that actually you know what I've been telling myself that I've just been bulking because I've mostly been lifting and doing a little bit less cardio and I've not I want to make it clear that I'm not

Bulking implies that I know what I'm doing and I'm paying attention to anything I'm mostly just working out a fuck ton and eating like a goddamn sick buck fuckton and eating like a goddamn sick buck. Like anything, dude, anything at all. The bar downstairs from my new place has something called Irish egg rolls. It's like a Reuben that they crafted into an egg roll, and they doused it in Thousand Island. It's a nasty, greedy, fat fuck snack for

sick, sweaty bastards. And let me tell you, I ate like six of those motherfuckers today. And then I had a fucking triple decker club sandwich with six sweaty bastards. And let me tell you, I ate like six of those motherfuckers today. And then I had a fucking triple decker club sandwich with french fries. You know what I had last night? A whole goddamn supreme pizza. And I tell people like, oh, how's the, you haven't been back in the gym? Oh, you know, how's that going? And I'm like, dude, I'm losing weight and I'm feeling great and I'm looking great. And that is the truth.

But I don't know if I've accidentally, you lift weights, you've lifted weights a lot, you lift weights a lot. Sometimes I think you can accidentally hit the perfect caloric surplus, you know what I mean? Like not intentionally counting macros or you know, but like the perfect surplus to put on muscle and lose weight, like body recomp, I think is the,

I'm not trying to do that. I've only ever really, when get try to get really healthy, been in a serious caloric deficit. I've really only ever done that. And the guy that I'm working out with now was like, you should try just being in like a very small surplus and do exactly the same thing as you're doing. And I was like, OK, I'll try that. Dude, it's been working like a charm.

And then he'll ask me, hey, you know, what's the diet like? And I'm like, it's awesome super clean Super clean stuff lots of fish lots of rice, you know, dude pizza burgers Fucking you know, and then everybody everything online dirty bulk like, you know tails is like, yep. I'm fat as hell Fat as fuck. I just got better than a motherfucker dude, and I'm like it hasn't happened to me shit, man I'm down eight pounds in like a month and a half and I feel stronger You know what I mean, but it's like I think I'm just if I don't get a handle on it soon You know what I mean? Like I'm just accidentally at like

2600 just accidentally 2700 maybe I Yeah, it's funny. I Have been trying to I was like, you know, I'm gonna lose some weight. Yeah. Yeah, I'm moving to New York I'm gonna be walking a lot, you know foods expensive here I'm gonna be I'm gonna have time to go to the gym more, you know, and I have and I have lost two pounds and Two or three months.

Very awesome. From 208 to 206. You have like a special, you, we're both kind of like this. Dude, when you rolled up to the house after you had that mysterious illness and I saw you and you were like 210, when we like first really ever hung out and did video stuff, you're like 205 maybe,

and then like, dude, like three months later, you come to the house and you're like, I was like, yo, like, you're like, I've been sick for like six weeks, you're like, just stepped on your scale, 171. It's like you lost 50 pounds in what? Like three was like, dude, you have AIDS like and you were like it's a call and at that point we've been friends long enough where you kept doing the thing where you'd like send me a picture of blood in your house and you'd be like I'm good to record. Just give me like 30 like I was concerned for you and you're like yeah 50 pounds in a few months. It's not normal, right? And I was like dude you straight up have a disease Like you're having renal failure like something's up and you're like, I know I remember my doctor was like I Was like, yeah, I've lost like 30 pounds

In a few months and I haven't been trying to lose weight and he was like, well keep it up Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah I was like no I like I well I was working out a lot and something is like well it looks like you were over 200 pounds if you lost that much I was like yeah just a little bit a little bit over but it was it was all muscle well some of it was there what I had must I had muscle I had like a handful of that wasn't yeah, he's like well Yeah, you're probably you could stand to lose a little bit more honestly Yeah, if you lost another ten or so, but if you got down to like 160 or something it probably wouldn't be bad

And I was just like oh yeah, all right. Thank you The fucking doctor again for a while yeah Don't back the next time and I'd and I had gained Like 20 pounds. Well, dude, I was just about to say the next time we hung out you were back up to like 195 And you were like, I'm not sick anymore and I was like you didn't figure out We still have yet to address why you got like a sore throat and then just lost like 40 pounds Just yeah, I had sores in my mouth and on my tongue Lost like 40 pounds just yeah, I had sores in my mouth and on my tongue

Yeah, it's sores so I couldn't eat I eat my mouth with like I couldn't eat regular bites So I would get your boat lay burritos and I would just hold them hold the bites in my mouth till the food sort of Till the tortilla got soft enough, and I just sort of swallowed a hole the tortilla got soft enough and I just sort of swallowed it whole. That was so like that was such a mysterious time, like in our cause around that time I was trying to like make the pod legitimate. And I was trying to get us to the business stuff and it's like, ask, and he's talking to Felix and I'm like, man, the show is like, damn, we had a thousand a month, like this is for real.

And then like, I'm trying to like do, do stand up and do COVID blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and, and you're texting me and you're like, dude, my mouth is covered in sores. I've lost 40 pounds and I've got a little bit of piss in my blood, but I'm gonna come to San Marcos. We're gonna hang out. I just got this truck. I'm like, dude, we need to seriously address

your health concerns, because I think we might get busy soon. And you're like, it's not my problem. Like it will go away. And I didn didn't believe you but we weren't like We were friends and we were doing a show together But I didn't know you well enough to get mad at you I felt like cuz like if it was a guy I'd known ten plus years I'd be like like my buddy camera by Cameron go to go to the fucking like neurologist

Go to go to a fucking cancer doctor, dude, but I didn't know you like that So I and also I'm kind of the same way too like I got Fucking I start like my piss gets a little weird. I'm like that'll be fine I have health anxiety like a motherfucker, but when I'm actually sick. I don't go to the doctor So when all this was happening to you, I was like It'll even itself out or the guy that I do the show with you'll just die like I'll text you dude That would have been such a funny move. Yeah, did you die if I've been like dude? I can't wait for this next episode, and I just pass yeah, you just Yeah, I'm taking of natural causes yeah

Yeah, dude, just a kidney failure like just not going to the and just eating peach ring I would love to the first guy to die of old age at like 21 Yeah, I was like I remember thinking like I Was like, all right. Well, he's lost a significant amount of weight and it's claiming that he didn't intend to he's got swords in His mouth and on his throat and he has his blood is his piss is an orange hue to it I'm not a doctor right? I think my friend is dying Well, the thing is I got tested for mono later and the doctor was like good news. You don't have mono That's what I'm saying ever had it. Yeah, and I was he was like, yeah You can test mono for a long time after you've had it. You didn't have it and I was like

It's kind of bad isn't it What the fuck did I have My lymph nodes were fucking huge in my neck. Yeah, I remember you dude You're you're sitting me your symptoms, dude. This went on for like three months You were like you're like my lymph nodes in my neck and my head and my hips were swollen and like I can't eat And I've lost like 40 pounds and I was like did I for real was like, alright This guy is one of those dudes. I knew growing up This is too fucking like old school for zone good and just straight up has cancer

Got it been so funny if I had cancer. Yeah, but it would be funny if I still had it Yeah, what beat cancer accidentally and then it just came back and killed me when I was like like 28 Yeah the funniest possible out funny as possible thing that happened to you is that you were Yeah, the funniest possible thing that happened to you is that you were unknowingly a miracle case where people like, I prayed for mama, she had breast cancer and I prayed for her and it went away.

Just one of those medical genuine miracles where- I beat prostate cancer at 21. You just didn't even know that, yeah. You just didn't know your body was rife with tumors for like a four month period and you just ate peach rings and drank rain for like six months and it just That just cancer couldn't handle it just straight-up died

Goddamn it. I didn't have any white blood cells to begin with. You're right There's no way for it to multiply. It's just trying to bind to something to multiply Man, yeah. Yeah, I like straight up. There's just a bunch of aspartame. It's trying to bond Yeah, people were asking me because around that time like yeah We were like starting to like like the show was like Moving and things were like happening or whatever and they're like you have a show with that guy from Twitter, right Thomas? I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah Patreon I was doing I'm like I'll make like a hundred month. It's you know helps pay my rent or whatever. It's pretty

Interesting. Like what's he like? And I'm like, well, right now he has like a disease of antiquity. I think he's got, I think he's got a leprosy or something like he has like sores and blint, like he has blisters and stuff. He keeps losing a lot of weight despite only eating candy and like taquitos and stuff. And they're like, damn, is he going to the doctor? I'm like, he won't tell me why his hands bleed all day. So I don't think he's going to a doctor in fucking ten years

Yeah Good times. Yeah, I fucking uh I was doing the exact opposite. We were the guys from unbreakable. I was going I went to the emergency room because I had a panic attack, and I did this like four times in three years and And I did this like four times in three years. And every time I did it, I would see the ER doctor, and I was like, dude, straight up, I've got a bunch of fucking tumors, and you need to take care of this. He was like, okay. And they would run some tests, and I wouldn't have any tumors. He was like, I think you just need to get more sleep, consume less caffeine. And one of them offered me benzos and I told him I wasn't allowed to have them.

And he was like, why? And I was like, oh, because if I have them, like I'll eat all of them. And he was like, I was at my brother this day, we were hanging out, moving some stuff and he was like, what did the doctor do? And I was like, the doctor was like, oh, I'm just kind of out of options. Was just straight. Like I was still I was I was like having really bad like episodes of pain like convincing myself I was dying like writing like my will and my phone notes and stuff and like trying to get my affairs in order and I would just go to the ER and get like a cat scan of my stomach or like, you know Get like random moles cut off me whenever

And one of the doctors who'd seen me like two times in like a year for the same shit, you know, like hypochondriac, whatever the fuck. He was like, it seems like you've been diagnosed with maybe a gene-related anxiety disorder or something, OCD, and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, all that shit. But I don't really like take anything for it. He's like, I can prescribe you, you know, a mild benzodiazepine. Valium typically works pretty well for people with bad health anxiety. But clonopin also works well. It's a bit more fast acting.

I was like, oh, I used to have a clonopin prescription. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like, oh, okay, well, we can get that written up for you and we'll send it off to CVS. And I was like, oh, I'm not allowed to have that stuff anymore. He was like, oh, a side effect or something? And I was like, oh, no, I have this thing where like if I have anything like that, I'll just eat the whole bottle in like two days and wake up two weeks later, like fired. He was like, Oh, well then I don't, we can give you like a Benadryl make you sleepy. They gave me this thing called a hydroxazine.

It's a non-narcotic, uh, anti-anxiety medication. It's literally just an antihistamine. They gave me it to it in a bottle and I took it and then I fell asleep for like a day and a half Which is really annoying because I was having a panic attack and I was like, oh this is gonna they ever give you trazodone Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they did That sucks it makes you so sleep it makes you so drowsy the next day dude I thought I felt like concussed the day after I took trazodone I used to take it to come down from like really bad like

Just doing too much coke like two in the days on end And I would take my trazadone And I would be like Like all geeked up and then I would just close my eyes and I would wake up and I would have missed work in like class and the next day, you know, I'm just like The doctor like how's the trazadone treating you and I would wake up and I would have missed work and like class. And the next day, you know, I'm just like, ehh. The doctor would be like, how's the Tresden treating you? And I'm like, I'm sleeping. But I'm also unemployed.

I like don't have a job anymore and I think I'm failing all my classes because I'm sleeping too much. They should make a pill that makes your um makes your muscles big and makes your peepee big and makes you have a million dollars you could call it it's called the Jake pill take the Jake yeah there's the red pill there's the blue pill there's a black pill there's a white pill and there's the Jake pill and take it and it makes you sure we should call it so take the Jake pill mm-hmm and then when you take it it increases your girth and length by 285% exactly.

Wherever you start at, that's what you end with, and you immediately get a million dollars in your bank account and you become 7% body fat. And a steak materializes in when I eat a steak. Yum. Yum. Yum. Yum I was telling my brother at the time we went to the when I was in New York and we were At that place and I was telling He's like I was in New York and I was like, oh it's cool, you know How's the food and I was like man we went to this fucking place and made me really sick Was there and Thomas walks up to the guy and is like, can I get a slice, just a slice

of your most delicious pizza, please? And Jayden was like, dude, no, he didn't. He was like getting mad for me. He's like, I can't be around people like that. He was just like, I won't stand for that type of behavior. Like we were lugging a big ass desk up the staircase of the loft. And he was like, I don't like that, man. man. It's just like yeah, but it wasn't it wasn't my

Also to immediately for him to treat me a certain type of way when I was just simply trying to ask what was in the chicken wrap He was so nice to you. You can I just get a slice of delicious your most delicious pizza He's like, yeah for sure then I had the audacity to ask him what was in my food. And he was like, ingredients, dude. He was like, chicken, broccoli, sauce. Like, what the fuck do you want from me? I don't fucking know what's in it. All those places.

It was fantastic. All those, there are franchises and they're all called like crispy yummy chicken number 42 or some shit. Like it's all, time every city every borough We went into or whatever and we really I'm talking to but like they're all the same well They're all like it's not the same, but they'll have the same kind of like yummy delicious pizza number 49 And it's owned by like an Indian slave driver and like a bunch of Dominican guys or whatever the fuck Yeah, that's amazing. I love New York City that's where I live that's where I was

born yeah you're in New York but when you grew up in the city you'd learn you know you just when you're a native like me when you grew up and I grew up in Harlem oh fuck yeah I'm gonna I have to take my dogs to go TT. We've been okay if you're listening to this I Got a I'm gonna got some shows for you come to Seattle if you don't live there fly there get your tickets Seattle September 4th at the hereafter Portland at the Star Theater on September 5th and then LA September 10th at the Virgil tickets are live on the Patreon page they're also on our Instagram Padao time worldwide also on Twitter Jake Broads and Leno killer with a zero zero get those tickets also

Go to patreon.com slash Padao time and sign up for the patreon a dollar a month gets you access to the discord Five bucks a month gets you access to the patreon ten bucks a month gets you access to the discord, $5 a month gets you access to the patreon, $10 a month gets you access to the patreon plus video episodes and a backlog of audio episodes, $50 a month just gets you access to all that stuff and you just get to give us a bunch of money. Alright, I gotta head out but... Alright, goodbye soldier. Peace you guys. Peace guys.