Plumbing the Death Star - What Are the Existential Implications of Living in the Boss Baby (Universe)?

Episode Date: November 12, 2023

Against their better judgment two thirds of the Plumbing Boys sat down and watched The Boss Baby. Then one half of that third watched the sequel The Boss Baby: Family Business. Firmly steeped in Boss Baby lore, we now have a lot of questions. How old is a Boss Baby? Are the executives we know and love today just Boss Baby Men? Will a grown up Boss Baby have the same personality when he is a Boss Man? Is it ethical to take away the binky of a Boss Baby? Why does James Marsden keep being cucked? A lot of important questions, some answered but most not. So go have a lie down, refuse to imagine a scenario where puppies outlive you and don’t you dare dream of a world with a finite amount of love. Pre-existence may be a factory line ever edging you towards predeterminism but at least your existence isn’t. We think.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. You're listening to the Sandspans Network. All right, we ready? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Born ready. Like a baby. Like a baby, I'm born ready. Whoa. You're listening to the Sandspans Network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. This is the-

Fuck! It's okay. I know what's gonna stay in, and it breaks my heart. Take two. You killed me. Oh, bitch. You fucking killed me. So real.

I don't know what was in my burger that I had for lunch, but it's left me all fucked up. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. And this is a podcast where we ask the important questions like, what are the existential implications of living in the Boss Baby universe. Yeah, not, you can't live in a baby.

You cannot live in a baby. You cannot live in a baby. Don't try. It's just a crime, I feel. Well, I don't know. It doesn't be quite the crime. No one's ever done it. Is there anything you can't live in a baby. Don't try. It's just a crime, I feel. Well, I don't know. It doesn't be quite a crime. No one's ever done it. Is there anything you can live in? Like, say you're in Star Wars.

Okay. Luke, arguably. He lived in a Tauntaun. For a brief moment in time. If he needed to receive mail whilst he was hiding in the Tauntaun, he would have to put down his address as in Tauntaun half hot care of and solo.

Exactly. No, okay. So, I watched both Boss Baby movies. The Boss Baby and the Boss Baby Family Business. Damn, I only watched the one Boss Baby. Well, I had the opportunity. I looked at my local cinema and I saw that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie was

showing in 20 minutes and I was like for some reason, no, no. I need to learn more about Boss Baby. Okay. Quick rundown on what happens in Boss Baby 1. Thank you. Lay it on us. Some of us have seen 2, some of us have seen 1, some of us have seen none. Okay, so.

I don't know what's going on. Our main boy. Alec Baldwin or Tobey Maguire? No, no, no. Tobey Mag none. Okay, so. I don't know what's going on. Our main boy. Alec Baldwin or Tobey Maguire? No, no, no. Tobey Maguire? Well, yeah, all young Tobey Maguire. Young Tobey Maguire. So Tim, I'm pretty sure his name is.

Tim the Tall Man? Taylor? No. No? Tim possibly Pendleton? Tim Pendleton. Tim Pendleton. It doesn't matter. So he is a young boy of around seven, maybe,

and he discovers that, oh no, his parents are having another child. Oh, what the fuck? And he doesn't want this. Yeah, fuck that. He's like, no, my parents love me. I'm number one in their life. I don't want them to have a child. Then a taxi pulls up, and the boss baby comes out of the taxi

and walks into their home. He's in a little suit. Yeah, I know what the boss baby looks like. He's got a little briefcase. and walks into their home. He's in a little suit. Yeah, I know what the boss baby looks like. He's got a little briefcase. He walks into their home. He comes down the stairs because he's like, oh, fuck, I've got a brother. And the parents are swaddling a boss baby in a little suit.

Yeah. And Tim's all like, why is he wearing a suit? He's a little freak boy. He's wearing a suit. And they're like, isn't he cute? And he is. He wears a suit. So that's cute.

And what we come to learn is that in this universe. This is so fucked up. So in my, because obviously I haven't seen Boss Baby. Fair enough. I'm familiar with the concept. But I imagine it was like a Wreck-It Ralph situation where like a baby is connected to like, or like maybe Baby Geniuses does this too, where like babies are connected to like a baby world connected to like or like a maybe Baby Geniuses does this too where like babies

are connected to like a baby world or whatever and the new baby meets Boss Baby not that the new boy is Boss Baby no okay

so here's what you gotta understand in this universe yeah when we come into being yeah it's unclear are we still made of cum? no

and pussy? what? no there is a saying. Every person is 50% cum, 50% pussy. I just need to just iterate. We don't cum from cum and pussy. We kind of do.

Yeah. That's what I like to hear. Okay, fine. We're 50% nuts and 50% pussy. Well, there is a scene in Boss Baby where the main kid, Tim, he learns about the Boss Baby and how people, babies, come into being. And he's like, that's crazy. Oh, 50% nuts and 50% pussy?

Well, that's what he believes. Yeah, because he's like, it's not a stalk or a cabbage patch. Idiots. Yeah, because he whispers in the Boss Baby's ear. He's like, this is what I thought. This is what my mom and dad told me. Assume it's a 50% cum, 50% pussy situation. Boss Baby's like, that's disgusting.

What? In the Boss Baby universe. That's the most natural and beautiful thing on this God-given earth. Not in the Boss Baby universe. In the Boss Baby universe, we just fuck for fun. And then sometimes a baby happens. Anyway, we come to learn yep in the boss baby universe we come into existence we get pampered and and babyfied there's a scene where

the boss baby nearly gets a pacifier in his arsehole and he flips around just in time and then we put in a little too and we get tickled. Now, if we laugh. Babies are basically on a factory line. It looks like pre-existence is some sort of mechanical factory line. We get tickled. If the baby gets tickled and laughs, they go to a family. If they don't, they become a boss babe. They go to management. Yeah, where they manage the babies in the world. Yeah, and the thing is, you're thinking about babies.

Well, they grow up. Yeah. Well, this, you couldn't be further from the truth, my good friend. You see, they have a special formula, milk, which has some ingredient which keeps them a baby. Yeah, but importantly. So you only grow up in the Boss Baby universe when you stop sucking the titty? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This isn't titty milk. This is milk and with a little bit of extra formula in it. Yeah. And then they drink that. So instead of going to Earth... What the fuck is going on?

Instead of going to Earth, you... So Boss Baby, in the Boss Baby realm, in Baby Corp, they call it, he is fully formed. He doesn't grow up.

He's an adult in a baby's body But he would grow up if he didn't drink the special formula Because the moment he does not drink the special formula He starts becoming regular smooth brained baby He becomes very goo goo ga ga He doesn't know what's going on He has baby moments

When he's out of formula Now Boss Baby only goes on to Earth Because he's on a special mission The special mission. The special mission is that there is, it turns out, a finite amount of love in the world. And we see a pie chart at one point. And the problem is that dogs, puppies, are getting most of it. Because the main character's parents breed what we know are unethical forms of dog.

Oh! They're like, we're breeding a puppy that'll be a puppy forever. That's fucked up. That's the thing he's trying to stop. That's true. He's trying to stop a puppy that is a puppy forever.

But the parents, the kids' parents were instrumental in making that dog. Oh, yes. Wait, do they work for a puppy farm? Yes.

Well, a puppy company. It's a puppy company, but the puppy company is bringing out a brand new dog that's so wonderful that it's going to take all the love away from babies.

Because they're already breeding so many cute, adorable puppies. You've got long puppies. You've got puppies with fucked up faces. You've got puppies that are maybe too short. Those are cute puppies. You've got the poodle mixing with everything, a library doodle, all those kind of things. I mentioned it.

And it seems that Boss Baby's parents might have been integral in making at least some of these. And now they're like, this is what we're putting our time, money, and energy into, is a puppy that never gets old or dies. Doesn't die? Well, clearly they're showing a clip where the puppy outlives a man. Yeah, that's true. What the fuck is going on in Boss Baby?

So Boss Baby's going to stop this. It's important to note as well that the pie chart in Baby Corp that shows where all the love is going, it's going to babies, dogs, cats, and fish. Yeah. How much love are fish getting? Which is why it's a very sliver. That's true.

But I mean, in the grand scheme... Anyway. Do you think like a bird or a guinea pig? I think a bird might be on there, actually. There's a few things that are there. Rats? People love rats. People love rats.

People that have rats love their rats. Yeah, but I reckon, yes, the amount of one person or the group of people that love a rat, I think the amount of people that casually love a fish... Yeah, that's true. That's true. How many people are seeing their fish? I mean, a fish... They're like, oh, I love my fish. It's true. How many people are seeing their fish? I mean, a fish. I love my fish.

It's basically not an animal. I love this moving piece of furniture. Yeah, exactly. So anyway, they stop the puppies. Thank goodness. And all the while, the baby, boss baby is fully sentient. He is an adult in a baby's body. He smokes cigars, yeah?

No. I get it, because it's easy to imagine the Boss Baby. I think I'm thinking of Herman from Roger Rabbit. It's sort of the proto-Boss Baby in a way. Yeah, he's got a 50-year-old libido and a 3-year-old winky. The master plan, I guess, for the dog core, whatever they're called, is that they basically trapped Boss Baby so that they could get his

special juice formula because the head of the dog core is actually super big fat mega baby that grew old. Yeah. He was lactose intolerant so he couldn't drink all that delicious formula, so he just got old.

And now he hates Baby. Because he got fired. See? Yeah. And this is his revenge. And so they're going to use the heaven juice or the whatever juice to make and give that to puppies. Yeah. So that puppies remain beautiful and young forever.

In the end, because Boss Baby and Tim, they don't get along. Right? Because Boss Baby's like, I'm just on a mission. I'm an adult man, you're a child. Tim's like, you're stealing the love from my parents. But in the end, Tim's like, hey, let's be brothers forever. He writes him a very lovely note. And Boss Baby, who's got a promotion, he's got the corner office,

he's like, you know what? I am going to go be born. Boss Baby is born. Now, Boss Baby. How are Boss Babies born? The traditional way? It's unclear. See, what happens?

You're forgetting some bits. You're forgetting some bits. Because he leaves in a taxi as well. So what happens when Boss Baby. So he goes to get born and comes back the same way? I think. Okay. So what happens is when Boss Baby mission accomplished.

A big, a tick, a full boss baby. Well done. The dog is still not taking over the world. Everyone forget about Boss Baby. They send in basically a bit of a mind wipe. Men in black. Kind of like Men in Black, but it's more like the Adjustment Bureau. Yeah, it is.

If you remember that, Phil. They get rid of all of the baby stuff. So they've got these other babies, other boss babies, that come in and they're in full on hazmat suits and that kind of stuff, and they are getting rid of anything that boss baby related. So any kind of photograph that was with boss baby and Tim, only has Tim there. And then they're basically going memory delete, memory delete, memory delete.

And then one of the little adjustment bureau boss babies goes up to Tim and they're like, memory delete. And he's like, no, no, no, thank you. I wish to remember boss baby. And then they're like, okay. Whatever, dude. They don't care. Yeah, you gotta remember Boss Baby. Who gives a shit? When Boss Baby is reborn, though, he

doesn't remember being the Boss Baby. Well, yeah, because he's no longer having the special formula. Yeah, exactly. Hey, question. And this is a different franchise, but do you think that maybe Stewie Griffin's a Boss Baby? Well, that is intriguing. No, I think

Stewie Griffin is like the villain of Boss Baby 2 Family Business. Fair enough. Who is not a boss baby, but is an intelligent baby. Because he doesn't remember being boss baby, but then super chubby, great baby. When he stops having the juice, he remembers being made.

But he hasn't been born? You've forgotten part of it too, Zem. I think I might have forgotten part of it. Here's the thing. Pacifiers, dummies, binkies. That's right. That keeps you remembering being a boss baby.

And to make Tim realize, to give him a sort of crash course on the boss baby situation. He has to suck on a pacifier? They say, suck, suck, suck. And then they suck on the pacifier. And then they go up and like astral project almost. Into Boss Baby realm.

Into Boss Baby realm, yeah. Where they can see what's going on, but no one can see them. So then Boss Baby gets born, goes back home to his new brother Tim. Yeah, grows up normal. Is the same? No. Not wearing a suit. Is he just normal baby?

In Boss Baby 2, we'll get into that. See, now, in the end, it's now, just normal baby? In Boss Baby 2, we'll get into that. See, now, in the end, it's now, because Tim, brother of Boss Baby, is having his own child. Yes.

Whoa, it jumps forward, though. It does, it does. He's explaining to his daughter of like, you know, well, what happened when he had a brother. Yeah. And that's when he met Boss Baby.

He was a Boss Baby. And that's your uncle, Boss Baby. Your uncle's a Boss Baby. And then it's kind of like that explains it. Is boss baby grown up in this scene? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does boss baby remember?

I know. So uncle boss baby is a boss. But he's a boss. He's a boss man. At least he's an executive. Has he grown up to like the adult version of us? In a way, yeah. Is he wearing a suit in this scene?

Is he smoking a cigar? No. No cigars. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He is an executive. Yeah. So I'm guessing that maybe a lot of the executives that we know and love today were boss babies.

That's true. Well, okay. But then you say boss baby two. And at the end it is revealed that Tim has had a boss baby of his own. His daughter is a boss baby. Now, in boss baby two. So it's important to know. Do the parents know they've got a boss baby? No. Or are they just like, this is a boss baby. Now, in Boss Baby 2, it's important to know. Do the parents know they've got a boss baby? No. Of course not.

This is my normal kid. This is my normal baby who came in a suit. They just think it's adorable. It's cute. And the boss baby, they're kind of like a little bit of covert operation. They try not to make the parents know, and they're very good at it. Just imagine what it would do to your mental health to learn about boss baby

realm. Yeah, I mean, I know exactly what it would do to your mental health. So anytime there's someone overlooking, anytime Tim tries to catch him out, well, they make sure that it doesn't. Exactly. So at the end of Boss Baby 1, Boss Baby and Tim, they're like, we're going to be brothers forever. Tim writes Boss Baby a very lovely note where he's like, I know we fought, but I will be there when you wake up. I will be there when you go to sleep I will love you forever now in Boss Baby 2

we find out that didn't happen what happened they grew apart no they fucking hate each other what it's crazy

they just hate each other because that was a beautiful reflection of what was happening they were like oh if we do this it's going to suck oh man

they hate each other they dislike each other and Tim's a really weird dad and sounds different now because Tobey Maguire did not come back. No, it is James Marsden is Tim this time around. Oh, Cyclops. Is there a thread maybe where one of the childs isn't Tim's? Well, that's what it feels like, because Tim's daughter.

Classic James. Classic Marsden. It really feels like the implication. It's like an undercurrent of Boss Baby 2 family business, is that Boss Man, Ted, is the secret father of Tim's kid. Because his daughter is heaps like Ted and has no creative bones in her body, whereas Tim's a very creative guy. And he's like, I can't connect with this daughter, but Boss Man is like,

I treat this girl like she's my own daughter. It's very straight. Does James Marsden just have a very cockable face? I don't know. What is it about? Sonic's gonna cock him in Sonic 3. Musk, right? He's been cocked in too many films, right? X-Men, Enchanted? Westworld, maybe.

Westworld, Enchanted. I think it's Enchanted. Boss Baby 2. When it happens once you're like I guess that was the plot of that film or whatever like a B plot or something but this

5 does it happen like too many times in a row where people are like that's he's typecast as the cock that's who you get

I guess he's so good at it he's developed those skills at being cocked on that's how I constantly get the bull rolls yeah you're a bull twice you're like well it's the bull you're the bull rolls. You're a bull twice.

You're like, well, I was the bull. You're the bull, I guess. There's no going back. Look, it's a hard day's work, but I have to fuck your wife now. Thank you. That is $20. Thank you. I can also think of something else.

I'm going to spend that user $20 on cigarettes. Nice. I'm going to smoke everyone and think about fucking your wife again. You're going to smoke everyone. No, not smoke everyone in the room. I love when my bull fucks my wife and smokes cigarettes with my money. Yeah. So, Boss Baby 2.

Yeah. Yes. We discover that Tim doesn't, he remembers everything, but he doesn't know he has a boss baby. Because his daughter is a boss baby. But we knew that from the first one. Yes. His baby. So he remembers having a boss baby brother. Yes. But he's too blind. Oblivious to his boss baby. But we knew that from the first one. Yes. He remembers having a boss baby

brother, but he's too blind to see his own boss baby kid. He's fallen. Him and his brother, they don't see each other. His brother's incredibly wealthy and he gives them lavish gifts. They have a pony, but he's never around for Christmas.

What a motherfucker. He discovers, Tim, that his daughter is a boss baby. And he's stoked. He loves it. He's not terrified as I would be. Well you already knew though. Here's the thing, and this is one of those existential implications of a boss baby.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention something to JD. But go on. It's not like your kid. Because she's lived her whole life in boss baby role. Yeah. And she just lives in your house. So there's that. Yeah.

Correct. But also, I've got to remind, at least inform JD. There's boss baby, sure. But there's also, I guess, regular baby, which is staff. Yeah. Some people just work a baby call. But they're your babies. They are babies.

And they are 100% babies. Yeah. But they can kind of talk, maybe. Yeah. Or they can talk to boss baby, but not to us. And when you have a baby, can your baby just be one of those normal babies? It seems like, yes. Yeah.

You can just have a baby that's a bit of a guy, but also a lot of a baby. Yeah. This is confusing. Because they're not also a lot of a baby. This is confusing. They're not very good at being a boss, unless they are middle management and they too are on a mission. I don't know. But it seems like, no, because they say goodbye. Yeah.

So it seems like they are- They're just like clever babies. Someone babies. So it turns out there's a new threat facing the realm of babies. And that is that there's this educator. He's got a school. And he's trying to erase parents from the picture. So the new boss baby, Tim's daughter, gets Ted, boss man, and Tim to drink a super secret formula that makes them babies.

Okay. So Ted becomes boss man, boss baby. Yeah, he becomes boss baby again. Yeah. Boss baby man. Tim becomes not baby Tim, but Tim like from the first movie. So it just de-ages you X many years. It's unclear.

So Tim just becomes the- Tim. Tim, like seven-year-old Tim. Yeah. Okay. Now, they infiltrate the school, and they discover that this educator is also a baby. He's a baby in a man robot suit. And this baby man is not a boss baby.

He's just a baby that was experimented on and is a genius. By the babies? By his parents. So he hates parents because his parents experimented on him. Yes. And they made him too clever. And so now he... Oh, that reminds me of a little text that occasionally gets referenced.

What's this? Flowers for Algernon. He kind of got flowers for Algernon, I guess. Anyway, so he wants to hypnotize all parents. He got so smart he became unhappy. Yeah,. He got so smart, he became unhappy. Yeah, this guy got so smart, he became a man. But he's an unhappy man, right? But he, no, is he a man, or is he a baby in a man suit?

He's a baby in a man suit. Fouls Foulgenon. So who's Fouls Foulgenon? Okay. Does it end as sad as Fouls Foulgenon? No, not really. Does the baby become dumb again? No, he just goes back to his parents.

Did they experiment? He goes back to his parents! His abusive parents! I don't know. Anyway, so they have to infiltrate the school. They discover he's going to hypnotize everybody and destroy parents. Now this boss, this baby who is just smart,

he's getting babies to code. So the baby who is just smart, does he know about the boss babies? No. So he's just doing this. He sees boss baby who is a boss baby. Yeah. And he's like, that's one clever baby. Like me, a clever baby.

So he's just like, that baby also is clever like me. But he doesn't realize that he's clever because he's a boss baby. Yeah. He's like clever because his parents also experimented on him. Not that he's a boss baby and also being de-aged by special juice. No, because here's the thing. The baby who's just a clever guy,

he's sort of planning a baby revolution. Tell me more. He has this ad where he's like, soon babies will be mining. They'll be running stores. Babies yearn for the mines. That's what Minecraft has taught us Anything an adult can do, a baby will do

Where's this ad running? I'm training these babies To take over the world Where is the ad running? On television The baby is just as a baby He's in his adult suit But who's the ad?

What time slot? It's advertising his adult suit. Yeah, but who's the ad? Like, at what time slot? Who's he going for? Because it's advertising his school. The Acorn School. So it's like, hey, your baby. Send your baby to my school. I'll have it in the mines in no time. You want your baby to work in the mines and do everything you can do, send them here?

He's like, hey, babies are an underutilized, repressed workforce. Send your baby to my school. I'll make your baby smart. You're a parent, let's say. You have a beautiful baby. Is it a boss baby? Yeah, you've got a baby. You've got a regular baby. And you see, you're bouncing your baby on your knee, and then you see

on the TV, you're watching, I don't know, let's say Send your baby to war! Hey, everyone. Hi there, young parents. I notice you have a baby. Don't you know, wouldn't you wish that baby could do things that maybe you can do? Yeah. Free up some time. Wouldn't you wish that you could send your baby off to work?

I do so much for this baby. Maybe it's time this baby did something for me. You're the weight baby. You're constantly feeding your baby. You're constantly changing your baby. Babies are expensive. It's about time they started earning a living. Take them to our school.

I'm sending you to the mines. This ad worked real too well for you. Hey, baby, you seeing this ad? You got to get me some gold. Jackson not only is sending his baby to the mines, doesn't understand what mines do or how they work. I'm just putting my baby near a river and hoping they can pan for gold. Find me gold!

Find me gold, baby! I guess he'll get some babies to his school. Never mind. You're right. That proves me wrong so quickly. So the apps the babies are developing. They're making apps up. The babies are coding.

They've got little cribs with keyboards and they're coding. And they code an app that turns the parents into zombies. Okay. But eventually they stop. Yeah. We've invented a gun. Like, why do you need an app to turn? He's a baby.

This baby's dumb as shit. Maybe he doesn't want to meet her. Maybe he doesn't want to kill. If causing irreversible brain damage and creating a vegetable isn't killing, but a gun is killing, I'm lost to where I'm going here.

I think making someone brain dead is the same as making them dead dead. It's a baby. There's a clever baby, sure, but I guess hasn't quite figured out object permanence yet. So this is a way of shutting my parents down, but they're still here. Because his kind of philosophy is like parents will tell you no.

They'll tell you you can't do this. And so we can do what we want. Parents will tell you no, you can't do this. Take this special cue. You're going to be clever. Oh my God, parents, am I right? Parents are saying no, little baby. you can't go in the mines today. You're too little.

I don't know about you, baby. I think you'd be awesome in the mines. You got little hands. You'd be able to fit them into crevices. Yeah. You don't know what mining is either. Yeah, put your little hand in a crevice, pull out a gem. I know that is mining.

You're right. Little baby pickaxe, just hammer at that wall. Find the diamonds. They're in there somewhere. So at the end of the movie, they thwart this very clever baby. Okay. They send him back. Oh, he goes back to his parents.

That's it. They're like, we've got to un-clever our baby. No, he turns up. He's got his little briefcases. He turns up at his parents' door. They open it up. Making a baby smart shouldn't mean that it can pick up a briefcase. He also eats so much.

I don't know if that's controversial. Is he still in his man suit? No. But in the end, the final fight is between two man suits piloted by babies. Is one Tim and the other one Boss Baby? No, one's the bad baby and one's Tim's boss baby. Tim's boss baby? Yeah, his daughter who is a boss baby.

What's her name? Leslie maybe? Leslie. Or maybe that's their middle name. I don't remember. I thought they said middle name. Yeah, Leslie and Lindsay are the middle names of the... And they grow together.

Boss baby, i.e. boss man in his boss baby form and Tim. They grow together to... Like, we've been back growing together. No, it's just they make up. They've become friends. i.e. boss man in his boss baby form and Tim they grow together to like we've been back grow together just they make up they become friends they learn the same

lesson as the first movie pretty much when you say grow up together or do you say grow together as in like grow as people

or they grow up together again and they have that childhood they never had no no no the final fight they're becoming

teenagers they're aging sort of through the they do have a see the way they make up is they have this fight and the boss baby's like, you weren't there for my graduations.

And Tim's like, which one? You graduated so many business schools or whatever. And then Tim's like, you weren't there for my wedding. And the boss baby's like, which one? And he's like, I had one wedding, man. Classic. You just never showed up. And then they make up.

They become friends. They fight in the snow at the end like a fun snowball fight it's Christmas day that's cute they both know about the boss baby realm

that's how it ends and the daughter knows about the eldest daughter knows about her boss baby younger daughter younger sister sorry but the mother

this is the final maybe it's a tease for boss baby 3 I don't know so the way the boss babies communicate with each other is you know that little toy it's like on wheels with a little it's's a tease for boss baby three i don't know so the way the boss babies communicate with each other is you know that little toy it's like on wheels with a little it's like a phone on wheels with a little face that rings the boss baby that's tim's daughter

is like don't worry about work i'm gonna go play with my family yeah but then the mom's like what the fuck that thing's ringing it's a toy she picks it up and they're like we've got another job for you and that's the last we see of that. So I don't know if she's finding out about the Boss Baby Rome 2. It feels that the Boss Babies, they're very leaky. It's a very leaky ship. It's absolutely a leaky ship. It's a mess. But I guess like, what are the consequences of everyone finding out about you?

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Okay, that's it. What would happen if you found out that the pre-existence is the baby realm and that we're being managed by oh it's a lot of implications I think immediately

if I found out that that to be true like actually true not just like someone told me this like as in like you pick up the phone

hello no no no not even that I think like if someone was like let's just say I don't know there's a certain point

in people's ages where you get given this thing the same way you get like I don't know, there's a certain point in people's ages where you get given this thing. The same way that you get, I don't know, sex ed or whatever. Okay. Yeah, you're like, hey, you're 16 now. Just so you know, this is how babies come. Even if I didn't remember, I think I would immediately

get false memories of being a boss. Not necessarily a boss baby. But I would immediately get false memories of baby realm. And I think I could remember it. But if I found out, like, right now, I would be like, what? What does it mean theologically? What does it mean for cum and eggs?

Well, that's so weird to me. Are you happy? I said eggs, not pussies this time. I am happy about that. I'm not. Fucking in this universe doesn't do shit. Which is good. Or it does and the boss babies just

pay attention and they send the baby out after you. But if we don't reproduce that because the mother is pregnant and you see her as pregnant. There's a gestation period. So a baby is in her. And the baby remembers being a businessman in the world.

So, like, hey, this is a story that Tim is telling his daughter. That's true. And that, look, maybe there's a lot of imagination. And it's a bit of an embellishment. And it's kind of like when the baby comes through, you look like a boss. Yeah. Sure.

That is maybe one interpretation. Bullshit and lies. Yeah. Because there is a boss lady at the end. Well, and in the second one, the daughter, his daughter believes, she's like,

you've been just telling me, I get it, it's like a metaphor, and then her sister is a boss baby, and she's like, well, fuck. So initially, well, it's a metaphor,

but actually it's not. It's not a metaphor. It's just true. But then if Tim, because Tim knows about fucking, which means he's had the sex talk. So the boss babies just shrink themselves and put them in someone's nuts

and then get cummed and then grow into normal size. I think you need to have the sex talk. No, because if babies are real... Yeah. Yeah. If boss babies are real, Yeah. Yeah. If boss babies are real, they exist in baby realm.

So pre-existence is you're already a child. Then they get shrunk to sperm size. Or egg size. Or they get split in half. They get split into hundreds of different atoms, I guess. Distributed across. You know what I mean? My here though is also okay well if um if i can don't make a baby yeah now what about say for example we've been talking about puppies is there um puppy realm that's a really good question because there are

other kinds of babies hey hey what about when we were cavemen? Were there boss caveman babies? Because it's a factory line, which I'm guessing has been upgraded throughout the centuries, millennia, etc. The boss babies also, we find this out in the sequel, they monitor Earth. Okay, do they go to school?

Do we assume that fucking... No, they come out fully ready to go. They come out fully boss-babied? They come out fully boss-babied. They don't... Because they have, like,

exec... Because they have, like, exec brains. Yeah. Because they talk, you know, they do everything classic execs have. They know what a

per diem is. They know all those... Mamos. All of this. They're happy to throw money at the problem. Boss-baby, this is also...

I noticed this watching the first one. He is pre-aware of what sushi is. What the fuck do you mean pre-aware? As in when he comes to Earth, without encountering sushi on Earth. You keep saying comes to Earth. Is Baby Realm in space?

It's not on Earth. There's multiple scenes where they talk about Baby Realm and they point to Heaven. Yeah. Also, Boss Baby, in Boss Baby 2 Family Family Business impersonates Jesus in the play. Okay. He is baby Jesus. Yeah.

In the play. And then he gets up and does a little dance and then he pulls a lever. What does a lever do? It turns off the play. Okay. I mean. In terms of pre-knowledge about Sushi, because they have the watching, but also this might not be his first assignment.

That's a great point, actually. Yeah, because when he's talking to his board, as in the big baby and then the triplets and whatever, he's like, this is who I've got to work with? He's a bit indignant. So it seems to be this is not his first assignment on Earth. Dude, but that's super fucked. Okay, so his daughter in the second one, right?

She is a fully aware boss baby, but she loves her family. That's the difference. Because boss baby in the first one, he's like, this is just a job. Yeah, whatever. But his daughter is like, I actually love my family. It's great, unconditional love. Now, will she grow up? Yeah, because she's not going to take the formula, right?

Yeah, so she'll forget, yes, being formula, right? Yeah, so she'll forget. Yes, being a boss baby. Well, that's okay. Out of everything that could happen, forgetting you're a boss baby and being regular baby is good. But that's like you've had a whole life in baby corp. Yeah. You've made friends. You've fallen in love, maybe. I don't know how that works.

I don't think so. I think they're very work-driven. Okay, but you've had a whole life up there. Because, again, we're talking family versus management. It seems that the management, they're very, again, work-driven. Okay, but you had a whole life up there. Because again, we're talking family versus management, it seems. The management, they're very, again, work-driven. Okay, let's say that you usually smoke cigarettes.

Awesome. And you stop smoking cigarettes and then you forget about a job you used to have. Do you think that's a bad life? Was I born into this job? If I was born, say I'm born in the mines.

And I work in the mines for like 30 years. And I make friends with other miners. And I have good times and I have bad times. And mines was actually a pretty good idea with the miners thing. And then you erase all that and I have to start from scratch growing up.

Yeah. I've lost a whole life. Well, you have lost. Well, not just that. Or have you completed a life? Well, that's another. You've also kind of lost, you don't know how long you're living as well, right? Yeah.

Because that special formula keeps you young for infinite. How old is the boss baby? How old is the boss baby? How old is the boss baby? He could be hundreds of years old. He could be a millennial. He could be the baby Jesus. Maybe he was. He was like, this again?

Shutting it down. I remember what happened last time. I think there's also a reference to Christ in the first movie, too, where he's like, you're like Jesus or something. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of weird. What the fuck?

What's going on there? When you die, do you go back to baby core? Well, no, because you were not a baby and we don't see any babies. There's no old man core. I'm not going to old man core.

Yeah, yeah. Cadaver core maybe. Boss core. Because I'm guessing it is like, you know, it's the, you know, every baby is sort of up there.

It's like, it's the idea of a baby, right? Okay. And that's what's, I guess what's is like, you know, every baby is sort of up there. It's the idea of a baby, right? Okay. And I guess what's happening is when you're... Do the babies look exactly the same? Yes. No. As in, like, they look different to each other. Yeah. Yeah, they all look different. Okay, I thought you meant, like, boss baby in baby core looks like boss baby on Earth.

No, I mean, like, do all of the babies look the same? No. They're all different babies. Boss baby in the second one hasn't had a kid, and I wonder if that's because he's scared he'll get a boss baby. I don't know if... But if you know... Okay, if you know about boss babies,

then you already know whatever you knew about children is wrong and fucked up. So at that point, you have a boss baby, you don't have a boss baby. Oh, the only... Actually, of course, because the difference is a regular baby gets tickled, laughs, so you get that baby fresh.

It hasn't lived a life. It hasn't lived a life as a boss baby. No, because then Oh, wait, true. So for boss baby to get his next mission, i.e. to be team brother, he takes off his suit, he goes and jumps onto the start of the line,

like the production line, and like maybe jumps ahead or whatever. Nude baby alert. Yeah. And then- There's a lot of baby butt. Whoa, that's fucked up. It's crazy.

Put on some pants, baby. And then, because there's a little tickle machine there, then it's like, see if you laugh or not. Because Boss Baby finds out that there is a spot where he is tickling. Yeah, that's true.

Oh, so he was wrongfully made Boss Baby. But this is the thing. Every baby, or it seems every boss baby at least, because of who we've seen who went to management, there is a little spot that is ticklish. Yeah, that's how they defeat the main bad big boss baby boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Super big, large.

His name's something like that, dude. Super big, large, maximum big boss baby. Rest in peace to super big, bad, baby boss bad boy. There's a scene where they go through and they look at all the great executives of times past, and they're called Big Bada Bing Boom Badoomba Boss Bading Bum Bading Bang Bong Baby. Oh, the crazy frog's back. He's explaining boss baby. What if crazy frog was in Boss Baby?

Well, it sounds a little like something like this. So there. And then when Boss Baby gets his little foot tickled, he giggles, and then he goes to family, and then he gets shot down into Earth, and then he loses his memory of being a Boss Baby. Yeah. I think we're talking – there's two different babies here. Okay. You've got the Boss Babies, and then you've got Baby Babies. Right. I think it's I think we're talking there's two different babies here okay

you've got the boss babies sure and then you've got baby babies right and so when baby babies they get tickled got a family

whatever they get shut down and then they regular baby whatever sure and then you've got the boss babies

and they're not generally meant to come down to earth yeah because they're the ones on a mission they're like angels yeah

exactly and so when they come down to River Balder or whatever yeah and so when they're done, the mission is done, they're usually meant to be erased from existence.

Oh, okay, fair enough, true. And so same with, I guess- Adjustment Bureau. Yeah, yeah. Same, I guess, with Tim's daughter, who is a boss baby. She's meant to stop genius man baby from doing all that. And then they're like, we have another mission for you, which means she would have been summoned up,

and then they would have forgot about her. But because she's actually enjoying this, she's like, all that. And then they're like, we have another mission for you, which means she would have been summoned up, and then they would have forgot about her. But because she's actually enjoying this, she's like, fuck that. I'm going to stay down here. I'm going to stay here. Knowing full well that she's going to lose those memories of being a boss. It's a little sort of addendum, though, to the thing. So she actually isn't trying to stop that guy. What's her mission?

To make Tim and Ted friends again. Her mission is to make Tim and Ted friends. Yes. That's it? I don't know. That's what her mission was. Why did they give her that mission? I don't know.

Who's giving her the mission? Baby Corp. So she just said, is this one of those things where she reveals at the end, she's like, it actually wasn't my mission. She's like,

actually, I just wanted you guys to be friends again. That was my main mission. Why or we? We, Baby Corp. That was my mission on Earth. But then why does BabyCore want this? We also wanted to stop this guy,

but the main priority was, because they didn't know that he was a clever baby. Well, obviously. That came as a surprise to everyone, including me. Huh? Jeff Goldblum's a clever baby? Jeff Goldblum?

Yeah, he's a clever baby, and he's disgusting. He's always eating. You know when a baby eats ice cream and it's horrible? Yeah, he's a clever baby, and he's disgusting. He's always, like, eating. You know when, like, a baby eats, like, ice cream and it's horrible? Yeah, it's just covered its whole face. Maybe my mouth is in my forehead. I don't know.

Babies are fucking stupid. Yeah, dude. This baby's clever. This is why you need to be clever. Okay, I guess that's the point. And also, this clever baby, this is so off-putting. The whole movie, he's got a big bag of sugar, and he just scoops out the sugar. What the fuck is wrong with this baby? I hate this baby.

It's so bad. I hope this baby rots in hell. He goes, and he takes his teeth out. Takes his teeth out? Well, he's a baby. He's not a man. They're fake teeth. And then he climbs out of his man suit, and he's like,

Boss Baby, I've got a surprise for you. I'm also a baby. So hang on. So would it be a, because where is, where is boss, where is the genius baby in the man suit?

So boss baby, yeah, he's in here. Oh, and his head is still the head. So he's basically feeding sugar down a tube and he's like.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, his face. His face is his face. His face is his face. He's got a lot of prosthetics on it to make him look less like a baby. And he just eats sugar. I imagine he was eating it like a little tube and he's like a hamster suckling in the man in the mech suit.

Well, yeah, because that reminds me of that guy in this is a great reference already. Yeah. Like that guy

in Men in Black with the sugar water. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cockroach man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's disgusting. He is awful. Yeah.

Yeah, Vinny Day. Yeah, that's right. Not the one you're thinking of. No, no, no. The's disgusting. He is awful. Yeah, Vinny Day. Yeah, that's right. Not the one you're thinking of. No, no, no. Dinofrio, not Diesel. But yeah, so this baby is really gross. Yeah. I don't like him.

I'm not going to lie to you. Still cannot work out the pussy situation. Yeah, me neither, to be honest. This is what I've got to assume. The pregnant belly thing is really fucked up. Here's my guess. Cum and eggs do nothing in this universe. They're useless to us.

But the boss babies have technology to you into a womb as a fetus? Well, it's come to term. Because you don't go to baby realm physically. No. It's metaphysically. They astral project. Yeah, that is true. Babies physically't go to baby realm physically. No. It's metaphysically. They astral project. Yeah, that is true.

Babies physically are made by common pussy. I think so. And then they're projected during the pregnancy to baby realm. If we're talking about like in baby realm, that's the soul of the baby. Yeah, okay. Right? So that's like the soul of the baby. Yeah.

And then, yes, and then we get the common pussy. Uh-huh. And then they make an egg. Nope. They make a fetus. Here we go. Maybe I need the baby. Yeah. And then, yes, and then we get the cum and pussy. Uh-huh. And then they make an egg. Yeah. Nope. They make a fetus. Here we go. Maybe I need the sex.

It's like, shit. No, no, no. There's two things we don't understand. Sex and the mind. If you asked us how to fuck a mind, we would be completely lost. So, yeah, so there's, so yes, they have the baby, the gestation period, etc. Yeah. And then when they are about to give birth, then in baby core

where they're just like production line of baby. Yeah. That's just making souls. That's a soul maker baby. No, it's a soul machine. It's a soul machine. And that is just shooting them down. Why do they put the baby souls in diapers in heaven? And then why do they put the baby souls in diapers in heaven?

And then why do they put them back in the pussies? Well, what would your system be? I don't know. But destroying a person to give birth to a person when it doesn't need to happen seems not logical. Why do they put... Unless we never see a birth in Boss Baby. But with reference.

No, we just see a pregnant woman. And Tim gets the sex talk. He does get the sex talk. But maybe that's part of Baby Cor's big lie. Yeah. Well, yeah, because they're coming down and mind wiping everyone. Yeah, so they come and they say Come in a pussy Come in a pussy

Come in a pussy Brother I'm all ears And then Again And then it's like You were pregnant And then there's

A gestation period And that's Everything's happening right Boss baby arrives In a taxi Does he Yes I know he leaves

In a taxi No cause the scene is Tim says I know I have An overactive imagination But I swear to god Boss baby arrived it a taxi No cause the scene is Tim says I know I have an Overactive imagination But I swear to god Boss baby arrived In a taxi

Okay okay And then he watches Boss baby Fucking Shoot me up to the house I'm the fucking boss baby Yeah yeah yeah And then he's got

A boss baby brother Hmm So I think it's just I think it's a mind web It's gotta be a mind web Baby Corb has convinced Humanity To fuck

To fuck When it's just an awesome thing We do that has no function In this universe Or's got to be a mind web. Baby Corb has convinced humanity that- To fuck. To fuck. When it's just an awesome thing we do that has no function in this universe. Or it used to have a function, maybe. Well, maybe they look at- Oh, that's concerning. Well, I mean, maybe they look at other animals and they're like, well, a dog comes in the dog pussy and that gets a dog baby. Yeah, because unless this is happening in everything else-

Imagine you as a caveman squatting down watching. Babe, what is this? I've been watching a dog come on a dog pussy, and I'm thinking, what have we tried? What else are we doing with them? What else are we doing? A mammoth walked by before, and I got frightened. We've just spent the last six hours hiding,

so why not come on a pussy? Your cousin, he invented fire. I don't know what else I can do. I'm trying to make a name for myself. Yeah, that's my secret family history. I invented fuck. Yeah, he's like, why don't you be more like my cousin Jerry? He invented fire.

What have you done? Well, I have been watching dogs fucking here. It's given me a couple of- My cousin Jerry Fire My husband Joel Fuck Why will you You'll never add up to anything Joel Fuck Why you'll never

Nothing ever good will be named after you Come you say This reminds me of that time I saw that dog Nothing will come of me Come Come Come in a pussy I saw that dog. Nothing will come of me. Come. Come.

Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come. Come in a pussy. Whoa, I made life with my cum. Just having a thing.

Just like a little montage of all the other animals. It's just only dogs. Just loads of different dogs. It's just been consuming you. Why are they doing that? What do they do? They look like they love it. They're screaming and barking.

I don't get it. And then we get more dogs in nine months. Do dogs have a nine month gestation period? I don't know. They do not. I don't know what it is, but they don't have a nine month. It'll be like six, maybe three. I reckon three.

Let's take a half. Well, I'm not going to listen to you because in an episode you confidently said that the human being gestation period is 12 months. That's right. I did. Yeah. Do you know what it is now? Just said it.

Nine months. Yeah, just said it. There was so much fear in how you just said nine then. The thing is, I thought that was right, but I'm so used to being wrong. There was such a good chance I was going to throw that out and get yelled at. That's just true about anything I say. I have such a consistent history of not knowing

what I'm talking about. Saying anything with confidence is dangerous. You're often better than zero, so when you do better than 100, you're all... It's scary. I get it. It's frightening. Okay. Yeah, so if you had a boss baby, you yourself have a boss baby.

How's that changing your life? I know about boss babies. You know about boss babies? Do I know about boss babies before I got a boss baby? Let's imagine we're Tim and our child has just said, hey, daddy, I'm a boss baby. Okay. What the fuck? All right.

So what's, okay. So I guess your, what's your mission? My mission, I'm just here to monitor this family. Oh. Why? We're suspicious of you. But for how long? Because I know about being a boss.

What threat could a family have to boss baby code? Well, no, we're just keeping tabs. That's fine. We're just keeping tabs. No, that's not fine. But like for how long? Because then you'll get to a point where your mission's complete and then you'll go back, right?

Yeah, probably. But you have to remain a baby for that because if you don't, you don't drink that formula, you're going to stay with us and you'll be part of this family now. But if I keep sucking your pacifier, I won't forget. But then you'll be aged out of being a boss baby. Well, yes, but I'll still have the boss baby memories. I'll just be a boss man.

Yeah. I don't like it that I think if my baby's like, I'm here on a surveillance mission. I don't know how long I'll be here. I'll be like, I don't like this one bit. I'm scared of my baby. That's horrible. Like, yes, I don't like this,

but I'm also like, due to the rules of that universe, this is your final mission. You're now part of this family. You're part of the family. You can't opt out, and you will forget. I guess in that situation I would just confiscate the pacifier. Is it ethical to turn your boss baby into a normal baby? Yeah, because you famously, before the start of the episode,

you said turning someone into a zombie, why why not just shoot them or whatever it was. So is it the same thing to take a pacifier from a boss baby, making them a regular baby? I said, I said, killing someone. What did I say? You got lost in it a little. Yeah, you got lost in the sauce a little bit. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I was like, making someone brain dead and making someone dead dead is the same.

Yeah. But this isn't making them brain dead. Well, it is in a way. But their end goal is to be that. It's ego death. Yeah. Would you? What about this?

You have a real- But if you approach it that way, then I think when their mission's done, I'll be like, keep using the pacifier. I'd be fucked up if you don't yeah yeah I guess but then you got an adult child sucking the pacifier and you're like I've yeah this child of mine yeah it's always a baby oh he doesn't have that like the opposite Jack does he yeah I've seen that Francis Ford Coppola film Jack that's right I'm pretty sure he directed yeah I think he did yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. The opposite of that.

Yeah, it's the opposite of that. He's always young and a boss. Yeah. Yeah, he's not seven and looks like a 40-year-old man or whatever. He's 40 and looks like a baby. Literal baby. Seven-month-old baby. Well, let's flip it the other direction.

You are a boss baby. Yeah. Now, your mission's done. You like the family. Oh, yeah. Would you forego the pacifier? No. Would you forego the pacifier? No. Grow up?

Or would you, because you can keep the pacifier and keep growing up. You'll just remember the boss baby and then the offset is you have to be a guy always stuck in a pacifier. How much would you forget?

So say I committed to the pacifier until I was like seven or eight. Yeah. Yeah. And then I took it out. Yeah. Do I forget everything? You forget about being a boss baby. Oh, that doesn't matter. And baby caught. I don't know if you do, though. What I forget everything? You forget about being a boss baby.

And baby caught. I don't know if you do though. What do you mean? Because we have memories, it's just like the last time you remembered it. But the pacifier there is just, because Tim remembers it and he stopped sucking on that pacifier. That's true. But he didn't. The pacifier, all the pacifier

does is connect you and send you astral project you to baby realm realm But isn't there a scene Where the boss baby's like The reason babies forget Is because they stop Sucking on their binky No the reason they forget Is because of the

They don't have the juice They don't drink the juice I swear it's the binky I swear it may be the binky I swear to god It's the binky And they say the binky Is like spiritual

Does that mean that Tim After getting married once Every now and then he has a bit of a suck with that big Maybe Tim, for the sake of not going insane. If I was Tim's wife maybe I would sleep with his brother. Maybe for the sake of

Is his brother also using the pacifier? His brother does not remember being a boss baby. Why does Tim care then? How does he want to remember if his brother doesn't remember? I don't know. I think it would be really weird because when you know the Boss Baby, it's not like knowing a baby. It's like knowing a little guy. Yeah.

And then that little guy you know becomes a baby, but you know he was a little guy, but was that a different guy in a way to the guy you now know? And then you would watch him become that guy again? Well, yeah, because he becomes, you know, Boss Baby. Yeah. He becomes a boss. Yes.

He becomes an exec. He's very wealthy. You know, that personality there. And this comes down to this whole idea of, well, you know, it's the brain you're born with and the situation you grew up in, right? And so, well, Boss Baby has a brain perfect for bossing. That's true. And so then even in a situation where he's, you know,

a creative brother with Tim and that kind of stuff, and he has a family and he's loved and he's a fan, he's a tickle spot. Well, he's still got a brain. He's still Boss Baby. He's pretty damn good at being boss. And so he becomes a boss. So, again, it's like, sure, things may be different.

There might be some different permutations there, whatever life he might lead. But, arguably, he's going to be a boss. So if he was a boss in caveman times and stayed into the caveman family, well, he'd be running that family. Or running that whatever the equivalent of a job was to a caveman.

What job have cavemen? Hunter, gatherer. Kill mammoths. Find good Barry. Find bad Barry. That's my job and I'm awesome at it. Anti-gatherer. I'm an anti-gatherer. So hunter, gatherer, anti-gatherer.

Anti-hunter. The guy who finds out what we can't hunt. Well, anti-hunter. Man. Tree. Would an anti-hunter be more like... Wipe this one off the list, guys. Breeder?

Oh, true. Well, that's later on. You're getting into farming territory. Can't hunt rock. I tried. Don't work. Can't hunt dog. Can hunt dog.

Shouldn't hunt dog. Feel bad. Hey, speaking of dogs. Yes. Oh, my God. You know we did an episode Where we talked about whether or not you could have a wool dog Yeah

In pre-Columbian America They had a dog designed for bedding And clothes And keeping warm It was a full, shearable, freaking dog Is this me being a clever fucking genius? It's gone now I don't know what it was called

but unfortunately no you were arguing for a straight haired sheep weren't you eventually yeah yeah yeah but we were saying the diversion of whatever happens

but there was a dog I watched a great video on pre-Columbian dog breeds in America there were quite a few what led you to this video just wanted to see some cool old dogs

I typed in old dogs you were trying to find a fucking a turn skin dog or whatever whatever dogs old dogs. You were trying to find a fucking... A turnspin dog or whatever. Whatever dogs have we had. I was trying to find that Tim Allen movie.

Oh, yeah. The Shaggy Dog movie or whatever. What's that other one? Oh, no, I know what you mean. Wild Hogs? Yeah. Ah, Wild Hogs.

Wild Hogs were old dogs. Old dogs. Oh, pre-Columbian dogs. Okay. Might see some cool dogs. Yeah, so I guess it would have been like we've got these straight-haired dogs. Yeah. Unless we breed them a little bitian dogs. I might see some cool dogs. It would have been like, well, you've got these straight-haired dogs. Yeah.

Unless you breed them a little bit curly. These dogs apparently would just have a straight-haired sheep. Very possible. Look, I have my phone this time. I can just check. Book up. Pre-Columbian bulldog. No, that's not what I'm interested in. You found the bulldog. Awesome.

Straight-haired sheep. Yeah, we're talking like prehistory. Yeah, ancient straight-haired sheep. There might not be any record of this because, once again, prehistory. That's true. Straight-haired sheep. Some of the dogs were bred to eat, which is pretty cool. Look at this guy. Aw.

Show us. Well, it's straight, but- Not only did we used to have a straight-haired sheep, we currently have a straight-haired sheep. I don't know if that was posted on Oddly Satisfying on Reddit. Maybe someone had straightened that sheep's hair. Can you do that? I mean, you can, but it's not illegal. It's not a crime.

You can do whatever you want. Yeah. Anyway, I just remembered then, and I had to get it out there. There was a woolly dog we bred for clothes. Was that good? Yeah, I feel awesome. Thank you, man. I feel vindicated.

Boss babies left me feeling all kinds of fucked up. Yeah, dude. I don't know what I would do if I had a boss baby, because you'd be like, if I knew about boss babies, I'd be like, oh, I thought we were going to have a kid. Now I've got one of these. You've got a boss baby. You're going to go, aren't you?

But then if you know about- Wait, are you going to go, or do you want to stay with? I'm going to stay with. Oh, cool. I don't think I want a baby if I find out about boss babies. Why not? Not because of the fact I fear boss babies, but just because there's no... But you could have been a boss baby.

You might have been. Yeah, but forget about that. Who cares about me? Yeah, but as you as a father, you'd have been like, why? No, because then I don't want to have to make the decision, when does my baby forget? Yeah, but you made that decision, maybe potentially, when you were a boss baby. If I made that decision, awesome.

But what if my boss baby doesn't make that decision? Then I have to make the decision. Well, you're not, though, because you're like, oh, this is your mission. Whenever you're ready to forget. Forget. Forget. Until then, I guess we'll be pals and I'll become your dad later. But no one's forcing the boss baby to become a baby.

No, that's true. They're all doing it by their own choice because if they don't want to be a baby, they just go back to the baby realm. Most of the boss babies don't.

Exactly. I mean, by and large, the boss babies seem to stay in the heavens. It just seems Tim is the problem or the opposite of a problem. Solution? He's a weird guy.

I guess, yeah, I've had a boss baby that would be chill and then I'd be like, did you come out of my wife's pussy? Where the hell did you come from? Did you just mind why me? I'd be like, did you come out of my wife's pussy? Where the hell have you come from? Did you just mind why me?

I would be like, when I die, will I go to baby Rome? Or is it just nothing? No, no, no, no, no, no. There's nothing, dude. It's just fucking... Maybe it's on the other end and then you just... And then you're back into a baby. That's what I would assume.

It's a whole reincarnation. Six feet of dirt and total darkness. Worms and crabs, dude. If you were buried in the beach. Yeah, worms and crabs all the way down. Sometimes in mountains, too. That's where you can find some weird mountain crabs. Yeah, that's true.

I had found a lobster in a mountain once. Yeah, man. Crabs get around. A crayfish, yeah. Crabs get around. I was halfway up a mountain on a hike. There was a group in front of me. They said, careful, there's a crayfish on the track.

I said, what the fuck? The fuck you saying? Then I looked down. There was a tiny little blue crayfish on the track. I said, what the fuck? What the fuck are you saying? Then I looked down. There was a tiny little blue crayfish doing this because he was freaking out. And he was like, was that a yabby? It was like a yabby.

Halfway up a mountain. There was a stream going down. There was a stream at the very bottom but it was quite steep and quite far away from the yabby. And then I looked it up, and in Australia, we have mountain yaks. We have two breeds. We have a really aggressive one and a really placid one. This one was aggressive.

Yeah, he was angry. Because, I mean, he didn't know what was happening. He was just walking up the path. Yeah, he was having a lovely stroll. And there was these giant guys, and it was like, hey, fuck you! It was just so fucked up to see a yobby It was like seeing a fish just like swimming along a football It's like you're lost

You gotta get home Why is everyone here all of a sudden is my territory going Walking around yeah, there's a group behind me. I was like, be careful. This sounds insane. There's a yabby just there. Okay. Yeah. So I guess, yeah, you're not making the decision for the boss baby yourself.

The boss baby's making the decision himself. Well, in that case, yeah, whatever. It just means that you get a trial run of a baby. Being friends with your baby. Yeah, where you're friends with your baby for a bit. But then if it just chooses to stay with you, then you're like, I remember you. You were a little man. But their personality, because it seems like Ted grows into actual adult.

Yeah, I think that Boss Baby argues really in that, like, we are set in stone as to who will become. Determinist kind of. Which basically it's like if you have a baby, you get a baby, and before you get it as a baby, you get to experience it as a 40-year-old. You get to hang out with your 40-year-old baby for a bit. Oh, that's nice.

That's in a way. Because you're like, oh, usually, depending when you have a child, you're like, oh, yeah, I will never see you when you're 40 because I'll be dead. Yeah, that's true. You get to be like, that's age for you. 40, I would say at the moment now, your kid being 40 is probably the point where you're like, yeah, my brain will probably be going by then.

People watching this podcast are like, by then? And then when, you know, finally, like your kid is 40 and you're like pushing 80 something, you're just like, I remember you and you were a little boy. You were a boss, baby. You were you, but baby. Of course I was, dad. All right, dad. Of course I was a boss baby. Time to go to sleep now, dad.

I've been killed by my own boss baby. I knew this was going to happen. It's going to happen. I invented fuck. I invented fuck. You did. That's awesome. Yeah, man.

Not as awesome as, well, I guess I was going yeah man not as awesome well I guess I was gonna say not as awesome as common pussies but that's literally what I was just talking about what I was about to say

made no sense in a podcast that's at best hanging on by a thread yes there's a lot going on with the whole

it's really concerning and I think I think you asked about like theology at the very start. And I think maybe- Jesus Christ was a boss baby. Hey, reincarnation might give credence to a lot more.

But is it reincarnation? That's faith, baby. I suppose so. That's faith. I suppose so. Would you change- Because I know we have pre-existence. So I'm guessing I'd be like, well, maybe that's reincarnation.

Maybe if you were a piece of shit in the pre-existence life, you'd become management. Yeah, that's true. Makes a lot of sense. Though they do seem to love it. The numbers add up. Pieces of shit often love being pieces of shit. That's true. Yeah, if you're a piece of shit but love being piece of shit, or you live a good life, you become management.

There are actually two ways to Nirvana. Both equally holy paths. I said paths. Both equally holy paths to achieve Nirvana, i.e. working for BabyCorp.

And protecting the world from threats to babies, which is what they do. So what's the existential crisis or whatever in Boss, boss baby? Don't worry about it. Okay. Fair enough. Or alternatively.

Worry about it a lot. You got two choices. The existential crisis, okay, you can either not engage and don't worry about it. Or you can let it eat you alive. And destroy every single thing you know about being a person. Exactly. You're there. You're every single thing you know about being a person. Exactly. You're there. You're in a quiet moment at night.

You're sitting there next to your spouse, and you're thinking, I have a boss baby. And the other day, we went to the park, and it was really sweet. I got to push him on the thing, and it was really nice. I'm pretty sure he giggled. I mean, look, it's a boss baby, and I know that that's probably them faking it for the people around there. But I had a good time, and that's a really good memory for me.

But I will know that that baby will go away soon and that memory is gone. I remember these lovely, cherished feelings about being a father of, don't engage, baby! So you're having thoughts like that about how you love spending time with this child that's going to grow into not your child, but then into a different child that's your child.

I'll be in bed being like, if I was a bus baby, that means that my life was always on this path. What the fuck? I'm going to get my bus baby to look at my taxes. I think I'm fucking it up

and I reckon he's got a real good handle on it. Maybe this bus baby could be a better head of family than me. Okay, bus baby, you're the dad now. You're the dad now. Put him in my bed.

I climb into his crib. Oh, dude. This is a weight off my shoulders. That's nice. Let's get into a diaper. There we go. You can clean me now. And give me that little baby.

Now Boss Baby's calling Baby Corp and being like, I want off this assignment. Yeah. Alternatively, he's just taking the pacifier out. Yeah. Nothing. He'll have to look after me this way now. Yep. Goo-goo-ga-ga, bitch.

Honey. The baby's faking. The baby's faking it, man. He's a little fake. He's like, you know, the baby's like a guy. Look, it's saying goo-goo-ga-ga, but it called me a bitch before. Honey, trust me.

Also, you didn't even give birth to this baby, I'm pretty sure. Honey. Maybe we need some sleep. Honey, see this baby? Your pussy didn't come out of it. Didn't come out of it, called me a bitch. I don't think the baby called you a bitch. You wouldn't know, because it's a fucking boss baby. It's a boss baby, but it's faking. Yeah You wouldn't know Because it's a fucking boss baby

It's a boss baby But it's faking Yeah yeah yeah It's a boss baby It actually came here in a little suit Yeah It's from baby realm It's from baby corp

And it came down here To surveil us Babe When's the last time you had a sleep I can't sleep Because the boss baby Might fucking kill me Come here

Come here Let's go to sleep Let's go to sleep If you sleep you die When a boss baby's around. I'm lying there over my wife's shoulder, the baby's mouth, and I'm like, bitch. Why does a baby hate me? Bitch, you're dead.

You sleep, I'll slit your throat. My mission is to fucking kill you. Hon, I think the boss baby's gone rogue. I don't think this is a sanctioned assignment for baby court. Honey, I'm very scared. I'll slit your throat while you sleep, you bitch. You little bitch. No one will believe you.

Because you can't tell your story because you'll be dead. Bitch. I might stay at a hotel for a while. Take the baby with you. No. No, no, no, no. You keep it here. You need to lie down, hon. I don't with you. No. No, no, no, no. You keep it here. You need to lie down, hon.

I don't want to. It's okay. The baby's going to kill me. Yeah. Yeah, it'll be fine. Yeah, you're right. Either let it eat you alive or ignore it.

Those are your options when you learn about the boss baby. Oh, right. Right. Okay, cool. Oh, the baby? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Cool, cool, cool. Let the baby eat you like a piranha. Or ignore it until it just goes away. It will consume you, kind of like when the younger generation eats the old. Yeah, exactly. Classic old tales of time. The baby's eating me from the feet up.

Well, this is not what I expected. Chomp, chomp, chomp, bitch. And on that note, I've been Joel. The baby's eating me from the feet up. Yeah. Wow, this is not what I expected from fatherhood to be like. Chomp, chomp, chomp, bitch. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. And the boss baby's pretty fucked up.

Yeah. This one goes out to all those boss baby heads out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're welcome. This one's for you, okay? This one's, it's for the real ones. Yeah.

We shouldn't have taught our boss baby to swear. He's a potty mouth. Boss baby knows. Boss baby comes out full swearing. What's up, cunts? I'm your fucking baby. Bitch. $20 in your pocket.

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