Plumbing the Death Star - What Did We Think of the Avengers 2 AoU? (Feat. Mr Sunday Movies & Alli)
Episode Date: May 6, 2015In which our heroes come ready with opinions, observations and their general feelings on what they thought of the latest cinematic masterpiece from Marvel Studios. We discuss how right and wrong our p...rediction were, give James some free material for his next ‘Every Easter Egg in the Avengers’ YouTube video and compare a lot of things to Empire Strikes Back. Zammit was mildly entertained, James loved it, Duscher is angry and Alli is just happy to have been allowed in the studio. So listen in as four adults talk about that movie where a bunch of guys are fighting robots on a floating island where one of them has a bow. There will be spoilers, in fact, it’s all spoilers. Want to help fund a machine that will help with our predictions? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can contribute to us knowing things slightly before they happened.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least eleven books on analysing the mise-en-scènee. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey, guys, and welcome to this...
Wait, hang on.
Another special... Oh, yeah. Another... Hey, hang on. Another special mid-week episode.
Another...
Hey guys...
Hmm.
I'll think about it before I say it, because that's usually my problem.
Hey guys, and welcome to this mid-week special of Plumbing the Death Star.
We ask the important questions like, what did we think of the Avengers? All right, so just a quick follow-up.
Not a quick follow-up.
Before we start, spoilers.
There will be spoilers.
If you haven't seen The Avengers 2 Age of Ultron,
stop listening, go out and watch it or not and listen.
Either way, we'll save you $8.
We'll tell you what to do.
$8, $20.
How much is cinema tickets now, guys?
$17.
What is it?
I don't actually know.
I just always put it on card because I'm such a rich man.
It doesn't even matter.
I just go to Medusa and just don't pay.
Oh, right. It's been great for me.
It's $20 for adult tickets.
Did you guys see it in 2D or 3D?
2D.
Lucky sons of bitches.
And I spent a good five minutes in front of the
vending machine which told me I could get 3D glasses
that looked like Thor
and Captain America. Together?
No.
They had all different types.
So it was like a vending machine full of 3D glasses.
You can get plain ones.
You could get ones that were like a dollar.
You could get ones that looked like the Captain America, Hulk, Thor,
the other ones.
I think Hawkeye was in there.
Would you bring them to another movie?
Would you go see Driving Miss Daisy 3D and wear your Thor helmet glasses?
Maybe.
They had ones that looked like aviators and Ray-Bans and things like that too.
I have aviator ones, but I...
Stop trying to make 3D cool, guys.
Yeah, get rid of it.
Stop.
It's the worst.
Just give up.
Pay more to watch it darker.
That's what you're doing, essentially.
Yeah, so Avengers, straight off the bat, what did we think?
Disappointed. Had a time.
I liked it. I thought it was pretty good.
I saw it, okay, I've seen it twice.
I saw it twice in two days. It didn't
diminish in quality, but I walked out both times being like
that was okay. I had the opportunity
to see it twice. I chose not to.
I just, I don't know, I was a little bit
disappointed. I loved the film as
the scenes, as moments, character
really great, but as a scenes, there's moments, character, really great,
but as a whole, as a film,
as what was kind of spruiked
as going to be the darker
end of the Marvel Cinematic Universe
is our Empire Strikes Back.
I think it was spruiked for ages.
People throw that around a lot. They do.
With the soldier was your Empire Strikes Back, you fucking
idiots. You can't have two
Empire Strikes Back. you've got to have
a return of the Jedi
there somewhere
you bloody dickheads
so yeah
there was moments
there I was like
these are really
sort of cool
but there were some
especially the end
I felt
it just sort of
tied everything up
in a little bow
which I think is my problem
with a lot of
Marvel cinematic
universe films anyway
it was very neat
wasn't it
a lot of kind of like, this is happening next time
and this is happening and this is happening.
Bye.
Yeah.
It felt like a trailer for Civil War and Infinity War.
Next Avengers stuff.
Which, like, that's cool.
And Thor.
Thor.
Actually, they teased Ragnarok a lot.
Thor did that, yeah.
Thor did some things.
Yeah.
He had some adventures that were irrelevant.
Had a swim. Had a bit of that were irrelevant. Had a swim.
Had a bit of a cave bath.
They cut a lot of that out, I reckon.
They reckon it was an hour longer.
Oh, wow.
Something like that.
Maybe it's 40 minutes.
And it's all just Thor having a bath.
Doing laps for the cave pool.
When does this kick in?
How many laps?
Everyone's just like, just keep being shirtless, Chris.
It's fine.
Just keep being shirtless.
I'm a very strong believer in, like,
a 90-minute film is the perfect length film,
but Avengers felt like that it had been edited too tightly.
There was a lot of stuff that probably needed a bit more room to breathe.
Yeah, either a bit more room to breathe or just cut completely.
It kind of took ages to take off, I felt, as well.
Well, actually, I had the opposite of that.
It opened just in fucking action.
Like, I thought it was going to... Yeah, but it was just like, I had the opposite of a problem. It opened in fucking action. Like, I thought it was
a long shot.
Yeah, but it was just like,
oh, the Avengers
doing their thing.
And there was no real point
to the overarching storyline
of that movie.
It was just wrapping up
the last movie.
It was totally like,
oh, this is the last Hydra base.
But even then,
it was at the end of Hydra?
Yeah, because it was,
well, it was a shield Hydra
sort of thing.
And Strucker was working for S.H.I.E.L.D. So, yeah, what happened between Winterra? Yeah, because it was a shield Hydra sort of thing. And Strucker was working for shield.
So, yeah, what happened between Winter Soldier?
Well, actually, what happened after Iron Man 3?
Because Tony was like, hey, no more Iron Man.
Hanging up my suit or blowing up my suit.
I'm not going to be Iron Man because I am Iron Man.
Also, I don't like having robot me.
He's going to blow them all up.
By the way, we have an Iron Army now.
Yes.
Is that the Iron Legion?
Iron Legion, yeah. Because that's in the end of the third like iron man 3 and then he's like pepper's like
no and he's like you know you're right no but he can make one of them in like 30 minutes yeah it's
like it's like for him but it's like microwave popcorn you hit a button and then that just
shoots out but he would have had to make his suits like the ones he's wearing differently
because he doesn't have an arc reactor anymore so he would have actually to make his suits, like, the ones he's wearing differently because he doesn't have an arc reactor anymore.
So he would have actually had to have put...
Yeah, they all have.
Yeah, but, like, prior to that, they would have just been powered by his.
Yeah, yeah, but they still worked independently of him.
I think they all still had it because Pepper put one on at one point.
Yeah, because that's how she killed...
And Rhodey.
Yeah.
Hey, look, maybe he didn't need to fix his suits.
Maybe they were fine.
I still...
They needed a bit of a better bridge between the last few films
and this one. Do you mean a better bridge than
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.?
Was there
a bridge with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.?
Because I have lots of...
What do you guys call it? Something in
SEALs? It was Zoe's mum
called it Asians in SEALs.
I just stuck.
Alright, nah, that's good.
It seems borderline offensive. Probably. Well, that show, that's good. It's just, I don't know.
It seems borderline offensive.
Probably.
Well, that shows borderline offensive.
That's Zoe's mum, who's a racist, probably.
So I think, yeah, a bridge from especially Iron Man and Winter Soldier,
because, again, what happened at the end of Winter Soldier?
Captain America's like, fucking S.H.I.E.L.D.?
Now he's like, welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D. Yeah, he crashed helicarriers and he was like, what up?a's like, fucking S.H.I.E.L.D. What a piece of shit. Now he's like, welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D.
Yeah, he crashed Halle Carrows and he was like, what up?
But they're not with S.H.I.E.L.D.
It takes a while to come back.
No, but they're working.
It's just them.
No, no, it's not.
Hold on.
Well, having a little bit of a brain explosion.
Welcome to the show, Alison.
Thank you.
Or Ali, whichever one you prefer.
Doesn't matter.
You prefer Ali.
Welcome to the show, Ali.
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
I'm going to call you Alison now. Oh, Thank you. I'm going to call you Alison now.
Oh, my God.
I'm going to call you Kathleen.
No, Dazzler.
You're like a Dazzler.
I hate you guys.
Kathleen Dazzler.
So much.
What were you going to say?
I don't care.
Okay.
I know you don't.
But they're not working with S.H.I.E.L.D.
They're working as the Avengers.
And it's all because Robin Shabatsky comes in.
I don't know who her fucking name is.
Maria Hill.
Whatever.
Yeah, Robin.
Aunt Robin comes in and says something to Iron Man.
And he's like, oh, no, this isn't my bizzo.
It's Captain America's.
It's just that I pay for all of it.
They've got nothing to do with S.H.I.E.L.D. at that point.
And it's only until Nick Fury... Spoilers, spoilers, spoilers!
Nick Fury comes back that they're like,
oh, look, our boss is back, but there's still no...
He doesn't really have connections within S.H.I.E.L.D.
until right near the end.
Is S.H.I.E.L.D. even back, or is he just like,
these are some guys that I got?
Is S.H.I.E.L.D. back?
No, I think S.H.I.E.L.D. is...
Because S.H.I.E.L.D. is Hydra now.
S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't really exist, because at the end of the film... No, it does exist in the ages of S.H.I.E.L.D. back? No, I don't think S.H.I.E.L.D. is... Because S.H.I.E.L.D. is Hydra now. S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't really exist.
Because at the end of the film...
No, it does exist in the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
There's Coulson's S.H.I.E.L.D.
And there's Battlestar Galactica's S.H.I.E.L.D.
We mentioned that S.H.I.E.L.D. 30 seconds ago
and I still forgot it existed.
But Joss Whedon said that they're two different worlds
and there's people...
In the movie universe, Coulson is dead.
He's not coming back.
But in S.H.I. not coming back but in Shield he obviously is
yeah he was like
I regret bringing him back
from the dead
how are you going to make
like Agents of Shield
otherwise
I guess probably
with another character
but yeah
he's not even the same
character in that show though
he's not funny
or interesting
he looks the same
he doesn't really
occasionally shoots a guy
and he sits on a plane
and yells at people
yeah
Cree blood
does that to you
Cree blood yeah
takes away your sense of humor replaces it with models of cities.
Gets you all riled up, mate.
But makes you immortal, so I guess that's good.
Yeah.
Does that mean that show's going forever?
Yes.
God.
Because now we're getting a spin-off of a show we didn't really want.
Oh, yeah.
Mockingbird and her ex-husband.
British guy.
British man.
Yay! Maybe, hey, Mockingbird was the ex-husband. British guy. British man. Yay.
Maybe, hey, Mockingbird was the wife of Hawkeye in the comics.
Oh, okay.
I do like her, though.
Adriana Palicki or something.
I like her.
Maybe we'll get a Jeremy Renner cameo in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
spin-off.
Jason.
Speaking of Hawkeye's wife i like that part of
the film yeah where hawkeye had a wife that was definitely family yeah it was no it was
valva sorry you're right lind uh lindsey from from freaks and geeks yeah that was really cool
i like that aspect of him having a wife and kids i thought it was really shitty foreshadowed i don't
have a girlfriend moment that and then no that annoyed me it was even more annoying
because like
I don't have a girlfriend
and then like
three scenes later
I'm on the phone to
my girlfriend
just say your wife
you bloody idiot
yeah
no one cares
like
Natasha already knows
about her
yeah
but it's weird
she wore an arrow necklace
in Winter Soldier
I think it's because
they're best friends
I wear a necklace of my best friend,
like something that signifies him or her.
We wear friendship bracelets.
Yeah, that's why it's different.
There's kind of like the equivalent of those little heart necklaces
that were broken in half and one says like B-E Fry,
so B-Fry, and the other one says like Ist and...
Yeah.
That's what it is and that's what it is
you put it together
you get like a tattoo of half a love heart
on your arm they get the same thing
so when you're together you just join arms
and you make a complete tattoo
and how good
everyone's like you guys so kooky and lovely
that's about a best friend thing though
I wouldn't get a love heart with my best friends
I have no friends
let alone a best one thing, though. I wouldn't get a love heart with my best friends. I have no friends.
Let alone a best one.
You're not committed enough.
I've got the love heart tattoo on my arm,
so I just put my arms together,
and it just says, you don't need anyone else.
You're the greatest.
And then a winky emoticon.
Joel Dusha forever is what my tattoo says.
I thought that the movie was very much the Hawkeye and Natasha movie.
They ruined Black Widow.
But they really did make it.
They filled in all those gaps that the other Avengers films and all the other films, like, you know, Scarlett Johansson
has little bits all throughout and Hawkeye has none except for Thor.
He's in Thor.
He's like, I'm going to stand on a tower.
Yeah, and he's going to like, I can potentially shoot
one thing but then I won't.
But then I did. I can't
remember. I did like that moment where Hawkeye just
raises both a quicksilver. He's like, no one would
know! That was a really cool moment.
He's super sassy in this film, I like it.
Also, he's very ambitious if he thinks he's going to hit
him. Yeah.
I like that about him.
I've semi-turned
towards liking Hawkeye
but not enough
but it's there
yeah he's definitely better
so I think
we'll have a bit of structure
to this episode
and we'll discuss this
like we weren't you know
10-15 minutes
into the episode
that's a good place
to bring in structure
we do it every time
every time
so I'm thinking
maybe we'll go
we'll start with like
overall storyline
and then we'll go
for characters
and other stuff.
Sure.
Love it.
No, good.
Good.
All right, storyline-wise, how are we all with the fact
that the gem of Loki Pokey Stick was actually an Infinity Gem?
I was surprised by that.
No surprise.
It was a different color.
I mean, I knew it was Infinity Gem,
but I didn't know they were going to use it for what they used it for.
Yeah, I thought that was really cool.
One of the predictions we made was that it was going to be
the soul gem in Vision's head, but it's the mind gem.
They changed the colour on us.
That's how they got us.
Yes.
That's how they got us.
Sneaky.
Fucking sneaky.
I did like the connection between Vision and Adam Warlock
that they sort of did make with the big speech of, like,
you know, I am.
And there's a sort of correlation between Adam Warlock
when he was sort of created by man.
I didn't pick up on that at all.
Here's one thing you may have missed in Avengers Age of Ultron.
Adam Warlock was created by scientists.
And they called him I am when he was first sort of born.
That's what he called himself sort of thing.
So it looks like Vision is sort of taking on that aspect of Adam Warlock.
And if we ever do get Adam Warlock in the, you know,
Infinite Wars or the cocoon being bursted from Guardians,
it'll probably be a different version.
So it looks like it won't be scientist made or man made.
It might be an actual alien.
Okay.
I'm writing this down.
Cool.
Because I'm doing an Easter egg video.
There's an Easter egg for you.
You're welcome.
That's a free one.
That is.
We're keeping this in the episode, though,
so the crowd can follow us.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I like the whole vision creation,
but we'll get back to it eventually.
That's the end of the story.
Ultron.
Ultron as a villain I thought was really cool.
I thought James Spader, he's acting beautiful.
Very good.
They made him too good too quickly.
Not as in good guy good.
Too powerful?
Too shiny and new too quickly.
My favourite scene with Ultron was the first fight scene where he was like...
Because we'd been promised that he was going to go through a few different versions.
Many forms.
He was in two forms.
Or three.
His Megatron form was his last form.
Looked a lot like Megatron, right?
He did look a lot like Megatron, yeah.
The trailer made it seem like he was the Iron Man as well.
Like the Iron Man.
Was it Veronica?
Hulk poster?
Yeah, the Hulk whatever.
It made it look like that was him as well.
So they lied.
I think the first trailer did.
I think they show him in Iron Man in the
Tony Stark in the suit
in later trailers
yeah
I always assumed that was
Tony Stark
one of the later trailers shows
Hulk's eyes all like red
so you know that he's being possessed
so everyone's like
no Scarlet Witch do you
oh Scarlet Witch
or Ultron
because Ultron
has that inside too
Ultron doesn't have the power
in the movie
but in the comic book
he can possess people
blah blah
also the
stick yeah the stick.
Yeah.
The stick.
The Loki stick?
Yes.
So anyone can use that Loki stick.
I guess so.
Apparently.
Sweet.
How did you miss that?
That's the whole bit.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Loki uses it.
Yeah.
No one else uses it.
And then.
A robot uses it.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
Like that.
Okay.
Although robots don't count as people, as we learned from Vision picking up Thor's hammer. Also an't know that. Yeah. Like that, okay. Although robots don't count as people as we learned from
Vision picking up Thor's hammer. Yes. Also an elevator.
Also an elevator. It's not a person.
We've fucked up your structure
already because we're behind. Yeah.
Story. Story. Alright.
Film opens with the Avengers
all together. A plot of
Ultron being created, fucking shit up,
wanting to destroy the Earth. I thought that was really cool.
I thought that we were going to get a bit more
of Ultron's changing forms.
Did we get a scene?
It was in the trailer where it looked like
there was a foundry place,
and Ultron was going through, pouring metal on himself.
We did have that scene.
You're absolutely right.
Where was that scene?
That wasn't.
There was a lot of stuff cut.
I was thinking he was going to melt down the vibranium
and pour it on himself and be like an awesome reverse Terminator.
Instead he just crushed his own head.
Yeah.
Like there was no point for that.
He just wasted a good robot.
You could have used two Ultrons.
Yeah, you could have just stared at next to him
like what doesn't kill you makes you better.
And there's two of you.
What?
Wasteful.
Neglectful is what that is.
I guess Black Widow was probably a bit spooked
by a man tearing himself in half just to finish a sentence.
I'll be like, you're a robot.
I don't care.
Yeah.
I'm probably going to kill you at the end of the film anyway.
Or at least one of my friends will.
Yeah.
I did like how he was using a lot of Stark's words as well.
Yeah.
And Andy Serkis, I just want to say, what a champ.
He's great.
What a cameo.
What a cameo.
Yeah. Bit player? Something. He was really good, though. He's great. What a cameo. What a cameo. A bit player?
Something.
He was really good, though.
He was really good.
I can't wait to see him in Black Panther.
Yes, another set-up for a different movie.
Took his arm off as well.
Yeah.
That'll be coming back.
Did he karate chop it off, or did he tear it off?
He karate chopped it off.
He's like, oh, shit, I'm so sorry.
That was pretty great.
And did you see his little claw in the background?
I didn't see the claw in the background.
I'm just giving you some little...
Man, write this down, please.
All right, hang on.
Everybody wait while I write this down.
Yeah, you saw his, because what Ulysses' claw is known for,
he's got this weird thing on his arm which shoots sound waves or whatever,
because metal does that in the Marvel Universe now.
Absolutely.
Vibranium.
Antique would be like the opposite of vibranium,
because instead of absorbing vibrations.
Soundbranium.
Yeah, soundbranium.
So he has that,
you can kind of see
in the background,
you're like,
he's going to put that
in his little stump.
That's cool.
So I thought
he was curious.
It was really cool.
And again,
this movie was full
of great moments,
but just the end
didn't,
I didn't like it.
I don't think there was
as many great moments
that the first Avengers
had though.
Like,
there was way less standout scenes in this film, I feel.
You had the opening one with the Strucker's base.
That was pretty fucking rad.
It was pretty cool, but it's not like you...
But it happened too quickly.
And also, it's not like I'm going to sit back and be like,
whoa, that scene!
Where, like, in the first Avengers,
there's a bunch of scenes where you're like, whoa.
Like, Hulk just smashing Loki?
There was nothing like that.
Oh, yeah, I'll pay that.
You had, let's see, the fight, the little fight between,
the kind of set up for Civil War.
Oh, yeah.
The fight between Captain America and Iron Man.
Which I thought was really cool.
I don't know why Hawkeye was on board, like, taking down Pietro in that,
because he didn't hear what was going on.
He was like, fucking Quicksilver.
Isn't he deaf as well?
We've talked about that before.
No, because he doesn't like, I don't think,
because Captain America is the only one who knows that the twins are on his side.
Yeah.
So I would imagine that Hawkeye would be like, I hate that guy.
Yeah, but you notice, like, when Hawkeye buggers off,
then Tony Stark decides to be like, okay, he's out of the way.
Hey, Banner, we need to do this thing because I don't want anyone to hear me.
And so then that whole happens and then Pietro's like,
fuck these guys, I'll do it myself.
And then, yeah, Hawkeye's like, oh, that kid.
Look at that arrow in his face.
So that was a cool scene.
And the birth of Vision was really awesome.
I liked that a lot.
That was super cool.
Paul Bettany, guys.
Yeah, he was great.
It only took me
till the end credits
to figure out who it was.
When it said Vision,
Paul Bettany?
No, it just said Paul Bettany.
But yeah.
No, I got that
and I was like,
of course,
because I'm like,
I'm picturing,
I'm picturing,
and I was like,
I know it's Jarvis.
I got on board for that
and I'm absolutely
115% sure
that when I watch Iron Man, I was like, who is that guy? So I on board for that. And I'm absolutely 115% sure that when I watch Iron Man,
I was like, who is that guy?
So I do this every time.
And I'm like, I feel like he's in a tennis outfit.
I don't know why.
Yeah, Wimbledon.
He's in the Wimbledon movie.
He is in Wimbledon.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, sorry.
Night Cell?
Yeah, he's Chaucer.
Naked dude.
Yeah.
Is there a bit where he plays some sort of army
person? He's in Master and Commander.
He's Russell Crowe's
commander.
Anyway.
So I thought that that scene was
really well done. And just the whole thing,
he tries to get out and he sees his reflection and it
was like, what? I really like how he was like
sick cape Thor. Yes.
That was a nice little time. And they didn't say it. They weren't like, I like your cape. I'm gonna like, sick cape Thor. Yes! And they didn't say it,
they weren't like, I like your cape, I'm gonna have
the same cape, he just did it. Yeah.
That was cool, and nobody acknowledged it.
I acknowledged it.
Sick cape!
And then I clapped,
and then I turned and faced the audience and got them to
clap too.
Everyone was like, it is a sick cape.
Yeah. Good times
I really like that Vision is
Part Ultron, part Tony Stark
Part Thor, sort of
And part Banner
He's got a little bit of everything
I did love the science montage at the start as well
Oh that was fun
That was a good use of a montage
They're doing science together
Just quickly reminded everyone that Tony Stark is a laid-back dude
and Banner's just all business because, yeah, not good.
So that was great.
The party scene was good, but the whole film just felt like
there was moments of just filler.
I felt the party scene went on for a good while
and it was a real way to kind of say,
hey, guys, this isn't like the be-all and end-all film.
This is a part of a larger universe.
This is a bit where we set up a little bit.
We set up some tensions.
We set up this, that and the other.
It was fun.
Like I enjoyed it.
Having a little bit of Stan Lee all up in that.
Having a time.
But I also was like, this has gone on for ages.
I think the party scene was my favourite scene in the whole film.
Of course it is.
But there was some character moments in that.
Like I loved War Machine
party scene
from the start of the party
to the end of that
first Ultron fight
would probably be
my favourite chunk
of the film
so not just
the party
I did like the party though
I liked the party
and I liked the hot
lifting the hammer thing
and then leading into the
because Ultron's first appearance
was my favourite appearance
of his
because it was sort of
like a horror movie
kind of thing
because he was just really intimidating.
He's like, you can't fight these guys, but you think you can
and that's scary.
Also because he looked sort of zombie-ass
and his speech was so menacing
and he was still clearly crazy, hadn't figured out
what was going on. Sick.
I did love that part as well.
I did like his plan to be just like,
Meteor, fuck him, Meteor.
And just create this whole... So pure.
Yeah, it was beautiful.
And I think Scarlet Witch and Pietro,
when she finally is able to read his mind,
and she's playing Twigs, that was kind of cool.
But I thought just to be swooped into the Avengers
was a bit kind of like, come on, guys.
They didn't try and kill you.
Yeah, you're saying they shouldn't have.
There should be a trial period.
But I mean, look who welcomed them in.
Good point.
Our boy Clint.
What?
No.
Yes.
It was, wasn't it?
No, it was Captain America.
Oh, yeah.
It was my boy.
He's my favourite Avenger, too.
My boy.
I only say that because I have a friend who I know is listening right now,
and I'm just going to say.
Hello, Gabby.
No, his name is Will.
Hi, Gabby.
Hi, Will, Gabby.
And no, Chris Evans.
I'm on board.
And I think that if I met him, I would totally have a chance.
Guys, support me.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, no, no, no, yeah.
Anyway, but no, it was him.
It was him who sort of met them, and then when she says,
this is going wrong, and he's like, all right,
you're obviously on our ship now.
Let's chuff on off.
That scene or that kind of grabbing.
The trans scene was pretty cool.
That was very cool.
But like Captain America grabbing people who are clearly criminals,
it's sort of indicative of the Avengers of just,
we don't have any consequences.
We're kind of above the law.
Yeah.
Like, you know, Hulk levels a city.
No one's put a warrant out for Banner, so we're good, right?
He leveled a city.
No, they did.
They did get angry about Banner.
They said, we're not putting this.
The internet's calling for his arrest,
but there hadn't been a warrant put out.
Oh, sorry.
Then he chuffs off to maybe Fiji, but actually probably space.
He's hoping space.
And again, Tony Stark and Banner creating Ultron,
which is probably leading to a lot of deaths.
Yep.
So many.
At least five.
At least five.
They're not getting like, you know.
Maybe you should have done that.
At least one plus loss of an arm.
So that's still jail time.
What's that?
1.3?
1.3.
That's an arm worth. 3.3. That that's still jail time. What's that? 1.3? 1.3. That's an arm worth.
That's right.
One death, let's bring death to Quicksilver.
What did we feel? Think of that.
Anyone who listened to the previous episode would know that they wouldn't have been
surprised. I was still
surprised, because I really thought Hawkeye was going to
die. They really telegraphed that, didn't they?
Look at Hawkeye's wonderful family.
He's talking about, should I be in this team and whatever.
Don't worry.
This is my last mission.
When I come back, I'm going to build that little guest room or whatever.
You won't be able to tell the difference.
Like, you keep getting hurt.
No, it'll be fine.
It's fine.
I'm just a guy with a bow and arrow.
I was so convinced, though, when he's like, look,
you can't tell the difference.
And then she was like, I can't actually tell the difference.
And I thought as soon as Mark Ruffalo rocked up to save, you know,
Scarlett Johansson, and as soon as he was, I was like,
that's going to be Ultron or he's going to find a way to fix skin
or something or it's going to be a mental thing and that's not going
to be Mark Ruffalo.
And then she just, like, pushes him off.
I'm like, I've got this.
Someone's occupied him.
It wasn't.
No, I was completely wrong.
Just needed him to hold down.
I know.
To go green.
I was very disappointed.
This is why I'm not in charge of making predictions.
Quicksilver did die.
I thought he died in a very nice way.
You didn't see that coming.
I don't know how he would be able to speak after being shot by a minigun.
Everywhere.
There'd be a bit of Quicksilver in all of us.
Just saying.
Just a red mist.
He should be cut in half, let's be honest.
He can catch bullets, right?
Wait.
Well, not this Quicksilver.
I don't know, because he's fast enough in that fucking Ulysses Claw scene
for him to take the bullets out of a gun
and line them up on the thing
before he even realises what's happened.
That's true. I did like him trying to grab
Mjolnir. That was a good one.
Yeah, that was pretty good. Ah, yeah, that was cool.
I thought Hawkeye had the best
line, where he's like, look, we're in a
floating city fighting an army of robots
and I'm a guy with a bow and arrow. None of this
makes sense.
I just wish he looked to the camera when he said that. floating city fighting an army of robots and I'm a guy with a bow and arrow. None of this makes sense. Yeah.
It's like, yeah, that's, you're right.
I just wish you like looked to the camera when you said that.
That was a moment that I realised how self-aware that movie was of itself.
And I think that's why I really enjoyed it.
It was very, it knew how ridiculous it was, even as a superhero film.
I just thought it was kind of like a, I'm with you.
I feel the same way.
It was very cool.
Did you notice the effort to go out of the way
to be like,
let's get these civilians to safety?
Like, when the Hulkbuster took the Hulk
through the building as well,
like, yep, definitely nobody in that building.
Fuck you, Man of Steel.
That's what that was.
Exactly.
With the train as well.
Yeah, exactly.
They really went out of their way.
That was a good Quicksilver scene.
That was probably my favourite Quicksilver scene.
Reminded me of Spider-Man and the train.
Yeah.
Because both of them had trains in them.
One was a great film, but one was a pretty good film.
You be the judge.
No, I'll be the judge.
Spider-Man 2, great film.
It is a good film.
Avengers 2, pretty good film.
Pretty good.
Pretty good.
Yeah, Ultron was...
I thought how they defeated Ultron was also a pretty pretty nice moment i i did want and this is where um where i thought it could have been a
little bit darker and i hate going big should be more dark in goodie and asia i hate that kind of
concept but this was spruik this was sold to us as being a lot darker in the zone and i felt that
there should have been a lot more consequences to their actions than what we eventually got. You look at Iron Man, for example.
The end of Avengers 2, he ends where he was in the end of Iron Man 3, right?
He's just like, yeah, no, whatever.
He's like, catch you guys later.
I'm going to drive off in my car.
Exactly.
So the end of Iron Man 3 was him driving off in a car.
The end of Age of Ultron was him driving off in a car saying, I'm done.
Both times. How is that going to tie into Civil War, though? That's why. Because they try and tie. Agent Voltron will seem to drive off the car saying I'm done both times
how is that going to tie into Civil War though
I think that's going to be a big issue
they definitely tie in the
tension between
Steve Rogers and Tony Stark
but then at the end they're just like
nah you're my bro
but Tony Stark's not dead
it's not going to be hard to bring him back
no but you can't end on being bros.
Yeah, you can.
Because they've overcome the thing that separates them in Civil War already,
pretty much.
Well, not really.
The registration.
But, like...
I think I wanted a bit more of...
I love a heist movie.
Heists are my favourite movies.
I love them no matter what they are.
Do you love the heist?
Oh, I love the heist.
What a time.
How do you feel about Tower Heist?
You know what? It's my favourite love The Heist? Oh, I love The Heist. What a time. How do you feel about Tower Heist? You know what?
It's my favourite recent Eddie Murphy film, so yes.
Yeah, that...
Yep.
Favourite Brett Ratner film as well.
Red Dragon.
Oh, he did Red Dragon?
Red Dragon.
Fuck off.
I know, right?
I like that.
Red Dragon's great.
It's better than Hannibal.
In your face, Ridley Scott.
It is better than Hannibal.
Brett Ratner, I like some of your films.
Two.
Two of them.
Well, one and a half.
One and a half.
One and a half.
And I really wanted a bit more of the intro to be like,
we're getting the gang back together.
Team back together.
You know, we're putting the Avengers, you know, Avengers assemble.
I like how that was never said at the end.
It was great.
But I'd like to have that a little bit like Tony,
hey, you know you've given up being Iron Man,
but we need to get this from, you know, Strucker.
I thought that would have been a very nice intro
and then towards the end as well,
give him a reason to be like, no, I'm done with this
or this almost worked.
I need to do something a bit better now.
Like, hey, encasing the world of armor.
Because again, I thought that was a nice carry on from Iron Man 3, this whole need to protect everyone, still having a world of armor. Because, again, I thought that was a nice carry-on from Iron Man 3,
this whole need to protect everyone, still having a bit of PTSD.
I like that.
But at the end, he sort of, again, overcame it all
and he was still back to his usual self.
And I think they needed, I think Thor, I liked how he went,
he buggered off for a bit, but then he came back
and it was kind of like you had this nice moment
to really get rid of a lot of people yeah and the winning the the end when they destroy ultron was very sort of reminiscent
of a lot of the marvel universe where we kill the main bad guy let's have a party it was like that's
that you know new hope let's celebrate give us all medals and clap revels yes i don't know it
could have been a lot more darker like they, they could have won, but with consequences. Yeah, we lost Quicksilver,
and we probably should have lost a couple of others along the way as well.
I think introducing a character and killing them off
isn't really raising the stakes.
You're right.
They could have definitively lost the Hulk.
Because I feel like they left that ambiguous,
so they go, look, we'll see how this goes.
And we'll see what we can do.
How cool would it have been if there's one thing
where, like, Ultron,
he grabs the Hulk
because he knows he's a problem,
chucks him in the Quinjet,
and then he just
poof, off to space.
Yeah, absolutely.
That would have been cool.
That would have been awesome.
They should have lost him,
lost Thor,
killed Quicksilver,
which they did,
killed Hawkeye.
Yeah.
I think then there's consequences.
Yeah.
And that would have been, like,
a really great moment
because Thor,
he just buggers off because now he just wants to.
Yeah, he's like, ha, ha, ha, see you later.
I will miss these elevator chats.
Why?
We had some good times.
I'll have them.
And so I think him being trapped in hell would have been a cool moment
to sort of leave.
It's your hand solo frozen in carbonite.
You could have had your second Empire Strikes Back movie.
Something that's never been done before.
A second Empire Strikes Back.
Yeah, so have him sent to Hell.
Have Iron Man.
Have them win, but have them with consequences.
Like Quicksilver pushed Hawkeye and the kid out of the way
and he's had that little bit of self-sacrifice to save a couple of people.
But why not have Hawkeye being like how he dies in the Marvel Universe?
He's like, no, he didn't have to die in the Marvel Universe.
That was a dumb moment as well.
Disregard that.
But have him sort of being like, okay, I need to do something.
I need to press a button, but I need to be there to press that button.
Fuck, I'm going to die.
But it's for the greater good and, like, you know,
have him miss his wife and kids
or maybe even have a phone call
like the crank you know
where he calls his girlfriend
on the way down
have something like that
longest phone call
in cinematic history
as an air twirl
out of a helicopter
and have something like that
you know
you could pull some heart strings
and have Hawkeye die
because I think
you just needed to really
I feel like you can't
sacrifice a character
to save someone
and then kill that character
in the next scene because everyone would be like
you know that reaction you had in Looper? How you're like
too dark and gritty! I hate this!
And I will never let go of the fact that you walked
out of that film with that opinion. So anytime you suggest
something dark, fuck you. Mason
hates Looper. Good. I will.
Come on Mason, get on the show
you son of a bitch. Hey, do you want to start a Looper podcast
that's just called Fuck Joel and Mason?
The Looper podcast. Or Mason, do you want to start a looper podcast it's just called fuck joel and mason or mason do you want to reply to my text that'd be nice did he not reply to your text
still not still not 20 days in county he can't be goaded he's got an iron resolve which i respect
so do you think in the next movie then civil war t, Tony Stark's going to turn up and be like, right, new plan.
Yeah.
And he's going to, we're going to register everybody or whatever.
Yeah.
So that's what he's going to do.
I feel like the Iron, it'll probably, Civil War will probably reveal that the Iron Legion has been out and about still.
Oh, okay.
Like Tony has just not learned from Ultron at all.
But I wanted that in Ultron.
I wanted him to just not learn.
I wanted him to be like, hey Cap, well done.
We did good. So I'm off to save the world
again by doing some other
you know utilitarian plan
well you get hints of it but they bring the
hints in at the start of the film and then don't
like the fact that when the Iron Legion
land in the European country
that they're sort of
whatever. Slevinly clear. Yeah
and how the citizens
nailed it. Yeah one of the good job yeah. And how the citizens... Nailed it. Yeah, one of the...
Good job.
Yeah, like one of the citizens
throws a bottle of acid or something.
At the Legion?
Yeah.
And there's graffiti in the background
where it's like Tony Stark...
Dollar signs and stuff.
So clearly people don't feel that strongly for him,
but the film just doesn't build on that.
It's just like, hey, is it?
There are hints at it.
There are hints at it a lot in other previous films as well,
being like the Avengers have fucked up a lot of shit
and look how much we have to fix now.
Maybe they should be more responsible for their actions.
And I think it's those subtle undertones that will really start
to come out in Civil War.
I hope so.
I hope it's that sort of we've done some bad things,
consequences come to bite us in Civil War. I hope so. I hope it's that sort of we've done some bad things, consequences come to bite us in the ass.
Like we did see with Tony in this, you know, with Pietro,
like we sat there for six days looking at Tartstark waiting
for him to kill us.
That was great.
Yeah.
And him being like, Tony being like, I knew Ulysses' claw.
I knew him dealing with some art.
Might have sold him some shit.
No, he's like, I didn't sell him some stuff.
I met him at a convention.
I met that two-armed man.
Why'd you bring that up?
He just seemed very armful.
I don't know.
I kind of thought that Tony was lying,
to be honest.
He could have been.
I just thought...
He was surprised an Iron Man
went over to Ice Day
and selling his stuff.
And he's like,
what?
That's true. What a dickhead, though. Yeah. And he's like, what? That's true.
What a dickhead, though.
Yeah.
Know what's going on in your business, mate.
Don't trust anyone with an upside down face.
He doesn't regret any of his previous sort of things.
Not openly, really.
No.
I think what we're going to get is that this is going to be the second film in what will
be the Avengers Falling Apart trilogy, which started in Winter Soldier and will conclude in Civil War.
I think his regret will come when Captain America gets shot in Civil War.
And dies.
Which will happen.
And he's got him on the steps and he's like,
no, what have I done?
I finally realise I'm a total arsehole.
God, I'm a piece of shit.
My sass will not save him now.
What have I done? It's all about
me!
Pepper comes along.
Could have been a contender.
So yeah,
what do you think is actually going to happen in Civil War?
What is going to be that... Because we can't
do it about registration in terms of
unmasking because it just doesn't...
Unmasking and secret energy just doesn't exist
in this universe. Everybody's unmasked. Not really.
Except for Daredevil, I guess.
But they're not going to be...
Iron Man come in. You!
Blind man! Do yourself!
That's why
Steve Rogers is like, whoa.
Hey, I'm from the 1940s
and that's not on.
Even I know that's not on.
Next to him is beating this blind man.
Steve's there just, Tony, what are you doing?
He's disabled.
Stop it, man.
I feel like Tony's definitely going to be the head
and the face of his campaign.
Like I think it's going to be a very political side
from his point of view because he'll always fall back
into the suit because he can't help himself. But I think it'll be a very political side from his point of view because he'll always fall back into the suit
because he can't help himself but i think it'll be a huge part i kind of got an idea
yeah like it's his run for presidency that would be how good i think it's i think it's definitely
going to have a political spin to it fucking you know jfk got us asked that this person would i
have a fucking iron suit i'm invincible invincible. Invincible Iron Man.
Do you think they'll be like, the anti-Stark campaigns will be like,
Tony Stark built that robot army that floated that city or whatever happens.
Look at the whole bus.
He fucking ruined his other place.
Jakarta?
Where'd it ruin?
Somewhere.
South Africa.
South Africa.
Some of it.
A bit of it.
An empty building. An empty building, yeah. That he tried to buy. He broke a lot Africa. Some of it. A bit of it. An empty building.
An empty building, yeah.
That he tried to buy.
He broke a lot of other stuff, though.
Like, there are a lot of...
They do have a lot of focus on showing the civilians bloody, dusty, worried.
More than worried.
Dodging cars.
Dodging things being thrown at them.
Yeah.
Being in a car being thrown.
Yeah.
Vomiting up on the sidewalk.
I would imagine that would be part of the campaign.
I thought you were
going to get civilian deaths
in that scene
when the car fell off.
Me too.
And I was like,
oh, they're going to be
realizing,
oh, we can't save everyone
the way we've been acting.
Oh, no, yes we can.
Thor's here.
Hey, good.
Sick.
Hey, Thor, welcome back.
That Hulkbuster fight
was awesome, right?
Yeah.
There's a clip of it online
like the first minute.
I wish I didn't watch it.
Oh, yeah,
you would have liked that.
Yeah, I mean,
I still loved it.
My favorite bit was when he's continually punching me.
Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep.
I really liked the callback to the first Avengers film
at the end of the Hulkbuster fight with that one punch.
The punch comes from the side of the screen again.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
You're right, it's a nod to the Thor getting punched.
Did the Hulk just give up?
In what sense?
He didn't just admit it.
Yeah, because did Iron Man win that fight?
Well, yeah, because then it cuts to...
Then it's done.
Yeah.
Yeah, because the rubble falls and he turns back into Banner.
Do you see that, though?
No, because you just get a cut back to Banner shivering.
Shivering in the blanket.
He's the only one who's very aware of the consequences of his actions.
But he's still making AIs.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
He's got this wonderful, like, hey, Stark, that's a bad idea.
And Tony Stark's like, how about some sass and one-liners?
And he's like, yeah, I'm sold.
All right, bring me coffee.
You've convinced me in one line.
Don't you want to be cool?
Yeah, I do.
Piece of our age. Done. People think I'm not cool? Yeah, I do. Pizza in our age.
Done.
People think I'm not cool.
Sorry, Brad, they don't think you're cool.
But if you built this Ultron, you'd be the coolest.
Can you imagine being like Iron Man and just being like,
look, it would be really cool if we built this robot.
And Mark Ruffalo's like, no, no.
He's like, but you'd be cool.
He's like, I'm cool enough.
Black Widow might want to make out with you.
And he's like, I'm done.
I'm on board. Let's go. Someone get some coffee and let's do this montage. Did you like, I'm cool enough. Black Widow might want to make out with you. He's like, I'm done. I'm on board. Let's go.
Someone get some coffee and let's do this
montage. Did you like that relationship
between them? No. I loved it.
I think it was poorly done.
I thought it was the best thing of the...
I thought that was the best thing of...
Sorry. Stop that.
Sorry.
I thought it was the best thing of the movie.
No?
Yeah, I really enjoyed it. I thought that was the best thing of the movie. All right.
Yeah, I really enjoyed it.
I thought that was a really great kind of characterization of these two.
It's never really happened in the comics.
It was like new and refreshing to have this sort of,
oh, these two hooking up together.
That's kind of nice.
And I really, really love that moment when they kiss and it just pushes him down and he's like,
I need the green guy.
I'm sorry.
I thought that was really cool.
And I really, really like those two
because there's always like oh maybe Black
Widow has this thing to do with Hawkeye
or maybe she's got something with Cap
and it's like no. So I'd just like to
point out that Black Widow has now not
been in a film where she hasn't had a relationship
with at least one of the Avengers
What do you mean? They brought that up in an interview
Yeah that was
the worst thing that's ever happened.
Probably shouldn't have said that.
We can cut it out.
That's something you, like, they should say between them.
Yeah, maybe.
And they'd be like, ha-ha, that was a poor taste joke.
Yeah.
Oh, well, we're just bros.
Let's not say it in an interview.
Yeah.
Are you aware of it, Elliot?
Should we explain what it was?
Do you know what happened?
That's what I just said.
Oh, do you...
Okay.
I was the one who brought up the interview.
You did, sorry.
Should we explain it for people who haven't seen it?
So pretty much an interviewer brought up that Black Widow is a flirt kind of thing.
And Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner would just start to be like,
you fucking idiot, Jeremy.
And they were just like, yeah, she's Black Widow, bit of a slut.
And then one of them was like, yeah, what a complete whore.
And then they went, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
High five.
Whirled their mustaches.
Yeah.
It's not that hard to not be.
And then they were like, you know what we should do?
Women, not voting again.
What a time.
But they do bring that up in the movie as well.
Like, Steve Rogers is like,
oh, I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of her flirting.
And then just walked away.
But she's a spy.
I mean...
No, but still, she's also the only, like,
strong female character in these films.
And they're just like,
she needs to be fucking at least one of the dudes
or those are not going to care.
I don't think she had prior to this.
She was always sexy, but she was always sexy but she
was always like
she hadn't like
the movie's not
like she's alright
whatever
I don't like
redheads
I'm every
god to you
too
it's like nah
redheads and
pushy that's my
jam
literally pushy
yeah
I don't know she didn't need to be dating someone i but i like you
you work in your environment that was kind of nice and also she hadn't really shown any sort
of root like they don't really do a romance love romance love plot in the avengers and
and they also did the romance love plot wrong it was almost the build-up of the relationship was
it sort of it goes really wrong no it's they were off to like
i think it was just rushed because they were off to because there's only like three scenes
building that relationship yeah and the second scene that it happens off camera yeah but they
don't imply it that's the problem there's the shower scene which the bar scenes first yeah
the shower scene's the middle one yeah because the bar scene happens and he's just like whoa
like bruce banner's like whoa hey sick i what is going on here live tyler who you guys remember that right
i remember that relationship um and then yeah there's the shower scene and that's like the
other time get them talking and he's still very surprised but then like by the end of that it's
like they've been like hey we've been dating for like a year kind of thing what no like it's still new but she's like i can't have kids you can't have kids good
were they no is that no no i think you misread a laugh yeah well because she and that was something
that i was a bit like that sucks that what they've done is said that because she can't have children
she's a monster i am not all right with with that. We're perfect together because we're both monsters who can't have children.
Yeah, I mean, it just seems.
I don't view a dog.
Bruce Banner can't have sex, though.
That's true, he can't.
In The Incredible Hulk, like the solo dog.
Like at all?
At all.
He gets too excited.
His heart rate goes up too much.
And then he gets angry.
There's a sex scene in that.
So that's canon.
Yeah.
That he cannot have sex.
Yeah.
Unless he's like meditating and not having a good time.
Like Sting has sex.
Like you have to do a tantric eight-hour moment.
Fuck that.
Anyway, but the thing I...
Too long.
That was something I really had an issue with.
You have to, like, reschedule a day to have sex.
You're doing it too long.
Yeah, Sally?
No, I just thought that that was completely unnecessary.
I don't know.
It was good that they gave her a backstory because it's usually just, No, I just thought that that was completely unnecessary.
It was good that they gave her a backstory because it's usually just,
she's a kick-ass spy and she's going to punch you in the face and that's fun. Who was right about Ballet Troupe?
This boy was.
Good job.
What up?
That was a definite surprise.
It was good.
Like I said, it was very much a This is the Hawkeye and Black Widow film that they never got.
But that was a bit frustrating, I felt.
That whole scene, that idea that they could only be together
if they're both monsters.
But just the underlying implication that if you can't have kids,
you're a monster, that's fucked.
I think it was more of a I'm a monster because I've killed people.
No, because she didn't care about the killing people.
She was like, because in her like night night Mary thing where just an easy way to
show everyone's backstories again yeah um yeah I know like killing the dude and
she was clearly like stressed about it but why take her womb no she was worried
she's like I don't want to graduate yeah and the graduation results in
sterilization oh that's what I mean like see like her shooting the target and
then the dude in like the Hessian sack,
and she shows him shooting him.
She doesn't seem pleased about it,
but then, yeah, the graduation ceremony, she's like, no.
I wanted more of Julie Madly Deeply, girl.
We only got her in a couple of scenes.
Who's that?
We've had this discussion before.
The chick from the before films
she was in there
oh right she totally was
you're right
what are you guys talking about
Julie Deepley
Dapley
Julia Dapley
who did she play
she was Black Widow's mentor
the female one
not the male one
in the flashback
oh in the flashback
and I love her as an actress
she's great
I forgot that she was in it
but yeah
Julie Delpy.
There we go.
Delpy.
Deeply.
Truly.
Madly.
I wanted more of her.
I'm hoping we do get a spin-off Black Widow film.
I know we're not.
Yeah, no, there's not enough.
They put so many parts of her in all the other films
that there's nothing left to make a film for her.
They made three Iron Man films. Three. And we still get a fuck ton of Tony Stark all the other films, that there's nothing left to make a film for her. They made three Iron Man films.
Yeah, but...
Three.
And we still get a fuck ton of Tony Stark in both Avengers films.
That's because it's Robbie Downey Jr.
And you're also going to get a bunch of him in Civil War.
There's going to be six Iron Man films, pretty much.
Yeah, but that's because he's super sassy
and he's the face of the Avengers.
And then, plus, he's confirmed to be in both Avengers films.
But again...
Fuck off, Tony Stark.
Again, we've...
You could make a really good Black Widow film, Ali. Just saying. A lot about her backstory we still don't know. But again. Fuck off, Tony Stark. Again. You could make a really good Black Widow film, Ali.
Just saying.
A lot about her backstory we still don't know.
Ali specifically.
Yeah.
I was like, get out there, Ali.
The pressure is on, guys.
I don't know how to fix this.
Don't let copyright stop you.
Off budget.
Directing a film.
I know you probably haven't done that before, but I reckon give it a red hot go.
Right.
But I mean, Iron Man is the face of the Avengers.
And, again, about that movie being
very self-aware when Robin
Chbatsky comes in and says to Iron
Man, he's like, I'm not in charge, I'm just paying for
all of it. But you are in charge.
And you do make the final decision.
Because you're the one who makes all the
money in this fucking franchise
on multiple fronts. Like, in the
universe and off screen.
I thought that that was just a good character development thing
where it's like he clearly is in charge.
And like he's clearly, if he's not in charge,
then he's so like...
He does whatever.
Yeah, totalitarian.
Because it's like his tower, his money, his suits.
Double entendre, mate.
His villain.
His villain.
I just play it all sides.
Both.
Both, yeah.
I'm going to do everything.
We've seen him as the good guy.
We've seen him create the bad guy. And in the next film, we're going to see him as the bad guy. Yeah. I am looking it all sides. Both. Both, yeah. I'm going to do everything. We've seen him as the good guy. We've seen him create the bad guy.
And in the next film, we're going to see him as the bad guy.
Yeah.
I am looking forward to that.
I just see him getting punched so hard.
It's going to be great.
Man, it's going to be great.
Teeth flying, hopefully.
Hopefully, yeah.
That pretty boy face being ruined.
Yeah.
Like, I want, like, Fight Club.
Yep.
Where, you know, Edward Norton just punches Angel Face.
Yes.
That.
That, yeah.
Awesome. That would be great.
Because you know what?
He deserves a severe beating.
He does.
For everything he's done because he hasn't got one yet
and he deserves one.
Yes.
He really hasn't.
It's all internal.
All of his conflicts are very internal.
It's either I can go pew, pew, pew and then fix it
or I have a drinking problem.
He went to space once and that was a rough time for him.
Yeah, he did come back pretty.
He doesn't care about anyone.
Like he almost gets Pepper killed
several times.
Yeah.
Oh, that was one thing
I absolutely hated in this film.
The discussion at the party
between...
Oh, yeah.
Hey, these guys aren't in the film
but they're still around
but they're not in the film
but they're still around.
And they're great. And they're not in the film but they're still around and they're great
and that's it
uh
now
fucker
moving from Tony Stark
to let's
let's shine a light
onto Captain America
I don't think he shone that much
he wasn't in as much
as I would have liked
yeah
he did not shine
yeah
cause they didn't
he was good
he was good
but he just wasn't shining
best uniform
yes
yes
also he had some of the coolest stuff.
The whole hammer shield thing.
That was cool.
I liked him on top of the bus.
That was a really cool scene.
It made sense because when I saw that in the trailer,
I'm like, he would die straight away.
But you could see why they did it so...
Oh, yeah, he's skilled enough that he...
Yeah, dodged.
Yeah.
I think there was something else.
Oh, yeah, him throwing a motorcycle
that was also super cool
that was super cool
but ruined in the trailers
but super cool
yeah
was that in the trailers
yeah
don't watch trailers
actually that was another thing
there was no big
climactic fights
or anything that wasn't
in the trailer
like there was no big scene
that's true
I said that in our prediction
that I didn't think
the robots was the end
because they did it already yeah with the last one with the Chitauri.
It was the end.
I was wrong for once.
Can you believe it?
Oh, my God.
It was like we need to defend this point in both films.
That's what they said in both of our films.
This point exactly.
And I felt like it followed some of the same beats that avengers had and i
that's the problem of doing a really good first film is that you need to top it you need to up
the stakes yeah that kind of stuff and they they buy it strikes back they up the stakes by like
okay yeah the first one was you know we had to protect new york and this one was like we've got
to protect the world yeah they have to stay in that regards but they just kept the same beats
you could almost
actually I always forget that the first film they also fight
a bit first so like this doesn't
even feel like it's building to Civil War that much
it's like ah they've always had a bit of a fight
I guess I'm curious if you got
say the Avengers and Avengers 2
and put in an editing program
and lined it up
if you got the same almost
the same time scale.
Like, okay, there's...
The Transformers films line up.
I wouldn't be surprised.
Michael Bay, if you're listening.
I know you are.
Here you have Nick Fury using a rocket launcher.
Oh, there you have Nick Fury shooting a guy in the head.
Exactly.
Here you have the fight between Captain America
and the three-way fight that happened in the first one
with Loki just watching.
Not escaping, just watching.
It's all part of his plan, boys.
You have this one.
I'm curious if they could have had that same bit.
Because it wouldn't shock me if they were back three or four minutes off.
Yeah, you'd agree with that.
So, I don't know, I just felt nothing new.
And I really wanted a lot more.
The Vision, I thought, was a great inclusion.
Very cool.
Very interesting character.
Very well played.
I want to know how much that is CGI and how much is practical.
The cape, I think, is CGI.
I think we can all agree, correct?
I think we can all agree on the CGI cape.
Yeah.
I love the birth of him.
Yeah.
I love the little fight that Toadie and Steve were having
and then just Thor comes in
pushes everyone away
I still don't understand
why he did that
I understand it was sort of explained
but it doesn't all line up
he had a vision of a robot man
and then he's like
okay I'll help
it's very confusing
I think that would be explained more
in the scenes that Khalid and Mace went to.
When Thor's in the pool.
Doing labs, yeah.
Okay, so I go back and I electrocute the robot.
Yep, good.
Double turn at the end.
No, because he's talking heaps about the Infinity Stones.
It's like a cap. Fucking goggles.
Okay, then what do we do?
Talking heaps about the Infinity Stones, but yeah,
we just get a really quick thing
of him seeing like
them lining up
because like
he wouldn't have known
about guardians of the galaxy
no
he hasn't seen that
he has not seen that
but does he reference it though
no
don't they say
there's a bit where they're like
oh we found four
yeah
Thor says that
that's what I'm talking about
yeah yeah
but how many are there
he would remember
like he would
there's four
oh there's six all up but we've only seen four yeah but isn't one of them in guardians of the galaxy which is what I'm talking about. Yeah, but how many are there? He would remember, he would know that through going to hell. There's four. Oh, there's six all up, but we've only seen four.
Yeah, but isn't one of them in Guardians of the Galaxy?
Which is what I'm talking about.
Oh, sorry.
We're on the same page, guys.
So he knows it's there.
Yeah, he knows it surfaced recently.
Yeah, of course he does.
But he doesn't know who's got it.
Yeah, because he's like, four have appeared recently,
in the last couple of years, since this film franchise started.
How do you know?
I saw it got in the sky.
Look, it's Vision.
And I like the conversation between Vision and Ultron at the end.
That was great.
That was probably one of my favourite scenes.
And he's sort of spruiking the Avengers Infinite Wars.
Yeah.
And that was nice.
I like the kind of thing where they both know that, yeah,
she's going to go bad.
Yeah.
And that was a really nice little moment.
It did.
Do you reckon Ultron is dead, though?
Probably for a while.
See, here's the thing, right?
Ultron is made of code.
I had this discussion in the car ride after the movie.
Ultron's made of code.
He's also in Vision.
He escapes from, like, the Avengers Tower through the internet,
and they're like, oh, we've stopped him escaping through the internet.
If I was a sentient being made of fucking code,
then I would absolutely
save myself on some kid's hard drive.
Just a floppy disk.
But I mean, it would be so
easy in this day and age, especially in
Marvel's day and age, which is even more advanced,
to be able to save that
code somewhere.
Now, he might not remember the last, or that
particular save code, may not
remember up to the point where he's disconnected from the internet.
But, first of all, very easy to pick up because there would be a lot of media reports onwards
if he's still existing in the internet or wherever.
Or if he's saved off in some kid's, like, hard drive,
because I love the idea of some, like, teenager plugging in his hard drive.
Like that kid in Iron Man 3 that just came out of nowhere
and then also disappeared
What's his name?
He turned up in Jurassic World
Oh, that's where he went
He went to Jurassic World
But I think that it would be very easy
to bring Ultron back
Ultron is a kid, he's part of Runaways
in the Marvel U, so you could have like a
Victor, I think his name is Victor
Baby Ultron Victor Baby Ultron
Baby Ultron
If Baby Ultron
or any other Ultron
is coming back
it's not going to be
for a long time
Yeah
But I still feel
it's absolutely possible
They have to exhaust
a whole lot of
other villains
Yeah
Because like Red Skull
is also apparently not
I want to see Red Skull man
He's also apparently
not dead
He'd be a good
you know
comeback for Civil War.
That's Hugo Weaving.
But then we've got
because Civil War
already has too many people.
It's got
Bat...
No, what's his name?
Batman?
He's got a purple...
Bat Middler?
Yeah, Bat Middler.
Bat Middler?
From Witches.
Two Witches?
No.
Hocus Pocus.
Baron something?
Yeah, Baron Zemo
is in it.
Yeah, and Crossbones.
Yeah, Crossbones. And you've also got the Winteremo. Yeah. Oh, cool. Yeah, and Crossbones. Yeah, Crossbones.
And you've also got the Winter Soldier.
Yeah.
He seems all right now, though.
He's all right.
Tony Stark's also a bad guy technically in that film.
Yeah.
Maybe, unless they do what they did with Avengers 2,
like this is going to be very dark.
Actually, there's not really that much separation.
Let's just team up and make it Avengers 2.5.
Yeah.
Good.
But I think that the Winter Soldier, obviously,
he had
little specks of
can make independent thought.
He'll take over
Captain America.
But they've got options though. They could do him or Falcon.
They won't do Falcon.
I want them to so bad, but they won't.
I feel like the next Avengers team seems
really kind of not great.
Oh no, I'm really excited.
You'll be like...
Avengers!
At the end.
Boom!
Boom!
And I was just kind of like, oh, there's a guy who flies.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Whoa, Vision does more than...
Oh, wait, no, Falcon.
I mean, he's great.
I like his new outfit.
Fluffy.
It's wonderful.
Was it?
That would have been amazing.
You changed your wings.
Yeah.
Why?
Made from real falcon wings now.
I would have liked
if he had like a bird hat.
No, I wanted him to have
like his actual falcon body
that he has a telepathic
communication with.
Oh, yes.
That would have been cool.
Bring back Falcon's falcon.
Yeah.
Hashtag bring back
Falcon's falcon.
We got Vision
Who is
He's pretty rad actually
Sick as
Scarlet Witch
Who I love
I think I'm an old
Funny daddy at the point
We haven't even discussed
Scarlet Witch
She's great
All the twins really
So yeah
Thoughts on the twins
Quicksilver was downgraded
As we predicted
So he was pretty quick
But not super super quick
He was super quick
But not super super quick
And he also got out of breath.
He did too.
And they played down the incest.
I'm so happy about that.
Still a little bit there.
I don't hold hands with my sister
or touch her or make loving glances at her.
Can I?
In fact, I usually just don't acknowledge she exists.
But you're not a twin, though.
No, I'm not.
If I had a twin.
What a time.
That's a whole different story.
There'd be two of me.
It would be great.
The worst.
I thought it was...
How do they get their bloody powers?
It's explained in a comic,
which is they just get experimented on by Strucker.
Yeah, because I thought that they were mutant.
Well, they can't use that.
They can't use the mutant term.
Yeah.
Marvel don't own that anymore.
So what do they keep calling them?
Specials.
Miracles and specials.
Yeah, Miracles, specials.
Aw.
Russians.
Yeah.
Sokovia.
Sokovia.
Yeah.
So it's sort of explained in the comic book,
but you could not care and be like, yeah were just born like that, whatever, who cares
no they mentioned they were the experimenter
I always wondered
why are you the only two who survived the experiment
yeah they do
pin that to the experiment
but are they the only ones with superpowers?
other than the Hulk
well the Hulk doesn't really have a superpower
he has like a
Captain America has superpowers?
Yeah.
He's just super strong.
Yeah, and what did you say before strong?
Did you remember...
Sexy.
Do you remember in the first Avengers?
Super strong?
Yeah, I get it.
He has a superpower?
He throws a motorcycle that he's riding.
He creates no lactic acid.
What a power.
He can run forever.
Ever.
Forever ever? All I'm Ever. Forever, ever?
All I'm hearing is Captain America is super fit and super fine.
That's all I'm hearing.
How good was that scene where Hawkeye and Hawkeye's wife were talking
and you look out the window and you can see Captain America
fully defined from a distance?
He's like a kilometre away and you can still make out every single person.
He looks great.
That's a tight shirt though
very tight
it's like we have no reason for him to be shirtless
but we'll give him a shirt
let's give him a shirt so tight
that you can pretty much work out what's going on
I'm on board guys
that was a really nice moment that log splitting
it was
but again that was put before the movie came out
I think that Captain America,
he is on this sort of righteous pedestal all the time.
And Iron Man, no matter what he does, no matter how rich he is,
no matter how powerful his suits are, can never reach up to that.
Regardless of what he does, he's still a cunt.
Sorry?
You heard me.
Anyway, so I think that log scene was really sort of indicative of that.
And, you know, obviously Steve is just, he's just a rat guy.
Even at the end, he's just like, no one dies.
He's like, we're not leaving.
We're all going to die or nothing.
Just save everyone else.
Yeah, those are the options.
And he's just got this beautiful innate sense of humanity.
And Iron Man just doesn't have that.
He spent so long being rich and a genius
and probably having sex with a lot of very pretty women.
Just Pepper.
Uh-huh.
Okay, not the ones before?
No.
He was a virgin before then.
I don't know what's happening here.
He's settled down now.
Okay, well, that's...
He's not a playboy anymore.
Not anymore?
Don't hate my play, I hate the game.
But I'm saying before he became Iron Man. Before he became Iron Man, yeah, he... He's not a playboy anymore. I hate the game. But I'm saying before he
became Iron Man.
Before he became Iron Man, yeah, he was a bit of a dick.
That's what I'm saying. He was a virgin. He was a virgin.
Just like Hawkeye. Fine.
Whatever makes you guys happy.
But the fact
afterwards, he starts to
fix everything, but he still can't quite
get out of that sort of
selfishness. And i think that's
that's another point and that's why it's probably likely he's going to be like i am going to run for
president oh no you're dead what have i done how could i have fixed this why am i so sad in my face
that's yeah well you sort of hit the nail on the head here between what the major conflict between Iron Man and Cap America is.
The most recent comic that came out with the 616 universe,
the whole world is ending, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
secret world is coming out soon,
and Marvel has like four minutes to live until everything dies.
So Cap America is old now.
He takes this moment to find tony stark
and beat the living shit out of him wonderful in like an iron man outfit that's cap america
and it's great he gets a shield is that recent yeah i gotta read that oh it's a good time and
you're right and you're right and tony stark is like yeah like we need another fucking reminder
is how great you are compared to us fuck you like yeah i knew this
was happening but i tried to stop it and it's a beautiful kind of moment uh and yeah i think
that's kind of really it has to kind of come through in civil war to have this sort of
almost jealousy that tony stark has of cap america being like you are so fucking good
you are so perfect you are so fucking you're never going to kind of take the low road you're
always going to be on your fucking high horse doing this bullshit
I have to be the one
that tries these things out
because
you know
I have to
so I need to be the one
to protect everyone
my way
kind of thing
I feel like Captain America
also would be disappointed
in Tony Stark
because he's met his father
there's a deleted scene
where he sees his file
he sees
Howard Stark's dead
and they were friends
obviously
and Howard Stark helped make him And they were friends, obviously.
And Howard Stark helped make him who he is.
And he's like, oh, he's got a son.
Great.
And then he kind of meets him and he's like, this fucking guy.
Like, this entitled, kind of bought into everything kind of guy.
I just don't feel that.
You would be disappointed, but you're like, I've got a connection to my past.
Great.
It's Iron Man.
Fuck.
Is it deleted scene in the first Avengers film? Yeah, it is. It's Iron Man. Fuck. Is that the scene
in the first Avengers film?
Yeah, it is
where he's going through files
and it's like,
dead, dead, dead.
That's sad.
They should have kept that in.
Yeah.
And I mean,
so Steve Rogers
really had nothing
to begin with
and that's why
they chose him.
It's like,
you have nothing
and this is something,
it's a burning desire
that you have to fix
and that's why
we'll give you this power. I just remembered remembered yeah uh with the first avengers film apparently
it was way more of a captain america yeah they cut heaps out yeah yeah because because the first
captain america film only sets up his backstory but then they needed to deal with him being in
the present but then the actual avengers film was just like we will a little he'll just punch a bag
off of yeah let's give him the worst costume ever It is the worst
That Avengers costume is not
It's like pyjamas
It looks better with the hat off
Hat?
It's a hat
It looks better
It's a mask?
Nah
Hat mask?
Hamask
It's a hamask
Homus
It's coated his face with humus
Like Captain
I think being frozen
has touched your brain
a little
that's not what
we use hummus for
probably didn't have hummus
but that's not
what we use it for here
the end of the
end of the film
the line up
I thought that was
really cool
who was it
let's
Vision
Scarlet Witch
Falcon
Captain America
Black Widow I keep going to call Black Widow Scarlet Witch but Captain America Black Widow
I keep going to call
Black Widow Scarlet Witch
but yeah Black Widow
was there
was there any Rhodey
yeah
oh Rhodey
wasn't
I felt that end scene
was like
let's have a reunion
of everyone who's been
in every Marvel film ever
except for Tom Hiddleston
and then just make
them all fight
he was apparently
filmed a scene as well
yeah he was
not in it
oh
that's upsetting that would be good if he turned up at the end like the new Avengers and he's like I'm here too He was apparently filmed a scene as well. Yeah, he was in it. Oh!
That's upsetting. That would have been good if he turned up at the end like,
the new Avengers!
And he's like, I'm here too!
Or like hiding.
As Odin.
Hiding in the background being like,
I'm going to fuck you guys up.
Actually, I thought it would have been really cool
if in the end scene we see Thanos,
like the mid-scene.
Mid-credits.
Mid-credits scene.
You see Thanos being like,
fuck it, I'll do it myself, grab the gauntlet.
That would have been a cool moment to have Loki handing him the gauntlets.
Definitely.
Because he's in Asgard and that's where we last saw it.
And again, getting back to what you said,
that's beat for beat like the first Avengers.
It's the same mid-credits scene.
Thanos is here.
Yeah. Okay, we know. I am aware. I'm sorry, when's the same mid-credits scene. Thanos is here. Yeah. Okay we know.
I am aware.
I'm sorry when you said the mid-credits.
No there's not one at the end. Okay good because I was told
very explicitly I'm not sitting around for this
and I'm like I don't want to be the idiot that does.
There might be like one
for the American
the shawarma scene where they eat kebab.
Oh yeah because Australia just in case any American
listeners are listening which we know you are we never got that shawarma scene in Australia eat kebab? Oh, yeah, because Australia, just in case any American listeners are listening,
which we know you are,
we never got that shawarma scene in Australia.
Nope. Nope, we just got the...
What are you talking about?
You know in the first Avengers,
how Tony's like, when he crashes down to Earth,
he just starts making like...
Right at the end,
after he's sacrificed himself for then surviving,
so he didn't sacrifice himself for shit,
he's like, we need to go get shawarma.
I never had shawarma.
What the fuck is shawarma?
I want it.
That scene?
Yeah, in the end credits of... The very, very end. In the international release. Oh, that need to go get shawarma. I've never had shawarma. What the fuck is shawarma? I want it. That scene? Yeah, in the end credits of...
The very, very end.
In the international release.
Oh, that we did not get.
That we did not get is them eating some shawarma.
Sitting at a table, eating some kebabs.
Just silence eating.
That is the worst.
No, that's good.
Nah.
I mean, it's a good scene.
Like, we just didn't get it.
Until the DVD.
Do you think they should have put it back in this one instead
at the start
they should have opened
the film with that
and then cut
to that shot
of them jumping over the
like where they're all
like in line
yeah
yeah excellent
because they're all
they've got the energy
from the shawarma
they're ready to fight
they're eating shawarma
they're like
Baron Struck is over there
like what
they all turn
and leap
freeze frame a moment follow through one of them's got shawarma they're like Baron Strucker's over there like what? They all turn and leap.
Freeze frame a moment follow through.
One of them's got
shawarma in their hand.
Is shawarma a kebab?
Is that right?
I believe so.
I've never had it.
Me neither.
We should eat shawarma.
We should!
Just have like
you know kebab grease
like a garlic sauce
just on Tony Stark's beard
just covered.
That'd be great.
Tony Stark ate less
in this film than usual.
Correct.
Well, he did make smoothies for everyone at the start.
And they just sort of, they didn't.
That was a nice little touching moment, I thought.
He's thirsty.
It was good.
I bet he was like, I'm making a smoothie for myself, I guess.
He's like, I'm making a smoothie for everyone.
This was my best.
Yes, for everybody.
I thought it was still, because it's a very green smoothie,
but I thought it was still kind of half motor oil.
Because you know how he has a drinking problem.
No, there's a bit of whiskey in there.
Wouldn't surprise me.
Good times.
No, they're not doing that drinking thing, are they?
No, they could have done it in Iron Man 2, but they didn't.
What drinking thing?
Tony Stark's a raging alcoholic.
Yeah, but that was the whole second film.
No one remembers the second film when it wasn't.
It was more like he was getting poisoned from his heart machine.
Yes, because he was drinking too much of that black stuff.
No, no, that was to stop it.
That was a kind of a counter it.
No, I was doing damage.
No, I misinterpreted that film. That was to stop it. That was a kind of a... No. To counter it, yeah. Yeah. That was doing damage. No.
I misinterpreted that film.
He was drinking motor oil to try and stop it.
Yeah.
I thought the motor oil was...
And he does get drunk and starts throwing bottles and like...
Yeah.
Pulsarating them.
We've all done that.
Yeah.
That's fine.
Drank motor oil and then crack your shits.
Absolutely.
But I really thought they were going to do the...
That's my Sunday night fucking activity.
Is it Demon in a Bottle is the storyline?
Yeah, Demon in a Bottle. Yeah. I really thought they were going to do demon in a bottle is the storyline yeah demon in a bottle
I really thought
they were going to do
that storyline
for that film
but I think that might
have been a bit too dark
for whatever
I expected Iron Man 2
was just going to be
like Rhodey taking over
from Iron Man
because Iron Man
was incapable
because it was a drunk
I feel like there aren't
and I'm sure
there are people
that disagree
there aren't a lot
of iconic Iron Man stories
Extremis which they botched in 3 And I'm sure there are people that disagree. There aren't a lot of iconic Iron Man stories.
Extremis, which they botched in three.
I like Iron Man 3.
I'm not a fan.
I'm not.
I don't want to get into it.
Dimitri in a bottle, they sort of botched in Iron Man 3.
Yeah, exactly.
And I know there are others.
Sort of like the Ultron thing. The sentient armour.
Oh, yeah, they could do that.
Where the armour's in love with Tony Stark. But they kind of did like the Ultron thing the sentient armor oh yeah they could do that where the armor's in love
with Tony Stark
but they can't
because they did Ultron
so they kind of
you could argue
they botched that story as well
he doesn't love
Tony Stark
no but he did
the sentient
I reckon he does
yeah
because he's too much
like his father
that he hates him
it's that
I am you
and I hate you
the second one
yeah the second one
it's like the second Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi.
And it is like, yeah, Tony, you're my father.
Excuse me while I make sassy one-liners to the side and then fuck everything up.
That's pretty much all Trump is.
You know what they always say, make my friends rich and make my enemies rich and then see
some, I don't know.
Yeah, what was that?
What was it?
Make my, and then see, I don't know. See, what was that? Make my, and then see, I don't know.
See which is which.
Yeah, maybe.
Or see who is who, which is whatever.
Some dumb thing Tony Stark used to say.
Yeah.
Doody Stark said that to me.
I'll fight you.
Great.
Have a candy.
You'll be fine.
It was a great use of the word.
Candy.
Yeah, what did he say?
No, he didn't call him a sycophant, did he?
No, he said he's a sickness.
Sorry, never mind. Cut that out. No, he didn't call him a sycophant, did he? No, he said he's a sickness. Sorry, never mind.
Cut that out.
No, I'll leave it.
Leave everything in.
Don't edit any of our podcast anymore.
Edit it, dad.
Fucking top and tail.
All in all, there were some great moments.
There was some great action, great character moments.
There was some really beautiful banter between them.
And that, I think, is what I've come to expect from a lot of Joss Whedon's work,
is he's really, really good at writing character absolutely but I think as an
overall story wasn't entirely happy with it because I think again maybe I had my expectations
a little bit too high I probably should have lowered them somewhat but I really wanted this
to be a darker uh not a gritty but just a darker ending where actions have consequences yep where we get rid of
thor in a very tangible way that he can't come back have him be trapped in hell have the like
the last scene be where the fuck is thor we don't fucking know fuck we got to do this we could use
thor we could really use him right now but he doesn't turn up yeah have hulk being like oh he's
in space.
Can we get that down?
No.
I think that was left ambiguous because they were like,
we'll see what we do.
Yeah.
I think I said that earlier.
Cut that out as well.
No.
Leave it right in.
So he's either in space or Fiji.
One of the two.
One of the two.
That's where Coulson went in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Is that the first of the fact that Bruce Banner's dead?
Nah. Full of Kree blood.
But if, because the plane maybe crashed in Fiji,
does that mean that at one point Hulk then got on the top of the plane,
jumped into space, plane crashed, and he's just swimming through space?
If you're in space, though, you'd calm down.
Swimming through space until he sees Ultron
and it'll stop and it'll give him a bit of a wave
and Ultron will be spooked.
Thanos. Thanos, not Ultron.
He'll just drop his
roast lunch and just, oh, gravy
on his costume. He'd have to go through a
wormhole or something. Or someone's gonna
have to pick him up and be like, we could use this guy for something
real fucked up. Or the Watcher,
Utau, comes in, picks up Hulk, goes, hello buddy, piffs him up and be like, we could use this guy for something real fucked up. Or the Watcher, Utau, comes in,
picks up Hulk, goes, hello, buddy,
piffs him up a bit further,
off into Guardians.
Do you think they'll ever bring in the Watcher?
God, no.
I hope so.
I like him a lot, yeah.
I want them to cast a baby,
like, just for the face.
Yep.
And mocap the face of a baby.
Yes.
And just have a giant baby face on someone else.
That would please me so much. Yeah. You'd have to explain it, though. No, I feel like there's giant baby face on someone else that would please me so much yeah
you'd have to explain it though no i feel like there's a baby man on the moon no explaining
this is the watcher
adorable that's what i want oh good i wanted yeah i wanted that from the whole and i wanted them to
win with ultron but but in a bit more of a fucked up way, like to be a really like, you know, for the greater good almost,
like we had to sacrifice a little bit of this to save this.
Even if it was sacrificing Slovakia, Slovenia.
Slovakia.
Slovakia place.
Schwammertown.
Even if it was sacrificing the civilians of that
and being like these people have to die for us to...
Like, the only way to get this asteroid,
we can't bring it down.
We have to, like, keep chuffing it off into space.
Yep.
With Hulk on it.
With Hulk on top.
Oh, that would have been cool.
Because then you would have got Planet Hulk,
which would have just been a floating island.
A floating island.
Oh.
Everyone else would die, though.
Yeah.
Yeah. And that would have been die, though. Yeah. Yeah.
And that would have been like, Avengers, yeah, we saved the world, but you killed Chwamitown,
so.
And Hulk.
And Hulk.
And Avengers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I thought that this show would sort of end with everyone being like, Avengers,
thumbs down.
Yeah.
But it's more like, Avengers, have a new facility and a new team.
You saved the world again.
Good job.
Good job, fellas.
Good job.
And some girls.
Good job, fellas, and a couple of girls.
Yeah.
Scarlet Witch.
Scarlet Witch.
Elizabeth Olsen.
She was pretty damn good.
Maria Hill.
They're all there.
Whole gang's there.
Good.
All right.
Just as a quick wrap up, let's just go over our predictions and see what we were right about.
Death of Quicksilver. I was right about that. we were right about death of quicksilver I was right about that
nailed it
Hulk going to space
I was wrong about that
semi nailed it
let's not
I honestly
like when I was
seeing that scene
of him in the ship
I was like
he's gonna pull back
on the
just one scene
where he just
grabs the hand
like bloop
with one finger
bloop
pulls it back
and into space
sick
we were wrong
about the death
of Hawkeye
but I feel like they may have edited that out I might be wrong but yeah pulls it back and into space. That would have been sick. We were wrong about the death of Hawkeye,
but I feel like the Joss Whedon... They said it out.
They may have edited that out.
I might be wrong, but yeah.
It brings back that scene, if necessary.
Joss Whedon was well aware that Hawkeye...
Everyone...
I think it must have just been a universal thing.
Even when they did the whole talkover,
I think it was Kat Merrick was doing a big inspirational speech.
Some of us may not come back.
Slow shot on Hawkeye
oh wait no
what me
no
there's another
you sure that was Hawkeye
not Quicksilver
because there was a scene
because they
over
like they foreshadow
Quicksilver's death
foreshadow Hawkeye's death
heaps
and then it switches
to Quicksilver
oh okay
I love his tracksuit
I love his
I loved it
I was just like
when do we edit this look at these sneakers.
They run fast.
I think they fucking nailed
Quicksilver.
They nailed Eastern Europe.
Beautiful.
I loved
Quicksilver's characterization.
We were sort of right about Vision's gem.
Yes, we were.
They tricked us with the colour.
They did, yeah. Because we assumed
it was going to be the soul gem.
People yelled so much at me
when I'm like,
that could be a gem.
People are like,
you're an idiot!
It's a solar gem!
I'm like, I'm sorry.
I don't...
I'm sorry.
Now they're the idiots.
Now this is time.
Hey, everyone who yelled at James,
you're an idiot!
It's a mind gem!
I'm still sort of an idiot.
Yes.
I was wrong.
But they are also idiots too.
We're all a bit idiots.
Scarlet Witch, not a gem.
That didn't happen.
Tony Hawk made zero appearances.
There wasn't even a skateboard scene.
Yeah, weird.
How do you know which characters are extreme
if you don't have a skateboard?
Right?
No one had a backwards cap either.
Very disappointing.
Nail ballet.
Surprisingly on point with that.
Yeah.
I'm angry about that.
I'm too happy with that.
I'm trying to think if there was any...
Oh, we predicted a Loki cameo.
There wasn't one.
And we said there would be some seeds of Civil War,
and there were some, but I think it was too scattered.
Also seeds of Civil Resolution there were some, but I think it was too scattered. Also seeds of civil resolution.
Yeah, there was.
Civil signing of treaties.
Civil ceremonies.
Did you predict anything, Ali?
Sorry, I touched you by accident.
Oh no, guys, I'm disintegrating.
My one weakness, being touched.
No, not really.
No predictions.
No predictions.
You just predicted,
you're like, I'm going to see Avengers.
I saw Avengers.
Oh, we predicted that there would be an end credits scene and that wasn't for us, but
there might be one in the States.
There was kind of an end credits.
No, like an end end credits.
An end end end credits.
There was no surprise cameos.
Actually, there was no surprises.
How I'm in doubt.
I'm down.
Mate.
Well, not quite.
Handle.
Handle.
He spoiled it.
Who?
Yeah, but he already told us.
The guy who was like, Thor, you killed everybody.
Do you remember me from another movie?
That's what he said.
I was the gatekeeper.
The gatekeeper.
I'm in the wild.
In this album.
You should watch that series.
It's great.
No, but there were, like, it wasn't as much cameos that there were a lot of.
It was just little small parts.
Small parts.
Like, Rhodey coming back.
Helen.
Helen.
You know, the bloody South Korean.
Was she in another film?
Helen Cho?
Yeah.
What?
I don't think so.
Is she in another film?
I don't think so.
She was a new character.
Whoops.
Pretty sure.
Anyway.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Heavily hit the dot.
No.
It's like an 8 out of 10.
Maybe.
She's going to get her own spin off.
Yeah.
Yes.
Agents of 10. She's going to get her own spin-off. Yeah. Yes. Agents of Hallen.
But, you know, Rhodey and Stan Lee, I guess,
he's the only real cameo.
Yeah, I don't think there was anybody we're all surprised to see.
Because all of these people, they'd be like,
yeah, they're going to be in the film.
They played the Nick Fury thing like it was meant to be a surprise,
but he's on the fucking poster.
He didn't need to be in that movie at all.
At all.
Nope.
He was like, guys,
I brought you together
because I believe in angry
and then that's it.
Like,
that's it.
That's it.
And then he's like,
I guess I'll fly a ship
so you've got an easy way
to save all the civilians.
Yeah.
You could have had
Maria Hill pilot that.
You could have.
Or the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. team.
Or anyone.
That would have been
a clever crossover.
And then they'd be like,
Coulson's back.
They'd be like,
what?
Who cares?
They'd be like,
who?
Watch that TV show. Coulson, you know Coulson? Don't remember like, what? Who cares? They'd be like, who? Watch that TV show.
Colson, you know Col...
Don't remember him, sorry.
No recollection.
Is he someone's dad?
Robin Schmaltz, he could have just done that.
Like, the whole lot.
Yeah, you're right.
Robin could have done all of that.
That's Maria Hill.
Maria Hill.
We just said that.
What?
Robin is Maria Hill.
Oh, right.
Yeah, Robin.
Aunt Robin.
Yes.
You're on board.
That's how I say her.
Yeah.
I'm with you. That's how I say her. Yeah. I'm with you.
That's one of my favourite jokes about Avengers.
Like kids in 2000 and whatever, your Aunt Robin was in Avengers.
Now she's your mother kind of.
Spoil that series to her.
She's not their mother.
She's their stepmom.
That ending was bullshit.
Apparently that wasn't meant to be the ending.
Have you seen the fan-made cut of the end?
No.
It's really good.
It's really quite poignant.
I have seen the first season of How I Met Your Mother
and I don't really remember it
and then I didn't watch any more of it.
Well, shush.
It's a lot better version of Friends than Friends was.
Friends, yeah.
Slap in the face, Friends.
Speaking of sitcoms that are surprisingly...
Surprise.
Apparently Mum, the TV show
Mom, stars Anna Faris. Apparently
second season is just so fucking
good. I've only heard really
good things about it, which is ridiculous.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
I think it's created by Chuck Law.
But it's like an unsuccessful one.
I've just needed to get how surprised it was.
Someone's going to listen to this and be like,
I know that show.
It's meant to be...
Kind of like when fucking Cougar Town got good.
That's what just happened again.
I don't believe either of those things.
I do not.
Kind of like when...
I feel like there's something else that started as a piece of shit
and then got really good and everyone stopped.
Parks and Rec is amazing.
The whole way.
The first season was bullshit.
First season?
I watched the first season while I was very sick.
So everything's wonderful then.
Or drunk.
No, sick as a dog.
It's gross.
I once watched all of Anne of Green Gables when I was really sick.
I'm going to say once.
I mean like last year.
Talk about a mind fuck.
You watch that when you're like hallucinating.
Not great.
That was pretty good.
The opposite of not great. That was pretty good. The opposite of great. The opposite of not great. Great.
So that aside, I think Avengers, because there was no surprises, I was a little bit disappointed
and I'm going to give it a 6.5 out of 10.
I'm standing by my six.
It was too messy, too busy.
I'd go more of an 8, 8.5.
I know there's flaws.
I am well aware of that, but I had a fun time.
And I don't know. I don't think I had
my expectations that high
I've just kind of
let go a lot
so I'm just like
let's just see how this goes
I did the
I did a dumb
dumb idiot dickhead move
I had no expectations
until like the week before
and then
I was like
oh fuck
I've bought into it now
I think it was such a long time
coming for me
so I was just like
okay
you've watched a lot of trailers a lot
yeah pointed out a lot of stuff we'd missed I watched maybe one trailer so I was just like okay you've watched a lot of trailers a lot pointed out a lot of stuff
we've missed
I watched maybe one trailer
so I think that was good
I thought it was
I thought it was
it was a good superhero movie
yeah
what are you giving it
people should watch one trailer
do you reckon for every movie
yes
and it should probably be
the teaser trailer
it'd be like a seven
I don't want to see
no more Star Wars
until Star Wars comes out
oh that would be so good
because we won't even know the plot
exactly
it'll be great
I can tell you
do not watch don't watch any trailers.
Don't read any reviews.
As soon as they mention Star Wars, just turn it off.
Don't listen to any soundtracks.
Nothing.
Yeah, don't look at the CD track list because you'll be spoiling Qui-Gon's death.
Yes.
Yeah.
Man, that bloody CD.
I've still got it.
I don't.
Don't listen
to Weird Al's parody
because he will literally
explain the whole
fucking film.
Did you make that mistake
last time?
Yeah.
A long, long time ago
in a galaxy far away.
I'll wait for the
Weird Al
then I'll say it.
Weird Al did this parody
guys, great.
You fucking listen to it
like, is that the plot
of the film?
You watch the film.
That's the plot
of the whole damn thing. I like to imagine that both of those the film you watch the film that's the plot of the whole damn thing
I like to imagine
that both of those
happened to you
in the same city
you picked up the
fucking Phantom Menace
and you're like
Qui-Gon's death
huh
this new song
that'll cheer me up
about me spoiling this film
midi chlorines
you
piece of shit
weird Al
so I think
the takeaway message
is don't listen
to parody songs
true or CDs lucky it's 2015 and neither of those things exist anymore Weird Al. I think the takeaway message is don't listen to parody songs.
True.
Or CDs.
Lucky it's 2015 and neither of those things exist anymore.
Weird Al, there's a lot of them on YouTube.
People are like, it's Super Mario, but he kills,
why does the princess always get kidnapping?
It's a rap where he's rap battling somebody.
I was, that whole scene there that you just, I did not enjoy.
So I don't think that I would ever look that up on YouTube.
All right, so this is my last episode because I'm going to go home and kill myself.
And on that note, I have been Joel.
It was nice knowing you all.
I've been Joel also.
I've been Ellie and I'm probably not going to kill myself today.
Good.
I've been James.
It's borderline.
We'll see.
We'll see how that plays out. See how it launches. Yeah. It's going to push me to the edge. Yeah, we're going to kill myself today. Good. I've been James. It's borderline. We'll see. We'll see how that plays out.
See how it launches.
Yeah.
It's going to push you We are getting lunch though, right?
Yeah, we're getting lunch.
So hungry.
And then we have to pee.
Let us know what you thought
of The Avengers 2.
Age of Ultron.
If you enjoyed it
or did not,
tweet at us
or like email
Sam's Vampire Strikes Back
at gmail.com
What's the Empire Strikes Back 2? Age of Ultron. Back to Empire Strikes Back? Was it the Empire Strikes Back 2?
Age of Ultron.
Back to Empire Strikes Back.
Semi-colon Winter Soldier.
Tweet us individually if you want
or tweet Sans fans
or tweet Weekly Planet or...
Actually, hassle Mason.
Yeah.
At Wikipedia Brown.
Tweet at Wikipedia Brown
and let him know what you thought it meant.
Yes, do it.
Please do.
But don't tell him this is why. Just do it. Just fire it at him. what you thought of Avengers 2. Yes, do it. Please do. But don't tell him, this is why.
Just do it.
Just fire it at him.
Please.
Maybe five tweets each.
Nothing would please us more.
Yeah.
Thank you. I'm not afraid It's only down
I can't be afraid
I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid
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