Plumbing the Death Star - If You Could Pick a Fictional Team to Play a (Fictional) Sport Which One? (Feat. Matt Stewart)
Episode Date: September 17, 2017In which our heroes keep their eye on the ball, shoot for the basket, and aim for the goal as they ask if you could pick a fictional team to play a (fictional) sport who would you pick? With special g...uest Matt Stewart from Do Go on!Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for our Melb Fringe Shows or UK tour right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Already purchased tickets for Melbourne Fringe and want that sweet 25% off? Just email emma@escommunications.com.au and she’ll sort you out ASAP!Want to help fundraise in aid of PSC Support? Just head over to sanspantsradio.podkeep.com and give what you can for a brand new D&D adventure! And if you’re wanting to know more about PSC Support, you can head here; http://www.pscsupport.org.uk.Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for our UK tour right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: sanspantsradio@gmail.com Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Duscher: twitter.com/dusch13Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadZammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammitMatt: twitter.com/mattstew_art Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star,
where we ask the important questions like
if you could pick a fictional team to play a fictional
sport, which one?
Let's go!
Batter up!
We're taking the afternoon
off!
It's a beautiful day for a ball game,
for a ball game today.
The fans are out to get a ticket or two,
from Walla Walla, Washington to Kalamazoo.
It's a beautiful day for a...
Well, that changes some things.
I just learned then the sport has to be fictional.
Fictional?
That's a...
I fucked that up.
Okay.
No?
No, no, no.
We can roll with this.
Hold on.
Wait, no.
If I just add future soccer...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, alright.
Oh yeah, no, that's fine.
The Muppets.
Thunderdome.
Because the reason they'd be so good is they got no blood.
First off, welcome, Matt, again.
Oh, yeah.
Secondly, what's the Thunderdome?
It's in Mad Max.
You break it, you spin the...
No, it's in Mad Max.
If you do wrong, you fuck up against Sparta Town.
They put you in the Thunderdome where they strap you to straps
and then are attached to the roof of a big sort of net cage dome type thing.
And you take a weapon and you kind of like leap around with the straps,
kind of like a Jolly Jumper, you know, that you might put a baby in.
It's like one of them, but you have a chainsaw
and you bounce around inside the Thunderdome.
One man, no, two men enter, one man leaves.
You want to be the one man that leaves.
So in this case, it's two Muppets enter.
Yes.
One of them has to stay there?
Oh, man.
He has to live forever in Thunderdome?
Well, you're surely just collecting a whole bunch of losers there
or the winner gets to stay.
The winner stays.
Okay, wow.
Yeah, the losers.
What a prize, being in a new share house.
You get to stay.
In a dome.
Well, because I was assuming that the Muppet would be going up against some Mad Max Leather Daddy.
All right.
By which, you know, the Leather Daddy can wail on the Muppet.
Let's say Kermit.
Why not?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For ease.
And he can wail on Kermit as much as he likes.
Kermit will never bleed or die.
So.
Yeah, right.
So there's not... Is the puppeteer there?
Is it some guy with, like,
his hand just getting bloodied
and bruised? But the Muppet...
So,
does the Muppet just... Because Muppet's about
fighting as well. Oh, they'd be
waving their arms around. Yeah, well, so the man
loses because he accidentally
dies from blood loss.
That's a rope-a-dope.
It's a rope-a-dope.
The Muppets rope-a-dope the Leather Daddy.
Oh, okay.
Because, like, I feel a Leather Daddy could dish out a lot of pain or at least perceived pain to a Muppet.
Yes.
Muppets have felt.
They get hurt, but they don't die.
But also, like, if the-
Muppets have felt, but no feelings.
If the Leather Daddy just sat down and let, say, Kermit wail away at him,
nothing's going to happen, because that's just like felt tickling your face.
Unless, is there a hand in Kermit?
No.
But-
Got me there.
The leather daddy will eventually starve to death.
The leather daddy might have a sleep.
Thus, letting Kermit...
Wait, hang on. Can you eat the
Muppet? You could eat the felt,
I guess, if you wanted. So if you eat the Muppet,
and yes, there is construction
happening, let's all ignore it.
It's just, don't worry about it, there it is.
So if the Leather Daddy was to eat the Muppet,
he's just getting his tummy
full of felt, but then the Muppet's gone
and he can leave. Or he can stay, I guess. I suppose felt But then the Muppet's gone He can stay I guess
I suppose you can tear a Muppet apart
You could tear him up into little things
And swallow it
If it wasn't a fictional sport
We'd be fine
They'd just be boxing
Let's open it up to
Maybe non-fiction sports as well
Do you have another answer?
Boxing.
Because eventually somebody's got to give up
and the Muppet will have taken less damage than the boxer.
You know how box scoring and boxing works, yeah?
Not really.
Okay, so it's hits landed, not damage done.
MMA.
It's MMA now.
Yeah, unless Kermit can land a knockout blow.
I think him getting hit a lot.
It's a good skill.
Unless he ties him out, right?
Rope-a-dopes.
Yeah.
Did you get all your boxing knowledge from that episode of The Simpsons?
Which episode?
Where Homer becomes a boxer?
No, I've watched boxing.
Okay.
Just don't pay enough attention.
I've watched more MMA, I guess.
I guess if you've watched boxing and all of the fights have ended with a knockout,
you mightn't have known how the scoring works
because it doesn't go to scoring in that situation.
Well, I don't know.
Like if you watched the very big fight that happened recently
between Mayweather and McGregor.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, the scoring doesn't make a difference there
because one got TKO'd.
Yeah.
Well, then, you know, you've just got to hope
that Kermit the Frog or Miss Piggy,
who is very prone to a, you know,
knockout punch the...
Miss Piggy gets disqualified.
You can't karate chop in boxing.
That's true.
Well, then...
For some reason, I always think Miss Piggy
has like a crowbar she hits people with. Is that right? No. She karate chops people. That's what. Well then, for some reason I always think Miss Piggy has like a crowbar
she hits people with.
Is that right?
No.
She karate chops people.
That's what the hi-ya is.
You should change
the sport to karate.
There you go, Jack.
I was going to say
because I don't even think
you could get gloves on Kermit
so he's disqualified as well.
What if I change it to karate?
Like, is Miss Piggy
actually close?
Because like,
isn't a boxing glove
just a real life Muppet?
It's a Muppet fighting a muppet hang on can i change can i can i change it to a really good boxer just with muppets on his hand instead of boxing gloves that gives him
four times the punching as each muppet has four hands i mean two hands yeah that gives him
twice the punching yeah not four times well including his punching i'd put animal animal
would be a good muppet to put forward i reckon yeah for any of the brilliant options that i've
given the table animals ferocious how does like all the Muppets feel having, say,
a boxer's hand up their arse?
Just the same way they feel about having Frank Oz's hand up their arse
or Watson's face.
Dingus who made the Muppets.
What's his name?
Jim Henson.
Jim Henson.
Did an episode about him on Digon recently.
You know, obviously, as a...
Avid fan.
You were saying avid fan?
Is that what you said?
That's a word we threw out there.
How do you think Jim Hansen would feel about
having his Muppets used as boxing gloves?
I think he'd be cool with it.
I reckon that would, yeah, seize his dream.
Finally coming together.
He died with unfinished business.
This is why I did it all.
Right here.
Part of a boxing team.
No, let's just basic MMA, mixed martial arts, Kermit the Frog versus somebody who knows what they're doing.
You can't kill Kermit the Frog.
The MMA doesn't end with a murder.
Yeah, but eventually somebody's got to give up and it's not going to be Kermit.
Yeah, how does that end?
Is that like you tap out?
Yeah, I don't know how the scoring works in it though. Yeah, it would have to be. Yeah, it is. Because K Is that like you tap out? Yeah, it's... I don't know how the scoring works in it, though.
Yeah, it would have to be.
Yeah, it is.
But it's...
Because Kermit ain't tapping out.
You can fold that boy.
Yeah, you can pummel Kermit into the ground.
And if you tear off Kermit's arm, they're like,
Oi!
Disqualified.
I once saw an MMA fight where the guy popped a guy's arm out,
like dislocated it, and he was disqualified.
So the moment you tear off Kermit's arm...
Is a ring out in MMA loss?
Surely.
Yeah, I think so.
So if I picked up Kermit and threw him, I win.
I guess.
Kermit's just got to be quick.
Kermit's a real lanky, floppy frog man.
So I could probably grab him.
Especially in an MMA fucking pentagon
none of us are I would say fit
MMA fighting ready
but I reckon I could pick Kermit
there's no ring out because there's a big like
no that's what I mean but if I cleared the cage
surely that would hit Matthews
like if you picked up Kermit and just hurled him
into the crowd.
Yeah, presumably at that point they'd be like, what?
Well, Kermit did his win.
We can't say that's a win for Kermit.
In the Muppet world, do they not feel pain?
It doesn't seem like it.
They fear death.
No, they definitely do feel pain.
When?
It's just like a...
Anytime there is any physical conflict, why definitely do feel pain. When? It's just like a... Anytime there is any physical
conflict, why would they be scared of it?
And Gonzo, whenever he fucks up
a thing and shoots a cannon into a wall or whatever,
he's not like, lol, he's like, that hurt.
And he's not dead. And Beaker.
Beaker fucking
gets blowed up.
It's very afraid though Maybe Kermit comes out of it
Not super good
And he loses
So I don't know how this is a good choice
Do you know what's a better choice?
Josie and the Pussycats and synchronized swimming
Alright for anyone who hasn't seen
The Josie and the Pussycats film
It mostly focuses on being a great film, satire.
And synchronicity.
And mind control.
Okay.
So Josie and the Pussycats write music that gets mind control stuff put into them,
which rockets them up the charts.
Great songs, though.
I'd probably listen to them on my own free will anyway.
Yeah.
Synchronized swimming needs people to be in synchronization. josie and her pussycats in the pool just get them to listen to their own music
dance in sync they have to write a song that makes them dance in sync yeah but that's they well they
can do that because they're musicians yeah are they actual pussycats no they're people that wear
ears they wear ears yeah like wear ears. Yeah.
No, that's just their band name.
Like human ears?
Like how Band of Horses isn't a band of horses.
What?
This is confusing now.
Is Mumford and Son not a guy named Mumford and his boy?
Do you know what? I don't know.
Maybe.
His name is Mumford and his sons are his children.
Well, I guess Mumford and
Gary Mumford, yeah.
Yeah, I've seen a film. They're all
small children, I think.
Little Lion Men is just because
they're little, because they're babies.
And they're half a lion.
Yeah.
So Mumford and Son,
that was the band on the tip of your
mind.
You get your finger on the tip of your mind. Mumford and Son.
Get your finger on the pulse there.
I was like, what's the thing?
Yeah, Mumford and Son. That's what kids still love, yeah?
Kids love that music.
Yeah?
2008 was the last time Jackson heard a song.
I went deaf after that.
I was going to go with Guns N' Roses,
and that's even further.
No, but at least that's...
That's kind of culturally, know. Like it's like
Guns and Roses are a band that like people
know. But that's the talking gun
surrounded by some roses.
I'd listen to that. So but
Jersey and the Pussycats the mind
controlling element of their music
I've never seen the film. Yeah that's not
them. I want to hazard a guess say that's the villain?
Yeah that's Alan Cumming yeah. Sure is.
He's bald in that movie.
There's a twist. He turns out to be an albino
and he did this because he got bullied in school.
Okay. Anyway. Do you do spoiler alerts?
Because I reckon
you just got spoiled alerts.
You just
gave one of the better plugs I've
heard and I reckon people are like,
I'm going to check out this movie. He loves it.
I can't wait to see it.
Now I know
Alan Cummings' balk. Why bother?
Ruined the best part
of the film. I was so excited to find out
if he had hair.
It's not. One of the best parts of that film
I think is when Tara Reid gets threatened on a mirror
and that's great and she adds a love heart to one of the guys.
Yeah, it's good. It's a great film.
Tara Reid's in it. She's the drummer.
We're talking about
Mumford and Sons time?
No, no, before.
I think it was like 2003?
I think so.
2004?
Sick.
Because, yeah,
I have a younger sister.
Rachel Lee Cook?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, heartthrob.
That's close to your heart.
So are you suggesting
that Josie and the Pussycats
use the
mind control thing for good, not evil?
But they're not in control. Is it for good or is it just for sport?
Is it to win?
It's not to cheat at a sport.
Is that what you call good?
You know, I put the
Muppets in the ring, but I never claimed it was a
moral victory.
I never
presumed what I was doing was right, only effective.
Yeah, this feels like they're cheating.
And also, I don't think they're the ones using the mind control.
This has to be like the villains using the mind control.
Oh, fuck, I'm the villain of my own film.
Yeah.
You're like Josie and the Pussycats.
Music's dead.
You know what's in vogue right now?
Synchronized swimming.
You better do it to your own song.
In fact, write this song.
It's called I'm Good in brackets dancing.
Well, really, it could be any song.
Because they could just get any song and do their own mind control with it, yeah?
How does the mind control work?
It's just like there's a machine that adds layers of subliminal messaging to their songs.
So you would be like, this is the subliminal messaging to their songs.
So you would be like, this is the subliminal message.
You'd be like, hey, hey, everyone's dancing.
Oh, no.
It's the problem then, Dusha.
Because you do synchronize swimming in front of an audience.
There's a crowd.
Everyone's running in. So they're doing the dancing in the pool,
and then the audience or the crowd are doing the dancing in the leeches.
And the movements, the 3D up, down, left, right movements
that happen in the pool should not happen on land.
Yeah.
Or it's like, do a flip in the water.
It's just going to end up with a lot of broken spines.
It's going to be like, da-da-da.
They're going to flip over, and then there's going to be
like a resounding thwap as everybody's back's in the water.
I don't think they'll actually flip, though.
They'll be doing the swimming motions
That would make you flip
And if it is Josie and the Pussycat music
They're gonna release this to the wider public
So a lot of like teenage girls
Are like bopping around in their room
And then just gonna flip over and smack their head on their back
Think about this song being like
An unreleased gem demo
That they, it probably gets released In like a 10 year anniversary box set.
And that's what the issues start.
But while they're synchronizing,
then those teens are older.
And they're more prone to injury.
Whoa,
a new song.
Ah,
my spine.
I'm bending in places.
I am no longer as strong as I once was.
Oh,
film came out in 2001.
And Rosie O'Dawson is the bassist.
Fuck, I was panicking that I wasn't
going to find out.
It was real good because it's such a weird movie.
Oh man, I want to watch it now.
Again, I've seen it before.
It's a good film. I'm sure.
I have no doubt that it's great.
I just don't think that Synchronized Swimming
and Josie and the Pussycats, plus that's four people.
Max. Three in Josie and the Pussycats, plus that's four people, max.
Three in Josie and the Pussycats.
Yeah, well, there you go.
Dull.
Although that would probably just be called the Pussycats
if this takes place after the film.
Okay.
Because they get rebranded as Josie and the Pussycats
and it starts to tear them apart a bit
because they all write their songs together.
Yeah.
I don't think it's a very good swim team.
I mean, they're doing better than Muppet Box.
Not great. I mean, they're doing better than Muppet Box. Not great.
I cleared the very low bar
and got to talk about Josie and the Pussycats,
so that's a win for me.
Damage to the crowd.
Damage to the wider public.
Anybody who's loved Josie and the Pussycats now
has a broken spine.
I guess that includes me.
No, I'm the villain, so I guess.
You wouldn't listen to your own mind control.
Also, like...
What happens if you do? It doesn't work, I guess. Like, if I know that the sub. No, I'm the villain, so I guess. You wouldn't listen to your own mind control. Also, like... What happens if you do?
It doesn't work, I guess.
Like, if I know that the subliminal messages are there
and I listen to it, does it still work for me?
Well, I mean...
So then you've got to tell the audience
that there's subliminal messages and don't listen to it,
but you've got to keep Josie and the Pussycats in the dark.
Maybe, while Josie and the Pussycats are in the change room,
I'll blast a very loud siren
so everyone's ears are ringing and they can't hear it. And judges are like i give them i don't know because i have a ringing
the whole time i've got a blinding headache and then i synchronize this like the dancing with
the sound of tinnitus so it looks fucking sick to the audience the sound So you synchronize dancing to this sound.
What?
What could that possibly be?
A constant high-pitched tone.
You synchronize dance to that.
That's just bloody modern art, isn't it?
It's good.
It'll be good.
Wow.
You've failed this assignment.
No, I'm on board.
I like it a lot.
I'll just get a drummer or something to add a beat to it,
and that's music, baby.
So do they have a drummer?
Yeah, they've got a drummer.
I'd use them.
But she's in the water.
The drummer's the bigger point.
And also the drummer.
Well, yeah, you can't have...
There's no waterproof drums.
Tara Reid playing drums in the water. It takes you such a long time to move. And also the drum. Well, yeah, you can't have, there's no waterproof drums. Tara Reid playing drums in the water.
It takes you such a long time to move the drumstick
to the water, they hit the actual drum.
All right, let's try this.
You do the drum beat and I'll do the tinnitus.
All right, you start with tinnitus.
The drums are coming a bit later.
Oh, actually, this is really easy
because it's like any song that has feedback.
I can put any drum beat to this.
Could you do it?
Okay.
I dig this sound.
That was music, just that.
You've turned me around.
And that was just like, not anything.
Still wouldn't be good watching, but...
It'd be great watching.
I don't know.
Synchronized swimming is exciting.
Apart from, you know, your ears have been blown out.
I'm not sure if I want to be there.
Watch it on TV.
I'll watch it on TV.
But then at home.
Watch it on TV.
You're going to break your spine.
This is real good.
As you dance around your living room and then do a flip and your foot goes through.
All of this pain just so they don't have to learn how to swim in the same rhythm?
You could have just been like, oh, they just do synchronized dancing
and they're such a good team that they just, you know.
But Simon Seen Jersey and the Pussycats, he'd call me up.
They're just like a garage rock band.
They don't know how to dance.
It kind of does make sense.
You are a villain.
Yeah.
So it makes sense that you want to kind of yeah make everyone dance in
their home very convoluted also in this world people are at home watching synchronized swimming
live on their tv remember when that garage band just backed it all in and
i can't wait to watch it was just as good as I thought it was going to be.
Shame about my spine.
Well, I thought of one, which was Lightning McQueen and Sumo Wrestling.
Because I think wrestling a car is an easy win.
Wow.
Oh, I don't know.
The Sumo ring is very small.
Well, you'd make it bigger for the car.
No, we're not altering the rules so that was one
idea kermit the frogs ring out it's a new rule just because like the judge would have to be like
well like yeah the judge can't be like well kermit wins you just can't yeah yeah okay
as he wouldn't make you so i reckon a sumo wrestler would be able to
probably wouldn't beat a car v car or a car car v. car or car v. sumo wrestler?
Because if it's car v. sumo wrestler, I've got to say the car wins. Straight up. There's just no context.
A car can run down a sumo wrestler.
Very easily. No, but how strong is a sumo wrestler
and can it stand its ground? Not as strong as a car.
No, if a car's like... Yeah, no.
No. Think before you speak.
Think about it, dude. Come on, just have a quick think.
I could beat a car in a sumo wrestling fight. Easy.
How? Okay, you're a driver of the car
I just need to push the car for a bit
And you're like alright
I'm just gonna run this man over
I just move out of the way
You drive out of the ring
You lose
You think you're quicker than a car?
No
I'm
A car called lightning
Okay
I don't need to be
A sentient car
I don't need to be
Who doesn't actually go by those rules
Because they have basically hands
And they can move and shit.
So you're pushing the front of a car, right?
No, I'm not.
Okay, here's the trick.
I know that I can't push a fucking car out of a circle.
So where are you standing?
So you're immediately run over.
Where are you standing?
In front of the car, hands on the bonnet.
The car accelerates and you're like, fucking gotcha.
You leap out the way somehow faster than a car.
Well, not even.
I just need to just move.
Somehow faster than a car.
No, okay.
So we're both in stop positions.
Yes.
I'll get hit by a car and it's going to suck, but I'm not going to die.
But the car needs to stop and adjust its position to get me.
It's a little three-point turn a bit.
In a circle. The sumo wrestlers.
It's going to ring out.
I'm going to win.
How many sumo wrestlers do you reckon would get run over by a car
just to win a wrestling match?
Well, you got at least one.
Joel Dusha.
Also, you're kind of going to the idea that when you dodge,
the car won't stop with a wheel on you.
Yeah, that's true. Well, okay. a wheel on you. Yeah, that's true.
Well, okay, even...
Because the car's a guy.
That's true.
Yeah, forgetting that it's not just driven by, say, a lad.
It's an actual lad itself.
Imagine staring into Lightning McQueen's giant white eyes
and you know that he'll happily kill you.
Yeah.
Well, I guess...
First of all, he's basically just parked in the circle.
You've got to kind of squish around it.
You go to the side, he just smacks you with his door.
You're fucked, mate.
Stand on the roof of the car.
Well, that's not the worst move in the world.
Then he just rolls over.
I haven't seen cars.
Is he likely to want to kill an innocent sportsman?
Lightning McQueen is a dark strike.
I feel like...
So he'd do anything to win.
And I feel like...
I'm like mocking him or something. I feel like Lightning McQueen's breaking point isn't that high. And I would be a anything to win. And I feel like I'm mocking him or something.
I feel like McQueen's breaking point isn't that high.
And I would be a dick to him.
What's life like being in a car, dickhead?
Is it bad?
You're bad at racing now because you're old, apparently.
I think that's the plot of Cars 3.
And now you've got a car on.
Now you've turned to sumo wrestling, I guess,
instead of being a car and doing what a car does.
That's embarrassing.
But I like your plan of get on the roof because all you've got to do is sit there and wait,
and eventually the car, just in turning while trying to get you, is bound to ring out, and you're just good.
Nah, because there's suspension, right?
Yeah.
So it'll kind of buck him off, and then he goes flying.
Oh, that's good for the audience, though.
Yeah, that's entertaining.
Yeah, the simmer wrestler slash rodeo.
Yeah.
Simmer wrestlers tend to be pretty heavy, though. I don't know if a car could buck him off. Yeah, but's entertaining. Yeah, the sumo wrestler slash rodeo. Sumo wrestlers tend to be pretty heavy
though. I don't know if a car could buck him off.
But a car's also heavy.
Yeah, but it's not about that. It's about how strong their car is.
It's a car. It's suspension though.
It's easy to fuck your suspension. Just drive into a
pothole and it's fucked.
Try to buck a fucking sumo wrestler
off you. I think if you get on the roof of a
car, you've beaten that car. But getting onto
the roof of the car is the hardest
it's also sentient
it's bonnet might smack you
just climbing on
exposing it's weak point
slap it's engine a bit
this is no longer sumo wrestling
sumo wrestling there's heaps of slapping
there is a lot of slapping
but not like the eyes
which is basically what's happening.
You're like suggesting you like sumo wrestling,
but then also if he's like big, I don't know,
he's like loincloth comes away and you punch him in the ball.
He's a weak spot.
I'd get a bit of a slap.
Not punching, slapping.
Slap is scrote.
Yeah.
And then I'd win because that sumo wrestler is like, oh, my God.
My ball's scrote.
And then you push him out of the thing same with the bonnet
that's basically the car scrotum
I wonder
like sumo wrestlers are pretty strong
is there anybody strong enough that can stop a car
no
are you sure though
I'm looking it up
because a car has a lot of power
behind it
Yeah but I have this idea
No you get the same thing as me
It's like when it's like
Like if someone's like parked
And then you like slam on the accelerator
The wheels spin for a bit
Yeah
But then there's gonna be a shoot of
Yeah
So I know like a lion for example
Like a lion can drag a car that's in park
And that's impressive
But this car can just run you over
I found a youtube video
called man stops car with best bare hands watch it and i reckon there's an obvious
this is this is great seconds and is this a champion race car
yeah probably v8 souped up i reckon there's a datsun 120b, this car isn't even... Oh, yeah, it is. It's going.
He's got it.
He's got it.
You can look at him.
Look.
All right, so he's lifted it up.
All right, so maybe... If you're strong enough,
I reckon you can start the car.
Front-wheel drive, yeah.
Is Lightning McQueen a four-wheel drive?
Because that makes it hard.
He's a racing car, so probably not.
Probably not.
Racing cars, what are they usually?
Rear wheel.
I think certainly the very limited knowledge I have
is Bathurst-style Australian supercar racing.
And for the most part there, I'm pretty sure rear wheel drive.
So if you get behind him.
And lift him up.
You got him.
Yeah.
But I don't think this detracts from Zammett's idea at all.
I think, if anything, it makes it better.
If the car just wins straight out, I'm bored.
Yeah.
But if it's like.
Well, I was thinking, like, I don't know.
I suggest this because there's no, like.
How long is this guy holding a car up as well?
Well, that's what's entertaining to watch.
You're like, how long can he hack?
Because if it's like, if it's a front-wheel, like, drive,
he's got to lift him up.
But then you've just got gonna drag him around yeah without being able to tip you
lightning mcqueen on your roof or your head yeah i think i think that's the only way a sumo wrestler
could imagine that sumo wrestler holding the car veins bulging going red lightning mcqueen's wheel
spinning smoke coming out and you're like yeah that's going to win this? Yeah, that's great. I'd watch that.
Hell out of that.
I don't know why nobody's making a sport that's just like people stopping cars.
This is a sport we could do, guys.
Man versus car.
It's true.
We could do it.
Is there...
So I always pictured them.
I've never seen the movies, but I pictured the cars being like toy cars.
These are actual...
No.
Are there humans in the world?
I don't want to go down this route.
It's basically like a post-apocalyptic world
where it looks like that people became cars.
They might also be
insects. There's a lot going on
with them. It's very unpleasant, but it's worth a watch.
Really? Okay.
It's just like the more you think about it,
the worse it gets. That's cars.
Yeah.
That sounds great. That's Carlos. Yeah. Wow.
That sounds great.
It's not great.
I really like it. I mean, you did bring it up.
Yeah, I know.
I regret everything about this.
Can I just suggest like the original X-Men team and soccer instead?
Yeah.
Because I think that'd be a bit better and less like an existential crisis.
And they're playing against like Brazil or something?
Brazil are good at soccer.
Everyone else has been against a human team,
so I think that's fair.
I reckon that'd be good.
You put Angel in the goal, the goalkeeper.
He's got giant wingspan.
Smack the balls around.
That's cheating, but that's fine.
Jean Grey is a striker.
Picks the ball up with her mind.
Boo! In.
Cheating, but again, that's fair.
A hundred percent, that's...
Yeah, that's a yellow.
Is she using her hands?
No. Yeah. He's got yellow. Is she using her hands? No.
Yeah.
It's got you there.
I think they'd have to modify the rules a little.
I feel like this is like any sort of sports film in the 90s with an animal
where someone's like, you can't have a chimp play baseball.
And they go, well, there's nothing in the rule book that says you can't.
Same concept.
She can't lift it up with her mind. Oh, can she? Oh, have's nothing in the rulebook that says you can't. Same concept. She can't lift it up with her mind.
Oh, can she?
Oh, have a look in the rulebook.
And then obviously you're like, well.
The following season, though, is where the rules,
like that one game that you spring it on them.
We dominate like that season.
I reckon FIFA have an emergency meeting that night.
I reckon FIFA have an emergency meeting
halfway through the game.
What a winger.
This is us.
Iceman as defense would be pretty good.
Also just putting up ice blocks.
See, I reckon that you might find that that actually
counts as like, because that would be
damaging the pitch.
I feel like that might actually be a rule that they're breaking.
But, I mean, you've got a psychic
on the team, so just cripple
everyone. Also, Beast is like a hairy man that can bounce around
and is pretty good at, like, athletics anyway.
And he's Frasier Crane.
And he's Frasier Crane?
Yeah.
I could tell him my problems.
He's listening.
He's listening, but he's also got a lot of problems of his own.
He's slow.
I like that it's, like, everyone else is, like,
oh, they're using their powers,
but Beast
he's just naturally athletic
he could just actually be a soccer player
say Scott Summers gets like a
soccer ball to the face and knocks his visor off
oh no that's everyone dead
and then you're definitely kicked out of FIFA
yeah FIFA not gonna knock that out
also if he gets a yellow card he's gonna think it's a red card
that's good though
then the problem sort of solves itself
like that no one
is there telling him
it's not
he's just like
no no no
I'm leaving
well I think
everybody
somebody's like
the ref's saying
yellow card
and he's like
yeah
you can break it
to me if you want
but I know
the truth
I can see that
that's red
and then Xavier
is the coach
Xavier is the coach
just shutting down
the minds of the
Brazilian players
that's what I was
imagining
or Xavier being like, play dirty.
Everybody lie down.
Run them over.
Scott, Scott, Scott.
All right, take this.
This is a shiv.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
When you get close, give him a little stab.
Wow, you've really changed his sort of temperament.
Temperament the right word there?
Yeah, yeah.
Talking about him like he's a dog.
I mean, he's not a great person.
Scott, Scott, Scott.
Come here.
Come here.
Look at these glasses. Take them off. Now look at the team. Yes, Yeah, yeah. Talking about him like he's a dog. I mean, he's not a great person. Scott, Scott, Scott, come here. Come here. Look at these glasses.
Yeah, we'll take them off.
Now look at the team.
Yes, yes, good.
We did it.
Another victory for the X-Men.
Against the villainous Brazil.
Score one for muted rights.
I guess.
That's all right.
Just angel, angel, put your wings out.
Good, good, good.
Just hammer them to the fucking post.
There we go.
All right, you've not been up to snuff.
You're going to have to inject this.
Steroids?
Yes.
Mutant steroids.
You can't get there unless you're juice, okay?
They're all doing it.
Everyone's juicing, okay?
You're not weird.
You're not going to get in trouble
Shut up
X-Men get disqualified
I bribe them all
Everyone's being bribed
You're fine
You just shut their minds
It's the same thing
Shut up
Less jabbing more jabbing
X-Men banned from FIFAa for a year coach sacked
fifa mad people suspicious that a man whose legs didn't work was coaching
x-men claim they didn't like heavy anyway x-men claim they didn't know any better everyone's like
why'd you let him do it it seems like it's kind of on you guys. I was going to say
something.
I like that, like,
going back to the,
there's nothing in the
rule book.
Does every coach have,
like, a big book of
soccer rules?
I feel like if I was
bringing a dog and
they're like, or
somebody brought a dog
to me and they're
like, there's nothing
in the rule book,
I'd be like, well,
I just can't check.
Actually, that's a
good point.
Like, everyone talks
about, like, a rule
book, but does sports have, like, a published rule book?
I don't think that's a rule book.
Yeah.
I know golf does.
I've seen that.
The rules of golf is in a book.
But I'm pretty sure most of them will have a website.
FIFA will have a rule page, I reckon.
What else are you teaching the umpires?
Surely they've got a book.
It's all secret.
Right?
I mean, we need to know the rules to play the game.
It's normally in like the teen movies and there's like an older kid for some reason.
It's like, surely you can't have a 28-year-old man playing on the team.
There's nothing in the rules.
There has to be a rule book because else you're like, hey, I scored a goal.
All right, I got it.
No, no, you just kicked goal. Alright, I got it. Nah, nah.
You just kicked the goal for the other team.
I just sort of have this assumption that all rules
are just kind of basically decided by committee
and like everybody's got a kind of good
understanding of how the sport works.
I just had a quick
look at Google just because I was like, I'll check
AFL because I'm familiar with AFL.
The AFL rule book is called the laws of the
game.
There's a committee.
Kevin Bartlett's on it.
So that means that if somebody tried to get a dog or the X-Men
involved in a sport, it would have to go through those
committees.
What a fun time that would be.
We have a mind reader and a mind control.
That's very easy to get through.
Very quickly, I think it's an all-mutant
committee.
I'm onant committee.
I'm on the committee.
I am the committee.
Let's change this to a fifth X.
I think the best example of the rule thing is Happy Gilmore when the balls on Jaws' foot, Jaws from Bond,
is standing on the side and Shooter McGavin's like,
well, I can't play this.
And they come in and go, play it as it lies.
That's what it says in the book.
Play it as it lies.
Yeah, play it as it lies, Shooter.
Very good moment.
Beautiful moment in cinema.
He's got a nail through his head still, yeah?
He sure does.
That's good.
What a great film.
I like that in the Air Bud situation, like realistically.
Can I change? Sorry, finish your bit.
Then I'm going to change my answer.
I was just going to say there's like a month maybe between the first time they try to get the dog in the game
and then when the dog actually gets in the, you know what I mean?
Right.
Like I wanted the dog play.
They're like, there's nothing in the rules, but I guess we'll chat to the committee.
Then they're like, well, let's hope.
Best answer, Adam Sandler Golf.
Adam Sandler Golf? Adam Sandler Golf?
Adam Sandler's fictional.
Do you mean the characters Adam Sandler has played?
Or sad Adam Sandler as he is today?
Well, I feel like sad Adam Sandler probably gets a lot of joy from golf.
But the fictional one would be happy Adam Sandler.
Well, you've got happy Gilmore, who's good at golf.
Well, bad at golf, but then good at golf.
Yeah, and then...
Bad at... Little Nicky, who is good at golf. Well, bad at golf, but then good at golf. Yeah, and then... Bad at...
Little Nicky, who is like a little Satan.
He's got a big variety of characters.
There'd be some characters who'd be bad at golf, like Glick.
Most of them, I imagine.
No, Glick, he'd just fast forward through training.
He'd be real good at it.
And he'd miss his daughter's birthday or some shit,
and his wife would divorce him and be sad.
He'd be real good at golf.
He'd fucking shits in David Hasselhoff's lunch or something? Yeah his wife would divorce him and be sad, but he'd be real good at golf. He'd fucking shits
in David Hasselhoff's lunch or something?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.
That's a sad movie.
He's a kid. No, no, Billy Madison.
He's got a lot of spare time, so I guess he could
train for golf.
He'd learn the rules of golf from
Veronica Vaughn. Yeah, that's right.
He'd get to see a titty if he
got a hole in one.
I feel like if you offered Billy Madison a titty
for a hole in one, he'd be getting hole in ones all day.
What kind of a relationship are they gonna have
in like ten years, you know?
Ten years down the track, Billy Madison
and like, it's just, it's due.
He inherited the company
at the end, didn't he? Or whatever it was.
He's gonna run them to the ground.
Yeah, he has a fucking high school education.
He learned a lot of life lessons along the way.
I hope you're on a business.
There's a song where he thanks Veronica
for beating the shit out of him.
That's not a good way to learn.
That movie is terrible.
Who's Adam Sandler in 50 First Dates?
He knows how to look after dolphins or some shit.
Yeah.
He's very kind and caring and...
Manipulative.
Manipulative and...
Of a woman with a mental illness.
Yep.
What about in Wedding Singers?
Like, that's not great.
I mean, I don't see how that Jerry girl is going to help him play golf.
Punch drunk love?
Hmm?
Huh.
Adam Sandler in Blended is just a bad dad.
But he likes sports, but not golf.
No, he likes baseball, which leads to the weirdest scene in that film where they have Dale Stain, South African cricketer, have a big cameo role where they just make fun of cricket.
Dale Stain was in an Adam Sandler movie.
Yeah, he's in a scene in Blended where he's bowling a cricket ball to Adam Sandler's kid who he's trying to tease baseball to,
and he keeps bouncing it because that's cricket.
And then Adam Sandler makes fun of Dale Stain
for not being able to pitch, and that's the scene.
What about Adam Sandler from Bulletproof,
where he's just a petty thug?
Jack and Jill?
Jack and or Jill.
Well, there's two of them.
That's a good...
Yeah, but golf's not one on how many players you have.
That's not the opposite of that.
Well, if you could play golf...
We're all out of Sandler and we're here to play golf.
They'd be like, one of you, one of you can play golf.
There's doubles and stuff in golf.
Okay.
Are there like quick doubles?
Two ball, best ball.
Yep.
That's a thing, I think.
I think he plays another Satan in Dirty Work from Norm Macdonald's film.
So, like, you've got two Satans on your team.
Surely Satan's good at golf.
Yeah.
Is he?
That seems more like an angel sport.
Also, I feel like he's going to cheat as a little Satan.
You made a bad choice.
It's about winning, though, right?
Cheating's fine.
Wait, hang on.
You've got your X-Men murdering the Brazilian soccer team. I never said it was a bad choice. It's about winning though, right? Cheating's fine. Wait, hang on. You've got your X-Men murdering the Brazilian soccer team.
I never said it was a moral victory.
Yeah, I'm playing golf.
They cheat.
Who cares?
You're all fucking cheating.
Yeah, but I have a guy that can mind control.
What do you have?
A Satan.
Satan can mind control.
He's got twice the amount of Satans of a regular man.
Everyone has their inner demons, but I have two outer demons.
Adam Sandler.
The two.
It would be an annoying game of golf to watch.
I'd be like, this is crowded by the same guy.
And everyone's yelling in like a little baby voice.
It's time for me to play some golf!
Rob is facing the titties of someone who be like ah titties and i'd be like this is what happened to golf is the majority
of adam sandler's characters motivated by a hint of titty oh yeah titty is the greatest
motivation but not nipple like just cleavage cleave but not not even like leading to sex
it's the idea that a woman will reveal her breasts to Adam Sandler
and that's like him done.
That's enough.
It's almost like his characters don't actually know
there's any other steps to lovemaking.
They're like titties and that's, we did it.
We did it, guys.
Thanks for playing.
I'm going to go home now.
Because he's a child, I guess.
Well, I mean, every character he plays is basically an infant.
Adam Sandler for Big Daddy would be the coach
because I feel like he's quite patient and he learns to be patient.
He learns how to look after a child he stole.
He steals a child.
He sure does.
He absolutely steals a child.
That wasn't his kid?
It was not his kid.
It was Jon Stewart's kid.
Adam Sandler plays nothing but deplorable human beings
in his movies.
And I don't know why he had...
I don't know why the judge was like,
whatever, just because the actual dad
is like, it's cool, he stole my kid, it's cool.
No, he still committed a crime.
If I kill a kid with a gun. If the kid just rocked up at his house
and it was like, who are you?
The kid rocked up at his house and then he's like
I'm not this kid's father. And then he's like
no, but no. I'm gonna look after
the kid. It's like if a kid turned up here at the studio.
And I was like, well, none of us own this kid
but let's raise him. Wasn't there like like i thought he had meetings with like like a welfare
officer that guy's bad too he doesn't tell anyone that this is happening i remember that people
movie differently it's not good but there's a diver dan scene and that's all right yeah that's
pretty much dan yeah he comes in as scuba steve No, it's not. It's Scuba Steve. Scuba Steve.
Fucked up.
Diver Dan.
Who's Diver Dan?
Sea Change.
Yeah.
David Wenham.
Fuck yes. What a hero.
Sea Change reference in the middle of a poem.
Oh my God, that's good.
This has been reference heavy to things people don't understand.
Fuck, that's fucking great.
Sea Change also probably a 2001 series, but-
It's all Mumford and Sons.
Mumford and Sons 2008, 2008 mate speaking of mumford and sons
matt your fictional sporting team uh like last time i was on i i just stuck with the first thing
i thought of and um the rules and the topic changed throughout but you just really stuck with
the first thing that came to your head because the first yeah the first thing that came to my
head was the ninja turtles and then so i'm trying to think of a sport with four,
which I couldn't think of.
I'm sure there's plenty.
So I came up with basketball with five,
and I thought Splinter could play like point guard or something.
So it's the Ninja Turtles and Splinter, basketball.
Then I started drifting at some point.
Do you notice any stretches where I wasn't talking?
And I was looking up in that top corner of the room?
That was me thinking, what about like bobsledding?
Sticking with the Ninja Turtles,
but something where they could use their shells.
What's that one?
It's not the skeletons where they lie on their stomach
and go down forwards.
What's the one where people go down on their backs?
Does that exist?
I know what you mean.
Skeletons on their back, isn't it?
Oh, skeletons on... Ske isn't it no skeletons on
one of them you're sort of bobsled it's like downhill something yeah another one you mean
it's got a stupid name yeah but anyway that's what anyway then i went back to basketball because i
thought it'd be i needed i figured you might have needed the sport's name to give it you know
legitimacy but uh ninja turtles is bobsled team's pretty good yeah yeah i just wasn't sure they'd I figured you might have needed the sport's name to give it, you know, legitimacy.
Ninja Turtles' bobsled team is pretty good.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just wasn't sure they'd fit in the bobsled.
Well, yeah, I was going to say.
What do the rules say if, like, they put the bobsled on them and slid on their shelves?
Oh, yeah.
Cut out the bottom.
The bobsled gets gold at the bottom of the hill,
and the Ninja Turtles are, like, there.
Think about it, Dusha.
Do you give a gold medal to the bobsled?
No, you don't.
You give it to what's
riding the thing.
That's very funny
to just have like
a bobsled team in bronze,
a bobsled team in silver,
then a bobsled on gold.
I like that the Ninja Turtles
off to the side
being like,
fuck.
We didn't think about this.
They slide at the bottom
and everyone's like,
yay,
grab the bobsled.
And they're like,
what, huhled Cow a fuck
Then you catch race
Cow a fuck
Cow a fuck
Then they drown their sorrows in pizza
Yeah cause I was trying to
What's a sport that the ninja turtles
Could use their
Cause they're all very different
You got the rat You got the party dude.
The gun does machines.
You've got the angry guy.
And then the leader.
Leonardo's the...
Don's the machines.
Michelangelo's the pizza.
So then, like, what's a sport that uses all those skills?
It's tough, isn't it? It's not easy. See, fighting crime's the first thing that comes to my head, and that what's a sport that uses all those skills? It's tough, isn't it?
It's not easy.
See, fighting crime is the first thing that comes to my head,
and that's not a sport.
What about pizza eating?
Like, competitive eating?
Oh, yeah, competitive eating.
Absolutely.
And they've got gross turtle mouths.
It's not good for the biology of a turtle eating.
The original Ninja Turtle movies,
I'm pretty sure that Jim Henson had something to do with those costumes.
They're like Jim Henson level quality.
So like, I hope so.
I think they were.
So maybe they should be in the Thunderdome as well.
But they'd smash that up.
Street hockey and get Casey Jones.
Oh, yes.
There you go.
Street hockey.
And I was like, because my first thought when you were you go. Straight hockey. And I was like,
because my first thought when you were like,
oh, what works?
I was like, dodge ball?
Because the ball will just bounce off the gel.
And I was like, ah!
That's how you always end a game at dodge ball.
As opposed to a human's back.
The ball wouldn't bounce off that.
That would meld in forever and you'd become one with the ball.
Speaking of dodgeball, though,
the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar would be great at dodgeball,
provided that the dodgeball game took place inside the Matrix.
Well, that's...
Well, no, I think they'd all be shitty, but if they had Neo, yeah.
No, they'd be amazing, because all they've got to do is be like,
Hey, dickhead, make me good at dodgeball.
And he's just like, you're good now.
Or in that case, hey, dickhead, make me good at dodgeball. And he's just like, you're good now. But in that case, hey, dig it,
make me good at every sport.
No, but like with dodgeball,
they can do those weird bendy things.
Although everyone forgets,
me included,
until I just said it,
that Nero actually does get shot
when he does that weird bend
in dodgeball.
And like a basketball
is bigger than a bullet.
Yeah, well,
it makes it easy to dodge, arguably.
But you can catch them, right?
I think that's the thing with dodgeball.
If you catch it, then they're out. Yeah, think about... So all Nero has to do is put up right I think that's the thing with dodgeball if you catch it
then they're out
yeah think about
all Neo has to do
is put up his hand
like that
and the ball stops
and then he grabs it
throws it back
everyone's like
fuck
yeah that's
basically the plot
of the film dodgeball
when Vince Vaughn's
the last person left
in the average Joes
and they've got
four people left
he just catches it
and gets them out
whatever
but he doesn't
stop time to do it
he just uses his
average Joeness
to do it
that's the only movie
that I will tolerate Vince Vaughn.
Fairly.
Not Old School?
Not really.
Old School's not a bad film.
I can't stand Swingers.
People say that that was good.
No.
Wrong.
Wedding Crashers?
No.
Hate it.
No time for that.
I'm into that.
I haven't seen it since Mumford & Sons were around.
There's like B, Mumford & Sons, and A, Mumford & Sons.
But I also don't remember that the dad movie Adam Sandler was in
was fucked either.
So I think maybe I was a different person last decade.
Yeah.
Mumford & Sons changes us all.
Once someone said Little Lion Man and it voted for it to be number one in the Highest 100.
He said Little Iron Man.
Hey there, Little Iron Man, in your heart.
That song only got popular because they say fuck in it,
and it's in a way that people are like, oh, I can say fuck if I listen to this song.
And banjo.
And banjo, because people are like, oh, banjo is an instrument that-
Banjo's back, baby.
Hasn't music changed since that song?
Now every pop song's got banjo in it.
Did you notice that?
Yes.
Yeah, it's not a coincidence.
And no drum kit.
That was another thing that I know
that people liked,
because they do a little percussion
whilst playing banjo.
The drums and shit were just drums
in front of them on the floor.
Like the floor tom, the bass drum, the guitarist, the banjo. Like the drums and shit were just like drums in front of them on the floor. Like the floor tom, the bass drum,
the guitarist,
the banjo player slash lead singer just like
did that at the same time.
It was like one of those one man band
people that boss get everyone hates.
What sport
would Mumford and Sons be best at?
Come on, that's, who's, how many
people? There's, I think three
or four, I'd say four.
Four people.
Four people.
All right.
Mumford and his sons.
Yeah.
Mumford and his sons.
Do you know the lead singer of that band?
I think his name is Matt Mumford.
No.
Something Mumford.
Yeah.
He's married to Carey Mulligan.
And who's that?
He's reaching.
Who's Carey Mulligan?
Carey Mulligan.
So she is the lead actress in Drive.
She played Daisy in Great Gatsby.
She was in a whole bunch of stuff in a very short period of time
and then just stopped being in things because-
Well, she got what's a Mumford.
Yeah.
Which is the least cool thing a person can do.
Wrestling.
Mumford & Sons sounds like a wrestling team.
Yeah.
No, but I don't mean like fancy-
WWE.
WWE.
I mean like old school weird helmets and leotards. Yeah, yeah. No, but I don't mean like fancy WWE. I mean like old school
weird helmets and leotards.
Yeah. Wrestling.
Greco-Roman wrestling. Yeah.
Alright, there's four of them. Marcus Mumford.
Marcus Mumford. Not Matt Mumford.
You're Matt. I'm Matt Mumford.
Fucking hate my brother. I think all of these
teams would be great at Greco-Roman
wrestling, to be honest.
Muppets?
Oh, Lightning McQueen.
You pretty much were wrestling already.
Ninja Turtles?
Choosing the Pussycats less so.
Yeah, you don't want synchronised wrestling.
But they're a good team with a lot of love.
There's a whole lot of heart in that team.
Yeah, exactly.
Crowd favourites.
X-Men?
I mean...
Professor X would make you wrestle yourself.
I feel like X-Men, I can't think of a sport where they wouldn't...
Like, if they were willing to basically kill Brazil as a country,
I think there's nothing they're stopping at.
Also, wrestling would be alright, because they already come in the leotards
Yeah that's true they're ready for wrestling at any point
Yeah
And Beast is like basically built
If you were to design a wrestler
You put him out first
I really like I want to imagine like an alternate universe
X-Men where it's not a school for gifted mutants
It's like a wrestling school
That's like the cover
They're like yeah yeah yeah they're all wrestlers
But Welcome to Xavier's they're all wrestlers.
What a shock when you get there. Welcome to Xavier's School for Gifted Wrestlers.
I go around the country and find the best wrestlers.
They can wrestle those evil cunts down.
The brotherhood of evil wrestlers.
Are they gifted?
Him, that Magnus guy.
Gifted at wrestling?
Or wrestlers who are gifted in other ways
Gifted at wrestlers I feel
That I can get behind
Did I give you the idea I was looking for other mutants
No
Some of the wrestlers in the WWE
Seem like they would be part of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants
Like Bray Wyatt
He's fucked
Doesn't WWE have like
an undead wizard?
Basically, yeah.
Really? That's cool.
Bray Wyatt looks like a lumberjack, but then he does
like a spider walk sometimes, and it's fucked.
It has eight legs.
You know in
The Exorcist when she walks down the stairs?
But like in a bridge thing?
Yeah, he does that in the ring sometimes.
But he looks like a lumberjack.
And people are just letting him do that?
Why aren't they just kicking him in his back?
He feels like he's wide open.
Well, he does it as a celebration sometimes.
Because that's a good move to be in to get stomped.
The WWE likes to pair him and The Undertaker to fight
because they're both very
evil i guess and there's one clip where the undertaker looks like he's dead and then he does
like a weird sit up with his hands across his chest and bray wyatt's like doing a spider walk
around the thing and then he like stops and does a weird head twist he's like oh you're not fucked
anyway wrestling wrestling like i don't really watch wrestling
but every time like every couple years I'm just like
I wonder what WWE yep still fucked
alright good
here we found ourselves
yet again
the end of a real big journey
where
there was a lot of winners here
I think we can all agree that the best wrestler
is a car
and here we are yet again cars a lot of winners here. We can all agree that the best wrestler is a car.
Here we are yet again. Cars.
Yeah, I think Lightning McQueen wins at wrestling.
That was the question.
Which fictional car is the best wrestler?
A big Royal Rumble. Who wins?
Lightning McQueen.
Because he can run over Professor X.
But he can't run over Muppets again.
Muppets rise againets Muppets rise again
Muppet gets caught in the wheels
Yeah it's like how like
It's like how if
Mankind
Declared war
On grass
Yeah
It's hard to kill
Mankind the wrestler
He just puts his sock on
And starts strangling him
Yeah
Yeah wrestling's cooked.
I've been Joel.
Oh, no.
I tried to cut in.
I've been Jack.
I've been Matt.
Thanks for having me.
No worries.
Thanks for coming back.
Got anything you want to plug?
Like maybe a podcast?
Yes, you should listen to our podcast to go on.
We did a whole episode about the Montreal Screwjob,
I know our podcasts do go on.
We did a whole episode about the Montreal Screwjob,
which is a big WWE or WWF wrestling scandal in the 90s.
And people love that episode.
There might be one if you're a wrestling person to listen to.
You've got the Jim Henson one? Also the Jim Henson one.
I don't think we've done any Pixar, unfortunately.
Any Disney?
What else do we have?
Disney.
Nick Mason.
You would know Mason.
We've had him on the show before.
We had him on a couple of weeks ago,
and he's going to come back and maybe do a Ninja Turtles episode sometime soon.
That's good.
Maybe.
Maybe.
They started out as a very serious,
like they killed Shredder in the first trade.
That's, yeah.
This is me off.
They're very violent.
This is a bit of spoilers for Nick Mason's episode of Do Go On.
It's very bloody.
That's fucked.
Oh, yeah, actually, yeah.
It is fucked.
Yeah, anyway.
Do Go On, listen to it.
Yes, and also Fringe.
We've got several shows this week.
Oh, yeah, right.
So we're in our second week of Fringe.
The first shows have gone really, really, really well.
I know that for a fact.
Yeah, it has to have gone.
Yeah.
The noise coming from outside your venue is annoying.
Quieten down, please.
We're trying to get a show over in our room.
But this week I'm putting on a line-up show called
The Amazing Travelling Comedy Tour at the Courthouse Hotel.
I'm emceeing it with a couple of guests each night.
People like, I don't know, who do you,
no, maybe no one you would know, but really funny people.
Good, mate.
Give us some examples.
Nick Capa.
He's been on Shut Up a second before.
Great, all right.
So people from your network like Nick Capa
and he does a podcast with Jack Drews
where they do fictional sequels to movies.
Jack Drews is also going to be on there.
Jess Perkins from Do Go On.
Hey!
There you go.
We need to get her on our show too.
She'd be good at this.
She can talk as fast as you guys.
My brain hurts whenever.
I'm on here and I'm just like, oh, I've got to zone out for a while so my brain can chill.
Come back in. What are they talking about? Oh, jeez. What? I'm on here and I'm just like, oh, we've got to zone out for a while so my brain can chill.
Come back in.
What are they talking about?
Oh,
geez.
It's bouncing about.
People are doing voices.
Josie and the who?
Are they actual cats? I'm going to watch that movie.
Josie and the Pussycats.
Yeah.
Not real cats.
Not real cats.
Fascinating.
Turns me off.
Nah,
fair.
Nah,
fair.
Anyway,
we'll see you all at Fringe.
Yes. Goodbye. Bye. Laters. Laters days. nah fair nah fair anyway we'll see you all at Fringe yes
goodbye
bye
laters
later days
later days
I don't know
if that's how I'm saying
later days
that's great
that can be your
catchphrase that we say
at the start of every episode
later days
at the ball game
the wonderful ball game
today
wow thanks for listening and if you want to follow us on twitter A wonderful ball game today.
Wow!
Thanks for listening.
And if you want to follow us on Twitter,
you can find us at Sandspanceradio or you can find us individually.
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I'm at OldDogsOfDead.
And I'm at GodDammitZammit.
If you want to hear our other shows,
you can head to Sandspanceradio.com
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There's heaps.
And if you want to support us,
head to SandspantsPlus.com. Thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next content there. There's heaps. And if you want to support us, head to sanspansplus.com.
Thank you again for listening
and we'll see you again next time.
Good night for now.
Good night forever.
Kisses.