Pints With Aquinas - You're a Hypocrite! And That's OKAY! | Mthr. Natalia

Episode Date: October 6, 2024

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Glory to Jesus Christ. I'm Mother Natalia, a Byzantine Catholic nun from Christ the Bridegroom Monastery, and this is Pines with Aquinas. This episode started with an insecurity of mine, but then as I kind of sat with it and prayed about whether or not it would be a good episode,

it kind of progressed into something that I think we all need to hear, myself included, which is kind of the whole point. So the insecurity that has come up is, I'm a total hypocrite. I share these things, these reflections from my prayer You know, I share these things, these reflections from my prayer that are genuinely from my prayer and genuinely from my heart on this,

on What God Is Not, the podcast I have with my spiritual father, in talks that I give, in spiritual direction, so on and so forth. And I don't consistently live any of it. So, you know, like my poor mom and my poor sisters in community, I go on and on about the need for gentleness in relationship and repairing that which we've broken

and so on and so forth. And I don't do that well, any of it. And I get snippy with my sisters and I get impatient with my mom. And I've seen, when I meet listeners in person, I think genuinely the encounter is consistent with what they see online.

And that's typically what people tell me, you know, is you're just like you are in your talks and whatever. But I've also seen where, you know, is you're just like you are in your talks and whatever. But I've also seen where, you know, a listener might be around and they'll see me get snippy with one of my sisters or they'll see me lose my patience with someone. And I can see kind of the disappointment or the disillusionment on their face. And this has happened only a couple of times, but it really is very heartbreaking for me to see because I know that even the things

that I'm encouraging all of you to do, that I don't always live it myself. And that makes me think of the the egos that we have. I don't know what that word means. And it doesn't probably matter what it means. But it's part of our prayer at Matins after the Kentucky in which is another word that I don't know what it means. But on Thursdays of the week of Tone One, we have this Echos that is a reference to 1 Corinthians 13 when St. Paul's talking about love. But the Echos says something like,

says something like, let me speak, let me act as I speak, so that by both doing and speaking, I'm losing it now. But to paraphrase, it's practice what you preach, is what we say in the echos. And we say that if we don't do that, we shall be but a clanging symbol. That's the reference to St. Paul.

We shall be but a clanging symbol if we don't act as we speak. But here's the truth, and this is why I decided this isn't just my insecurity that I need to deal with. This is something that I think everyone needs to hear. Here's the truth. We're all hypocrites. And in a sense, to evangelize is to be a hypocrite.

Because none of us, because we are imperfect, because we are sinners, none of us can perfectly practice that which we preach. And I don't think that means that we shouldn't preach the truth. You know, like when St. Paul says, in everything give thanks, in everything give thanks.

I think he probably still complained sometimes. I think he still was tempted to not always be grateful. And, but I also know that we all need to hear that. We all need to be reminded of the importance of giving thanks. And just because St. Paul couldn't do that perfectly, or didn't necessarily do that all the time, I don't think means that he shouldn't have told us to do that. In our, our apostica for martyrs, we often use this phrase of, you struggled courageously. And I love that phrase because we're saying

the martyrs struggled, that it wasn't just an easy fight, but that it was a fight. There was still temptation. They weren't yet canonized saints, right? And it is a struggle, and I think that's the point that I want to make, is that we struggle. But we strive to live the truths that we teach. And I think this is the difference. This is the difference of maybe when it's okay to be a hypocrite and when it's not,

is there are people who say things that are true, but then they don't try to live by them. They don't act as though it applies to themselves that they're somehow above this truth or they say something in their talks, but they don't actually believe it, they don't actually mean it, they don't actually want it for themselves. And that's the kind of hypocrisy that I think really should not exist in Christian evangelization.

And then there's this other kind of hypocrisy in which we're saying things, we're teaching things that we believe, but that in our weakness, we don't always live up to. And in our sinfulness, we don't always live up to. But we strive to do so, and we fail. But then we try again, and we get back up,

and we admit our failure, we admit our faults, but we strive to not be discouraged. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of this day, this new day to stand up and try to walk in your truth. Thank you for every moment that you give us as opportunity to try again to do your will, opportunity to try again to do your will, to admit our failures and to move on, to move closer to you, to come to you for mercy. Please grant my listeners and myself all of the graces that we need in order to practice what we preach. but grant us also the humility

to own up to our failures to practice that. Please purify, especially those of us who are public figures in the church, those of us who others look to, for an example, help us to take that seriously, to feel the gravity of the position in which we are, to walk with fear and trembling in all of you, but also with trust in your mercy and your providence.

I ask all of these things and thank you for these things through the prayers of St. Nathaniel, St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Paul, the Most Holy Theotokos and all the saints and through the prayers of our Holy Fathers, O Lord Christ our God, have mercy on us. Amen.