Plumbing the Death Star - What Do the Public Know About the Avengers Initiative? (Feat. Mr SundayMovies)

Episode Date: October 16, 2016

In which our heroes look out their windows, see a whole lot of super heroics occurring, but struggle to make out terribly much as we ask what does the general public know about the Avengers? We confus...e Thor with a Buff Nan, spend most of the time hiding under things, and lose count of how many Iron Men there are. James wants to move to the country, Duscher recalls the day the Hulks came, Zammit intends to give his children powers at whatever the cost, and Jackson just tries to describe the events of Avengers to the rest of the gang as they hide under a car. So prepare yourself for another confusing super hero event, do your best to make out whats going on amidst the colour and light, and then call your insurance company about the Hulk. Hopefully they can do something about whats going on.Want to help us afford Hulk insurance? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, we can protect our assists today.In Melbourne and want to see the Plumbing Boys live? You can purchase your tickets right here https://www.trybooking.com/NIPH. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 San Spence Radio, everyone Googles themselves, try Googling your nan. Hey everyone, just before the show starts, I'd just like to let you all know that we did it. Plumbing the Death Star survived their first ever Sydney trip, and to celebrate, we'll be doing a live show back in our home state of Melbourne on November 4. That's right, Plumbing the Death Star live homecoming tour with added spooks, November 4 at the Eureka Hotel in Melbourne. Tickets are available in the show notes below, or if you head to our Facebook page, you'll find an event, click attending,
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Starting point is 00:00:50 hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of plumbing the death star where we ask important questions like what do the public know about the avengers initiative I've been thinking about it. Yeah. Long and hard. Good. In Avengers 1 the first time. Yeah. That was the title in Brazil.
Starting point is 00:01:17 The official title. Marvel's The Avengers, the first one. If you're a person on the street, if you're one of those people just running away from the fucking Kree and big space worms and wormholes. Chitauri. You should say Chitauri.
Starting point is 00:01:34 The Kree Jackson. The Kree are bird men. I know. No, that's a Shia. I could not imagine caring less. You're better than this. But, if you're one of those people on the ground, when you see the Avengers amidst that, I don't think you're going to think that they are any different
Starting point is 00:01:51 to the aliens or any of that. You're going to think they're a little different. Well, obviously. They're people. You're going to associate the whole thing together. You are never told by the government that this giant green Hulk, which if you're watching the news destroyed the city, like not two years ago,
Starting point is 00:02:08 this iron man who, if you watch him, the news destroyed that public expo just a year ago, this captain America, keep an hush hush. This Thor, which if you're watching the news, is an alien from space.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Just like these cunts. Nobody told you they were fighting on your behalf. So you would just be like, who are these guys? You've actually got, yeah, two good, like, you've got Stan Lee, the cameo he does in the Avengers first, the first one. One time more Avengers one. At the end, he's like, I don't even believe that they were there or whatever. Yeah. He says that.
Starting point is 00:02:45 And then in Jessica Jones, you have the couple who lost their sister, wasn't it? That's right. She lost her sister, who wants just to kill Jessica Jones because she hates powered people. Yes. And so she's assuming or at least associating the destruction with power. So there is a lot of misinformation out there. Imagine if you base this off the one episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. that I half saw, the first one. I do.
Starting point is 00:03:11 I do base it off that. Good. Because this is a key point in the episode, maybe. I don't know. I didn't watch it. But there is action figures for the Avengers. They do have action figures. Because then that bloke is looking at it with a kid
Starting point is 00:03:25 and then something happens and then he jumps up and kills him. Who are the action figures of? Can you remember? I think it's like Thor, Hulk, Captain America. Yeah. The Avengers. The Avengers. Thor, Hulk, Captain America, Iron Man?
Starting point is 00:03:34 Probably. Actually, I don't know. Probably not Black Widow because they have the same problem that we have in our universe. Exactly. Nobody wants that to me. I feel like that it's definitely Captain America
Starting point is 00:03:43 and Iron Man. I can't remember who else. I'm pretty sure it's Thor. Because Captain America was already an icon. So of course you can have Thor. Yeah, that's true. People know him. And Iron Man is quite a public figure.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Thor, I can't explain. Thor was there. I remember there being a Thor figure. That event would have been just a blur of colours and lasers. You don't know. You don't know. And nobody was filming that. It was real sudden. People were filming. They'd have to be. It was like colours and lasers. Like, you don't know. You don't know. And nobody was filming that. It was real sudden.
Starting point is 00:04:06 People were filming. They'd have to be. It was like smartphones and everything. You'd have so much more footage. That guy's kid is, like, stoked to see Avengers toys. He clearly likes them. Well, kids like them. So there's clearly some PR going there.
Starting point is 00:04:18 But what I feel like it must be like is when, say you live in a war-torn country, and you have no truck in the fight. You see some people shoot some other people, and one of them's probably, quote-unquote, on your side. But you're not thinking that. You're just like, well, everybody came and wrecked my city. And that was shit.
Starting point is 00:04:36 And the end. Yeah. I'm going to buy a toy. Yeah, exactly. Like, at what point did someone come out and say, hi, we are the US government. See these people? The ones that there are toys of?
Starting point is 00:04:46 They're heroes for you. Because you'd think a good move from the US government would be to parade them as heroes and do at least a press conference to be like, yes, all right, a couple of questions. Well, a couple of answers. Aliens exist. That's good to know.
Starting point is 00:05:02 They hate us. So that's bad to know. Actually, let's cancel this press conference. See why they didn't want to. Forget it. Whoops. Yeah. Yeah, nah.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Yeah. Wait, do people know about Thor? Do people know that Asgards are real? I believe so now. So does that mean that they had to have a press conference for the alien? Well, okay. Aliens exist and they look like gorgeous versions of us. Sometimes they're bad,
Starting point is 00:05:27 and then a picture of Loki with a cross through it. Well, there was that creature that was just running around London for a bit. Yeah, that cat thing. That cat thing that we don't know what happened to. It's still out there. Yeah, because the teaser, the post-credit sequence is just like,
Starting point is 00:05:41 yeah, it's still there. It's still about. Get ready. Even like Iron Man. What does your average person think about Iron Man? sequence is just like, yeah, it's all there. It's still about. Get ready. Even like Iron Man. What does your average person think about Iron Man? He's a prick. He's a prick. He's a total prick. At the start of Avengers 2, everyone hates him.
Starting point is 00:05:53 I think the moment he comes out. Also, there's a whole group of people who are like, your bombs have destroyed my town. Yeah. Imagine in the real world, somebody comes out and they're like, yeah, I used to blow a lot of people up. And you're like, what is this press conference? And he's like, I'm doing it again.
Starting point is 00:06:12 But the baddies. And you're like, this ain't right. I've built in this robot that will kill you all. You're going to be like, Marge, get in here. There's a fella on the telly who's a robot now. Oh, gee whiz! Fuck me dead! That was like a big concern for when they made the Iron Man movie even,
Starting point is 00:06:33 to be like, people were like, are they going to think he's a robot? So I think of course there'd be misinformation about Iron Man. I would think he was a robot, definitely. Unless I'd... I want to make fun of people for being dumb, but when I was a kid and watched the animated series, I thought Iron Man was a robot.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Yeah, fair enough. At some point, Iron Man is a robot. It's just his suit, just chuffing about. He's not even there. Let's try and think about the events of the Marvel Cinematic Universe from the perspective of us. Johnny Human. Johnny Humans.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Johnny Q Human. Johnny Q Human. The four quintuplets. So Iron Man 1. What's going on? He's a public figure. Hewman. The four quintuplets. Yeah. So Iron Man 1. What's going on? He's a public figure. People know him. But you know him the same way you know Elon Musk.
Starting point is 00:07:11 It's like if Elon Musk or Richard Branson got kidnapped by terrorists. Or Martin Scrickelli or something. You'd know. He would be on the news. Yeah, he would definitely be on the news. And then he's out and you're like, oh, that's amazing. Fantastic. And then he's Iron Man.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Yes. I'm like, oh, that's a surprise. Because there was like a hostile takeover wait do we know much about the iron monger or whatever his name was what no he just went he's one of those marvel villains he just goes mad for no reason yeah but the public oh yeah i think so because he's holding that press conference was like listen there was that big chip man in the suit that trashed the city and then he's like i'm iron man look at me whatever oh so i'm a fucking narcissist so upside down face did destroy a city block, yeah?
Starting point is 00:07:47 Yes. Yes? Upside down face being Iron Munger? Yes. Why are you calling him upside down? Because he's bald head and beard. Oh, okay. He's an upside down face.
Starting point is 00:07:57 I get it. Upside down cake. That's good. Yeah, so you would probably, Would that be spun into something else? Would that be covered up? Was that covered up? By who? I'm guessing Iron Man, Tony Stark came out and was like,
Starting point is 00:08:13 yeah, there was that big iron lad who was doing shit. Not me. I'm a little iron lad. I was a slim iron lad because I'm svelte as shit. Look at my guns. Look how good they are. Not my actual guns, my arms. But also look at my other guns.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Yes. Rad as well. I don't sell them anymore. I don't sell them anymore. Anyway. I put them on my suit. I put them on my mate's suit. That's not it.
Starting point is 00:08:35 The government. He works for the government. But I won't give them to the government. Fuck the government. But they're all right. All right. So that's Iron Man 1. We basically know there's basically Elon Musk flying out there with guns on his hands.
Starting point is 00:08:46 You might just be like, okay, so like some rich fucking millionaire who cares nothing about me. Yeah, he's getting new toys. Sweet, I guess. That's super cool. Hulk is next? Yep. What the fuck happens in Hulk? Not much.
Starting point is 00:08:59 He smashes the city up to stop another Hulk. But I'd be like, who's what? It'd be the same situation. Like, what's the good one? The one that tore the car in half and hit the other guy with them? Because Hulk did that. That's someone's car.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Somebody's like, one of them Hulks got my car. You would just, in the end of that, you'd be like, what a tragedy that happened to my city. You wouldn't be like, thank God Hulk got abomination. The Hulks attacked my city.
Starting point is 00:09:24 That time the Hul's came was really bad. The day the Hulk's came. Is it Iron Man 2 that's next? Yeah. That one is the one where you're like, you know when like that fucking massive tech conference just like thousands of people die? And all those Iron Men came and killed everyone the day the iron men came and before that
Starting point is 00:09:48 you're like oh there's that elon musk guy lincoln is so rich as it runs up to an f1 and just gets in a car oh that's great look at him that's true with his new toys and oh who's this lad he's whipping a car where are my kids kids? Everyone fucking run. Yeah. You would be gone. And when they were like, Iron Man saved the day, you'd be like, what? There was a lad with whips. He was whipping cars. I do love that scene, but he could have shot his head just like,
Starting point is 00:10:16 because he's not wearing it. He's so bare. He's so bare. It would be very easy. I think sporting events, attendance would go down. Definitely. I feel like they would never have another. What race was that? That was an F1 race.
Starting point is 00:10:27 They would never do it again. But any kind of gathering of sports thing, you'd be like, I'm sus now. You'd be like, I don't want another terrorist event. Especially with Tony Stark's attending. Fuck that. I'm out. Thanks for playing. Bye-bye.
Starting point is 00:10:39 Yeah, I'm surprised when Tony Stark did his speech for a bunch of kids, there wasn't a guy there with whips just coming in when did he do the kid's speech? the TED talk kind of thing where he goes to school he's like here's a video of me young here's my very intimate memory of me and my family have you ever seen Weird Science?
Starting point is 00:10:58 this is what I looked like in that I'm back so that's the day the Hulk's came, the day the Iron Mans came. Because also, at the end of Iron Man 2, lots of whiplashers Iron Man arrive, and they shoot everyone.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Everyone. And Iron Man's drunk, and it's real clear that he's drunk, and you're like, who is this drunk billionaire? He's very transparent about history. Exactly. I'm not happy.
Starting point is 00:11:22 And then the army tried to do something, and there's that army guy. He's not like covered up as in like hush hush put him away. He's a gen pop. Because like imagine that you like so the four of us are hiding under a table in our tuxes because we invented this tech event thing. It would just be like a good night
Starting point is 00:11:38 out or whatever. Yeah. We're panicking. Iron Man lands. Runs off. Another Iron Man lands. You'd just be like there are two guys there are fucking two of them this is good
Starting point is 00:11:48 how many of them are there and then a third one lands and starts shooting people what is actually happening do we know
Starting point is 00:11:54 that's real good and even though he didn't cause that people would assume that he did yeah I'd associate with him like if a man
Starting point is 00:12:02 was drunk in a suit that shot things and then another empty suit rocked up and I wouldn't know it was empty. He just also started shooting things. I'm like, he started a gang. Yeah. Like the Iron Gang is coming.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Damn. So that's Iron Man 2. It's up to Thor. Thor? Thor. Is it Thor or Captain America? Thor, then Captain America. So Thor, you'd be like-
Starting point is 00:12:22 You might not know about Thor because it's pretty much- That's some small town shit, man. You know, and plus it's a little... It's like a little border town. He looked like a 7-Eleven. Honestly, I think it was Iron Man again. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Because a giant metal thing came down to a small town... That's true. ...and shot, you know, a bunch of things with lasers. Fucking drunk Iron Man. Even Coulson's like, is this Starks?
Starting point is 00:12:39 Yeah. He's in S.H.I.E.L.D. He doesn't even know. Fuck. No one's telling anyone anything. And like, because again, if you only heard about that. Or you only saw pixelated iPhone 1 footage of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:50 I'd be like, fucking Tony Stark getting drunk, smashing a small town. Destroying this blonde dude with a hammer. What's up with that? Who's this guy? He's fucking ripped. He's a handsome boy, though. You wouldn't think that he was anything special.
Starting point is 00:13:03 You'd be like, that's a weird guy. He's wearing some weird clothes. I'd be thinking, man, Middle America are weird. You'd be like, who's this grandpa? You wouldn't be able to see it properly. You'd just see long blonde hair. With a hammer. I'm like, okay, that's strange.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Who's this grandpa with a hammer fighting Iron Man? That's real strange. And then he just leaves for a while. Yeah, he just goes. For many movies. He's just off. You're like, okay, now we're going to see that grandpa while for many movies he's just off you're like okay
Starting point is 00:13:25 now we're gonna see that grandpa again no it's just like why is Iron Man doing this why is Yasuo in that movie I don't understand the government's here sure
Starting point is 00:13:34 in Captain America Captain America 1 he's a hero he's a hero he's a hero he stopped the Nazis and you'd know that you'd be like
Starting point is 00:13:40 Captain America stopped the Nazis that was alright but that doesn't change anything because you would already know that before any of this because that all happened in 1945. That's true. And if a guy, like a war hero turned up now and started fighting wars again, I'd be like,
Starting point is 00:13:50 wait, hang on. Things are different. Hold a moment. Yeah. You need to do some reading before you flip back. No, I mean, like, if Churchill came back to life for a bit and was like, going to the Middle East, I'd be like, hmm. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Churchy. Well, my understanding is Churchill came back into power after the war and completely fucked everything up. Like, it was a good wartime prime minister. Yeah, prime minister, but a terrible peace. Very bad in peace. Yeah. I feel like, but you wouldn't know.
Starting point is 00:14:18 As a public figure, you would know. Oh, public figure. Oh, yeah. At the moment Captain America starts parading around, you'd be like, oh, that's sweet. They're honouring that guy who died in World War 2 you'd be like
Starting point is 00:14:27 you probably wouldn't even know Captain America as a hero you would know him as the gaudy oh the US mascot yeah
Starting point is 00:14:35 what's that called not like the HBO show but the USO show USO yeah USO I think USO yeah you'd be like yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:14:43 the mascot of that okay they're doing a thing with him I guess that's classic what's Iron Man up to now and then yeah the Avengers happen which we've already covered and you'd just be like what a nightmare that was Loki comes in and you're like the grandpa
Starting point is 00:14:57 the grandpa is fighting that middle aged woman no? hang on I don't know what's happening. He's fighting that slippery woman. She's got horns. Like a trim Alan Rickman. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:15:11 They're just tumbling about. What is this? I'm imagining all these conversations, us under a thing. Yeah. Under a car. What is going on? I can't see the wheels blocking my view.
Starting point is 00:15:21 The grandpa's fighting a middle-aged woman, I think. That guy from the USO show, from middle aged woman I think that guy from the USO show from the parade I think is there he's got a shield that's alright there's a bloke
Starting point is 00:15:31 oh there's a big green bloke oh shit he's bad oh no there's one and you'd be panicking like where's the other
Starting point is 00:15:40 where's the other where's the other where are all the other iron mans oh shit where's that other silver iron man is that the other where's the other whole where are all the other iron mans oh shit was that other silver iron man is that too many things well loki like possesses of michael's a bunch of lads in germany i want to say yeah yeah that would be confusing that would be a time you'd be just how do you explain that i'm like i kneeled i don't know why yeah what did the newspapers report after that event?
Starting point is 00:16:05 It's just a question mark. No idea. It's always just like you see it in the background of Daredevil. It's just like the New York incident, but it's so vague. It's like there was a series of explosions. There was a lot of color and light. There was some flying things. I think I saw a big whale.
Starting point is 00:16:23 A flying whale came in and land crashed? There was one. There was some flying things I think I saw a big whale A flying whale came in and crashed There was one No you're not necessarily There's one or more hulks We don't really know He was kind of everywhere Number of hulks remains Again I'd assume it was Iron Man
Starting point is 00:16:37 I would assume a bunch of Iron Men were coming in The first one you'd be like bloody Iron Man Is he making Iron Whales now? I guess But also these Chitauri are bailing up people So I, you'd be like, bloody Iron Man. Is he making Iron Whales now? I guess. But also, these Chitauri are bailing out people. So I guess they'd be like, yeah, they tried to kill us in Captain America. Because there is that moment.
Starting point is 00:16:53 That's true. Captain America stepped in. In fact, you would have people telling the media, being like, no, no, no. Captain America saved me. So you would still get a good impression of Captain America. Would you figure out that, say, Captain America and the Hulk were working together? I don't know. Would you make that jump? What about the lad with the bow?
Starting point is 00:17:08 Yeah, I know. Would you even notice? I don't think you'd notice. Probably not. You'd be like, there was a fellow with a bow. I saw her at one point, a girl in a crowd pool had some guns. Like, she was just ready to go. She was a real consent citizen.
Starting point is 00:17:20 She was just happy to leap into the fray. What a chick. Like, we were there hiding under a car again, but she was gone home. Jackson, what's happening? The bow guy has run out of arrows. He's falling off. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:17:35 I think he's got it. Oh, no, he's right. Grandma got him. Grandpa got him. That's good. I think I'd invest in a pair of binoculars. Absolutely. I just wonder what's happening.
Starting point is 00:17:44 A clear idea of what's occurring. And then, how does it... It ends with Iron Man flies up into the sky. Yeah, he flies in. There's a bomb. There's a bomb. Does it suckle the Chitauri up? No, they just drop dead like the Phantom Menace. So what do we do then? Say the four of us under a car drop dead. We see the fucking Avengers
Starting point is 00:18:00 go and get Schwarmers. There was a giant portal up in the sky. We're like, is this the Reckoning? Yeah, absolutely. Is this the end times? Are we being left behind? Is this left behind? Are we in left behind right now?
Starting point is 00:18:15 Are we in fucking left behind right now? Do we know anyone that got up? Do we know anyone that got up? You creep out from under the car. You find one of the Chitauri. You take off his mask. You're like, oh, God! Guys, we're being possessed
Starting point is 00:18:26 there's demons I would think it was yeah I would become religious I think if I was I guess yeah
Starting point is 00:18:32 we feel like we've probably just seen the end of days I would fail I see any of them anywhere I leave yeah you would just learn
Starting point is 00:18:40 yeah even if they're not wrecking something something's coming to wreck them. Yeah. You would associate them all with each other, good and bad. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Yeah. I would find religion real hard after Avengers won the first because, yeah, it sounds like the end times. It sounds like biblical. Or you'd lose religion because you'd be like, well, there's aliens. So what does that mean? But you'd think either that they were devils that came from the sky. Oh, man. They're angels.
Starting point is 00:19:06 They're angels. What happens after Avengers? What's after Avengers? Iron Man 3. So Iron Man 3, we'd be like, that Iron Man guy got his house blew up. There was that terrorist attack who wasn't really a terrorist. He deserved it. He was like, hey, terrorists, here's my address.
Starting point is 00:19:21 The door's always open. And everyone would just be like, fair. Makes sense that it blew up. Ben Kingsley becomes almost like a media sensation at the end. here's my address. The door's always open. And everyone would just be like, fair. Yeah. Makes sense. Ben Kingsley becomes almost like a media sensation at the end. Yeah. Everyone's taking photos. We love you, man. Everyone loved him for some weird reason.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Was there ever a point where Iron Man was like, yo, hey, everybody, Avengers initiative. Or are we still in the dark about what the fuck happened in New York? I'm fairly certain most people. I know there is Avengers because they're a public kind of, because he's got a big A on the building. They must count for something. But who, how do we learn that? There has to be some kind of PR.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Ah, because in New York, you see. Pepper Potts? Yeah. She releases some PR? Has to. So what do you think? I feel like Coulson also needs debt at this point. Never mind.
Starting point is 00:19:58 What would we think? The four of us underneath a blanket? Just in our one budget? Are we like, oh, those lads, wasn't it Grandpa? Huh. It was a handsome boy.
Starting point is 00:20:10 Wow. A fancy boy. A fancy boy. It was a fancy boy with a hammer. I guess they're for our protection? Huh.
Starting point is 00:20:19 But I would also be like, they bring all this shit. Yeah. Like Loki's here because Thor's here. Yeah. Whatever, you know what I mean? Like they all bring something.
Starting point is 00:20:26 They all have, every time they're in the media, it's because they had to fight basically them again. I'm sure they're just not fighting robots. I would be very convinced that they're just fighting robots. Yeah. Because it happens again in Iron Man 3. There's a bunch of robots come in to, I would say, kidnap the president.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Yes. Because I'd be like, the robots kidnap the president or the vice president. No, the president, because the vice president was terrorism. He was Hydra. He was Hydra? No, he wasn't Hydra. That was later.
Starting point is 00:20:53 But he probably was Hydra because everyone's Hydra. Everyone's Hydra and Skrulls. That's the rule. And when a whole lot of Iron Man turn up, you're like, is this good? Because sometimes it is. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Are you going to get saved by the Iron Man? sometimes it's not sometimes it's bad are you gonna get
Starting point is 00:21:06 saved by the iron man in ultron it's well initially they're good though yeah you're like oh these guys are all right except you hate them anyway because you live in that shithole town yeah that's true so it happens after uh yeah thought too you're like yes remember when the world ended in london that one time oh yeah just portals and shit. Like reality just made a big hole. Those poor people were in a fighter jet. I like that scene. I like that scene too, but you gotta hope they got like a little doco afterwards.
Starting point is 00:21:33 So we're doing a gap year through Europe. I remember one of those double-decker buses on the top. We're like, man, it is nice to get away from America. Oh, God damn it. It's the fancy boy. Fuck. It's the fancy boy. Fuck, it's the fancy boy. Everybody under the map. He's fighting like a goblin, I think.
Starting point is 00:21:55 I have no fucking clue. I don't like this swirling blood tornado. This is real bad. Driver, turn around. We're going back to Wales. Nothing bad ever happens in Wales. And then after that, Winter Soldier happens, which is all like... Kind of covert.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Then it's like, oh, then a helicarrier just crashed into the ground. Yeah, I'd be like, oh, a helicarrier crashed into S.H.I.E.L.D. There goes my tax dollars. Plus you'd be like, there was a helicarrier in the sky? With the what now? How many guns? Who's helicarrier? Somebody has to make,
Starting point is 00:22:26 that can't happen and then nobody says anything. Yeah. Somebody from the government has to come out and be like, we had helicarriers. Even if it's a lie, even if they're like,
Starting point is 00:22:34 it would be a lie. It would just be like, Black Widow leaked all that stuff though, so I think they knew. Oh, true. She's the Snowden of our time. Correct. Oh yeah, no,
Starting point is 00:22:40 because that's right. As of Age of Ultron, we would not be in the dark. Yeah. Because Age of Ultron is when things start going public. Yeah, after Age of Ultron. Then we're like, oh, it wasn't two hulks. It was a hulk and an abomination.
Starting point is 00:22:53 It is fucked that it takes that many years for the four of us to find out what the hell is happening in the world. It's like six years. Six years of terror. Oh, wait, maybe longer. This is what people feel like when they go and see one of these movies, not having seen the other ones. They're just like, who's the blue guy? What?
Starting point is 00:23:08 He's fancy, isn't he? Who's this fancy nano? Blue Hulk, Red Hulk, fucking Green Hulk. Rainbow Bloody Hulk. Fucking, not everyone's a Hulk. So that's Age of Ultron, in which we're like, but Age of Ultron, you're like, I don't know about Slovakia or whatever. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:23 But also, Age of Ultron, I mean,, I don't know about Slovankia or whatever. But also, Age of Ultron needs there if we read the leaked documents. But are we? I'm not. I didn't read what Snowden leaked. No, that's true. Most people wouldn't. Yeah, but we'd hear about it. I'd rely on BuzzFeed.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Yeah, exactly. BuzzFeed would be like, 15 interesting things from the Black Widow leak. And I'd just be like, scrolling through it. The Avengers initiative. We'd be like, oh, that's what it was. There was not two Hulks. There was just one and an abomination. Oh, it was the day of the Hulk Widow leak. And I'd just be like scrolling through it. The Avengers initiative. Oh, that's what it was. There was not two Hulks, there was just one and an abomination.
Starting point is 00:23:47 Oh, it was the day of the Hulk and abomination. Fancy Boy is an alien. Gary Shandling's Hydra? Huh. What? Get into that one. There are aliens
Starting point is 00:23:56 and they're beautiful versions of us. That's weird. Okay then. The Head of S.H.I.E.L.D. is dead, but not really maybe, question mark.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Yeah, sure. Everyone is Hydra. Age of Ultron. Age of Ultron is...I.E.L.D. is dead but not really maybe question mark Sure Ant-Man We don't know about Ant-Man Ant-Man just a building blew up Would a building blow up even make news anymore? No hang on A building had a train shoot out of the fucking roof A building had a tank shoot out of it
Starting point is 00:24:22 That's something where we're like I'm sure this is some Avengers bullshit. I don't know what. By that point, you'd open the paper and be like, well, I'm sure that this is definitely going to come back and bite me in the ass at some point. Exactly. And then in Civil War...
Starting point is 00:24:39 Because again, Scott Lang does a little interview thing and he's like, Tony Stark's a piece of shit. Fucks Tony Stark. And we'd all be like, shut up, Scott Lang. Tony Stark's an angel. No, I think we'd be like, yeah, fuck that guy. Finally. Finally somebody said it.
Starting point is 00:24:53 We've all been thinking it. Is it just Age of Ultron, Ant-Man, Civil War? Is that right? Yeah. It seems like there should be more in the middle. I think you're thinking of Deadpool. Well, because it's Captain America, Civil War. Batman v Superman.
Starting point is 00:25:04 There's so many There's so many movies in between Civil War we don't We don't get much Nah because Civil War Doesn't really make it They blow up that airport Oh no no no
Starting point is 00:25:12 Civil War you just get Oh good they're illegal now That's alright Yeah It's that political assassination Yeah Yeah Civil War
Starting point is 00:25:19 Then you're kind of like Well things have turned Yes Civil War I think Is about the time Where you're like Thank God Actually no He's doing something about it Nah but after Civil War You're probably scared Because you're kind of like, well, things have turned. Yes. Civil War, I think, is about the time where you're like, thank God. Actually, no.
Starting point is 00:25:26 He's doing something about it. No, but after Civil War, you're probably scared because you're like, they're illegal. And yeah, that captain lad, he's no longer. Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't he kind of the good one? Yeah, no. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Because Captain America is the one that hasn't spooked you at any point. Yeah. Captain America is the one you're like, he's not killed anyone. He seems just like a lovely man. He's like, he's not killed anyone. He seems just like a lovely man. He's like, he's escaped and he's a fugitive.
Starting point is 00:25:48 He's an enemy of the country. You're like... Enemy of the world, not just the country. He's an enemy of, not the enemy of the state, enemy of the world.
Starting point is 00:25:55 But if I was like Stark and him, I'd pick Captain America because he seems nice. Yeah, oh, for sure. And he's never flown an army of robots at me. They're best... You he him protecting people?
Starting point is 00:26:08 Obviously Iron Man protected people. Iron Man. Tony Stark has probably gone on a press release and said, look, I fucked up. I'm sorry. Not good enough, quite frankly. Too many evil robots. Fair point.
Starting point is 00:26:18 But at least he knows his flaws. And he's trying to be like, this is why these protocols are in place, so that I, Tony Stark, don't send evil robots at you anymore. And I'd be like, well, that's good. But the consequences of his stupid actions compared to, like, if Captain America makes a mistake, maybe someone dies. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:35 But if, like, Iron Man fucks up, like, that's, they're war crimes. Imagine if Elon Musk was like, so, super sorry. I have this super weapon. I knocked out half a city block dead super sorry yeah super sorry and i've made a policy so i won't do it again that's right look it's happened again like yeah i like it i like your policy but you're in jail mate yeah well it's like iron man does it what four times because iron man one two and three all super suits that things go wrong and while he might
Starting point is 00:27:05 necessarily make them all they're all linked yeah and Ultron was him and Ultron is him so that's four plus he's science too hard
Starting point is 00:27:13 that's just the movies if we're living in New York someone's also talking about Daredevil right is he like another-y what's his deal
Starting point is 00:27:22 is he like also one of them but like he's on the street and just out there I'd move for sure also Black Panther oh yeah Black Panther he's like you have another country who their head of state is also
Starting point is 00:27:36 like an Iron Man cat person Civil War actually would completely flip you on Captain America as a member of the public because fucking you know after Ultron you're like you know what he's the only one fucking looking out for us then you see on the news it's like Captain America
Starting point is 00:27:51 with fucking KGB assassin you'd be like that's well what's that news is pretty much like Captain America world's biggest cunt excuse me sorry was he hanging out I don't know that They were friends
Starting point is 00:28:06 No you don't No one's like Oh hey Hi this is the Fucking daily news It's fine They were buddies Back in the day
Starting point is 00:28:11 Oh no it's For knowledge Because in the museum Remember Bucky It was not like Bucky Taken by the KGB Made into
Starting point is 00:28:17 An assassin But yeah you don't have Bucky is the winter soldier You don't know that Bucky was his mate You got Bucky Then you have KGB I'm not looking at that guy
Starting point is 00:28:24 Like while we're under Some fucking rubble I'm like I don't know The Captain America his mate you got bucky then you have kg i'm not looking at that guy like while we're under some fucking rubble i'm like so i don't know the captain america guy's fighting this guy with the metal arm oh do you guys remember we went to the museum last week and there was that that statue of that fella bucky i reckon this is bucky but his hair is long because time has passed so that would make sense that his hair is long yeah i reckon it's him he's come back the same way. You know how Captain America came back? Shit, he's coming over here. He's coming over. He's coming over. And at that point,
Starting point is 00:28:50 do we even know that that's the same Captain America from the 40s? Yeah, that's exactly. Because in the comics, there's been multiple Captain Americas. Plus, we already know there's multiple Hulks and Iron Mans. Yeah. Who knows how many of them there are. I just feel like that government army official agent person
Starting point is 00:29:03 has gone rogue. That's not good. How does the world cope? And you wear the helmet. I'd just be like, that government army official agent person has gone rogue. That's not good. How does the world cope? And you wear the helmet. Knowing that there is just an actual witch. Yeah. All right. We got one.
Starting point is 00:29:14 She does just magic, I guess. You're like, fuck my life. What do people know about the purple face AI man? Oh, yeah. Is that a common? No, because he's all up in the Stark Tower. People take a photo in Slovakia, like little with their flip phones, take a photo of the vision. But you would, I think at this point, everyone died when the planet fell. At this point you'd just be like, like they've become a blur. I would stop picking them out. I'd be like,
Starting point is 00:29:42 oh, anothery. Yeah. Reading the paper like spider child in them out. I'd be like, oh, anothery. Never reading the paper like, spider child in New York. I'd be like, yep, that seems fair. I guess we're due for one. I guess, what is it? It's like another year's gone by. We need anothery. Because Iron Man has those YouTube clips
Starting point is 00:29:58 of Spider-Man doing stuff. So clearly people are filming it. He caught a car on a bus. People are like, the fuck is getting their phones so people like people like the fuck is getting their phones out being like the fuck is this yeah the one that's this on twitter you're just getting videos with a hashtag another yeah fuck that life yeah and also every now and then one of them will be wanted in the papers and then turn around and be like and the hulk's back and i
Starting point is 00:30:22 guess we're cool with this now or like captain America's wanted twice and with the soldier and then civil war yeah but then he's okay he's all right again like he's once again everyone's mate issuing this shit and then retracting it because no one really reads retractions you would not know who to trust ever fuck I really really hope they get J. Jonah Jameson in Spider-Man Homecoming because he will get to talk shit about all the Avengers now. Yeah. I hope so, because he should. I want a J. Jonah Jameson solo film. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Where he just talks shit about the Avengers. Yeah, just from the public eye being like, what's this, Hulk's on the good side? No, no, no, no. Remember when we ate a lad? Look at that. Would you be able to tell the difference between the good guys and the bad guys?
Starting point is 00:31:01 I know that's kind of been the point that you wouldn't, but would, when, say, you saw Ultron and the Ultrons, might you for a second be like, oh, all right, they've come to sort out whatever problem the Avengers are facing? I think that would definitely, yeah, you wouldn't know. No, it'd be so hard to tell. If you were in the airport watching Civil War fighting happening, just from your terminal,
Starting point is 00:31:21 like we're all there maybe ready to go to Euro Disneyland or whatever. Yeah, I was excited for that trip looking at the window they were like hey you know all those lads we always see in events
Starting point is 00:31:30 oh no hey the bow guy's there still huh he is with them okay oh god he's big fuck he's so massive
Starting point is 00:31:41 little bloke's real big bloke now little bloke keeps disappearing then getting real big thenke now. Little bloke keeps disappearing, then getting real big, then disappearing. This is fucked, guys. There's a birdman now. Who's the birdman? Is he a birdman?
Starting point is 00:31:57 I don't know what's real anymore. Because that birdman, Falcon, his suit for the army, yeah? Yeah. So the army has that. He stole that. But was he using that while he was in the army? yeah? So the army has that. He stole that. But was he using that while he was in the army? Yes. So the army has that.
Starting point is 00:32:09 So there'd be more than one, you'd think. So the public would know that that is something army lads were using in wars. Doesn't he say it's a prototype? I don't know. I'm pretty sure there's a throwaway line where they're like, yeah, it's a prototype and I stole it. I stole it, it's not perfect, bye. But then if it's a prototype then clearly then the army are developing that
Starting point is 00:32:25 so you know how we get those YouTube videos of like Big Dog and shit I thought you said YouTube videos and I got excited you know that Big Dog that gross mechanical
Starting point is 00:32:31 beast thing that is a robot dog and they just keep trying to push over and stuff oh that's sad I like that and they push it
Starting point is 00:32:37 and he's back up and takes like a champ so we'd get stuff like that you'd be like oh I guess the military is out there I guess he's the military representative.
Starting point is 00:32:45 Silver Iron Man's back. Iron Man and his robot friend are back. I don't see any hulks. That's good, right? Where are the two hulks? And where's Fancy Lad and his hammer? Yeah, where's he? I don't know who these people are.
Starting point is 00:32:59 What a confusing tour of Europe. I cannot wait to get to Europe. Oh, Big Lad just fell on the plane. Not happening, I guess. And I think, well, there's an actual spider. All right. Yep, this is good for us today. And there's only more to come.
Starting point is 00:33:17 Exactly. It's not going to get less complicated, is it? It's going to be a hell for Johnny Q Citizen. I'm excited for Thanos to come to Earth first. Oh, yeah, fuck. Yeah, John Q Citizen. I'm excited for Thanos to come to Earth first. Oh, God. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, John Q Citizen, I don't know how you'd cope. I don't know what you'd do.
Starting point is 00:33:32 You'd be very grey or very bald. I'd maybe either join the army or become super religious. I'd dig a hole and just sit in it. I'd just move just somewhere remote. No, but even somewhere remote, then you're thinking of like Thor. Yeah, but I'm talking like, you know, like Hawkeye's farm. Yeah, but that's where Hawkeye's farm is. Yeah, but he only has one farm though.
Starting point is 00:33:53 But I feel like you're in danger wherever you are. If you're in the city, that's the scene where everybody fights. If you're in the country, that's the scene where they land from wherever they were. Yeah, because Iron Man lands in some podunk town. The sea! Hulk falls out of the sky at one point,
Starting point is 00:34:08 crashes through a bomb. He does. That farmer takes it like a champ. He's like, you're naked, cover up your dick. I don't need that. You're wet. Yeah, and then Iron Man lands in that small town and that whole town ends up getting murdered
Starting point is 00:34:20 by Man-Thing's wife. Yeah! That'd be bad living in a small town. I remember if it was Australia, nothing ever fucking happens
Starting point is 00:34:27 there. I know. Can you name one Australian Marvel character? No. There's probably Shark Attack still,
Starting point is 00:34:33 but that's fine. Pyro? Yeah, that guy from X-Men. He's an X-Man. There's no X-Men in the cinematic universe. There's only Wonder
Starting point is 00:34:39 Childs or whatever. I think you're fine if you're in Australia and you're not near the bridge. Yeah, that's true. Stay away from monuments. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:48 And you'll be okay. Melbourne's pretty boring. I'm just going to keep living where I do. Yeah. Melbourne's good. It's not boring. You know, we told that
Starting point is 00:34:53 from the perspective of citizens of America. That's true. Citizens of Australia, we are going to know far less. Yeah, we'd be like, what is happening?
Starting point is 00:35:00 What is happening in America? That's crazy over there. And then we'll go back to our bloody meat pies and gang of ladies. And be like, thank God. Thank God we live in the lucky country. Then we'd see like a Hemsworth and be like, cheers boys.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Oh dear. Fuck. I don't think you'd know much living in that world. I think you would be living a permanent confusing nightmare Yeah I hate it Me too This makes me angry and I don't even know why
Starting point is 00:35:32 I am powerless to stop it That's how I feel in this universe just watching the movies I think I would maybe even try to myself Build an iron armour Or at least find a guy who might do one for me that's beyond me me too, which is why I'll end up like Justin Hammer and break some guy's neck
Starting point is 00:35:50 that was it there from the waist yeah, just horrible or I'd be trying to give myself or any kids that I have superpowers somehow, I don't know how I'd be probably causing I'd be like kids, we're going under the house you know how many funnel webs we've got there? so many I'd be probably... If I found out about the spider bite, I'd be like, kids, we're going under the house.
Starting point is 00:36:07 You know how many funnel webs we've got there? So many. You know how rich I'm going to be off you spider boys and girls? Let's go. You'd have superhero... You know how we have dance mums? You'd have superhero mums. So people actively going out of their way to give their kids superpowers.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Hey, kid, go stand in that radioactive pond for a bit. No, no, you're swapping. Oh, no, you've just got basic cancer over the everything. Regular cancer. Oh damn. I don't know how to do this. That's a 50-50 chance there. You either become a man thing or a cancer boy.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Yeah. Jackson became one of them. Man thing came from science and magic, not radiation. I apologize. Science, magic, not radiation. I apologise. Science, magic and revenge. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. I've been James.
Starting point is 00:36:53 Have you got ideas about the worst things that we didn't even think of? Like the fact that Kilgrave can just make us eat our own... Faces? Or any of that shit, tweet us in. And that's just the Marvel Universe
Starting point is 00:37:06 yeah I know I was thinking that as well don't even fucking get me started don't even consider being like we live in Metropolis and Gotham
Starting point is 00:37:13 two crime ridden cities we're close to each other just across the bay and midway is in the middle there's no physical difference between those two cities like you know
Starting point is 00:37:23 there's one supposed to be the bacon of like modern technology and whatever and the other's one supposed to be the bacon of, like, modern technology and whatever, and the other one's supposed to be some shithape. They just were, like, the same shithape. Same, same. And so, wait, hang on. So it goes, Gotham, so there's a bay, like a Madonna sea. As far as I'm aware.
Starting point is 00:37:37 On the top of one of the seas is, like, say, Metropolis. Yes. And the other bottom, you have Gotham. Yes. And then in the middle of the sea, we've got Midtown. Yes. Fuck off. That's bullshit. Basically, the DCEU takes place in one long base that they just give different names.
Starting point is 00:37:54 And, fingers crossed, Aquaman is going to take place in the bay. And Wonder Woman just to the left. And then it makes a giant D. Aww, shit yes. Symbolism. If that's the case, faith restored. giant D. Oh, shit, yes. Symbolism. That's the case.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Faith restored. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com.

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