Plumbing the Death Star - Is the Penguin the True Hero of Gotham?

Episode Date: February 9, 2015

In which our heroes take the monorail down to the seedy underbelly of Gotham, pay their respects at Crime Alley and watch Batman straight up clock a guy all the while wondering who exactly is the true hero of Gotham? Jackson derails the whole episode by stating that it’s the Penguin, Zammit encourages him and Duscher just doesn’t put up with any of his bullshit. We discuss: the hassle that would be working for the riddler, the definition of integrity, and Superman's evident disdain for Gotham. So strap a bomb to a penguin, stay away from the water supply and join the battle for Gotham supremacy as seen through the incredibly biased eyes of Jackson. Someone’s nose is gonna get bit off and it’s probably ours.Want to help fund Penguins retirement scheme? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in our henchman lives.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably seven books on penguin rearing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Saints Pants Radio, 50% effective. Hey, this episode is brought to you by Teleki and Benjamin Ladder. You guys fucking rule. Oh my god, kings. This one's for you. Hey guys, welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions- Is the penguin the true hero of Gotham?

Yes. Of Gotham, yes. That's not the episode we were planning for, Jackson. But hey! It's the episode that's happening. I'll allow it. Okay. So, where are you going with this on In Gotham The true hero

The true saviour The true King Of Gotham is Batman Oswald Cobblepot The glorious The illustrious penguin

You're a son of a bitch. How? Okay. Give me two reasons and I'll be happy. So, okay. We'll make it three. Three reasons. Three reasons.

He has more integrity than Batman. No, he doesn't. He's helping more people day to day than Batman. No, he's not. I don't think so. He's nicer than Batman. 100% not the case. Okay. More integrity.

Point by point here. Integrity. How does he have more integrity than Jackson? How does he have more integrity than you, Jackson? I'm not claiming he does. How does he have more integrity than Batman? The penguin is like... He cares about the little guy. And the penguin is a self-made man. The penguin wasn't, he cares about the little guy.

And the penguin is a self-made man. The penguin wasn't born into riches. But I have seen, I'm sure I've read comic books where someone has slaughtered his henchmen in front of the penguin and penguin don't give a shit. Penguin knows that it's rough on the streets of Gotham, Zammett. Sometimes a henchman's got to get slaughtered and there's nothing the penguin can do uh don't don't look me in the eyes amit and tell me that the penguin is not having a silent

midnight vigil for all henchmen lost in the battleground that is gotham he is joker's not joker don't give a fuck joker would get a guy to dress up like a clown and kill a guy then joker would kill the clown and be like, I'm the Joker. Mr. Freeze doesn't even get guys. The Penguin will shut the nightclub. He's going to shut the iceberg lounge for the night, gather all of the remaining henchmen and be like, let's have a silent vigil for Jessica,

because he knows their names. Joe Q. Scum. Joe Q. Scum. Joe Scum Q. Citizen. Rest in peace. What has Batman got? Batman doesn't even let people close to him. He's got Robin, but he treats him like shit.

He's got Nightwing, Robin, Damien. Yeah, but if somebody came up to... Alfred. To fucking the penguin. Barbara. Hey, penguin, can I give you a hand? Gordon was dad, Gordon. If Batman could do it alone, he would. If Batman could do it without any of these bozos, he would.

But the Penguin knows it's got to be a team effort. Like the death in the family one. Yeah, like... It's like, I'm going to keep everyone out of the loop, but it fucks everyone over. Exactly. That's Batman's fucking prerogative. Keep everyone out of the loop.

Penguin, he's like, hey guys, this is what we're planning. It's going to be real good. Okay, so you know what? I've been quiet for a bit. I've been taking in all the fucking bullshit you've been saying. And you know what? I will concede that

the Penguin is a better team player than Batman. Everything else you said, shut the fuck up. You've gotta remember He's a good team player, but he's a good leader though. Batman's a pretty good leader. I imagine if you work for the Joker, you're doing it out of fear. I imagine if you work for the Riddler, you're doing it

I don't know why the fuck you're working for the Riddler. Nobody works for the Riddler. Because you like word games. If you're working for the Mad Hatter, it's probably mind control. Why would you work for the Penguin? Exactly. Why would you work for the Penguin? People do. People do.

He pays them well. They get to chill in the nightclub. He doesn't ever send them on dangerous missions. Penguin's not doing like, Penguin's not like, hey, let's fucking explode a warehouse. Penguin's like, hey. Let's go poison a water supply.

Let's poison a water supply. That's one henchman. Just a little poisoning. He fucks off. Batman, and Penguin knows that Batman is coming for him. Batman is coming for Penguin time and time again. supply that's one henchman just a little poisoning he fucks off batman and penguin knows that batman is coming for him batman is coming for penguin time and time again he's leaving the henchman bay or he might break a leg but again it's the battlefield of gotham you gotta break a few

eggs if you want to run a successful nightclub penguin's not really using his henchmen as shields like say a joker would no or he's not getting them to do complicated things like mr freeze might were he to have henchmen oh riddler who oh my god i don't even know like oh my god i'd be such a fucking hassle he'd be like what you want me to do riddler some bullshit fucking riddle no what do you want me to do the time is, but how about me? Half an egg and boats at sea. You'd be like, Riddler. I don't even know what that means. For God's sake.

You want me to buy a boat? Have a chicken. No, no, I'm much smarter than you. That's why I'm a henchman. I understand this. Tiles with the question mark just lent up against a wall. Why isn't Batman like, oh, what? Come back later, Batman.

Is this? Just like some guy tied up. Like, I don't know what's happening. Gets out of the chair. Penguin, he'd be like, hey, this is the plan. Who's up for it? Okay, here's another thing, though. Because you were saying that Penguin,

you've just got the dumbest fucking look on your face and also a little hint of psychosis you're saying penguins good for gotham yes in his title it's like the penguin bad guy it's a penguin inherently evil, Dushan? No, but the Batman. Yeah. If a penguin is evil. The Robin. I would argue that if a penguin is evil, a Batman is evil. Not literally. I mean, like, he is a bad guy. He is a villain.

He's part of the villain, like the rogue of whatever the fuck. The rogues gallery? Yeah, that's the one. That's only because Batman keeps hassling his shit. I'm sure if Batman left him alone. Because he keeps fucking poisoning the water supply of Gotham. In later comics, Batman is just like, hey, Penguin, whatever, you are the best of the worst,

so let's just kick it, let's just chat. Where's Riddler? And Penguin's like, eh, I'll tell you. What is Penguin's main goal? Penguin's main goal is to run a nightclub. Dollar dollar bills, yo, yeah? Yeah, yeah, he wants money. I'm about to sneeze. Never mind.

Bless you far too many times. What the fuck? Little baby blue douche. That was like ten many times. What the fuck? A little baby book. That was like ten sneezes. Uh-huh. All right. So what is Penguin about? Dollar bills.

And killing citizens. No. Why is he poisoning the water supply then, Jackson? Why is he fucking poisoning the water supply? Why is he giving people penguin bombs? Haven't we all done some mistakes in our past? Penguin will never harm, he doesn't harm civilians. Have you met me? No. Never. You are a perfect individual,

I agree. Joel Dusha Ubermensch. Uber douche. The penguin only fights other rogues galleries. Other members of the rogues gallery. Does he? Yeah. Name me one time that penguin has gone out of his way to hurt just a guy. He bites off a lad's nose in Batman Returns.

What was that lad doing? He was a security guard, I'm pretty sure. Protecting a museum or something. That piece of shit. What a son of a bitch. The battleground that is Gotham, sometimes you have to make a statement. Sometimes you gotta bite a kid's nose. For a new nose with his bountiful mummy.

He teams up with Catwoman to steal shit and ruin people's days. He's after money, but whatever. No one gets that successful without stepping on a few heads, Dusha. Yeah. He's got integrity. The penguin believes in what he's doing. Well, what I just said, you saying integrity doesn't quite follow, Jack, but all right.

You've got to sacrifice your integrity to make it in this world. He's a man with integrity is what just happened. I would say he's consistent. He's a man with a moral code. Also the opposite of what Joel said. Well, he's got a moral compass. It's just a little bit not true north. Jackson, you've turned the one man that was agreeing with you against you in this episode.

You've attacked the wrong man. Much like the fucking penguin. You attack me, you're just confusing me more. Penguin is not the fucking hero that Gotham needs or deserves right now. Hey, it might be the hero Gotham deserves. Gotham's a piece of shit. Why does Batman fight crime? Daddy issues and mummy issues.

Mostly, yes, but when you look at it broader, it's because mama and papa Batman felt really strongly for Gotham and were like, no, it's a shithole, but we can lift it above and beyond this. And Batman's like, I'm going to do that. He wants to make Gotham He basically wants to make Gotham like Metropolis. Yeah. Leveled. Which is Gotham like Metropolis. Yeah.

Leveled. Which is pretty sad, let's be honest. The ideas of Metropolis before the... Does Superman come round to Gotham and is like, hmm, it's a bit dirty. Does he fly so he doesn't have to touch the ground? I would think so. I think it's one big, just like, big, he'd be like, just breath.

Could just like clean up a lot of that shit. Just all that grime just gone. But does he? No. No. Batman doesn't let any other superheroes that are outside the Bat family come down into Gotham. Everyone's happy to work with another couple people. I feel like Batman has never had an issue with people helping out in Gotham.

He doesn't like it. Really? Why would you? When? If you're on first name basis With Superman You're like Hey Clark Help me out here Hang on Would you never do that?

With Superman If you're calling him Clark Isn't that like Third name basis? Isn't that like The least personal? If you're going like Hey Cal

That's better Hey Cal Come down to Gotham Knock it out Sort some shit out Punch some bad guys Into the sun I think Batman

Is delusional. I think he thinks that he's got the ability to rise Gotham out of the ashes. He tries not to because in like 70 years, you'd think he'd have done something. I think the reason why he hasn't got Superman is because if he did, Gotham would have been risen out of that nothing but scum and villainy. Gotham would be a nice place and there would be no place for Batman.

But the Penguin understands that this is the state of Gotham. This is what Gotham is. Gotham will never be good. Mostly because there's a demon bat underneath Gotham, as comics have proven for some reason. Beware of that demon bat. I'm going to make things livable.

I'm not going to be a maniac and kill people for no reason. I'm not going to set up fucking crazy riddles. I'm not going to mind controlable. I'm not going to be a maniac and kill people for no reason. I'm not going to set up fucking crazy riddles. I'm not going to mind control people. I'm not going to freeze the town. You know, control your fate on the flip of a fucking coin. He's like, I'm going to open a legitimate nightclub that's a nice place for Gothamites to go and kick it. And occasionally, if you've got to do a sneaky waterhole poisoning,

whatever. Sometimes you've just got to do a sneaky waterhole poisoning. sometimes you just got to do a sneaky waterhole you're also leaving out the uh whole thing if he's like i'm gonna call myself the penguin i'm going to be penguin themed i'm going to give people penguin bombs that's not necessarily criminal yeah that's penguin bomb seems a little criminal batarang and i'm sure i'm sure there's been a time where batman has grabbed a bat and strapped a bat bomb on it and just went, I've gone too far with this theme. I think if you were in Gotham and you just were like,

man, I am a fan of shoes, you would eventually, over time, just become a shoe-themed supervillain. That's just the nature of Gotham. I think that's the demon bat that does it. Does Penguin really like penguins, or does he just sort of look like a penguin so they call him a penguin? It's sort of a chicken and egg scenario here.

He looked like a penguin. People called him Penguin. He also really liked penguins. Yeah, he's like, whatever. I might as well theme myself up to something. Or does he hate penguins? No, he quite likes penguins. Why does he blow them up then?

He doesn't blow them up. He puts bombs on them. When? Issue 17. Batman Returns. I feel like that paints a very bad portrayal of Anglin. That's just Batman propaganda. I feel like that film

might be Batman propaganda. What was my second point? Because I think I proved that one. What? He has integrity. He's not a good guy. He has integrity. He has no a good guy. He has integrity. He has no integrity. What was my next one? Your next point was something equally dumb.

It was like, he's... Your fucking eyes. They're looking straight through my skull. I hate it. Oh, man. I kind of... I had your back here. I was going to be like, here's the second...

Now I fucking forgot it because of your dumb head. He's nicer than Batman. That was my to be like, here's the second. Now I fucking forgot it because you're a dumb head. He's nicer than Batman. That was my third point. He's a better guy. Imagine you are going out. Wasn't something to do about business? Oh, he runs his business better than Batman does. That might not have been my second point, but it is now.

He's a better businessman. End of the day. I can't even argue with that because, yeah, yeah, he is. Batman's just like, fuck my company. I'm going to fly a plane. Batman's just like, fuck my company, I'm going to fly a plane. Batman's just like, embezzling everything. Exactly. Penguin's like, hey, look, I'm going to make this pretty legitimate.

I'll do crime because it's Gotham and if you want to make any difference, you've got to. So you're all sort of like Team Mafia. I am a little bit Team Mafia. Well, Team Mafia in Gotham, it's just you make do with what you've got. You have to. Like you take a little trip down to Little Sicily and there's a fucking Mafia. Well, Team Mafia, you're in Gotham. It's just you make do with what you got. You have to. Like you take a little trip down to Little Sicily and there's a fucking Mafia family. You're like, hey, the streets might be a little unsafe because of this,

but I'm into it. You've got a legitimate business. Well, it's not so. It's just like you're pretty good. Pretty good. Well done. I like it. It's nice.

Can I have a coffee? I feel like if Penguin was doing what Batman was doing, he'd do a better job. Why isn't he then? What do you mean? Why is he not doing a better job? Because he knows that what Batman's doing is fruitless. Putting criminals in jail, not really that fruitless.

Putting criminals in fucking Arkham Asylum. That is very fruitless. Shuffling out of fucking that evening. I'm pretty sure as he's putting, he's like a punch j Joker in the face, caught him he's like plonking you in Arkham there's Two-Face and Scarecrow just like chuffing off down the back Batman drops him off in the morning

and by the evening Arkham has exploded in everyone's eyes it's sort of basically a one in one out policy sometimes a one in three out policy exactly I like to imagine batman literally carries in like the joker who's unconscious and as the door opens like scarecrow and fucking the riddler just walk out past him like see him oh you son of a bitch i can't drop the joker though

because my hands are full and just send me one of those weird riddles again I'll get you soon. I'll sort that shit out. Is the answer me? No. Is the answer you? Is the answer there's water? The poisoned water? Damn it! Why are they always the answers, Riddler? You son of a

bitch. A lot of villains seem to poison that water. I'm Batman. What even water supply does nothing about the sea also yeah like treatment plants shouldn't be that easy in fucking comic books and that it's just like a dam but like just like a pond it's it's a big ass fucking pipe with it's been cracked open a little yeah exactly what if it like that's just really easy like what if you just like a shitty super villain that's just like i'm to take a shit in there. Yeah. Batman clocks you.

I think Batman would do more good if he was just having a constant vigil on the water supply. Batman's just like, Robert, I have a new job for you. Fuck working in the city. You're just staying at this water supply and you call the cops if anyone comes by. Robin. He just enjoys doing that, the Batman voice. But okay, I want you to imagine a scenario, okay?

You're a thug, right? But you've just been a thug for hire. Yeah. Right? You're a delusional thug. But you've just been a thug for hire and then you're like, you know what? It's about time I joined a crew. All right.

Whose crew would you join? Honestly. Batman's. Obviously. you're like, you know what, it's about time I joined a crew alright, whose crew would you join? honestly Batman's, obviously Batman is like, I don't need any help and he pushes you off a building crime doesn't pay Batman why? stop doing my voice

no, let me join your team fuck off you'd be like a fucker in hockey gear yeah, yeah I am Batman and then Batman would come in in The Dark Knight. You'd be like a fucker in like hockey gear. Yeah, yeah. And he'd go to those idiots and he's like, I am Batman. Ah!

And then, and Batman would come in and he's like, I'm not wearing hockey pads. And then tape you up and you'd be like right next to the scarecrow being like,

I just want to be Batman. Exactly. And the scarecrow's like, you fucked up, didn't you kid? Yes, I did. Can you stop doing that voice now? I really can't.

I don't wanna. This is so much fun. I don't know if I can go back. I've come too far. What's Maxie Zeus like? Because he's a similar thing. Maxie Zeus. He's a crazy guy who thinks he's Zeus.

But he's insane, Zammett. He's properly insane. I'm going to join Solomon Grundy's crew. Solomon Grundy is living in the sewers. And you'll be like, can I join your crew? And he'll be like, Solomon Grundy, born on a Monday. Then he'll eat you. Maxie you'll be like, can I join your crew? And he'll be like, Solomon Grundy born on a Monday. Then he'll eat you. Maxie Seuss will be like, welcome!

And then he'll be like, and you'll be like, what are we doing, Maxie? He's like, electrocuting me more! Ra's al Ghul? Ra's al Ghul has no time for your shit. He's like, are you part of the Order of Owls or whatever the fuck it is? You'd be like, no.

He'd be like, fuck right off. Shadow something? Shadow side of society? League of Shadows? You part of the League of Shadows? Are you part of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? Are you Sean Connery? Can I train to be?

No. Please go home. I'm sorry, Raz. With those arms? I don't think so. Can I have a dip in the Lazarus pit, please? Oh my god, I can't believe you just said that. Get out. Get out.

I'm sorry, Riddler. Get out! Get out! Can I have an autograph? As you're leaving, Penguin's like, Hey, buddy. How you doing? I see you've been going around. I'm going to join the Riddler. I'm all about the Riddler all of a sudden. Oh, that's going to be a hassle.

That's such a hassle. No, I feel like it would just break me enough that I'll just be like, sick. Riddles. I fucking understand all of it. It'd just be like a fucking dumb riddle. The answer's behind the fucking watchtower. I don't even care.

It'd be like, I'll put it there anyway. It was three and now it's six. What is nine? Pick up sticks. I'll be like, it's fucking Batman. I understand. Of course I get that. It's always Batman, the Riddler, or the water supply.

Or it's, I'm standing on the watchtower come fucking fight me batman is the answer it's so it's so simple i understand does the riddler just start just texting batman it's like this is where i am i'm done with the no riddler i i'm trying to work out a way that's not the penguin is the right answer, but I'm trying to work out through his rogue gallery. No, don't give us the finger, you piece of shit. No, no, I'm just being Christ-like. Oh, okay, no. Holding my arms out because I know I'm so right.

Batman is the answer. No. You cannot join Batman's team. I'd be like, I want to join Batman's team. He'd punch me in the face. He would try and punch you in. At the very least, he'd be like, I want to join Batman's team. He'd punch me in the face, arrest me. He would try and punch you in. At the very least, he'd be like, sorry, I work alone.

And then he'd leave. Yeah, but that doesn't... The only way I could join Batman's crew is if I orchestrated somehow... To kill your parents. To kill my parents. Yeah. And have Bruce Wayne see. Yeah, and have Bruce Wayne see in some sort of acrobatic, like, mishap.

He would take pity and adopt me, but because he's the world's greatest detective, he'd find out that I did it and then he'd arrest me and punch me in the face. There is no feasible way for me to join Batman. So say Samet joins Penguin because it's clearly the right answer. It is clearly the right answer. Okay, here's a scenario.

Joker attacks, separate times, but he attacks Riddler's HQ and the Iceberg Lounge. You get your legs broke. No, I wouldn't. Joker would try, would think about breaking into the Riddler's thing and be like, you know what?

I might be nuts, but I just do not have time for this shit. And then he'd come fucking find you because you're like a legitimate bad guy, like good guy, bad guy, bad guy, good guy, a shit guy, but all right. And I'd be like, Zamit, hey, thanks for joining the team, by the way.

Thanks, Penguin. How was the Christmas ham? It was so delightful. Great. Thank you for the presents. Is that the sound of Joker gas? You're so lovely, Penguin. Joker's coming.

I'm just wondering if you could, if you feel up to it, chew up on outside and just see if you can take him down. He's a Joker. He's probably going to gas us. Well, look, here's a penguin themed rifle. A penguin themed little metal bomb with a wick on top.

See what you do. I'll give you a gas mask. If I die, are you going to look after my family? Absolutely. That is the penguin promise. Penguin, you are so beautiful thank you do what I can

before I go and meet my inevitable death can you give me a hug and he'd bring you into his big warm fin like embrace and bite off your fucking nose anyway no he never would way to ruin a fucking perfectly good moment

Between me and the fucking penguin Well look let's talk about moments And then because of my honour for the penguin And again because of penguin's integrity And looking after my family When I'm dead and gone I would take one for the team You guys are very into this

And I'm about ready to kill myself So look I'll join in on the fun poor riddler he's like where's my henchman doucher he's oh he's dead i'll join in on the fun i'll be like all right i didn't pick the red light i picked team penguin give me the the joke is coming try try and get me to convince me hey champ yep what's up man thanks for joining again no worries man um did you enjoy the fruit basket i overheard one of the other henchmen saying that you really like pineapple, so I put a bit of pineapple in there for you. Yeah, no, I appreciated it, man.

Thanks. It's a little creepy as a boss to just be listening in on our conversations. I just overheard it. No, no, no, it's fine. Look, I didn't take it to heart, but just be careful about it, because PR will be all over you. Don't make it weird, douche. Who's this fucking guy?

He's just another henchman. His name's Joel Zammett. He's a lovely guy. Me and the boss are talking. It's kind of weird for you to be listening in on our private conversations Penguin, he's being very rude Well look, I don't know What can I do to make your work experience better? This should be a private conversation

Would you like to go into my office? Sorry, we'll be just a moment I'll go outside and defend this from the Joker Rest in peace, man Is there a problem? Well, not really It will be just a moment. I'll go outside and defend this from the Joker. Thank you. Rest in peace, man. Is there a problem? Well, I'm just... Not really. I just feel like the way you run your business is a little creepy.

Like, how so? You're... All right, look. I just really want to look after my henchmen, because I know it's a rough life out there in Gotham, and I want to be able to give you the best kind of experience you can. I want to give you a stable job. And I know it's hard to find proper work in Gotham. I understand that.

I pulled myself out from the rags. What were you about to ask me to do before I brought this up? The joke is coming and he's attacking the lounge. About that, finding a job might be hard, but I've been here for about 20 minutes

and I'm about to die. If you're not into it, that's fine. You can leave at any time of your life. Well, I can't leave now. I mean, because Joker's literally outside the Asperg Lounge. I'm a little curious as to why you signed up to be a henchman. Did you not expect this? Well, I didn't expect to be fighting Joker on my first day, to be honest.

And I'd only heard nice things because that guy, Joel Zabit, he's outside the door. I can fucking see you. No, I'm pretty sure I'm dead. I can see his limp corpse. I don't know if you're aware. With a giant grin. I don't know if you're aware. I'm glad this office has a window

but if you look out there, all your henchmen are dead. I kind of just saved your life. The ones that stayed in fort. Yeah, I mean, the ones that stayed in fort. Like I said, you're welcome to leave. You are taking this death very... And again, as a ghost here, he's providing good incentives for me to go and fight.

You're going to fight again as a ghost? No, absolutely. The penguin's ghost on me. But speaking from beyond the grave, the penguin is looking after my family now. Yeah. I will support his family. He made a noble sacrifice for the penguin in the battleground that is Waffle.

Look, I'm going to be honest. I regret this job. I just... I don't think that's a bit on you, though. I don't think henchmaning is your bag. That's maybe not your career. Would you like to just work in the lounge as a bartender? I'd be dead also, because the lounge just got gassed. Hey, that's a risk

of pretty much anywhere in God's name. That's a joke that's not on Unless you work at a tiny little private butcher and even then. Do you think there's a crocodile man in the sewer? Would you rather work for the guy who might just shoot you to make a point? Well, what about the fact

that I saw you bite off a man's nose. Batman propaganda. One time. There's also a demon bat living under the city, so I sort of know what I'm in for. But I did work for the Riddler for two weeks, didn't see anything. I understand riddles way better now. I feel like I've learnt

something. I feel like I came into that job more fruitful. It's Batman on the Riddler. Look, try me with a riddle. Just anything. I'm not that good at riddles. I feel like I came into that job more fruitful. Batman on the riddle. Look, try me with a riddle. Just anything. I'm not that good at riddles. I'm better at penguins and running nightclubs. See, the answer to that riddle is Batman. Okay. Alright.

But look, feel free to leave. I think Batman's taking care of the Joker. Oh, okay, good. I might just stroll out and... Alright. Take the gift basket with you. Okay. Alright. Hey. Maybe this job wasn't just stroll out and take the gift basket with you alright hey maybe this job wasn't

moving you seem like an alright guy penguin oh god batman put down the gift basket no I don't even batman no no no it wasn't an explosive gift basket I can see how you'd make that mistake, Batman.

Penguin, why? I think I've proved pretty well that maybe Penguin isn't the hero Gotham, for Gotham. Maybe he's not a hero. Maybe he's the best villain. The best villain to work with. Shut the fuck up, douche. Maybe that's the point you're trying to make.

He's not the hero of Gotham, because maybe Gotham doesn't need heroes. Maybe what Gotham needs is people to invest in Gotham. What Gotham truly is. I'm not on board. To put his time and effort into making a shithole just that little bit more livable. Not going out and punching crooks because those crooks, that's the population of Gotham.

And on that note i've been jackson fuck you there's no way the episode ends there i've been jackson well i've been joel and i have so many more issues with your fucking thing but hey i guess this is how it's ending you piece of shit i'm i'm fin joel and like solid no gotham needs a fucking hero it needs batman it doesn't need penguin penguin owns a fucking lounge that's it a fucking lounge oh shit i opened a fucking bar and now i fucking have fucking henchmen working for me they look after that's sweet and everything, but that's like 50 people max. Who gives a shit?

The patrons of the nightclub. Shut the fuck up. Batman literally goes out of his way to fight crime and make the city livable for everyone. Penguin just fucking sits in his fucking lounge and is like, hey, do you want a fucking drink? Fuck Penguin. I think as I've proved very eloquently, the people Batman is going and fighting are the people in Gotham.

As we have established in previous episodes, what is Gotham made up of? The wealthy elite and scum. Now, the wealthy elite is the minority. The scum is the majority. And Penguin is looking after the scum. Batman is killing the scum. And also, the Penguin, because he's working with the scum and villainy,

is becoming more wealthy and elite, and he's the bridge of the gap between the scum and villainy and the elite. I fucking hate... Penguin with a champ! Penguin is the king. Dusha can suck a dick. I'm going to murder both of you the moment the mics turn off. Worth it.

Yeah! To me, you're like a gold addiction that I've never liked. Worth it. Yeah! If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sandspantsradio.com.