Plumbing the Death Star - Munchkins and the Wizard of Oz
Episode Date: May 27, 2014In which our heroes click their ruby slippers together 3 times and uncover the true conspiracy connecting the munchkins and Glenda the Good Witch with the murder of the Wicked Witches and the ultimate... downfall of the Wizard of Oz. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Sandspence Radio, unshaved and ready for action.
Hey guys, welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like,
are the Munchkins the true villains of The Wizard of Oz?
We thank you very sweetly for doing it so neatly.
You've killed us so completely that we thank you very sweetly.
Let the joyous news be spread.
The wicked old witch at last is dead.
I was watching The Wizard of Oz recently,
trying to see if that munchkin hang himself was in the background.
He's not.
It's a flamingo.
It's a fucking bird.
Yeah, it was a bird in the end.
Everyone in 1939, you fucking idiots. Yeah, it was a bird in the end. Everyone in 1939, you fucking idiots.
Well, it was fuzzy back then.
It was in a bad resolution.
1939 was a fuzzy year.
Well, it was hard to see.
If you were looking for dead munchkins in the background of films,
it was hard to pick them out.
But no, there are two things about that movie that really confuse me, and I didn't quite understand.
Okay.
So when Dorothy lands in Oz,
she crushes the Wicked Witch of the East, is it?
Or is it the West?
No, it's the East.
East, right?
So she crushes the Wicked Witch of the East.
And all the munchkins are fucking overjoyed.
They love it.
Yeah, they're really happy.
They sing, ding dong, the witch is dead.
One of them's like, oh, we thank you so sweetly.
You killed her
so discreetly she's dead completely or whatever right like they go on about it they must have
like that's a lot of planning about that one song that really got into it well they were ready they
were ready someday the witch is gonna die we're gonna everyone's need to know your roles but my
question is why were they so happy?
Why are the munchkins so pleased that the witch is dead?
Well, I don't know.
Because, again, the witch has no power in the munchkin village.
That's right. When the wicked witch lands, the green one,
she's like, oh, I'd love to fucking murder you munchkins and slaughter you.
She does murder a few of them because she's able to get in there. That's true. When she lands and there's all the red smoke, a lot die.
But when she's there, so they can teleport in, but they can't do anything while they're there.
So it's not like she's ever been in Munchkin land fucking up the Munchkins.
Yeah, but I think the reason they're happy is because the Wicked Witch of the East, as her name implies, is the fucking Wicked Witch.
Yeah, well, that's just a name, man.
What's in a name? What's in a name?
It's because I'm calling you
a dick. Look, it's
dickhead douche.
You're like, hey douche.
People will be like, oh, he must be a dickhead.
You called him one, so
I'm led to believe. That's just propaganda.
That's what that is. But even the Wicked Witch of the
West refers to her as the Wicked Witch of the East.
Well, maybe it's a title for witches.
Maybe it's like...
But wicked is a word.
Maybe they mean wicked the same way people did in the 90s.
Yeah, yeah.
She's the Wicked Witch!
Oh, fucking hell.
No, but that's like saying...
Okay, so we'll go with dickhead doucher, because for some reason that sounds...
No, we'll go with ballsack bailey.
Okay.
a dickhead douche because for some reason that sounds we'll go with ballsack bailey okay so if you're like mr ballsack bailey and that's your title then people like
what he fucked up words like ballsack is not an endearing term yeah it's not either but if
everybody calls me ballsack bailey and then somebody meets me and they realize that i'm not
a ballsack um i'll be like oh that's a cruel name the wicked witch of the east nor west do anything to prove that they're not wicked well they don't do anything
to prove they are wicked you just said that they murdered fucking munchkins but that was like a
byproduct of her teleportation ah like a red mist comes everywhere and all of the muppets the
muppets the munchkins are like and die well they could just like passed out yeah it could be a
fear response it could be she's playing possum. Oh, okay.
So it's a fear response. So obviously she's fucking
frightening if they're just being like, I'm so
scared I died. Well, maybe
they're just afraid of her hair, the way she looks, because
she's green. Also, like, her sister just
died, so they're like, oh, she's gonna be in a tiff. Yeah.
And we just, we totally just sung a song
and then we're glad that she's dead. Like, did she hear?
That wasn't nice. That would be awkward if she
did hear that. We should play dead, everyone.
So that's an issue for me, right?
Okay.
I feel like it's not an issue, but carry on.
So the Munchkins, yes.
The Munchkins are way too happy that the witch dies.
And then at the very end of the film, right,
when everything's sorted and Dorothy's, like, leaving,
the wizard, who previously was to presumably everybody in oz like i am a giant head
yes don't fuck with me because i'm a terrifying powerful wizard direct quote from the film that
you're talking about fear there's fear right he's terrifying everybody's scared of the wizard but at
the end he just comes out and he's like hey everyone i'm just an old man sorry i'm lying
and i'm going and uh i'm leaving in a hot air balloon.
I never gave you guys hot air balloons.
I knew how to make them, but we don't have them.
No air travel in the Emerald City.
And the Scarecrow's in charge.
Just cause.
And the Tin Man.
These three, who you've never met before as a people,
in charge.
And then he goes.
And, oddly enough,
when Dorothy, because Toto runs away away because he's a fucking dog and dogs like they they are notorious for not liking air travel yeah like i was gonna say
it's probably really scary for a dog uh and for like dorothy as well who was raised in like 1920s
kansas and is probably like fucking flight um, that's a thing.
So Toto runs away and Dorothy chases him, right?
And the wizard's like, oh, I'm leaving in the hot air balloon.
Dorothy's like, don't go.
And the tin man unwraps like the cable keeping the hot air balloon down and just lets him float away.
Yeah, and he does it so sneakily as well.
He's like, oh, no, it's going.
Oh, dear, Dorothy.
So that's my question.
Why did either of those things happen?
Here's my theory.
Shoot.
I think that there is war.
There is war brewing in the kingdom of Oz.
And it is to do with the Munchkins versus the people of Emerald City.
Because you see them, both of them,
and they both have armies.
Yeah, I was going to say, that makes a lot of sense.
In the Munchkin land,
the soldiers come out and there's a guy in a carriage
and they've all got wacky fucking Oz rifles and stuff.
And the Emerald City people, at the end,
are in army uniforms as well.
In fact, one guy has like a Napoleon-style hat.
So, Arik, what's happening?
Is there is a war that's sort of brewing between new land, you would assume?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, yeah.
I mean, that makes sense.
So, Arik, what's happening is the Munchkins,
they want to sort of encroach on Emerald City's land.
They're running out of resources.
So they need to sort of expand out.
But the problem is whenever they try and the witch fucks shit up,
because, again, she's seen as this sort of powerful thing, right?
Okay.
But she has no power in Munchkinland.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So they're like, oh, don't fucking leave Munchkinland.
You'll get set on fire.
We need more land for villages.
Our population's rising.
I bet they breed like rabbits.
They would have to.
Oh, God. Little, little,
really fast, monstrosity.
And the Emerald City is a fortress city.
Yeah, it is. At the start,
they're not allowed in. It's a castle.
It's a giant fortress. Until they knock. But they're still...
It's true. They're not allowed into the Emerald City.
But he's built a wall. A wall.
He's built, like, you know, a giant fortress. He's sort of
prepared there for something happening.
So what I reckon is going on is that the Lollipop Guild.
Okay.
Or at least some sort of sect of...
What about the Lullaby League?
And the Lullaby League.
All the munchkins are checking in on this.
They need to dispose of Oz.
Sorry, the wizard.
The wizard.
The wizard.
All right.
And they do this by employing Glenda the Good Witch. The wizard. Alright. And they do this by employing
Glenda the Good Witch.
I'm going to just interrupt with my insane theory
about why potentially Munchkins and Emerald City
have armies.
Because there's two fucking wicked witches
living in the area.
But why have an army if the wicked witch is going to land
and be like, I can't actually do anything here.
Also, have you noticed that fucking Munchkin place
is in the south?
Under the rule of Glenda, I believe.
Are you sure they're under her rule?
Well, they're not under her rule, but I believe she is the witch of their area.
Okay, so, well, every
area is designated a witch,
and it's just like, what luck of the draw?
Whether you get a wicked or a good one?
No, no, no, because east and west, if you're in the south
of Munchkinland, Emerald City has
fucking the wizard. He's north. He's not the South, it's Munchkinland. Emerald City has fucking... The wizard.
He's North.
No, he's not a witch.
He's a wizard.
He's not even a wizard.
Fucking magical beings.
No, three magical beings and a cunt.
Are you happy?
Yes.
I always assumed that, like...
You assumed wrong.
Let me finish my fucking theory.
Okay.
Alright, so...
Yes, Munchkinland, there's... The witch doesn't have any power because of my fucking theory. Okay. All right. So, yes, Munchkinland,
the witch doesn't have any power
because of a fucking barrier.
Yeah, like a magic.
Like a magic barrier that Glenda has put up
to protect her peoples.
I thought it was just a natural thing.
What, like?
What?
Like, was it a natural thing,
like magic has no power here sort of thing?
Well, like, you want to build our little Munchkinland
on this area because we can't use magic here? I think the Munchkins are smart about that. They're like they were like, oh, do you want to build our little Munchkin land on this area because we can't use magic here?
I think the Munchkins are smart about that. They're like,
yes, we do, because magic can't penetrate
this area. Well, that is wise.
Yes.
Yeah, so that would explain... Oh, wait.
No, that doesn't make... Fucking hell, I just
fucked my own theory. Go on. Because Wicked Witch of
the East dies right near Munchkin.
Yeah, she's in Munchkin land.
When the house falls on her. Why was she in munchkin land when the house falls on her so
why was she in munchkin land this i reckon okay so because she's fucking evil and she was just
being a bitch that's also true but but there's no no she's not being a bitch what's happened is
it's it's so the munchkins want to invade that's what they want to do they want to invade so what
they're gonna they'll hire glenn of the good the Good Witch to help us out with these sort of problems.
Because, again, I think we need to get rid of the wizard.
And we need to get rid of the two witches as well.
Because they're impeding our armies, whereas you have been pretty good to us.
So we are employing you to help us get rid of this problem.
So she's like, all right, I've got an idea.
I'm going to summon a house.
Yeah, yeah.
She's like, I'll summon a house with somebody inside,
like a little naive, retard farm girl.
Yep.
Right?
And she drops the house on the witch.
Witch dies.
Dorothy comes out, and she's like, oh, Dorothy.
Oh, you killed that witch.
Oh, you bitch.
You're in such trouble now.
Look at you.
You should go see the great and powerful wizard.
Send her on a journey.
And when they send her on a journey, they're like, look, follow this yellow brick road.
And there is actually two roads.
There's a red one and a yellow one.
Yeah, they're not like, follow the red one.
They're like, follow the yellow brick road.
They sing a whole song about it.
So that she actually meets this scarecrow
the tin man
and the lion
because they're all
they're all in on it
they all need to dispose
of the wizard
because
I mean look at the
look at the scarecrow
he's a scarecrow
on a munchkin farm
clearly been built
by munchkins
and they have to get
everyone on side
they can't be like
alright Dorothy
here's your people
they're gonna help you out
destroy things
they need to make it
believable. It's a
ragtag group that they're standing up with.
Yeah, you're right. He's got to be Munchkin made.
He's in a Munchkin field. Exactly. And he's like,
oh, look how stupid you are. Because someone was
like, oh, person, Dorothy, help
me out. I'm really stupid. She's not
going to be threatened. She's like, oh, you're so stupid.
Come with me. You'll be fine.
He's like a mask man the whole damn thing. He's like up on a thing as well. So she's helping him down. She's like, oh, you're so stupid. Come with me, you'll be fine. He's like a mask man the whole damn thing.
He's up on a thing as well.
She's helping him down. She's already being like,
oh, now I'm feeling all good about you,
scarecrow, because I helped you out.
We're bros and shit.
Yeah, exactly.
Alright, again, I'm just going to interrupt with another fucking
insane theory here.
Maybe the Munchkins were just happy
that she killed the Wicked Witch of the East,
so they sent her on the Yellow Brick Road because that's the one that leads to fucking
Oz to help her get
home. And if Glinda
didn't want to... Shut the fuck
up for a second, Joel. If Glinda didn't
want Dorothy to succeed,
why'd she give her the ruby slippers, which clearly have
strong power?
Because if
Glinda could have just said, hey, Dorothy, just
click your heels together and say, I want you to go home.
You can go home right now. But she doesn't.
It's insurance, Dusha. She's like, fucking
go over here and basically
kill this wizard so we're fine.
And hopefully you can kill
the Witch of the West as well.
Because really, everything could have been solved like that
if Glenda was honest.
If it was just about getting Dorothy home,
if that's the only thing she needed,
all she'd have to do is be like, click your heels.
Because I'm pretty sure it's not even Glinda that puts the heels on her.
I'm pretty sure the Wicked Witch of the West, the green one,
she lands and she's like, oh, my dead sister's slippers.
Fucking, I can take them as a memento.
She goes to grab them the
legs were like yeah and then the suddenly they're already on so maybe it was like the last like the
dying um uh kind of like the act of the wicked witch of the east like give the slippers the one
who needs it the most can we just take a moment here to talk about the fact that they're not slippers? No, they're straight up shoes.
Heels?
It's fine.
Okay.
Nobody ever changed that?
Nobody in filming was like,
Do you guys know what slippers are?
Yeah, it's a shoe you wear with a heel.
Right?
No, they're called fucking slippers because they're no laces.
You just slip them on.
Shut up.
Wouldn't they be slip-ons?
No.
Okay, so what's happening,
they're going to the wizard
and they're basically like,
we're going to pretty much take you off
from your kingdom of your throne.
Yeah, because they arrive and they're like,
hey, wizard, we need these things.
No, no, no.
They're coming and it's like, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't let him in.
And the Emerald City people,
the people of the Emerald City, they're kind of stupid.
So they're like, oh, they asked for you.
No, no, we've got rules. You have to knock.
So then she knocks.
You're like, oh, I guess
you can come in now.
Because they're idiots.
So they let her in.
Because she has the ruby slippers, they let her. Because they're idiots. Because she has the ruby slippers they let her in.
So the wizard clearly knows...
What, so the wizard clearly
knows Glinda or the witches?
Yes! So what, they think she's a witch?
Why let her in, then?
No, she's being sent from Glinda.
So the wizard knows Glinda? Probably, yes.
They probably know of each other.
But I would say if, as you're saying, Glinda is in charge of Munchkinland and that whole area in the south,
then they're probably opposing, right?
Not necessarily.
It's not Game of Thrones.
It is.
It's all Game of Thrones.
God, I hate that show.
It's not a unified Oz show.
Exactly.
Everyone, they're opposing factions, and that's why they're at war.
That's why you have the Munchkins are fighting the Emerald City people,
and you've got the monkeys involved.
They're going to fight people.
So you have this...
Fast forward to the end here.
It's almost like precursor to war.
And skip to the end.
When Dorothy's leaving with Oz, like, the wizard,
you notice that not only are Munchkins there,
but some are fucking Emerald City people,
because they're not at war!
No, no, because by the end of the film,
the munchkins have won.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
The end of the film, the munchkins have won.
Okay?
So the munchkins,
they're trying to get the scarecrow,
the tin man, and the lion in power, right?
Yes.
In power at Oz.
That's what happened at the Emerald City.
That's what happens at the end of the film.
Dusha, the scarecrow is a straw man. That's what happens at the Emerald City. That's what happens at the end of the film. Dusha, the scarecrow
is a straw man.
He's a straw man.
It's all a munchkin ploy.
It's a munchkin ploy
because they want to get rid
of Oz.
So that's why Tin Man's like,
oh, look,
Oz is fucking off.
Because at that moment in time,
Dorothy being there
is inconsequential.
No one gives a shit.
It's like,
fucking who gives a crap?
We need to get rid of Oz.
That's his name, right?
Oz?
The Wizard of Oz
That's why I assume he ruled over
The place has his name
I guess he's the wizard of the county
But no going back to when they first arrive
And they're like hey wizard
I need a heart he needs a brain
He needs some courage he needs to get home
The wizard is panicking right?
He's freaking out because they're coming in there being like,
hey, wizard, help us out.
You're a grand and powerful wizard.
Give us stuff.
Obviously, the people of the Emerald City and the Munchkins
have at this point maybe realized that the wizard...
Yeah, definitely the Emerald...
See, people at the Emerald City definitely realize
that the wizard is not what he is.
Surely if you had a wizard and it was like a bad crop season,
you'd be like, can you?
And he'd be like, oh!
Also, when he's revealed, like, I'm a human
and all the emeralds are like,
I mean, so people are like, yeah, we know.
Yeah, that's fine.
Don't stress about it, buddy.
Whatever.
So he's like, I'm going to be found out here.
Also, I mean, he does rule as a giant face.
And he does, like, theatrics and fear.
I mean, there's a big fear thing going on.
I think he's pretty impressive.
I'd be scared.
I think as a ruler ruler i reckon he is
quite oppressive that's where they're like all right all right happy when the emerald city kind
of happy when he fucks off yeah okay so let's let's let's do this right you two are people in
the emerald city okay i'll be oz the great and powerful the giant face now you're just coming in
because there's like a zoning issue you want to build like i don't know a factory making candy
canes but there's a zoning zoning issue and you're just coming in
to sort it with your leader.
Wizard?
Hi. Yes!
Oh!
I want to build a
factory and there seems to be a bit of a zoning
issue. Why?
Because I really want to help out
and build some more candy canes. We have enough candy canes! Do we though? Because I really want to help out and build some more candy canes.
We have enough candy canes!
Do we, though? Because I've done some market research
and I think there's time now.
The people of the Umbrone City don't want candy canes.
No, not the people of the Umbrone City.
We could export.
No trade.
Okay, great, powerful wizard, I'm so sorry.
That worked pretty well for me
as I got what I wanted.
There's no zoning issue for me.
You just told him to go fuck himself.
I'm so scared, I wet myself.
I'm erect, I'm not happy.
Oz is a pretty rad leader.
Good.
So you end up with your, I don't know, whatever you wanted to manufacture.
Yeah, my zoning.
Whatever zoning issue I was opposed to, I stayed opposed.
Came out in your
favor but tell me you wouldn't piss your pants going you'd be like i have like it's like a minor
issue but just because of the bureaucracy i have to go and chat to the wizard okay well oh it's
gonna be terrifying that's the same fucking thing like imagine if you had to go to like the prime
minister i'd be like if i had to go to kevin rod kevin rod prime minister i would be like
hey kevin no you wouldn't fuck off well i know that kevin rod isn't a giant terrifying magic
floating head he's just a dude like okay what about what about if like saddam hussein was still
the leader of iraq and you were iraqi and you had to go speak to him about some petty bullshit. Well, I would be
like, at the very most here, I will
get shot, right? Like,
at the very worst here, Saddam
shoots me. No, no.
He does worse than that.
But with that, you're like, he's a magic
flying head. I don't know what
will happen to me. This feels
like it's such a minor issue, so far
below him. Yeah. Either way. It's different a minor issue, so far below him. Yeah.
Either way. It's different.
Either way, I think we can all agree that the people
of Emerald City are, and probably the rest of
Oz, are quite terrified of the
wizard just because of what they know of him.
Unless, of course, they are internet, which I do think
the Emerald City are, because at the very end, everyone
seems to be quite chilled that, you know,
he's just a human being. That's not a problem.
He's still scared that they're going to reveal him.
I mean, that's why he sends them off to fight the Wicked Witch,
so that she'll kill them, presumably.
Exactly, which I think why the Wizard, sorry, and the Wicked Witch
are definitely in cahoots, because it's going to be like,
oh, God, these people are going to try and, you know,
get rid of me off my throne.
I can't deal with this.
Go get the Wizard's broom.
It'll be fine
they fuck off
he's like quickly
beep beep beep
on like you know
Wizard of Oz style phone
we're like hey
yeah
Wicked Witch of the West
can you just kill these guys
for me
cheers
they're coming along
kill them
and she's like
no worries
I can kill them
it's fine
and because a munchkin
conspiracy is sort of
everywhere
to try and make a unified Oz.
Okay, yeah.
They've probably got some little, like, you know,
cows in the West who are like,
you know what a weakness is?
Fucking water.
We're just going to put water everywhere.
We're just going to get little buckets of water.
Because what the fuck is that bucket of water
even doing there in the first place?
Are they cleaning the floors?
Why would you clean the floors with water
in a castle inhabited by
a witch? Who is allergic
very allergic to water. Literally melt
if water touches her.
If I was like, if, that's like
Superman being like, you know what really
cleans my fucking cape really well?
Kryptonite.
So I'm not going to do it, I'll get Lois Lane to do it
but it's cool to have it in the house.
Yeah, it's fine.
It's so stupid.
It's obviously being...
What about bleach, though, for humans?
Bleach is bad for you.
Yeah, but if a little bit of bleach gets on my hand,
I don't melt.
No, it's not the end for Sal.
It's fine.
It's like, oh, that stings a little.
That's a shame.
I guess I'll wash it.
Or it's like, oh, I got it on my pants.
Now I've got a white spot.
God, golly gosh.
Oh!
God!
It's sort of like, you know, what?
Keeping lava on
hand? Lava will clean this.
Oh, it got me and now I'm
dissolving. Just leave a bucket of lava there.
Clever. Yeah.
Not very. Not very clever.
So somebody within the witch's ranks Is obviously leaving them about for some reason
She's shocked
When the water hits on her she's like
Where did that come from
Ah shit
Again a direct quote from the film
Ah shit
Then she melts and she's gone
And so then they go back to the wizard
And he's like oh fuck you've killed her
She was my last
ditch effort. I am out
of here before they kill me. If I don't leave now,
I'll probably be assassinated. That lion is probably gonna
kill me. Because that's what Dorothy's
assassin, she's an assassin. And that's what Glenda's
pretty much done, is made this human
assassin. And I think
that's why Tin Man maybe
doesn't want her to leave, is that
he's like, no, we need a human face, a face
that we can be like, hey, look, everyone, this is our
hero. Yeah, she did good.
Because if the people of the Emerald City
love the wizard, some
might. No, they're all terrified.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess then they'd be happy, but they'd be like, oh, she
got rid of him. Yeah. Oh, but then
she goes home, so no, maybe not.
So I still think it's all,
all,
all a ploy by the Munchkin people to be like,
nah,
we need to be take away the Oz.
So we have our own person in power.
They hire Glenda,
who is sort of in a way,
sort of getting rid of her siblings as well as,
um,
getting rid of,
rid of,
um,
the wizard.
But you know what?
I mean,
Glenda's,
are they villains?
Huh?
Are they villains?
Well, no.
I think Glinda is actually quite a good witch.
Because think about the alternative, right?
The alternative is that the Munchkins go to war with the Emerald City.
Yep.
Probably slaughtered, let's be honest.
I don't know.
The people of the Emerald City...
Yeah, the people of the Emerald City are fucking terrifying.
They're like jackbooted thugs.
They're nuts. But, like lot at Popgild are fucking terrifying. They're like jackbooted thugs. They're nuts.
But even just in terms of height,
the people of the Emerald City have another foot on the several feet.
Yeah, but they can get underneath them.
I guess.
And they do have guns.
But still, whatever.
It wouldn't be a nice war.
It would not be a good war.
There would be some...
There'd be magic flying.
There'd be munchkins dying left and right. Yeah, witches would have be a good war. There would be some... There'd be magic flying, there'd be munchkins
dying left and right. Yeah, witches would have to
pick a side. You know.
But with Glenda's ploy, with
subtle, quiet assassinations, and
then not even killing the wizard, just
exiling him. And putting a literal
straw man in charge.
So that the munchkins can kind of rule.
I mean, sure, the Emerald City people
are like, their leader's been deposed,
but he wasn't a great leader in the first place.
And they were quite afraid of him.
Yeah, I think Glinda prevented a war.
Huh.
Yeah.
So she really was a good witch.
Good witch.
That doesn't mean the other witches were wicked.
No, definitely not.
It just means that they're, you know...
Like, Glinda was like a literal good witch,
not in just the title she gave herself.
Yeah.
Well, not really.
I mean, she was for the greater good witch.
Yes, for the greater good witch.
Yeah.
And the other witches were wicked
to a sort of given extent of wicked witches.
Well, maybe not wicked,
just kind of in the way of Glinda's.
Yeah.
Of the munchkins.
I reckon it was the munchkins trying this. I reckon it was Glinda's. Yeah. Of the munchkins.
I reckon it was the munchkins trying this.
I reckon it was Glenda.
I think it was the munchkins.
I think the munchkins are at the base of it,
and Glenda is just... I reckon...
No, no, no.
Because I reckon the munchkins would have wanted war.
It's Glenda has just subverted this whole thing.
What, you reckon the munchkins are like little bloodthirsty?
I reckon so.
Look at the lollipop field in the lollipop fucking league.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fair enough.
And Glenda's just prevented it.
And the Munchkins are very bloodthirsty.
They are when the witch dies.
When the witch dies, they're just like,
not only is she dead,
we have choreographed a whole song that involves a village.
Even though we're not in any way troubled by a witch,
we're still having our gross egg babies.
We're still carrying them fine.
We have a working dog.
We've got a mare and a coroner.
There is no reason for them to really think
that this witch is wicked
because she has real power there.
But when she does die, they're like,
flash mob!
They're just in the way.
They're just in the way.
They're pins that need to be knocked down.
Glenda just knocks them down in a way that isn't.
So Glenda's probably like, look, guys,
you can be in charge of the Emerald City.
And the way you can do this is by putting in your ruler as their king.
And we can do this by doing this.
And so she's probably invited the Wicked Witch of the East to come along.
We're going to have some sort of truce because we've got to get rid of that.
Have a powwow.
We've got to get rid of that wizard and
house her.
Best way to kill anyone,
just to house them. If I was a witch
and an assassin, that's how
I'd kill everybody. Exactly, because
I think a unified Oz
would also threaten the Wicked Witch of the
West because she's like, no, what's
going on here? I've got my monkey
people and they're going to raise some shit.
Because I think a flying monkey versus a munchkin would be the best fight.
God, yes.
And I'm pretty sure someone in charge of flying monkeys could not let that pass.
Because if I had flying monkeys, it would be like, no, no, no, we have to have a war.
I want to see them fight.
Like, I want to see them fight people their size.
That's what makes it good. And that would be great be great come on so she has to go yeah and that's why she um you know they send
dorothy to kill her effectively and the wizard has to go then you've got all the true power in
oz out of the way let's be honest that any like the mayor of munchkinland is probably only mayor in title. Oh, exactly.
And so, in a sense, while they're sort of going for, like, more land,
Glenda's actually done very good by completely and utterly averting a war.
The body count at the end is far lower than it could have been.
That's for sure.
Well done, Glenda.
Yeah.
Good witch.
You're team Glenda?
I'm team Glenda.
I mean, for the great good witch.
Yeah, she's for the great good witch.
In the way, witches. It's for the great and good witch. And the way witches.
Not wicked, not good. I'm team
it's all a fucking delusion in
Dorothy's head.
Shut up. Who really cares?
Against the spirit
of the show. I've been Joel.
I have been Jackson. And I've also
been Joel. There's no place like home. Fuck off!
There's no place like home.
Fucking hate you guys.
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