Plumbing the Death Star - How Would You Get Rich in the Flintstones Era with Flintstone Era Technology? with Our Good Friend Adam
Episode Date: May 26, 2024Yabba dabba doo Joel Duscher is a sick little boy but never fear, resident best boy Adam Carnevale was in the studio to help us have a bit of think about how we would make it rich in the Flintstones e...ra. Jackson wants to have an infinite budget and an army of competent engineers to revolutionise the way the people of Bedrock communicate, Adam wants to wage war and Zammit keeps pivoting. Great philosophical questions are asked like What happens when your toaster goes rogue? and How do you convince Cain to take out Abel? Is having a shower that is part of the family good? So listen and or watch as the three dumbest boys you know try to make it big in this modern stone age society.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Ahem, ahem.
You're listening to the Sands Pants Network.
Hello everybody and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star.
I'm Jackson.
I'm Joel.
I'm Adam.
Plumbing the Death Star is a pop culture podcast where we ask the important questions like,
how would you get rich in the Flintstones era with Flintstones era technology.
The question?
Flintstones.
Yes.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
That's pure coincidence. No, that's the periods.
I think you'll find.
Excuse me.
That's the periods.
Yabba dabba don dolben.
It's the periods. Jackson you'll find. Excuse me, that's the periods. Yabba dabba don dolben. It's the periods.
Jackson is wearing a Flintstones-style jumper.
Yeah, that would have...
Anyway.
If you weren't watching,
that's why you've got to watch the YouTube video, okay?
We can watch this on YouTube right now.
Why aren't you?
Yeah.
Scumbags.
Anyway.
Unless you are, then beautiful.
Then thank you.
Thank God.
So the Flintstones,
they are a Stone Age modern family.
So I hear.
And all of their technology, why, it is dinosaur or shell and bone related.
Okay.
And we are asking today, I suppose if we got transported back in time with an infinite budget.
Yes.
An infinite budget?
And an army of competent engineers.
Okay.
Okay.
So we are taking an infinite budget and infinite competent engineers back in time.
Yes.
No.
What do you mean?
You know the expression to put a hat on a hat?
Did you open up a motherfucking hat store?
I was just thinking, if we were to go back in time,
how are we to make these inventions?
Well, isn't that the question?
My king, my brother, is that not the challenge of today's episode?
Maybe one of you needs to go first. Right, okay. Brother, is that not the challenge of today's episode?
Maybe one of you needs to go first.
Right, okay.
So I was thinking, I was imagining that I was born in the Flintstones.
Let's do that.
Let's do that.
I had to make some crust. Let's do that.
Let's do that.
I had to earn those big eggs that I love to eat.
That's what I was imagining.
Anyway, so I was thinking in a similar way of like I want to transport all of us back into a time,
like say an early 2000s for us.
Okay.
Where the bottled water market overnight just felt like anywhere.
It just started booming.
Everyone was like, you know what?
I do not want Coke.
I want a water.
I want a Dishani.
I want a Voss. Yeah, yeah, not want Coke. I want a water. I want a Dishani. I want a Voss.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want a vitamin water.
I remember so many vitamins, i.e. sugar.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And now I guess more about today, it's more about just not so much the bottled water,
but the bottle itself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
A lot of different money we made in just water and water accessories.
You think you could make a plastic bottle?
No.
But I think what I can make or have access to in the Flintstone tech is a mammoth.
Right.
How small can mammoth be?
Has there ever been a small mammoth?
Yes.
So this is one of those little bits of trivia people love to say.
Is that during the period of time in which the ancient Egyptians were building pyramids,
there existed on an island.
Is that the same time as the Flintstones?
Somewhere.
I'm just curious.
Shut up.
There existed on an island somewhere a pygmy mammoth.
Fantastic news.
So they did get little.
Yes.
Right.
So what I am imagining is in the morning you take your pygmy mammoth
to a lovely clean river and then you get its trunk
and you snort out that water and you carry it around in your pocket
and then when you are quenched or when you have done in your car running around,
you're sweaty, you are thirsty, You can grab your pygmy mammoth
and do your math.
I'm just imagining a guy
sucking the water out of the river
with the mammoth's trunk
and then drinking it straight away
and people being like,
why aren't you just drinking it
out of the river?
And that guy's seething
because he knows he's been gone.
No, it's actually better this way.
I don't think it is, dude.
Well, that's what people trick themselves into with bottled water.
I'll concede that point.
I have a question, though.
Oh, shoot.
I have answers.
So, with the rules with Flintstone Tech, I'm genuinely unclear on this.
Do they need to feed the animals?
Well, the garbage disposal.
Yeah, but the garbage disposal It's job is to eat
That I don't think
It's a living
It is a living
Does that mean they go to work?
Like as in
A clock on
Yeah like
A water bottle that goes home for the night
Yeah like just a water bottle
When you're not using it
So say at night
Yes
I
That would be so frustrating
Because you'd either Either you've not got your water bottle for the night and there's no bedside water bottle, or you would have to pay penalty rates for a night bottle.
I'm imagining because I'm thinking of, say, for example, the lawnmower that they have, which is usually just a dinosaur struck to some kind of device.
And sure, it is eating up that grass when it mows.
But if you know you're a bit lazy, you don't know your grass,
what happens to that tool?
I don't know.
Is it sort of, you know, start the starving in the shed?
We simply must imagine the Warn Mower dinosaur happy.
We simply must imagine the Worm Mower Dinosaur happy. We simply must imagine
the Worm Mower Dinosaur happy.
I think we have to assume that the Flintstones
are... Because these aren't pets.
No, because they do, I'm pretty sure
they actually use something like this already.
Actually, now that my memory is
kicking into place. They use something like a woolly mammoth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't think that's true. I think they do. They use some
kind of tech like this, which is basically to do the dishes.
Oh, okay, the Flintstones.
Yes, they do.
Yeah.
Okay.
They reach the, they got the dirty plate, they dip it in the thing,
and then the dinosaur licks it up or whatever.
And they get the-
It's a trunk.
It's a trunk.
Yeah.
And then they clean it.
That is quite funny.
I'm just remembering that now.
Flintstones, pretty funny.
Yeah.
It's a good time.
Because the mammoth are outside the house.
I think that's amusing.
So in your mind, because I think the small mammoths were just like yay big.
Yeah.
So I just have that with me all day.
Yeah.
And I-
The advantage of it is that it's an animal.
It can walk and follow you.
You're not carrying it.
Yeah, true.
Also, I was going to think like the camel-
Camelback.
Yeah.
Water things, right?
Because, yes, while everyone is making fun of little dick me sitting there by the river.
I'm calling you a little dick, yeah.
I'm like, hey.
Squirting it in my mouth.
Hey, Barney.
Drinking out the middle.
That guy's got a tiny dick.
Are you all right, Barney?
Yeah, that's all I love.
Why am I Bonnie with Fred?
You're Bonnie.
I thought you said Fred.
Neither one of them laughed.
Wouldn't have made sense for either guy.
I'm sure one of...
No, they laugh like that.
Your laugh went on too long.
It was scary.
It just kept going.
The joke was over.
I'm so scared. That's like there needed to be
a smash cut to you in the back of an ambulance.
An ambulance
that was on the back of a brontosaurus.
And Wilma was like, I'm scared,
Barty!
Yeah.
Oh, boy! But at least give me the noise
was right. The noise was right. Thank give me the noise was right.
The noise was right.
Thank you.
The noise was right.
All right.
So yes, I'm being making fun of,
I'm slipping down that mammoth trunk.
Yes.
At that moment in time, sure.
I'm laughing at you.
But when we're out in the desert or wherever it is,
or there may be, we're out in an area.
You're taking a woolly mammoth into the desert?
We're shaving that mammoth.
Or I'm at work
Right
You're on the construction site
Sure
Where I'm like
You know
Oh
You're on your brontosaurus
And you have to get down
And have to go get up
Or you gotta stay in
Cause you gotta
You know
You can't clock off
Cause the bus is a piece of shit
Yeah
And you only get
A certain amount of breaks
However
In my little cabin
I got my little
Little water mammoth, and I
am so
hydrated. I think part of the
problem is, because people were able to trick
themselves, because while
we know, on an
intellectual level, we know that plastic
isn't actually clean, and
it's not good for us.
But, we could, and back in the day
we did, and we still do today,
people trick themselves into thinking that it's cleaner.
Right.
You don't get that benefit if you're locking lips with a mammoth trunk.
Well, he's not locking lips because it's the nose.
Yeah.
That's what a trunk is.
I'm talking locking his lips.
Yeah.
I don't think you're getting that.
Hey, if it's good enough to clean my dishes,
which I didn't eat off.
And again, this is Flintstone logic.
This ain't real life logic.
I don't have to boil the water.
Also, my gut, I am a caveman.
My gut is probably great for all the parasites I'm consuming.
Because I've been to the zoo recently.
I can't help but imagine.
And I saw an elephant drink. That's so fresh in my memory. I can't help but imagine. And I saw an elephant drink and then spurt.
That's so fresh in my memory, I can't
help but think of all the snot.
I'm wondering the flavor profile.
Well, no, we're doing Flintstones
rules, so there is no...
It's good for dishes.
It's good for my mouth, but if we are doing flavor,
we could raspberry up that
mammoth, I don't know.
We shove a bunch of strawberries up the mammoth's nose.
The mammoth gets sick.
Fruit-infused mammoth.
Fruit-infused mammoth.
I think your plan will work, but my problem with your plan is that I think you're not
the profit margin ain't going to be great.
I think it'll work.
I don't think you're going to make it.
I think there's a better animal.
What about like a pelican?
A pelican?
Small.
Pelican, pelican.
Beak can hold more than his belly can.
Yeah.
I'm aware of the pelican.
It's a famous rhyme.
Pelican scoops up water in his beak and he just waddles around you.
Yeah.
I guess to drink it.
You want to get a ladle?
Yeah.
You drink it out of the pelican's beak.
It's smaller, more compact.
Okay, how about this then?
We pivot, we pivot, we pivot.
How about...
I am just remembering a thing I just saw, which I'll get to in a second.
How about we instead...
Okay, yes, pelican, pelican can fit more.
In his belly can.
Baby buff.
Baby buff pelican.
Baby buff pelican. Baby bath pelican.
I need to wash my gross little bam bam.
Bam bam's gotten disgusting.
Oh, they're so gross.
But thankfully I have this beautiful pelican that I can dunk my child in and give it a beautiful bath.
Now, I did see the other day something which was basically about like, you know, when you go to work and you just like, you know, happen to try to eat your co-worker.
Which was a pelican at one of them kind of like, you know, you can meet the pelican thing.
And one of the zookeepers had to fish a duck.
And it was a big duck out of its gullet.
It wasn't quite its, it was swallowed.
I remember watching a laborious like seven minute video
of a pelican with like a seagull in its mouth.
And the seagull goes down, then comes back out, and the beak opens and the seag you're going to talk about. The pelican with a seagull in its mouth. Yes! And the seagull goes down
then comes back out and the beak
opens and the seagull's trying to get out.
The pelican closes its mouth again.
It's so awful. So that could happen to your baby.
That could happen to you, yes.
Well, this is presumably an employed pelican.
Yes.
Do you do a background check on the pelican?
I guess you have to, right? Yeah, a working with children
check. It's basically like doing a background check on the Pelican? I guess you have to, right? Yeah, a working with children check. It's basically like, yeah, it's doing a background check on your appliance.
I feel like there's good market branding there with the stork bringing the baby, the Pelican washing the baby.
The stork brings it, the Pelican washes it.
And you dry it on a horse.
He's wiping your baby on a horse.
Would that work?
How absorbent is a horse?
Well, I think even with Flintstones logic, I don't think that one would work.
What's the most absorbent animal?
Maybe a big woolly man.
Is a sheep absorbent?
Aren't they greasy?
Well, it's sheep ain't technology.
I think they're greasy.
I think they're a greasy beast.
You've got to pick an old animal.
You can't pick sheep.
I know.
I'm just using the word.
What would be a good absorbent animal?
Yeah.
But even in today's modern society.
Sharpay?
Sharpay.
That's absorbent.
Sharpay.
They kind of look like a cow.
You can wipe your hands on a dog.
And I have.
If you've got a dirty hand, there's no shame in wiping it on the dog.
The best thing for a wet hand is a clean dog.
The dog don't care.
And if he does care, what's he going to do about it?
Dog's getting a pat.
Yeah, exactly.
Sure, he's got a bit of schmutz on him now.
He'll be fine.
That's a treat for him when he's cleaning himself later.
Ooh, flavor.
Ooh, I taste nice.
Dog will like that.
You've handled a greasy'll like that. You've
handled a greasy burger.
You know what? You wipe your
hand on a dog, that dog is so
happy. What's the opposite of parasitic?
Whether you work in harmony?
It's symbiotic.
It's a symbiotic relationship.
Let me
pitch you a scenario. I put my baby
in the pelican bath. This pelican, even though they pass their checks
Dodgy
He starts waddling away with my baby in his mouth
What's my recourse?
Can I shoot that pelican in the head?
Well initially I'm like
Maybe the pelican is
Helping wash the baby
By swirling it around its mouth
That's not what's happening though
His scenario
I'm like oh oh, no.
Oh, no.
Let's see.
I guess you, well, what would be in the Flintstone world,
what happens when, say, your toaster goes rogue?
I don't know.
Who do you go to with that problem?
Who's making these?
It's kind of a new thing, the concept of an instrument we designed
to work for us is going rogue.
It's a very new concept.
Once again, I'm mowing my lawn with my dinosaur.
Say you're an autonomous driving vehicle.
That's our closest equivalent.
Yeah, that's true.
Decides to kidnap your baby.
I put my baby in my Tesla.
Yeah.
Get clean.
I close the door.
I'm like, I'm going to go.
Okay, okay.
We're going to go to a nursery to drop off baby.
I'm going to go there.
I'm going to put baby in the back seat.
I buckle the baby in.
I close the door.
I'm about to go into the front of the seat.
And then, oh, no, the tassel's gone.
What do I do?
Shoot the tassel.
Shoot the tassel in the head.
Well, okay, what about.
What would they do?
What would the cops have to do in that situation?
Arrest the cop.
It depends.
How?
Who's at fault?
Who's admitting?
Who's admitting?
Okay.
It's a larger question
that is not on purpose
has not yet been answered.
Yeah, who's going to admit fault?
Yeah.
Okay, what about this?
We're in the Flintstones realm,
but let's take a little walk
to Jetson's town.
Okay.
Now imagine we've made
a robotic bath, okay?
You put your baby
in the robotic bath. Would you put your baby in the robotic bath.
Would you trust your baby in a robotic bath?
Of course, because I'm living in this world where we're already trusting so much.
They literally trust Rosie the Riveter or whatever her name is to look after kids.
They trusted Rosie to look after their kids.
Yeah, that's true.
Their boy Elroy, he's pretty much raised by Rosie.
That's sad.
You live in that society.
Daughter Judy?
Their daughter Judy.
Yeah, that's right.
Here's George Jetson.
His wife, we don't know.
It'll be Judy again.
Judy and Judy Jr.
They don't do that.
I don't know.
That's true.
People should know that.
That's true.
I'll give you Judy III.
Yeah, I agree. Society's sick, man. It is. It is. People should know that That's true I'll give you Judy the third Yeah yeah
I agree
Society's sick man
It is
It is horrible
So if I lived in the
Flintstones realm
Yeah
And yes
Surely by this point
Yes there would be
Animals that we have
For our appliances
That have gone rogue
But I think
Because like in our realm
Yeah
How we have domesticated
Certain animals I think in Flint, how we have domesticated certain animals,
I think in Flintstone realm, they have domesticated them to another degree.
Yeah, that's true.
To make them like, you know, again, because they can talk a little bit.
Yeah, they're a little bit alive.
It's a little bit alive.
It's a living.
Would it be good if your baby was cleaned by a cat's tongue?
Rough.
See, the problem is if we're going by Flintstones
technology, you can't have a house
cat. You've got to have a saber-toothed tiger.
That will strip the skin from
your baby. Unless you've got a Bam Bam
who's super humanly strong.
I think I could, once again,
pivot. But I can
pivot back to the first idea.
I'm getting whiplash.
Sure, I can have back to the first idea. I'm getting whiplash. Sure, I can have it.
I mean, you can have another pelican bath.
But honestly, a little pygmy mammoth for both the water bottle as well as a baby shower.
Oh, now that's a good idea.
I can clean your baby.
You know what I like the most about this?
It's true capitalism because they have a shower.
And what's the functional difference?
But I like it.
It's little.
Because you're tricking someone into buying something they already have.
It's a pygmy mammoth, right?
Yeah.
Kind of like a pygmy pig, which doesn't really exist.
Yeah, it's not real.
Yeah, yeah.
Sure.
This pygmy mammoth, it grows with your baby.
That's good.
You are truly creating upsetting products.
It's like the shower is part of the family.
Exactly.
As you're marketing, a shower that's part of a family.
Whoa.
So there you have it.
You have a little baby, a little pygmy mammoth.
You wash your baby. Very quickly. And then you kind of like, as the little baby, a little pygmy mammoth. You wash your baby.
Very quickly. And then you kind of like, as the baby grows, it's now a toddler.
Well, I've got a pygmy toddler mammoth.
Fingers crossed they grow at the same rate, I suppose.
I mean, there will be probably a point where the mammoth probably gets a bit bigger.
Elephant life, elephant is not too far away.
They don't forget.
A shower that won't forget.
That's good.
That remembers the settings.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I guess you don't have a hot shower in the Flintstones.
I mean, that's not unsurprising.
You just warm up.
Hot coals up the mammoth nose.
I don't know if it's coming out of the mammoth cold.
Yeah, the mammoth temperature.
I almost wish it would. The internal temperature of the mammoth cold. Yeah, it's coming. I almost wish it would.
The internal temperature of the mammoth is the water you're getting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, which is a problem for drinking, I guess.
What if, how about this?
All right, so we have a, like, we patent the mammoth has a really,
maybe not a coffee because then your shower is kind of maybe smelling like coffee.
But to get warmth, to get the trunk warm
so that the water comes out
and then we can, like leg warmers before
a trunk. Maybe the mammoth
is in like a spa outside.
Well, I mean, so the
it's only contained
within the trunk, right?
So you could, if he collects
water of any temperature and then
keeps his, dugs his in hot mud or something,
then when you're ready for a shower,
hot mud is great.
Tar?
Tar.
That's a mammoth in the tar.
That's Flintstone technology.
Yeah, baby.
That's Flint Tech.
How nutritious is tar?
No.
How nutritious?
It's got all the vitamin T you need.
Is mammoth milk.
Elephant milk.
I guess that's the closest.
I'm going to Google, can a human drink elephant milk?
I think it's like if you drink hippopotamus milk, that's real bad because it's so dense in calories.
I have to assume elephant milk would be very similar, right?
Right, right, right.
Because it's a...
Well, yeah, I'd only need one dose of milk.
Elephants do not produce milk that is suitable for human consumption.
Drinking elephant milk can be dangerous and is not recommended.
Additionally, obtaining elephant milk in a safe and ethical manner is virtually impossible
as it would require milking elephants, which is not a humane practice. Literally, obtaining elephant milk in a safe and ethical manner is virtually impossible,
as it would require milking elephants, which is not a humane practice.
That's so funny.
That's awesome.
But this elephant's part of a family.
That last part doesn't count.
Well, not because it's part of the family, but because it's employed.
The elephant knows that it's doing a job.
And does it say what happened?
Like, why is it dangerous?
I'll quickly check.
Apart from the, I guess, you know from the collecting. You might get stamped.
Apart from the collecting.
What about it? Is the milk itself
harmful?
A sip of this is like,
that's your daily intake.
That's your weekly intake.
I get it. That mammoth milk
or elephant milk that is, yes,
there to design to get a baby mammoth to be a fully grown mammoth.
But like a cow, that milk is a little calf to the size of a cow.
Yeah.
Is it the kind of you drink the mammoth milk,
it's got so much calcium your bones fuse?
It doesn't say specifically why we can't drink elephant milk,
but apparently, I mean, maybe this could once again be fixed by it's an employed elephant.
But elephant milk apparently contains a little bit of alcohol.
What?
Drunk baby.
Why do they get boozy milk?
Well, elephants do booze up.
Oh, okay.
Elephant juice.
That's a great. No, no, no. Well, elephants do booze up. Oh, okay. Elephant juice. Yeah.
Elephant juice.
The delicious, delicious cure or drink.
It is apparently slightly alcoholic.
Okay.
They don't say how much, though.
Bro, that's awesome.
What I'm hearing is that we are underfunded in elephant milk studies.
I think maybe instead of making elephant milk for kids,
we're making fun juice for adults.
Oh.
You know what I mean? Bro, imagine. You're in the shower. You're making fun juice for adults. You know what I mean?
Bro, imagine you're in the shower.
You're having a great time.
You milk the elephant.
You know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm having a shower. Do I have to be here for this? I'm milking the elephant.
You milk the elephant. I'm having a shower.
You're sucking it down.
Why does this have to be at the same time?
You're getting a shower
and you're sucking down on the elephant
Why can't we just bottle that?
That's what the elephant is
It's ethical
You're in the shower
Imagine with me
And there's a little device
You've already done this
You're doing it again
And a beer pops out
Can I ask where do you think the elephant
What are you milking here?
I'm imagining the elephant is on its little...
Yeah, like this.
It's on its hind legs like this.
Flat feet against the wall of my house.
Trunk through.
Two beautiful holes where the elephant titties come through.
Exactly.
So one here, one here.
Two beautiful holes.
And you're milking the elephant.
Well, this isn't what you were doing.
Which, as bad as this is, this is kind of worse.
I just had to think about where the elephant's tits were.
Yeah, you had to figure it out.
Yeah, just drink the elephant milk.
You're drinking that milk getting showered on.
It's awesome to be drunk in the shower
and to be drunk off delicious elephant milk.
I don't see the problem.
Exactly.
So, again, it's a little Pygmy mammoth
That you know
It's there
From you know
Basically birth to death
It's there to kind of
You know
Make sure that your child
Is clean
And then when they turn
18 in Australia
Or 21 in America
Well now you can enjoy
Delicious elephant treats
Beautiful
Drink your best friend
Elephant lifespan
Live with the mammoth Die with best friend. Elephant lifespan. Live with the mammoth, die with the mammoth.
Elephant lifespan is for African bush elephants, 60 to 70 years.
That's good.
That's perfect.
I think you're in.
I think we're good.
I think you're good.
That's a good choice.
A shower, that's your best friend.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm sold.
I'm buying one.
That was like three, four pitches, maybe.
Here's what I mean.
There's no reason.
Like, as in you buy one.
Yeah.
It doesn't break down.
Well, you just do that, what do they call it?
Where they...
You put in design flaws.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Poachers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Somebody kills the mammoth for a tie-free.
You say, sorry, that's not covered by our insurance.
You gotta buy another one.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I think there's ways around it.
Well, what are you making, Adam?
How are you making it rich?
On the topic of Zamet's capitalist nightmare escape,
I was thinking, you know what?
The world of the Flintstones, they have equivalents for cars,
they have equivalents for, as we've discussed, home appliances,
they have equivalents for all sorts of things.
But you know what we don't see,
but that is a huge money-making investment opportunity?
The military-industrial complex.
You're right.
We have to protect from the others.
Fair enough.
I feel like...
Yeah.
Now, we do see...
I don't know what we're considering canon and not canon.
Sure.
We do see the lovely Kyle MacLachlan in the Flintstones movie wielding a gun.
Equivalent.
What's the gun made of?
So it's made out of stone.
It's a slingshot, basically.
And it has, I believe from memory, it has four shots in it, which are little pebbles that it fires.
I think we can improve on this.
I think so.
We can.
We have small arms, little pistols, I assume maybe rifles and stuff like that,
though we never, as far as I'm aware,
we never see in any of the depictions them have a rifle,
but I think that's a safe assumption.
What we definitely don't see and what I think we could do is we could start arming the elephants.
We could have mechanized, motorized, armored elephants.
Interesting.
We could have, what's the long neck guy?
Diplodocons?
Diplomacists?
Brontosaurus?
Brontosaurus.
Diplodocus, I think.
One of them was not true.
The gentle giant to defend your home.
Nice.
Can you describe one being?
Put a couple cannons either side of that guy.
Okay.
See, I was imagining you get a little pistol, right?
Yeah.
And then we get like a woodpecker.
Oh.
You know, the hammer there to kind of like fire the barrel.
But that's like, you know, good for.
That's like a Behringer.
Yeah.
That's a home defense.
That's a home defense.
One good shot.
I'm currently.
What I am imagining.
I'm going bigger than home defense.
Okay.
I am going.
We are conquering another nation.
That's where the big bucks are.
Then we can make civilian versions of arms.
You're going full arms deal.
I love the military version, then we make the civilian version.
You are speaking to my childhood.
We are making dino riders.
Are you best believers in making dino riders?
Can you describe to me, I've got my brontosaurus.
But I want, hey, I have a brontosaurus, but he has no weapons on him.
What am I to do?
First things first, we've got to, so I'm considering the Brontosaurus to be the chassis that we shall build.
This is my rock that I will build.
On this Diplodocus, we will build this war.
First thing we've got to do, we've got to put like a horse-like saddle on it.
Done.
So we've got saddlebags.
That's where your ammunition and whatnot's going.
Give him a little helmet because that's good and also kind of cute.
That's cute stuff.
That already exists in like, you know, the working environment.
Yeah, exactly.
They've got the little thing where you, the cabin where you are.
I think they might have hard hats.
And yeah, saddle's easy, easy, easy done.
Easy done.
All right.
We're making, we're making we're
putting two cat the diplodocus yeah put two cannons on either side of that guy okay then we can have a
little mounted platform on the top where guys can shoot from the top okay that's your that's your
heavy fighting vehicle that's almost your artillery okay fantastic what are the cannons made yeah out
of we can you can make How are we making these cannons?
You can make, ideally, I think I'd want to go wood.
Okay.
You can make cannons out of wood.
They're not particularly sturdy, but it has been done.
And we must remember that our enemies will have nothing.
Yes.
We will be launching artillery at them.
They will be dying.
Yeah.
It will be a Neanderthal holding a spear being like, oh, my God.
Okay.
Okay.
So, yeah.
How is this like using Flintstone design technology?
Is it firing those spears?
Well, I'm imagining all we need is a little bit of gunpowder, a big wok.
Okay.
We're mixing sulfur.
We're mixing sulfur. We're mixing magnesium.
I like that theoretically you could just make like a regular cannon.
Well, how am I moving it?
Well, that's true.
That's true.
That's true.
The huge bonus we have is that we can build big
because it's not a guy carrying it.
It's a goddamn dinosaur.
One problem with the dinosaur situation is say our
enemies gain access to the
same technology. Now if you shoot a dinosaur
in the head, you shoot a tank
in the barrel, it's probably gonna be fine.
You shoot a dinosaur in the eye,
that whole tank, dino tank
is collapsed.
Another question I also have,
with the barrels, sorry, the cannons.
Recoil.
Yeah.
Break the dinosaur's legs.
It seems a lot.
Yeah.
We just don't need to build it that big.
Okay, okay, okay.
The trick is, here's the trick.
All right, so you're imagining I'm making the biggest thing possible,
and you're imagining, like, the worst-case scenario,
getting shot in the head or whatever.
I don't need to make the super weapon.
I just need to make the best weapon.
You get what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm with it.
I'm across it.
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
I'm just thinking like-
We've got lighter dinosaurs.
We can do just the pterodactyls
don't even need to be heavily armed.
We just need a drop crap on our enemy.
It doesn't even have to be explosive. It just has to be
a rock. A pterodactyl with a rock is
the end of a lot of lives.
A pterodactyl with a rock is basically
like, that's superior air force.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess
the technology you're inventing, I guess, is
just military tech.
Oh, yeah. Well, I'm playing to my
strength. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's less about the actual technology in terms of a device.
It's more about knowledge.
Yeah, pretty much.
Hey, you know what?
This rock, when it falls on you from, like, say, a height, it hurts.
Oh, it hurts.
Now, let me know about pterodactyls.
If they fly real high.
He truly is a paleolithic sonzu.
It's a kinetic delivery device.
That's what I'm going to call it.
A KDD.
I really like as well because also you could just be like,
pterodactyls, kill this man.
They've got to get close.
That's when the spears could hurt them.
Oh, that's true.
That's true.
They could be stomping boys, but I guess you're right.
We're just building a bit better.
That's all we need to do.
A bit better than our enemy.
Could this simply just be then to really like pare it back is, yeah,
they have spears and like, you know, sticks with a bit of like,
you know, sharp flint.
Sure.
If we're on the back of, say, a Brontosaurus on a platform
and we just have those same things and we just threw them.
Yeah.
We threw what, sorry? Our spears. Yeah and we just threw them. Yeah. We threw what, sorry?
A house build.
Yeah.
But from high up.
The big cannons I'm imagining is like a ranged thing
and then when we get closer, we've got the advantage.
Okay.
But the brontosaurus is up the back
because it's got the, of the cannons,
it'll probably have the biggest
because it can handle the most.
But then you could have like a triceratops
with something a little bit lighter
because they're a bit zippier.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could you just, with something as simple
as the pincer movement,
could you just reign supreme?
Absolutely. You could revolutionize military
warfare. Obviously, I'd have
the advantage of decades
of military talent that I
have been able to benefit from. How much of the Flintstones
ever, do murders happen?
Well, they will now.
Well they will now
but like prior to that,
is this a Cain and Abel situation?
Is this like going back
and being like,
hey this is a really sick thing
you can do called
taking the life
of another human being.
Like watching Cain and Abel
have the whole
Cain and Abel situation
and I'm going up to Cain
and I'm like,
bro I'd be pissed off
if he did that.
Well in,
once again,
don't know what doesn't count as canon.
But when,
what's his name?
The Cyclops from...
John Goodman.
John Goodman, thank you.
When John Goodman
and Kyle MacLachlan,
when John Goodman
is to be shot
by Kyle MacLachlan
at the climax of that movie,
John Goodman's not like,
but what are you going to do?
Where will I go?
What is this?
How would you explain to Cain?
Yeah.
Okay.
Obviously, Adam and Eve have left the Garden of Eden.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you were there too.
I'm here, yeah, yeah.
Okay, and they've had two kids, Cain and Abel.
Hi, I'm also Adam.
Careful from the other guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
God named two people Adam.
Hey, nice to meet you.
Hey, I'm Adam.
Yeah, I'm Cain.
You're like, what, you're Adam's kid?
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Who are you?
That's crazy.
Wow.
You're not gonna believe it.
I am Adam, but not-
No, no.
You're just the same name.
There can't be two people with the same name.
That's literally never happened before.
At that point, you'd be like,
you're the odd one out,
because we're all called Adam.
Should I be Adam?
You could be if you wanted to. But you've watched Cain and Abel.
You've watched the Cain and Abel situation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where God has said to Cain and Abel,
bring me gifts.
Don't bring me meat.
And then Abel has brought him meat,
and Cain's brought him veggies,
and God's like,
I like the meat. Isn't it the other way around? No, because Cain's brought him veggies and God's like I like the meat
No, cuz any Cain does the first murder. Yes, okay?
Yeah, cuz he's pissed off cuz God said he didn't want me but then he got me from Abel
And then Cain kills and but Cain's thinking about like what the fuck do I do now?
What do you mean? How are you going up to Cain and being like how are you explaining murder?
Well, you know how um your, you know how he got meat.
Fuck that guy, dude.
Yeah, I know, but you know how he got meat and God loved that.
I'm so pissed about that because God said, I don't want meat.
I know, but he clearly wants meat, so you know what?
Yeah, I guess.
You know what your brother and, you know who he's made of?
What's that?
Meat.
What?
No.
Yeah, dude.
Are you encouraging cannibals?
We can eat people? Yeah, man. What do encouraging cannibals? Yeah, dude. We can eat people?
Yeah, man.
What do you want to do?
Do you want to know?
Well, at the moment, you can get a rock.
This is not the assigned task.
You can get a rock.
Uh-huh.
You can just like, because you know how he got that meat, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, he hit like an antelope or whatever.
Really quickly, other Adam.
You know there's like not a lot of other-
Wait, is Sam and Adam too?
Oh, I thought we were other Adam. You know there's not a lot of other- Wait, is Sam and Adam too? Oh, I thought we were all Adam.
You were also Adam because your name is Adam.
Never mind.
I thought I was a snake.
Oh, you're Satan in this scenario.
Never mind.
That nixes.
I was going to be like, hey, you know, you could be between us.
It's 50-50 chance he's going after you next.
If you encourage that.
So God wanted-
He said he didn't want me, but he clearly wanted me.
He clearly did.
And he loved meat from, say, like, whatever the, I don't know,
animal or whatever?
How much would he love the meat?
Yeah.
But I'm sort of pissed at God, but I might kill and eat my brother.
So, yeah.
Well, that's changed things somewhat.
I don't think anybody's expecting cannibalism that early.
Yeah, I guess, yeah, I was trying to get him to brain him and give him to God.
But also, you're right.
They do know about death because they can slaughter an animal.
It's just a person can die too.
I guess it's murder, though.
That's not what they've conceived of.
Yeah, because animals were made.
God's like, hey, I made animals.
They're for you, humanity. But he doesn't. He's like, I made animals They're for you humanity
But he doesn't
He's like
I made
I made the two of you for me
Yeah yeah yeah
It's not really the same thing
So you're kind of going up to him
And being like
You know
Like you kill animals
You could kill your brother
Like you kill an animal
And it'd be like
One animal killing another animal
For a human
Yeah yeah yeah
It's not really
Like
That's
No rule is said
That you should be doing this
Like what you're doing With dinosaurs, getting a dinosaur to kill another.
Well, I don't believe in God, so I don't give a crap.
Whatever.
Dinosaurs can kill dinosaurs as far as I'm concerned, as long as I get that oil.
That's what you're in it for?
Yeah, fair enough.
What else?
That Pangea oil.
Oil's expensive, buddy.
Fair enough.
That's so funny.
What are you doing with it?
I just thought I'd get the straw.
It's also funny because oil, partially, is from the dinosaurs.
Do they use, I feel like I've seen them use, I mean, honestly, I'll take any resource that's
valuable.
But do they use oil in things?
I can't remember, but I feel like I have seen that.
What would they use it for?
I feel like that's a movie.
The cars are powered by feet.
I feel like that's a movie thing again.
Maybe it might be a movie thing.
Wait, holy crap.
Maybe that is a movie thing, and they're in the movie.
They're like, hey, Kyle MacLachlan's like, I've made the car, basically.
What?
I feel like.
They invent the car in the Flintstones.
But like the car car, not the foot car.
Not the foot car.
Yeah, yeah.
They're like, you know, we use our feet to get everywhere and it fucking sucks.
Yeah.
Well, I figured it out.
How do they turn?
I forgot that movie had a sequel.
I mean, it's all about wheels, right?
I mean, they've got one big wheel in the back.
And they have a big wheel in the front, too.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess it's, if there is, yeah, I guess there is a.
Well, maybe it's the front ones on a, it's kind of like a gradual.
Big turning circle, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're the steering wheel.
Yeah, yeah. Why don't they just ride dinosaurs? I guess the car's cooler. big turning circle yeah they're the steering wheel yeah yeah
why don't they just
ride dinosaurs
I guess the car's cooler
ah
yeah
it's like he's
um
at work
yeah
that is a big
deporticus or whatever
do they invent the car
I just
I just saw
he invents concrete
oh
that's far less fun
yeah
alright well I guess
yes you could could bring the...
But is there oil?
Military concrete.
There's got to be oil.
No, but doesn't oil come from the decomposed remains of all these animals?
But isn't tar also like an oil?
I don't know what tar is.
What is tar?
What is tar?
The dinosaurs...
Also, again, it's Flintstone logic.
And so, again, we will.
I wish I had those infinite engineers somewhere.
I know.
You made fun of me, but wouldn't they be useful right now?
To have infinite engineers and infinite money or whatever.
Yeah.
Arrive at the past with infinite money.
Now, how am I going to make money?
I stop and I count my blessings.
Is it clams?
Do they use clams as money?
I think so.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Here's what I was thinking I could invent.
Deep sea.
I could just hop.
Anyway, go on.
No, what were you going to say?
I know where clams come from.
You pivoting, dude?
I can just get clams.
I just make a boat or whatever.
Who knows?
Whatever.
I think they also know where clams are.
How else are they getting clams?
Then why is it money?
Because I guess.
There's a finite amount of clams.
I guess.
I guess you could.
Can you breed clams?
Surely.
They're on the clam standard, dude.
Like if you could, I don't know, okay.
What if I could switch them over to some other standard?
Like what?
Gold.
When you say that, you said it with the voice of an 1800s prospector.
Gold!
Gold!
Who possessed you?
Old man McGillicuddy came out of a mine, possessed your body just then.
Instead of going for the gold standard, what you could do is,
what you can do is be like, right, I'm going to invent basically passive income.
Oh, okay.
Which is not even, no flutes don't stick whatsoever.
I love it.
Using otters. Oh, yeah, it. But he's using otters.
Oh, yeah, true.
They eat clams.
You set the otters up.
The otters only want the clams to eat what's inside.
It was just clam meat.
That's of no value to you.
Oh, I see what you're doing.
They pile up the clam shells, which you take.
Why are they working for you?
Because they want the delicious clam meat.
Well, no one else is thinking of that.
That's a bit of a circle there, ain't it?
So you've got the clams.
Yeah.
And then the orders eat the clam meat so that you have the clams.
So that you have the clams.
No, shut up.
Shut up.
Shut up, Adam.
You find a ripple.
Abundance in clams.
But you do not know how to get all these clams
How the hell do I get them?
Do you know what?
If I was like
But why are the otters giving you
Because otters get clams anyway
Otters eat clams
And they go
What do they do with the shells?
Grooming themselves?
No
I'm going to be like
Here's a pebble
Give me that goddamn shell
My head hurts
And they love that little rock
They put it in their pocket
And they're like
Yeah
I got shells
I don't know why they're doing this.
Because otters get...
Otters love clams.
What do you mean?
Otters are in the sea.
Okay.
Sea otters.
I'm dizzy.
I am so dizzy.
All rivers.
Okay.
You look out at a river.
All right, all right, all right.
So the otter...
Forget the otter at first.
Okay.
You're looking at a river.
Right.
You don't know where the clams are.
Because they're underwater or they're in the holes.
Yeah.
You're like, I don't know how I'm going to get these clams because they're here.
Yeah.
But how am I to find them?
Yeah.
You go get a bunch of otters.
You let the otters loose into the river.
The otters do all the work.
Yes.
Yes.
Passive income.
P-A-S-S-I-V-E, brother.
And then the otters bring you the clams,
because you're not getting them.
This idiot is here working eight hours a week.
I'm becoming a landlord.
We got that four-hour work.
The real estate market's great.
Everyone's living in rocks.
I can just hollow out a rock.
Is that a house?
And also, if anybody needs a repair on their elephant,
you're like, that's nothing I can do.
You're elephant sick.
I got stabbing pain here.
That's the plumbing that I've saw.
That's what it feels like.
We've grown up to it over the years.
If you don't leave this episode with stabbing pain
in the base of your neck, then really have you listen.
Here's what I was thinking of doing.
I was thinking,
what's one thing they don't have?
Because they've got guns.
Yeah.
And they have a shower,
but they don't have the internet.
And then I was like,
how am I going to get the internet?
And then I was thinking ants.
So they have a rock,
a flat rock, okay?
Okay, you have a flat rock.
You also have ants.
Ant colonies can spread for miles,
and they're all kind of connected.
They are kind of connected.
I want to be on your side so bad.
The ants form the picture on the screen, okay?
And they're sending through chemicals and scents,
they're sending it through the colony
from Barney's house.
The ants are saying,
hey, Barney's saying hello.
Hey, Barney's saying hello. It goes all the from Barney's house. Ants are saying, hey, Barney's saying hello. Hey, Barney's saying hello.
Goes all the way to Fred's house.
It's really spreading at the speed of ant, right?
Yeah.
It's not going to be great, dude.
Dial-up was not great, Adam.
Yeah, but dial-up was faster than me going over to your house
and being like, hey, imagine a naked lady.
Yeah.
Let me draw a naked lady for you.
Imagine I live in Times Square.
It's Flintstone time.
I don't own a car.
It's so far to travel.
Exactly.
Okay.
But the ant colonies, they spread for miles and miles.
I have the answer on the screen to make me a square.
I need to be like Barney.
I can't think of a naked lady.
Can you make me think of a naked lady?
Okey dokey, farts.
Yeah, I wait a bit.
I wait a bit.
I just don't think the ants are moving faster than a guy is.
No, but okay, sure.
Maybe for, but you got your ants.
Right.
You're like, well, I'm going to go on the ants.
You look at your tab of ants.
You say, make me a naked woman, ants.
And then you go to work. You come back. You say, make me a naked woman, ants. And then you go to work,
you come back,
you go on holiday,
and eventually
you come and look at your screen
and the ants have formed
a beautiful,
voluptuous,
sexy lady.
No, no, no.
You're selling me on it.
You're selling me on it.
You're selling me on it.
Once again,
there are certain parts
in the world we currently live in
that, yes,
a carrier pigeon
is actually faster
than the internet.
Sure.
I do have a question.
I do have a question. I'm sorry. You're selling me internet. Sure. I do have a question. I do have a question.
I'm sorry.
You're selling me on it.
I do still have a question.
It's a nagging one.
If Flintstones like tech and you're using ants like they might use a mammoth to have a shower,
are you paying the ants in crumbs?
Also, it's less about, again, show me a naked lady ant. That's the
ant doing it.
And I guess they're getting it from somewhere.
But ants aren't the best at
mimicking. Well, no, I'll tell you what would happen.
So in pornography...
For instance, technology, I'm actually fine with the
ants being like, here's an ant
naked woman. Oh, is it a naked ant
woman?
Well, it just looks like an ant.
I'm assuming that...
I hate this internet.
I'm assuming...
I'm getting his ant porn.
I'm assuming you got...
God damn it.
You got Barney Rubble in his house or whatever,
and he's arranging the ants to make it look like a naked...
Why is Barney making porn for frat?
Because I don't know any other fucking names!
I have to imagine
somewhere there exists
a paleolithic
a paleolithic
pornography studio
where somebody has
a model made out of stone
of a beautiful naked woman
being penetrated
by a beautiful naked man.
They put that down
and the ants make an outline.
Then the ants
they've got the chemical outline
of that shape. So they send it to the ants the ants, they've got the chemical outline of that shape.
So they send it to the ants.
The ants send it through the colony, which can span kilometers.
Sure, yes.
It spans the entire city of Bad Rock.
And the ants, by ant, it is going at the speed of ant,
but it arrives on Fred's screen.
I guess, yes, because you can get that, like,
whatever the scent of an ant is.
Yes.
I know that smell.
I know it well.
Because there's people that were like,
oh, they eat it all heads down.
We found out they communicate.
Someone was like, I'm going to get that chemical.
I'm going to write my name and the ants trace it.
Exactly.
So I guess what you're doing is, yeah,
it's less about the, yes, it's using speed of ants
and somehow getting that chemical to then replicate
another place where you've used that chemical
to design the beautiful naked lady getting penetrated
by the beautiful naked man.
I don't know if you need the chemical even,
because if we're, once again, if we're assuming Flintstones tech,
I think the answer, it's a living, all together.
You're a friend or whoever.
It's just like even just placing the ants to make furry porn or whatever.
And then we are just assuming porn.
We're always – anyway.
And then the ants – you know what?
I'm selling – I'm more and more being sold on this.
And then what I'm thinking is because – so what you're doing is you're making an online porn studio or whatever you want to make, presumably porn,
and you're getting the answer.
People can pay you, however,
and then how you pay the answer, I reckon,
is like how I would separately pay for a Netflix subscription
and I would also pay for my internet bill.
It is on the individual household.
If they want the ant-ernet to sprinkle some crumbs, get the ants.
Exactly.
Or ants typically will have some kind of like ant hoard where they've taken all the seeds and crumbs and placed it in a place.
And if I'm there with the queen ant in the hub of this ant and I have that we just fill that hoard up
and I'm like
hey we're gonna take
ants
yo
we're gonna take care
of the grain
and the crumbs
you just do this for us
and then people can
send us crumbs
and stuff from
their house
send us loads of bread
I think
I don't like
the mixing
I think either
pick control
the internet
or pick
the decentralized
internet pick one or the other that would be the debate of the day obviously but I think either pick control the internet or pick the decentralized internet.
Pick one or the other.
That would be the debate of the day.
Well, yeah.
Obviously.
But I think you can communicate, too, if you get the ants to form a word on your screen.
Yeah.
Maybe you've got a stylus full of ant poison.
Not ant poison.
Once again, you're overcomplicating it.
The ants are willing participants.
The ants can communicate.
So you say, hey, ants, can you tell Fred
I'm impressed by his furry porn?
And then the ants,
why is it Bonnie?
Why is it Bonnie?
You made it Fred.
Of course Bonnie, as a compassionate
friend, would compliment
him on his furry pornography.
I don't actually care. I was just having a go
at you because you had a go at me.
I'm from the old, old garden, old business.
You refuse to get on the answer.
No, no, no, not just that.
I'm like an old, say, telecommunication company.
Sure.
Where I have, you know, carry a pigeon.
Yeah.
And that's how we deliver our pornography.
Right, right.
We have a beautiful person there with a lovely tablet.
They chisel it out and we give it to the pigeon.
I'm so glad you're picking, yeah, carry your
pigeons and chisel the stone.
I'm assuming it's
prehistoric-y kind of stuff, so
it's like a proto-pigeon.
Yeah, it'd be a big bird and I'm assuming you would
probably a pterodactyl, to be honest. Maybe a pterodactyl with a little
cap in the leg.
And it would show the pterodactyl to people engaged in sexual congress. The pterodactyl, to be honest. Maybe a pterodactyl with a little cap. And it would show the pterodactyl to people engaged in sexual congress.
The pterodactyl would then
etch out a picture of it,
deliver it to Fred Flintstone.
Exactly.
And Fred Flintstone is like,
great, I love this.
Now, the internet comes on.
And I'm like, sure,
you can get some interesting things,
but the problem here
is they're all going to be made out of ant.
So the visualization is just like a dot matrix as it was, pixelated little dots there by
ant.
I just think you're going to like, people aren't going to, it's all going to be not
as clear, not as crystal clear.
However.
Not as tablet clear.
Yes. I'm enjoying putting my hand as tablet clear. Yes, Adam.
I'm enjoying putting my hand on it.
Me too.
So, can I say, you looking at the internet and thinking,
this will never take off.
It'll never take off.
Has not gone historically well for people in your position.
This is what I'm thinking of as well.
I'm thinking.
Sure.
With Bird.
You could send away or tell your bird, hey, bird.
By giant prehistoric snail mail.
Yeah, exactly.
You could send away for a specific image.
But with the internet, get this.
Obviously, the ants can replicate a real picture, but the ants can show anything.
The ants can show anything your mind can imagine.
So can my pterodactyl who's chiseling it out.
I can be like, hey.
But I can't order weed through pterodactyl.
Yeah, exactly.
There's no silk.
Well, I guess you can, though, order weed.
I mean, you just have to know a guy.
Yeah, but with the ant-ternet, I can go on an ant forum.
I don't know, but with the ant-ternetnet, I can go on an ant forum. I don't know, but with the Ant-o-net, don't you know there's someone there?
It's like someone is overseeing the central.
That's the beauty of the decentralized.
They could be looking at it all.
I don't know.
That's why I like decentralized ants.
The Ant-o-net HQ.
We've got everybody's, yeah, we're monitoring everybody's usage of the Ant-o-net.
That's clearly not what I wanted.
everybody's usage of the internet.
That's clearly not what I wanted.
I'm for military industrial complex big government, but I am
anti-monitoring what I'm
doing online big government. Decentralize
the internet.
I'm going to make the dark web.
Is it spiders?
Actually, spiders
would have been... Spiders are bad.
I think you have a combination.
Spiders and silkworms
oh
I think if you could
like
you could order pants
yeah
then you would
invent it to Amazon
yeah
silkworms I'm seeing
is kind of like
a VR type thing
elaborate
well
the silkworm
or the spider
actually no
spider could also work
but I'm imagining
the silkworm
like how you put on
the VR goggles and you're like whoa I'm on a balance beam I'm imagining the silkworm, like how you put on the VR goggles and you're like,
whoa, I'm on a balance beam.
Oh, no.
But the silkworms are making it for me.
Oh, with perspective they're creating.
Another thing is you could probably play extremely rudimentary
and slow video games on Ant, which you can't do on Bird.
Can't do on Bird.
You can do with Web and Silkworm.
But you can imagine the Web platform, little ant Mario.
Yeah.
You have other ants and you're like, that's a bird you got you're holding.
It's plugged on top of your computer.
It's 11.
And you say to the ants, hey, make Mario go left.
And then extremely slowly you watch that chemical signal get sent up through into the Mario
and he goes left one space.
That would be revolutionary.
Absolutely.
But then you could get like a little controller.
Well, absolutely.
Yeah, you're pressing the arrow, it goes left.
And you go at the speed of ants, sure.
That's a bit of a lag.
Of course there's a bit of lag.
Because ants are slow.
Sure.
And the further away someone is, the slower the message will take to get to them.
Proximity.
The internet, our internet does work a little bit like that.
Yeah, that's true.
How slow is the slowest internet?
How fast do ants move?
But it's not ants moving.
It's ant passing a chemical down through the line.
Yeah.
So that could be pretty quick.
Yeah, it's going to turn around and do it, you know?
It's got to pivot.
You've got to Google how quick can an ant pivot on the spot.
Ants are pretty fucking quick.
Well, do they need to pivot?
Or can they kind of, you know, like if it's a chemical vomiting thing,
they just like look back and look.
Yeah, or we're imagining the ants nose to bum.
Yeah.
But they could be side to side.
So then all you've got to do is turn your head.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's basically a binary system of zeros and ones.
I think Ant-anet could be quicker than we're giving it credit for.
Yeah, look, you could definitely make at least an Ant-computer.
You could easily make an Ant-computer.
I think I've killed it.
How fast do ants communicate?
Well, how are you?
How long is a piece of string?
Who won?
Yeah, I don't know.
We're all about some pretty good ideas.
Adam invented murder.
I clearly didn't invent murder.
At such a scale.
I invented maybe mass murder.
Oh, yeah.
I guess your
invention is the greatest. Well, but
the internet will change the way we
communicate.
Could you have personal
internet? Have you advanced like on
your body? You could
load stuff onto
an iPad. You could have
a direct line between two
people, like two houses.
I think the moving thing makes it really difficult.
No, I think it's fine.
So say you want to read.
I wasn't saying it.
Oh, shout out.
I have so beautiful lips.
Say you want to watch a movie on your ant pad.
Okay.
Yes.
You.
I'm being shush.
You the night before. And the ants are doing this by animation effectively shush You the night before
You get the
And the ants are doing this
By animation effectively
Okay the night before
The night before you say
Ants
Run me Shrek 2
The ants do Shrek 2
Then in the morning
You say
Ants get on my ant pad
To be Shrek 2
And then
Throughout the day
I can go
Ants
Go Shrek 2
And they show me Shrek 2
On my ant pad Alright I This is different than What I was thinking You were saying Throughout the day, I can go, Ants, go Shrek 2. And they show me Shrek 2 on my Ampad.
All right.
This is different than what I was thinking you were saying,
and I'm not against that.
You're basically, I think when you're moving,
you're basically disconnected.
Yes.
Because you are, I think, moving, even at walking pace.
You're moving faster than ants at community games.
At the very least, that they can show things to you.
But you could preload something from the night before.
You could. Yes. And you could haveload something from the night before. You could.
And you could have a portable gaming console probably too.
Yes.
Ants can remember the rules to a game.
You could play chess with ants.
Easy.
Yeah, I guess if you look at it, each ant is its own little pixel.
It's about having to show itself or not show itself.
And now working in unison, there's a bit of a high point.
You could paint the ants.
Yeah.
Paint the ants to create full images.
You could have color ants.
I think we're blowing pterodactyl out of the water.
Zabit has egg on his face.
They are on ants.
I am still very pro the weird, awful capitalism ideas you had before.
Loving that.
I think, unfortunately, pterodactyl just ain't.
I think it's time has come and gone.
Yeah.
I think there will be a post that aged poorly that you can look at on Ant.
And it will be Xamarin saying bird is the future.
There is still going to be a market because people are still going to be like,
oh, how romantic.
He carved me a slate.
There's room for bird in this modern world.
There is.
But Ant has, by and and large pushed it to the margins
Because Carvin Slade
Harder than telling ant
That'll become a saying
Yeah I think so
Like an older person to be like
Yeah sure it's on your little ant screen
But like it's not
It's not tangible I can't feel it
Whereas like I can
Can you print from an ant screen? Of course
you can print from ant, Grandpa.
Fuck. Come on. Hey, hey.
Look it up on your little ant.
Go on.
Get your little ant machine out there.
Look it up on your little ant machine.
Hey, Grandpa, I'll look it up on my little ant machine
while you go get a bird
to tell you how Grandma's doing.
That's so funny as well, because both would take some time.
So you'd be like, I don't know, find me a picture of a dog.
And you'd be like, bird, find me a picture of a dog.
And then you'd just wait.
I would love so much the quotation, some Flintstones meme where they're like,
kids are always on their ants these days, and it's a bunch of old people,
like an old photo or whatever,
and they're all on slates on a subway.
Obviously, this would be a slate.
Of course.
Could you have something like,
yes, well, you have like, say,
Bird finding a picture of a dog.
Yeah.
But could you have, again,
a little bit of both?
Maybe we come back,
you have to evolve with technology.
Yeah, sure.
With the times.
Everyone has.
I may be making, I don't know, the Zoot or something.
Yeah.
But it's kind of like.
No one wants to make the Zoot.
I know.
Oh, boy.
So you've got your little ants or whatever.
And I'm like, no, this is a Microsoft phone.
It's going to be great.
Everyone gets their own little pecking bird.
And then it's just like, you know, bird.
I want a picture of a dog.
And he's like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
That's true.
You know, here's your carving.
And you're like, you know, yes, we need to buy refills of rock.
Exactly.
And you need to download new pictures into your bird.
Whereas ants are connected to the centralized ant.
Ant-net.
Ant-net.
Like, I don't know.
Maybe, look, hey, maybe having a funeral for ant,
like when you launched Bird,
wasn't the best idea for your little marketing scheme.
And I'm going to be like, well, I thought it was a good idea.
It is awesome to say that to pitch the zoo.
That was your aim there.
I like that the bird
is, it's
very funny to me that because
it's a prehistoric bird, we're assuming
prehistoric bird. It's big.
It's huge. It's gonna be big.
Ants compact, baby.
Ants compact.
Well, there you go, baby. Rich
bitches. I think, yeah,
if we went back in time, or we were living in Flintstones,
or we had infinite engineers, it was hard to say.
Yeah, I think all three of us would do exceptionally well.
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely.
We're captains of industry.
Of Dead Rock.
Yeah.
Well, on that note, I've been Jackson.
I've been Joe.
I've been Adam.
Adam, where can we find you?
You can find me running Dungeons and Dragons is for nerds,
or D&D is for nerds, as we prefer to say.
In fact, you can find me running Dungeons and Dragons.
The end.
Goodbye.
I am the Dungeon Master, and the two of you are the very often,
if not always, pretty much, guests.
That's true.
Guests.
We've been doing it like's true. You could also
find me on my other show.
Beyond the Map,
where sometimes
my delightful co-host Jackson
also runs
Horror Little Adventures.
It's fun. It's a rule. We have a good time.
Beyond the Map stuff is very serious.
The D&D stuff is often serious, but sometimes very silly.
And also we do a guest show, the Grey Hill, Further Adventures of the Grey Hill Free Company.
Yeah, that's true.
That's very fun.
I'm on that often too.
If you want to see a myriad of other silly people.
Am I a guest or co-host?
I would call you a...
That definitely.
Come on.
You're a guest.
Okay.
D&D is for nerds and Beyond the Map.
Yeah, sure.
Obviously, co-hosts, whatever.
But fucking Greyhill.
Come on, buddy.
Come on.
Be real.
I'm a guest.
I'll be real.
Be real.
I'll be real.
I'll be real.
So yes, you can find them on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you listen to.
Search for Greyhill Free Company, D&D is for nerds and Beyond the Map there.
Check them out
they're good
goodbye