Pints With Aquinas - Raising Kids in Sodom w/ John Henry Spann

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

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Hey, welcome to Pints with Aquinas. Thank you so much for listening. If you like Pints with Aquinas and want to support us, you can do that in one of two ways by supporting us on Locals or Patreon. If you go to pintswithaquinas.com slash give it'll let you know there what you get in return. Thanks. Why do people think Black Licorice is Australian? I don't even know.

I've never in my life thought it was Australia. But every time you see Black Licorice like that one, is that all that's on it? It says Wallaby on it. Willy Wallaby, are we on right now? We're live. All right. Hey, so those of you who are at home, probably you've seen my interview with Father Jason Neal. I don't know if you know this or not, but Father Jason was, you know, Father Jason

or Father Chad, as we call him. He went to Ukraine. You know this? I didn't like he's in Ukraine right now He went literally this is how cool he is to save 21 orphans He's somehow associated with an orphanage in Ukraine So he texted me other days like pray for me get everyone to pray for me We're going to Ukraine with the only two people flying in there right now I'm like, all right, so my wife and I have been praying for him constantly

I want to share a text message exchange that took place at like midnight last night. Um, is this weird that you're like, I'm not even talking to you. No, I'm into the text message. I tried to read it earlier, but your phone was made in. Yeah, it's impossible to use. I said this, uh, my wife has been praying multiple rosaries for you in the middle of the night. I have also been praying. He writes back, get all people you can to pray. So this is kind of why I'm reading this text message thread right now.

Please pray for father Jason for his friend, Alan, and these orphans are getting out of Ukraine. He says this, very critical situation here. And they text back miracle. All kids escaped Kiev area and arrived here yesterday. Today, Kiev is completely encircled. He's still there, by the way. It sounds like he's left Kiev, but he's still in Ukraine, or at least was when he texted that.

He says, unless Saint Michael intervenes, it will be a humanitarian catastrophe, unlike anything the world has seen since World War Two. Twenty one orphans with me and Alan So cool man, he's like we are making a dash to border today, but need another miracle finding a bus So I'm like praying for him laying in bed at midnight So I can relate because on the way here we had to stop by Walgreens to get some mucinics, right? So I'm also dealing with similar exactly Pain is relative

He says and I said, I know there's a ton of people here praying for you We want to help like we need to take some of these orphans adopt them or whatever. Let us know and he says I'll help But first we need to get them out then pray they all receive visas very critical. We'll tell you more later I said, okay, we're're praying he says Putin is evil and the silly phone so-called Catholics who are praising him he's like if I hear them do that again I won't hold my tongue anyway so they made it to a bus they're on the way to Bosnia so they're out they're out right now they're not in Ukraine right now that's right yeah so that So that cool.

That's amazing. So pray for Father Jason. And he's here. Right. He's a student. He is in Carnegie, Pittsburgh. Who cares? It's super. John Henry is so good to have you on the show. I'm pumped. Yeah. Really excited.

Yeah. Yeah. We were talking about this morning that like you and I've been friends for a while, a long time. And you remember the early days of pints with Aquinas before Trump even ran for presidency. So you remember the early days of pints with Aquinas before Trump even ran for presidency So I remember the first I remember when you made just the audio podcast Yeah, right because I assigned the audio podcast to my kids when I was a theology teacher in Duluth, Georgia and I said they need to they had to just listen to the podcast like a

30-minute deal and the first one was like an introduction to Aquinas and philosophy and thermistic thinking and all of this stuff. And this precious ninth grade girl that I had walks up to me and she pulls up an iPad and she says, is this what you wanted us to listen to? Because your third or fourth or most recent episode was wet dreams. What does Thomas say on wet dreams? Yeah.

And I had to explain to this ninth grade girl, like no, no, no, I'm so sorry. I'll talk to him. Yeah, True story. I had to explain to this ninth grade girl like no no no I'm so sorry. I'll talk to him. Yeah. Yeah. That's true though. Just so everybody knows Aquinas does address wet drapes. It's so crazy. And you can find out on episode three or four of Fights with Aquinas. It's the only one that I remember that I got tucked away. But we're now like episode 528,000. That's wild. Yeah I have a headache too. That's so funny. I was reading you those text messages this morning can we swing by Walgreens because I've got something in my I got some stuff in my nose it's yeah it's better now I think it's the

Pittsburgh whatever I told you I just got a second ago talking about Ukraine yeah Ukraine releases prisoners with combat experience to fight in oh my gosh that's awesome is he loud enough or should we push the mic closer to him you pull a little closer? Just pull it a little closer to your mouth and my mom texted me. She says I love you mom Let's just read text messages the entire time. She says I'm watching with your wife and kids. Oh, that's great What if all we did for the next five hours is read updates on Ukraine? We just I was thinking we just share Ukraine means back and forth you want to share the one you? Sorry, I don't know. Yeah, that's like perfect

But anyway, it's really great to have you you are what's your role at St. John Bosco Academy? So my title is Dean of academics. I'm like an assistant principal or so at a school. Yeah, talk to people about that school It's incredible. I mean that can I start a little before that? Yeah, please start with it I won't I won't name names of schools because I respect I respect a lot of the people who work in some of the schools that I've been at before but I've worked in Catholic education for 12 years maybe 2010 2011 something like that since I got married right early on and When I say work in Catholic education, I mean that in the most like loose

Sense possible right lots of schools, especially where I was recently before Bosco that have is crucifix. They say the Hail Mary. There's a religion lesson. And then that's it. Yeah, there's a religion lesson, but it's comparative, you know, whatever. A lot of times just relativistic nothingness. Yeah. Catholic education. Oh, good. All right.

So it's a beautiful face. You got it. And so I thought that's what it was. Right. We're looking at homeschooling, we were looking at all these different things. I was a principal of a school over in Gwinnett County and kind of had this big mission disagreement, somebody who I loved dearly left and I was no longer gonna be able to run some things

like I had run things and I looked everywhere. I looked out, we sent resumes to Lander, Wyoming, right, Wyoming Catholic College. I was looking at Beloit, Kansas School up in New Ulm next to the convent or my sister-in-law I we looked everywhere trying to find a like an authentic place to go and where I wanted to work Where I had forever was a school called st. John Bosco that had no money and I knew they couldn't afford me, right? It was not because I'm not expensive, but I have to feed a wife and got four kids. She's pregnant with number five, so prayers, prayers please.

And so I reached out to, but I reached out to them anyway, and to Julie Wilborn, who's wonderful, she's one of the founders, Julie and Vivian, Kim McDonald, I owe my life and all my happiness right now to them, other than my family. But I reached out to them, I said, I know you don't have any jobs, but do you have any jobs?

Can you pay me? And they said no. Yeah. They said no. And then a month later, they said, why don't you come in? Why don't you come in and hang out? And so I went and I- Can I just pause for a second?

Did you quit your previous job? How did that work? I did that thing you're not supposed to do where you're in like a big meeting and they say, well, we're letting somebody go. And then you say, well, if you're getting rid of them, you can kick my ass out. I mean, it was really, I was like,

I'll get out of here, Ted, and say it exactly like that. I'll leave too. And so I did that. I sent in a letter of resignation and like the clock was ticking. And you're like, Ange, we have no money. Sorry, babe, we gotta eat. But we worked it out.

And I ended up going there. And I knew it was a good school. My son had gone there in pre-K, but then he left because my boss had said, hey, these are weird optics. You're the principal of our high school, but your kid isn't going to our pre-K, our kindergarten. So we started homeschooling them exclusively

because we wanted authentic, real life Catholic education. And then we were, yeah, when I went in to talk to him, I knew it was better, but I didn't know how good it was. And so we had this great meeting back and forth, and we were sitting at the table and talking about, you know, whatever, my philosophy of education and all this. It was good. But then I said, can I go sit in on some classes?

Right? And I went and I sat in on, I think it was a church history class, and little Miss Savannah Bell, she was getting married this weekend, or not this weekend, this summer, June. They had read Humana Vitae the night before, right? And I've done this, man.

Humana Vitae is all the stuff that's uncomfortable to talk about at the kitchen table, it's cool, right? I've taught it to that group full of kids, and it's like the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan, of just like, my mom says, and hands up, and like everyone I've ever met's on birth control, and I've been on birth control since I was 11, and all of this stuff right and just starts pouring out

as this back wall so I'm pumped I'm gonna sit in the back and just enjoy this slaughter take play not a part of it just watch this poor teacher who is good I knew she looked great like she had everything together I knew these kids were just gonna eat her alive I was so excited for that and really terrible yeah it's like watching a watching a train push train wreck I can't get this mic yeah just just gotta keep it like that. You want me to just stay like this? Because I want them to hear the gold you're spitting out. Right, right, right.

So you're afraid for the teacher. So she stands up in front of the classroom, the teacher does, and she says, does anybody, any thoughts? You read Humana Vitae last night, and Savannah Bell, this little girl in the front row, beautiful girl, friendly, just the kind of, you know, sort of your popular girl that looks like,

she's got a lot of friends, she's really cool. She raises her hand, I'm thinking, oh yeah Here we go here. We go and she says So the effect of I don't know how anybody could disagree with Paul the six when all of his predictions have come true She sounds like Ben Shapiro. She was One after the other all these kids are raising their hands and they're saying the same thing like yeah I'm a percent like I mean you look at the justification of women and whatever and who are you? What is this? What is going on? It was cool. Yeah, and then that was my lights light bulb of yeah, 100% like I mean you look at the objectification of women and whatever and who are you? What is this? What is going on? It was cool. Yeah, and that was my lights light bulb of yeah, 100% I don't care what they pay me. Okay, they can you know, they can just give me like food stamps and so prior to that moment

We just did you think like all Catholic schools had done this? No, it was better, but I didn't know how good I knew that the administration was better Right and that's tends to be what happens. You have admin where you have a really solid theology department or a really solid principal, but there's this whole mechanism of we need money and butts in seats, so we're gonna sacrifice mission, right, we're gonna sacrifice all the things that make it authentically Catholic

to make sure that we can keep the doors open. It's what everywhere does. What's your take on Catholic, so you got a great school you're at, it's a hybrid school, right? They come a couple of days a week? Yeah, so K through eight, they're there two days, you're there Monday, Wednesday, or Tuesday, Thursday, and high school's Tuesday, Thursday, Friday.

What's your take on Catholic education as a whole in general? Like America-wide? Yeah. Like in your experience, because you've been a principal. It's in a gutter. Yeah, how so? Totally. I mean, I think it all comes back to, that's a good idea.

I'm going to do that in a second too. I think it all goes back to this idea of we want to be good schools that are Catholic, as opposed to we want to be good Catholic schools. Okay. If that makes sense. Yeah. Right? And so the concern is we got to get kids into good colleges.

We got to get, make sure they're all NCAA, whatever, so our athletes can do it, make sure they get lots of scholarships and they're eligible for all these, whatever. I'm the Dean of Academic, that's my title, I don't care about academics at all. I say that at the open house, and that's, maybe that's a little,

I care about it, but like this much. Why don't you care about academics? Because it's the least important thing you're doing when you're 14, 15, 16 years old. Good grades are convenient, right? Like money, money is convenient But it's not what's important right? I'm not happy. I'm not fulfilled I'm not the person I'm not working to be the man that I'm supposed to be because I have a lot of money because I

Got good grades who cares right here's education, and this is Catholic education But it's education in general right little Johnny. I normally stand up and do this I'm having a hard time sitting still, but I'm gonna do it little Johnny is born look at precious little Johnny He's a child of God and he's beautiful and his mind is blank. He's just gonna be filled with goodness, right? And we take little Johnny and probably little Johnny's mommy and daddy works.

Little Johnny goes to daycare, right? And when Johnny turns four, we put Johnny on this assembly line, right? And little Johnny spends the next, what, 12 years or whatever going down this assembly line of a little bit of math and a little bit of science and oh, here's some foreign language and here's some help. Oh, and if I'm in a Catholic school, we'll say to Hail Mary before we learn about that. And we go down to the end of the assembly line where we get the privilege of going to

college on another little assembly line where all I'm doing day in, day out with my education is I'm consuming information to then regurgitate onto a test so that I can do it again right over and over and over again and at the end of that if I go through college right then I get the privilege little Johnny does of paying taxes until the day that I die and who cares who cares yeah your grades don't matter I want I want to get good grades it's nice it makes my life easier yes for sure it's more convenient because everybody's getting F so like what's going on your classes but we get I mean we I can brag on colleges, right?

We get kids into good schools and everything. Notre Dame and Columbia, that's what you're about. But I get more excited about the fact that we've got a couple of our kids getting married this summer, some alumni who are fantastic, awesome, well-formed kids who are fulfilling their vocation. I'll brag about that. I don't care about their Miller scholarship.

So what should it look like? If you would have kind of, good luck, this thing's almost dead. We might have to borrow your matchbox. But like if you were to try to rewrite that, you're talking about little Johnny going to school, being on a conveyor belt. I'd want to know what that looks like. And I'm going to keep talking until you've lit your cigar.

There's no way you're going to get that. No way. Do you want to throw that in him? Yeah. Thank you. So wait, so what's the question? If I could rewrite it. Yeah.

So like you're a critic of putting little Johnny on the conveyor belt as you see it and him going through school and regurgitating information and then going into another conveyor belt and then paying taxes and dying. How, so all right, what should it look like? I mean this to sound less tongue in cheek than it's gonna sound, but I think we should start by,

if I could do it my way, taking a match to 90 percent of the schools. Right. We have to read. I mean, seriously, I I will. I will say out loud publicly. I don't think public education is a great thing. No, necessarily. Right. I don't think I don't think that we have a right to education that should be provided by our government or anything like that.

And we didn't. Right. And I don't know about the history of education. I mean, I can't dig, dig into it. But in the early 20th century, there weren't public schools everywhere. You had parochial schools that were incredibly affordable, right? Or free through parishes or people who tithed. There's still, is Kansas City or somewhere out there where the bishop says, if you tithe, then you're free. Your Catholic tuition is paid for. Yeah. But it has to, it goes deeper than just burning down schools, which is great. I'm not endorsing domestic terrorism on here. I'm not saying we should, I'm not saying you should do that. Whoever's watching from St. John Bosco, don't do that. But I think we have to reimagine, or not reimagine, just remember the purpose of education in general. Which is what?

Just remember the purpose of education in general, which is what? Fulfilling vocations and salvation. I mean that's everything right salvation is everything The goal is to get little Johnny into heaven and that sounds cheesy and but it's true. Yeah, it's 100% way things are and When you when you orient what you're doing around that and you say things out loud like like, listen, your grades are, it's good to get good grades, that'll make your life easier, but really what I care about is you, little Johnny. I love you, I say that to kids all the time, it sounds awkward when you're saying it on here,

but they doubt for me, I wish we brought a crew of them in here, like I love you, like I love you as an individual, not you as one of my students, I love you, Matt, and I want what's best for you. And if you fail a couple classes, it's not the end of the world Yeah, we'll get you back there because we love you. I want you to I want you to be saved Yeah, I wonder if people's mentality is shifting on this altogether Like I know I grew up in Australia and university wasn't something that people did I mean not even half of my graduating class went to university, because it's not like it is here in America.

When I started dating my wife, Cameron, telling her parents I hadn't been to university felt like telling someone in Australia I didn't go to high school. That's interesting. Yeah. But I feel like a lot of Americans are kind of thinking, yeah, why are we doing this?

Why are we getting in tons, mountains of debt, just so you can come out with some useless degree? I don't think enough are I mean? I think we've just had sort of this pipeline forever of if you want to be successful you go to college We were talking about the truck driver the other day the cigar bar who is talking about his uh Whatever his union president or something was sweeping and mom said to her little child And he overheard her saying if you if you want to grow up to be like that guy Then you won't go to college and that's ridiculous yeah this is a terrible thing

to be telling kids but colleges in general I mean I like college I'm all about college but I'm not all about what 90% of people do I'm a big fan of like the liberal arts sort of you should go here because learning is worth doing right you should learn because it's good for you and you it'll help you achieve salvation eventually mm-hmm that's why you should be here. Not to make more money for whatever. Yeah, no, it is nuts how things have deescalated, have regressed. Well, how many people go to college and get a degree in history or something so that they

can go be a hostess at Applebee's for the rest of their life, right? Yeah. I got a degree in history and then I went, I was a firefighter. I know I don't care really, it's funny. Like I see my kids advancing, even just in the discussions we have, you know, kind of Socratic back and forth about government and Biden and salvation and different religions.

I see them thinking critically, I see them as happy children, because I'm like you, like I actually don't really care that much if my kids know all this stuff. It would be nice, and I'm all you, like I actually don't really care that much if my kids know all this stuff. It would be nice, and I'm all about trying to make it happen, but not at the expense of sending them to some awful school that's gonna endanger their souls and indoctrinate them

into the LGBTQ stuff or whatever. I think practically speaking, college is really great for networking, it's really good for spouse shopping, and it's really good if you want to be a structural engineer. Right, if you have a very definitive Yeah, I want to be a surgeon. I want to be an aviator Technician or something like that right that makes sense, but so many of us just go because we're supposed to go

This is stupid reason to go mmm Yeah, like my daughter's homeschooled right now, and she's learning how to crochet and cook and bake and she goes to gymnastics She's making you a quilt making me a quilt. She's so beautiful. She's one of the most interesting individuals I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. And I know she'll make a beautiful wife one day. Should God call her to that vocation. She's happy. She's got friends, but we're not. I'm so glad we're not sending it to these Catholic schools. But listen, when we talk negatively about Catholic schools, we offend a ton of people. And I really am not in the business

of just offending people for fun. And I also know that there are a lot of good people who love their Catholic school and really hope that it's gonna work out. And what do we know? I haven't visited every Catholic school. Maybe you're sending your kid to a great Catholic school. So I'm, you know.

Well, I wanna say too, there's a lot of really great people involved in Catholic schools. But just from sort of the big picture structural business model of these schools, you have to sacrifice mission in order to keep these schools open, right? You've got, you have to have a thousand people,

butts in seats every day in order to keep the lights on and the teachers paid and to continue to move this thing forward that you have created that has tried so desperately to keep up with the public school system Why Bosco why my school is great, right? And there's a lot of schools like it's not just Bosco, but I'm a fan of Bosco, right? Yeah, but why it's great

I think is because it was founded it was created by people who were totally unqualified to start a school and it's not a knock On my bosses, right? That's a huge thumbs up. We're good because they came in with this like how do you do this? I don't know. We'll figure it out. There's there's none of this Here's how you do this schools are supposed to be like this So this is the policy that every other school has when we do this and that's been amazing Well, what freedom you know, especially a good Catholic schools versus like run-of-the-mill Catholic schools at this point What things are you able to do in this good Catholic school that you weren't in other Catholic schools? I think a lot of it, the most important stuff I do is outside the classroom for starters.

So I teach an ancient history class on ancient Greek and ancient Roman history up through the fall of the Roman Empire. And then I teach a theology of the body class to juniors. Right? So before we leave history, we're getting a lot in chat about Rome fell in 1476. And then I teach a theology the body class to juniors, right? So Before we leave history, we're getting a lot in chat about Rome fell in 476 AD. Yeah. Yeah, there's there's my there's probably my kids Many other all saying they know you I love you guys. I do Yeah, so I so I teach so I teach those two classes that's great right the classroom stuff is is it's fun

And you can talk about whatever But the stuff that's not part of the curriculum because we have to check boxes So the state of Georgia says our diplomas count right I want kids to be able to go to college and Make a lot of money and donate to an endowment fund and you know then whatever but I want to go to heaven more So most of the important stuff comes in Conversations with the kids things that I can talk about things that I I would not be allowed things that would get me fired To talk about anywhere else I can sit down with a group of kids on Fridays for instance, right? So I teach ancient history Tuesday Thursday Friday and on Fridays

We don't talk about history we talk about things that you should talk about and that can be anything it can be We're gonna talk about transgender ism. That's big in the news today. We can talk about the we talk about things that you should talk about and that can be anything it can be we're gonna talk about transgenderism that's big in the news today we can talk about the Ukraine that's big in the news we can talk about LGBTQ stuff we can talk about what it means to be a man like to be masculine or to be feminine or to what and the older they get the more open they are and by junior year theology the body the entire every time we meet that's what it is It's what are you dealing with right? What what do you need because like loving the kids is great. That's cute We all say that right we're not different because we love kids

Yeah, every school is gonna say that they love their kids But we're different because at least I think at least our goal we're hoping to you need to know that they are loved Right they need that they need to, not just you say you love me, but you do love me. And when I bring something up, I've got that vulnerability, because we're all pathetic, right? We're all broken and disordered and...

Desperate needs of affirmation. And affirmation and identity, we're in need of identity. That's what I love about our school, is there's this, we'll say who we are, right? There's a healthy tribalism that exists there. Every other school I've ever worked in, there are all these kids who are constantly kind of moaning and whatever about, sorry I'm trying to curse on your show, but who are always complaining about, oh I wish you were here, I wish you were there. We've got a couple of those, but whereas the typical Catholic school,

I think, is like 90% not great, just like the public school, right? It's like, it's just a public school with money. 90% of the kids are into all the crap and whatever, and 10% are like, really, they're good kids, and they're fighting, and they're striving, and whatever. I think we're the inverse. I think 90% of our kids are awesome.

That's really great. Like, positive peer pressure is a dumb word. And do you attribute that to the inverse like 90% of our kids are really great like positive peer pressure is a tribute that to the parents sending the kinds of parents and families are growing up in or is it the way you school them I mean I'd love for us to take credit for but it's mostly parents yeah it's mostly there's all sorts of filters of weirdness to do this thing because first of all it's you know only in school three days a week right which means you probably have a parent you gotta have a parent who's staying home or kids gotta be willing to come to work with mom or dad.

Neil, would you mind putting a link to St. John Bosco Academy in the description? Oh, it's the worst website ever. You sure you want to do that? Well, I mean, I just want to let people know, like, we're not here to promote John Bosco Academy. We're here to talk about good Catholic education. And I think you've told me you're actively discouraging people from joining the school at this point. No, I'm not overactively discouraging, but we're not. Just because you have so many, I thought. We have, yeah, we've got waiting lists across the board at the end

I just want to know this is not like a gigantic ad for John Bosco But if people are interested in looking at a hybrid school I mean there's others like Regina Chaley Academy and other great schools out there Well, I will say we last updated our website in like 1994. It looked horrible. I'm almost positive My name's not even on it. I've been there for three years. Oh, it's not enough What I said, I actually suggested this I said. I said to our admissions director a while back, can we just instead of the website just do a direct link to me just listing off things that are going to offend people and scare them away from the school? What would that look like? Let's record it right now and we'll send it to Julie Wilbon. We'll make this a clip go no every so every single interview when I sit down with parents, right?

I say we're gonna tell your child birth control is mortally sinful. We're gonna tell your child that dudes can't marry each other We're gonna tell your child that masturbation and pornography. We're not gonna do this when they're seven By the time they're in high school. Yeah, we're having those conversations because we're serious. Yeah, right. It's capital t truth It's orthodox legit. Have you ever had parents be offended by walkout? How what happened tell me about that? She just stood up and said thank you so much I don't think we need to continue and I said great bye. Yeah perfect and good You don't waste your time and she'd have to waste her time. Well, because I think it's a track So I'm gonna quote Osama bin Laden great. All right, okay

And I think this is attributed to him a long time ago. It's probably goes to you, but he said something to the effect of when a man sees, when a young man sees a strong horse and a young man sees a weak horse, he's always gonna go with the strong horse. Yeah. Right? And that's what's happening in our society right now is when you're dumbing down the church

and you're dumbing down truth and goodness and you look at it and instead of seeing like, I remember that when I sort of had my little reversion to Catholicism. I wanted shields and swords in churches. I didn't want some effeminate man with a purple banner and a sheep on it. Like, tell me to be nice, right?

And so we need that strength and we need that identity. Our kids are desperate for that and they don't have it. I was thinking the other day I Was talking to a group of kids about this I think our group of parents Do you remember in the I guess from the 90s on or whatever your Bill O'Reilly's and all your talking heads we talk about The culture war right is that there were this culture of sort of right-wing values and this culture of left-wing values, right? And they were in competition against one another but But I don't like that at all. I don't like that because there's not a culture war.

There's not a culture war. There's a culture, right? There's people who believe things are true and real. And then there's nothing. There's a malaise, relativistic, empty, tapioca colored nothingness. I don't know why it's tapioca colored, but that's the way I always think of that.

And that's what we're fighting against. I'm not worried any of our kids, any Catholic kids who are solid in their faith right now, I'm not worried that any of them are gonna go off and be converted by like Joey the Presbyterian, who's like, hey buddy, will you mind? That's never gonna happen. I'm worried they're gonna fall

into this agnostic atheistic nothingness I said I got an email about this I Would rather my son grow up and join the Taliban or ISIS or any objectively evil? Organization then have him grow up and just be you know a dad who really likes football and Are you gonna have to explain this why I like where you go some have been laudan and now it's a Taliban and that's finally a five minutes no but some I think most people in our culture right that's what masculinity is right we I watch football I really like my lawn yeah

you know and my my wife probably doesn't respect me and my kids grow up and they don't really return my calls and I don't really stand for anything. I don't have any fire burning in me. I just sort of exist and the end all be all of my existence is just be nice, just don't hurt people's feelings. I don't wanna do that. No, that's awful.

And the reason I'm saying I would rather my kid join some horrible organization as opposed to that is because then at least he's burning for, I can work with a fire. He's burning for something, he's got something in there. And that's what so many of our kids don't have. It's pathetic, it's so sad. I see that when I go and speak at Catholic schools

a lot of the time. I look out at people and I just, maybe it's just me imposing my preconceived ideas upon them, but they just seem sort of glazed over and uninterested. I heard, it was Dr. Andrew Swofford who said to me and he's somebody who teaches at what's that Kansas School University in Kansas yeah Benedictine half of our kids go there every year he said he said I'm convinced because he said you can you get there's

a notable difference between those who are homeschooled and those who go to regular school noticeable difference he says I'm convinced that if all you did was read the Lord of the Rings or other good books to your kids on the couch, your house is a mess, whatever. Sure. They would end up head and shoulders above those who go to school. Why do you do? I know you agree with that. Why is, why do you think that's the case? I think that school and it's not school, it's it's just modern what I mean I can rant and sound like a conspiracy theorist about Hollywood and the media and what but I feel like everything is directed towards the tearing down of culture and

identity to be replaced with nothing that was me when I was a kid I know who I was I don't know what my identity was or my culture my parents who I loved to death right my father was the best man of my wedding right a lot of the focus was just be nice like help people when they need to be helped yeah and and whatever and don't disrespect other people's views but it wasn't like here but here's what we believe it ought to be yes is what we stand for yeah unapologetically we're not pulling punches and then there's all the other stuff and you should still be nice sure but if the end will be all of like what you're trying to raise your kid to be as a nice guy. Mmm

It's gross who cares. Yeah. Yeah, I agree in high school. We were taught kind of aboriginal Dream story myths with more seriousness than we were religious truth that were actually factual, right? And and here's another sort of indictment kind of against this society when I came to Christ at the age of 17 I just wanted to be radical for Jesus Christ And for me that meant just become a priest and so I was all about becoming a priest and my mom who was nervous About that and who wanted grandkids God bless her said why don't you just become a social worker? Because I had her mind a priest is a social worker who doesn't have sex. Right. That's it, that's the only difference.

But I think that's everywhere. I mean, the number of atheists, and I don't know where the stat comes from, I could be making it up, but I'm pretty sure I've read this. Comes from here. I heard on Pines with Aquinas. The number of atheists that we have in the world is decreasing, while the number of agnostics is exploding.

Once again, I'll take a militant atheist over and let's stand for something. And we all want that. And we have to have that almost like worked out of us by a culture that doesn't care. It's relativism, right? It's modernist. Nothing. It's like an undue epistemological modesty or an inordinate epistemological modesty, or an inordinate epistemological modesty, where someone just stands back and refuses to make a choice because maybe they've been told that everything's true or you only have your truth and so it doesn't really matter. And so we just sort of stand back because you don't want to offend anybody.

And if I take any kind of position, although I say that, but I mean, look at the militant left in this country today. What are they standing for? That's what they're doing though. They're filling that gap with anything. Literally anything. It can be, I should cut off my penis and become a woman. Yeah. Right? I have to have something that's me that makes me special. I should cover myself, and I'm not knocking tattoos in general, but you see this all the time.

Let me cover myself with tattoos and whatever and carry around the big rainbow banner because I just desperately need something to stand for please. Yeah, please I'm here I want to be noticed I want to be seen I want to be a part of something and I don't have that I'm out on this plank from the time that I was a little baby Just told to be nice and that your opinion is just as good as so-and-so's and there is no truth I mean we say that openly right now. I'm with you and your truth little your truth when you talk about an effeminate church We completely get that but let's speak to that a bit more help us understand what you mean by that and what we need to change if we're gonna have any to have an effeminate church you

know I mean I can tell you what I think the the solution is to the church waiting around until these guys die it sounds horrible but and I've heard people complain about well the College of Cardinals is stacked in this direction and there's no way we're gonna get we're gonna have sort of these modernist you know kind of baby boomer immediate post Vatican II, I'm not some anti-Vatican II guy, but these these popes forever. No we're not. Like I just I went for a walk this morning in Pittsburgh and I ended up popping into mass and speaking I don't even know what his name was, father whoever, he was probably 30 years old on fire talked to me for way longer than I

wanted to talk masculine just yeah from the depths of Africa dude you give me a give me a pope from the anywhere just walk through a rainforest at the equator in Africa find a guy you see make him Pope I'm down and it's hilarious right you look at like the Amazonian Senate, or whatever Senates are going on. I know I'm all over the place, but. And the Germans are all there like, we should ordain women deacons,

and divorced people should get married. Or should get a uterus. Meanwhile, there's like the dude from Uganda sitting in the back who's Boko Haram, killed 14 nuns at a convent. Can we talk about actual problems? It's beautiful, they get it. They understand because they haven't lived

in our Western decadent nothingness where we don't feel like we have real problems so we invent these stupid made up problems. But you do see a return to a desire for traditional gender roles, sex roles, right? You see a desire for that gender roles, sex roles, right? You see a desire for that and leaning into that, even in secular ways, like the art of manliness,

I don't know if that's a Christian guy who runs out of what, but there is this desire. You see that in the traditional movement, right? Where it was like men wanna treat themselves with respect and so they dress in a suit or whatever. And again, the point isn't to demonize people who don't wear suits to mass. The point just to say like there's this longing for something Yeah, but sometimes that comes off as artificial. But what do you think I?

Think kids in particular are gonna Gear towards what they see is the the strong horse, right? Yeah over and over and over again And if mom and dad aren't presenting here is here's who we are If you're not gifting your child an identity, we're made to have identities. We're made to live in communities with similar people, with like-minded people, which is another thing I love about Bosco, it's another thing I love about Regina Chaley

or any of these small Catholic communities. Yeah. And if you don't show that strength, especially as dads, I blame everything on dads, just about, right? But if you don't have somebody in your life showing you that strength and sort of grabbing you and saying, come on, this is you, this is us, here's what we're doing, it can be anything

to fill that void, because we all want that void filled. But if you don't have somebody doing that and pointing you in the correct direction, then you're gonna find something else to fill it. I mean, you can talk about anything from the transgender stuff to gangs to a hundred different people are PETA, right? Whatever it is. Yeah, you're gonna fill that with some radical strength from somewhere because we have to have yeah

We want to be dogmatic about something something we have to be truth or something else on the left It's a it's a religion right in a lot of ways. It really feels like that I often say that the the mask is to woke is and what the scapular is to catholicize I just seem like a token of group identity. Because we want that. We think we're beyond that. We pretend we lie to ourselves and say, no, that's old like tribalistic, you know,

living in the woods, painting ourselves, whatever. Like, no, that's you. They were just as human as you are. They were the exact same, they had the same souls and the same concupiscence and the same brokenness and the same desire for belonging that you have back then. And we can't pretend like we're past it. So when you talk to your teens about masculinity and femininity, like what does that look like and how do they respond to it? So I'm actually doing something for homework

for my theology body class this week that I'm really excited about. Sort of in that same same vein. I had them all write for homework ten non-physical attributes that they find attractive and members of the opposite sex and ten Non-physical attributes that they find unattractive right so attractive and unattractive and then I read them all out loud, right? I don't say you know Penny Sabala says that she really likes guys who are this right? I don't do that. Yeah But what we do is we I read these out loud and they're all beautiful. They really are. I mean, some kids will just write 10 quick bullet points. Yeah.

I had a kid last year who wrote like a tome, like one of these guys of just like a paragraphs on each. Wow. And the guys will always say, here's what I want, right? I want someone who's loving and nurturing. They'll say like good sense of humor and stuff. Someone who's good with kids's loving and nurturing they'll say like good sense of humor and stuff someone who's good with kids Who's what they'll say all these traditionally feminine authentic beautiful things about you know what they really find attractive

And then the girls will say I want someone who is strong. I want someone who respects me I want someone who doesn't use bad language, you know when he's out with me or make dirty jokes in front of me I want somebody who respects themselves somebody who's not addicted to pornography And the point of that is so I can look at these guys and look at these girls in the eye and say, see, they want you to be like you want to be. Because I still believe that. I do believe that we all want to be that. Right? We sacrifice our dignity. We sacrifice our masculinity, our authentic masculinity for the sake of being this cartoonish whatever that we feel like we have to be or else we're going to be left alone. We're not going to be, we're going we have to be or else we're gonna be left alone

We're not gonna be we're gonna be lonely. Mm-hmm And so we're willing to sacrifice our dignity and our self-worth to do that. I was talking to girls in class Friday I think and we were talking about girls who post pictures right online or send nudes or send you know, lots of bikini pictures or lingerie pictures that they send around and All of them all of them were saying we don't nobody wants to do that the girls They're doing that because they're just they're desperate for attention. Yeah, love me. Please love me. So we're all doing I'm just as broken as they are I always I keep coming back to that because it's really important to say out loud

Yeah, I can I can point to anybody who's listening to this right now, right and you and Neil and whoever and I can tell you All the things about you because I'm doing this right now, right, and you and Neil and whoever, and I can tell you all the things about you, because I'm doing the same thing, right? You worry that you're not good enough and that you're not lovable and that you're not interesting enough, right? And we're all just little balls of self-conscious whatever, because we're falling and we're broken.

And you have to acknowledge it. You have to reach down and engage out loud with those things. You brought up a great point last night. We were drinking bourbon at a pub in Pittsburgh and you pointed out how you hate when men say they have a man cave and I just love that. That's the nice thing about long-form discussions. We just talk about what we want to talk about. It doesn't have to go in any kind of order. Yeah, so tell us about that. So what does a man cave say? Right? A man cave says my house, my castle is my wife's.

Yeah. But I'm relegated to this room and in this room, my football, my cool stuff up. Right? Yeah. I think that's gross. It is gross. I really, I never thought of that before. Yeah.

You're, you're supposed to be the head of your household. But it's supposed to be your castle. And I don't care at all about the interior design of my home. Like my wife and I, we're building a house right now. We've got the architect plans done. All of this is great. Angie has had a big hand in it.

But I have come in and said, no, I really want a wood-burning fireplace. And I really want a big front porch. And I really wanna, I keep calling it poop really want to I think I keep calling it poop closet But I think it's a water closet. You know the toilet that's separate from the shower area that way In Australia was like that. That's beautiful Right what is that about America, and I've got five little kids right and a puppy right now And so I'll be going to the bathroom and just see hands like here's the movie signs

Yeah, yeah, just trying to get in at me. So anyway, right? I was saying Oh, here's the things I want and then when we decorate or whatever. I've got I'm a big hunter right? I've got deer heads I want a deer head over the piano or or whatever and I'm not just gonna say no you make this your feminine paradise And I'll take the shed out back. Maybe we could wire some electricity to it pretty please darling. You know I think it's gross I think and what's interesting too is the woman doesn't want a husband who's like that either It's not like the woman wants an emasculated effeminate man But I feel like a lot of times they feel like they kind of have to have to settle in a way

right well, I think if a woman's only options are a Right. Well, I think if a woman's only options are a Tyrannical husband who looks at porn doesn't care about her I mean if that's what you're dealing with sure then a Masculated husband who's relegated to there does seem better. Well, those are two those are two bad options Those are the two options that we feel like are presented to us I can be effeminate and weak and meek or I can be just as brazen machismo Whatever who by the way those guys at least in my experience their whole masculinity is driven by just like

consumerism things that I'm told to be masculine right like I like flannel and this particular football team and I got this big old truck and I got all these things that I spent money on to demonstrate how much of a man I am it's gross yeah authentic authentic, be real. Love the hell out of your children, literally. I always say that. I don't love the hell out of them. That's the goal at school with those kids, right?

Love them so much the hell goes away. Love your kids, love your wife. Be a man in a real sense of the word, not what you feel like you're supposed to be because you have permission from media and politics to be this kind of a man. Does that make sense? It makes complete sense.

St. John Chrysostom in his commentary on Ephesians 5, wives submit, husbands love, he says, you want your wife to submit to you? Make her submit in the way Christ made the church submit, not through tyranny, not through domination, but by laying his life down for her. And I can think of three particular instances, I'm gonna just think about this on the spot right now,

that show that women wanna submit to their husbands, right? This is the typical thing, and we'll go over them here. I actually have to enumerate them here. All right, so here's, yeah, you go. I'm pumped. You know, I was just gonna say, we had Ephesians five at our wedding. Yeah, us too.

11 years ago or something. I think the thing is though, if you read, I was just gonna say my, we had Ephesians five at our wedding. Yeah, us too. 11 years ago or something. I think the thing is though, like if you, if you read one without the context of the other, yeah, it's lopsided. But what I often find Catholics doing is they're so ashamed of reading wives submit, that they very quickly dismiss it. And what they'll say is, oh yeah, but submit means put yourself under the mission of,

and the husband has to die to his wife. So I mean, who has a better deal deal here and that's true, right? This is that's what they just said is true But what they just said was to dismiss the real thing that st Paul just told women to do and I don't like that like you have to face it if you want to be a Christian you Should take the Bible seriously. My aunt came up and like confronted my mother-in-law after our wedding and said Like can you believe that they put that in there? It was really uncomfortable.

What did your mom say? My mother-in-law, and I had no idea. Oh, your mother-in-law, so. My mother-in-law is not the kind of woman who would have just sort of jumped out or threw it afterwards and gone into like a theological discussion of St. John Chrysostom. Okay, but look at three ways that men and women interact

that show that women actually want to submit to their male partner. The first is, and I use this as an analogy, I wanna see how your experience adds up to this. When I was dating Cameron and she was in Texas and I was in Australia, I missed her so much. I think about her all the time. I would stay up to three in the morning,

even though I had to get up at seven to go to work, just to hear her voice. I loved her, I was writing music about her. I mean, I love her still. When I would daydream about her, I would daydream about holding her. And when she would daydream about me, she would daydream about being held by me.

It would be weird if I was like, I just want her to hold me. Unless I was like, undergoing some sort of trauma. And it would be weird if she's like, I just wish he were in my arms right now. Like maybe there's a sense in which you'd want that. I like that, yeah. Certainly you can think of times that that would be appropriate, but no,

the man gives the embrace, the woman wishes to receive it, the man wishes to give it. All right, there's the first example. Here's a second example. Men ought to propose marriage to their wives. 100%. Now in that awful but somewhat funny sitcom series Friends, Chandler, you know, tried to propose to Monica.

It was actually a very funny scene. He couldn't get through it because he kept crying. So she kneels down and proposes to him. That's gross. If you're going to propose to your fiance, find somebody else. Well, but you know why? Let me just say this really quick. He wants to.

It's his. He's the initiator. So there's wants to it's his he's the initiator So there's a second example. The man is the initiator. The woman is the receiver. I'll go to the leap on that one Yeah, do you know why at least well? I think the reason why why I think it's inappropriate for girls to ask guys out or to ask guys to go to the dance with Them or to ask them to marry him or whatever Because it's a it's a courage thing. It's a fortitude thing as As the man, right, and as the 14 year old boy, right, I'm called to put myself out there,

to face the rejection in a way that you're not, you're the girl in this situation. Yep, that's fun. And I have to look you in the eyes and say, will you go to the dance with me? And that takes a lot of courage. That's a hard thing to do. I even told the kids at school,

you can't make the signs that say prom, question mark, don't do that, you're a loser. You have to say, Hey, so and so will you please go to the dance with me? Good. I had you call them. This is what I hope you do call them losers for doing that because I feel like they really need to be invited to something better. So there again, we have in the hug example, the initiator and the receiver. The third is the sexual embrace. Now I'm not going to get detailed here, but I am going to talk about it, so for those who want to maybe check out. But the idea is that a man literally has to rise to the occasion, give his strength, and the woman actually has to receive him.

And he can't force that gift upon her. He has to woo her. He has to lead her into that sort of receptive mode. She wishes to receive his strength. So there's just three examples, I think, of all those three things, are prophetic of what does it mean to be man, what does it mean to be woman? And what I'm not saying is that you have to fit into a particular stereotype

or a particular, what do you say, like a personality type. That's not what I'm saying. Like my wife is probably the strongest, most powerful woman I've ever met. I love her. I've seen you guys physically wrestle. Yeah, we physically wrestle. Yeah, we, because it's, if I physically wrestle my wife

and I lose, I lose. If I win, I lose. Right. I'm not gonna wrestle my wife and I lose, I lose. If I win, I lose. Right. I'm not gonna wrestle my wife and beat her in front of you and then be like, yeah, chessboard! Hurt top! No, but it's like, she's powerful. And so it's not about saying,

well, adopt some meek, weird attitude that you think women ought to have. Nor is it about, as you say, the machismo thing. Well, it's weird. A lot of times. It sounds like girls Will think they're being infantilized right whenever you talk about Femininity versus masculinity right and it comes off that way sometimes yes, right? Because when I'm talking to a group of guys and I'm saying guys listen up I'm not super concerned the fact that you're dropping an f-bomb when you're talking to your guy friends

You know outside or whatever you shouldn't just impolite People get over here, but you're not committing some guy friends, you know, outside or whatever, you shouldn't, it's impolite. People get over here, but you're not committing some grave sin or something like that. It is a very big deal if you're doing it, or you're making sexual jokes, or you're doing it when there's a female there. Because there's a respect that is owed to her

as the fair sexed women are the pinnacle of God's creation. We need to remember that God creates everything else, then he creates men, and then when he creates, gets better and better and better and better, and then he creates Eve, right? And that's creation. We need to remember that God creates everything else, then He creates men, and then what He creates gets better and better and better and better, and then He creates Eve. And that's beautiful. And it is a putting up on a pedestal of, putting femininity up here, not saying, oh, you can't handle it because you're the fairer sex, and that means that you're just like a little baby. No, that's not where it's coming from at all. And we have this culture that programs our women to be men. The feminist

movement has become, let's make women men. Right? I talk a lot about media, just Hollywood-y stuff in class and just in general. And strong women, I'm thinking of strong characters that I've seen like the French queen in Braveheart or Princess or whatever she was. I mean there's these great roles that are strong women that historically there have been these great strong women who are not strong because they can beat you in a fight. It's ridiculous. It's embarrassing. I mean I said this the other day. I told a room full of junior girls the other day, if all of you wait until I'm 60 and then you all attack me all at once I could probably kill all of you with my bare

hands still like I would I'm not going to I'm not just need you to know that just so you know I could yeah I could absolutely do that and it's ridiculous like women are my wife is stronger than me in so many ways none of them involve her ability to pick up heavy stuff and why and I'm not talking about that and I want to just dwell on the strength she does cross fit she does but the fact that what strong women are according to our modern culture is man which is that's why I say all of these sexual sins seem to be a direct attack upon women. I mean, contraception is that let's let's make you like, well, that's new to you with life killing injections and pills.

And then let's pretend that you're just as promiscuous as men through pornography. And then look at these women's sports that now have these dudes who say they're women. Right. Domin dominating them clearly. It's like if you want to be good, you've got to be a man. What if you want to be a woman? What does that look like? Look at the Blessed Virgin Mary. Who beat Leah Thomas, the guy who says he's a girl who's swimming for UPenn.

Sheesh, there's a girl beat him? No, no, no. So the guy, Leah Thomas is his name. I haven't followed this. Right. So there's a guy, Leah Thomas, right? He's a dude who says he's a girl and now he's swimming for the for the girl He's breaking all these records right one of our high school boys

Shout out to Grant Garcia has been smashing his records like the Leah Thomas dude. Oh good right as a 16 year old 17 year old junior in high school Wow right uh Right I see your point so he looks great when he races against girls But he wouldn't actually come in third place against the dudes I love what you said about It's really attack on it's an attack on femininity because it feels like an attack on masculinity, right? All these things do and and they are to some degree for sure. Yeah, I really like that I think I think that's a that's something worth worth chewing on a little bit. Can you how else I'm curious

I don't Different kind of like sexual sins and we see fornication. All right, like so fornication is a cowardly act by which a man Sort of imposes, you know his child upon someone he's then not willing to stand by So she takes the brunt of that not him, right? But then we say but it's okay because I'll pay for you to pay someone to slaughter our child. Right, so that's an attack on motherhood. What else do we have? We have pornography, which is clearly an attack on women,

principally. What else do we have? We have contraception, which is just a new to you to make you like a man, so that way you can get a job and that job doesn't have to be impacted by your sexual promiscuousness. Well, the end all be all of being a woman now is don't have any babies and get a really high paying

executive position and whatever. Scrape plaque on someone's teeth in a dentist's office. Congratulations, you've made it. Anthony Asland does, yeah. But what else? Yeah. Transgenderism, I mean, again, this is not meant to be like a bifurcation

where it's like it's only an attack on women not a man clearly It's an attack on the human race But I think I think Satan principally hates women. I love what Louie de Montfort says of the Blessed Virgin Mary He says that the devil fears the Blessed Virgin Mary even more than God himself And you hear you read that you're scandalized right? You're like well why and he says not because the power and hatred of God are not infinitely superior to that of the virgins, but because of his pride, he fears to be beaten by a little handmade.

You want to know what it means to be a woman. This is my body given up for you. Right. And then we see that in, let it be done unto me is what I meant to say. Let it be done to me. According to that word. This is my body given up for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it does seem like that and even transgender is some stuff. It's just I mean, I know you've got women pretending they're men and men pretending they're women, but this idea that we can just all pretend that men are now women and we don't even know what women are. So this is the thing.

We've been talking about gender roles. I hate the word gender. We've been talking about roles, male, masculine and feminine roles within marriage. The reason this is unpalatable to people in this society is because we don't know what a man is, what a woman is, what marriage is, what sex is for. Like, is it any wise? The same thing with education. If you don't know what a human is, you shouldn't be in the business of educating them. what a human is, you shouldn't be in the business of educating them. I find even amongst awesome, solid Catholic families that fathers in particular struggle in a real way to communicate this to their kids. Like those truths. And not in a basic way. Like

I don't think there aren't very many dads out there who are uncomfortable saying, well, we don't believe in same sex marriage or whatever. But I see again and again, especially as girls get older and they're looking to, they need a non-romantically interested, non-sexually threatening man in their life, right, to affirm them and remind them of their goodness. And I see that, I see us as fathers failing over and over again, and I'm not saying I'm perfect at it,

and also something I always, anytime I talk on this, I wanna say, my daughter is my oldest daughter is seven and I have a seven-year-old daughter a six-year-old daughter a four-year-old daughter yes so I've never raised teenagers but I interact with them constantly right I'm booked up every lunch I ever have I've got somebody sitting in my office talking and the thing that I hear over and over and over again from girls great girls good families You know going to daily mass and all of this stuff

Their father woods it always comes back to father ones all the time. I mean hmm It and that that scares the crap out of me. Hmm as as a father. I mean girls who will say My dad thinks I'm a slut and I'll say why would you say that you're coming up? No, he doesn't right now. You're amazing And I see you're wearing a freaking veil of mass on a Tuesday and you're just you've got your crampy What is this person say that and they'll draw it back to some comment that was made forever ago about I don't want you to ride in that car with that boy to that dance or It's but so much of this is not so much, but a lot of this is

subjective. I mean, that man, let's say that's all that he said. I don't want you writing with that boy to that dance. Good. You should have said that. So maybe it's maybe he doesn't think that at all. And she's just received that.

No. What my point, though, is that it's not the comment, right? It's the fact that the comment is coming from somebody from this man who hasn't demonstrated his love and affection for her. In a way that, and it is subjective, but it doesn't matter. Who cares if you're correct on this?

The issue is that your child feels this, has this wound that they'll carry forever. I mean, you can talk to grown women about this. I guarantee a lot of them have got serious wounds coming from things that dad has said when they were 14, years old mm-hmm What's tough though as a parent is that absolutely will be the case with your kids and mine? Sure because there is an enemy of our souls who hates us intensely and wants to lie to us about who we are so that We'll believe things about ourselves that will lead us to hell sure so it's like it's something even innocuous like I don't you ride In the car with that boy the devil can use that kind of thing and I still think there's degrees though I

think we were talking about this the other day right there's I can't no matter how good of a father I am it doesn't matter if I'm the perfect father in every in every way right my kids are gonna have wounds are gonna have problems they're gonna I'm never gonna like perfectly raise my kids to prevent them from being fallen creatures with concupiscence right right, but what I can do is Fight like hell because that's what we're fighting against right to make sure my child has that understanding of self-worth Right the number of girls guys too, but girls more commonly who come to me and say I'm a burden Like they'll tell me all their problems right they'll ball their eyes out eyes out in my office, right? Telling me all these things.

And then, but what it really comes down to is, I don't want to tell anybody this, because I feel like I'm a burden. And I feel like I'm not worth talking. And what I say to them is, you are a burden. That's true. So am I, right? We're all burdened.

The point is you need to be comfortable taking that burden and sharing it with somebody, right? And saying like, listen, I'm going to burden you with this because I love you and I know you love me and I trust you and that's that's what they need I gave a blessing to a girl the other day just a little quick she asked me for one right like I give to my daughters at night right it's this sort of God hold you a Mary keep you all the days of your life you're a princess of heaven you're a child of God your true home is in heaven I love you

I'm proud of you I'm so glad you're mine right and this girl just breaks down right balling and I'm What's going on? Why are you why are you doing that and she says I I've never had a man say that and it's not because I'm great for the record right it's something that was really easy to me five seconds to do But it's because there are these wounds and these I please somebody hear me and see me and love me I feel the same way so into the topic of raising kids in Sodom, what would your advice be to these fathers if they were open to listening to you? What are we going to be doing better?

You have to, first of all, you have to love your kids enough to make them hate you. I know what you mean by that, but I would love you to delve into that. I think you have to do all the hard stuff that's going to make your kids upset right be that a technology thing I mean, that's old school though. I mean I yeah 95% of all the issues we have are directly tied to a phone

Yeah, yeah, I don't mean to brag about this, but I was telling parents not to give their smartphones before it was cool like 10 Oh, absolutely. It's all I've been doing traveling the country telling parents not to give their children's mother. That's it. That's the only thing I said I'm addicted to my you'll pay money. I just give a five second talk. Right. But you pass me those matches. But I think that's the, I think that's one. Right. I think the other is you have to have, you have to get over the awkwardness.

I've been blessed with a lack of awkwardness. Can I just cut you off real quick? Cause I have a lot of parents who are like, okay, fine. I don't give my smart, give my smartphone or something. What do I do? I want to recommend another phone that we just got our son, it's called a Gab phone, G-A-B-B, I think it's G-A-B-B, phone.

It's created by these Mormons, you know, who's just the greatest. I don't think they're actually, I mean, don't get me wrong, there's nothing about their religion that comes into this phone, but Mormons is just beautiful, family loving, family encouraging people. Now what's cool about the Gab phone is there's zero access to the Internet,

but you can send text messages, you can put music. It looks like a smartphone. It works like a smartphone. There's zero way to get it. Zero way to get some. Can you check out this maps on that, Neil? Oh, look, it's J.B.B. J.B.B. Yeah, let's put a link in the description. Again, I'm not making a kickback from this.

I just we just got that for Liam because Liam, my eldest, just. Let's put a link in the description. Again, I'm not making a kickback from this. We just got that for Liam, because Liam, my eldest, just turned 14, and we gave him that phone. And so it's like, he's got a Gab phone, so he doesn't have to feel like he's got a flip phone, which is impossible to text on. He can send photos to his friends, he can take little videos and whatever.

Zero access to the internet. The other thing we tell him is like, keep the phone downstairs every single night, keep it charging. And he's such a good boy. He's done that every single night. Can you see what he does on it? Can you read his text messages on it?

I make sure, we have his passcode, and he's never allowed to not have it. And he can't delete it? What do you mean, can he change it? Can he delete text messages? He can delete text messages, yeah. Cause I always tell parents, filtering software is great. It's never perfect, but it's great, right?

I mean, I can, I guarantee you that if you've got your phone totally done up with everything, I can probably get porn on it in like 45 seconds. Yeah. Right? Yeah, I'll show you. Give me that. I was gonna, close up on this phone, Neil. No, but filtering software is never enough.

Mirroring software is so important. Our kids are dumb, man. Kids are dumb, so are parents. Yeah. But I'll tell you one thing I've noticed, and this is something I think I'm learning, I'm in a slightly different stage of life to you, you know, cuz my kids are older. One thing I didn't expect is The maturity and intelligence of my children as they grew sure Maybe it's because I was encountering kids who were hooked on porn

And so I just thought all kids are stupid it, you know, so don't ever give you get a phone But my kids 14 like we've talked about pornography a great deal, we've talked about addiction, talked, you know, we go to confession, you know, and I don't think he's ever seen pornography. I'd put money on that, you know? Praise God. Yeah, praise God indeed, but if he did,

okay, go to confession, like, but I guess what I didn't realize is that as my kids grow, they actually begin to understand your arguments and they see why it's a bad idea. So it's not like I'm just dealing with big children, you know who are 15 years old But have the brain capacity of a 12 year old or a seven year old I mean that might be the case different kids have different personalities Some are more mature than others

But it's been really cool as my kids have been growing up to explain these things to them and to see them get it You know, I agree with that, but I I also think that it is so Incredibly alluring and if it's a little into us as adults who only just got the internet five seconds ago, it's obviously going to be alluring to our kids. Yeah. No, but and I'll also say, I'm sure you do a great job talking to your kids, but so many parents are uncomfortable doing that. So many parents are uncomfortable or they're uncomfortable doing physical things, right? Like hugging and snuggling with their daughter after she's gone through puberty.

And all of a sudden she's starting to Look like a woman and now who I feel icky when my daughter's Pajamas yeah, you gotta get over that stuff. We were talking about that the other day. Yeah. Yeah, you've got I know I don't care if it's weird get over yourself for your kids sake Yeah, someone said that to me because I mean I got daughters who like 12, you know a little younger and gosh I love them so much. I wrestle with them still, you know, it's like they that's one of their favorite things who is to wrestle with me And they're vicious. That's funny about still, you know? It's like, that's one of their favorite things was to wrestle with me. And they're vicious.

That's funny about wrestling with kids is the dads, I was like, no, you can't bite, and you can't, and no crutch shots, and you can't, you're like, well, what? The kid is like this big. What chance does he have if he can't do the six? I watched Evelyn punch you in the face. Did she?

After the little mixer the other night. Did she punch me in the face? Yeah, on the way out, you had her, and you're like, you can't get out of it. How can you get an issue? That's all right. I love that girl, so I love all my kids. They're so good no, but that those covers. There's open Conversations I think goes so far. I mean my kids nine I started talking about porn with a seven Yeah, not in an explicit way no right But we talked about it fairly regularly it comes up

And it's just kind of boy talk and I mean you can tell already there's a little bit of I don't really want to talk about this stuff. We also have a farm. So it's really easy to talk to kids about sex because it's like, what are the goats doing? Are they giving each other piggyback ride? No. What's it? It's a goatee back ride. Yeah. That's making how they making babies. Well, you see that thing? It's penis. Oh, okay. And then it's gonna be, Oh, all right. Great. Yeah. Do you think that do you think that is part of our awkwardness about sex is like maybe a lot of us grew up In rural communities back in the day, and it was a lot more obvious and in your face and yeah totally I mean you think about when these people who had nine kids and lived in a one-room, you know farmhouse somewhere

Yeah, it's kind of in your face outside inside. Oh, you know those kids came from somewhere Good point that for the record my suggestion is not Yeah, really obvious But no, I and I don't know I'm not sure why I've always been blessed with like I'm super comfortable talking about it I talk about be it sex or social media or whatever I also think and I'm gonna make a lot of kids mad when I say this I think we give our kids too much credit for their ability to Navigate this world because we don't we don't expect for the past what?

12,000 years of human civilization things have been pretty pretty much the same right industrial revolution happens Things get a little weird we get less rural we get more urban and that's that changes some stuff up and now We get more urban and that's that changes some stuff up and now We've got the universe and our hands all the time and everybody's ideas coming for our kids at the same time We were living in luxury beyond what you know the emperors of Persia lived in right? We live in I've lived in a double-wide trailer for the past six years on all this property I still live you were richer than the Babylonian kings seriously more opulently with my running water and air conditioning and and whatever and I Don't know how humans Fair in the we know what none of us do we can lie and talk about studies from the past 40 years or whatever

But no that we're this is an experiment in human Societal evolution that we've never seen before and I don't think it's that great I'm not saying we ought all be Luddites and go back out and live in caves but I should consider it here's a controversial sentence okay I read the Unabomber manifesto yeah okay so Taliban yeah yeah yeah bad bad guy thank you shouldn't you shouldn't blow up people still a lot of bombs he's right about pretty much everything though and the Unibomber manifest except the sending bombs to judge this part Yeah, that's bad

Maybe we could come with an edited version where you just take out those bits and Add them into a pet an appendix and then publish it. I think you should do. Oh, yeah I want to read that now. I watched the Netflix series. It was fantastic. That's the reason I don't stop at red lights. I Watched that do you remember that bit? We talked about you come up you drive. It's the reason I don't stop at red lights. I watched that. Do you remember that bit how you talked about, you come up, you drive, it's the middle of the night, there's no cars anywhere, you're in a red light, and you sit there. Why?

Because this thing is telling you to. Ted Kaczynski says that? Yeah, in the Netflix. So I don't sit at red lights anymore, I drive through them at nighttime. That's beautiful. I look both ways. In Steubenville, the population used to be

three or four times the amount it is now. We have an inordinate amount of red lights. And there's like four cops in this town. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. You know for me They're busy with you know meth busts and stuff. Yeah. No, I I am really Interested in a totally Almost Sadistic's not the right word But just sort of like watching a plane crash or something or a train accident kind of way About how we develop over the next couple of centuries, and I'm not optimistic. I don't feel great about it

No, but I also This sounds catalyst, but I also don't care that much about the the whole everything I was talking to my dad the other day about the Ukraine right we were right in the car and Talking about you know Russians invading and all these bad things that could happen And I said at the end of the day though I It's kind of like me and my kids and my wife and like we're together and they're safe And so the outside world matters though it matters more than it should because of globalism and all that Technological interconnection that we're talking about we even just even just American society matters

I mean, I mean even just the way it's become perverted over the last however many years. I mean that's obviously impacting your family. And if America... It only matters insofar as it impacts my family is how I feel. And that's not a... I don't know if that's the most prudence way to say it. Yeah, even an appropriate way. You might say I wish I felt otherwise, but here's how I feel. I'm not saying that I hate America and I'm rooting for its collapse or something like that. But I am saying, like, my priorities are my soul, my wife's soul, my children's soul, and then my slightly larger community of the St. James, Moscow people or whatever it is, their souls. And then the sort of concentric circles get further and further out.

Yeah, yeah. There is a sense of which, isn't it, where like modern technology like podcasts and news have forced us to care deeply about people that we never encounter, which is fair and good perhaps, when we don't know the people who live next door to us. Well telescopic charity is something that's so interesting. Come into the mic a bit, yeah. Telescopic charity.

Yeah. It's something that's so interesting to me. Well I haven't heard about that, yeah. That's interesting. You haven't heard that phrase? No. So, do you remember Kony 2012? Kony 2012, no.

You remember that? No, so you remember Kony 2012 Kony 2012 So in this was in 2012 there's this dictator in Africa named something Kony right? He's horrible. He was terrible child soldiers and chopping off all that Right, and there's this big push Kony 2012 and we all had to do Something like we all had to collectively not like this guy hard enough for so I don't remember and I gave a talk that year On telescopic charity and this idea that we're putting so much of our emotional energy and this thing that we are so disconnected from Meanwhile, there's people In your own household I see you right there's members of your own family that you need to reach out to that you need to Talk to but it's so much easier and I'm that way too

Like you want to give me let me give you an example of me being a coward Right I can I can talk about That's my silly phone don't worry I can talk about uh I Can talk about the problems of society and the church and complain about German bishops or whatever all day long? but it's really uncomfortable for me to have a conversation at Thanksgiving dinner with my Aunt or uncle or cousin or somebody who doesn't believe any of the things that I believe Yeah, I'm called to that more than I'm called to stop warlords in Africa Yeah, it's like it's it's analogous or maybe it's the same thing as telescopic activism

Like if I get outraged about global warming then I appear to be Someone very principled, but nothing in my life needs to change. Right. You know. It's safer. Like if I knew that these people who are big into, you know, combating circle global warming or whatever,

were doing away with their phones and things like that, and living without cars, I'd be like, wow, okay. Let me hear what you got to say. But if you're living exactly the same as me, just so you can feel morally superior, it's a little more difficult to listen to you. Well, I've always said, you know, we do a lot of, we're weird, we do a lot of hunting and farming,

and we don't buy animal products. That's like our shtick, right? I respect the vegans so much. I don't really want to talk to one. But no, but I respect them, you know? They're doubling down. There's some philosophical integrity there. That's great.

It's the same reason why I can respect a Bernie Sanders all day long. Like I truly believe he believes everything that he says. And he's willing to... Whereas Biden just seems like a puppet for whatever the left's having him say. I don't even know if he knows what he believes. And I think that's... Drawing the line between you're wrong and I hate everything that you stand for,

but I respect you. I think that's interesting. One of my favorite John Henry Spann, that's his name by the way, listeners. Favorite John Henry Spann stories is, I came over to your house just to visit you, have a beer or something, and you had a goat by the hind legs

and asked me to put a rubber band around its scrotum. Is that how it went down? Yeah, yeah. And I'm upset because what I wanted to do, I just moved and so I couldn't find them. Yeah. But. It was terrifying for me.

A couple of weeks. I've never done anything like that. You're like, make sure both of the testes are in. Make sure both of the testes are in. Don't get the nipple. Don't get the nipple too. No, but I wanted to bring you, I have the goat balls.

You really still have them? I have them, yeah. I would be honored if you send me your goat balls. It's in a jar full of salt, I wanted to drill a hole through them, and put a little necklace, make a little necklace. I will wear it, at least for an hour. Promise.

On the show? Will you do it on the show? Yeah. Okay. I'll do that if you send it to me, I will. I'll dig through my stuff to find the goat balls for you. Yeah. I got your back, man.

Tell us about hunting. I don't know, you and I are going hunting in Africa this July. We are. Have you said anything about that? I've said nothing about it, partly because I'm not a hunter. Yeah. I'm just going because you told me to. All right. You gotta go. It's gonna be great. So we're going to Namibia, right?

Just northwest of South Africa. And we're hunting, what, Jim's buck, spring buck, Warthog, Impala, Red Heart Beast, Wildebeest. That's what's sort of on the menu. And I mean, I've been hunting, I'm a late onset hunter, so I started hunting when I was in my early 20s, and I love it. I mean, we eat it all, right?

We get all of our, I mean, there's all these rumors I can dispel about hunting that drives me crazy, right? About like's the way The seasons are established you're never killing Bambi's mother right Bambi is old enough to take care of himself by the time You're allowed to go hunting. Yeah, right, but time the season starts But yeah, we've been doing it for I killed probably for your year So good and it's and it's great for the kids. Yeah, I gotta say I mean this was so cool I don't know if I told you this Neil my son went hunting for the kids. Yeah, I gotta say, I mean, this was so cool. I don't know if I told you this, Neil,

my son went hunting for the first time with you. He got one. Yeah, it was great. We went to your parents' cabin. You showed him how to shoot a crossbow. Crossbow, compound bow. Crossbow. And yeah, we went inside and you went through a thousand pictures of deer.

Where do you shoot it? Where do you shoot it? Where do you shoot it? Where do you shoot it? And then you were telling us, like, don't get your hopes up. We may not get a deer. So we woke up at 6 a.m. of deer, where do you shoot it? Where do you shoot it? Where do you shoot it? Where do you shoot it? And then you were telling us, like, don't get your hopes up. We may not get a deer. So we woke up at 6 a.m.

We went and sat in your blinds and we prayed the rosary, like really, really quietly. And then some deer came out and Liam shot it. And it was amazing. I mean, I've never experienced anything like that. My favorite part of that was you crawling on all fours in the woods, licking the blood off leaves to make sure, yeah, that's blood. Make sure it's blood or not yeah. That was great. Yeah good. And then he found it we butchered it and painted his face with blood. I love this because when you bow hunt a lot of times they make it a ways off right they don't fall right in front of you and that happens sometimes with guns too

depending on your on your shot but it made it a long way so you get the drama and suspense of are we gonna find this. We went looking for that thing remember down those ravines and then he had just run across the road and died. And we pretended like we didn't find it so we could get the boys to track it down. That was so much fun. It was a lot of fun. All right, so what's what do you think are some common objections to hunting and what's your response to them? I mean there's probably some silly objections which you're welcome to go through but then some more serious ones. No, one of the better ones that I've heard is it is you're working against evolution right because I I trophy hunt right and that's a bad word people you say you trophy hunt everybody's like oh that's terrible like no no I totally trophy hunt right I'm gonna eat

everything I kill every single time right always we eat everything we get the bones to the dogs at the end. I've got freezer heart hearts in my freezer deer liver in my freezer and all that stuff, but there is a There there's this idea that oh you're hunting these big mature deer like you're you're killing the biggest and strongest and best and yeah I am you're right, and it's mostly because their antlers look cool, right? It's also because they're a lot bigger and there's a lot more meat on them But the objection is and I think this makes a lot of sense is no I'm I'm hunting the deer who have had years to get their genetics out there, right? They're breeding all these doe There's a lot of them right good on him. He's now he's made it to five years old. He's big. He's beautiful

He's a 12 point that scores a hundred and fifty inches. He's a great giant deer and now I'm putting them down That's the only one that I think holds ground I think a lot of the other ones are from emotion, right? What do they sound like it's sad you shouldn't go get your meat from the grocery store like normal people, right? And we we started doing it. Like I said it later in life Mostly because I have a come up I'm big in a conservation. I donate a lot of money to conservation organizations I think that's super important But I want my animals to be I want to be a good steward of God's creation, right?

So our animals right be it a deer in the woods that I'm hunting and I kill and drag out of the woods to move To my freezer or the chickens that we run in the backyard. They live long happy lives Really bad five seconds at the very end and then then it's done. And talking about kids, right? Talking about kids in our broken, awful world, it connects you with a nature that you're already connected to. Hiking is great, camping is great, kayak trips are great, right? And you're experiencing nature,

but you're not really participating in it. And we do participate in nature, like all the time. We are currently in nature. This is nature, just because there's lights, just because there's AC, just because we're talking through highly technological whatever. Just whatever this thing is,

at some point you don't understand it, right? It's some magic. But we are nature, nature is us, right? We are part of God's creation. And I think that's really good for kids to understand, right? You are eating Because this thing died that you went out and killed and now we're gonna take it back to that We don't do a processor

We do it all in the backyard my son stands out there in the freezing cold with me or butchering deer And I'm handing them organs and and all this stuff and then it moves to my wife loves this to our dining room table Once I get it quartered out right I cover it with plastic sheet and we did this in my house if you remember we Butchered that deer a lot everywhere. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, I mean it quartered out, right? I cover it with plastic sheeting. We did this in my house. If you remember, we butchered that deer. Yeah, a lot everywhere. Yeah, it's great. Yeah. I mean, it really is this.

No, I remember taking my son to your house because you were going to butcher some butcher some chickens. And I loved it because you sat there and you spoke about how they had a great life and we're not mean to animals. We don't want them to suffer. Right.

I mean, that was there was a really beautiful teaching lesson. I think John Denver to him right before I break their necks. Yeah, they all every chicken I've ever killed Gets the chorus of country roads and gets his neck snapped on the high country rule Instead yeah But I think that Participating in that is a it's a big deal. Yeah, we need that. Um, I view it Let me tell it. Can I tell a story real quick?

About hunting? You can tell all the stories. About hunting? So I was hunting on an island off the coast of Georgia called Asaba Island, right? It's a lottery system, you get drawn, nobody lives out there, it's 27,000 acres, it's beautiful, but it's jungle, man, it's jungle.

So I'm out there with another, I don't know, 50 people or so, and I had three days on the island, and there's one road that runs out the center of the island, and the Department of Natural Resources, DNR, drives a truck, and you can sit in the back of the truck and jump out, and you've got an allotment on that island, so hundreds of acres allotment. And you get off, and you walk into the woods, and you shoot stuff, and you have to drag it back to the road, and then they'll give you a ride back at the end Of the day, right? So just back and forth. They sort of run this trolley This this truck and so the first day goes and I get out in the woods is cool, man

I saw I saw an alligator. There's about 10 feet long. It was really cool Shot a deer shot a wild hog and another time talking about being an idiot in nature I'm walking around I see all these little alligators baby alligators like, you know foot long and I'm walking around, I see all these little alligators, baby alligators, like, you know, foot long, and I'm just, hoo hoo, you know, it's like I'm gonna film all this, whatever, and I hear this noise and I look up, and on this rise is mama alligator, because I wasn't thinking reptiles hang out with each other,

you know, which is my own ignorance, and mama is up there and she's huge. She's enormous, she's got her mouth open like she was sunning, I mean, it's just like back lit by the rising sun, terrified. Snaps her jaws, starts whipping her tail back and forth and jumps into this like marshy area. I mean, 50 feet from where I'm standing. And I think she was trying to scare me away from that part of the island. And it worked really well. Really great. That was her part. So anyway, the first day goes by, I kill a deer and a

pig. Right? I get back and I'm outside my tent and I'm cleaning this hog, right? Yeah It's hogs are gross and they stink and whatever and this woman walks up, right? And she's got her brand new hunting jacket on and her fancy hunting boots on and all this stuff And she's like looking at me and she's filming me with her phone and there were there were two girls on the island, right? One was this woman and the other was this 12 year old who was? Like Katniss Everdeen man. She was legless just she'd knock him down. She's out there with her dad It was really cool, and I said to this woman. Are you hunting right? Are you are you out here hunt? She's like yeah. Yeah, I'm here to hunt and once again brand-new boots brand-new jacket clearly

She's there to hunt like you would hike you know know, like, let's enjoy nature and be out in it. So the next day she's on my truck. They drive us out, it's her and I think her boyfriend, right, and they get dropped off, and then I get dropped off, and midday comes around, nighttime comes around, and the truck comes back to pick us up. So they dropped her off before me,

so I get picked up before her, right? And so we get to her spot where she and her Boyfriend are supposed to be they're not there the DNR guy honking the horn got a spotlight out Hollering and finally after about 20 minutes he goes alright. I gotta go get somebody and we all drive back to camp DNR officer more DNR officers get in the truck they bring in people from the mainland right they have a DNR boat that comes Out there and all these guys get off and they look for this woman for hours and hours and hours and they can't find her. And I mean, there's big pigs, right?

There's 300 pound razorback boars with freaking steak cutter tusks and all this stuff out there. And then there's these alligators all over the place. And like, I think she's dead. Like I'm thinking home girl is in the belly of some prehistoric aquatic, you know dinosaur out there somewhere and

Eventually after hours and hours and all these people they find her it turns out those brand new boots Had given her horrible blisters and she'd gotten lost and you can't take off your boots I mean, there's snakes everywhere and brambles and sawgrass it's just an unpleasant place to be if you don't have good clothes on. Yeah. Right? And they found her eventually. She comes back crying, gets on a boat going back to the mainland, and I kind of enjoyed it. Sit around my campfire just watching this drama unfold and she's okay. I felt so bad for the boyfriend because that's what hell is like, right? You're with your girlfriend lost in the

jungle and she has brand new boots on so she can't walk, because that's what hell is like, right? You're with your girlfriend lost in the jungle, and she has brand new boots on, so she can't walk, right? And I like that as an example of participating in versus just seeing nature, right? Experiencing versus participating in nature. She was there to experience and walk around like she would for a hike, and was reminded really quickly

like, oh, I'm not separate from nature. Nature can kill me. Nature is beautiful and powerful and good. It's God's creation, right? But it'll kill you dead. And that's cool. And it is analogous to all of us, right? Like right now in our modern society with all of our comforts and everything, it doesn't

always feel like Sin is real and hell is real and what because i'm comfortable and i'm happy. That's a really great analogy I don't feel that way often. Yeah But it still is no matter how insulated I am whether I believe in it or not. That's true Right, and I am I am bound by the moral laws of god whether I want to be or feel like I am right? Feelings versus reality. So that's a really that's a really good point and I wonder how deeper into the matrix this metaverse is going to send us such that we're all the more isolated from reality and therefore God right hmm right no it's it's

terrifying did you see the commercial the Super Bowl commercial no what happened with the metaverse no the Chuck E Cheese is the creepiest thing I've ever seen never seen it was like a Chuck E Cheese like animatronic animal band animals, right? Yeah And they got decommissioned and the place closes down and you're following this one weird mouse looking monster thing Through all these places of thrift store eventually thrown away on the side of the road, right? Just living this miserable Existence right and then somebody finds it and they put the VR headset on it and now it's in this happy land with all of its friends from before and whatever I mean it's like it's saying

you wasn't meant to be ironic what I know what I took away from it is hey reality is terrible it sucks you should retreat from that and hide from it and never actually participate in the real world mm-hmm gross yeah I'm, yeah. So what, I mean, there's gotta be some people who are like, yeah, two white guys in Africa killing their animals. Like this is exploitative, this is awful for those people who live there. Yeah, no, great.

Not great, what you just said. That's a good point. Matt, can I see the matches? Yeah, yeah. So let me light it and I'll throw them to you. If that's all right, yeah. So we're going to Namibia, and I looked at a couple of them, right?

I looked at Zimbabwe and what. By the way, I've really enjoyed your role in this whole planning process. I've done nothing. Where I just text you occasionally and say you need to book this flight. Now. You need to be, yeah, you have to go.

I'm afraid I'm gonna be like that girl with the boots. No, you're gonna be great. Just make sure your boots are worn in a little bit. But why we chose Namibia as opposed to Zimbabwe or South Africa or any of those places is, I was looking at like, you look up like corruption indexes and things. And the North American hunting model, right?

North American conservation model that's involved hunting, right, is very different than what they do in Africa. Here's how it works in Africa. In Africa, let's say me and you are, we live in Nam involved hunting, right? Is very different than what they do in Africa. Here's how it works in Africa. In Africa, let's say me and you are, we live in Namibia, right? We're Namibian guys. It's mostly desert. It's like a high plain, sort of like South Dakota Badlands,

but less hilly kind of area. Scrub grass all over the place. And we eke out a living by raising cattle, or we've got a really small farm or whatever, and all those animals, we hate them, right? The antelope of various species and whatever, they graze on the same grassland as our cows, right? And they break through our fences sometimes and eat the crops that we're trying to grow to feed our families. And so the whole African model of conservation is to convince the locals not just murder everything

I say not to just kill all the stuff and the way they do that is they say all right guys great news You're not gonna kill any of these animals And yeah, they're gonna eat some of your cows grass and they're gonna break into your farm sometimes and eat some of your stuff, but White dudes are gonna come over here from studentville, Ohio, right? And they're gonna kill those animals. You're gonna get money when they kill those animals, right? So those animals are our resource that benefits you, Namibian fellow, right?

And you're still gonna get the meat from those animals to feed your family. So we're only allowed to eat as much as we can eat while we're there. So we'll eat, you know, 10 pounds in a week and a half or whatever, and then be done. And then the rest of it goes to the local villages, and that's how their whole model works It's really cool. It's illegal for us to import anything. Mmm. Yeah, we can import antlers and I'm really looking forward to it It's gonna be a blast. You know, it's funny. You're such a good. You're one of the best storytellers I've ever encountered

I don't know. I'm trying there's a million stories. You've told me and most of them are inappropriate for this show Yes, it's got nothing to do with anything that I think is- But I want you to be able to tell it like there's no cameras. If that's not possible, don't do it. I think I can. Alright. So the year was 2008. Alright.

Right? I'm minding my own business. Minding your own business. In college. Yeah. With a group of friends. Uh huh. Probably like praying to Rosary or something.

I mean, just all American guys. And I was definitely not praying to Rosary. Right? This was like early, like I'm starting group of friends, right? Probably like praying to Rosary or something. They're just all American guys. And I was definitely not praying to Rosary, right? This was like early, like I'm starting to convert time, right? And we're walking to, we wanna go play football, right? We're trying to go play football. If any of my kids are listening, they will know this story. It's one of my favorite stories.

That has no, there's no benefit at all to the kids in me telling this story. It just shows what a loser I was. And so we want to go play football, and we walk outside, and we had a lot of Mexican nationals at my school, like they were actual Mexicans. When I say Mexicans, it's not a pejorative. I'm saying they were actually from Mexico, right?

So there's all these Mexicans out there, and they're playing football, right? They're playing soccer. And we walk over, and we say, hey guys, do y'all want to go play football with us? And there was just me and three of my friends right one was a really big guy looks like alcohol I've and looks like Ivan Drago from Rocky for big blonde muscly guy and then two other guys are just like they're guys right there like me and

We say you guys want to go play football with us and these Mexican fella says okay, but first you play with us Right I got terrible accent. I'm gonna do it anyway it helps you play you play soccer then we will play football I was okay cool so I never played soccer my life like I played soccer when I was five I was a goalie in kindergarten right so I like played with blades of grass and yeah tore the legs off bugs or something everybody well the ball was being chased around by this mom of kids and And so we say, fine, yeah, how hard can it be? Knowing we were gonna get killed. So they say, okay, first to five, first to five.

37 seconds later, it's five zero, right? We're crushed. They creamed us. They creamed us, it was embarrassing, right? So we say, all right, football! Because they were a smaller set of people, right? They were little guys, right? So let's go play football football, football americano.

Boom, we're gonna hit them, we're gonna do like, we're gonna win now. They go, okay, five more, five more? Say, no, I'm not gonna do five more. I go, oh, cuatro más, maybe? I was like, all right, fine, four more. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, 30 seconds go by. Now we're down nine, right?

Nine, zero. Like, all right, football! Like, ah, tres más, tres más, ah. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. We're down, whatever, I'm not doing the nine, right? Nine zero. Like, all right, football! Like, ah! Tres mas, tres mas, ah. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. We're down, whatever, I'm not doing the math, right? Another three, then dos mas, okay? And so, we're just getting creamed. They're amazing, they're so fast.

They're everywhere. All over the place. In front and behind me, at once. And so, we're getting destroyed, and finally they say one of us and we say all right but here's the deal one more right now the scores reset zero zero whoever wins this wins whoever wins this wins the game and it's done right they go okay we start playing I'm gonna tell you how it happened like

everything I'm about to say is true right it's gonna sound like I'm making it up isn't I'm not we start playing Ivan big guy mm-hmm gets this ball Chariots of fire starts playing from the sky right He's like Another rules like call your own foul street ball right? He gets me some It's like over his head. He gets it. He gets this ball, which catches on fire as it's flying through the goal.

There's all these seven guys. And it goes into the goal, burns a hole in the back of the net. Da da da da da. Na na na na na. Right? And I am so pumped. We're acting like we just won the Super Bowl. For the record, we are losing like 27 to 0. But we reset the score and we got that one. And the deal we made was we win the game.

Right? So we are chomping. It's like that scene at the end of Miracle. You know, that Kirk Douglas movie. We're just like all over each other, high fiving. And things get heated, you know, a little bit, right? Like, not bad, but like, we're better than you at your own stupid sport

and soccer's for women and children. And it's like getting, like, and there's a group of them, but there's one guy in particular who comes up and his name, and we'll call him Saul, cause that was his name And he he's a big dude. He's a big guy curly hair kind of just as big Tough shirtless guy standing there. He's taller than I am

And he's kind of in my face I'm kind of in his face and it starts with your sports sucks and we beat you and it becomes like your country sucks And then it's like your sister's a prostitute and it devolves and it all just falls apart in ribbons as we're just in each other's face screaming back and forth right and I remember the crowd behind him was at first just the guys who were playing with. Just to be clear this is not him and Ivan this is him and you. Him and me, right? So we're face to face about this far apart, right? And there's maybe eight guys behind him, right? And as we're yelling, more people start to show up behind him.

And my wife says that this is not true, but she wasn't there. So what does she know? I think, like, I remember people climbing down from trees that they had never climbed up. I remember cars pulling up and just like 30 guys getting out of like a two-seater. Uh-huh. Machetes. I remember like manhole covers being removed and my thought process in my head and people just crawling out from the streets goes, it starts with like we can take them. There's more of them but it's me, it's my broskies man. We got this, right guys? Right guys? And then more

guys come and it becomes like, all right, it's gonna be a fair fight, good. We can Ivan man, he's good for 10 of these dudes. I can handle a few, my other guy's got this. And then it becomes like, we're gonna lose, we're gonna lose, but it's gonna be cool. Like we're gonna go back to our dorm, like put steak on our face and laugh about how we went down in flames.

And then it's like, we're gonna die. We're gonna die together. Band of Brothers style, we're gonna die. We're gonna die together. Band of Brothers style. We're all dead. And I look behind me and all my friends are gone. So it's me and stretching out over the horizon is this sea of angry soccer players. Angry Mexican soccer as far as the eye can see. Coming to a point with Saul standing nose to nose with me. And I was gonna die, but I wasn't gonna go away, right? This is a problem, I struggle with pride.

That is a root sin, a major sin that I struggle with. So I'm ready, and I'm done, and I'm accepting this, and thinking about how upset my mom's gonna be, and all this stuff. And just then, from across the parking lot, a dorm room door opens. And Saul, his girlfriend, now wife, they got married. We reconciled years later.

Comes running out. And the way I remember it, she was wearing one of those like mid 1800s dresses that you see in like Fizz Full of Dollars or Clint Eastwood movies that the Hispanic women wear. Like the shoulders are exposed, like a floral pattern. She's running, the dress is streaming behind her and rose petals are flying behind her and she lays at Saul's feet and she goes so no

No, so no, don't do this again. Oh, okay again, right good No, please leave him alone. So spare him spare him. And I'm watching this happen right in front of me, and Saul kind of gives me like a you're not worth it, and he walks away, and the whole crowd dissipates. And me, standing now in an empty parking lot, as these heads all just go in every direction, I say something obnoxious like, look, your girlfriend showed up, or whatever.

And that's a story about how I beat Mexico and Defended America's honor in a soccer game and then what did he do? I don't know. He walked he kept walking away I kept walking away. I talked to him years later I'm sorry about that. Like I'm I can be really you know What did you say to your friends who ran away? I was very upset I've never spoken to them since That's actually a great point because when I when I, I sort of stopped being friends with them actually. Like it sort of fell apart over the course of the next, I don't know, six months or whatever. And I got a new group of friends and if I can just talk a little bit about something more serious that I think is high school, I was a as a fairly popular guy. I got invited to parties I made all sorts of terrible decisions right now

Didn't treat myself with respect and I didn't treat girls with respect and whatever but I I did what you did right what everybody was doing and I was always a nice guy moms always liked me. Meanwhile, I was just a garbage person right who was looking at porn and who was You know not not treating girls well and, you know, running around on the girls that I was dating. Like, just horrible, heartbreaking thing. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed of. But I didn't think it was bad at all, right? Because I didn't have any real faith, right? My family was... My mother, she would tell you that she's Methodist, right?

She doesn't go to church typically. Once again, wonderful woman. Love her to death, right? And my father was nominally Catholic He would like play guitar in the church choir or whatever, but it was just very milk-toast sort of nothing Catholicism down there. Lots would be nice to each other and I didn't have an identity and I didn't have a culture. Just something that I keep coming back to. I was just sort of being blown along by by the wind with everybody else and for whatever reason, well, I think I can tell you the reason.

When I was 14 years old, I didn't steal it. I really didn't. I borrowed it. I borrowed my girlfriend's mother's car to go hang out with my girlfriend and sort of disappear with her for a little while. And while we were driving, it was about two o'clock in the morning,

couldn't figure out how to turn the headlights on, which was fine. It was a full moon, right? It was all good, we could see. But the America's police department, that's where I grew up, saw us and pull us over and we gave them a little, you know, a couple of red lights, couple of stop signs,

trying to get away. And then they get us and I end up being like thrown into a holding cell. My mother comes to get me very upset. One of my mother comes to get me very upset. One of my dad came to get me very upset. And to this day, that was the best decision I ever made. Now let me talk about that a little bit. I'm so glad I did that.

I am so thankful, praise be to God and his angels and his saints for me saying, you know what would be a great idea? Stealing your mom's purple Jeep Grand Cherokee and going for a joyride, going hang out because it lit a match under my parents of we got to get you out of here we got to get you away from the people that you're hanging out with right we got run and so they sent me to the school a long way away an hour away down in Albany Georgia and I had a college professor there as a teacher my sophomore year in an ethics class, a nothing class, right? Just a throwaway elective. I was a sophomore, so I got bottom of the barrel elective picks class. And his name was Dr. Travis Campbell. He's a Presbyterian minister and a PhD in, I assume,

theology. And his class, the first lesson he did, and this is my first lesson every class, regardless of what I'm teaching right now, Was he explained the difference between objectivism and relativism? Right. He said truth exists and I sound so weird to say that now and seems so stupid Right, like obviously truth again, but no that was news to me. Mm-hmm. I was so Coming a little bit I was so intrigued by this idea that that there was truth and things could be right and by That that meant if I said, I believe X, it means Y is wrong. Right? If I'm saying that this is true, Catholicism

is true, what I'm saying is Presbyterianism or Islam or Judaism, that's not true. Right? Aspects can be true, right? But I'm saying that this is right. By definition, other things are wrong. And that blew my mind as a 15 year old. And that started what would become eventually my conversion, right? Over the course of the next four years or whatever of my life.

And what made it worse was that, I joke with the kids about this at school a lot, by being formed well, it makes life really frustrating. Because all it did was make me culpable for all my sins. I didn't change anything. I was just culpable for them. That's why it was frustrating. And so I got into that.

He eventually got me to thinking, okay, there's some of this whole Christianity thing. I called myself like a deist. I was like super edgy. Like I'm cool and dangerous and interesting. And I wear black. Meanwhile, I'm like, you know, five foot nine and weigh 120 pounds. Look at the pornography. I'm just and dangerous and interesting and I wear black meanwhile I'm like, you know five foot nine and weigh 120 pounds. Look at the no loser. Yeah Yeah masturbating in the bathroom at the house like bro. What pathetic anyway?

and so So I so I had this so I had this interest in Christianity I like to read I always like to read them and so I'm reading history books and you're reading the early church fathers and you Can't read the early church fathers and not come away with, oh, there's something to this whole Catholicism thing. Polycarp, whose feast day was recently, right, he was huge because he knew John, right? John was his teacher. He was a disciple of John.

And Polycarp is talking about the sacraments and about the true presence and about all of these things, the exact same way that the church is talking. And that was interesting to me. But the one that as a 15, 16 year old kid was so intriguing to me, the one teaching that the church had that I thought was so interesting, right, was birth control. And this is why I thought, well, a stupid thing to take a stand on Catholics. Like, what are you doing? Everybody's on birth control. Everyone I knew was on birth control, literally, I think. And these were girls who were doing? Everybody's on birth control. Everyone I knew was on birth control, literally I think. And these were girls who were being, I was on birth control, my dog was on birth control.

No, but it was, you know, everybody, they regulate a cycle when they were 11 or something, or they had acne, or everybody was on birth control. And the fact that the Catholic church was still saying, no, contraception is a sin, was so stupid to me. But it went from being stupid to being interesting because why wouldn't they change this teaching that they've had forever?

Because everybody's doing it, right? And so that made me think, okay, I'm gonna look into these Catholics, right? And I really didn't want them to be right because my family was vaguely nominally Catholic at the time, like my extended family and everything. And that would be really frustrating, you know, for them to be right about stuff.

So anyway, so I go through high school, I have this conversion sort of, right? And I ended up going to this little bitty school in the mountains of North Georgia, because I got this random postcard at one point that had a picture of John Paul II on it. And there was some great quote about philosophy. I don't remember what it was.

I wish I'd saved this card. That is one of my, I would pay thousands of dollars to still have this postcard because my life was changed. My soul, I think, hopefully, right, will be saved, right, because of this postcard that came. It was a Holy Spirit thing all day long. I have no idea how I got it. I didn't check I was Catholic on anything.

I wasn't, but somehow I got this little card in the mail. And this podunk, nothing school with 120 kids of in North Georgia, I read about them online, all this philosophy and theology stuff, and that's what I was interested in, the philosophy of everything, right? Because I had this cool professor and truth exists, so I should learn about it.

And I ended up going to this school and my freshman year, I distinctly remember getting in all kinds of trouble, doing all kinds of stupid things. I had three rules, I had three rules added in a handbook. I'm proud of that. There's a no window display rule because it's something I put up in my window.

There was a no unauthorized vehicles rule because I bought this killer go-kart from the pawn shop and used to drive. There was a no live Christmas tree rule because we cut down a pine tree and drew it in our dorm room and decorated it. It was awesome. But I remember fresh, maybe it was sophomore year. We were at a party, just Cagger, big party, college party. It was so much fun. It was a blast.

We're smoking and drinking and partying it up. And my buddy, John Power, who coincidentally your wife had in youth ministry. Isn't that crazy? In Houston, Texas, right? It was like 1030 or 11 and he walked around the house and I think he had a cowbell. He's ringing a cowbell and he said, boys club, boys club, girls gotta go.

Like just like that, just a stupid funny whatever. I'm sitting in a hot tub, half drunk, right chain-smoking like what are you doing? You're ruining my life right now Oh, the only reason I'm here is for these girls Yeah, right and he ended up coming and sitting on hot tub afterwards and we spent the rest of the night drinking beer And I said like why would you do this? He said well, there's alcohol around and I don't want somebody to do something They're gonna regret and we got it We to be smart about this. And then he and another group of guys there would say things to me like, hey, are you struggling with porn? I bet you are. Everybody is. You look like

you are. Yeah. With so-and-so is and so-and-so said that this last week and later and it became this real intimate that where I realized, oh, you're the first, you're friends. I've never had friends before and you're actually friends I care about you yeah yeah and we used each other for getting girls or for you know getting drunk alcohol or or whatever but they were actually for who actually loved me right it's the first time I ever felt loved by somebody who wasn't my parents like in a real a real way and I still didn't get it totally, but it was huge. That's what I feel.

I'm always on that with these kids at school. I don't know if I told you this or not, but when I was living in Ireland with my wife back in 2008, nine, 10, it's, oh yeah. I love, this is great. We really gotta invest in more matches. We're paying $3,000 for a new camera kind of for the matches Um, you know that John Powers came and visited us in Ireland in about 2010 a year there didn't he like a co-worker year?

I don't know but I remember him saying he was from Southern. What is what was the name of your college? Southern Catholic Southern Catholic College. So it's crazy that he you know, if I that he knew you back then I didn't know who you were And I remember he was saying that a professor told him that he you know if I that he knew you back then I didn't know who you were and I remember he was saying that a professor told him that he should he decided he was going to pray a rosary for every day in his life up to his conversion so he was praying multiple rosaries a day just so he could catch up for every day I just thought was really cool it's amazing yeah yeah that's a very John Power thing to do and he was and like Yeah, he was a man. He was a man. These are all men, right? These were cool guys. We did dumb stuff We did what I mean? I have one friend. I won't say his name, but at my 21st birthday party on our

I'm gonna tell the story on our way back to our the extended stay hotel that I lived in with my friends After our college closed down Catholic doesn't exist anymore, unfortunately. But he took off all of his clothes in the back seat of the car and as soon as we got there, he jumps out butt naked at two o'clock in the morning and starts running laps around the whole place. And we thought, oh no, we're going to get in all this trouble. And so we went to the landlord the next day and said, Hey, just so you know, some guy was running around naked. And he goes, Oh really? And he goes, he pulls the video up. He's like, um, is it, is it that guy? Like, clearly there's a guy running around. Yeah. Yeah. That's him. He goes, all right.

So let me rewind this a little bit. That guy who got out of the car with you guys, yeah, that guy who then went into your room at the end of the night and stay there until this morning. Yeah. Yeah. That's him. Uh, but anyway, so what I'm saying is these were stupid guys who did regular things. Yeah. And that's a regular thing. But we did fun stuff, we did dumb stuff, and but there was this there's this sense of like, I love you and I'm worried about your soul. And I say that a lot to the kids. I say that to my own kids as well as the kids at school. I don't care that much about your physical safety. I don't care that much about your physical well-being. I care a whole lot

about your soul. Right? I care about you as a human being I care about your salvation I care about your virtue. I I'm not worried about a lot of the other stuff. Yeah, those things you shouldn't do I told a group of kids the other day that You know if I if I catch you smoking cigarettes by the dumpster or something Okay, like whatever I'm gonna stop yours. That's not okay, it's bad for you, you're good cancer, don't do it. As we're puffing back cigars. But if you've got a porn addiction or that you're mistreating the girls, that's the real deal. I really do think that's part of the

problem. It's not to say that our health isn't important, that there's something to be said about overindulging in certain things that are causing you physical harm, but we do live in a society that's far more concerned with our physical wellbeing than our souls. And again, I mean, I grew up with that sitcom Friends, and I often say that if Friends treated fornication with the same disdain it treated smoking with, it would have been a much healthier show.

That's awesome. But it didn't. Right. Can I say something about smoking? Yeah, but come didn't. Right. Can I say something about smoking? Yeah, but come into the microphone more. Can I say something about smoking? Yeah, just come in. I just want people to hear the beautiful things you're saying.

Do you think that's a good chair? Yeah, I really like it. Some people come in, they hate this chair. It's like I like it, I wanna sit like this. Yeah, don't do that. I won't, I just wanna. But I was, I talk to kids a about about vaping. That's a new thing Yeah, right, and here's my issue with vaping go. It's not cool. It's it's not cool

Yeah, I want to I want to I want to be in charge of the vape the anti vaping ads cuz it's always like you have Any idea how many chemicals you breathe in they don't care. They don't care. They're 16 years old nobody cares They're gonna live forever as far as they're concerned. They don't care. Nobody has ever cared You know 16 year old has ever been like I'm not gonna do this because it's unhealthy yeah and so so let's do I want to see your your non-vaping ad go all right look into the camera To his left all right there right there move that into your face is that good? All right, look into the camera and here's an anti vaping ad which will absolutely be a clip go kids of America This is John Henry span I

Want you to I want to challenge you to do something for future you I Want you to take the vape you have I want you to throw it in the trash can I want you to go to the nearest gas station and buy a pack of Marlboro Reds Vaping is gay. It makes you look gay Super gay, and I don't mean gay in the way that I'm attacking people with same sex attraction. That is a burden. That is a cross to bear. That's not what I mean. I mean gay in the way that when people say people from Phoenix are called Phoenicians. That's what I mean.

So for your own sake, smoke. Because it's cool. Don't do either. Don't smoke. But if you're going to, smoke cigarettes. James Dean. The Marlon Brando. Robert De Niro. they all smoked and they

look cool you got cancer and died maybe but they looked okay you puff it on the little box for hashtag clouds for days man is so gay and while I'm on it if you are a white kid who lives in a cul-de-sac and you drive a Honda Accord that your mom got you nobody's impressed by the rap music. Nobody. Be cool, kids of America. Well, on that, we're going to take a break. And then if we still have a YouTube channel, we're going to come back. So let's do this.

Thanks, Neil. And we are back. OK, we'll let people know about Exodus 90. There's this everyone knows about Exodus 90. It's a 90 day a set of program for men Many of you folks are going through right now ends at Easter But for those of you who didn't jump on the bandwagon back in January, there's something you can do could Exodus lent We'll have a link in the description for you to sign up and learn more about it

But basically if you haven't really decided what you're gonna do for lent It's really important that you be concrete about this stuff for us You know You're just I think what a lot of people do is they can't be like 18 things they're going to do for land and they and they just gradually get knocked down over the course of land. And they're not really specific about it. Exodus land is really cool. Yeah, you've heard about Exodus.

Not going to give up alcohol. We're going to have cold showers. Not on Exodus land. So it's actually a modified version. But don't be fooled. It's still actually quite difficult. There's a lot of prayer involved. It's pretty cool. So if you haven't decided to be awesome, this lent

decide right now. This is just for men, by the way. So if you want, can't do it. So go to Exodus. Well, what is it? Exodus 90.com slash exodus. Nine zero dot com slash land. Click the link in the description.

That way they know we sent you. They like me more and keep paying me to talk About them, and I'd really appreciate that Hey doing awesome. We back. Yes back. Did you not think? We have your students asking about kit KYT saying you promised to give a shout out. Oh sure kit is a person Christoph questionitchin, you're the man, brother. Shout out. Do I have to say shout out for it to be a shout out?

It's basically just all of his students online. We've got like 500 people online. Really? That's awesome. That's awesome. And then we also had a super chat just to verify that that story wasn't too offensive. I think anybody who's played football,

I mean soccer, understands that. But we have a Ricardo Rocha, I think. I just wanted to read it because it's a super chat. Kind of racist that you didn't know his last name. Don't you think? But he says, as a Latin American, I find the football story totally believable. It sounds like every post-game tussle I've ever witnessed.

Awesome. John Henry staring down an army of Mexicans. That is my only, the only game of soccer I've ever played through my entire life. Yeah. I'm gonna ask you, because I know that you're really proud about being from Georgia. And I just love when people are proud from being from anywhere. One of the things I've heard you say in the past, which I love is you like when people sound like they're from somewhere. That's one of the things I love about Georgia, because I love the southern

kind of American accent. I think it's beautiful on women. It's adorable. But yeah, why do you love living in Georgia? Why do you love the South? Well, I'll tell you let me talk a little bit about being sure piece of licorice not a little bit. No, thank you You trying to push those on? No, the idea of being from somewhere, right? I think Once again, it goes back to this cultural is sanitized world, right where? We all live in our cul-de-sacs that are identical, right, regardless of whether they're in California or Arizona or New York or Georgia or Florida, right?

It's the exact same thing. And with like suburbanite nothingness, right, it just keeps expanding. And people aren't from places. That's why I get so excited. If you've got some nasally accent from wherever, I don't know, like a Midwest thing people hear sound kind of there's like a little yeah or I was at a baseball game in

Minnesota new home got a sister-in-law up there and here and all the all Jeepers yeah oh yeah oh my good don't you know oh yeah gee um so I love it I think it's so awesome because it says like I'm a thing I'm a person with an identity and a background and that's interesting and my experience is gonna be different than your experience Which is cool. That's neat. And so yeah, I'm very I'm proud to be from Georgia. We've been here for a long time My dad did one of those ancestry things and you gotta tell the story about Jimmy Carter in America's because this is I love this story. Not just from Georgia I want to make that clear right? I mean because a lot of people say where you from Atlanta and what they really mean is well I'm a suburb outside of Alpharetta and whatever over here in this

really specific place. I'm from a town called America. Have you heard this about Jimmy Carter Neil? Is this story? No. Just so everybody knows me John Henry and Neil used to play D&D together so we go back a ways. Shout out to Jerry Creed. Yeah yeah that's the end there was. So we go back a ways. Shout out to Jerry Crete. Yeah. Yeah, best DM there was. So I'm from a rural town in South Georgia, not like super rural. We had like our own high school and stuff, but like 17,000 people, something like that.

And Jimmy Carter's from right up the road in Plains, Georgia, right? So we used to see Jimmy Carter all the time, ride his bicycle around. And you would see Jimmy Carter on a bike, then another guy on a bike behind him, and then a big black escalator, whatever, SUV driving slowly behind both of them. Right?

And it was one of those places where, kind of like here, that's what I like about being here, is you could walk everywhere. My dad can ride his bike to work. He lives half a mile from, he owns a bar in Americas. He could just zip over to whenever he felt like it. And so we knew everybody, right right so I would get on my back Can I go downtown and one day I was meeting my girlfriend downtown? I was 14 years old good at Monroe's hot dogs, which is a great hot dog place

The hot dogs are like not a color that meat should be there this bright red than their white inside I don't yeah, I don't I don't know never asked I don't know but I realized I had this horrible right. I don't have any money It's brutal. I'm 14 years old I don't have any cash in my wallet But I have got to take this pretty girl out to eat hot dogs because I'm a gentleman Right we have to go stand in line at the hot dog bar to get that and so because I'm in this small town I know soapy there was a guy named soapy was a barber. He's still there I have no idea how soapy was old old when There was a guy named Soapy who was a barber. He's still there. I have no idea how, Soapy was old, old.

When I was a very small child. And he's been in the same place. You can get your haircut, you can buy a machete. He's got fruit and vegetable stands out front. Like, whole things of sugar cane. It's awesome. And we've known Soapy forever. So I bust in there.

Jimmy Carter is in my way. He's getting his haircut, right? I don't have time for Jimmy Carter because once again girl hot dogs. It's all on and so I jumped in All right, I pop in I say hey Jimmy Carter on the soapy. Can I have five bucks out of the register? I need and he opened the registry. I get those kind of experiences is amazing Jimmy Carter is we see him around a lot. My kid is sat on his lap at Soapy's I guess he's at Soapy's all the time. Just now putting that together.

And does he have like his security at Soapy's as well? There's always a Secret Service guy sitting there. If you drive out to Plains, he's still got a, I don't know, I'm sure he doesn't work it, but a peanut farm out there, Jimmy Carter does, and there's just nothing, nothing, nothing, just farm, farm, farm. Then there's like a little telephone booth that's got a Secret Service guy with a gun in it out in front of Jimmy Carter's house Yeah, America is interesting for many reasons, but you had a civil war, you know, there was this real divide It's it. I love that you're very passionate about this. Educate me about America some controversy. All right, cool. Sure. Um So I'll I'll throw it out there. I thought a couple of things first just to make sure that I check my political Say what you don't mean before you say what you do mean. Just those matches

Who's got the matches? Slavery is bad. I know that's kind of that's a clip right there. Matt, Matt Fred. That can be a short Neil That can be one of the shorts. Slavery is bad. Slavery is bad. You shouldn't own other human beings, right? That being said No, no, no. No, no, just that, no, just that is sort of the background information. A lot of times when we talk about the Civil War, right, we say the Civil War was fought to preserve slavery,

and I wanna make a real quick distinction. I'm not some guy who's just gonna say, no, it's all states' rights. It was states' rights, states' rights to do what? Own slaves, right? I agree with that, I totally agree with that. You don't agree with owning slaves. You agree with that's what it's about. I agree that the Civil War was a war fought over states rights. The states right to do what? Own slaves. Right? Which is bad.

So all that being said, I am still, I don't consider myself a neo-confederate or anything like that. But I think there's a very real argument to be made for the Civil War, the Confederate cause in the Civil War was a justified thing. And the fact that our country being fractured might not have been a bad thing. I don't want that to happen now. I'm not saying, well. But I am saying that I think it's a lot less black and white

than we realize. And I don't like Abraham Lincoln. I think he was probably our worst president. Why? He was a war criminal criminal mostly, right? things like things like Indian habeas corpus and the human rights for

Sort of this martial law things like throwing the the Maryland State Legislature in prison at Fort McHenry Because they were gonna vote to secede from the Union. Now, once again, slavery is bad. However, I don't like living in a world where, when a sizable piece of the country says, we don't want to be a part of this anymore, the federal government can say, oh, but you have to be, and we're going to kill you, we're gonna send hundreds of thousands of people to die

to force you to be a part of something that you are not're going to send hundreds of thousands of people to die to force you to be a part of something that you are not open to being a part of. And logically I understand how there's some flaws with that, right? Because eventually what does that mean? We're all broken up like a Holy Roman Empire kind of thing with dozens and dozens and dozens of these little fiefdoms within some, right? But I still stand by it. I still feel very weird saying, no, if a part of your country wants to break away

You should force them at gunpoint to stay a part of it, and that's what happened forgive me I know very well Feel free to speak to me like I'm five here sure so The Confederacy right they say we want to leave right and they did want to leave because they hated Abraham Lincoln They were worried. He was gonna take away the right stone slave slavery was the catalyst I want to double down and triple down quadruple down on that right Abraham Lincoln, they were worried he was gonna take away the right stone of slave. Slavery was the catalyst. I want to double down, triple down, quadruple down on that, right? Abraham Lincoln says, you cannot leave. And if you try to leave, we're going to force you to stay, right? So it starts at Fort Sumter when the Confederates fire on a Union stronghold on an

island, right? Off the coast of South Carolina. And then that's sort of the, that's when the first actual violence takes place. You might actually actually died except for I think a mule I'm serious. There might have been one guy who died when a cannon blew up on him. I'm not a historian I don't claim to be right but then we see an incredibly bloody four years of hundreds of thousands of crimes against humanity being being carried out on the people of the South because Abraham Lincoln and the federal government says no you

cannot walk away you're stuck and even look like at the at the language shift before the Civil War it was the United States the United States are right the United States are going to war with the with Mexico after it becomes the United States is and we see the Civil War sort of being this hinge point Each is concreting together right sort of federal power At the expense of the states and the state's rights We didn't have an income tax before the Civil War so that's fun And here's my biggest complaint with Abraham Lincoln if I can just go off on that this for a minute as long as you want

The Emancipation Proclamation right would What is the Emancipation Proclamation? I don't know. Do you know? No. So, the idea of freeing slaves? Right, so typically when you say, what is the Emancipation Proclamation? If you ask a high school kid that, they say,

well, that's when Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves. But it's not, right? It's when Abraham Lincoln said, slaves in the Confederacy, right, that country that has broken away from the United States is not a part of us anymore, they are now free. So it'd be like me saying, or Joe Biden saying, Russia is no longer allowed to take this part of the Ukraine, right?

And they're saying like, who are you, who cares? Well, you have no, you don't get to make rules over here. Meanwhile, Maryland and Kentucky and even even the Confederate territory held by Union troops that still had slaves, were exempt from the Emancipation Proclamation, which means Abraham Lincoln does not free slaves. He could actually free and instead free slaves in this country that is not a part of the United States.

And from that point on, right, you see a shift in everything. That's really interesting, I like that, yeah. Now it's a war to free slaves, which it was not before as a war hold the country together So what's your opinion on the Confederate flag then because I think there are some symbols that become so bogged down that there's no use In revivifying them. I think the word gay is like that like a word is a symbol You know the word gay has come to mean something and as much as I might try to reclaim that word Maybe it's better just to find another word and I sometimes wonder if that's true about the

Confederate flag whether it's true or not in the minds of many people it comes to mean something synonymous with racism which is ugly and evil and therefore let's just find another symbol but and you're saying it sort of as a like when you'll say people are trying to reclaim the swastika or something like that as well as a sign of peace and whatever's like yeah But maybe I don't know what people say about the swastika But sure like something that's coming to me in the minds of many something that it didn't originally Maybe it's best just to get rid of it, but but what do you think you say Confederate flag, right? You're probably talking about the st. Andrew's cross

Red which is red I have to say it's probably the most beautiful flag I've ever seen. I can hear an argument for that, right? When I think Confederate flag, though, I think of the stars and bars, which look, by the way, exactly like the flag of the state of Georgia right now, exactly like it. Interesting. That was the first national flag of the Confederacy.

The difference is that the Georgia seal is no longer, or was not right in the circle of stars there. But that's what I think of as a Confederate flag and I don't know. That's a good question. I'm not sure if I'm willing to say, you know, we just need to throw this out because you're right the Confederate flag has been totally, has been co-opted in a lot of ways by racists and people who are, you know, Klansmen and stuff like that. People who are saying, hey remember that time when we could own black people?

Like yeah, that's obviously bad. That's obviously evil. Yeah. Right? But I'm not, I've got a picture of Stonewall Jackson up in my kid's school room, right? I think there are a lot of stories of bravery and heroism and sort of underdogs standing up for the big guy and protecting our people.

Yeah. Rather than, and so I'm not willing to say we can be more nuanced. It's sort of like, you know, I mean, I'm told that Martin Luther King Jr. treated women pretty despicably. But OK, but he also did great things. So we don't have to throw him out. Everybody. Right. Yeah. The same thing with symbols is what I mean. Like you can have a more nuanced look.

Although I would you fly a Confederate flag outside your house? I'd fly the the first national flag. Yeah. Yeah, not the not the not the st. Andrews cross Once again because not because I think that it would be an evil for me to do that yeah, but because I understand the message that I am screaming is I Hate black people. That's what people would think when they saw it. Yeah, and I don't want to send that message obviously What's the what's the don't tread on me? Flag where does that come from? No, I love it. Oh good. I want that hanging up here No, that yeah, that's my ever heard don't tread on me was the from the Metallica black album

They have a song with a tread on me, right? The black album has that little black snake on the front and I didn't realize what was about that was like American Revolution, No, that was like American Revolution. You know, that was like the big finger in the eye of the British, man. I'm all about that. That's a cool one. That's a really cool one.

Have you seen the ones that it's just a cartoon snake like drawn by a five-year-old that says no step snake? I don't get it, but I know that if I saw that flag outside of somebody's house, there's nothing on earth that would cause me to like ring the doorbell after 6 p.m. It's terrifying to me for some reason. Why I don't know I think there's a From from what I've read online and just sort of the kind of people who are saying like cuz it's kind of like a meme Funny, yeah, yeah, but this it means something means like a joke, right? There's always something behind the choice

It's like a joke that also implies that I will show you kill you and your family if you come yeah, yeah, what why do you what do you love? What do you love about America? I mean the Second Amendment First Amendment, so we had a discussion a long time We have the cutter is what I'm after thing about Sure, it's good once he likes. What did you get that? That's a huge cigar. He's really good one. That's great I was at it one the We had this conversation a long time ago where I said I think America's a really broken and screwed up But it's the best country in the world and you said why why do you think it's the best country in the world? And I stand by that's kind of like that old Churchill quote. You want me to toss this to you?

No, it was the matches. Oh, it's a matter of kind of like this right? Okay. Um Sorry But yeah, I mean I think I think first and second amendments are really big ones Okay. Sorry. But yeah, I mean, I think I think first and second amendments are really big ones. I think free speech is a thing that doesn't actually exist in most countries or any country except for the United States. Right. Because you have freedom of speech in Canada. You know, there's speech laws in Canada. It is funny because you'll have like maybe Canadians and others, maybe even Australians mocking the idea of, oh yeah, we don don't know we're all in shackles over here, you know

But then you see what's taking place in Canada right now. You're like, ah, I see I see why free speech is important It's one of the it's like back in the day the ACLU. Oh, sorry, Neil. It's out of matches It's not that I can't throw it's not that I throw like a girl. It's that there's wind resistance is the wind Yeah I throw like a girl. It's that there's wind resistance is the wind is it totally yeah, um, But there really is something they sell you back in the day used to be awesome, right? They were the guys who were defending Nazis marching in Stoke, Illinois, right because they were saying like no that we hate Nazis We want nothing to do with them that being said this is the United States of America and you we can't start limiting I mean the slippery slip fallacy

I don't think is a fallacy Right once you start to once hate speech comes up and all these things all of a sudden it becomes anything the government doesn't Like his hate speech and that scares the crap out of me. Yeah, the Canadians are great. They've gone off the rails, right? It seems that way. I don't know that much from my perspective. I haven't been reading too much on it, but I'm a That that scares me in a big way. And I don't think, everybody talks about, well, we're gonna have another Civil War, and we're gonna have, no we're not. Here's what's gonna happen.

Yeah, we're all gonna sit and we're gonna stare at our Netflix and we're gonna watch our pornography and that while we're masturbating and eating, like maybe at the same time, eating cheesy poofs and drinking soda and being fat and lazy and stupid. It is, it's bread and circuses. It really is. I mean, I think there's a lot of parallels.

I teach ancient history, right? We do a lot of Roman, Greece stuff, and it really scares me, sort of the decline of civilization, not in a big, glorious, whatever. It's almost better, right? I don't want war. I don't like war. I'm not saying that we should have a war,

but I'm saying from a From a perspective of like our the dignity of us as a people we can even call ourselves the people anymore. Right? we it is better to be broken by some outside power or something than it is just to not waste away Contracept yourself out of existence and have a nothing culture That's why when Joe Biden or as Jim Vasaki was up there talking about the Ukraine and why are we going to, why are we doing all this with the Ukraine or whatever? And she was saying, well, we're here to defend America's values and whatever. I was thinking, what are America's values? Can we stop imposing them on the rest of my values?

Aren't you, when I think about our current American values, and I, and this really was the first thing that came to mind. Did you see what the protests outside of our embassy in Jamaica about nine months ago? No. Six months ago, they were protesting and they were on the news and whatever because there was this big rainbow flag

flying outside of the American embassy. That's what we're exporting now. That's our colonialism. Abortion, contraception. I'm not saying, I'm not some anti-colonial, anti-imperialism guy. I'm a big fan of your church hills and why I think that makes sense, but

Yeah, what we're imposing is this nothingness this nothingness Even values is a sort of vacuous spineless word. It's virtues and vice and that which we okay I'm dying you can try there you try that's okay, but yeah, that's that's important that it is an important point We say like American values and that's supposed to be like a conversation stopper as if we can't say what is that? What do you mean by American values? Did you see the Tom Hanks voice? Oh, I heard it was awful. But for, uh, Joe Biden. No. So it was really telling what it said. And one thing I'm not trying to be a conspiracy theorist. I'm really not.

In fact, my opinion on conspiracy theorists or conspiracy theories in general is usually everybody's too stupid. Like what's way scaryier to me is that like they're all me. You know what I mean? Like all the, they're supposed to be like Illuminati, black cloaks, like doing all like sacrifice and goats to ball or something. No, they're just me. Just like, I don't know, send some kind of a check.

They'll vote for it. You know what I mean? That's way scarier. But in that ad, Tom Hanks said, like he doesn't he skips land to the free. He calls us land to the brave. What is that? That telling? Yeah, isn't that something that I don't know that made my hackles go up in a big way. He lighter. I know. Any any questions or comments you want to read Neil?

I know any any questions or comments you want to read Neil Someone's saying they're trying to trying to claim the gas and flag is racist I think it's interesting that I was like looking up and it's like they don't try to me snake The idea is that it's like unified and I think of it as like a symbol of like anti-federalism But I guess that was kind of the original like use of the snake was to they're all in this together Yeah, yeah divided we like fall we have to unite again. So that's kind of a weird I don't know. There should be some kind of good Because I think that that's the main at least to my understanding I wish that it was much I wish that you could separate those two issues of like if it was just states rights

I think that yeah, like the Confederacy is definitely like but you know, it wasn't but and then, but that is such a huge thing today, is everyone is, and all the media is all centered around, you know, DC, and it's like, to some degree, it's like, who cares, like just fix the state first, I guess. Well, I think at all, I think all of our political everything, it comes back to what we were talking about

at the very beginning, about identity, and like, to answer the question, what was the title of this? How to Raise Kids in Sodom? It's worse than Sodom, but it is it is But I think the answer that question really is like you have to give you have to let your kids know they are They need to know who they are. I once I had no idea who I was My wife's the same way my wife has said going to high school She felt like she was being thrown to the lions. Right? And that breaks my heart for her and for me. I will sit at prom or homecoming or something. I said this to an open house

recently. I'm sitting there and I'm watching the kids dance and they're dancing to like 80s stuff and I actually know most of the words and they're not dancing in a way they wouldn't at their grandmother was there you know and I'm I'm sad. I know that sounds weird like I'm sad It's almost like an envy sort of thing because I'm thinking you know I know I know these kids for the most part and they're Not perfect right. It's not all rainbows and you corn farts or anything we have problems, but I know What they're doing after the dance? I know where they're going well the boys are going over to so-and-so's and the 10th grade boys are going here and these girls from

this group are going away, and I know like, I know what their intentions are, I know that they're struggling to be like, they're struggling like in a good way, right, they're struggling for their own souls and their own salvation, and I think about what I did after prom. Yeah. And what I did after homecoming. Yeah. And when I said I was going to spend the night over at so and so's house. Yeah. Now, I think that often about my kids are so much better than me. Like my 14 year old son is such a better person than I was when I was 14. Well, my wife and I have this conversations on a fairly regular basis about how I have, I struggle a lot with sort of that anger and resentment and frustration from things that were totally outside of my parents or her parents control, you know? That I think God lets me struggle and fight, wrestle with that,

because it keeps this fire burning in my belly and it makes me super comfortable for me to pull kids and say, you know, have these conversations. And I mean, the kind of things that I'll say to a group of guys that, you know, hanging out at school or whatever are things that no person ever said to me until I went to college and then they were peers, right? I would love to. It would take me a while to pull it up, but part of my assignments every week for theology of the body and for my ancient history class, I always have things that are in no way related to the text, right? Things like call your parents on Wednesday, that's a home day, when they're out of the

house, and just tell them you love them, and don't explain why, right? Or send an email to somebody and tell them that you appreciate them. I think one of them this week was look at yourself in the mirror for five minutes, no music, no nothing. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, am I the person that I want to be when I fulfill my vocation? And then if not why? This is an exercise that I really like with kids where you say, and if any of my students are listening they've heard this a hundred times, but I challenge the girls to

think about the woman that is going to be walking down think about them when they're walking down the aisle in a white dress right with a veil over their face and the boys to think about them standing at that altar watching this woman who wants to love and honor him all the days of her life and give him children and care for him while he cares for her all these things and think about that person right now and live to be that person, right? Think about the things you want them to have done and the things you want them not to have done.

And we almost feel like, and I think I struggle with this more than a lot of people do, but we feel like we're young and all the important stuff and the serious stuff is so far away and it's not, man. It's really not. I mean, I still have so many wounds and frustrations and resentments that I deal with that my wife deals with that we that are from thinking of we're kids kids do dumps is what kids do and they

don't I talked to that we were talking the other day about the idea of community and a bubble right and how we're supposed to live especially as young people but always always, right? And you'll hear people say, almost pejoratively, right? We're in the Bosco bubble at my school. Yeah, Stubanville bubble. Stubanville bubble, right? As if like, you know, we're just in like a bubble. This is, it's just like a weird little thing. You know, it's just like, there's the real world, then there's our bubble, right? And what they don't realize, I think, when they talk about that negatively, is what they're calling a bubble is what we've called for the past 12,000 years of human

civilization, communities. And they're good and they're natural and they're normal. Right? We're supposed to live with similar people with similar views, with similar ideas, where we love and support and take care of each other. Right? And God willing, you're going to leave here and you're going to go out into the real world, you know, whatever that's supposed to be, and you're going to end up fulfilling your vocation and then either coming back to this bubble or into a new bubble or starting your own bubble because bubbles are communities and communities are good. What do you think is the right thing in that though?

When people say you're in a bubble, I think there's some sense in which what they're saying makes sense, isn't there? You're probably right. I don't know what, but I haven't thought about it. Because I like your point. It's good. Like, we should live with like-minded people who we love and care for. I think after the Industrial Revolution, right, we all got this idea of the city, the big city. That's why I said that a hundred times.

Like, last night we were sitting there with that... with the guy with the long hair who was just swearing left and right and just being gross while there was a drunk girl on the floor eating popcorn. Yeah we were in a weird pub last night. Yeah we were in a weird pub. And we'll go, the city! And I'm sort of mocking this idea of like, this is real. This is what we're supposed to do. And no one ever thought that way. I mean until, until what, 150 years ago, 200 years ago. The Industrial Revolution changes and we all move out of our cities always existed but Not on the scale that they do now, right? And so 90% of people lived in a rural setting or whatever was 80% and then 20% lived in these cities But now it's like the real world is the city The real world is this place where there's all these tons of things to do and you can be independent and you can be self-made

And you can do all of it. No, you can't no you're not nobody's self-made really. I know I believe that right you need Like-minded people and that's why once again with raising kids your kids I want to say this really loud and clear and make sure that parents understand it Your kids are gonna be the sum total of the five people that they spend the most time around Right, which why I love the hybrid homeschool thing because two of those people should be your parents Mm-hmm. Also, if you think your child is gonna be the light to the world in the public school I don't mom say that with a straight face to me in an interview a while back. She said Well our oldest she's at so-and-so and it's not really it doesn't really agree with us and our everything

But she's gonna be like the light of Jesus. No, she's not no, she's not trample, right? She's gonna be if she's lucky She's gonna keep her head down and be a social pariah and survive on the other side without her dignity and worth torn apart. But probably what she's going to do is say, I want love and I want affection and I want attention and I'm willing to sacrifice all of that stuff to feel like, and my parents who I see for an hour in the nighttime when they get back from work, maybe they make us eat dinner together, but I'm staring at my stupid phone all the time,

and then I'm at school with all these other kids, and I've got, my whole life is centered around people who are totally contrary to everything we're doing. Your little, your daughter's not gonna be a light to the world. You're throwing her to lions, right? If she survives, you're making her life a whole lot more difficult afterwards.

Go back to what you said earlier when you said love your kids enough to make them hate you because I don't think we ever really explored that. No, I think kids need parents. Kids don't need old friends who gave birth to them, right? Who care for them. It's not enough to, once again, loving your kid is a big deal. Letting them know they're loved is a big deal.

But I use the analogy, right? I have a daughter, Maura. Maura is, I love her desperately. Again loving your kid is a big deal. Let him know their love is a big deal, but I Use the analogy right? I have a daughter more on more is I love her desperately. She's your goddaughter. I love her She is the way let's point out the gift. I got from Mora on her baptism You remember the bottle of vodka bottle of vodka. Yeah, she loved it. Yeah. Yeah, it was great She's the meanest person I've ever met She is like I love her desperately'd do anything for that girl. But she'll do things like, like I heard a noise down the hall about a year ago. I went down the hall to see what it was,

like a splashing noise. And I turn a corner and she's in the bathroom with a glass. She's filling up the toilet and dumping it on the floor. And I look at her and she looks at me and she's like naked big belly just Never breaks eye contact It's ridiculous she'll steal food from her siblings and feed it to the dogs She'll run into the kitchen

You know chubby whatever But anyway more hot good when we go to the beach, right? This is the analogy I'm getting back to. We're sitting at the beach and I'm sitting down drinking beer under my umbrella or whatever, and she'll just run into the waves. Sprint, full out into the waves. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, back.

Stand up, run into the waves. Kids do stupid things, right? Kids eat sand, kids do whatever. And so what I do so my daughter doesn't die, is I pick her up and I say, you cannot do that, because you're gonna die. Because that's bad for you,

because I know more. And it's really easy when we do it then, but once again, it's easy to do with physical stuff when they're young. Why aren't we brave enough to do it with more abstract things when we get older? If you love your kid, which you all do anybody listening to this There's children. I'm sure they love their children

But you have to love them enough to make them miserable sometimes you have to love them enough to say no I'm sorry I know everybody in the world has snapchat and you pinky promise that you're gonna be great on snapchat and whatever But you're not gonna get snapchat because it's bad for you Mm-hmm, and I know it's bad for you because I'm older and I'm also not your friend. I said to my kids all the time said the kids at school I love you almost best for you and I have no intention of being your friend until you graduate. Very dear to me I love these kids but they don't need friends. They've got lots of friends are on age they definitely friends who are parents.

is we said earlier about we're going to do things that unintentionally hurt our children maybe because they subjectively interpreted what we said wrong and that makes us afraid sure right as parents because we don't want to do that we don't want to hurt our kids sure and so we we therefore want them to like us do you see that's where it comes from I think yeah and once again I I'm still at a stage in my life or my kids I'm Superman, you know Yeah, like my oldest is nine Henry. I love him to death. He's me like he looks exactly like me you can vouch for this I got Mary Margaret and Teresa and Maura and there I'm the best thing in the world no matter what I do But I haven't gone through the teenage years But I know a lot of kids

I talked to a lot of kids who have and who are right now in that in that stage and a lot of kids who are Past it I'll say to parents on a regular basis Let me thank you now for your child when they're 30 and they're gonna be really difficult and screw their heads off. Yeah, yeah Yeah, they're really gonna appreciate it. Well, um Was gonna say Yeah, I I think that gosh I've totally lost my train of thought kids children son daughter Yeah, I think that, gosh, I've totally lost my train of thought. Kids, children, son, daughter. Well, that's what I was going to say.

I've totally forgotten. That's fine. He doesn't need a match. He just needs the cardboard. He's like McGyver. Oh, that's what I was going to say. And when I speak to parents and haven't done that quite a while directly because of the covid and because of how this YouTube

channel has exploded. But it's just to say, like, look, your life could be easier than it is right now. It doesn't have to be as complicated as that. Because you could send your kid to a public school to a crappy Catholic school. But now what's going to happen is you're going to send your kid to a public school or to a crappy Catholic school. But now what's going to happen is you're going to be sending them into a grade and all of their peers are going to have phones and Snapchat. And now you're going to have to either give them a

phone or let them be a sort of social leper outcast, which is going to be difficult for them. And it's going to be difficult for you or you're going to give them a phone. And then you're going to have to spend a ton of time deciding what apps work and how they could get around it, if they, whereas what you could do, and here's only one option, nobody has to hate us for saying this, is you could homeschool your children, or you could send them to a very good,

and just, again, I think like, if you took all the Catholic schools in America, I think less than 1% I would consider as very good. 100%. Yep. Right, you can send to one of those schools and then life could be a lot easier for you. Like it doesn't actually have to be as exhausting as regulating their phone and not have them look at you in the face because they're addicted. Like, so what I'm actually inviting people to is a more, it's a more restful life.

And if you don't want to lose your child though, if you want to be able to have a conversation under your Thanksgiving table When your child is 30 years old and then to have some Simplets of the same culture and the same beliefs and the same roles as you have I will say I It is possible, but barely if you send them to 90 percent 95 percent of the schools out there private and it was true when we were kids, too. Oh sure yeah sure I mean and there's something to be said for people are saying, you know, we need to we gotta revive these schools We gotta save these schools great get a job there or what? Anthony Ansel on says two months Anthony Ansel on says you don't send you when you want to convert the cannibals You send missionaries. You don't send your children. Yeah adults can go in and do that. That's not your problem

And it's's not your problem And it's definitely not your child's job to be light and salt your I remember Being a kid and my my mom I love my mom to death right and she was there's this kid who had a he was he was He was weird. Maybe there was a Some sort of a mental issue or something. I'm not 100% sure but a lot of kids picked on them right and She told me given you know given her advice that was coming from a really good place, she said, John Henry, you're the kind of a way

who if you're just nice to him and ask him to play, other kids are gonna say, yeah, come on, we're all gonna do that, we're gonna rally around, you be a leader. And I remember thinking, I was like seven years old, thinking that is a great way to get my teeth kicked in, that is a great way to get made fun of, that is a great way for me to get put so I'm gonna not be mean

To this kid, but I'm gonna ignore them because I just need to survive Right I need to keep my head down and keep moving forward so that I survive this situation Yeah Yeah I would also recommend like to people listening especially if you're kind of about to get married or you're about to have kids or if You have young kids Especially in this post-covid, where people are a lot more working remotely, we have a lot more freedom than we may have had five years

ago, to take yourself out of that cul-de-sac and come to Subinville or come to Ave Maria in Florida or go to some town where you actually are going to have the support of good Catholic community. Because what ends up happening, what I've seen in my own family, and we're not perfect, I'm not a perfect parent, I'm a bad parent sometimes, you know, our kids have issues, I have issues, so again, just to kind of reiterate, this is not a holier than thou thing. I'm here precisely because I'm not holy enough, and I need to be, and I want my kids to be, is that your kids end up getting really

cool formation in ways that like you don't even intend. So my son Liam, because he's cool, plays D&D with his friends two doors down at the Welkers house right. They did an eight hour campaign the other night. That's awesome. But I walked in on them once right, they're about to play D&D and Deacon Mike Welker, whose house is like, all right boys let's just pray at Divine Mercy Chapel before you guys begin. And I couldn't believe it. They all went, oh yep okay. And they all jumped up, we all walked into the living room and prayed at the Divine Mercy Chapel before before you guys begin and I couldn't believe it. They went. Oh, yeah Okay, and they all jumped up. We all walk into the liver and prayed the Divine Mercy Right. It's just not it's not all on my shoulders to help them My kids are rubbing shoulders with friends who go to mass every week and and who are going to confession regularly

So it's it's a lot easier. It doesn't have to be that's what it is, too Because what's more impactful on your son is not the deacon walking in saying let's pray It's all the other boys say exactly let's do it a hundred percent And I think I mentioned this a little bit earlier But what I love about our situation in our school is not we've got good Orthodox teachers. Look, that's great. That's necessary I love that right, but there's a positive peer pressure and a real pushing of all the other kids It's totally the inverse of everywhere else, right? Or not at everywhere else where else that I've worked where they they care about each other

They have each other's backs. We had a group of our juniors and seniors do Exodus Last year, I believe and they asked me to sit it to give a talk I went up and I gave it just like a purity talk to him. That's like I just hang out and sit down Yeah, and they're having conversations that I didn't have until I was in my late 20s with the other guys like hey I heard your dad was struggling with this or that or the other. How's that going? I'm praying for him praying for you or last week He said you were struggling with porn. How's that going? Like I'm he said you were gonna call me if you felt tempted like what's going on. You never called me

I mean really digging is a it's a pretty typical thing. I'll tell you this We do a group of men at our school So shout out to all the group of men leaders there and here's what it is once a month we get together somebody's house Three or four hours long the first hour and a half or so full contact football They go down on the field. They just beat the crap out of each other's these are teenage boys I don't do it. I just hang out. I don't lead it I'm just there yeah to hang out right and they're just you know car accidents happening on the field just boom boom manly It's strong. It's tough. It's good. Even the kids who don't want to necessarily get out there and play football

There's this real positive. No come on. You're on my team. Let's go. Let's rock and roll. They'll get out there They beat this not out of each other then we go and we eat it's just Gluttonous ridiculous beautiful mothers who make us this awesome place. There's like 50 guys there, right? Eat and eat and eat and eat. And then for the last hour, hour and a half, the senior boys or the junior boy, whoever's in charge that day, reads the gospel reflection for Sunday, twice, like Alexio Duvina thing, right? They read it, quiet for about a minute, read it again, and then they talk about it. And the conversations last hours.

They go down all these rabbit holes. People are sharing all these things. It is, it's weird, and I say weird as in like good. Weird as in uncommon, right? Common, our common culture right now is not normal, right? It's common but not normal. We are normal even though. We are uncommon right and It blows my mind all that all that is to say it's not so much us like us. We're great. This is great

But it's that community you have to do it in community. Yeah, you have to do it with other people yeah Yeah, gosh Yeah I couldn't encourage parents enough to like if you're not in a good Catholic community get up and leave because I tend to Think that like seeing a family in secular pagan society at the end of a cul-de-sac, 15 minutes away, drive from their closest friends and whatever, that's like encountering a child in the woods. It's like you don't belong here and if you don't find help, you will die. That's what parents are like, I think, in modern pagan society unless they, you know, band together. And it's not

about distancing ourselves from the world. You take here in Steubenville, I mean, this podcast reaches more people than, who knows, you know, that I would have ever thought possible. And people who have their individual postulates here are traveling around the country. They're doing work at the,

we have a food kind of bank up the road where homeless people come and prostitutes come and sit down and chat. And like, people are engaging in the world. It's not like we're trying to wall ourselves off from it, We have a food kind of bank up the road where homeless people come and prostitutes come and sit down and chat like People are engaging in the world It's not like we're trying to wall ourselves off from it, but you need to be surrounded by other people who can help you Well, I have a tendency to do this sort of Yamish You know like close the gates and just hide behind the compound or whatever, you know Yeah, and that's disordered right? You shouldn't do that. Like, I truly believe that the-

I'm open to the argument increasingly, but yes, I agree with you. I believe that the secret to happiness is land, lots of babies, lots of guns, right? I think those three things. If you're a single guy listening, here's what you need to do. If your vocation is to marriage,

you need to marry some girl, have a ton of children, buy all the guns, just- All of them. What you think I said was a lot of guns, what I said was all of them and get some land, right? but We can't totally isolate ourselves. I was saying this somebody the other day, right? Like if Angie my wife my beautiful bride heart of my heart, right? She's loved desperately in love with If she died tomorrow, my inclination is I'm a go live in a cabin by myself and totally isolate myself in the outside world.

And that sounds great because I'd be mourning and whatever and I get that. But logically speaking, what would happen? I would end up falling into all sorts of sin and drinking myself to death and whatever because we're not supposed to do that. And that's just a biological thing, right? Humans are social animals. We live in packs. We have forever. We just call those packs tribes. We need those tribes or bubbles. Yeah. Before we wrap up, I need you to tell us a story about the time you went to Mexico and nearly got killed.

But is there more you want to talk about before we begin to wrap up? Cause I don't want to cut your time short. I don't know. Bless, bless your kids at night before you put them to bed. How do you do that? What do you do? What do I do? I don't know if I should be lecturing anybody on how to do this But I I said what I I think I said this earlier right for it's a little different for girls and boys Right, but in terms of not just telling them you love them that showing them you love them and going through this, right? I sit down with them at night. I had an awesome man who raised 12 kids I think who i pulled up

At a just a pig pig roast or something i said why are your kids awesome i'm jealous and i don't i'm not as good Of a man as you are please tell me how i can help my kids and he said bless your kids every single night and so i get Down with him individually right there are four kids we're living in a two-bedroom house right now while we're building on this new property And i sit down with him every night individually regardless what's going on That's got like it's like five minutes three minutes each right they make a sign of the cross on the forehead I do though God love you may have got hold you Mary keep you all the days of your life And then I just remind them of everything that I want to say to them right now do this with high schoolers, too

Sometimes right they'll ask me to do it also you need say, you need a blessing, come here, right? And it's things like you're a, if it's a guy, right? You're a prince of heaven, you're a warrior for God, you're strong, you're stronger than you realize, and I'm proud of you, and I see you, right? I see you as a man. Like, you want to be a man, it's in there, you got to fight for it, but you are. And if they're older kids, they'll be like, it's an ontological fact, you're a man, right? Even if you don't want to accept that and you're going to be miserable. But you just give them that long-winded reminder, here's what I love about you and here's what's true. Even if you don't believe that this is true, this is true.

You are good. Like you are good. Not like you behave well. Like you are good. And if God were to strip everything else away, right? All your achievements in life, right? They're all gone and all the bad stuff you've ever done. Right, I like, I have a spiritual director

who's talked to me about this. And really, if you take that, we strip away all of our, all the good, all the bad, and we just look at us. Like, how do you not like it? You know what I mean? How do you not like it? You're good, you're this thing. You're this beautiful creation, right?

Who sucks sometimes? Like I do, and you achieve and you fail and whatever who cares you were good Anyway, that's why do that's be my kids. That's really great. Yeah, and it's hard. It's obnoxious I want to watch YouTube instead of yeah blessing them at night but I also say and because I experience it myself is is an awkward conversation or choosing an awkward moment is sometimes Way better than not doing it. Because someone will say that, right? I will be a little bit awkward.

It will be awkward. I'll talk about kids about Paul, but that's a bit awkward. Awkward is the new black. Just press in. I like that. Yeah, I like that. Better better to have an awkward conversation. So it's so worth it, I think. Yeah. And the dads and I mean, the moms too.

But it does become it has become more of the dad's problem as the kid gets older That's what I say. I'm very seldom. Do I have high schoolers saying anything about mom? I know that's mean but like this kind of mom's job moms there moms a rock mom loves you mom's got your back Yeah, whatever. It's usually dad. Those wounds are usually from dad once we're after puberty, right? That's who we're looking to even if we don't realize it, right? Even if I'm a super cocky boy who doesn't think, you know, I'm not paying attention. You're looking and longing for your father and you are looking at him for for advice and for what it means to be a man. And a lot of times, unfortunately, as you get older, you'll see, well, this is how I don't want to be a man. That might be your situation with your dad, but we're all looking for that. I don't want to be a man. That might be your situation with your dad, but we're all looking for that.

You know, I was talking to my friend Bob Shoots the other day and I was talking about the fact that, yeah, I know that I've wounded my kids from some legitimately evil things that I've done. You know, yelled at them for no reason or got angry or whatever. Sometimes I can feel crippling. And I say this to those out there who've got older kids

and they're like, gosh, well, little too late now to hear this advice. And he said to me, yeah, but like if your dad came to you and he said, you know what, I'm, I'm so sorry that I did this and that, and I never did this enough with you. I want you to know that I love you. And he said, wouldn't, wouldn't that just make up for everything immediately? I'm like, yeah, kind of would. That's awesome. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so it's like, you're only one sort of apology or one decision away from reunion because that's what sin does. Sin breaks union, but you can, you can reunite through apologizing and loving your children

now. And the only thing that's standing in our way is the awkwardness. A lot of it comes out of the awkwardness. Pride. Yeah. Pride. Dude. Yeah. Pride's like my thing. I'm really proud of how prideful I am. No, but I really, that's my big sendy. Play with a big one. So it gets difficult too, as your kids get older and decide they're infallible. Sure. And then you think, well, I can't apologize

because if I apologize, I can see the point and make it more about what I did wrong than what they're continually doing wrong, which they can't see. But there is something really beautiful. It's like, if I want my kids to know how to apologize, it comes a long way coming from dad. He's like, you know what, I was wrong to do that.

I'm gonna go to confession for that. Please forgive me. And not just say it's okay. I've done that to my daughter once. That's right. I got frustrated with my daughter the other night. She's so beautiful. But I kind of got impatient with her and she was crying and I said, I'm so sorry I did that. Like I'm going to confession. I love you. You're my favorite person in the world. What was her reaction? Well, I mean she was beautiful Well, what she said was it's okay, and I went no, it's not it's not okay. That's why I'm apologizing So, please forgive me. I could you please forgive me. So what could you say it? You know, I think that language is important Yeah, I and it does come back to pride right? I I'm very good at apologizing to the people in my life right now

Like my wife I'm apologizing to her all the time, right? But that was again not like a dopey sitcom dad kind of way No, you know we we suck a lot of times right we do things we shouldn't do and so I'm apologizing her what I struggle with Is those people who you're not that close with who you owe apologies to right and It's one thing to say, you know, people talk about sitting in front of a mirror or whatever and saying you know I Apologize to so-and-so or I forgive whatever I'm sorry writing letters to girls that I've just misused in the past right yeah I didn't treat with the dignity your teenagers just for the home. Yeah. Yes. Yes when I was

and I Don't this might be selfish to say but like Right, even though I will I don't think I'll ever get a response ever and that's okay. I'm not owed a response Yeah, yeah, yeah something about doing that. I did the same thing. Yeah, no, I go you get a response. Um, I actually I remember I actually wrote a letter to one girlfriend that I Fornicated with and was trashy with and as a teenager. And I don't know if I got her. I think she actually didn't understand it almost like there's nothing.

Why would you apologize for being trashy? Isn't trashy normal? That was really sad. But I also wrote letters to people I bullied as a kid. Like there was this kids at school who everybody picked on. And looking back, you're like, well, you know, like they acted weirdly, but everyone was so mean to them all the time. And I jumped on the bandwagon.

So I wrote two letters to two people who everybody picked on in my high school and one, it was an email actually in some, I don't know how I got the email, but they wrote back and thanked me and said, it was really tough. Like, yeah, you were awful to me and people hated that. But what was, no, it is a good response. But what was sad was some, the other person, it was a boy, a guy, he wrote back and was like, it's totally fine Good response. No, it is a good response. It's OK. But what was sad was some the other person, it was a boy, a guy, he wrote back and was like, it's totally fine, man. No, it's fine. And I'm like, ah, it really, really, really isn't.

But but no, I agree with you. That's something we could do. We could make amends by writing a letter to those people that we've heard and say, I was trashy and I'm sorry for being trashy. I I firmly believe and this is going back to the girls because once I got all these daughters and I think about this stuff a lot you you just talked about your girlfriend Previous girlfriend who's saying like it's okay. You know why are you apologizing? I think deep down and ladies can correct me if I'm wrong here, but from the time they're

You know six until the time they're 122 or whatever the oldest person in the world is right. I think that at the end of the day girls Just want to like Be there's still in the world is, right? I think that at the end of the day, girls just wanna like be, they're still seven years old in a princess dress, one day to say I love you, you know? Cause I'm still that way in some ways, right? I just wanna be respected, right? I just want like, two year old me on the ground

pretending like I was a police officer, a general or something like, I just need you to be like, yeah, you're good enough, right? I respect you and I think that you're good, right? Yeah. And I think with girls, because I think we want respect more. Yeah. And girls want love. And when we're, when we do a pornography unit or something in my theology of the body class, we're talking about porn or prostitution or sex trafficking or whatever, I think that's a good reminder is like at the end of the day This is just some girl who wants us to be told that she's good and she's okay, and she's worth something

Yeah, no no that hurts me. Yeah, that's a by the time. I gave a talk in Baltimore and a prostitute stood up Yeah, cool. No yeah I was in the basilica at Baltimore giving a talk on pornography. And at the end, people raised their hands and asked questions and someone stood up and she was a according to her, porn performer, prostitute, sex worker, all this stuff. And and she told me all the reasons. She was about to tell me all the reasons I was wrong, which I was called with.

And but what was funny is as she began, a guy in front of her stood up and shouted at her because he was horrified that someone would interrupt this talk at a church with her filth. So I then shouted at him. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, that's cool. I said, get out of here and let her speak.

And so he left. He literally left. What did she have to say? How did it go? What was cool is she started to speak and I said, I'm so sorry that happened. You probably didn't want to be yelled at today. Please feel free to speak. I'll let you go as long as you want. And she went and she said I'm so sorry that happened you probably didn't want to be yelled at today please feel free to speak I'll let you go as long as you

want and she went and she said all the things and her thing was basically you're making these porn performers and sex workers out to be victims it's not true like I'm happy yada yada yada yada yada and then I started to respond to her and she interrupted me and I'm like no no no you've had your say let me have my say and I promise you you you can have the final word. Okay, and my basic response to her was, you're wrong to be happy. You think you're happy, but you're wrong to be.

I mean, we've all encountered friends who they've been in like messed up relationships and girls sometimes do this, right? I've had girls, well, say to me, they'll have a girlfriend who's dating a guy who's clearly bad for her, but she doesn't see it. And they're like, you're less just don't say to me, you know, they'll have a girlfriend who's dating a guy who's clearly bad for her, but she doesn't see it. And they're like, you're less just don't say, dude,

you'll less yourself when you're around him. And she'll be like, but I'm in love, I'm happy. You're wrong to be. So that's kind of was my point. But then I did, I let her have the final word. Cause I hate when people say, I'll let you have the final word, but then they don't. So she went off for about five minutes.

None of what she said, refuted anything I had to say. I thought, and then we closed in prayer. It was beautiful. And what was cool is that guy I shouted at Came up and apologized to the porn performer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and he came to me and apologized to me I say he's now a prostitute. He's now a prostitute Yeah, she's a con man. She's a prostitute. She yells at him and it's a weird situation. Yeah, that's beautiful. That is beautiful Yeah, that's I wonder if that's probably one of the strangest things that's ever happened in my ministry that Going to the Middle East and meeting people from Saudi Arabia. That was really cool, but it's fun man. What a beautiful life

It's cool. It was really cool. Well, we were talking about this the other day or in our end of the car We were driving we were talking about your ministry in my ministry, right? Yeah Blessed by what you said I the only reason I'm here is because I've been doing a long time to get on this show since 2012 when I met you outside of St. Luke's or whatever and it's finally paying off, right? No, but- Finally, after all those fake conversations.

I had to play D&D. I don't even like D&D. I had to play D&D with you, you kidding me? Is my mic still working? I just kicked the cord pretty hard. Yeah, that's good, that's just the cover. But the idea of, on the battlefield, your ministry, the covers, all of these people.

Can we begin by why you said that? Cause I would be so blessed by this. Cause I'm gonna take this out as a clip and play it to myself repeatedly. Cause I was so moved by what you said the other day in the car. And it's like, I've said to you, like I often don't feel like convicted

that this is what the Lord's calling me to do. I don't have that conviction that I encounter in other people and would die for. I see these people like, this is what the Lord's calling me here to do, this is what I'm doing. I'm like, oh my gosh, I legitimately want that. But so often I'm like, I pray to God that this is doing some good. I often don't feel like it is and ask the Lord to make up for the many, many, many, many ways that I and my guests lack, you know. Sure, sure. The analogy I like, right, is there's this battlefield,

right, and we're fighting the demons, and we're fighting for these souls, or whatever. And your ministry, and similar ministries, right, that do, you give the big talks, or you know, Kristofanek goes up and gives a big talk at the Catholic Youth Conference, or whatever, and Stunville, Atlanta, and all these things, right? Those are carpet bombers, man.

You're B-52 just flying over,'s awesome right but that doesn't do everything right now doesn't doesn't take everything out then you have the guys on the ground who are sniper rifles sitting in a pill box somewhere going to individuals so this message right whenever you're doing whatever awesome thing you're putting out it's going to everybody's going to thousands and thousands of people it's going around the world right you're putting out. It's going to everybody. It's going to thousands and thousands of people. It's going around the world, right? You can get books out there. You got all this stuff, right? And that's that's good. But you need that in addition to that individual. Like I know you. You individual. You're, I'm looking in your eyes and I'm gonna talk to you as a person.

Yeah, and it's a both-and situation because it would not, if it were all me, there'd be like seven people right who end up converting maybe hopefully God, you know God willing right with you It would be all these people who might not ever who need that extra push in that extra Whatever. Yeah, right and You miss all of those people so it's a both and yeah, and you know by the time we die I'm sure we'll retake the Holy Land and conquer the world No, that's that's so helpful I heard somebody say what people often need is not a sage from the stage But a guide by their side is like like that. I think you both you need both. I like that. Yeah, that's really good

Can we end by you telling us that story about how you went to Mexico or is it is it a super inappropriate? So I forget it's not super inappropriate. It has nothing to do with anything. We don't have to say great No, no, I'm saying it has nothing you heard the story Neil. I've not will buckle up everybody So we should say right now people have questions Feel free to throw them in the chat right now and after we get through this incredible story It's not that great of a story. You're building up too much. It's okay. Terrible story. Yeah. Yeah story sucks All right. All right. So this is it was not in Mexico. This is an El Paso. Is that the one you're talking about? I don't know. Didn't you go to Juarez? Would you okay? I know the story Yeah, all right. So I

Was that my buddy's bachelor party my buddy Jordan news roommate of mine in college? He's a good friend, right and I was with me was John power the guy that I've talked about a couple of times and Jordan and my buddy Kyle and and Jordan and my buddy Kyle and Jose Luis, who was Jordan's friend, who was driving us around, he had this cool car, right? And we leave the rehearsal dinner, and there's me, wearing khakis and a peach colored polo.

Right? I look like I'm just like white middle class, I'm all the things that I've been ranting against up here. And we're driving back to the hotel. It's like nine o'clock y'all. It's like nine o'clock at night. It's early. I'm in freaking El Paso with my buddies.

I got my passport in my bag. Like I was ready. These were like my college friends. I'm expecting we're gonna throw down somewhere. There's gonna be a party. And they're kinda like, I just wanna go back. I just wanna go back home. John Power was kind of on board with doing something fun Kyle great guy a little shorter than I am kind of fratty looking a little bit

then a lot of flat room hat kind of deal he totally was just ready to go home or whatever and I say I think let's go let's go to Juarez Juarez is right there I can see Juarez, right? It's like the most dangerous city in North America, you know, it's all these gang warfare and cartel everything, right? And they said, no, we're not going to Juarez. I said, dude, we gotta go to Juarez.

But what about Juarez, what about Juarez? And so finally they said, all right, we'll go to the bar, we're not going to Juarez. I said, all right, Jose Luis, because he was from there. So I want to go to like the most, like Mexicany Mexican bar here. I mean like Rose's Cantina from the song.

Like I'm picturing dirt floors and sombreros, like a rooster on a bar stool. That's what I'm after. He's like, OK, all right, I got you. I got you. So we go to this bar. We drive like 30 minutes and go to this bar. I walk into this place, dead.

Dead as a door now. Nobody's there. Industrial piping kind of thing there's like lasers kind of just but just depressing. Sad, empty. So we get a table and I'm really frustrated and Jose Luis is like just gotta wait. Eleven o'clock. Eleven o'clock. This place is hopping by eleven. It's like nine forty five, ten o'clock. We order some drinks. I'm so I don't even buy This place is hopping by 11. It's like 945 10 o'clock we were some drinks. I'm so I don't even buy alcohol there, right?

I got a flask in my boot. So I just get like some coke and you know and To 15 10 30 10 45 goes around comes around and there's nothing it's awful I'm ready to go home and he's like dude 11 wait He said if we're lucky There's this guy who comes in here sometimes and his name they said you're not gonna believe this you're not gonna believe the name I'm like, okay. What's the name? I'll believe you. No, you know, I believe it like come on his name is El Diablo I'm serious. He's an enforcer for the whatever a cartel and this is his spot

Like he comes here all the time. We should seem like okay, whatever right? I'm miserable. I'm mad at him And then Matt Jose Luis I feel like I've been the bait and switch whatever freaking 1059 Rolls over to 11. It's like they opened a gate for like it Everybody comes in places pay like this. size of a basketball gym, right? It's full of people. And all of a sudden those ladies are going, oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph. Everybody, there's a live band gets up.

It's wild, right? And they're singing in Spanish and whatever. It's super cool. I'm really digging it. So now we're ordering drinks. We're having a great time. We, Kyle was kind of uncomfortable with being there. He was just like, I really want to go home or whatever.

And we said, no, dude, we're hanging out. John Power's a big guy. I'm not a small guy, right? And so we're like, we're going to go get you up on, go up in the front of the guy. Please don't. No, come on, we're going to get you up to the front of the stage, right?

So we grab Kyle and the guy was like, guys, stop. We're like, yeah! We're like, it're like, yeah! It's Kyle's birthday! It's Kyle's birthday to the band! And the band, there's all this... It wasn't his birthday. No, I don't know what his birthday was, but it definitely wasn't. Please come down, it's Kyle! So everybody, man, it's killer. It is so much fun. And I mean, like, a little little dark like they were totally girls behind us like doing coke off their pinky nails Like it was is crazy. Yeah, and so 11 30 11 45 This sounds so made up. It's not made up. You can get John power on the phone right now

It's not the same story, right? The doors open the double doors open and people just sort of step back like the entrance to the bar Right people kind of step back and this real tiny little Miami Vice looking guy comes in. Big lapels, unbuttoned down here to show like three little squiggles of chest hair, big gold chain, and beside him is this monster of a guy. Just this huge dude, like six four, necklace, wonder just walking in beside him.

And Jose Luis is like, hey, El Diablo. Like that's not El Diablo. El Diablo, don't call him El Diablo like that's not LD out El Diablo don't call him El Diablo call him this and I won't say the name Just so I don't get like killed in my sleep tonight. Yeah, and And we've had a few drinks. We're having a good time and so he gets closer. We're like We'll call him Johnny. Johnny! He's like, come on, we want to buy you a drink. We want to buy you a drink.

He walks over and he's whispering to the big guy. He says something, the big guy, or he or the big guy says something to Jose Luis. Why do they want to buy me a drink? They just think you're cool. They just want to talk. Because Jose Luis is not okay with the fact that we're inviting this guy over to our table. Once again, it's just constant. So we're doing shots with El Diablo

right all this stuff is going on and another 15 minutes go by he's kind of dancing a little bit and then he says he's going outside for a cigarette I'm like I want a cigarette and to paint the picture once again I'm going to peach pull up like we did pants on right and like loafers outside to like you I do enjoy nicotine oh yeah so we go outside and I do I do enjoy nicotine. Oh, yeah so we go outside and I think I mean to make it more but I'm pretty sure I bummed the cigarette off of L.T. I'll right so I'm Sitting outside and smoking with all the L.O. Sorry. That was not perfect. I just want to smoke my car a little

And We're talking about everything and I said for some reason I said After this we're going into war as we've been talking about that all night we're gonna go down to Juarez and whatever whatever and I've never I'm not really like super easily intimidated by people, you know, I've always kind of been pretty confident guy Yeah, this tiny little man Reaches over and grabs my chin. No and turns it to him and he says you don't want to go to Juarez tonight and I didn't right then I've never been so in

the moment I was like it was bone-chilling so like okay and Jose Luis I still don't know why it's like hey we really need to leave right now we need to leave like yeah yeah no and we talked up once again I don't know what it means I don't have any contact, but it was bizarre. And that's the time that my wife was threatened by a fabulous Mexican drunk cartel guy. Man, thank you so much for sharing that. Any questions, Neil? Oh no, we're pretty good. Um, we're pretty good. There's one or two. One was asking earlier in the show, you were talking about kind of having people in your life who you considered it as like your first friend Because they were you know not afraid to call you out on things I guess and someone was asking how to kind of I guess be that for other people. What do you think that that looks like the way to think about that?

Is because you know a lot of the time I think people think they're doing that they're kind of just like Well, it's tough because I want to make it I want to draw the distinction between It's not just calling people out on stuff, right? I mean a lot of times people boil it down to that like I need to be kind of a turd to my friends sometimes They're doing things which is definitely a part of it, right? But I think I Think it's simpler than that. I think it's loving others, right? It's it's loving your friends for their own sake, right? Willing their good for their own sake, which is just the definition of love.

And when you do that, and you build that relationship saying, hey man, you said, you're saying this, and I see you at church, and I see you doing this, but then all of a sudden, you know, you're lying to this girl about that, or you're saying this to our guy friends, and you're not, the language you're using, and the things you're doing aren't great like I'll give an example we when we get together sometimes you know bad words come out

of our mouths right yeah it's just easier when you're hanging out with friends and all of a sudden you're saying things that you wouldn't say if your wife were right there and then today what you did in the car when you said you said some you had some curse words slip and you crossed yourself and I was like why are we crossing ourselves and you, well, I'm trying not to curse, and whatever, and I was like, oh, that's cool. Okay, I should do that too. I think it's being that loving example

and not making it just about judging you. We always feel judged. I'm super quick to feel like I'm being judged, but I didn't feel like I was judged when you were like, oh, I'm just trying not to curse, and it's probably not something we ought to be doing. I was like, oh, that's a good point. I'm gonna try not to curse too.

Now that's cool. And even this morning, you know, I texted you and I said, I'm going to that hipster coffee shop. She was saying in Airbnb last night, which is awful. Awful Airbnb. And you texted back and said, you were gonna go try and find Holy Mass. Right.

But like, that's another example. It's like, you're just, this is what you're doing. You're not like judging me for me, not me going to hipster coffee shop where you're going to Holy Mass. But it's like, oh, that's cool. That's what you're doing. It's like it's like good peer pressure. Yeah No, let's do this positive positive peer pressure. Yeah, it seems cliche But I think it's it's real but that that only comes once you respect someone and you know that you are loved by that person One thing I've heard too is that you ought to take a holistic interest in people's lives

So if you've got a kid and they're off the rails because they're doing drugs They're doing porn or something if you've got a kid and they're off the rails because they're doing drugs, they're doing porn or something, if you make your entire relationship about educating them as to why they ought not to do that thing, it's like, what do they love? What are they afraid of? What Netflix shows are they watching? What are they doing next summer? What are their hopes for the next five years? Like I need to, if you're interested in me as a person, then I'm interested in your thoughts on why I should be maps doing this or not doing that. Yeah and if you're like me and you're you're incredibly self-centered and selfish, right which I am, you know

There is almost a fake it till you make it kind of thing. I mean, I've gotten so much better over the years Like in caring about and investing in somebody else's life by consciously saying You don't need to talk only about yourself ask them a question Ask them a question. And once you do that and you start a dialogue, it's good, but it almost feels fake when you start, but I think you have to make an actual effort to foster that and for that to grow. Yeah. Anything else?

Cool. I mean, this is kind of a weird, well, not weird, but I don't know if it fits. The only other question was from someone who was saying, let me just read the comment, just to get some thoughts and some. Before you get to that, I want to let people know that Lent is coming up on Wednesday. And for those who are watching right now, I compiled, I didn't compile,

Thomas Aquinas wrote a book to prepare people for Lent. It's daily meditations throughout Lent. To my knowledge, I don't know of a publisher who publishes the book So it's in the public domain. So I created a beautiful PDF and I'm gonna put the link in the description so that you can kind of get that it's free and You could read it throughout lent. It's again It's not something that I didn't go into his works and take out things having to do with Lent and made it 40 days

It's something Aquinas wrote. It's 100% free. I'll put a link in the description for the PDF. You can download it and over on Locals. I think it's, what is it? Locals.com slash my friend. I don't know. Neil, what is it? Oh, well, I can go to pants with Aquinas dot com slash support.

But overall, so Locals is free. You can watch all of my morning podcasts, but we're going to be basically doing these morning meditations. It's called morning coffee. It's another podcast I have. It's over on locals. There'll be a link in the description. You can click that, go over there. Um, yeah. So if you want to do that, that's free. Little bit cool. Any other questions or should we wrap up? Um, so this one's from no face. I'm a schizophrenic 21 year old man. Any advice for a young man whose mind is not fully present at all times and who can't hold Down a job because of illness. I'm Catholic as well. Oh

Bless you. Yeah, I love you. I mean I know that sounds trite, but it's true That's across for sure and I don't even know I don't know exactly what all that entails Well, my first thought would be like to seek out professional help, you know So I'm thinking of Jerry Crete who we've had on the show before who's a psychologist who both John Henry and I know Souls and hearts is that the name of his podcast? I know they have a website as well that you can contact Jerry through and he might be able to put you in touch with A good Catholic therapist in your area or at least point you to a place that would be more helpful than whatever I'd say Well and to expand on that and it doesn't really fit my brand, you know I go outside and I build things and I kill stuff and whatever do therapy is the best there

He's so good. It's so necessary. I go to spiritual direction and I pretend like it's not therapy it 100% I'm always recommending people to I'm not saying this fellow's not doing it I'm not talking about him in specific, but just in general. Yeah, right we need that It's so good to just have a non-partial person to sit down and talk through problems with, it's beautiful. So if you're a particularly young man who's feeling like, I don't need to go to therapy, you do, it's fine. I remember once feeling bad about,

I started going to therapy, I thought maybe it's kind of like, I don't know, a little soft or something. And I said to my friend Ryan Foley, I'm like, hey, this is crap, this is ridiculous. Like John Paul II's mom didn't go to therapy, and I don't know why I use her as an example, but he's like, okay, maybe she would've been a lot happier if she did.

I'm like, oh, right. That's awesome. I guess that's a good point, so. I teach John Foley's daughter. Right now, she's a nice girl in my class. Ryan Foley. Ryan Foley, sorry, Ryan Foley. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my gosh.

Get to know him, get to know Ryan Foley. Your life will change. Don't tell him I said that. If he asks, I hate him. Deal. Between you and me, I love him. All right, I think that'll do. All, God bless everybody, thanks so much for being here. Click subscribe, click that bell button. It'll make me feel good. And make sure you

follow me on nothing. I don't have anything to promote at all. That's so cool. I love you guys. And our website's terrible from Moscow, but... So don't go there either. Yeah, but I love all of you. Thank you. Thanks John Haynes, this has been great.