Plumbing the Death Star - What Do We Think Will Happen in Captain America: Civil War?

Episode Date: April 27, 2016

In which our heroes meet up with their old mate, have some ideological differences, and then get into the worlds biggest punch on as we discuss civil war. We list the many different hulks, struggle to... remember the infinity gems, and give thanks shit for sitting on his ass for thirteen movies. Zammit is so unimaginably tired, Duscher talks good blokes and bad blokes, and Jackson just can't remember anyone's names. So grab your friends, find the nearest airport, and just start wailing into one another. Whoever wins, we're tiredWant to help us finally get to bed? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, and we can finally sleep. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Sans Pants Radio. In the midnight hour, I can feel your power. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's midweek, very late notice special of Plumbing the Death Star. Where we ask the important questions like, what do we think is going to happen in Captain America Civil War, the 13th film in the avengers trilogy all right so now i've got the introduction straight off the bat there's just one thing that's 100 gonna happen yep captain america is going to die he's gonna eat the yeah he's gonna die and if he does it i'll be surprised Fucking Bucky is signed on Or whatever his name is John Lawson Josh Lawson I think his name is Trosh Lau
Starting point is 00:00:51 Sebastian Stan Mr Trosh He's signed on for like 13 more films And they're going to make 13 more Captain America And Captain America himself Is signed on for like one more So guys Come come on now. Also, people forget with the Marvel films
Starting point is 00:01:08 that because they're made for both people that like comic books and people that have no fucking idea what a book is. I am very illiterate. And a knight, yes. It means that things that happen in the comic, like big things that happen in the comic book usually still happen in the movies
Starting point is 00:01:23 and are still treated like they're big. So even though there was a run of comics straight after the Civil War called The Death of Captain America where Captain America died. Wow. Time gun. He gets shot with a time gun. He gets shot with a time gun and air quotation marks dies
Starting point is 00:01:40 but really just gets stuck in the wrong bit of time. What is a time gun? It's a gun that puts you in... Hang on. Joel Zammett, comic book expert. Resident nerd. Who was the doctor? I want to say Facilier.
Starting point is 00:01:50 I think that's someone else. Dr. Facilier is the villain from Princess and the Frog. Is that what you mean? It was someone, some Nazi. It's always a Nazi. Just brainwashed Sharon Carter to be like, when the time is right right you'll shoot Captain Or Steve Rogers with this particular gun
Starting point is 00:02:09 Or with a gun maybe And then maybe does Sharon Carter Like I'll wily my way out of this And I'll use a time gun instead No but that doesn't help mate What is a time gun She shoots him And you get shot with it
Starting point is 00:02:22 And you get displaced in time So you're lost in the time stream Sure I hope they introduce a time stream I got tired as I was saying I feel like that if somebody with two time machine guns Just like laying into a crowd Away in time
Starting point is 00:02:41 Now there's your next bloody crossover Of Marvel you're welcome Away in time. Now there's your next bloody crossover of Marvel. You're welcome. Away in time. Captain America, away in time. There we go. So she, Sharon Carter, shoots Captain America. Agent 13 shoots. Who was confirmed for this film, by the way.
Starting point is 00:02:56 Shoots Steve Rogers with a time gun. He just like disappears. And then we just open up with the American Civil War. Captain America pops in and he's like right boys can you imagine for the south to rise again can you imagine how confusing that would be well i mean that's actually captain america doing a rebel yell also that'll be good because that means the next captain america movie will be captain america civil war 2 the first civil war i really like that that's how you open the film because people are like why did captain because that means the next Captain America movie will be Captain America Civil War 2, the first Civil War.
Starting point is 00:03:27 I really like that that's how you open the film because people are like, why did Captain America go back in time from getting shot? Will they use a time gun? Nah. Crossbones will kill him. He'll probably get like shivved or something. Nah, crossbones. He'll get crossbones.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Okay, hang on. So what is the main point of contention in this? Because in the comics it's like unmask yourself reveal your identity to at least the government whatever and cat mario be like no no i don't wanna i based on what we've seen in the trailers and like none of us have seen the you know the deal if you're listening to this but just in case you welcome to the show. was in it really yeah who's he playing I don't know they announced him like two years ago it's something to do with Black Panther from what I remember maybe it's Black Panther's
Starting point is 00:04:27 butler that's good Black Panther's in it as well that's a thing Captain America will scratch Black Panther's
Starting point is 00:04:33 gonna scratch Captain America's shield Wakanda's gonna give me the same issue that wizards do which is a good sentence in that I'm gonna be like
Starting point is 00:04:41 where was he where was he throughout the rest of the things? Well we could also get that with Doctor Strange Cause he is a wizard There you go Because
Starting point is 00:04:53 He is not in this But he's mentioned in The Winter Soldier I'm sure they'll mention him in this They'll be like man and Doctor Strange is happening I'm still fucking annoyed That the stinger for the Age of Ultron At the end wasn't Scarlet Witch Going to see Doctor Strange is happening. I'm still fucking annoyed that the stinger for the Age of Ultron at the end wasn't Scarlet Witch going to see Doctor Strange. Well, what's weird is that Doctor Strange really could. Nah, because we got Thanos being like, yes, it's time for me to do something.
Starting point is 00:05:15 How long does it take you, Thanos? Also, again, this is the 13th movie. He had an infinite stone. He gave one to Loki. What a dickhead. Fuck you, Thanos. This is the 13th film of thanos trying to get the infinite infinity gauntlet and what's it called um the infinite gauntlet infinity gauntlet
Starting point is 00:05:32 what's wrong with you guys and and and stones and he's sitting on a hot zero and we'll still be sitting on a hot negative one yeah because he had one he gave it away gave one away oh wait no he put the glove on. He's got the glove. That's a start. And there's another glove that... See, I like that idea. There's two gloves, so actually there's ten.
Starting point is 00:05:53 There are two gloves in the comics. Is there? Yeah. There's the Infinity Gauntlet and... It's not the Infinity Glove. That's funny. I yelled at you. No, it's the Infinity Gauntlet.
Starting point is 00:06:01 There's the Infinity Gauntlet and, like, I'm sure it's not this, but the Eternity Gauntlet Or something One's good One's evil Bada bing Bada boom
Starting point is 00:06:09 I hope Thanos accidentally Gets a good one And keeps trying to kill people Keeps bringing like Steve Rogers back to life That'd be funny Bringing people out Of the time stream
Starting point is 00:06:16 Caveman No cause he won't be in this Cause this is just gonna be Solely dealing with the Avengers But it is funny That it is taking him 13 Did he just not want to sit up? Because it's not like he's weak or anything.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Like, he could do it. I guess it's that kind of like, he delegated, right? He delegated wrong. Micromanaged like a cockhead. Has he only been on that floating space rock? I guess he's doing something else. No, because he's on the space rock in Avengers Stinger, where everyone's like, who the fuck is this guy
Starting point is 00:06:45 What is this weird pink ball sack Working at a cinema and knowing things About fucking Avengers and just hearing What people say I legitimately heard people being like It's a purple Hulk I like that they said that like I get it No everyone
Starting point is 00:07:00 Oh that's the best thing Classic it's just a purple Hulk Of course Hulk is green sometimes everyone oh that's the best classic it's just a purple hole of course it's from the comic books hulk is green sometimes has a sister sometimes there's a purple hulk in space incredible hulk the real good hulk the purple hulk in space the bad hulk the incredibly bad hulk um bruce banning gets hit by. One of him goes to space and is purple. One of him stays on Earth. Oh yeah, and there was another thing.
Starting point is 00:07:29 So people realized who Thanos was so that when we got the days of future past thing at the end where it's apocalypse, people are like, ah, it's Thanos. Incorrect. No, that was an Egyptian Hulk. Ah, Blue Hulk. One goes to space
Starting point is 00:07:45 One goes back in time All the hulks of the rainbow Just remember Roy G. Bibb You got your red hulk Yellow hulk All the infinite gems just have hulks in them What a twist I reckon
Starting point is 00:08:02 Captain America will die at the end I reckon we're going to get a death in the middle as well. But a consequential death. War Machine looks like he's going to die. I was going to say, because in the comics, they killed off an African-American, so are they going to kill the only African-American? No, I reckon...
Starting point is 00:08:17 No, both of them have a black friend. Oh, they've got two black friends. That's a really weird thing That they do with Marvel characters They're like You've got two options now Everyone has one black friend Who has an African American friend? Who?
Starting point is 00:08:29 Doctor Strange in the movie Yeah everyone's got a black child No not the ancient one The dude that becomes evil Is that guy That I cannot pronounce Okay then Starts with C
Starting point is 00:08:38 Pransky That's not what they came on The guy that's in 12 Years a Slave Yeah yeah yeah That starts His name starts with C? I don't know. I cannot pronounce it.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Cherries. That's close, I guess. Cherries Bismore. Apologies if you're listening to this show. Cherries Bismore. Apologies, Cherries, if you're listening. That's on us for getting your name wrong. What else is going to happen in this movie?
Starting point is 00:09:01 Okay, I don't think War Machine will die. No. Do you want to answer Zama's question he asked like maybe fucking 20 years ago yeah what was your question so i reckon the central conflict of the like the reason that they have a civil war is because captain america keeps one of them i don't remember which keeps talking about like oh we got to be held responsible so i think one of them iron man's probably going to be like look we got to be held responsible that means we got to like properly work for the government and got to have like rules and regulations regarding what we do captain america's got to be like look we got to be held responsible that means we got to like properly work for the government and got to have like rules and regulations regarding what we do
Starting point is 00:09:26 captain america's got to be like no the government was hydra at once yeah i don't want that to happen again he's like have you heard of scrolls because i'm scared are you a scroll imagine imagine if they just go completely off the rails in this movie they're like tony stark's a scroll that was sort of when they did the Breakworld, what it was called. The Beyonder came about and did shit. Fuck. Secret Wars. There you go.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Secret Wars. When they did Civil War 2, but not like Civil War 2 that's coming out. Not Civil War 2 a minority report. No, but like another Civil War. Yeah. It actually is Skrulls. That's good as. That is good.
Starting point is 00:10:01 See, that's... And so, fair enough. That's the kind of bullshit I sign on for when I open a comic book. I want to get to the end. Speaking of Hulk, man, She-Hulk is banging Tony Stark in that one. That's good as.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Super good. I would be scared to bang She-Hulk. Nah, I'm into it. She-Hulk's the whole package, though. Let's talk about that. Smart. Smart. Strong.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Sexy. A wrestler. A lawyer. Wears a leotard sometimes. To court, too. Yeah. That's good. That's against regulation.
Starting point is 00:10:31 My favorite wrestling move, which she does, it's actually one of her moves in Marvel vs. Capcom, is that, like, where they run and then they jump, like, get horizontal in the air and do, like, a double kick. Oh, yeah. Is that a suplex? No, suplex is a throw. Yeah, no, suplex is when you, I don't know. No, the double kick oh yeah is that a suplex no suplex is a throw yeah no suplex is when you i don't know no the double kick whatever i know what you mean but i just imagine she does that to the judge and that makes me happy that's good he's like not guilty you're not guilty
Starting point is 00:10:53 like anyone yeah yeah but like vaginas that's what i want in a muscles that they can she'll control them wait hulk can't yeah no but she can because she can she Yeah Nah, but she can She can, she's in charge Because she's a loyal And also she only got the Gamma stuff through a blood transfusion from the Hulk, right? That's how she got the Hulk Yeah, she got Hulked because she was dying Somebody thought it was a minor hulking
Starting point is 00:11:15 That was a stupid idea Also, she's Hulk all the time but can be chill I don't know, like That's what I'm saying, she's not like a full Hulk Hulk She's like a bit Hulk No, but that's kind of, she's got like, she kind of got the shit end of the deal. I'd prefer to just be like crazy Hulk and not be able to control myself, but also just
Starting point is 00:11:29 be Bruce Banner sometimes. Why? I drank a lot of coffee before this episode. That's true. But yeah, so I think that's going to be the main conflict. What? Also, super funny. What, Hulk is?
Starting point is 00:11:40 No. She Hulk. She Hulk. Who gets custody of She-Hulk Nah central conflict will be that Bucky is back He will do something that he'll get framed Like he'll get framed for something
Starting point is 00:11:53 Will he get framed or did he do it I reckon he'll be framed for it Or because they're still looking for him Like Tony Stark or something will catch him And that's when the shooting in the head thing might happen Or it'll be like You need to be taken to task You need to be made accountable
Starting point is 00:12:09 For all the shit you've done While you were the Winter Soldier We're like 80% sure at this point That you've killed at least one president Yeah? You know what's weird? So Tony Stark kind of doesn't work He's not part of the Avengers anymore
Starting point is 00:12:24 He killed JFK Winter Soldier didn't kill JFK did he? You know what's weird? Yeah? So Tony Stark kind of doesn't work. He's not part of the Avengers anymore, yeah? He killed JFK. Winter Soldier didn't kill JFK, did he? I haven't seen... Oh, no. See, look, the problem with this is... Now I'm confusing movies with comics. Yeah, I've promised myself that I would watch Avengers 2 before this
Starting point is 00:12:39 and even Winter Soldier, but instead I just watched... Do you remember that scene where they all jump at once? Way too much Roseanne That's what Age of Ultron was, it was everyone jumps at once in the snow I hated that scene so much Get out If I want to see all the Avengers do a neat thing
Starting point is 00:12:56 I'll look at the poster The funny thing is they didn't even use that for the poster Like why did that happen? It was the last scene of a trailer, it was a trailer scene Don't worry guys, don't put it in the movie. Hashtag, let me die. If you want to live tweet the movie, use the hashtag, let me die.
Starting point is 00:13:15 I thought Bucky killed JFK. I don't think he killed JFK in the movie. I'm not sure. He froze. Am I just mixing up, like, this and the comic and, like, Days of Future Past? Are you a Skrull? Am I a mixing up this and the comic and Days of Future Past? Are you a Skrull? Am I a Skrull?
Starting point is 00:13:29 It's funny because I don't think Skrulls make a Skrull. They're just like, yes, I'm a Skrull. I wasn't Wolverine. No, but don't Skrull. Try again. I picked up a comic book the other day. I didn't realize that Savage Wolverine was just the title of a Wolverine series. I picked it up expecting to see Wolverine with no nose.
Starting point is 00:13:43 I was so sad. That is sad. That is sad as. No nose Wolverine is my favorite Wolverine.. I picked it up expecting to see Wolverine with no nose. I was so sad. That is sad. No nose Wolverine is my favorite Wolverine. But what I was going to say, Iron Man's no longer part of the Avengers, yeah? Because there's the new Avengers. That's like Skull and Vision. So how weird would Tony Stark to be like the Avengers, we didn't.
Starting point is 00:14:00 But you guys have got to be held accountable. Oh no, that makes sense. I completely forgot about that. So you reckon the Avengers that... So the new Avengers will be... Will probably... Because the new Avengers are headed by Steve Rogers, yeah? Yeah. In a weird way, it makes more sense to flip it.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Like to have Tony Stark be... I mean, Steve Rogers could be like... Or is it going to be... Let's call them, I don't know, like... N'Avengers. Yeah. Nah. New Avengers and New Avengers. Corn. call them i don't know like avengers yeah no new avengers and you have corn
Starting point is 00:14:27 let's call them corn so you have avengers and then you have corn yeah and it's corn is led by tony stark uh-huh yeah because then say say like oh wait no that's not the new avengers the avengers the new avengers they're just off new Avengers and Korn. And then S.H.I.E.L.D. have been like, Oi, Iron Man, can you put together Korn? Because we need to be regulated or some shit. We need to put this freak on a leash. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:55 Yes. So can you please put this freak on this leash? And Iron Man's like, yes. That's real stupid. If that's the plot, that's so stupid. They're like, we got the Avengers. No, we don't trust them. So Tony Stark, for some reason, we think your judgment's better.
Starting point is 00:15:08 Well, where the fuck is Tony Stark? What is his role then? Like, what's his... I wonder if they're going to introduce him as like more of like a political... Like, maybe he'll spend the first act of the film just as Tony Stark. And then after he almost gets... Bucky is probably going to... I'm realizing we're seeing this tonight and I am so tired.
Starting point is 00:15:24 No, that's okay. But all right. You'll be in bed by 4 a.m. I'll power through. You'll be fine. You're a chum. You're a solid... You'll be right.
Starting point is 00:15:32 You're a trooper. Go to sleep in the cinema. Buy a comfy bag of popcorn. Yeah. You're like, give me your squishiest popcorn. We're going to a somewhat fancy cinema. It's not Gold Coast. Don't get too excited.
Starting point is 00:15:44 But the chairs are big. You can have a good sleep if you want. You can have like a hot nap, man. Fuck. I'll nap too. I'm going to buy so many choc-tops. I just might not see this movie and sleep outside in the lobby. Yeah, no, that sounds good.
Starting point is 00:15:57 I like, you know, we were like, somebody's going to die in the middle. How funny if it's Spider-Man? I thought you were going to be like, how funny if it's me? Hashtag let me die. Hashtag who will win. Hashtag let me die. Wait, who will win the Batman or whatever? Use that anyway.
Starting point is 00:16:17 It's free now. Team Iron Man. Recycle it. Yeah, that's right. It's Team Iron Man, Team Cap. They're the hashtags. Just in case you want to tweet in the movie, I guess. Don't. I'll kick you out. See in Melbourne Central, right? Yeah. It's Team Iron Man, Team Cap. They're the hashtags. Well, just in case you want to tweet in the movie, I guess. There's this like... Don't, I'll kick you out.
Starting point is 00:16:26 See in Melbourne Central, right? Yeah. If you go back, the people have drawn comics, whatever, to sort of promote the film. Yeah. And they've just got all the people kind of fighting together
Starting point is 00:16:34 and all saying shit. But then they've got the one with the speech bubble of Cap America and Cap America is saying hashtag Team Cap. Do you even know what a hashtag is, Cap? I sincerely doubt that. Captain America is not on Twitter. His Twitter account is probably like,
Starting point is 00:16:48 how do I use Twitter? And then a hashtag, not hashtagging anything, and then no other tweets. The word hashtag. No, the third one would be test. Yeah, exactly. And then maybe he's friends with Tony Stark, and that's it.
Starting point is 00:17:04 That's sad for you, Captain America. How much... All right, yes. Go on. Say what? You reckon it's not gonna... Who's gonna die in the middle act? No, I was gonna say it'd be funny if it was Spider-Man
Starting point is 00:17:15 because they've announced a Spider-Man film, and everyone's like, why would you do that? That'd be all right. Spider-Man will have two suits in it. We'll probably see him at first being like, I'm a little kid fighting crime. How do you reckon it's gonna open?
Starting point is 00:17:27 Spider-Man. I? Spider-Man. I reckon Spider-Man. Because he was introduced late and the easiest way to introduce him into the film is to have a scene that's unrelated to everything else. That would be clever. Mirror the... This would be a good way of opening it if you want to do that.
Starting point is 00:17:41 Mirror the Iron Man post-cred scene replace iron man with spider-man and tony stark with no nick fury with tony stark yeah there you go then it's like in queens or whatever so spider-man spider-man spider-man and around you'll see him stop a crime and then he'll walk in somewhere guy nah we'll punch it in the face that iron man will just be like nah because iron man's not gonna be iron manning it first he's gonna be tony starking it And then he'll walk in somewhere Punch a guy Nah Punch it in the face And Iron Man will just be like Nah Because Iron Man's not going to be Iron Man-ing it
Starting point is 00:18:07 He's going to be Tony Stark-ing it He's right Because Tony's Unless If he's Iron Man-ing it How about this How about this You've been promising
Starting point is 00:18:13 To give up the How about this For like 8 movies at this point Fucking hell So like a suburban street In Queens Yep Open
Starting point is 00:18:20 Exterior Day Day yes And then Not day And then Spider-Man He's oh, yeah, not day. And then Spider-Man's around, right? He's a teenager, he's got to go to school. You know, bad guy punches him in the face, whatever, ties him up.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Gets a crook. And as he's there, middle of the day, Tony Stark just walks out, holding a martini. All right. In broad daylight. He's like, oi, you. Day drinking. He'll probably call him Underoos straight off the bat, I reckon.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Oi, Underoos. Oi, Underoos. Join my cornos Join my corn Join my corn Freak on a leash It's fucking rad We start on track 13 Because we're fucking metal as shit
Starting point is 00:18:54 That's the worst thing about that album Like I cannot stand corn And that song makes me want to die But the fact that that album has 12 tracks that have just nothing so that the first song is track 13 makes me want to kill myself why not just call number 1 13
Starting point is 00:19:11 why make it difficult for everyone no because it's new metal and they're hardcore as shit or whatever and they got the spawn dude to draw the cover you're a hassle Todd McFarlane.
Starting point is 00:19:26 Yeah. Okay, here's something to talk about. Not to be confused with Seth McFarlane. Or maybe to be confused with Seth McFarlane, get him to draw the Colin cover. That would be funny. Just Peter Griffin. That'd be good. Like some weird
Starting point is 00:19:41 hopscotch thing. Yeah. So, let's talk about the things They need to introduce in this film Because there's a lot Oh yeah They need to introduce Spider-Man They need to introduce Black Panther and Wakanda
Starting point is 00:19:51 And somehow make that relevant To the Civil War They also need to introduce Bucky again Like reintroduce him Yep They have to make Ant-Man Part of the Avengers now
Starting point is 00:20:01 Oh yeah Bucky's chained up to a toilet I forgot about that Yeah Yeah he's. Bucky's chained up to a toilet. I forgot about that. Yeah, he's there. Bucky's just going through rehab. He's getting off heroin. He's been chasing a monkey real bad. You mean dragon?
Starting point is 00:20:15 No, monkey. Chasing the monkey real bad. They got to chain him up so he can go cold turkey. And that's what corn stands for. It's a rehabilitation thing. Exactly. It's about, like I said, it's a rehabilitation. Exactly. It's kids on... Recreational...
Starting point is 00:20:32 Narcotics. Narcotics. Corn. That doesn't make it sound like they're fixing it. It sounds like a description. No, but Here's the thing I think Ant-Man is gonna have to be The comedic relief of the whole film
Starting point is 00:20:49 And that's real bad Spider-Man's not in it for much He's in it for like less than a minute or something Nah he'll be in it for more than a minute He's like I remember reading something he's not in it for much at all Because he was a late edition Yeah I know I think from what I heard it's like 15 minutes of screen time Which is a very big difference between one and that's and that's like a decent
Starting point is 00:21:08 oh no but wait is it like a four out of our film yeah it goes to four yeah sorry i forgot to tell you guys it's a four hour film super good um just a heads up though it finishes at 10 to 3 um we we joke on this podcast but that's a cold hard truth Colour me time Hashtag Let me die Who was the comedic relief in One Probably Tony Stark
Starting point is 00:21:35 But he's not gonna be Because you're gonna get You forgot Because the most recent superhero movie you saw Was Batman V Superman Which was all punches, no quips. Yeah, that's true. I forgot how heavy it was on the quips, though. I noticed when we first started talking about Man of Steel
Starting point is 00:21:54 when it first came out, we're talking about the return of Superman. I was like, return of Superman, he threw a hot zero punches. And Man of Steel, like, too many punches. Then BVS is like, like again they just still haven't got the punch ratio right. Because he can't punch anyone that's not
Starting point is 00:22:09 doomsday because he'll kill them. Which is fine. That's the struggle. That's the struggle. If you punch someone he'll make their skull inside out.
Starting point is 00:22:19 But he did. He punched a terrorist. No he threw a terrorist he should have. Oh fuck that scene would have been way better if he just punched the terrorist. Just flew he threw a terrorist. He should have. Oh, fuck. That scene would have been way better if he just punched the terrorist.
Starting point is 00:22:26 The terrorist just flew through the wall. Tell me you don't want to do like an x-ray on the side of Superman's fist in slow motion, punching a guy's face, crushing that skull, hitting brain, turning it to just like liquid in his head. No, I like to imagine like an x-ray. You see the punch and it just like the head just bursts into flames.
Starting point is 00:22:46 And then when it comes out of x-ray he's also using his heat vision oh he should use his x-ray vision so he can see that while it's happening that's the type
Starting point is 00:22:53 of Superman we've got is Superman's x-ray vision even part like this is super off topic but is it even part of the DC no neither is freeze breath
Starting point is 00:23:00 freeze breath's the best power I know freeze Lex Luthor put him in put him in the sea put him in a river problem solved that's the puddle
Starting point is 00:23:12 put him in a puddle there we go now Lex give me another mess fuck you bald prick what is going to be the majority why is this film called Captain America is it going to be all about Captain America copping with it or is it going to be the majority why is this film called captain america is it going to be all about captain america copping with it or is it going to be basically like
Starting point is 00:23:29 another avengers what do we well i guess because they're contractually contractually contractually obliged no it's gonna it's because uh iron man won't be like it's not gonna be 50 50 split and you're gonna meant to want to i feel like the film is going to sort of frame it so it could be either way but you're meant to side with captain america feel like the film is going to sort of frame it so it could be either way but you're meant to side with Captain America. And little team Cap. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:48 And I have a feeling that because of all the Bucky stuff it's going to be mostly men. Fuck Cap. Yeah I know. I knew you got it wrong. I was waiting for you
Starting point is 00:23:57 to figure it out. That's fine. Hashtag let Zammett die. Hashtag make Zammett die. Hashtag too tired. Yeah. So if you get all midnight screening tonight Use the hashtag too tired and hashtag let me die And we'll be able to see all your tweets
Starting point is 00:24:12 Or just tweet us at Sandspence Radio That's fine too We've got a lot of options tonight If you see us and we look tired We are You got it If anyone's listening to this before you see the movie like the midnight screening keen very keen but okay yes the thing is there's there's so many characters in this
Starting point is 00:24:34 that i feel like it's just gonna be not because you're gonna get the third yeah probably but you're gonna get most of the it's a two hour and 45 minute film don't forget that or two hour 40 minute whatever anyway um so you're gonna get a lot of like little groups. Yeah, that's true. So like things like Vision, Wanda, and those two will probably be together. Although in the trailer, there's a bit of a biff between them.
Starting point is 00:24:56 A little tiff. Bloody few punch-ons. Punch-ons between mates. Hey, it happens when you're a superhero. That's the point of this film. Punch-ons between mates. Punch-ons between mates. Captain America, punch-ons between mates hey it happens when you're a superhero isn't that the point of this film punch-on between mates punch-on between mates yeah Captain America
Starting point is 00:25:08 punch-ons between mates alright so obviously there's gonna be a falling out with these two and they're gonna be revealed as it's all just some big plot
Starting point is 00:25:16 by like a crossbow is it gonna be a Hydra again please let it be Hydra again oh hey you know what honestly because of Captain America
Starting point is 00:25:23 because of the Winter Soldier they might just open with the fact that, yes, Hydra's behind. Not open with it, but just be like... Be very upfront about it. As in the audience is aware straight off the bat. Is it going to be something like, Bucky's gotten free or whatever from his mind Hydra control? He went and he saw the thing, the memorial of him,
Starting point is 00:25:40 and he was like, I was a good bloke once. Why did I become such a bad bloke? Yeah. It just feels like it should be like a Tay-Tay song. I used to be a good bloke but now I'm such a bad bloke. Why didn't I change
Starting point is 00:26:00 what type of bloke I was? That's Taylor Swift's new song, Blokes, on her new album, Blokes. So he's gone and been like, I was a good bloke. Good slash bad bloke. I was a good bloke, now a bad bloke, and I want to be a good bloke again.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Yeah. So he's now free of the Hydra bullshit. So it would be like Hydra converging on Bucky being like, we want Bucky back, because Bucky was good to us. The movie? Killed a bunch of shit. And then Bucky being like, we want Bucky back because Bucky was good to us. The movie? Yeah. Killed a bunch of shit.
Starting point is 00:26:27 And then Captain America being like, no, we got to rehab him. And then maybe Iron Man being, or Tony Stark being like, no, he's got to pay for his crimes. Probably. I have a feeling that that scene that we see in the film where Bucky tries to shoot Tony Stark in the head is going to be pretty early on.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Well, you'd want that to be. Oh yeah, because Tony Stark at that point is just Tony Stark. He's is going to be pretty early on. Well, you'd want that to be. Oh, yeah, because Tony Stark at that point is just Tony Stark. He's not Iron Man-ing. So Bucky might just be flat out. Iron Man might do something and then Bucky's like, you're fucked, mate. Bad bloke Bucky.
Starting point is 00:26:59 And then he tries to shoot him in the head and then Cap's like, what happened to good bloke Bucky? And Bucky's like, oh, God. You're right. I was such a bad bloke for a bit let's be a good bloke or is it going to be something like Hydra he's already under
Starting point is 00:27:07 sort of like is he still Hydra is he not and maybe Hydra like go assassinate Tony Stark yeah could be we never
Starting point is 00:27:13 like his allegiances are but what like fucking it seems like such a personal problem that has nothing to do with Ant-Man
Starting point is 00:27:21 or Black Panther the Vision why does the Vision care why are they all caring like if you're Ant-Man and you Panther the vision why does the vision care why are they all caring like if you're Ant-Man and you've just come you're like I guess maybe I'll join the Avengers I just got this suit and they're like hey fuck not who do you hate hey little bloke you used to be a big bloke and now you're a little bloke don't you remember what it was like to be a little bloke come little little bloke for us. He's going to become a giant bloke.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Oh, 100%. Because he's got a new suit in the trailer. If that happens, I'll be happy. If he becomes real big and eats someone. No, I want to see him. I don't want him to become giant bloke yet. I want him little bloke in this movie. And we see him on an arrow, which is something you're going to be very happy about.
Starting point is 00:28:04 I love that. That's the best use of him. Hawkeye is bloke-y in this movie. And we see him on an arrow, which is something you're going to be very interested in. I love that! That's the best use of him. Hawkeye is an Ant-Man delivery system. They should put, rather than make Ant-Man in the wasp, they should make Ant-Man in the Hawkeye. You know what would be the best move if you were Hawkeye in Ant-Man? You put Ant-Man on an arrow, right? He holds
Starting point is 00:28:19 real tight. Shoot someone in the gut. Then Ant-Man becomes big again. That is cool. And he's just like out of their skin. And then he gets back on the arrow. I think we discussed gut. Then Ant-Man becomes big again. That is cool. And he's just like out of their skin. And then he gets back on the arrow. I think we discussed this in an Ant-Man episode. Hang on. He gets back on the arrow. And then what?
Starting point is 00:28:36 Then Hawkeye goes and picks it up. He gets tiny again. Loads of it again. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we mentioned this in the Ant-Man episode Because Ant-Man could just Like get small Go in people's mouths And then just get big
Starting point is 00:28:48 Actually if he strapped Himself to a boomerang And then just has Like a knife Too bad Captain Boomerang's DC That is a shame That's always a shame There's actually a boomerang
Starting point is 00:28:59 There's a boomerang In Marvel He's a villain He's a Spider-Man villain Oh that's good I like how Marvel and DC They're all the same heroes They're all just different names.
Starting point is 00:29:05 You got your Swamp Men and your men things. You got your boomerangs and your Captain. One's a higher rank. You got your Flash and your Quicksilvers. You got your fucking Captain Marvel and you got your Marvel Comics. No, Captain Marvel and Captain Mar-Vell. Oh, that's right. Very different.
Starting point is 00:29:21 I mean, one's a child who can become a man And one's a space goblin Yeah Three Died of cancer Space cancer Space goblins I thought of cancer But he died in space
Starting point is 00:29:31 Would you call it space cancer? Yeah let's call it space cancer Be glad that you only had Testicular cancer And not space cancer That's true But is that cancer of the space? No because if you went to space
Starting point is 00:29:40 And you still had the cancer That would have been Space testicular cancer You would have had Space balls mate Ah Alright What a reference to space and you still have the cancer, that would have been space testicular cancer. You would have had space balls, mate. Ah! Alright. What a reference.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Like the film, Spaceballs. Anyway, why does Wakanda care? No, what does the country... There's going to have to be a big political thing that they haven't put in the trailer because it would make a bad trailer thing. Unless they're going to do what BBS tried to do, which was like with Superman.
Starting point is 00:30:06 Granny's piss. The political thing, the granny's piss thing, which was every, because Superman is so powerful, right? Yeah, he is. So every action or every non-action is a political statement. So the Avengers are very powerful, so every statement or action and non-action is a political statement. So we need you to be doing something.
Starting point is 00:30:23 But that still seems like an odd jump from them to be like, yeah, and Wakanda's like, well, look. Is Korn like world police? Maybe. Maybe they're like the Interpol of the Avengers. So we have Avengers and then we have world police. What if it's like Bucky does something fucked up in Wakanda? Wait, whose team is Black Panther on?
Starting point is 00:30:39 Team Iron Man. Yeah, good. So Bucky does something fucked up in Wakanda. Black Panther's like, hey! None of that. We gotta police these cunts. Iron Man is like, yeah. Yeah, yes we do.
Starting point is 00:30:54 Uh-huh. And then they fight. Then the punch-ons occur. Is that a theory I have? That's a good one i guess they could do that i don't distract you guys are gonna like this our listeners maybe if they're fucking hardcore shut up a second fans yeah our some our friend full-time friend occasional guest aaron magro just text me to say he set up NMAGS News. Uh-huh. Because Aaron likes to call himself AMAGS, and he started a new Twitter account called NMAGS, as in News Mags.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Okay. And now he's just going to post news. And that's good. About himself or the world? Ah, with him, who knows? Anyway, follow NMAGS News, everyone, for news updates. Classic full-time friend. Anyway, all right, sure.
Starting point is 00:31:42 Aaron Magro. It's a full-time position. It is. Civil War. How do weraw it's a full time position it is civil war how do we think it's going to
Starting point is 00:31:49 end Captain America dying yeah you know what this movie
Starting point is 00:31:53 is this movie Captain America realized whatever it's us
Starting point is 00:31:57 fighting is doing more damage than good kind of like in the civil war arrest me
Starting point is 00:32:01 gets arrested and got shot by crossbones yeah but how are they going to make it so that Captain America will come back in Infinity War?
Starting point is 00:32:09 Space time. Space gloves. No, the time gem or the reality gem. Oh, yeah, the mind gem. Mind gem. Or the fucking... Any of the gems.
Starting point is 00:32:16 There's enough gems. Yeah. All of them together. Ah, hey, there you go. So the gauntlet, whatever, Iron Man gets it and like fill in all grief and shit
Starting point is 00:32:25 over his death as Steve Rogers puts him back. Yeah, props. Bada bing, bada boom, fuck you. Yeah. Bada bing, bada boom, doing your job for you. Yeah, no, although Marvel have a history of death cop-outs, is this one too many? That would be so funny if they just nobody died in this movie.
Starting point is 00:32:42 I really want to say that Thor's hammer's going to crack and it's going to be a gem. But maybe one will go to frog Thor. I reckon that's going to happen in Ragnarok. Yeah, well, Thor's not going to be in this. I'm super pumped. No, he's not in it. No Thor, no Hulk.
Starting point is 00:32:52 I'm real excited for Ragnarok. Yeah, because I... It's like a space road trip with Thor and Hulk. They're the classic straight man and funny man. They're an odd couple. Hulk gets big and angry. Thor is sort of boring. Chuck him in a car, send him to space.
Starting point is 00:33:07 And then they'll meet Purple Hulk. Purple Hulk. He'll be up there. Go to Egypt, they'll meet Blue Hulk. Mate. The best. All the Hulks of the rainbow. Hashtag all the Hulks of the rainbow.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Huh. Okay, yeah, I reckon that's going to happen in Ragnarok. Probably. You reckon it's going to be a space jam? I reckon, yeah, there's going to be some gem in the middle of Thor's hammer. Because, what gem are we missing? Because the soul gem, or the mind gem, is either going to be in fucking... That's Vision's head.
Starting point is 00:33:36 No, that's the other gem. So we're missing two gems. Yeah, but let's talk about the gems. Oh, fuck, this is going to test me. So Loki's staff is the mind gem. You know what? I'm going to save us a lot of time. Give me two seconds.
Starting point is 00:33:49 Let's just Google it. I was going to say there's a power gem, which was the Aegir or whatever it was called. The red thing. The Aether. The Aether. There was the orb. What?
Starting point is 00:33:57 Which orb? The man in space. You mean the power gem? The one in Guardians of the Galaxy? Yeah. Isn't that power gem? The one in Guardians of the Galaxy? Yeah. Isn't that power gem? Rowan. Rohan.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Rohan. Yeah. The accuser. Yeah. That was Ronan. Ronan. Ronan the accuser. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Writers of Rohan are not in anything to do with Marvel. That's a good book there. Everyone, don't see Captain America. Read the writers of Rohan Are not in Anything to do with Marvel Wow that's a good book though Everyone Don't see Captain America Read Read the Riders of Rohan No It doesn't appear in the Lord of Rims
Starting point is 00:34:31 You're thinking of Rowan of Rims I'm thinking of Rowan of Rims Emily Rogers Rowan of Rims Fuck I loved Emily Rogers That Emily Rogers wrote some fucking Ripper book
Starting point is 00:34:38 Is it Team Power Incus her as well? Yeah I think so Alright Man that was sick Oh that's right Because they're called stones in this We've been calling them gems like cockheads. Space stone,
Starting point is 00:34:48 which was a tesseract. Bam. Mind stone, which is now Invision's head. Slam. Reality stone, which is the ether, which is the fucking Guardians of the Galaxy. No, that's Thor 2 red shit. Yep. Thank you, man. Power stone, which is the orb.
Starting point is 00:35:05 Jam! Which the Nova Corps currently have since 2014, according to this. I don't know if that is entirely... Yeah. Okay, I guess Guardians of the Galaxy was set in 2014. Anyway, so that means we're missing two. Which ones? They don't have names yet. Which ones?
Starting point is 00:35:23 Dusha, help. Solentime time Spam rhyme Soul and time Soul and time Alright so Guardians of the Galaxy Implies that the two stones Color are either green or orange
Starting point is 00:35:33 Alright so Thor would have the soul No No You gotta be good pure of soul To lift it up You fucking hot Hear this
Starting point is 00:35:42 Hear this shit You fucking cunts Your classic catchphrase It this hear this shit you fucking cunts your classic catchphrase it's hear this shit you stupid cunts the classic Jackson catchphrase ah but yes
Starting point is 00:35:56 in god damn Doctor Strange there will be a stone because that's the pattern yeah stone film not stone film stone film not stone film this is a not stone film so there'll be a stone in Doctor's the pattern. Yeah. Stone film, not stone film. Stone film, not stone film. This is a not stone film, so there'll be a stone in Doctor Strange. And that's gonna be the soul stone. Do you care? Why can't that be the time one? Because that doesn't make sense. He ain't a time doctor,
Starting point is 00:36:13 he's a magic doctor. Alright, also they could just rename the two, like it might be soul and time. It could be, time will be one of them though. Cause his fucking orb of Aragamamo. That's gonna be one as well? as well yeah no that's gonna be the soul one fuck let's just put like eight and dr strange they're all in it i reckon because like you know it gotta be pure of soul or pure of heart or whatever force hammer ain't gonna crash it's not gonna be a gem although
Starting point is 00:36:38 that would be a big reveal that'd be neat like hey don't get me wrong, but it's just not going to happen. No. Because the orb of Agamototo is... Agamemnon. Agamemnon. Agamototo, which plays Africa a lot. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Where's Agamemnon? Where did that come from? Troy.
Starting point is 00:37:00 Oh, that's right. Anyway, his orb necklace is definitely a stone. Like, it's almost... It's the same, it's the right color and it's everything. Fine, I'll concede. Yeah. And then I don't know who gets the time gem, because I don't know who. Kang the Conqueror. Who else is coming?
Starting point is 00:37:20 Black Panther? Inhumans? No, that's been cancelled. Inhumans hasn't been cancelled It's been postponed indefinitely It's been cancelled That sounds like Cancel to me
Starting point is 00:37:29 Who else we got? Captain Marvel's coming Before or after Infinity War? Because she might get it She's coming after Infinity War No yeah But they'll have to have it before Oh no no
Starting point is 00:37:37 I didn't know where she Yeah okay But she's going to be In Infinity War They're doing exactly The same thing with her As what they did with Black Panther I'm pretty sure.
Starting point is 00:37:47 Yeah, I don't know who will get the time one. Maybe that'll be the fucking focus of Infinity War. There is two of them, remember? And they'll both probably be two and a half hours each. Super good. Cool. So, we set up. So, the film starts probably going to be with Spider-Man.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Spider-Man around. And then Tony Stark's going to be like, Oi, you. So, we're going to get the set up of the world. What's that going to be? So, what is the set up? It's going to be like, oi, you, is anyone going to get the setup of the world? What's it going to be? So what is the setup? It's going to be like, yo, here's what is the status quo.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Because you've got to get all that shit out of it. Ah, it's going to open similar to... You need to have a setup of status quo of the actual world. It's going to set up,
Starting point is 00:38:15 I reckon, similar to Avengers 2, how there's like, people being like, hey, what if the Avengers are actually fucking bullshit? Actually, that's what I was going
Starting point is 00:38:22 to say before. There is a chance that this is going to be very similar thematically to Batman v. Superman, but just probably significantly better. Or worse, I guess.
Starting point is 00:38:34 Those are two of the options. Imagine it's significantly worse. Nah. I'd be dead in my seat. You'd just look at me as a skeleton. You'd be like, oh, Jack. I don't know if Marvel can fuck the pooch that much Well that's the thing Batman v Superman is such a unique fucked mess
Starting point is 00:38:51 Like it's I love it so much I think about it every day But yeah I don't think you can really top that in terms of terribleness It'll be at the worst fine People fighting in a car park There'll be punchchons between mates so what is
Starting point is 00:39:07 this current world? what is this world after Slovakia? it's probably going to be like all the Avengers they did good, did they do good? that's going to be the question it's going to be basically the themes of season 2 of Daredevil in a film is it good if a bad
Starting point is 00:39:23 person does a bad thing to make a good thing happen? I mean a good person does a bad thing to make a good thing happen? No. I mean, a good person does a bad thing to make a good thing happen. Also, you better remember that boardroom scene where they're going through the kill count of each of the events. Tony Stark and Steve Rogers are there. Oh, Thunderbolt Ross is also going to be there. Oh, good ass. I love that guy. I hope Abomination's
Starting point is 00:39:40 there. I thought Abomination. He was going to be in Avengers 1. Did you know? No, I did not did not they approached him they were like yo man who used to be on the mentalist or whatever i don't tim rolf tim ross no um do you want to come back and be he was he was game but then they canceled his they like did a few different things instead yeah um but said gave a weak third act yeah what a surprise Marvel Didn't see that one coming Set up a status quo being like Maybe the new Avengers are being trained And then it's at the boardroom
Starting point is 00:40:13 And it's kind of like The government might try to shut down the new Avengers Potentially And they'd be like look we're trying to shut you down Because you're doing worse You're doing a lot more worse than good So instead of the Avengers we're going to set up K so that's here and um tony stark can you please lead it that'll maybe be the status quo i'm gonna go off something similar to that i reckon they're gonna
Starting point is 00:40:33 shut down the avengers the new avengers and then uh capped is gonna still be hunting down metahumans no not shut up bucky bucky oh And he's going to be with Falcon, like a really small group, like sort of doing vigilante work. And then Bucky will... Damn it. I think it was still me. Yeah, it was. It's like...
Starting point is 00:40:55 Is it still recording? It's still recording with a backup there, so we'll see what happens. Interesting. I apologize. Okay. But then also, it's a beanbag. So... Yep. Go on. Like, hey.
Starting point is 00:41:08 So if you're still listening to this, everything went smoothly. And we didn't lose any of the episode. If you're not... Go on. Eat shit, I suppose. Hashtag eat shit. Auntie and Bucky, small vigilante. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:23 So I reckon they'll be doing like vigilante shit and that's how they're gonna get Ant-Man cause you get the scene that you got at the end of Ant-Man in yeah yeah yeah and then
Starting point is 00:41:31 that's when they'll chuck him in the truck and that's where you're gonna get that other trailer where he's like oh my god I'm meeting fucking Avengers and shit seek ass right
Starting point is 00:41:40 seek yeah I guess there'll be a period of time in the film where they're just collecting everyone together heist film yeah like yeah I guess there'll be a period of time in the film Where they're just collecting everyone A heist film Yeah I guess Where they're like oh we're in Wakanda
Starting point is 00:41:51 I don't know that's not how they're going to get Wakanda in there His name's not Wakanda that's his house Black Panther of the Wakanda house Wakanda house But you know what I mean That's the country he owns Yeah It's a big house Raquando house. But you know what I mean. That's the country he owns. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:08 It's a big house. A lot of roommates. But yeah, so there'll be that sort of period of time. And I guess that'll be the second act, gathering the teams and shit. Yeah. Yeah. And then the third act will just be the biggest punch on in the city. Biggest punch on the Marvel Cinematic Universe has seen so far.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Until Infinity War where the same thing's going to happen again. I reckon the big catalyst is going to be Bucky trying to shoot Iron Man. I reckon everyone's going to be on the fence. You know what I mean? Everyone's going to be like, I don't know if this is a good idea. And then Bucky's going to be trying to shoot Iron Man and then be like, oh, I don't know if this is a good idea. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And then Bucky's going to probably try and shoot Iron Man
Starting point is 00:42:46 and then be like, yep. Iron Man's like, yep. Nah, you fucked, mate. You're a bad bloke. Bad bloke. Rolled up newspaper. BBB. BBB.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Sorry for that. Second act, yeah, it's just going to be all like little bits of punch-ons here and there. Punch-ons. A couple of punch-ons here and there. Maybe crossbones goofing about. Crossbones? Do you reckon there's going to be villains? Is crossbones not going to be
Starting point is 00:43:08 big players? No. Or is it mostly just going to be... It's going to be Hydra. Is Baron Zemo in this film? Or am I making that up? Yeah, I think he is. Baron Zemo. A villain that how will they make look cool? Okay. He has a purple sock. Here's what they're going to do. Yeah, his face. Here's what they're going to do. Done. Like a heat pack that he wears
Starting point is 00:43:24 as a beanie. Here's what they're going to do. We heat pack he's what they're gonna do we joked about purple hawk yes here's what they're gonna do they're gonna introduce a villain at the start of the film sort of forget about him for a bit he'll come back for a bit there'll be a week third act everyone will cheer that's true okay so there'll be a post credit sequence everyone will forget
Starting point is 00:43:42 about the week third act cuz it'll be way too hyped for fucking Thor 3 Ragnarok. No, but fucking other bloke. Doctor Strange. Weird bloke. What big thing is going to fall from the sky and crash into a little thing?
Starting point is 00:43:58 I don't think that'll happen this time. I think it'll be a building. I reckon they'll fight inside the Avengers complex. Oh, wait, no, it's a street fight. You see it in the trailer. It's airport, isn't it? It's like baggage claims and shit there. That's all right.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Where are they trying to go? It's got a holiday, mate. No, fuck everything we've said in this episode so far. Where do you think they're trying? Why are they at an airport? Where are they going? I think Wakanda's trying to go home because he's sick and tired but nobody's letting him that's my theory his name's not how about they're all going on a holiday and it's like they've had enough and then it's just like
Starting point is 00:44:42 nah border patrol get some gush. Border Patrol, i.e. Tony Stark and his chums. Yes. You know, more think about this. Like with Batman v Superman, which is the last episode like this we did, the trailers didn't give us much, but we guessed the storyline pretty accurately. But there's a big chunk of this. Even though these trailers were pretty detailed, it's kind of hard to tell.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Yeah, it is a little bit. Actually, I don't really know that much going into this I assume Cap's going to die but that's just pride knowledge to the comics And hopefully they don't And hopefully they don't Imagine if they could kill People have been saying that they might twist it and kill Tony Stark That's a possibility
Starting point is 00:45:18 But I don't think so But he's been confirmed to Spider-Man so Maybe he's in a hospital Maybe he's a hologram Maybe he's Jarvis Maybe he gets's a hologram I kind of hope they don't maybe he's Jarvis maybe he gets killed
Starting point is 00:45:27 and gets made Jarvis Mark 2 because Vision is the actual Jarvis and Mark 2 oh yeah Vision looks like he's gonna
Starting point is 00:45:34 eat shit in this as well hopefully but then like him and Wanda kind of have a bit of a fight and they fall in love a fuck fight
Starting point is 00:45:41 he puts a baby in her somehow yeah he's short twins he puts two babies in her good Tony Stark comics. Yeah, he short twins. He puts two babies in her. Good. Tony Stark was like, I'll put sperm in my robot. Wait, is that?
Starting point is 00:45:52 I'm not afraid. I am not afraid. I'll put sperm in my robot. I am not afraid. That's not how it's short. Sure, Jack. that's not how it sure sure Jack you know everyone's like Tony how did this happen he's like you know when I made Ultron I just filled him chock full of jizz
Starting point is 00:46:13 just in case I just wanted a robot to feel human love ejaculation seemed like the next step so what better kind of that is to make him make him a parent Just like Tony Stark and fucking Mark Ruffalo the Hulk
Starting point is 00:46:30 Looking over the body and the thing And he's like not ready And Tony Stark's just with a big jug Move out of the way Like the jug you put on a water cooler And he just like twists it into his head Where the gem goes that's actually a nozzle where you just insert the jizz
Starting point is 00:46:50 that's what fucking that'll be the moral like the ethical dilemma of this should we have put jizz in this robot whose jizz is it don't imagine Tony's time oh no that means that Wanda's pregnant. Oh, Vision and fucking Tony will punch on
Starting point is 00:47:08 because Vision will be like, the baby looks like you. And he'll be like, yeah, I filled you with my jizz. That was fun and filthy. I saved, I was doing that for months. Vision's like, oh God. Oh Lord. But yeah. Like, oh god. Oh lord.
Starting point is 00:47:25 But yeah. Like, it happened. Magic. One day she willed it to be. Because she's a reality bender. Oh, she reality bended her baby. Of course. The more logical explanation than a robot who can ejaculate.
Starting point is 00:47:40 A robot full of jizz is actually a more logical explanation. You're right. Like just semen reserves in his back somewhere You know like there's that oil Jar thing that you use to like Yeah like an old timey Like they used to fix the tin man Yeah that's what I'm imagining that but full of jizz
Starting point is 00:47:57 Oh sluggish I just imagine like Hulk flip him Open the nozzle What's this the jizz What? How flip him. Open the nozzle. What's this? The jizz. What? How else are you going to make a baby?
Starting point is 00:48:13 And be happy and feel human emotions and be a shield around the world. Glug, glug. Imagine that awkward moment as it glugged into Vision. Glug, glug, glug. And they stared each other across the body of the semen robot they made. The new Vision series is actually really cool. He's actually built himself a wife and two kids. That's all right. Good for him.
Starting point is 00:48:28 That's like Bride of Frankenstein. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. I know my fucking literature. My references are bloody on point. They're hot and far. Spaceballs and old-timey literature.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Let me tell you about Roseanne. So, starts off Spider-Man. I will. Being like, boardroom, no more Avengers. We got Korn instead. Yep. Cat America's like, nah, fair. I'll go hunt Robucky down, but not tell anyone. Just call him Robucky.
Starting point is 00:48:57 Dr. Robucky. Dr. Robucky. Eggman. So he does that. He's like, yo, oi, Ant-Man, come over here. He so he does that he's like yo um oi ant man come over here does his stuff he's like hey i got bucky free and bucky's like yay i'm free to go assassinate tony stark he chuffed off and and um kills him roger's like tries to kill him damn tries to kill him then dennis is like oopsie daisies no tony must do something at first he must be like
Starting point is 00:49:24 no we're retiring the Avengers. We're doing something. Because otherwise, Bucky's not going to... There's going to have to be something. Because Bucky... I don't think Bucky's going to be Hydra at that point.
Starting point is 00:49:31 No. Because if he's Hydra, I reckon he's going to be Hydra until he gets stuck in that thing. And then Cap will be like... And then he just sweats it out. Just don't be... Like I said,
Starting point is 00:49:39 he's a dick. He's following the monkey. He's chasing that monkey. Chasing the monkey. He's chasing that monkey. Chasing the monkey. Bad bloke Bucky. The old triple B. Wants to be GBB. Good bloke Bucky.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Yeah. So I think Tony Stark will have to do something. It might even be something really inconsequential. Like maybe even like at the start of the film, how he went and just iced those terrorists. Yeah, that was good. You know what I mean? I mean, like at the start of the first...
Starting point is 00:50:05 Anyway, like that. Something like that. Or even the fact that Tony Stark was once the biggest weapons manufacturer in the land. Bucky might be like, not on. This is a cocky dick. Nah. It's gonna be something to do with Tony will make an announcement. It might even put...
Starting point is 00:50:22 You know what? It might be Tony says something that sort of puts Steve Rogers in trouble. And Bucky's like, that's my mate. Not my man. You're fucked. Yeah. And then shoots him.
Starting point is 00:50:34 He's got the kind of equivalent of getting your older brother to beat up the kid who called you a big, dumb, loser, nerd. Exactly. What you call me? You're fucked. You're fucked,
Starting point is 00:50:43 mate. I'm getting my cousins And your fucked is obviously Like you are Space F U K T You're fucked You're fucked mate But yeah so
Starting point is 00:50:58 Like a text that you would receive in high school And be afraid of Hashtag you're fucked mate But yeah so I imagine either Tony Stark does something or just Bucky decides he's had enough. Yeah. And ices him and then it's like whoa everyone make a decision. Whose side are you on
Starting point is 00:51:14 in this situation? Hashtag who will win. Yep. Hashtag who is going to come out on top in Avengers. No I mean Captain America Civil War It's a long hashtag It's a good one
Starting point is 00:51:30 Yeah and then there'll be punch-ons Where does Wakanda fit into this though? I mean the country and also the guy The man Wakanda I have to assume that something will happen On Wakandan soil To get him involved Because he's a very
Starting point is 00:51:44 He's pretty centralised to his city. Is Gollum in this one? Gollum? Yeah. What's his name? Andy Serkis. Oh. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:51:51 I honestly don't know. Maybe. There could be a connection to him. Why? Who's he? He's his claw. Who's his claw? Guy that uses...
Starting point is 00:52:02 Claws. Is this... No, he's actually... Actually, he doesn't It's like K-L-A-W Oh, I know Claw Yeah, he gets his arm torn off by Ultron Yeah, that's right
Starting point is 00:52:11 So maybe he'll be involved and it'll be Maybe Tony Stark Oh, Martin Freeman He's playing a villain But he won't be a villain at the start He'll be like a bureaucrat dickhead He'll be an Obadiah Cain Stain
Starting point is 00:52:21 Stain Obadiah Cain St Stain? Stain. Obadiah Cain Stain, yeah. Of Iron Man 1. No, well, potentially the thing Tony Stark does is politically related to Wakanda. Like, that could be just how you rope it in. Because, honestly, you've just got to rope him in a bit. Maybe Tony Stark tries to make a Vibramian My Iron Man suit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:39 And then they're just like, no. Maybe he tries to make Ultron again. That wouldn't be surprising that much. Maybe he tries to make Ultron again. That wouldn't be surprising. Maybe he tries to make a whole fleet of Iron Men. Now that Ultron movie was bad. I am surprisingly excited for this, considering how much Age of Ultron broke me. Yeah, I know. Age of Ultron and Ant-Man were like two hot, wet pieces of garbage.
Starting point is 00:53:00 Ant-Man was... BVS really reinvigorated me for this film. Yeah. I'm actually kind of, I'm tired. But I'm excited. I'm excited to see Ant-Man get... BVS really reinvigorated me for this film. I'm actually kind of... I'm tired. But I'm excited. I'm excited to see Ant-Man get little on things and then get big and maybe hit a guy.
Starting point is 00:53:12 He's going to be very big. Maybe step on a dude. Yeah, like I've been asked about this on Twitter and on our Reddit like, oh, you used to love Avengers. Why do you hate it? No, no, I didn't. That was never me.
Starting point is 00:53:24 I saw Avengers 2 and I was like yeah okay and then I saw it again and then I was like you know what I'd prefer to die yep hashtag let me die let me let me die but look hey this film no but Winter Soldier is fucking sick and I'm excited for Civil War I like the Captain America films tend not to disappoint yeah they're my favorite of the uh I would rank oh well I don't know about the third one yet because I haven't seen it. Imagine this whole time I had seen it. That would be rude.
Starting point is 00:53:50 That would be fine, I guess. Yeah, like Captain America 1 and 2 are my favourite Avengers films by far. Captain America 1 is just Indiana Jones but with a shield and that's good. I love Captain America 2. I still love Iron Man 3. Yeah, they're great films.
Starting point is 00:54:04 Yeah. So this film will probably not. Yeah, they're great films. Yeah. So this film will probably not be garbage, but also it might be. Fingers crossed either way. The end. We'll tell you about it tomorrow. And on that note, I've been Joel. I have been Jackson.
Starting point is 00:54:17 I have also been Joel, and I was late to this. And my phone number is almost on the internet. Sure is. Nearly. And if you guys are at crown yeah village cinemas uh crown not the other one that i almost said village cinemas crown we will be there we are in the 1201 session if you see us come say hey don't hassle us during the movie jackson will be asleep i'll be slowly becoming a skeleton damn it might also be i'll be fucking
Starting point is 00:54:41 right as rain and if you see me today say the code word Roseanne and I'll buy you a drink. That's today's code word. I'm going to abuse that so much. Oh, fuck you. But yeah, if you want us to see your tweets about the Civil War, please use the hashtag LetMeDie and tweet at SansPantsRadio. You can tweet us individually if you want to.
Starting point is 00:55:06 We all kind of respond to Twitter pretty well. We've got Jackson with all dogs are dead. Zamet with goddammit Zamet and I am douche13. D-U-S-C-H 13. The numbers.
Starting point is 00:55:16 I feel like we could have interjected, but he's like, no, he's doing this good. He's got it. I don't need to do shit. Yeah, and our Sandspan's handle is Sandspan's Radio.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Message us on fucking Facebook Facebook if you want it's good Instagram I'm excited I'm excited
Starting point is 00:55:31 Squarespace Google Plus Google Plus smoke signals yell into a well whisper whisper to a rat and send it that way
Starting point is 00:55:41 guess the last two digits of my phone number just give me a call it'll be great Whisper it to a rat and send it that way? Guess the last two digits of my phone number. Just give me a call. Do we, do we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?
Starting point is 00:55:56 Why can't we be friends? If you think you can do it, you can do it. If you think you can do it, you can do it. If you think you can do it, you can do it. If you think you can do it,
Starting point is 00:55:58 you can do it. If you think you can do it, you can do it. If you think you can do it, you can do it. If you think you can do it, you can do it. If you think you can do it,
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