Plumbing the Death Star - How Would Mouthful Mode Benefit Your Day to Day Life?
Episode Date: May 22, 2022You know what won't suck you off, leaving you a dried up skeleton? Seeing us live at the Retreat Hotel in Brunswick on Monday the 6th of June at 7pm! It's free entry so just rock up on the night and h...ope for the best! Just like us whenever we hit record on our brand new RODECaster Pro! Finally the world's most powerful all-in-one solution for podcasting. Designed to offer superb audio quality and expansive features while being incredibly easy to use, it's the ultimate tool for beginners and professionals alike! Come ask us about it at our live show that's on the 6th of June at 7pm at the Retreat Hotel in Brunswick. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey there, true believers. This is an announcement for all of those living in Melbourne.
Here's some huge news for you.
The Retreat Hotel in Brunswick has teamed up with this very show, Plumbing the Death Star,
for a very special live show.
On June 6th at 7pm, Plumbing the Death Star will be performing a live show at the Retreat Hotel.
What makes it special, you ask?
Well, that's very
simple. It's free entry. That's right. Zero dollars. Zilch. Nada. Totally free. It has a
limited capacity, so make sure you get down early. You can grab some food, grab a drink, you know,
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Plumbing the Death Star at the Retreat Hotel, 6th of June, 7pm.
It will be the most mayhem ever caused on a Monday night, and I hope to see you there.
You're listening to the Sandspans Network.
Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star.
I'm Joel.
I'm Jackson.
And I'm also Joel.
Where we ask the important questions like, how would mouthful mode benefit your new ability that Kirby has gained where he doesn't just...
Kirby from Nintendo...
If you don't fucking know Kirby, I don't know what you're...
He looks like a friend and he's pink.
Yeah, he's shaped like a friend and he's pink.
If you don't fucking know Kirby, what are you doing?
You know Kirby.
If you think you don't know Kirby, have a think. Seek the word Kirby. You know Kirby. If you don't know Kirby Kirby, what are you doing? You know Kirby. If you think you don't know Kirby, have a think.
Seek the word Kirby.
You know Kirby.
If you don't know Kirby, Kirby knows you.
Okay.
So Kirby's got a new ability.
Kirby's always had this copy ability,
except in the first game we won't get into that,
where Kirby sucks in the enemies,
swallows them, shits out a star.
They're dead.
But gets their ability.
They're dead or just a star?
I mean, I guess
If I turned you into a star, I guess I'm dead
Dusha shit
Or is the star Kirby shit, it's like Kirby waste
We're all just Kirby way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're all made of Kirby shits and Dreams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If Kirby sucks you off, you're on. Yeah, we're all made of Kirby shits and
dust. Dreams? Yeah.
What's that thing?
Tommy's and Stardust?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so, but
Kirby's got a new thing going on. Because Kirby
could only swallow things so big.
The same size as him, basically. Or maybe a little bit bigger.
Like a snake, he can unhinge his jaw.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's all jaw.
Unlike a snake, he's all jaw.
But...
A snake is all jaw.
No, a snake is...
Wait.
A snake's mostly tail.
10% jaw.
10% even.
90% snake.
What do you mean all jaw?
It's more like...
10% jaw, 80% snake, 10% tail, actually.
I would say it's more like 90% tail.
Well, 90% tail well 90 percent tail what about
the middle it's mostly tail yeah you got the head and the jaw it opens into tail it's like how long
is it going to go towards the anus because it tapers so the taper is the beginning of the tail
before it tapers that's guts okay this is like a worm is a worm. Is a worm a tail? A worm is 100% worm.
Just 100% worm, baby.
100% pure worm.
That's a worm.
So snake is, what do we settle on? 10% head.
Jaw.
Okay.
80% body.
10% tail.
Okay.
And in some snakes, an extra 10% for the rattle.
Yeah.
That's for rattlesnakes.
Thank you.
So 110% snake, baby. We're giving it 110% the rattle. Yeah. That's for rattle snakes. Thank you. So 110% snake, baby.
Yeah, they're giving it
110% the rattle snakes.
Yeah, that makes sense.
In the new Kirby game,
Kirby has a new ability
where Kirby can suck
in giant objects,
but they're too big
for Kirby to swallow.
So Kirby,
instead of taking
their abilities,
just becomes that object.
So for example,
Kirby tries to suck in a car doesn't get car abilities becomes a car yeah yeah yeah and there it's hard to kind
of tell the distinction there but there is so when kirby sucks in say a knife man kirby just gets a
knife yeah when sir when kirby sucks in a car he's on a car, and the car goes. Yeah.
I guess an example would be suck in a knife, man, get a knife.
Suck in a giant knife, become a knife.
Yeah, exactly. The difference would be if, say, Kirby could fit his whole jaw around a car guy,
he would become just a car guy.
He'd probably get wheels instead of legs.
He might get wheels instead of legs, we don't know.
Or he might just be a car enthusiast.
Yes, yes, yeah. He might get wheels on his legs. We don't know. Or he might just be a car enthusiast. Yes. Whereas once he becomes on top of a car, sucking it like he would a giant lollipop, he then can drive around said car.
Yes, exactly.
The first thing I'm thinking, and tell me if this is crazy.
Maybe I just get the powers of this, is a horse.
Okay, so you suck it off a horse. Jackson sucks off a horse. So... Okay, so you... Straight away. So straight away.
You're sucking up a horse.
Okay.
Jackson sucks off a horse.
Yep.
Step one of Jackson's day-to-day life.
Yep.
Also, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your day-to-day life.
Your current day.
You know why my day is lacking?
Currently, I have to look at a horse and not suck it off.
If only I could fit my whole mouth around said horse to suck it off.
Okay, okay, good.
But even then...
I'm glad we're here.
I'm glad it's four minutes in and we're currently here.
Good.
You said suck off horse.
You said suck off first.
And also, I'd like to point out that we said, I said day-to-day activity.
Yeah.
When in your going from your lovely two-bedroom apartment in the suburbs to this studio, which
is also in the suburbs, are you seeing a fucking horse?
And what are you doing outside of your coming to work?
Because presumably you just stay at home playing fucking video games.
How would a horse, be a horse, how would that help you?
Achieve any of your goals?
Well, maybe.
Okay.
If I could suck on a horse.
I noticed you said on and not off that time.
Okay.
If I could suck off a horse.
You can say with on.
No, I'm getting bullied for it.
No, suck on a horse.
I'll suck a horse off because you're bullying me.
Suck on a horse like it's a goddamn big lollipop.
Yeah, right.
Here was my train of thought.
Well, one, if I could suck off a horse, I'd probably ride probably ride more horses okay i'd be around the horses that's a great quote just to have
if i can suck off a horse i'd ride more horses jackson bailey
2022 you're a fucking idiot i don't know what day it is well thank you it's not even it's
fucking may when we're recording this.
How'd you fuck the year?
And what are you?
I'm not going to pay attention.
Yes.
I'm thinking.
Also, you wouldn't even.
Yes.
Because you don't ride a horse then.
You become a horse.
So you wouldn't ride more horses.
You'd own a horse maybe.
If that's what you're going to say.
You don't have to suck your own horse off.
You've got to suck some,
you can use a random horse on the street. I'm going to suck off a random horse.. If that's what you're going to say. You don't have to suck your own horse off. You've got to suck a random horse on the street.
I've got to suck off a random horse.
The reason that I was thinking, and yeah, this has made me enough of my day-to-day life.
I just said the first thing that came into my head.
Okay?
Surprise!
Didn't you also say you might think this is stupid, and then we just berated you for the last three minutes?
Yes, that did happen.
You saw it coming.
Okay, good.
So if I'm on a horse in regular, there's a chance I'll fall off that horse.
Okay.
But if I suck off a horse, I ain't falling off that horse.
No.
So, therefore, vis-a-vis, if I suck off a horse, I can go anywhere on a horse.
Okay, so where...
I have a question about
the suck-off mode that Kirby has.
If I, for example, because I was thinking,
okay, initially, as opposed to sucking off a horse,
what if I suck off a car and become a car?
Because I'm like, same thing. So then I'm like, well, I am the car.
I'm a bit more like object
permanence, where everything is going. I'm like,
I can see everything around me. But then
if I get into a car crash, what happens?
Do I get injured or the
car dies well yeah because you have human skin yeah that's one of the things we always say about
there's two famous things we say we say joel zammett has human skin jackson if he could suck
off a horse would ride more horses yeah these are things we know about us yeah, yeah, yeah. But if Zama got hit by a car,
you're right, the car would hit your human skin. Your human skin is protecting the car's
hard exterior. Yeah.
Which is a bad way to do it. That's the opposite of how a car works now.
So for example, if you were like, say, as you're often sucking off this horse,
once again, your human skin is over the horse So if the horse gets in there
The horse skin over my human skin, let's be honest
Max, the horse skin protects your body
Would you rather be in a horse or have a horse in you?
Okay
That's the question
That's the question you're posing today
Would I want to be mouthful?
If I'm getting sucked off my horse
Am I sucking off a horse?
This is the question
Would you be mouthful mode or horseful mode?
You've got to be.
Seeing a horse stretch its gross lips over me and then just...
Where would you feel safer?
If you were sucked off the horse, if the horse sucked off you?
What do you mean, how would you feel safer?
Because one, you're protected, the other, you're not.
That's like being like, would you wear your jacket in your guts or over your clothes?
Would you eat your jacket or wear your jacket?
What's better?
Yeah.
Like, hey, I bought you this helmet.
Are you going to eat it or wear it?
But that's what I'm saying.
If he's sucked off his car, he's less protected than if the car had sucked him off.
Yeah, that's true.
Because I was like, how would it help me in a day-to-day life?
So I've got to go to the supermarket,
groceries, going out,
etc. I'm like, I've got to become a car.
But then the problem there is I'm
less protected, but I wouldn't have to
own a car because I could just suck off a random
person's car. Assuming they were going to the
grocery store.
You can hijack.
You're hijacking.
You wouldn't steal a car? i would um the only thing i can
think of is that maybe we'll apply a mouthful mode or kirby rules to our real life in the sense that
if you're about to say crash yeah you can just spit the car out i would say like instantaneously
maybe yeah okay so like you in any risk of death. You bounce harmlessly away.
So for instance, let's say.
Say for example, I'm sucking off my car.
Yeah.
Going down, say.
130.
Jackson is sucking off his horse.
And it's a T-Center section.
We both see each other go, oh no.
I spit out my car.
Jackson spits out his horse.
We watch a really sad thing happen.
spit out my car, Jackson spits out his horse. We watch a really sad thing
happen.
Something neither the horse
or the driver of the car could see
coming.
I imagine it was a stationary car.
I guess we've just
killed a person for
no real reason. That's so sad.
Wow, that horse really did a
number on that car. That horse only went flying.
Oh, my God.
I'll suck the horse off.
Maybe that'll make it better again.
Maybe that'll heal it.
Oh, no, no.
I'm a dead horse.
This provides me no benefit in my day-to-day life.
It tastes disgusting.
Oh, yeah.
The taste of a whole horse in your mouth.
Or a whole car in my mouth. mouth is not going to be good.
Okay, so even with those questions in mind, how does being a horse help you?
How in any aspect of your life is being a horse going to benefit you?
Because that's really what you're doing.
You're becoming a horse.
You are becoming a horse.
And this, again, I understand is outside the purview of my day-to-day life.
Okay.
Wait, I got a solution for you. Okay. If what if purview of my day-to-day life. Okay. Okay. Wait, I got a solution for you.
Okay.
If, what if, instead of like your day-to-day-
Bigger fucking thing.
There's my solution for you.
You want to suck up a horse, let the boy suck up a horse.
So if you suck up a horse, the best thing for you right now is to be a jockey.
And then be yourself in a horse race.
That's good.
Because you know what's going on.
Those other horses do not.
Am I, as a horse, as fast as I am or as fast as the horse?
As fast as the horse is.
I'm just checking.
When someone comes in the car, he doesn't get walking speed.
You're not using your legs.
Come on, I think.
Okay, you're right.
You're using, because if you're, I mean, granted,
you probably could get a fast horse,
but the thing is you've got the wily mind.
Yeah, because if the horse is fast, you're not catching it.
You've got to dodge it. I got the wily mind. Yeah, because if the horse is fast, you're not catching it. You've got to dog-shoot it.
It's in a stable, I am.
Yeah.
But you can't tell a horse to horses if it's stationary.
Good point, good point, good point.
Okay, next question about horses and horse racing and jockeys.
How important or integral is a jockey?
Well, they're just there for the ride, really.
Well, they're there to spur the horse on.
They're controlling the horse.
Yeah, they tell the horse where to go in in many ways but cruel yeah yeah more horrible well because
what i was thinking yeah and i actually realize now it's not horses it's donkeys
i was thinking you want to suck off a mule i was thinking about the grand canyon
okay okay somewhere famously not very close to not in your day-to-day life,
the Grand Canyon.
How close is that to Australia?
Let me just quickly
have a quick check.
Not very.
16 hours by plane, maybe?
If I'm on a holiday
at the Grand Canyon,
that is my day-to-day life.
No.
That's not day-to-day.
That's a holiday life.
That is also a day.
Okay.
Well, it's my life still.
Okay.
You've taken a holiday,
so you've sucked off a plane.
You're now arrived.
Free ride.
Hey, if I suck off a plane and I go to presumably fly,
do I need to know how to fly and land this plane?
Or else I'm just like careening into the ground,
spitting it out and walking away.
Because I don't know how to.
Maybe the best
move would be mid-flight suck off the plane and then unsuck off it but then i still gotta pay
for it yeah what's the benefit talking about this why are you so bad at this episode i'm trying to
suck off the plane so that i can't you know also how are you sucking off something you're in yeah I don't know what that would look like. He's like, oh, look, a plane seat.
That's great, Jackson.
Sit on me.
No, I'm not.
I'm getting a free ticket.
No, you're not.
You paid for this.
Oh.
You can probably suck off something you're inside.
No, you can't.
You can suck off the inside of a plane.
How are you becoming outside something when you're inside something?
You have to.
Yeah.
No. It's like you being like,. You have to... Yeah, no.
It's like you being like, I'm going to become my guts.
Yeah.
No, actually, no.
What if you sucked on someone's tongue and you kept going?
Then you could suck off someone inside.
But you're starting outside.
You're not controlling the plane, though.
You can't do it from inside the plane because there's no exits in the plane.
What are you saying?
Talk us through this.
You're inside a plane.
What?
You can't do it because there's no exits.
A plane, no exits.
Well, not while you're in the air.
They've closed the doors, yes.
They've closed the doors.
Okay.
I guess you'd have to do kind of an inverse suck-off so a spit like a like a reverse suck off because you're malleable like kirby is right
like when kirby mouthful modes his whole body is over the plane he can contort himself
every which way so if you open the door to the plane and your lips go outside and then
back around you can't open the door mid-flight well that's yeah that's why i said there's no
access and also kirby doesn't have a lip what-flight. That's why I said there's no access.
What are you saying?
Because that means that Kirby's inside his own guts in your situation.
That is not how it works.
You'd be basically like a popping goopy inside out.
Yeah.
So you could actually do it.
If you didn't mind being inside out.
No, no, no.
I don't know if you've noticed here, Jackson.
Best case scenario.
I'll just quickly point out, just in case our listeners didn't pick up on that.
Jackson's example of how to suck something off when you're inside it is to be outside it.
No.
Yes.
No.
You just need an opening.
You just need an opening.
And your lips snake out and you eventually pop inside out.
I have a better way to visualize this.
Your outsides are inside.
We have a car.
Yeah.
You are sitting in the driver's seat or the passenger seat or whatever.
We have taken out a door or we've taken out a sunroof or something.
Sunroof or whatever.
Then you need to then stretch yourself with your lips to encase it.
Turn yourself inside out.
So you are in it but out of it.
Zamed couldn't do it, but Kirby could.
Yeah.
Because Zamed's got guts.
Kirby doesn't.
So turn Kirby inside out.
Yeah, then Kirby could do it.
Then what has he become?
The car or the plane.
I don't know.
I think you might have killed him.
Turn him inside out.
Has he got mouthful mode on?
No, because where does the mouthful magic happen?
Does it happen in his mouth or the outside of his mouth?
Because now we've happened.
So you've made the lips.
You've wrapped the outside of people's lips.
You've made Kirby the world.
Has he mouthful mode everything?
No, we haven't.
Or has he mouthful mode nothing?
Yeah, he's mouthful mode nothing.
He can't have mouthful mode the world.
But if the mouth magic happens in his mouth. That means when he opens his mouth, he's mouthful mode him. Yeah can't have mouthful mode-ed the world. But if the magic happens,
like the mouth magic happens in his mouth.
That means when he opens his mouth,
his mouthful mode-ing.
Yeah, because he's not encased to anything.
He's the opposite of encased to something.
He's decased himself.
Yeah, okay.
Fair enough.
Couldn't do it.
Anyway, I was thinking about the Grand Canyon.
Yeah.
And I was thinking about how it's really trepidatious
if you're on a mule going down the many rocky pathways.
And you think you could do better than a mule?
Yeah, because I'm paying more attention.
No, you're not.
I don't think you are, dude.
I'm not stubborn like a mule.
I'll go where I want to go.
You are stubborn like a mule.
That does make you stubborn like a mule.
You just said, I'm not stubborn.
I'll go where I want to go.
Well, yeah, but I'm me, so it's okay.
I'm not in partnership with the mule anymore.
You fall immediately down into the canyon because the travel guide not in partnership with the mule anymore i'm just immediately down into the
canyon because the travel guide who is like guiding the mules do that to my mule please
i just think the donkey's paying more attention like no matter what look you could like yes you
could uh get on this like you could suck off this mule, and you could start walking around, but I just feel that you don't pay enough attention.
You sometimes struggle walking across the street to not get by.
Are you telling me if we were on the Grand Canyon
and you had the option of riding a mule down or me down,
I would ride the mule.
This is crazy.
I wouldn't even hesitate.
Come to the mile, dude.
This is the mule.
You're not making it down to the bottom of the canyon.
Or you're getting there first.
You would either
get distracted and miss
a little bit of a ledge or
You just can't walk
in a straight line, which is also
something that's important for the mule.
Or you'd, I guess,
grossly
underestimate your own ability.
You have to overestimate your ability.
And you'll be like, I don't think I can make this jump.
I'm a mule.
Mules jump so far.
I'm basically a mule.
I've sucked off a mule.
Yeah.
And then we'll die.
And then you spit out the mule, hopefully catch it,
then mouthful mode a rock real quick.
Or a crow or something.
An eagle or a hawk fly away.
Except if I'm Kirby or I'm using Kirby rules,
I suck off the hawk and just get wings or whatever.
So, yeah, if we have a high suck off our plane,
isn't that a question?
Yeah.
And then I start flying.
Can I take off?
Because I'm thinking that might be the easiest part.
But do I get, yeah, what do I get?. Can I take off? Because I'm thinking that might be the easiest part. But do I get?
Yeah, what do I get?
Do I get the abilities?
I imagine, based on how the game works,
I feel like the movement of the object becomes similar to your own movements.
I reckon.
So it becomes second nature for me to take off and land?
Oh, okay.
Because the way that Kirby controls as a car feels differently to how a car controls,
if that makes any sense.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can jump as the car, for instance.
I can jump as the plane.
You love jumping, Jackson.
I do.
It's your favorite thing.
For joy?
For anger? Sadness?
Any emotion I have, I jump for.
If you can jump as a car,
that probably means you've got more abilities than the car would have normally.
I'm just trying to think, if I sucked off a car versus I drive a car, what's the benefits?
You can jump.
Jump.
There's a speed up button.
I have that.
It's called an accelerator.
No, but this one puts you in flames. Okay, that's cool looking. I have that one. It's called an accelerator. No, but this one puts you in flames.
Oh, okay.
That's cool looking, I guess.
I have that one.
It's called a bad accelerator.
And a faulty car.
A bad car.
Driving a fireball.
Yeah.
Has this ever happened to you?
You look down and, oh no, my titties are out.
And I've spilled sauce on them from this sausage roll I'm currently eating.
If only I had a t-shirt to cover up my shame and not get my titty sauced.
Well, do we have the solution for you.
Just head to sanspantsradio.com slash shop and grab a tea today.
Maybe you want the world to know that the vibe check is good.
Or may I suggest the Saucy Boys tea.
The perfect tea to mop up any sauce-based liquid
to save you the embarrassment of dripping sauce on your uncovered chest.
Once again, that's samspansradio.com slash shop.
The plane's covered because you're not paying for a ticket.
Plus you give the pilots a break.
That's nice.
But you also get the pilots in trouble when they are not flying the plane.
Also, it's not very fuel efficient, I guess,
because it's only one person, me.
Unless there's people in the plane.
If you suck off a plane, is that an act of terrorism?
Yeah.
That's hijacking a plane.
I guess I'd hijack the plane.
Are people in the plane?
Because I would assume there's no one in the plane.
Oh, empty plane.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
Then it's just stealing.
Yeah.
Okay.
Unless it's your plane. Buy the plane. Yeah. Okay. Unless it's your plane.
Buy the plane.
Buy the plane, suck off the plane.
I feel like a ticket is cheaper than buying a plane.
No, you buy the plane and then all the fuel you're not,
oh wait, no, you still gotta pay for the fuel
because it's your plane.
All the plane tickets you're not buying though.
Do I need to pay for fuel?
Or is it power by my own willpower?
Car doesn't run out of petrol in Kirby.
Do you think for every flight you've taken in as an adult,
the amount of money you save, you can buy a plane?
Not in the slightest.
Do you think in your whole life?
Wait, it doesn't need to be a good plane, does it?
If I could be a shitty plane, I could just like suck a bike plane,
and then I can keep going.
How much to buy a plane for Australian dollars?
I think it's going to be cheaper than we think.
Yeah, if I could get like a cheap-
Aircraft for sale.
Because it doesn't-
Plane sales.
Oh my God.
So I'm assuming-
I'm going to have to buy a plane?
Maybe.
So I'm assuming with mouthful mode, I don't have to worry about fuel.
Do I get tired?
Kirby never seems to.
He keeps going and going and going.
So I'm going to say you don't.
So yeah.
Well, in that case, then I can see the benefits of both having
a sucking off a car and a plane because I don't have to worry
about fuel. Yeah, it's going to save you a lot of
money. And also I don't have to worry about it looking nice because
it doesn't need to look nice because at the end of the day
it's going to be like human skin
over a car. It's going to look horrible
no matter what you do. Yeah. Planes are
not that expensive. Yeah, I thought planes would be cheaper
than we expected. Maybe probably that's not really does
buy a plane. How much do you expect them to
be? I'm imagining 10 grand
or the cheap mode. Yeah, I'm
going to say 50 grand maybe. 100k?
Somewhere in the 50 to 100 range. If you say
10k, I'll be like, wow. If you say under 10k,
I'll piss my pants right now. No, it's more
than 100k, but it's not like,
it's like 100. What's the cheapest plane we can get?
Yeah. The cheapest plane that's come up on
plane sales is where'd it go? There's a lot of places that hide the price which is rude yeah
those would be xc planes uh the cheapest plane currently listed that i can find on this one page
yeah is 167 000 okay that's not i mean it's a lot yes but it's also not that much it's a 2018 plane
yeah so if we went to get like i don't know't know, like a shitty biplane from, I don't know.
From the 1970s or whatever.
The 1920s.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait, what constitutes a plane?
What if I build one, like, real shit-like?
Oh, yeah.
How does that work?
What if I go to a plane graveyard?
Like, I assume where they put, you know, planes,
like what elephants do.
Yeah, where the planes go to bury their dead.
You know where the planes go and they mourn.
Yeah, that's a great... Because I think it's mouthful-moded on, like, say, like what elephants do. Yeah, where the planes go to bury their dead. You know where the planes go and they mourn. Yeah, that's a great-
Because I think it's mouthful-moded on, like, say, a dead plane.
Just found a plane for 40K.
We're getting a plane.
Everybody sign up to Sandspouts Plus so we can get a plane, okay?
A business jet is 1.1 mil.
We don't need that.
We just need the 40K plane.
The shitty bad plane.
I found another plane for 40K. See. We just need the 40k plane. The shitty bad plane. I found another plane for 40k.
See?
We can get a 40k plane.
I reckon there might be a plane for under 10k.
Bag's not learning how to fly it.
Bag's not learning how to fly it.
Suck shit.
Learning how to fly a plane.
Our lives in your hands.
Airman license.
Yeah, but hang on.
If I got a dead plane.
Does that count?
Because if Kirby isn't using fuel And he isn't getting tired
All he's really using is the wheels of the car
As long as there's a decent axle
It doesn't really matter in terms of how patched together it is
Because my human slash Kirby skin
Is the thing that's keeping it together
So therefore I could just get a shit plane
And a shit car and be fine.
But are you the speed of a
plane? Is Kirby the speed of a car?
Yeah. Oh, okay.
Am I the speed of a regular
car or am I the speed of this car?
You're the speed of the car that you're on, I think.
And it's prime?
No, I just think Howard.
Can you navigate from the air?
The first car Kirby sucks in in the game is a junk car, and it works.
Okay.
So I have the power to revitalize dead machinery.
I reckon no engine in the car still works, but no wheels, you're fine.
Yeah, so you just got to get basically like a plank of wood.
Yeah, put some wheels on it, you're good.
Do you think if you were in the air?
Because they already made those.
Yeah, get on a skateboard, you're fine.
Suck in a skateboard, but then you accidentally same size become a skateboard.
Get skateboard powers.
Yeah, get skateboard powers.
A kid's riding you.
Get a helmet and then your hands and feet just have wheels on them.
My human skin just like going down a rail or my belly.
They kickflip you, kicking you in the head.
Quit it, quit it.
Could you from the air figure out where to go?
No.
Zama goes up into the sky.
We never see him.
Surely a straight shot.
Yeah, how hard can it be to go to...
I know it's hard to navigate at sea because you have no landmarks or whatever.
Is it the same in air?
Well, I mean...
Can I use my thumbs and an iPhone and Google Map?
What happens to your hands and legs when you go mouthful mode?
The hands and feet just kind of dangle off the side.
Can I have...
So like when Kirby's a car, his feet are still attached.
What if I...
They're hanging at the back.
What if I have...
You just look at a map before you go.
I hope you're remembering.
But like what if I could have say like a headset that I can then talk to people.
The same headset in the same face that has just been stretched over a plane also what
do you imagine they'll tell you so you're in the air all you can see is cloud what are they saying
that'll help you uh which way am i headed are they like well you're heading north and i'm like
am i meant to they're like no where are you going i don't know or if i do this am i still heading
where i need to head they're like You are heading down. Please stop.
Yeah.
Then I got to also, you know, some of the beauty of being on a plane is I can just go to sleep.
Or I can watch my movies.
I'm not watching my movies.
You got an iPad in one of your, like, strung out little hands.
You can't even look at it.
I know, again, we're not talking day-to-day life, but occasionally we have been on a plane.
Yeah, we have.
As much as it does suck to be so tiny in a little tiny environment, you're like, day-to-day life, but occasionally we have been on a plane. Yeah, we have.
As much as it does suck to be so tiny in a little tiny environment,
you're like, I hate it, it's so long.
But some of the joy is watching a terrible film.
Yeah, exactly.
And just chilling. Having some time to yourself.
Yeah.
I don't have that as a plane because I'm stressed.
Yeah, yeah.
And, yeah, there's a chance you'll get lost
and end up in international waters or whatever.
Or get a lot of seagulls in my face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think we can, yeah. So seagulls in my face. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I think we can...
Yeah, so I can't...
Plane transport?
No.
No, yeah, cross it off.
Horse transport?
Still unclear.
I have a question about the horse.
Yep.
How...
Am I keeping it alive?
What do you mean?
So I suck off a horse.
Yeah.
And I stay like that for years.
Yeah.
Longer than a horse lives.
Does the horse die?
Or am I sustaining its existence? You would be sustaining
its existence, I would assume. Similar
to the fact if we can
suck off a dead car, that it is
alive. We can make the car go.
Okay. So then say I suck
off this horse for 40 years.
I'm an old man at this point.
The horse should have been dead
years ago. I de-sucked this point. The horses should have been dead years ago.
I de-sucked a horse.
What does the horse do?
Probably a skeleton because you've been sucking it too long.
Okay.
So like where your lips would end,
like that has like powerful horse legs,
but up top where you were sucking on it, a skeleton.
What if I, say for example, Jack, what if I sucked you off?
Oh, okay.
Well, you're the same size, so by Kirby rules, you just get Jackson powers.
Okay.
Sweaty.
What if I sucked you off?
Same thing.
But you're bigger than me.
No, but like, we're still... You're tall.
If Kirby sucks off, like, another Kirby...
Well, okay.
Although I can't suck in Meta Knight.
Yeah, true.
Is there a person big enough that I could suck off
and not get their powers, but only just mouthful of them?
What if I sucked off Shaq?
You go mouthful mode on Shaq?
Yeah, I guess.
All right.
I don't think I could fit Shaq in my mouth.
No, goodness, no.
Nor I.
He's huge.
Are we going to use your new Shaq powers to host a TV show?
Yeah, absolutely.
Star in Adam Sandler films.
Yeah. Adam Sandler
will be like, actually, in your current state, you're
disgusting to look at. Grown Ups 3, baby!
I'm like, I'm Shaquille O'Neal. You're
plaintively not.
Although, I think that might work in our favour. At this
car, you are disgusting to look at. You're hot, you're
hot. Yeah, you're in our new league.
Okay! Oh my god.
Where's my mouth? Where am I talking?
How am I talking?
Because if my lips are over-sharked, I'm assuming I've gone from head down.
How far down shark do you get?
I would assume I'm around his knees or something.
Yeah, okay.
Like I'm all the way down. Well, yeah, if you're around his knees, he's not walking.
You have to be around his waist.
Shark shuffles everywhere like he's got a sleeping bag on him.
So I guess, or would I kind of end at his neck?
So I can use his arms. No, it would be waste. And you at his neck? So I could use his arms.
No, it would be waste.
And you would.
But then I need to use his arms.
Yeah, you might be able to use a guy's arms if you suck off a guy.
And then the guy's arms are out to the side.
Maybe they're like straps for his skin.
No, the arms would be straight down because you're sucking them off.
Look, you'd look like a man wearing a big condom.
Yeah, I know what they are.
But I was like, what if I just went to his neck?
What you want to do, actually, you want to
go feet up. But then I can't walk.
No, but he kind of goes in you
and he uses you like a big
marionette.
He almost ends around his neck.
But he's still talking.
He's like, get it off me!
If you get a sleeping bag
and you put a hand in either
corner and a foot in either corner and you walk like that.
Yeah, that's how Shaq lives now.
That's how it lives.
Shaq's getting skeletonised inside.
Except he's got a beautiful, beautiful face.
That's crazy when you leave and it's just skeleton with Shaq head
and he crumples to the ground.
Poor Shaquille O'Neal.
He didn't deserve this.
And how did that even benefit you?
I got to meet Adam Sandler. He ate Shaquille O'Neill. He didn't deserve this. And how did that even benefit you? I got to meet Adam Sandler.
He ate Shaquille O'Neill.
Got to host a TV show
about sport. That's pretty good work,
maybe. No, because if you sucked in
Shaquille O'Neill, either you're not hosting because
you can't talk, or Shaquille O'Neill is still
talking. Oh, that's nice. I get to be
I get to be all of Shaquille O'Neill's
greatness.
I get to be in the shadow of Shaquille O'Neal.
Shaquille O'Neal is like, hey, welcome to whatever sports program I host.
Please shoot me with a gun.
He might know something a little different about me.
But again, where does the control happen?
Am I like through the mouthful magic?
Am I controlling him now?
What it feels like if you've gone from the feet up is that Shaquille O'Neal should be walking on his hands now.
That's what I'm thinking.
That's how you get around.
Either way, I just...
Yeah, so if I go from top down, where am I stopping?
Well, yeah, no.
If I get over his head...
It would probably be waist,
only because if you only went head,
that's not big enough for mouthful mode.
Yeah, you've got to go waist, and then his legs move,
and your head is...
All right, in between his legs, kind of.
Where am I speaking?
You could for real suck him off that way.
That's cool.
Yeah.
It makes you think.
But where do I talk?
Can I talk?
Yeah, your head talks.
It's just down here.
I've got a whole shack in my mouth.
Can you talk at any point when your mouth,
when you're sucking off a horse, can you talk?
No, I guess not.
I mean, I can probably make this noise.
That means he loves it.
He loves sucking off that horse, I think.
Yeah, look how happy he is.
He's so happy.
Oh, he died.
Or at least the horse did.
Are you going to go check?
No.
So I guess any... Because I guess we can't really suck off like a person.
That seems like we can't do.
Cause person you just pretty much get their abilities.
So you kill or you suck them and then all of a sudden you've got a basketball on your
pole I guess.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
I can dunk.
What about sucking off the moon?
Get to see earth from such beautiful angles.
Make tides or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can then move it.
Ruin Earth.
I gotta show the boys!
Why?
Because we know it is over.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes.
Oh shit, I'm the moon, time to show the boys!
And that was the moment that Earth ended.
I gotta show the boys, and then it's like you threw it off a TV.
Like one of those old, like a CRT TV.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, he killed everyone.
He showed the boys.
Okay, that's fair.
Where's Jackson?
You look up at the big pink moon.
I think we're about to die.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
You suck off the moon.
One of us sucks off the whole earth.
I gotta show the boys.
I gotta show Jack.
One of us could suck off the sun. Why? At this point. Hot! I gotta show the boys, I gotta show Jack!
One of us could be like, suck off the sun, why? Hot!
People can still live in the space where your mouth isn't.
I mean...
The cavity of your mouth?
People can still live, because if you're sucking off earth because the way mouthful mode works is the reason
that I think like
it's never explicitly said but I think part of the reason
why it still works
why mouthful mode
works the same way it does
keep saying same you know what I mean
is because Kirby doesn't
can't close his mouth around it
so there'll still be a bit of earth revealed.
And that'll be in your lips will be like mouths.
Imagine a gobstopper that's so big that you can't close your lips around it.
Yeah, I can imagine it.
Like if you went to put, like how a dog would have, say, a tennis ball in its mouth.
Yeah, exactly.
The bit of tennis ball that is not in its mouth is where humanity would have to live.
And so if you're there for, say, you you know 40 years yeah you spit it out it goes flying
you die immediately
but like a bit of earth that was like there'd be like a pristine earth yeah and the rest of earth
would be wetter sucked on and scalded i guess I guess. Sucked earth. Where were you when you and Earth got sucked?
In the sucked pit, and now I'm in heaven.
The world is a sucked wasteland.
What would happen to a sucked earth?
It would be wet, I guess.
Muddy?
If you sucked off Earth, would you drink the ocean?
No, because Kirby's not constantly...
Because he's not...
We made you eat that horse.
Well, you were doing it over the course of 40 years.
Yeah, exactly.
We assume that slowly the horse or whatever is in your mouth
is skeletonized.
You know, it's wind and all of those sort of things.
Imagine that happens and we find out that Earth has a skeleton.
Oh, no. Don't tell all of those sort of things. We find out that Earth has a skeleton. Oh, no.
Don't tell anyone.
Everyone, shush.
This is our secret.
Because you'd be putting a seal over the Earth as well.
So you're not really getting any.
It would be probably quite like a gobstopper.
You'd sort of suck away the various strata layers.
Yeah, until it was just magma on the other side.
And then you spit it out because it's too hot in your mouth.
Yeah.
Everyone dies.
And then, as opposed to, I don't know, you showing us the moon,
we show the moon Earth.
That's cool that this whole time I've just been the moon.
It's been sick, I guess.
You're watching?
That's cool.
This is awesome.
I give a thumbs up.
I give a thumbs up.
Yeah, that's another question I wanted to know.
Is it, like, gigantic head, tiny body the same size as it always was?
Well, yeah, that's how it...
I can't see your thumb at all.
You're minuscule to me.
We're just two big floating heads, basically.
Well, no, because like, well, not even heads because our eyes are still the same.
Yeah.
I can't see shit.
I struggled flying a plane in a straight line.
I don't know if I can maintain this orbit.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
And also, we're exploring the galaxy, I guess.
Earth to spaceship now.
That's really nice.
If you're the sun douche, you better be keeping the sun on the little patch of earth.
Occasionally.
And then ride this turn away or else we're going to cook.
You've got to be so careful.
You have to be the care...
We have to be the carefulest.
I'm pretty safe as the moon, really, right?
No.
We need you for tides.
For tides, yeah.
It's exactly the...
The earth, the moon, and the sun, I would say,
could all do cataclysmic, irreversible damage in the wrong hands. Wait, if you mouthful mode the sun, I would say, could all do cataclysmic, irreversible damage in the wrong hands.
Wait, if you mouthful mode the sun, you are encasing the sun.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm wiping out humanity.
Once again, when we're talking about like a tennis ball in a dog's mouth,
the sun in a doucher curvy's mouth is that little bit of sun there.
Yeah, it's like he's got a torch in his mouth.
Yeah, you got a torch.
That's why he's going to keep that bit directly on Earth. Well, not directly. Occasionally move it around so we get a bit of sun there. Yeah, it's like he's got a torch in his mouth. Yeah, you got a torch. That's why he's going to keep that bit directly on Earth.
Well, not directly.
Occasionally move it around so we get a bit of sun every...
If I'm moving around and moving the tides, can you feel that in your mouth?
Maybe.
That's cool.
I reckon.
Well, not...
Yeah, how much...
Well, I guess because it's only like a layer of human skin over the Earth.
Yeah, yeah.
I reckon it would still have an effect.
There would be whole ecosystems we would be making.
That's true.
And then ruining the
moment you spit it out.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Big time.
Big time.
Setting Earth
rocketing on.
We all go three,
two, one, spit and
then all three things
just collide.
Like marbles.
Yeah.
Except unlike marbles
it wouldn't be like
bouncing back.
It would just be
everything goes into
the sun and nothing
happens.
Oh yeah. It sounds big. and nothing happens. Oh, yeah.
The sun's big.
The sun is big.
The sun's huge.
Yeah.
I don't know how that would help us in our day-to-day life.
No, it doesn't really provide much benefit.
So, yeah, so I guess, like, transport and becoming, you know,
celestial bodies doesn't help us in our day-to-day life.
I'm trying to think of what would help me in my day-to-day life
because, like, transport, I can just get into a car.
I don't need to be a car.
What's better to be than to use?
Yeah. Yeah. Like, if I'm, like, regular day-to-day life because my transport i can just get into a car i don't know what's better to be than to use yeah yeah like if i'm like um look let's look at regular day-to-day okay so uh i wake up nice uh in in a bed is it better to use a bed or be a bed use a bed use a bed to use a bed
i don't i can't see any benefit yeah no um toilet is it better to be a toilet or to have the powers
of a toilet better to use the toilet yeah yeah toilet? It's better to use the toilet or use the toilet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I make a coffee using a coffee machine.
Yeah.
Now, do I become the coffee machine to make it or do I just press a button and then do
other things?
That's probably easier, pressing the button.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I then usually I do like a little bit of light exercise, like some stretching yoga, that
kind of stuff.
Nice.
And I usually do that like by watching TV and like a little thing TV. If you are the TV, you can't do the exercise.
Yeah, that's true.
You can't see the TV either.
Yeah.
Okay, all right.
I've got to feed the cats.
Now, is it easy to feed the cats or be the cats and then eat?
It's probably easier to be the cats and eat.
That's true.
There you go.
If you become a cat, walk up to the thing.
I am bigger than a cat. So if he eats a cat, he's sucking off a cat and becoming the you become a cat, walk up to the thing. I am bigger than a cat.
So I'm just sucking off a cat and becoming the powers of a cat.
He kills his cats, makes them a star.
Gets the cat's powers.
If I kill a cat, look, and then I never got to feed him again.
That's true.
And you've got two sweet cat ears and a cat tail.
Yeah, that's a good point.
I don't know what your power would be.
Probably like a scratch attack.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And a meow.
Yeah, yeah. Okay. I a meow. Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I've got some explaining to do to my beautiful wife.
I hate the cats.
Hey, I hate the cats.
I thought it would be easy to feed them.
Turns out I'm big.
Look, I know I've got a problem sometimes with just like where I am spatially.
I know to you, yeah, it's obvious.
So you would assume that I am a bigot.
And look, you're going to be like, well, then clearly you figured it out by the first one,
yet we now have two stars for some reason.
The two stars just sit in the cat bed.
Yeah, I assume.
I need to double check.
Yeah, look, I thought maybe one was an accident.
Maybe I fucked up.
And then the second one was definitely a fuck up.
So they're not good.
Okay.
So eating cereal or like making some toast
so is it easier
to put two pieces of bread
in a toaster
or become a toaster
well
probably
okay so
probably being a toaster
though would be pretty good
basic
shoot the toast in the air
like an attack
with mouthful mode
does it need to be bigger than me
yeah
okay
so I'm becoming a toaster
and I'm putting
bits of bread
in me
to shoot out of my chest I imagine well you might be able to if you'm becoming a toaster, and I'm putting bits of bread in me to shoot out of my chest, I imagine.
Well, you might be able to, if you sucked in a toaster, normal Kirby mode,
you might just be able to shoot toast all the time.
And you just do that into a bowl and then become regular again.
Why are you eating toast into a bowl?
Yeah, what the fuck?
There's a lot of them.
I thought you could collect them easier that way.
And then you lose a toaster at the end of it,
which is funny.
You don't get your toaster.
Oh yeah,
you gotta buy more toasters.
That's the problem.
You can't,
you know,
well,
actually this is an important question.
This is a benefit of mouthful mode,
I guess.
When Kirby mouthfuls a car,
when he stops,
is the car just still there?
Yes.
Oh,
okay.
Yeah.
That's the benefit.
Yeah.
Cause if you get the powers of a car,
you've also lost your car.
Cause if I mouthful mode a Shaq,
then Shaq's still there.
But if I Kirby'd Shaq, I'd kill Shaq.
Fingers crossed.
What about, like...
I guess that's that.
Then, like, say I've got to run some errands, get in my car and go to a store.
Maybe sucking off a car is easier than driving a car.
Yeah, maybe sucking off a car is easier than driving a car. Yeah, yeah.
But you have to get totally aware of, like,
or get used to, like, totally different, like, visual cues.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you might crash your car straight away or crash you.
Or someone hits me.
Someone is distracted because, like, what is that?
And then they run in the back of me and, like,
oh, my arsehole, that is my car currently.
Oh, my God.
I rammed this man's arsehole.
I did not mean to do that.
I'm imagining my arsehole, but underneath there is the sharp tailpipe,
and that car is hitting my arsehole through the tailpipe.
And now, basically, I have no arsehole anymore
because it's taken a big spherical cut.
It's crazy to not have an arsehole because it's a hole. Yeah, you still have an arsehole, but it's taken a big like spherical cut yeah it's crazy to not have an asshole because it's a hole yeah like you still have an ass hole but it's not your ass hole yeah
it's just like a hole where your ass is yeah yeah not good so i guess that's just uh you know go
get you know uh go to the store so i get a trolley um then put groceries in. Probably need a beer trolley.
How do I grab the food?
I have to go with somebody and they can grab the food.
I guess the benefit is they don't have to wheel you.
You can wheel yourself.
It's not about helping me.
I guess this is helping my wife.
Who's mourning the loss of two cats?
Who's mourning the loss of two cats?
I'm now a trolley
helping us do the show. I'm sorry. I'll be a trolley helping us do the show.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'll be a trolley.
Yeah, again, making food, no issues there.
Doing this, if I became a microphone.
Not easy.
It would sound horrible.
No, no, he sounds the same.
Also, I'm not mouth-formoting this.
I'm just eating the powers of the microphone.
Kirby has a microphone thing,
and it yells into the microphone,
killing every enemy on the stage. So I don't know if that would help us. Hey, I'm Joel. I'm just... Kirby has a microphone thing and it yells into the microphone, killing every enemy on the stage.
Hey, I'm Joel!
We're gone.
I'm sitting down on a couch.
Once again, I'm being a couch.
Sitting down's better.
And then you're
back to bed and bed again and
going to bed is better than being in bed.
Let's go date night., going to see a movie.
Oh, okay.
Is it better to, you know, go watch a movie or suck off the big screen and become being
projected off?
Sucking off the projector.
What would happen?
Yeah, what would happen?
Well, you'd project the movie out of your mouth now.
Yeah, but now, yeah, but like.
What movie is it?
Am I?
Could you pick a random movie or could you?
It's Morbius.
Okay.
It's always Morbius. It's Morbius. Okay.
It's always Morbius.
Whoa.
As I suck off, as I de-throat this projector, as it shoots out, I see the opening, see Morbius.
Oh.
Yeah.
And then it's like, Dr. Michael Morbius at your service.
Whoa.
Now, is it Morbius or is it Morbius as I remember it?
Because one of those
might be better.
Well, if it is,
also, if it is just Morbius,
does it just run out eventually?
I don't know.
Is it projecting nothing?
Well, maybe, probably.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Probably a set amount
of screenings.
Date night,
what about lovemaking?
Does it improve lovemaking?
Become a Sibian. Become your wife.
Then you get the powers of your wife.
You get the powers of your wife and you're like,
I can never stop. This is the only way I can be close to her.
If I get rid of this power, she's gone forever.
Sad.
I've already killed my god.
I've killed my cats and my wife.
Getting the powers of Kirby has actually brought so much tragedy into my life.
It's not good.
So otherwise, yeah, if I become a giant Sibian, then what's the benefits there?
Well, you could make the Sibian maybe go quicker than it would normally.
Because I still have to buy the Sibian.
You don't save money on costs.
I guess you save money on electricity costs
because you don't have to plug it in, maybe.
But also, wouldn't it be better for, like, you know,
they're using the Sibian and we can join and do other things at the same time.
You know what?
So what's the benefit?
I am the Sibian.
Good.
I will vibrate, I guess.
Yay!
This is awesome.
I'm absolutely getting off on this.
There's no erogenous zone where the recipient currently is to get my back.
It's so funny to be sarcastic during sex.
Oh, this rules.
This is great.
I'm really getting off of this.
Hey, well done, babe.
Yeah, good job.
You really nailed that one, didn't you?
That was the best suck-off I've ever had.
Oh, yeah.
I came.
Where's my little dick in this situation?
I guess it depends how you've mouthed it,
but maybe smushed into the floor.
That sucks.
Being directly down is not comfortable.
I guess it's kind of like tucking.
I was having a good time.
This would be painful.
But if you sucked off the other way, it's funnier that there's just a dick on top.
Why? Then your dick vibrates, because of the septum!
Kinda works!
Maybe, uh, does it enhance lovemaking?
Or is it like, I don't wanna make- I don't wanna fuck you because you are stretch-skiing over a sip of your-
Yeah, you've become hard to look at, my love.
But you're like, yeah this rules though, because it's vibrating my dick and balls from the inside.
Yeah, but I can't say that.
I'd be like...
That's all right.
I don't communicate anymore.
That's his coming noise.
Watching a dick vibrating on top of a Sibian just jizz
would be so horrible.
I think it would rule.
I think it would be unreal.
Sick.
Just flop it around for a bit, then getting hotter and hotter and hotter,
and then just like...
I don't know why the juice made a laser noise.
I guess I could stop the vibration.
It just kept going.
Unsuck it! Unsuck it!
Ah!
It might have closed the door at this point
spit it out
the Scipian with force
ruin our bed
Scipian slams
at the wall
you're kind of like
delirious
wandering around the room
oh my god
just desiccated
you gotta try that
you're gonna get
mouthful mode babe
oh my lord
you found the benefit
I guess
yeah
so that's date night that's date night it's pretty good Get mouthful mode, babe. Oh, my Lord. You found the benefit, I guess. Yeah.
So that's date night.
That's date night.
It's pretty good.
I'm trying to think of hobbies, activities.
Would it be more fun to be a roller coaster or go on a roller coaster?
Go on a roller coaster. I don't know, because if I'm being a roller coaster
and my eyes are directly at the front of the roller coaster.
Yeah, where you can't see shit?
No.
Because you're looking directly at the track?
I'm not looking down.
No, but if you look straight, you're still really low.
Yeah, but that's maybe more thrilling than looking from a higher angle.
So you're just the roller coaster.
Like my face is on the front of a roller coaster.
Oh, I was thinking of the tracks of the roller coaster.
Imagining just people.
Oh, my back!
Just the cart or whatever, just going straight down.
This doesn't seem more fun.
It's just splitting me open.
Yeah.
No, being a roller, like on the front of the roller coaster.
Wait, because you've got to take it from the back, I guess.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where are your eyes, though?
They're on either side.
You've got to almost go take it like the cart straight down yeah you're scary can't see yeah yeah yeah that's true that's
true what about a zeppelin I get to see a bird's eye view but I'm not you know in the planes you're
looking up fuck yeah fuck also got the same same problem as a plane where you going going. Yeah. What if I became my house?
Oh, okay.
Is there benefits there?
No.
Not really.
Because with a house it's comforts.
There's things inside the house
but no one's like,
man, I wish I was
the outside of my house
until just now, obviously.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just thinking of things
that I see in a day-to-day life
that I could potentially
not fit in my mouth.
What about I guess you could just like when you go to the shop just eat of things that I see in a day-to-day life that I could potentially not fit in my mouth. What about-
I guess you could just like, when you go to the shop,
just eat the guy that's trying to sell you shit
and then you get it for free.
What?
What?
You mean like suck off the person that I'm buying it off,
but then I killed them?
Yeah, you just get the powers.
I guess the powers are owning the shop.
Yeah.
And then you-
But if you own the shop, you still-
I mean- So if I go to the ceo of calls
your ability is your calls now i become the ceo what happens when he shits out the ceo of calls
calls it tanks that's sad yeah i don't know if i don't know if the ceo gets like
free groceries no that's true. He probably does.
What about sucking off, say, a moose or a bear
and then wreaking havoc on a town?
But like in the shack situation, where is your mouth ending?
My mouth ends around the legs of the moose.
Yeah.
So that's easy to imagine because, well,
those antlers can't do damage, so you've just got to trample stuff.
But if you're doing it a bear, a lot of the bears, It's easy to imagine because like, well, his antlers can't do damage. So you just got to trample stuff.
But if you're doing it a bear, a lot of the bears, like, you know,
it stands up on its hind legs and slashes and uses its mouth to bite.
Well, maybe I like suck off the bear.
How is this improving your day-to-day life? Arse first.
Yeah, like my lips, my lower lips are on the bear's arse,
just under its cheeks.
And then my upper lip is just behind the bear's neck.
So I'm kind of like a remora on the bear's neck because you've got the back legs
dragging me around. What about?
I got the perfect thing for it.
I do it to an anaconda so we can see what it feels like.
Get a taste of your own medicine.
Huh?
Yeah.
I suck off an anaconda so its head's poking out of my mouth.
What do you think of this?
It sliggers out slightly, bites you in the face.
What if I became,
I'm trying to think of
other appliances that I use,
like an oven,
can I make my,
like a stovetop?
Beer shower,
wash your insides?
Oh yeah.
No,
beer shower,
wash my wife.
Oh yeah.
Cool.
I guess.
It'd be nice to wash your insides, they're probably dirty. Oh actually, Cool. I guess. It'd be nice to wash your insides
they're probably dirty.
Oh actually yeah.
Yeah.
I need to clean out.
In the game
Kirby sucks on a tap
for mouthful mode
and becomes a giant
water balloon basically.
Oh there you go.
Okay so I would just
become a giant water balloon.
Yeah I mean then you just
pierce the shit out the water
or spit it out.
This is sounding less good.
I mean look
I don't want to
burst your bubble here
but I can do that there.
No, but is it like,
I can just put a tap in my mouth
and just hurt myself
but swallow some of that water
and then later piss it out.
Piss and shit it out.
No, but get real big.
I reckon you could fuck yourself up
by doing that.
You could damage your body pretty easily.
If I really got a long tap
and it went
right down to my belly
and then turned on
that water
and just fill it up
to like exploding
I mean we could do that
but Kirby stretches
so that's a different
yeah you wouldn't die
I guess doing a mouthful mode
my belly might stretch
a little bit
but then it will burn
and it will pop
Kirby goes almost
see through
because of how much water
that's in his mouth
that's fucked up
to think about
so I guess he's like
mouthful moding water yeah mouthful mode's a guess he's like mouthful-moding water?
Yeah.
Yeah, mouthful-mode's a tab.
So if I mouthful-moded a cow... Yes.
It's not about wreaking havoc.
No, but it's about getting milk.
Okay.
So, what milk...
Would you rather be a cow and get milked that way
or have the powers of a cow and get milked that way?
Oh. Well, if you've got the powers of the cow... What does it feel like to get milked that way or have the powers of a cow and get milked that way. Oh.
Well, if you've got the powers of the cow.
What does it feel like to be milked?
Awesome.
It feels spectacular.
If I'm mouthful-moving, how much do I feel?
Someone's sucking in your nipples until you lactate.
That's what it feels like.
If I'm mouthful-moving, what do I feel?
What do I feel?
Oh, you feel nothing to the cow getting milked
if you're mouthful-moving.
But you can make it milk itself basically
yeah
like you could just
make the muscles
in the teats contort
and it would just
jet milk onto the tooth
controlling its hooves
to push
could do that too
I'm sorry a cow
would do that
milk itself
I would shoot it
with a gun
that's why you always
carry around a gun
just in case
yeah
I guess
I have been
a dairy farming wrong
yeah I guess sucking off a cow getting the powers of the cow then you milk yourself that would be nice I have been dairy farming wrong.
Yeah, I guess.
Sucking off a cow, getting the powers of the cow.
Then you milk yourself.
That would be nice.
Would the milk be your milk or cow milk?
Cow milk.
No, it'd be cow milk.
You'd shoot it into a cup?
Oh, it's cow milk.
Oh, no.
Don't drink this.
Ah, shit.
Damn it.
I no wonder it felt so incredible when I was milking myself.
They were little penises, I guess.
Who knew?
This is why the cows love to be milked.
Oh, okay.
I get it.
No, I think, yeah, I guess I get an endless supply of milk.
That's pretty good.
That's neat.
Yeah.
I guess my otter would be where my belly is, maybe.
Yeah, it'd be awesome to have an otter.
You could suck on it yourself, cum in your own mouth.
Exactly.
Make it a coffee, and then
just like,
drink it frothy, delicious.
Shake up
my udders, get frothy cum.
Yeah, it's good.
Some people like salt in their coffee, so you know.
Love it.
Love it as well.
I think I just suck off Air Force One. I'm the president now, motherfuckers.
And on that note.
I mean, the president's plane.
And then you spit it out.
Oh, no.
I think if I sucked off the president's plane,
I mean, they're trying to shoot me.
They can't because the president's in me.
Also, the president's riding the plane where you're at.
Well, yeah, because if the president's in the plane,
I suck off the plane.
That is an act of terrorism, but what can they do?
Why don't you suck off the motorcade or whatever?
Suck off JFK.
Protect him.
Suck off JFK's car.
Protect him from the bullet.
Get shot.
Get shot.
National hero.
Yes.
Thank goodness.
National hero doesn't count, I think,
if you're not from the nation.
Still, you would be celebrated.
International hero.
Thank goodness for Joel Dusha's mouthful mode.
He sucked us off so well with the bullets.
So if you sucked off a big clock like Big Ben
and you control time and go backwards?
No, but I could bong, Eves.
I wish Dusha wasn't sucking off Big Ben.
Bong, bong, bong, bong.
London sucks now.
It's all right.
I'll stop alright I'll stop
I'll stop
So yeah I guess there's a good way
You could suck off Big Ben
Yeah make London dog shit
Yeah yeah yeah
Infinite bong sounds
They are on the hour and by that I mean every minute
Whenever I feel like it
Everybody has to get used to the bongs or destroy Big Ben
Those are the choices
Yeah yeah Got em that has to get used to the bongs or destroy Big Ben. Those are the choices.
Got him.
Maybe the only good use of mouth promote in our day to day life.
Fly to London, become Big Ben,
suck off bong heaps
until the people of London
decide they have to destroy Big Ben.
So without mission to kill
Big Ben? Because if so...
I would say in many ways, plumbing the Death Stars mission is always to kill Big Ben? Because if so... I would say in many ways, Plumbing the Death Star's mission
is always to kill Big Ben.
I hate that clock.
Yeah, we all hate that clock.
He thinks it's so big.
He thinks it's so good.
It's so fucking good.
It's not even digital.
Yeah, exactly.
Fuck that clock.
I've seen about a clock.
I've seen so many clocks.
I've got a clock on my goddamn phone right now.
Exactly.
And a clock on my goddamn wrist.
We don't need a big clock on a tower.
That's dumb.
Fuck that clock.
I'm glad we ruined it.
Yeah, me too. And on that note, I've
been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've also been Joel.
Mouthful mode. It sucks.
Yeah.
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