Plumbing the Death Star - Is it Even Worth it to Work in Empire Records?
Episode Date: August 4, 2024It’s 1990 somethings! A truly blissful time when the internet didn’t exist, everyone was still recovering from the 80s, tying a flannelette shirt around your waist was the pinnacle of fashion and ...you had to buy your music from an actual record store. But you didn’t want to buy your music from some kind of bland corporate mega corp like Music Town. You want to go somewhere hip and radical like Empire Records! Where the staff can get away with stealing a large amount of money, have Rex Manning slam your cheeks in the copy room and you can perform your next big hit ‘Sugar High’ on the rooftop. Like a Beatle! Sure it’s not all good times. You might hallucinate Gwar sacrificing you on stage and your boss might hit you, but at least he didn’t turn you into the cops. See, it’s all swings and roundabouts! Empire Records, now accepting job applications by gun point and they’re open ‘til midnight.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+If you’re in Melbourne or the UK and want to see three beautiful idiots live and in the flesh, head on over to https://www.sanspantsradio.com/events/category/live-shows/ and grab your tickets today to see us in Melbourne, London, Edinburgh, Manchester and/or Birmingham. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey everyone! Look! It's us! Plumbing the Death Star!
That's right!
And we're here to tell you that we are doing a live show...
...in Melbourne.
Is that like a goat, my dude?
Ah, in Melbourne!
Speaking of goats, the Goat Man himself, James, won't be there, but I will.
Yeah, Joel Simon's coming.
We'll be here.
If you are in Australia and you're jealous, well if you're in Melbourne specifically,
and you're jealous because you can't come to any of the UK live shows
Guess what you can come to this one. It's the comedy Republic on the 22nd of August at 630 p.m
Plumbing the death star will be performing live for the first time in like two years exactly
That's exciting in Melbourne tickets are all tickets are on sale right now. You can keep that stutter and it's good. This is good
It's fresh. Yeah, people want to know what going to be like live. And it's like this.
It's going to be like this.
Tickets are on sale through the Comedy Republic website.
They're on sale now. It's 28 bucks a pop.
They're also on sale through the Sam Smith radio website.
Which will then take you to the Comedy Republic website.
It's really like, you know, look, it'll add a click.
Add a click. Add a little bit of extra effort for you.
So come see us live.
It'll be like this.
Except you can say stuff back.
You can yell. We'll be like this and except you can say stuff back
Yeah, you can like people have like whacked my foot well Don't hit my foot Because I think it's funny, but that idea is why would you do that? This is this is how you get an inception?
Don't hit my foot 27th of August 22nd
August my god 22nd 22nd of August comedy Republic come see us what time Jackson 630? Yeah good
It's a Thursday night, so you just finish work, and you're like man work made me clever today time to get dumb anyway
See you there!
Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel.
I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel.
Plumbing the Death Star is a pop culture comedy podcast that asks the important questions
like...
Is it even worth it to work at Empire Records?
Could it be any more shit?
Go and chant the beat more. Okay. Alright, alright. That's alright. Could it be any more shit? The whole thing with plumbing the Death Star if you knew here is we take one pop culture thing
Yeah, and then sometimes we talk about another one. So I just brought them together friends and then by records
Think of one thing and then we we talk that, but then sometimes we talk about other
things.
Yeah.
You know when you talk about one thing and you then talk about a different thing?
That's basically what we're doing.
He's not technically wrong.
I'm slumped in this chair.
Yeah.
Okay.
Right.
So Empire Records, a wonderful film from the 90s.
Okay.
That is very 90s.
You can really tell it's a beautiful period piece.
That's nice.
So Empire Records is a record store or a CD store where you would buy music like a physical
thing.
Cassette tape?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So back in the day, before the internet existed, you got these little
rectangles, these squares that you could go home when you purchased it and put it into
a machine
and then you put that in and you'd be able to listen to music.
And this would be the only way you could listen to music except maybe you could hear it on
the radio.
But sometimes the radio don't play the music that you want.
But these days you go, okay Google, play Mr. Hot Stepper.
And then Google, play Mr. Hot Stepper. That's not what it's called keep calling the song that and that joke would have been very funny
Because it would have triggered the song but instead you fucked up the song
Hey now playing here comes the hot stepper. Yeah
Mr. Hot step so that's the hot stepper. Yeah, she figures it out. Mr. Hot Stepper.
That's what they call him.
Yeah.
I don't know if it is. Go on.
So, at this moment in time,
so you got these like little indie record stores
where you can finally, you can talk to the staff
and they can give you like advice
or they can give you recommendations about certain things.
You're like, I like this, you know, certain brand, maybe I want a band.
I like maybe that kind of band. Yeah, okay. But unfortunately, we're in this era
with sort of these like a bigger brand,
these sort of like endeavors of like a chain story is gonna come in and like, you know,
that's the problem of like Empire Records that we find out. We find out the plot maybe
That's the problem of Empire Records, that we find out the plot maybe three quarters of the way into this film. No.
That's the problem of like, you know, it's gonna get bought out.
Okay.
So Lucas, he's finally got responsibility to be the night manager, to lock up the store for the day.
And he does what any good night manager would do.
Get scared because that's when everything
Not quite takes all the earnings like
$9,000 or whatever it is and then he goes to the casino
Atlantic City, but what if he doubled it he does
But then he lets it ride. You can't let it ride
He lets it ride. You can't let it ride
Maybe was the beginning of a hot streak. Yeah, hot stuff
And so then yeah, the money is gone and then Australia's own Anthony the parlor because he owns the
You know without a trace see you know when we talk about one pop culture thing but then we talk about another thing?
Without A Trace?
You know Without A Trace.
It's like Cold Case.
Or CSI.
You know, or Looking For Alibrandi?
It's not like Looking For Alibrandi.
No, I'm saying Looking For Alibrandi.
He's in it.
He's in it.
What the hell?
He's the dad.
Cold, Without A Trace, it used to follow CSI on Channel 9 in the mid-2000s.
What were you watching?
We're in high school
What are you watching? You're all my maybe
What are you watching get a grown-up time after 830?
Probably whatever SBS movie is on hoping to get a snifter of titty. That's fair. That's fair that lines up
Yeah, anyway, well if you had have been watching on Channel 9 you would have watched without a trace which is a missing person CSI
Kind of like a cold case. It's a cold case. They're dead usually
Yeah, there's a father in that like he's also in looking for Ella Brandy. Okay. He is Ella Brandy's biological father. Right.
Spoilers?
I'm across it. Yeah, so he stole the money. He stole the money cuz he's like well, you know
Cuz he finds a contract. Yeah, we're gonna be what out we're bored out
We're gonna be turned into some sort of like garbage store. Yeah
And so then like he's like well, I cooked it, you know, I tried to let it ride
But oh well, and then he becomes, you know, very just chill like he's like well these things happen. Say la vie
I fucked it nothing I can do to un-fuck it.
That's when you let it ride.
So now Empire Records, the current staff at Empire Records
are you have Lucas who will happily try and steal money
from the company to earn more money to save the company.
Who's Lucas played by?
He's played by someone.
Well they all want to play by somebody.
No but it's an act of them He's played by someone. Well, they all play by somebody. No, but it's an act.
He's played by a wonderful man called Rory Cochrane.
Oh yeah, Rory Cochrane.
What shows here?
He might also be in TV.
I don't have a machine. You're all so lucky I don't have my machine on me.
Well, he's in Black Mass's very own Steven something.
It starts with a floo.
Is that what you were thinking of?
Steven floo?
Were you thinking about White Boy Rick
where he plays FBI agent?
Is that what you think about your favorite TV show
of all time, White Boy Rick?
The Boston.
White Boy Rick's a film actually.
And Danny Brown, the rapper has a cameo appearance in it.
I know White Boy Rick.
Yeah, that's what he's known for.
He's known for something actually. Encounter. No, that's that's what he's known. No, he's known for something actually encounter. No
He's in another fucking favorite TV show hostile. Shut up
He's in another fucking movie like black mass
Is in 24 seven episodes of CSI Miami
Guys is CSI detective Tim speed speedle is that what you're thinking of your favorite character?
That's what I was thinking of
He just said he was someone. He's a safe bet. And then we were joking about him also being from Without A Trace.
No, he was on
Wednesday night, 830.
Banana.
Banana?
Wednesday night, 830 or maybe 930,
went CSI Miami,
screened on Australian television.
That's where you can see Rory Cochran.
Playing Speed. Fucking awesome.
Yeah, but you can also see him in Empire Records.
So you have him, he's Lucas. You have this lovely staff member who will happily steal and think he knows best and spend all your earnings
gambling away trying to win. Then you have AJ. AJ is your typical
90s teen. If you're imagining like someone in flannelette
with kind of like floppy hair,
kind of like floppier than mine at the moment.
Kurt Cobain style?
Is it long?
Yes, like mid length.
Oh, what happened?
Mid length?
Yeah, his hair is mid length.
Oh, right, yeah.
And yeah, he's a wannabe artist.
Okay, so his hair is like Oz in American Pie?
I think his hair is more akin to like probably
kinda what I am rocking at the moment.
Look, here's a poster for you.
There you go. He's the one there.
He's wearing the kind of cardigan,
oversized cardigan.
Oh yeah. I get it. I'm there.
So he's a wannabe artist.
And so he spends all his time like, you know,
doodling and whatnot.
And he is in love with another one of our workers
Played by Liv Tyler and then that is is it Cory? Cory. Yeah, and she, spoilers, is a bit of a speed freak
Whoa! She's a bit of a princess. It's very kind of almost like Breakfast Club style. Speed the drug or speed the thing you can go?
The guy?
Speed the drug. Speed the drug or speed the guy Speed the drug
She's poppin riddling um
And she's you know doing really well in school because she's poppin on that riddling so she can study more and she's like
You know from a rich family. Yeah, and yeah a lot of pressure on her and so she's got off the maybe Harvard or whatever
Is next year? Oh, yeah, then you have
and shows she's got off to maybe Harvard or whatever it is next year. Okay.
Then you have...
Did you just tell your little machine?
I know.
I was gonna say you have...
Gino?
Mark?
Mark?
Mark?
Mark?
Mark?
Played by Ethan Embry?
There you go.
And Mark is a young...
He's not a stoner.
Is there a...
Is he the guy that...
It's like you love a lot of drugs.
Someone hands you a brownie, they don't say what's in it,
but they'll just eat it?
They just eat it, okay.
Is that guy?
Is he the guy that in the movie, yeah,
he has a spiritual connection with a videotape of Guar.
Guar talked to him through the TV.
A special connection when, is you hallucinating.
Yeah.
You're tripping balls.
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah, he watches himself playing with the band Guar on television. Yeah. Tripping balls. Yes. Okay.
Yeah.
He's uh, he watches himself playing with the band Guar on television.
And then as he does a sick solo, then it's like, and now it's time for you to die, Mark.
And so then Mark is fed to the monster on the stage.
And Mark, as he's watching it, he's loving it.
That's awesome.
He's having the best time.
He's just like, whoa, I'm being killed.
You then have Gina played by Renell Zellweger.
Renell Zellweger.
Renell, Renee.
Renee Zellweger.
Bridget Jones is dying.
Bridget Jones.
Bridget Jones is dying.
Renell Zellweger who played Bridget Jones.
Yes.
That's what we said.
Yes, I remember movies.
The woman that accidentally sat on the camera on TV.
Did she sit on a cake?
No, I'm thinking of that other TV series
that's not six feet under, but with Tony Collette.
United States of Tara?
That's the one.
Yes.
Brie Larson sits on cake.
Whoa.
On purpose?
Yeah, because it's-
For sex?
Yeah, it's a sex thing.
Well, she doesn't realize she's doing it for people online
as a sex thing, but she's doing it. Yeah, that's awesome. Brie Larson sits in United States of Tara? Yeah, it's a sex thing. Well, she doesn't realize she's doing it for people online as a sex thing, but she's doing it.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Free license in the United States of America.
Yeah.
No, and Bridget Jones,
when they're reporting on the firehouse.
Yeah, she sits on the cover.
She goes down the pole and they get an upskirt
and she's like,
apply me my ass.
Is Bridget Jones also in that era
where it's like a regular woman?
Oh yeah.
Oh my word, absolutely. Big's like a regular woman. Oh, yeah. Oh my
Big fatty woman
Wow
And then it was like what's that Oh heartthrob Hugh Grant loves a big fat fatty? But she's- What the hell? How can- how can the everyone relate?
And then later on we were like, wait a fucking second.
That's just the size of a person.
That's just a regular person.
What the hell?
Oh movies, Hugh Grant.
Yeah dude.
So then you have Rick Renne.
I'm off to go salute the queen now.
This guy sucks.
Do you salute the queen?
Yeah.
This guy does.
He sucks.
Hello, I'm your average British man from the does. He sucks. Okay, fair enough.
Hello, I'm your average British man
from the mid 2000s.
We love saluting the queen.
Bridget Jones makes me sick
because she's awful.
And I love to salute the queen.
Can you show me how you'd salute the queen, please?
God bless you, queen.
What about if you had the salute but you ended with a thumbs up? Oh. God bless you, Queen. What about if you had the salute but you ended with a thumbs up?
Oh!
Like, God bless you, Queen!
That's good because you gotta really make sure the salute gets through before it becomes the...
What about if you can't do it quick?
No, when it's quick I don't know what's happened.
Yeah, true.
What if you really fucked up and you start with a thumbs up on your forehead and then you put it forward?
If it's quick, the Queen thinks it's a task.
Can you go from thumbs up on the forehead to a salute?
Like a thumbs up on the forehead and you're waving.
No, it sounds like you're almost dismissing someone.
Or you're doing a seagull.
Yeah, don't do that.
It's dangerous.
Don't do that.
Salute to a thumbs up.
I think that's the new move.
I think it's a bad move.
Remember when I invented this
as a means a new symbol we could do with our hands?
This is really good for everyone listening to this podcast.
Well, people gotta watch the fucker video, okay?
He's not wrong. I'm not even gonna explain what I'm doing. You gotta head to YouTube search plumbing the death star to see the new hand signal I invented.
And I'm doing it for the camera right now. Don't you dare fucking tell me what this is. Don't you fucking dare tell me.
You gotta watch it. I will fucking cut it out. I will fucking cut it out of you. If you mention it. I'll kill you both.
Why me?
Are you happy?
I'm in a furor. That's why.
So Renee, or Renelle, have energy.
Renelle Zellwell, go ahead.
She plays a wonderful person called Gina.
You might know her from Chicago as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't.
Was she also me and myself?
I know where they sell Wiggle.
Irene.
Yeah.
Okay.
I think so, yeah.
Anyway, she plays a character called Gina.
And she's a...
A Balearic character.
A Balearic character, but she loved to sleep around.
Okay.
And also she want to sing at some point.
Nice.
Good for her.
Maybe a backup for a band, or like a backup vocalist for a band. That maybe comes up later. Who knows?
Then I think those are your main workers. You also have some other workers like
Don't you have Berko?
It was unclear if he worked there or not. Sometimes he did. Sometimes you're like, what are you doing?
You have Berko, who is a musician. You've got Eddie who also works for you, but also a drug dealer.
Okay, well that works perfectly with the guy who loves drugs.
Well yeah, yeah.
Perfect. And then, Mesh Made in Heaven is fine.
What's the other place Berker's name called? It's like Coyote something, right?
Yeah, Coyote Shivers. And at the point in that moment in time, he apparently was seeing or married
to or whatever Stephen Tyler's ex, which would make him at that point in time, Liv
Tyler's stepdad, and they are very similar in age.
Whoa, that's awesome.
That's cool as hell.
But Liv Tyler, hmm, because if he was dating, nevermind, nevermind, I figured it out.
I catch the case internally.
Yeah, and then I guess the newest employee you see in this film is a guy who's, well, we
just called him Warren, who tries to first off shoplift from the store with Lucas Prevents.
And then he comes back, because he hangs out with the crew, because they're basically doing
a bit of a citizen's arrest
waiting for the cops to turn up.
Okay.
And so he just hangs out with them.
And then when they're like, well, off you go.
Warren comes back this time with a gun.
Uh-oh.
But don't worry, it's got blanks.
Oh, thank gosh.
And he's there.
He's firing around,
but he just secretly just wants a job there.
Oh, you also missed a lady who was suicidal
and shaves her head.
Okay. What about that? Yeah, what's her name?
She starts with hair and then she has no hair.
Yeah.
Don't we all?
So wait, is that, wait.
So his plan to get a job.
Well, no, so it's not that he,
it's not necessarily that he wants a job.
He wants friends, sort of.
He wants friends and a job.
Because he's like,
what, Anthony, he's never gonna,
he wouldn't want to hire me, would he? So then he goes in and steals a job. Yeah, it's like what yes, he's never gonna He wouldn't want to hire me would so then he goes in and steals a record
Yeah, then what they citizens arrest him so he's just hanging out in the star from frayges
And then he comes back with a gun they let him go that he comes back with a job and they say
Say yes, okay
Yeah, basically all right cool because the cops come in they're like look they were it was easy juvie and it was firing blanks
What can we do yeah?
Gun to Lucas's head right and like I don't care nah Deborah cuz she's you know having a time
Yeah, and yeah, she comes in and she's like we can do aren't you gonna fight? Are you gonna use?
I think it's very funny to steal a job at gunpoint the whole time you're working your case. You just got the gun by
the pointed backwards
I'm a work here damn. I'm a work you you can't stop me. I'm a deep-friesome chicken
And that's basically the current stuff, yeah
And then yes to save Empire Records. They then hold the kind of
And then yes, to save Empire Records, they then hold a kind of, let's like sell everything and donate and we're gonna hold a concert at midnight.
And that's when Ronell's Al Wigger, he sings a song about Sugar High.
Right.
Sugar High, ooo-oo-oo-oo.
Gotta love, gotta need it to get by.
This wasn't the question.
Sugar High.
But if I was gonna save Empire Records
I think the guy who gambled I mean obviously that it didn't work out for him
But the thing about gambling is that it will eventually
Yeah chance yeah, cuz the house always loses
The Empire records gambling edition,
one of them will work out.
Uh-huh.
The problem there with gambling, I guess,
if you really want to try and make a lot of money,
I guess you kind of need capital to begin with.
Well, that's why you robbed Empire Records.
You find a dog you think has good odds.
Okay, so now you're going to the trap.
I'm going to the dogs. The small. Yeah Lucas Lucas goes on the crap table. Oh well
I don't know it was a crap. No, it's crap. Yeah, I understand dogs the fastest one wins. Yeah
Dogs I get dog dog I get but sometimes the fastest one doesn't win. Yeah, it's the most disciplines
Yeah, you don't understand fucking jack shit about dogs
No, it's the same truth for horses. Yes
Well, the horses have to be robed. Yeah, so the joke it's like a combo. What it's crazy
Wait, when my role is a jockey riding the horse
Because I think we didn't cuz a road like you row a rowboat, right?
Yeah.
You'd row a rowboat.
But don't you know it was R-O-D-E?
Yeah.
These horses all be rowed.
They need to be rowed.
They need to be ridden?
They need to be ridden?
That feels wrong to say as well.
They were, they were ridden?
That's not right either.
I think it's ridden.
Yeah.
The horse is ridden. I think it's written
Yeah, it's written. I've written
Hey
Gave me a ride in his car. We rode down to Sydney. Mmm. No. Oh, so you I
Ride the horse. Okay, I rode the horse. What rode the horse. The horse was ridden.
What did you do on the weekend?
I rode a horse.
I rode a horse.
That doesn't sound good.
What, but I ridden a horse.
I went horse riding.
Yeah, yeah.
But what did you do on the horse?
Rode it.
I guess I rode it.
You rode the horse.
I rode a horse.
I rode the horse on the main road.
I don't like it.
Well, I think what's weird is
you two should have said-
I ride it on the road. The horse needs to be roged. Well, I think what's weird is the horse needs to be road.
Yeah, I fucked up originally.
But what do you, the horse needs to be ridden.
Yeah. Yeah. You need to ride the horse.
You gotta ride that horse.
Someone's gotta ride the horse.
After the race, that horse has been road.
It's been, oh, that feels weird to say.
It's been road in the past.
Yeah, but you can't be like, it's been ridden.
Well, you can.
It's been ridden feels more right
than the horse has been road. Yeah, I know, but. Put the horse in the stable, it's already been written. Well, you can't even written feels more right than the horses been rode Yeah, I know but put the horse in the stable. It's already been rode feels insane. Oh, yeah
It's already been ridden. It feels more normal
Road the horse. I don't want to ride. I don't want to ride a pre-road horse
Someone already rode this whole I don't want to ride a road horse. Somebody already rode this horse.
Fine. So the horse is rode?
Fucked up.
Maybe the horse is ridden is right there.
The horse was ridden.
But someone rode it.
So I can't ride it.
Yeah.
Okay.
We've settled it there. We figured it out.
So yeah. So Warren wants this job to work with these maniacs.
And all I kept thinking of is like, Warrin, why do you want to work there?
And also Anthony La Paglia, like man, you have the most incompetent bunch of muppets working for you.
I don't know who has it worse. Him?
What's that? Kermit the Frog?
What's that frog's name again?
Kermit, or me sometimes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And by records, it's definitely the most annoying out of all of them.
I would much prefer to work with Gonzo than...
Cause also, like, uhh...
What's that weird alien guy, Gonzo?
Gonzo, he's the, yeah.
Gonzo and Floppy Bear, no, what's his name?
Fonzie Bear.
Also, Rizzo the Rat. Rizzo is chill.
While he runs Empire Records, he himself has a boss.
I see.
That he's sort of like, you know, basically has, you know, ownership of it.
And he's the one that wants to sell it to the big megacorp.
Yeah.
So there are advantages of working at Empire Records.
If you were like a teenager and you're like wow this is something I do I like to play music
yeah you can play music at all times on the big thing that goes all through the
store you get some vetoes because if someone is playing something you don't
want you can say nah and then the big siren goes off and you play whatever
music you want Jackson I'm sick of Here Comes the Hotstepper Yeah, yeah, yeah Turn it up, turn it up
Why that song?
It's a great song
It, what do you, you, cause like
Yes?
To fill the listeners in
Jackson and Optimal just have one song stuck in his head for a day or two
Yeah
But Here Comes the Hotstepper has been going for about two weeks
It's locked in
Sometimes it's a song like that
Sometimes it's a song he just made
And sometimes it is a song that doesn't exist
But he thinks it does. What was the song we were singing at lunch?
Meatballs in the studio a meatballs in the studio cuz I had meatballs once again
I had meatballs in the studio. Also that song wasn't what you were singing. What was I singing?
I can't remember but it wasn't that. I wasn't singing meatballs in the studio. No. You sure?
I'm pretty sure I was singing meatballs in the studio. The lyrics might be right, but the was definitely wrong. Meatballs in the studio. No it was slower. What about our meatballs? No! It was the soul of melody. Meatballs in the studio. That's closer. That's so sad. Yeah. That went for like months. Well, Adam, who?
Our other Pakistanis fanarts.
Not quite a robot, not quite a man.
Little robot man.
Little robot man.
He is a man, but also a robot.
That's not the right tune.
But Adam was convinced I knew this song, but I didn't know the song.
But then you convinced yourself, and then me, that you knew the song.
So I didn't even know any of it.
Who knows who knows that song? Where did you last? Where? Where did you run into? Here comes the hot
step up naturally. I don't. Well, I thought on an episode of it's always sunny in Philadelphia,
but I tried to find that sequence recently and did no such sequence. Are you sure you
weren't looking for the wrong song title? No, it's here comes the hot step up. Yeah,
but you've been calling it Mr. Hot Stepper. but I think if I put in hot stepper as long as you
put it on a sunny but if you put in mr. hot stepper then you might be throwing
it up the stairs Google is like knows how fucked up they say they call him mr. hot stepper I
don't know I think he is mr. hot stepper they call him mr. Hot Stepper. Murderer. So we multiply.
I'm hitting that veto.
Soak with whatever Jack puts on, whatever garbage he wants.
It's a great song.
It's a good song.
But then he gets stuck in his head.
Yeah, you don't want that.
So, okay.
But it might get out of your head, but if you're not musical like me
Yes, okay
So even if it is if I remember correctly and I might be misremembering yeah
It's not just a straight record store isn't there also like that's a TV's and shit. No, it's a full-on
Just it's a record store. I'm misremembering the scene and I might be thinking of a scene from the 40 year old Virgin
Yeah, anyway, all right, so just record store to be here
You can go in to listen to music that's come out
Yeah, like yeah or to make out with with you, you know your paramour
Oh my god, you know that you're not meant to you know, man. Yeah, the only one person's lad in the booth
I have one at a time. Yeah, that's the rules to stop fucking I'm guessing smart
One at a time. Yeah, that's the rules to stop fucking, I'm guessing.
Smart.
So working in a record store would be not that much different
from working in a regular retail store,
except everyone there is more annoying about music.
Yeah.
Cause like, when you, like, if you work in a shop or a bar,
they usually just let you put whatever music
you want on as well.
The only difference is that the people don't come in
and be like, hi, I would like this jacket,
or I would like a drink.
They're like, hi, I would like recommendations on this CD.
That's where I'm gonna struggle.
Well, you'd hear bits and pieces.
I think you'd have a go to.
Yeah.
You'd just be like, ah, have you heard about-
The Hot Stepper?
The Hot Stepper.
Murderer?
Murderer.
Yeah, no, not that one.
Oh.
What other music is there?
I feel like there's a song that could easily get stuck in your head for a hundred years
is Flagpole Sit-Up by Harvey Gange.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
The Peepshow theme song.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh yeah, it's got, it's one of those songs that could just descend into my brain, get
stuck in the wrinkles.
Um, yeah, but also everybody would be annoying at Empire Records.
Well everyone is annoying.
That's a real detractive.
I think the problem here is not just everyone's annoying, is that your boss is also a little
bit annoying.
In that there's no direction there, there's no responsibility, you can kind of do whatever
you want.
Lucas fucks up.
There seems to be no start times or finish times for ships.
You can bring in a gun and you'll get a job, apparently.
Lucas fucks up by stealing a lot of money and Anthony's like I am mad at you but right now just sit
on the couch and I'll figure this out and then he angrily plays the drum for a bit and
then he also slaps him around a bit so that's not also good.
I forgot about that bit when I was watching.
So you get a puzzle but that means your boss gets to beat you up a little bit.
Which is like again I understand I understand when, say,
some of your employees get to change their account
for their Uber Eats, and maybe for six months,
they just keep ordering Uber Eats.
And being like, it's so weird,
I'm not getting charged for Uber Eats.
And then I look up the, like, say, I don't know,
I mean, someone, the boss looks at, say,
the account and software and is just like, huh.
$600 in Uber Eats.
Yeah, Uber Eats, I guess I must have done that.
That's silly of us.
Why do we do that?
And then at some point I'm like, hey!
Did anyone...
Who keep doing this?
Yeah.
Would it have been better if you'd been able to slap the shit out of me?
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought it was funny.
It was funny.
It was funny.
And it was the second time it's happened in the company too.
Wait, did it happen again? No, not to me, but it happened prior to that, didn't it? Yeah. Oh. And it was the time it happened in the company too. Wait, did it happen again?
No, not to me, but it happened prior to that, didn't it?
Yeah.
And then like another time you're like,
well, hey, we're traveling interstate.
Can you please make sure that you turn off roaming
or anything like that?
Because you will get charged.
Anyway, hey, it's crazy that the phone bill is,
just for one phone, is $ $500 For like a two week period
What the fuck happened?
You turned your phone off when we were flying right?
Ahhhhhhh
That's so long ago
You didn't just watch 4k pornos the whole time?
It's crazy we're getting so much good reception this sky
That's why dude in the sky I guess we're closer to the satellites
That makes sense.
Jackson, first reception was from the towers.
What?
Um, well how many times do you
reckon you could rob from Empire Records
before they fight?
Well it depends, because the movie concludes with the business being saved.
Yeah, they make enough money
from everyone donating and they're selling off
some of the big like props that are in there.
Like you know, ah this is a big cut out of like an album that's
come out of it. They sell a bunch of crap. Oh yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. And so like they
make enough money to sort of buy it off the person who owns it so that the
answer you probably can just run it himself. Yeah. Because he's a bit of an
old-school guy he likes the music he He's about, you know, that.
As opposed to kind of making a profit.
Whereas the co-owner was just like,
we're here, we're running a business.
I really wish my grandpa made this company,
but he had a guy he knew was someone
and he turned it into like, you know,
basically like plumbing and toilets.
He's like, you know how rich I'd be
if this was a toilet store?
Ah, so rich.
Well, maybe that's how we could save up and that's also
Maybe what our podcast should be like will you transition from plumbing the death start to plumbing your toilet?
Do you have any more money in it? You're a king to figure out plumbing? Yeah, I could I could fix most toilets
Eric and yeah, I mean it's just tubes
Like it's just figuring out where the water does and doesn't go.
Okay, so.
Yeah?
Here's my theory about broken toilets. You ready?
Oh, God.
Joldoosh's theory of broken toilets.
Alright.
So, again, the common household has like one of three problems.
Okay.
One, blockage. Easy to fix.
Sure.
How do you fix it?
Okay, well there's a couple of ways you can go about it.
Depending on the blockage.
Yeah, go on.
If it's in the...
I mean, the T-bend, but I meant the S-bend.
If it's in the S-bend, you simply would turn the toilet off, like the tap,
then disconnect the S-bend over a bucket and wear gloves,
because it will be shitty water.
Disconnect the S-bend, clean the S-bend out,
reattach it, try and flush it again. Do you know the difference between the plungers? because it will be shitty water. Just connect the S-bend, clean the S-bend out,
reattach it, try and flush it again.
Do you know the difference between the plungers?
Yeah, dude.
I don't know, there's one plunger.
There's one plunger and it plunges.
Why would you need two?
No, there's two.
What does the other one do?
I'm not a plumber, my dude.
I just know one is meant to be like, you know,
for a certain thing,
the other one's meant to be for another certain thing.
Yeah, but here's the thing is that just fake plumbing
Now I don't know
I don't know enough to know that I what I do and do not know but no
Is that a plumbing scam?
Yeah!
What you're saying?
There's the plumb like there's the plunger
Yeah
that you get from in cartoon
Yeah
the one that always gets attached to say you know my face or whatever
Yeah
I gotta get it up actually
Yeah But there's another one that almost looks like a thick butt plug.
We don't need one of those.
And I think the one that we think is meant to, like, you know,
fix the problems if something is stuck in whatever,
like the one that we think to go to is actually use the other one.
You use the butt plug. Yeah. OK.
What the hell? I know. It doesn't matter because taking the S bendband out. Yeah, I take longer, but it'll still fix the problem
You can also use like the wizard on the wire. Yeah, they got the
Grind up the shit or whatever. Yeah, what about oh, yeah, there's one. Yeah. Look at these look at these different plungers
Look at them all that's three many. There's three. I know the butt plug
No, there's a cup plunger a flangeer, and then there's an accordion plunger.
I've seen the flange plunger before.
Yeah.
Carmen, hang on, just quickly Google what's a flange plunger for?
What's a flange?
Which plunger?
Aren't your fingers flanges?
Shut up.
No, that's phalanges.
Ah.
So a cup plunger, the one that...
The common one that gets stuck to your face that everyone's like, that's the one I use.
No, that's the one you use in bath tubs, showers and sinks.
Is that for like a little plug?
Flat surfaces.
Oh, flange is toilets, right?
Flange, you use on toilets.
Yeah, I did know the flange!
This plunger has another cup that stands from the atom bell shaped cup.
Maybe the accordion one's for like, normal holes.
And also you use on toilets, when you use an accordion plunger, it sucks up water into the bellows to create a vacuum
Every time you plan you're getting a bunch of water pressure to help dislodge your clog
It's actually even better for clogs than okay. So there you go. What about three recently?
I got into a fight with my toilet. Yeah, so your toilet
I reckon that was a broken seal wouldn't stop flushing. Yeah, that's a broken seal seal
Was it like a I didn't see I saw the plumber go in I heard him say fuck
And then he fixed it in like was it like a something that wasn't tight enough
I don't know loose bolt kind of that's a possibility when I was looking it up angry and furious and being like maybe I can fix
It myself and well, yeah, I mean you should called me. I reckon I would have fixed it.
Well, the one thing I couldn't figure out
is I tried to take off the back of the cistern.
I reckon that's where the fuck
by the plumber comes into action as well.
What have they done?
No, cause I tried to take it off,
but the button that you used to flush
was stopping it from coming off the back of the cistern.
Yeah, it was like that had created like a blockage
and I couldn't pull the cistern.
Cause I, my old toilet, when I lived with my parents, you could take the fuck off. Yeah and I couldn't pull the cistern because I my old toilet when I live with my parents
You can take the fucker
Yeah I'm proud of the Lord
Maybe take off the top bit like could you maybe was like could you unscrew the lids?
I tried you couldn't unscrew it. I don't know what the guy did in there
Yeah, that's what the fuck was for for sure. He went to get lifted up
He hit the same thing was like fuck. Yeah, but then he probably just put like a thing in there was like
Oh, it's just stuck. Unl it. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, man
It's always like a terrifying thing when like you look at some other day We're like, okay
This looks like it detaches as it were and you're trying to like, you know, I was trying to wiggle it and I'm like
I don't know if it's scary. I'm too scared to be like
I don't know if this actually comes off but looks like it comes off a sales assistant came in
I'm like, hey, how does this like work? And I it's gonna like use a bit of force
assistant came in I'm like hey how does this like work and I just got to like use a bit of force humiliating tell you what um but I'm almost like yeah but I
was too scared because I don't want to break it you don't want to yank it off
and bring something with it I could have been all that was because you can get
well that's what I'm like oh it's stuck well it's stuck I don't do anything
exactly all I needed was like and then I don't want to break it and then the
plumber comes and he goes as a look in he comes out to me They're like do fuck your toilet. Yeah
No, I says one it's like okay. So you're saying yeah plug
So plug so either you're busting out the accordion plunger or you're just disconnecting the s-bed to broken seal
You lift up that lid you have a look at if there's any little leaks in there
It's probably a rubber seal you replace actually, the plumber, he replaced something.
But it was a device of some kind.
Oh it might have been the...
The Flushy Boy.
Yeah, like the thing that's connected to the button you press.
It's like a thing that goes like this.
Yeah, the Flushy Boy, it's a whole bunch of characters here.
I will say that with zero training we're doing okay
Imagine if I read a fucking book, I don't know this from reading a book on plumbing. Imagine if I read one book on plumbing Okay, I'm pretty sure that's apprentices
He's self-taught what's the third problem?
And the third problem is probably like a broken seat or something. Broken seat or something. Like the seat you sit on?
Yeah, I guess that's a problem with the toilet. That happens. That's the only problems I've had at my house Problems probably like a broken seat or something broken seat or something like the seat you sit on yeah
I guess that's a problem with the toilet that happens. That's the only problems. I've had at my house broken seat
Yeah, the seat eventually say one of our toilets. We got two toilets. We live
But our house is also built stupid yeah
Yeah, so our
toilet Our house is also built stupid. Yeah Yeah, so our toilet
We have one upstairs and that faces the Sun window that faces the Sun
So for the majority of the day
And slowly over time the toilet seat melts yeah
Coming in you see like a toilet just like seat melted to the rest of it you like
Shit oh no what happened? No? I just it doesn't obviously because the Sun in Australia
It gets hot, but it's not like fucked up. Yeah, so it just makes the seat like ripply, but it also meant it like frail
Where did I hear this story? Okay?
Somebody had a toilet seat, but it was one of those toilet
seats that has like shells in it. You know, it's like a clear resin that has shells in it, and they'd
sat on it so much that the resin had worn away to the shells, and whenever they sat on it, they got
a scraped ass. That sounds like something that would have happened to a family you knew when you lived
Yes
In Scotland?
Someone got a scraped arse from a shell toilet and I can't remember who or if that story's
real.
If it's not real, that's the worst story I've ever heard.
You're thinking about demolition man with the three shells?
No, no.
You better hope this story is true well, because if it's true, it's like oh, yeah, that's funny
Yeah, huh, but if it's fake I'm like use your imagination
And then they sat on the seashells then one went in their asshole
Yeah, and then they came and then the cum landed on the floor and then the dog ate it
And then the dog got pregnant and he was really scared, But then it turned out the dog had just been having sex normal style now. That's his story
I'm more worried about your imagination
Thanks so much for coming bring your dog into my veterinarian. It's okay
Normal style normal style your dog didn't get pregnant from eating your cum.
Laughing up your cum.
That's the best use of her all day, dog.
You did it, the weight off my mind.
Wow!
Far out.
Finding out your dog had sex, scary.
Normal style, I'm calm.
It's only the normal style.
That's really relieving.
So when you say normal style for us, so is it fucking missionary?
Nooo.
Doggy style, normal style for a dog.
Yeah, doggy style is normal style for a dog.
So they could have said doggy style.
But then it was normal style for a dog.
What position do cats fucking?
Probably doggy too.
I've never seen cats hump.
For a dog, a doggy door is just a door.
Yeah.
That's true.
To me a dog, a doggy door is just a door and doggy style is just normal style.
A regular door for you is a manny door.
Oh my god. Hey babe, let's fuck man style.
If I found my dog fucking man style, I would walk out of the street and shoot myself. I
honestly think
Time to go learn this
How are they? I've got some questions for the almighty creator God and I know the fastest way to get
I created a god and I know the fastest way to get them. My eyes just glaze over.
There's no space for me on Earth.
Animals change positions?
Bonobos.
Why do you know that?
Bonobos are the horny monkeys.
Yeah, they also had like, we accidentally invented, well we gave them the tools and
they accidentally invented prostitution.
Oh yeah, I know that.
Bats eat each other's pussies.
Whoa, I was about to say.
That's for the bears.
Yeah, that's prissy. I would say that a lot of lot of animals do horrible sex. Yeah, well, it's fabulous
It is truly fabulous. Yeah
Um, I think that the funny thing with dogs and cats fucking or whatever is missionary truly horror
like it's kind of like seeing an angel, but
Biblically correct angel where it's horrifying.
But I think if I just saw dog 69ing I'd be like, ah, bad dogs.
Yeah, me too. Yeah, because that makes sense. You can see the dogs coming to that place.
One starts licking an arse or whatever, or sniffing and then they're like rolling over.
And then the other dogs, because dogs already kind of 69 when they sniff arses.
So all they gotta do is lie down and make it work.
I'm trying to imagine what if you do dog 69 and one was on its back
Yeah, and one was standing over yeah with that would you be out in the street?
Would you go to see God that's still better than that's still better than?
Missionary what if you came into the lounge room and your dog was sitting on the couch and your other dog was kneeling down
sucking it off?
Okay, that's a visit to God. I think I would also be
upset
Scramble off the couch you're like, what I the fuck a TV
I can't live like this.
The dogs have been fucking normal style, like for us.
No thank you.
What about if you had three dogs and you came home
and the dogs are 60-90,
but then one dog was just like jack it off, like cock style.
I would be like to see dogs with a little cocks.
Okay, what if the two dogs are just fucking normal dog style Jack it off like cock style. I would be
What if the two dogs are just fucking normal dog style yeah the third dogs like I don't know Yeah, it's there's no way for a dog to jack off with it being no
I've seen that dog do that thing with a sand on two legs and go like this
So I'm seeing that I would be like well
That's not so normal cuz he's just gonna horny and he doesn't know he can get in yeah, okay, you know yeah
Worst like the little gift or whatever I saw once was yeah a dog fucking its own mouth
Yeah, not pretty funny. Yeah. Oh absolutely like you shouldn't do that, buddy
Chocolates and roses now you just wait um
Empire record horrible place to work
I don't know yeah so you got the boss there zero accountability yeah don't
know that in a job zero accountability to the high on the job whoa yeah but it's
zero accountability but then there is sudden accountability there doesn't
appear to be and or start start or end times you shift you don't know when you're meant to but there is shifts because it's like hey
I think it was Gina you're not meant to be here today
I get to start your shift starts at this time, but she's there because she wants to bang Rex Manning
Yeah, yeah, do you think I'm sorry Cory is there then Gina banks Rex Manning?
Yeah, you were trying to do like a normal you come in at the start of the day and you work
And then you leave at the end of shift would they be annoyed at you? Yeah, you don't want to hang out and smoke weed or eat each other out or whatever
I watch Don't Fuck Normal style
Because I get Rex Manning who is like a celebrity there is you know used to be in like a TV sitcom thing and now
He's made a very cheesy
Maybe like he's the David Hasselhoff
Yeah, okay
Hasselhoff I just said accidentally
And so then René Zellweger David Hasselhoff. Hasselhoff, I just said accidentally. I'm staying by it. And so then, Reneal Zellweger.
David Hasselhoff, I'm there.
So like, yeah, so Reneal Zellweger,
she bangs Rex Manning.
But then, she does it in the copy room,
and everyone is realizing it's happening,
and then there's no sort of repercussions.
But I feel if like, I don't know,
we had a guest on and say,
Jack, you fucked him in the staff bathroom.
Yeah.
And I feel I'd have words with you.
It's such a small studio.
Yeah.
That you would not, I could not do it quietly.
What'd you do?
Um, yeah, they're like, buddy.
What's this up, dude?
This is a place of work.
Like we're all standing in the corridor.
Yeah.
And then both you and whoever yeah walk out and you're like
Okay, sorry we were taking a piss
Yeah
Sorry, we're fuck. Sorry. We're taking a piss. Oh my god
Sorry, we're taking a piss is this believable do you believe me right now? Okay? We'll fucking
Not like dogs that should be sinful
Fucking doggy style, yeah Okay, we were fucking, normal style. We were fucking there, normal style. We were not like dogs. That should be sinful to fuck like a dog. Normal style to you?
You guys were fucking doggy style weren't you?
Yeah.
So normal style to dogs?
Yes.
Okay, okay, okay.
But yes, obviously you couldn't do that at work.
That would be a crime.
You know what I mean?
That's not okay.
But what I think is a crime, just a bit of a big faux pas.
I think fucking at work is a crime.
It is a crime.
Is it a crime?
I'd say so. Is it a crime? Sexual harassment? For whom?
Well it's like most HR departments, like you can't even be in a relationship. You shouldn't do that, but I don't know if it's a crime.
Well that again is company policy, not crime. You're not gonna get arrested.
It would be up. The workplace would count as like public. It would be public indecency. Yeah. Because I know that you could have a workplace where you're like one of the points because it's just company policy
you can fuck yeah but like thing is like you can fuck in I in the bathroom yeah I
guess and then it could be like oh hey cool you're fired yeah I use no need to
involve the like you know Johnny law in this Johnny law which is a crime yeah and
then it'd be a more of a civil thing because you like I'm suing you for
wrongful dismissal I know I should be allowed to fuck the guests.
And then maybe, you know, we'd probably take it
to a civil court, potentially.
But that's still not a crime.
But surely it would count as public,
because you couldn't have a job where it was okay.
Yeah, it's a societal thing.
I'm pretty sure it would count as public indecency.
I would say it's a crime.
I would say it's legal.
It's not public indecency,
because also it's not public.
It's like, I mean, public indecency is also like,
it sounds like I'm pro'm pro this I once again
I'm not pro this don't fuck again. See now. I don't think you could open like a record store
Where you're like everyone's naked no no because that will probably be a crime well
That's in decency, but it's a public but you could be is a work bathroom a public no it's not
It wouldn't be public indecency
We're like the fuck at work here at Sands Pans Radio.
That's what I'm hearing.
Jack it off in the toilet?
Yeah.
Joel Salmon said it's fine.
I mean, dude, your words.
Dude, it's okay.
It's not a public bathroom.
Therefore it's a private bathroom.
Which is the same type of bathroom
that you jack off it at home
Yeah, so we do
Fucking hot guests
Damn hot and horny well
I think another problem with that by records is by the way you've described it
It sounds like it's not gonna last very long off. No movie
Indication again once again if you're looking at that just at the little tiny bit of time pre-internet, pre-napster.
And so, you know, it's like, yeah, they wanted basically a big megacorp takeover, which they
are against.
It's kind of like, you know, when sanity are like, we're going to come in.
And then sanity are like, what happened to sanity?
Or borders.
Like, wow, there were so many at one point.
And then everyone was like, fuck this.
We don't need this.
I hate books and reading.
It is really exciting exciting to see a sanity
Yeah, sometimes see the sanity being like a music store like a CD store V back in the day
But you can still see them sometimes you're in a rural shopping mall somewhere. I don't think they have any physical stores anymore
I think sanity is I probably saw one. Yeah, it would have been like five years
Yeah, pretty good used to be one in Rosebud. Yeah, very exciting to see. Very exciting. So you have that, right? So again, you have the someone like Megacorp's
coming in, they want to make it all very corporate. That's something what they were battling against
because it's like, you know, no, oh, they don't want to have to wear, you know, uniforms
and stuff like that. And Renell, she actually, yeah, she kind of just wears one of the like
the uniforms of the new thing that's coming in, but that's all she's wearing.
And everyone's like, please stop,
put on some clothes, god damn it.
Once again, no repercussions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No repercussions.
Which is maybe good.
I think I could work for a corporation.
I'm not about the music.
Yeah.
You know they say, you used to be about the music.
I was never about the music.
And then yeah, when-
Big bucks.
When Anthony LaFaia buys it all out,
he's like, I'm gonna do this and do it right yeah, because now he's like an independent record store owner
Which we did really well in the early to me
If he opened up nowadays, maybe or had things going a bit more niche sure but back then well
He's yeah, it's done very long also like your staff there is
so we got AJ is leaving to go to art school and Cory is also leaving
to go to Harvard.
So you've got a nice little turnover.
Pivot to online.
The dot com bubble is happening right around now, right?
Just before.
Just before.
So this record store is going to do well for a little bit, a couple of years, and then
it's going to start slowly fading until like 2008 and then it's gonna start slowly fading until like
Why?
What's going on we can try that newfangled internet thing do you remember that story about the maniac
Who he started a service where people sent him their physical?
Music libraries and he was like what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna upload them onto a server so you can listen to them wherever you want.
And he did this like two years ago. And obviously at the time people were like why did you do that? And he, as part of his business he bought like a warehouse in one of the most crime-ridden cities in America and he was like everything keeps getting stolen I'm gonna put up security cameras and then the security cameras got stolen. Um, I and anyway as an idea
Yeah, maybe there's that obviously two years ago is not the right time to do it
We should turn it into a blockbuster but for music. Yeah, come rent a CD
Whoa, put it in your car for one buck a week or whatever
You can't burn it though, right?
I was gonna say, like, although isn't nowadays maybe the best time to do it?
With like a bunch of streaming services pulling down lots of different media, so if you own
the physical media, you can go this, get it out, you know, put it somewhere so you can
access it and maybe some of your friends can look at it.
So with music streaming at the moment, it is very fucked up because Spotify kind of started it
and Spotify were like,
people like to pay $10 for streaming.
Yeah.
Like the pricing was a marketing decision
with absolutely zero thought put into how much money
they actually needed to make to maintain the library
they have.
$10 a month is not enough.
No.
So Spotify,
Spotify have pretty much just made music worthless, which is exciting.
But it means that, look, come back to me in a couple of years.
Spotify can't keep doing this and we'll go down the toilet soon.
So yeah, opening a record store in probably the next year or two is probably going to
be good because music might go for a bit and then come back again.
Yeah, yeah.
Love when music goes for a bit.
Back to physical releases, maybe.
Yeah, so if you can hold out through the dot com bubble
through the 2010s.
Well, yeah, because it comes back again in like 2016-ish.
That's when, but it's the same with bookstores.
They go for a bit and they come back.
People are like, actually we like Holden, that thing.
Yeah, fuck the Kindle, dude.
Yeah, fuck the Kindle. Fuck the Kindle, I don't care, I'll miss physical books. I like the smell of a book baby.
And then you start reading that and you're like, ah these books are heavy, you know what I miss?
But that looks so nice on my show. I go back to the kindle. Fuck the kindle bro.
Oh this kindle, oh I miss the smell of the paper. In the bin, now give me that heavy board. Traditional media is always better except with radio podcasts are way better.
Radio hosts can go fucking jump in a lake.
Oh yeah because well you'd never get any radio host talking about say you know
dog fucking normal style.
If you turned on your drive time radio and they were like what have you
saw a dog sucking off your other dog on the couch? They would be fired and we do it with impunity. Yeah, with your boss
Truly we work at our own
Do you reckon that radio stations are allowed to fuck in the toilets? It's unclear
Cuz bigger corporations that would fly under the radar. Yeah, yes
Yeah, a lot more crimes do happen in these big corporations
That are crimes because they are an abuse of power
Yeah, that's true
There's the crime
I was not involved in any of this
But yeah, working at a corporation cinema for like close to
It was like over 15 years
There was a lot of shit going on
Yeah, I can imagine dude
A lot of wanking in the toilet I don't know about wanking that's not exciting if you're on I mean is for the wanky
Like when you're working like it's more exciting to sleep with a co-worker on shift than to jack off in the toilet
This is also the problem I would feel about working in Empire Records
Oh, like, you know being in the position of the boss Empire Records Because usually you're hiring basically lots of plucky teens
Yeah
Who are going to be there as you sort of like your summer job or your like
job before they go on you know, actually a better career as it were. Yeah, and that's you know, full of hormones and bullshit
You know, there's the fucking AJ here. He's trying to be like I'm a draw
Corey look beautiful and I got Corey being like I'm gonna fuck Rex Manning and lose my virginity to him.
And I'm like, I really hate that
I have to deal with this bullshit.
Oh, absolutely.
The fact that we're all over 30,
some of us more 40 than others.
And you're like, it's nice that I don't have to deal
with a teenage drama.
Oh, teenagers are awful.
Yeah.
Like imagine that, imagine being that boss.
You're dealing with this first iteration
of these people being like, oh yeah, I think I'm in love with that, my emotions are going flying.
I've got to deal with this person who like, you know, first off is coming to like work with the bandages on their wrists
and also they're shaving their head in the bathroom and I'm like,
I am not prepared to mentally deal with their mental problems, but I'm going to be like,
hey buddy, are you doing okay?
Employees come and go, but Rex Manning keeps coming up and someone keeps trying to fuck him.
Exactly!
Yeah man.
And so then you know, they're doing really well, whatever, then they go off to university, college, and then they whatever.
And then I get the next batch.
Yeah.
The same thing again.
No one moves up with you.
And then the same thing happens.
Right?
And then the next batch.
And then another point, you're 40 years old and you just want to play the drums and you got your staff talking about skibbity toilet you know what that is yeah you get to do that pretty much
now anyway except instead of playing the drums you just want to listen to be on
the bastards yeah me and Jackson are like dude sk scubity toilet. Do you reckon dude?
Well, I think it's a thing you gotta get. Yeah, there's a guy. It's all to go. He's the g-man in a toilet
You know him. Well, you got to kill him. Yeah, he's a bad guy. He's a being invaded by
Yes, scubity toilets as multiple
Toilets in the camera heads. Yeah camera heads are good multiple. Yeah, it's a sort of war between the skibity toilets and the camera heads. Yeah, camera heads are the good guys.
Yeah.
Who are camera heads?
They're just guys with cameras for heads.
Cameras for heads or cameras on their heads?
Cameras for heads.
So it's funny because the skibity toilet, the bad guys, they're a human head in a toilet.
Yeah.
Where the camera heads have no human head but have cameras.
But still they are the protagonist.
There was a...
And you gotta flush the skibity toilet.
Of course, you gotta give him... that's when the S-BEN comes in.
But the toilet's not attached to anything, so I don't know where he goes.
I don't know if he's gonna fart.
They hate it though. They really don't like to flush.
They really fucking hate being flushed.
I think it would suck maybe not to work at Empire, but definitely to be the boss of Empire Records.
I feel would be painful.
We're four and a half years younger than you.
And you're already putting up with this. So imagine it's ten.
Jesus.
Yeah.
Yeah, whatever the skibbity toilet equivalent
for like, you know, a 19 year old is.
I don't know why.
It's not even that, it's gotta be in high school.
Fuck, you'd be even younger.
Ah.
I cannot fathom what a 16 year old is thinking these,
like right now.
TikTok.
TikTok, what about it?
I don't think so.
I think even, I think that's like, you know.
Is there a new social media we don't know about?
I just think TikTok just think tick tock
Millennials and all that sure you got like a bunch of young
Like tick tocks one of those things at the moment where millennials using it is cringe. Yeah, they're trying to cancel them and um
Yeah, I take talk it's like it's all like the algorithm right? Yeah, like your tick-tock is gonna be very different
To like you know the 16 year old tick-tock. Oh, yes, give me toilets for like 10 year olds
Yeah, they don't know G man is no I know who G man
They should have finished Gordon Freeman story people still doing that thing where they learn how to phase into different dimensions and go see
Draco Malfoy
into different dimensions and go see Draco Malfoy. I hope they are.
I don't think so.
God bless those people.
Why?
They would do it, I think they called it shifting.
Where you'd lie, basically here's how you shift.
That is awesome.
Lie on the ground, close your eyes.
Imagine you're in Harry Potter.
Okay.
Baby, you're in Harry Potter.
Do you recommend?
Do you recommend?
You're just having to think?
Yeah, you have to think so hard,
you think you've gone to a different dimension
God bless him. I hope people out there going to the plumbing the death star shift into the plumbing the death star
Oh my god
It's my good friends Jackson and Dusha and Xamarin they yelling about dogs doing it normal style versus fucked up human style
Yeah, anyway Empire Records shut it down
Yeah, I go to record stores on the regular and Empire Records is extra annoying
That's a good question
If you were to be go to purchase a record from any of the Empire Records crew
Would you have would you leave the store pretty quickly or would you be with a purchase?
There's a couple of people that I think if I spoke to in Empire Records
I wouldn't immediately be like I gotta go. Yeah, I think if I got Lucas or Gina
I could probably have a regular interaction. Mm-hmm end of list. Mm-hmm. I reckon AJ I could kind of like
Borderline. Yeah borderline. Mm-hmm
I'm not going inside. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you've already got here comes the hot stepper on CD
What other song do I need dude?
What other song do I need? You're more fast than like Empire Records and Footahub's sign
That's like here comes a hot stepper 2 and you're like fuck
They made another one? Oh my god
This sequel to songs there?
Yeah damn celebrate hot stepper day
Hot stepper day
Happy hot stepper day everybody
Well on that note I've been Joe I've been Jackson Hot steppa day. Happy hot steppa day everybody. Murder up.
Well, on that note, I've been Joe.
I've been Jackson.
Shut Empire Records down!
The high fidelity store is better.
Those guys are cunts, but at least they know what they're talking about.
They're a different type of annoying.
They're regular record store guy annoying.
Anyway, Empire Records, not a good movie also.
Forgot to say that before too.
If you liked it, that's fine, but it sucks
Goodbye