Plumbing the Death Star - What Do We Think Will Happen in Captain America: Civil War?
Episode Date: April 27, 2016In which our heroes meet up with their old mate, have some ideological differences, and then get into the worlds biggest punch on as we discuss civil war. We list the many different hulks, struggle to... remember the infinity gems, and give thanks shit for sitting on his ass for thirteen movies. Zammit is so unimaginably tired, Duscher talks good blokes and bad blokes, and Jackson just can't remember anyone's names. So grab your friends, find the nearest airport, and just start wailing into one another. Whoever wins, we're tiredWant to help us finally get to bed? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, and we can finally sleep. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Sans Pants Radio. In the midnight hour, I can feel your power.
Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's midweek, very late notice special of Plumbing the Death Star.
Where we ask the important questions like, what do we think is going to happen in Captain America Civil War, the 13th film in the avengers trilogy all right so now i've got the introduction straight off the bat there's just one thing
that's 100 gonna happen yep captain america is going to die he's gonna eat the yeah he's gonna
die and if he does it i'll be surprised Fucking Bucky is signed on Or whatever his name is
John Lawson
Josh Lawson
I think his name is Trosh Lau
Sebastian Stan
Mr Trosh
He's signed on for like 13 more films
And they're going to make 13 more Captain America
And Captain America himself
Is signed on for like one more
So guys Come come on now.
Also, people forget with the Marvel films
that because they're made for both people
that like comic books
and people that have no fucking idea what a book is.
I am very illiterate.
And a knight, yes.
It means that things that happen in the comic,
like big things that happen in the comic book
usually still happen in the movies
and are still treated like they're big.
So even though there was a run of comics straight after the Civil
War called The Death of Captain America
where Captain America died.
Wow. Time gun.
He gets shot with a time gun.
He gets shot with a time gun and
air quotation marks dies
but really just gets stuck in the wrong
bit of time. What is a time gun? It's a gun
that puts you in...
Hang on.
Joel Zammett, comic book expert.
Resident nerd.
Who was the doctor?
I want to say Facilier.
I think that's someone else.
Dr. Facilier is the villain from Princess and the Frog.
Is that what you mean?
It was someone, some Nazi.
It's always a Nazi.
Just brainwashed Sharon Carter to be like,
when the time is right right you'll shoot Captain
Or Steve Rogers with this particular gun
Or with a gun maybe
And then maybe does Sharon Carter
Like I'll wily my way out of this
And I'll use a time gun instead
No but that doesn't help mate
What is a time gun
She shoots him
And you get shot with it
And you get displaced in time
So you're lost in the time stream
Sure
I hope they introduce a time stream
I got tired as I was saying
I feel like that if somebody with two time machine guns
Just like laying into a crowd
Away in time
Now there's your next bloody crossover
Of Marvel you're welcome
Away in time. Now there's your next bloody crossover of Marvel. You're welcome. Away in time.
Captain America, away in time.
There we go.
So she, Sharon Carter, shoots Captain America.
Agent 13 shoots.
Who was confirmed for this film, by the way.
Shoots Steve Rogers with a time gun.
He just like disappears.
And then we just open up with the American Civil War.
Captain America pops in
and he's like right boys can you imagine for the south to rise again can you imagine how confusing
that would be well i mean that's actually captain america doing a rebel yell also that'll be good
because that means the next captain america movie will be captain america civil war 2 the first
civil war i really like that that's how you open the film because people are like why did captain because that means the next Captain America movie will be Captain America Civil War 2, the first Civil War.
I really like that that's how you open the film because people are like,
why did Captain America go back in time from getting shot?
Will they use a time gun?
Nah.
Crossbones will kill him.
He'll probably get like shivved or something.
Nah, crossbones.
He'll get crossbones.
Okay, hang on.
So what is the main point of contention in this?
Because in the comics
it's like unmask yourself reveal your identity to at least the government whatever and cat mario
be like no no i don't wanna i based on what we've seen in the trailers and like none of us have seen
the you know the deal if you're listening to this but just in case you welcome to the show. was in it really yeah who's he playing I don't know they announced him like two years ago it's something to do with Black Panther
from what I remember
maybe it's Black Panther's
butler
that's good
Black Panther's in it
as well
that's a thing
Captain America
will scratch
Black Panther's
gonna scratch
Captain America's
shield
Wakanda's gonna give me
the same issue
that wizards do
which is a good sentence
in that I'm gonna be like
where was he
where was he
throughout the rest
of the things?
Well we could also get that with Doctor Strange
Cause he is a wizard
There you go
Because
He is not in this
But he's mentioned in The Winter Soldier
I'm sure they'll mention him in this
They'll be like man and Doctor Strange is happening
I'm still fucking annoyed
That the stinger for the Age of Ultron At the end wasn't Scarlet Witch Going to see Doctor Strange is happening. I'm still fucking annoyed that the stinger for the Age of Ultron at the end wasn't Scarlet Witch going to see Doctor Strange.
Well, what's weird is that Doctor Strange really could.
Nah, because we got Thanos being like, yes, it's time for me to do something.
How long does it take you, Thanos?
Also, again, this is the 13th movie.
He had an infinite stone.
He gave one to Loki.
What a dickhead.
Fuck you, Thanos.
This is the 13th film of thanos trying
to get the infinite infinity gauntlet and what's it called um the infinite gauntlet infinity gauntlet
what's wrong with you guys and and and stones and he's sitting on a hot zero and we'll still be
sitting on a hot negative one yeah because he had one he gave it away gave one away oh wait no he
put the glove on.
He's got the glove.
That's a start.
And there's another glove that...
See, I like that idea.
There's two gloves, so actually there's ten.
There are two gloves in the comics.
Is there?
Yeah.
There's the Infinity Gauntlet and...
It's not the Infinity Glove.
That's funny.
I yelled at you.
No, it's the Infinity Gauntlet.
There's the Infinity Gauntlet and, like,
I'm sure it's not this,
but the Eternity Gauntlet
Or something
One's good
One's evil
Bada bing
Bada boom
I hope Thanos accidentally
Gets a good one
And keeps trying to kill people
Keeps bringing like
Steve Rogers back to life
That'd be funny
Bringing people out
Of the time stream
Caveman
No cause he won't be in this
Cause this is just gonna be
Solely dealing with the Avengers
But it is funny
That it is taking him 13
Did he just not want to sit up?
Because it's not like he's weak or anything.
Like, he could do it.
I guess it's that kind of like, he delegated, right?
He delegated wrong.
Micromanaged like a cockhead.
Has he only been on that floating space rock?
I guess he's doing something else.
No, because he's on the space rock in Avengers Stinger,
where everyone's like, who the fuck is this guy
What is this weird pink ball sack
Working at a cinema and knowing things
About fucking Avengers and just hearing
What people say
I legitimately heard people being like
It's a purple Hulk
I like that they said that like I get it
No everyone
Oh that's the best thing
Classic it's just a purple Hulk
Of course Hulk is green sometimes everyone oh that's the best classic it's just a purple hole of course it's from the comic books
hulk is green sometimes has a sister sometimes there's a purple hulk in space
incredible hulk the real good hulk the purple hulk in space the bad hulk the incredibly bad
hulk um bruce banning gets hit by. One of him goes to space and is purple.
One of him stays on Earth.
Oh yeah, and there was another thing.
So people realized who Thanos was
so that when we got the days of future past thing
at the end where it's apocalypse,
people are like, ah, it's Thanos.
Incorrect.
No, that was an Egyptian Hulk.
Ah, Blue Hulk.
One goes to space
One goes back in time
All the hulks of the rainbow
Just remember Roy G. Bibb
You got your red hulk
Yellow hulk
All the infinite gems just have hulks in them
What a twist
I reckon
Captain America will die at the end
I reckon we're going to get a death in the middle as well.
But a consequential death.
War Machine looks like he's going to die.
I was going to say, because in the comics,
they killed off an African-American,
so are they going to kill the only African-American?
No, I reckon...
No, both of them have a black friend.
Oh, they've got two black friends.
That's a really weird thing That they do with Marvel characters
They're like
You've got two options now
Everyone has one black friend
Who has an African American friend?
Who?
Doctor Strange in the movie
Yeah everyone's got a black child
No not the ancient one
The dude that becomes evil
Is that guy
That I cannot pronounce
Okay then
Starts with C
Pransky
That's not what they came on
The guy that's in 12 Years a Slave
Yeah yeah yeah
That starts
His name starts with C?
I don't know.
I cannot pronounce it.
Cherries.
That's close, I guess.
Cherries Bismore.
Apologies if you're listening to this show.
Cherries Bismore.
Apologies, Cherries, if you're listening.
That's on us for getting your name wrong.
What else is going to happen in this movie?
Okay, I don't think War Machine will die.
No.
Do you want to answer Zama's question he asked like maybe fucking 20 years ago yeah what
was your question so i reckon the central conflict of the like the reason that they have a civil war
is because captain america keeps one of them i don't remember which keeps talking about like
oh we got to be held responsible so i think one of them iron man's probably going to be like look
we got to be held responsible that means we got to like properly work for the government and got
to have like rules and regulations regarding what we do captain america's got to be like look we got to be held responsible that means we got to like properly work for the government and got to have like rules and regulations regarding what we do
captain america's got to be like no the government was hydra at once yeah i don't want that to happen
again he's like have you heard of scrolls because i'm scared are you a scroll imagine imagine if
they just go completely off the rails in this movie they're like tony stark's a scroll that
was sort of when they did the Breakworld, what it was called.
The Beyonder came about and did shit.
Fuck.
Secret Wars.
There you go.
Secret Wars.
When they did Civil War 2,
but not like Civil War 2 that's coming out. Not Civil War 2 a minority report.
No, but like another Civil War.
Yeah.
It actually is Skrulls.
That's good as.
That is good.
See, that's...
And so, fair enough.
That's the kind of bullshit I sign on for
when I open a comic book.
I want to get to the end.
Speaking of Hulk, man,
She-Hulk is banging Tony Stark in that one.
That's good as.
Super good.
I would be scared to bang She-Hulk.
Nah, I'm into it.
She-Hulk's the whole package, though.
Let's talk about that.
Smart.
Smart.
Strong.
Sexy.
A wrestler.
A lawyer.
Wears a leotard sometimes.
To court, too.
Yeah.
That's good.
That's against regulation.
My favorite wrestling move, which she does, it's actually one of her moves in Marvel vs. Capcom,
is that, like, where they run and then they jump, like, get horizontal in the air and do, like, a double kick.
Oh, yeah.
Is that a suplex?
No, suplex is a throw.
Yeah, no, suplex is when you, I don't know. No, the double kick oh yeah is that a suplex no suplex is a throw yeah no suplex is
when you i don't know no the double kick whatever i know what you mean but i just imagine she does
that to the judge and that makes me happy that's good he's like not guilty you're not guilty
like anyone yeah yeah but like vaginas that's what i want in a muscles that they can she'll
control them wait hulk can't yeah no but she can because she can she Yeah Nah, but she can
She can, she's in charge
Because she's a loyal
And also she only got the Gamma stuff through a blood transfusion from the Hulk, right?
That's how she got the Hulk
Yeah, she got Hulked because she was dying
Somebody thought it was a minor hulking
That was a stupid idea
Also, she's Hulk all the time but can be chill
I don't know, like
That's what I'm saying, she's not like a full Hulk Hulk
She's like a bit Hulk
No, but that's kind of, she's got like, she kind of got the shit end of
the deal.
I'd prefer to just be like crazy Hulk and not be able to control myself, but also just
be Bruce Banner sometimes.
Why?
I drank a lot of coffee before this episode.
That's true.
But yeah, so I think that's going to be the main conflict.
What?
Also, super funny.
What, Hulk is?
No.
She Hulk.
She Hulk.
Who gets custody of She-Hulk
Nah central conflict will be that
Bucky is back
He will do something that he'll get framed
Like he'll get framed for something
Will he get framed or did he do it
I reckon he'll be framed for it
Or because they're still looking for him
Like Tony Stark or something will catch him
And that's when the shooting in the head thing might happen
Or it'll be like
You need to be taken to task
You need to be made accountable
For all the shit you've done
While you were the Winter Soldier
We're like 80% sure at this point
That you've killed at least one president
Yeah?
You know what's weird?
So Tony Stark kind of doesn't work
He's not part of the Avengers anymore
He killed JFK Winter Soldier didn't kill JFK did he? You know what's weird? Yeah? So Tony Stark kind of doesn't work. He's not part of the Avengers anymore, yeah?
He killed JFK.
Winter Soldier didn't kill JFK, did he?
I haven't seen...
Oh, no.
See, look, the problem with this is...
Now I'm confusing movies with comics.
Yeah, I've promised myself that I would watch Avengers 2 before this
and even Winter Soldier, but instead I just watched...
Do you remember that scene where they all jump at once?
Way too much Roseanne
That's what Age of Ultron was, it was everyone jumps at once
in the snow
I hated that scene so much
Get out
If I want to see all the Avengers do a neat thing
I'll look at the poster
The funny thing is they didn't even use that for the poster
Like why did that happen?
It was the last scene of a trailer, it was a trailer scene
Don't worry guys, don't put it in the movie.
Hashtag, let me die.
If you want to live tweet the movie,
use the hashtag, let me die.
I thought Bucky killed JFK.
I don't think he killed JFK in the movie.
I'm not sure.
He froze.
Am I just mixing up, like, this and the comic
and, like, Days of Future Past? Are you a Skrull? Am I a mixing up this and the comic and Days of Future Past?
Are you a Skrull?
Am I a Skrull?
It's funny because I don't think Skrulls make a Skrull.
They're just like, yes, I'm a Skrull.
I wasn't Wolverine.
No, but don't Skrull.
Try again.
I picked up a comic book the other day.
I didn't realize that Savage Wolverine was just the title of a Wolverine series.
I picked it up expecting to see Wolverine with no nose.
I was so sad.
That is sad. That is sad as. No nose Wolverine is my favorite Wolverine.. I picked it up expecting to see Wolverine with no nose. I was so sad. That is sad.
No nose Wolverine is my favorite Wolverine. But what I was going to say, Iron Man's
no longer part of the Avengers, yeah?
Because there's the new Avengers.
That's like Skull and Vision.
So how weird would Tony Stark to be like
the Avengers, we didn't.
But you guys have got to be held accountable.
Oh no, that makes sense. I completely forgot about that.
So you reckon the Avengers that...
So the new Avengers will be...
Will probably...
Because the new Avengers are headed by Steve Rogers, yeah?
Yeah.
In a weird way, it makes more sense to flip it.
Like to have Tony Stark be...
I mean, Steve Rogers could be like...
Or is it going to be...
Let's call them, I don't know, like...
N'Avengers.
Yeah.
Nah.
New Avengers and New Avengers. Corn. call them i don't know like avengers yeah no new avengers and you have corn
let's call them corn so you have avengers and then you have corn yeah and it's corn is led by
tony stark uh-huh yeah because then say say like oh wait no that's not the new avengers the avengers
the new avengers they're just off new Avengers and Korn.
And then S.H.I.E.L.D. have been like,
Oi, Iron Man, can you put together Korn?
Because we need to be regulated or some shit.
We need to put this freak on a leash.
Yeah.
Yes.
So can you please put this freak on this leash?
And Iron Man's like, yes.
That's real stupid.
If that's the plot, that's so stupid.
They're like, we got the Avengers.
No, we don't trust them.
So Tony Stark, for some reason, we think your judgment's better.
Well, where the fuck is Tony Stark?
What is his role then?
Like, what's his...
I wonder if they're going to introduce him as like more of like a political...
Like, maybe he'll spend the first act of the film just as Tony Stark.
And then after he almost gets...
Bucky is probably going to...
I'm realizing we're seeing this tonight and I am so tired.
No, that's okay.
But all right.
You'll be in bed by 4 a.m.
I'll power through.
You'll be fine.
You're a chum.
You're a solid...
You'll be right.
You're a trooper.
Go to sleep in the cinema.
Buy a comfy bag of popcorn.
Yeah.
You're like, give me your squishiest popcorn.
We're going to a somewhat fancy cinema.
It's not Gold Coast.
Don't get too excited.
But the chairs are big.
You can have a good sleep if you want.
You can have like a hot nap, man.
Fuck.
I'll nap too.
I'm going to buy so many choc-tops.
I just might not see this movie and sleep outside in the lobby.
Yeah, no, that sounds good.
I like, you know, we were like, somebody's going to die in the middle.
How funny if it's Spider-Man?
I thought you were going to be like, how funny if it's me?
Hashtag let me die.
Hashtag who will win.
Hashtag let me die.
Wait, who will win the Batman or whatever?
Use that anyway.
It's free now.
Team Iron Man.
Recycle it.
Yeah, that's right.
It's Team Iron Man, Team Cap.
They're the hashtags.
Just in case you want to tweet in the movie, I guess.
Don't. I'll kick you out. See in Melbourne Central, right? Yeah. It's Team Iron Man, Team Cap. They're the hashtags. Well, just in case you want to tweet in the movie, I guess. There's this like... Don't, I'll kick you out.
See in Melbourne Central, right?
Yeah.
If you go back,
the people have drawn comics, whatever,
to sort of promote the film.
Yeah.
And they've just got all the people
kind of fighting together
and all saying shit.
But then they've got the one
with the speech bubble of Cap America
and Cap America is saying hashtag Team Cap.
Do you even know what a hashtag is, Cap?
I sincerely doubt that.
Captain America is not on Twitter.
His Twitter account is probably like,
how do I use Twitter?
And then a hashtag, not hashtagging anything,
and then no other tweets.
The word hashtag.
No, the third one would be test.
Yeah, exactly.
And then maybe he's friends with Tony Stark,
and that's it.
That's sad for you, Captain America.
How much...
All right, yes.
Go on.
Say what?
You reckon it's not gonna...
Who's gonna die in the middle act?
No, I was gonna say it'd be funny if it was Spider-Man
because they've announced a Spider-Man film,
and everyone's like,
why would you do that?
That'd be all right.
Spider-Man will have two suits in it.
We'll probably see him at first being like,
I'm a little kid fighting crime.
How do you reckon it's gonna open?
Spider-Man. I? Spider-Man.
I reckon Spider-Man.
Because he was introduced late and the easiest way to
introduce him into the film is to have a scene
that's unrelated to everything else.
That would be clever.
Mirror the... This would be a good
way of opening it if you want to do that.
Mirror the Iron Man
post-cred scene replace iron man
with spider-man and tony stark with no nick fury with tony stark yeah there you go then it's like
in queens or whatever so spider-man spider-man spider-man and around you'll see him stop a crime
and then he'll walk in somewhere guy nah we'll punch it in the face that iron man will just be
like nah because iron man's not gonna be iron manning it first he's gonna be tony starking it And then he'll walk in somewhere Punch a guy Nah Punch it in the face And Iron Man will just be like Nah
Because Iron Man's not going to be
Iron Man-ing it
He's going to be Tony Stark-ing it
He's right
Because Tony's
Unless
If he's Iron Man-ing it
How about this
How about this
You've been promising
To give up the
How about this
For like 8 movies at this point
Fucking hell
So like a suburban street
In Queens
Yep
Open
Exterior
Day
Day yes
And then
Not day
And then Spider-Man He's oh, yeah, not day.
And then Spider-Man's around, right? He's a teenager, he's got to go to school.
You know, bad guy punches him in the face, whatever, ties him up.
Gets a crook.
And as he's there, middle of the day, Tony Stark just walks out,
holding a martini.
All right.
In broad daylight.
He's like, oi, you.
Day drinking.
He'll probably call him Underoos straight off the bat, I reckon.
Oi, Underoos.
Oi, Underoos.
Join my cornos Join my corn
Join my corn
Freak on a leash
It's fucking rad
We start on track 13
Because we're fucking metal as shit
That's the worst thing about that album
Like I cannot stand corn
And that song makes me want to die
But the fact that that album has
12 tracks that have just nothing so that the first song
is track 13 makes me want to
kill myself
why not just call number 1 13
why make it
difficult for everyone
no because it's new
metal and they're hardcore
as shit or whatever
and they got the spawn dude to draw the cover
you're a hassle
Todd McFarlane.
Yeah. Okay, here's
something to talk about. Not to be confused with Seth McFarlane.
Or maybe to be confused with Seth
McFarlane, get him to draw the Colin cover.
That would
be funny. Just Peter
Griffin. That'd be good.
Like some weird
hopscotch thing. Yeah.
So, let's talk about the things
They need to introduce in this film
Because there's a lot
Oh yeah
They need to introduce Spider-Man
They need to introduce
Black Panther and Wakanda
And somehow make that relevant
To the Civil War
They also need to introduce
Bucky again
Like reintroduce him
Yep
They have to make Ant-Man
Part of the Avengers now
Oh yeah
Bucky's chained up to a toilet
I forgot about that Yeah Yeah he's. Bucky's chained up to a toilet. I forgot about that.
Yeah, he's there.
Bucky's just going through rehab.
He's getting off heroin.
He's been chasing a monkey real bad.
You mean dragon?
No, monkey.
Chasing the monkey real bad.
They got to chain him up so he can go cold turkey.
And that's what corn stands for.
It's a rehabilitation thing.
Exactly. It's about, like I said, it's a rehabilitation. Exactly.
It's kids on...
Recreational...
Narcotics.
Narcotics.
Corn.
That doesn't make it sound like they're fixing it.
It sounds like a description.
No, but Here's the thing
I think Ant-Man is gonna have to be
The comedic relief of the whole film
And that's real bad
Spider-Man's not in it for much
He's in it for like less than a minute or something
Nah he'll be in it for more than a minute
He's like I remember reading something he's not in it for much at all
Because he was a late edition
Yeah I know I think from what I heard it's like 15 minutes of screen time
Which is a very big difference between one and that's and that's like a decent
oh no but wait is it like a four out of our film yeah it goes to four yeah sorry i forgot to tell
you guys it's a four hour film super good um just a heads up though it finishes at 10 to 3
um we we joke on this podcast but that's a cold hard truth Colour me time
Hashtag
Let me die
Who was the comedic relief in
One
Probably Tony Stark
But he's not gonna be
Because you're gonna get
You forgot
Because the most recent superhero movie you saw
Was Batman V Superman Which was all punches, no quips.
Yeah, that's true.
I forgot how heavy it was on the quips, though.
I noticed when we first started talking about Man of Steel
when it first came out, we're talking about the return of Superman.
I was like, return of Superman, he threw a hot zero punches.
And Man of Steel, like, too many punches.
Then BVS is like, like again they just still haven't
got the punch ratio
right.
Because he can't punch
anyone that's not
doomsday because he'll
kill them.
Which is fine.
That's the struggle.
That's the struggle.
If you punch someone
he'll make their skull
inside out.
But he did.
He punched a terrorist.
No he threw a terrorist
he should have.
Oh fuck that scene
would have been way
better if he just punched the terrorist. Just flew he threw a terrorist. He should have. Oh, fuck. That scene would have been way better
if he just punched the terrorist.
The terrorist just flew through the wall.
Tell me you don't want to do like an x-ray
on the side of Superman's fist in slow motion,
punching a guy's face, crushing that skull,
hitting brain, turning it to just like liquid in his head.
No, I like to imagine like an x-ray.
You see the punch and it just like the head
just bursts into flames.
And then when it comes out of x-ray
he's also using
his heat vision
oh he should use
his x-ray vision
so he can see that
while it's happening
that's the type
of Superman
we've got
is Superman's x-ray vision
even part
like this is super off topic
but is it even part
of the DC
no neither is freeze breath
freeze breath's the best power
I know
freeze Lex Luthor
put him in
put him in the sea
put him in a river
problem solved
that's the puddle
put him in a puddle
there we go now Lex
give me another mess
fuck you
bald prick
what is going to be the majority
why is this film called Captain America is it going to be all about Captain America copping with it or is it going to be the majority why is this film called captain america is it
going to be all about captain america copping with it or is it going to be basically like
another avengers what do we well i guess because they're contractually contractually contractually
obliged no it's gonna it's because uh iron man won't be like it's not gonna be 50 50 split
and you're gonna meant to want to i feel like the film is going to sort of frame it so it could be
either way but you're meant to side with captain america feel like the film is going to sort of frame it so it could be either way
but you're meant to side
with Captain America.
And little team Cap.
Yeah.
And I have a feeling
that because of all the
Bucky stuff
it's going to be mostly men.
Fuck Cap.
Yeah I know.
I knew you got it wrong.
I was waiting for you
to figure it out.
That's fine.
Hashtag let Zammett die.
Hashtag make Zammett die.
Hashtag too tired.
Yeah. So if you get all midnight screening tonight
Use the hashtag too tired and hashtag let me die
And we'll be able to see all your tweets
Or just tweet us at Sandspence Radio
That's fine too
We've got a lot of options tonight
If you see us and we look tired
We are
You got it
If anyone's listening to this before you see the movie like the midnight
screening keen very keen but okay yes the thing is there's there's so many characters in this
that i feel like it's just gonna be not because you're gonna get the third yeah probably but
you're gonna get most of the it's a two hour and 45 minute film don't forget that or two hour 40
minute whatever anyway um so you're gonna get a lot of like little groups.
Yeah, that's true.
So like things like Vision, Wanda,
and those two will probably be together.
Although in the trailer,
there's a bit of a biff between them.
A little tiff.
Bloody few punch-ons.
Punch-ons between mates.
Hey, it happens when you're a superhero.
That's the point of this film.
Punch-ons between mates. Punch-ons between mates. Captain America, punch-ons between mates hey it happens when you're a superhero isn't that the point of this film punch-on between mates punch-on between mates
yeah
Captain America
punch-ons between mates
alright so
obviously there's gonna be
a falling out
with these two
and they're gonna be revealed
as it's all just
some big plot
by like
a crossbow
is it gonna be a Hydra again
please let it be Hydra again
oh hey
you know what
honestly
because of Captain America
because of the Winter Soldier
they might just open with the fact that, yes, Hydra's behind.
Not open with it, but just be like...
Be very upfront about it.
As in the audience is aware straight off the bat.
Is it going to be something like,
Bucky's gotten free or whatever from his mind Hydra control?
He went and he saw the thing, the memorial of him,
and he was like, I was a good bloke once.
Why did I become such a bad bloke?
Yeah.
It just feels like it should be
like a Tay-Tay song.
I used to be a good bloke
but now I'm such a bad bloke.
Why didn't I change
what type of bloke I was?
That's Taylor Swift's new song,
Blokes, on her new album, Blokes.
So he's gone and been like,
I was a good bloke.
Good slash bad bloke.
I was a good bloke, now a bad bloke,
and I want to be a good bloke again.
Yeah.
So he's now free of the Hydra bullshit.
So it would be like Hydra converging on Bucky
being like, we want Bucky back,
because Bucky was good to us.
The movie? Killed a bunch of shit. And then Bucky being like, we want Bucky back because Bucky was good to us. The movie?
Yeah.
Killed a bunch of shit.
And then Captain America being like,
no, we got to rehab him.
And then maybe Iron Man being, or Tony Stark being like,
no, he's got to pay for his crimes.
Probably.
I have a feeling that that scene that we see in the film
where Bucky tries to shoot Tony Stark in the head
is going to be pretty early on.
Well, you'd want that to be.
Oh yeah, because Tony Stark at that point is just Tony Stark. He's is going to be pretty early on. Well, you'd want that to be.
Oh, yeah, because Tony Stark at that point is just Tony Stark.
He's not Iron Man-ing.
So Bucky might just be flat out.
Iron Man might do something and then Bucky's like,
you're fucked, mate.
Bad bloke Bucky.
And then he tries to shoot him in the head and then Cap's like,
what happened to good bloke Bucky?
And Bucky's like, oh, God.
You're right.
I was such a bad bloke for a bit let's be a good bloke
or is it going to be
something like Hydra
he's already under
sort of like
is he still Hydra
is he not
and maybe Hydra
like go assassinate
Tony Stark
yeah could be
we never
like his allegiances
are
but what like
fucking
it seems like
such a personal problem
that has nothing to do
with Ant-Man
or Black Panther
the Vision
why does the Vision care
why are they all caring like if you're Ant-Man and you Panther the vision why does the vision care why are they all caring
like if you're Ant-Man and you've just come you're like I guess maybe I'll join the Avengers
I just got this suit and they're like hey fuck not who do you hate hey little bloke
you used to be a big bloke and now you're a little bloke don't you remember what it was
like to be a little bloke come little little bloke for us. He's going to become a giant bloke.
Oh, 100%.
Because he's got a new suit in the trailer.
If that happens, I'll be happy.
If he becomes real big and eats someone.
No, I want to see him.
I don't want him to become giant bloke yet.
I want him little bloke in this movie.
And we see him on an arrow, which is something you're going to be very happy about.
I love that. That's the best use of him. Hawkeye is bloke-y in this movie. And we see him on an arrow, which is something you're going to be very interested in. I love that!
That's the best use of him. Hawkeye is
an Ant-Man delivery system.
They should put, rather than make Ant-Man in the
wasp, they should make Ant-Man in the Hawkeye.
You know what would be the best move
if you were Hawkeye in Ant-Man? You put
Ant-Man on an arrow, right? He holds
real tight. Shoot someone in the gut.
Then Ant-Man becomes big again.
That is cool. And he's just like out of their skin. And then he gets back on the arrow. I think we discussed gut. Then Ant-Man becomes big again. That is cool. And he's just like
out of their skin. And then he gets back on the arrow.
I think we discussed this in an Ant-Man episode.
Hang on. He gets back
on the arrow.
And then what?
Then Hawkeye goes and picks it up.
He gets tiny again.
Loads of it again.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure we mentioned
this in the Ant-Man episode Because Ant-Man could just
Like get small
Go in people's mouths
And then just get big
Actually if he strapped
Himself to a boomerang
And then just has
Like a knife
Too bad Captain Boomerang's DC
That is a shame
That's always a shame
There's actually a boomerang
There's a boomerang
In Marvel
He's a villain
He's a Spider-Man villain
Oh that's good
I like how Marvel and DC
They're all the same heroes
They're all just different names.
You got your Swamp Men and your men things.
You got your boomerangs and your Captain.
One's a higher rank.
You got your Flash and your Quicksilvers.
You got your fucking Captain Marvel and you got your Marvel Comics.
No, Captain Marvel and Captain Mar-Vell.
Oh, that's right.
Very different.
I mean, one's a child who can become a man And one's a space goblin
Yeah
Three
Died of cancer
Space cancer
Space goblins
I thought of cancer
But he died in space
Would you call it space cancer?
Yeah let's call it space cancer
Be glad that you only had
Testicular cancer
And not space cancer
That's true
But is that cancer of the space?
No because if you went to space
And you still had the cancer
That would have been
Space testicular cancer
You would have had
Space balls mate
Ah Alright What a reference to space and you still have the cancer, that would have been space testicular cancer. You would have had space balls, mate. Ah!
Alright.
What a reference.
Like the film, Spaceballs.
Anyway, why does Wakanda
care? No, what does the
country... There's going to have to be a big political
thing that they haven't put in the trailer because
it would make a bad trailer thing.
Unless they're going to do what BBS
tried to do, which was like with Superman.
Granny's piss.
The political thing, the granny's piss thing,
which was every, because Superman is so powerful, right?
Yeah, he is.
So every action or every non-action is a political statement.
So the Avengers are very powerful,
so every statement or action and non-action is a political statement.
So we need you to be doing something.
But that still seems like an odd jump from them to be like, yeah, and Wakanda's like,
well, look.
Is Korn like world police?
Maybe.
Maybe they're like the Interpol of the Avengers.
So we have Avengers and then we have world police.
What if it's like Bucky does something fucked up in Wakanda?
Wait, whose team is Black Panther on?
Team Iron Man.
Yeah, good.
So Bucky does something fucked up in Wakanda.
Black Panther's like, hey!
None of that.
We gotta police these cunts.
Iron Man is like, yeah.
Yeah, yes we do.
Uh-huh. And then they fight.
Then the punch-ons occur.
Is that a theory
I have?
That's a good one i guess they could do that i don't distract you guys are gonna like this our listeners
maybe if they're fucking hardcore shut up a second fans yeah our some our friend full-time
friend occasional guest aaron magro just text me to say he set up NMAGS News. Uh-huh.
Because Aaron likes to call himself AMAGS, and he started a new Twitter account called NMAGS, as in News Mags.
Okay.
And now he's just going to post news.
And that's good.
About himself or the world?
Ah, with him, who knows?
Anyway, follow NMAGS News, everyone, for news updates.
Classic full-time friend.
Anyway, all right, sure.
Aaron Magro.
It's a full-time position. It is. Civil War. How do weraw it's a full time
position
it is
civil war
how do we
think it's
going to
end
Captain
America
dying
yeah
you know
what this
movie
is this
movie
Captain
America
realized
whatever
it's
us
fighting
is doing
more damage
than good
kind of like
in the
civil war
arrest me
gets arrested
and got
shot by
crossbones
yeah
but how are they going to make it
so that Captain America
will come back in Infinity War?
Space time.
Space gloves.
No, the time gem
or the reality gem.
Oh, yeah, the mind gem.
Mind gem.
Or the fucking...
Any of the gems.
There's enough gems.
Yeah.
All of them together.
Ah, hey, there you go.
So the gauntlet, whatever,
Iron Man gets it
and like fill in all grief
and shit
over his death as Steve Rogers puts him back.
Yeah, props.
Bada bing, bada boom, fuck you.
Yeah.
Bada bing, bada boom, doing your job for you.
Yeah, no, although Marvel have a history of death cop-outs,
is this one too many?
That would be so funny if they just nobody died in this movie.
I really want to say that Thor's hammer's going to crack
and it's going to be a gem.
But maybe one will go to frog Thor.
I reckon that's going to happen in Ragnarok.
Yeah, well, Thor's not going to be in this.
I'm super pumped.
No, he's not in it.
No Thor, no Hulk.
I'm real excited for Ragnarok.
Yeah, because I...
It's like a space road trip with Thor and Hulk.
They're the classic straight man and funny man.
They're an odd couple.
Hulk gets big and angry.
Thor is sort of boring.
Chuck him in a car, send him to space.
And then they'll meet Purple Hulk.
Purple Hulk.
He'll be up there.
Go to Egypt, they'll meet Blue Hulk.
Mate.
The best.
All the Hulks of the rainbow.
Hashtag all the Hulks of the rainbow.
Huh.
Okay, yeah, I reckon that's going to happen in Ragnarok.
Probably.
You reckon it's going to be a space jam?
I reckon, yeah, there's going to be some gem in the middle of Thor's hammer.
Because, what gem are we missing?
Because the soul gem, or the mind gem, is either going to be in fucking...
That's Vision's head.
No, that's the other gem.
So we're missing two gems.
Yeah, but let's talk about the gems.
Oh, fuck, this is going to test me.
So Loki's staff is the mind gem.
You know what?
I'm going to save us a lot of time.
Give me two seconds.
Let's just Google it.
I was going to say there's a power gem,
which was the Aegir or whatever it was called.
The red thing.
The Aether.
The Aether.
There was the orb.
What?
Which orb?
The man in space.
You mean the power gem? The one in Guardians of the Galaxy? Yeah. Isn't that power gem?
The one in Guardians of the Galaxy?
Yeah.
Isn't that power gem?
Rowan.
Rohan.
Rohan.
Yeah.
The accuser.
Yeah.
That was Ronan.
Ronan.
Ronan the accuser.
Yeah.
Writers of Rohan are not in anything to do with Marvel.
That's a good book there. Everyone, don't see Captain America. Read the writers of Rohan Are not in Anything to do with Marvel Wow that's a good book though
Everyone
Don't see Captain America
Read
Read the Riders of Rohan
No
It doesn't appear in the Lord of Rims
You're thinking of Rowan of Rims
I'm thinking of Rowan of Rims
Emily Rogers
Rowan of Rims
Fuck I loved Emily Rogers
That
Emily Rogers wrote some fucking
Ripper book
Is it Team Power Incus her as well?
Yeah I think so
Alright
Man that was sick
Oh that's right
Because they're called stones in this
We've been calling them gems like
cockheads. Space stone,
which was a tesseract. Bam.
Mind stone, which is now Invision's head.
Slam. Reality stone, which is
the ether, which is the fucking Guardians
of the Galaxy. No, that's Thor 2
red shit. Yep. Thank you, man.
Power stone,
which is the orb.
Jam! Which the
Nova Corps currently have since
2014, according to this. I don't
know if that is entirely...
Yeah. Okay, I guess Guardians of the Galaxy
was set in 2014. Anyway, so that means we're missing
two. Which ones?
They don't have names yet. Which ones?
Dusha, help.
Solentime time Spam rhyme
Soul and time
Soul and time
Alright so
Guardians of the Galaxy
Implies that the two stones
Color are either green or orange
Alright so
Thor would have the soul
No
No
You gotta be good pure of soul
To lift it up
You fucking hot
Hear this
Hear this shit
You fucking cunts Your classic catchphrase It this hear this shit you fucking
cunts your classic catchphrase
it's hear this shit you stupid
cunts the classic
Jackson catchphrase
ah but
yes
in god damn Doctor
Strange there will be a stone because that's the
pattern yeah stone film not stone
film stone film not stone film this is a not stone film so there'll be a stone in Doctor's the pattern. Yeah. Stone film, not stone film. Stone film, not stone film. This is a
not stone film, so there'll be a stone in Doctor
Strange. And that's gonna be the soul stone.
Do you care? Why can't that be the time one?
Because that doesn't make sense. He ain't a time doctor,
he's a magic doctor.
Alright, also
they could just rename the two, like it might
be soul and time. It could be, time
will be one of them though. Cause his fucking
orb of Aragamamo. That's gonna be one as well? as well yeah no that's gonna be the soul one fuck let's just put
like eight and dr strange they're all in it i reckon because like you know it gotta be pure
of soul or pure of heart or whatever force hammer ain't gonna crash it's not gonna be a gem although
that would be a big reveal that'd be neat like hey don't get me wrong, but it's just not going to happen. No. Because the orb of Agamototo is...
Agamemnon.
Agamemnon.
Agamototo, which plays Africa a lot.
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
Where's Agamemnon?
Where did that come from?
Troy.
Oh, that's right.
Anyway, his orb necklace is definitely a stone.
Like, it's almost... It's the same, it's the right color and it's everything.
Fine, I'll concede.
Yeah.
And then I don't know who gets the time gem, because I don't know who.
Kang the Conqueror.
Who else is coming?
Black Panther?
Inhumans?
No, that's been cancelled.
Inhumans hasn't been cancelled
It's been postponed indefinitely
It's been cancelled
That sounds like
Cancel to me
Who else we got?
Captain Marvel's coming
Before or after Infinity War?
Because she might get it
She's coming after Infinity War
No yeah
But they'll have to have it before
Oh no no
I didn't know where she
Yeah okay
But she's going to be
In Infinity War
They're doing exactly
The same thing with her
As what they did with
Black Panther I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, I don't know who will get the time one.
Maybe that'll be the fucking focus of Infinity War.
There is two of them, remember?
And they'll both probably be two and a half hours each.
Super good.
Cool.
So, we set up.
So, the film starts probably going to be with Spider-Man.
Spider-Man around.
And then Tony Stark's going to be like,
Oi, you.
So, we're going to get the set up of the world.
What's that going to be? So, what is the set up? It's going to be like, oi, you, is anyone going to get the setup of the world? What's it going to be?
So what is the setup?
It's going to be like,
yo, here's what is the status quo.
Because you've got to get
all that shit out of it.
Ah, it's going to open
similar to...
You need to have a setup
of status quo
of the actual world.
It's going to set up,
I reckon,
similar to Avengers 2,
how there's like,
people being like,
hey, what if the Avengers
are actually fucking bullshit?
Actually,
that's what I was going
to say before.
There is a chance
that this is going to be
very similar
thematically to Batman v.
Superman, but just probably
significantly better.
Or worse, I guess.
Those are two
of the options. Imagine
it's significantly worse.
Nah. I'd be dead in my seat.
You'd just look at me as a skeleton.
You'd be like, oh, Jack. I don't know if Marvel can fuck the pooch that much
Well that's the thing
Batman v Superman is such a unique fucked mess
Like it's
I love it so much
I think about it every day
But yeah I don't think you can really top that in terms of terribleness
It'll be at the worst fine
People fighting in a car park
There'll be punchchons between mates
so what is
this current world?
what is this world after Slovakia?
it's probably going to be like all the Avengers
they did good, did they do good?
that's going to be the question
it's going to be basically the themes of
season 2 of Daredevil in a film
is it good if a bad
person does a bad thing to make a good thing happen? I mean a good person does a bad thing to make a good thing happen?
No. I mean, a good person does a bad thing to make
a good thing happen. Also, you better remember
that boardroom scene where they're going through the kill
count of each of the events.
Tony Stark and Steve Rogers are there.
Oh, Thunderbolt Ross is also going to be there.
Oh, good ass. I love that guy. I hope Abomination's
there. I thought Abomination.
He was going to be in Avengers 1.
Did you know? No, I did not did not they approached him they were like yo man who used to be on the mentalist or whatever i don't tim rolf tim ross no um do you want to come back and be he was he
was game but then they canceled his they like did a few different things instead yeah um but said
gave a weak third act yeah what a surprise Marvel Didn't see that one coming
Set up a status quo being like
Maybe the new Avengers are being trained
And then it's at the boardroom
And it's kind of like
The government might try to shut down the new Avengers
Potentially
And they'd be like look we're trying to shut you down
Because you're doing worse
You're doing a lot more worse than good
So instead of the Avengers we're going to set up K so that's here and um tony stark can you please lead it
that'll maybe be the status quo i'm gonna go off something similar to that i reckon they're gonna
shut down the avengers the new avengers and then uh capped is gonna still be hunting down
metahumans no not shut up bucky bucky oh And he's going to be with Falcon, like a really small group,
like sort of doing vigilante work.
And then Bucky will...
Damn it.
I think it was still me.
Yeah, it was.
It's like...
Is it still recording?
It's still recording with a backup there, so we'll see what happens.
Interesting.
I apologize.
Okay.
But then also, it's a beanbag. So... Yep.
Go on.
Like, hey.
So if you're still listening to this, everything went smoothly.
And we didn't lose any of the episode.
If you're not...
Go on.
Eat shit, I suppose.
Hashtag eat shit.
Auntie and Bucky, small vigilante.
Oh, yeah.
So I reckon they'll be doing like vigilante shit
and that's how they're gonna get
Ant-Man
cause you get the scene
that you got at the end of Ant-Man
in
yeah yeah yeah
and then
that's when they'll chuck him in the truck
and that's where you're gonna get
that other trailer where
he's like oh my god
I'm meeting fucking
Avengers and shit
seek ass
right
seek
yeah
I guess there'll be a period of time
in the film
where they're just collecting everyone together heist film yeah like yeah I guess there'll be a period of time in the film Where they're just collecting everyone
A heist film
Yeah I guess
Where they're like oh we're in Wakanda
I don't know that's not how they're going to get Wakanda in there
His name's not Wakanda that's his house
Black Panther of the Wakanda house
Wakanda house
But you know what I mean
That's the country he owns
Yeah It's a big house Raquando house. But you know what I mean. That's the country he owns.
Yeah.
It's a big house.
A lot of roommates.
But yeah, so there'll be that sort of period of time.
And I guess that'll be the second act, gathering the teams and shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then the third act will just be the biggest punch on in the city.
Biggest punch on the Marvel Cinematic Universe has seen so far.
Until Infinity War where the same
thing's going to happen again.
I reckon the big catalyst is going to be
Bucky trying to shoot Iron Man.
I reckon everyone's going to be on the fence.
You know what I mean? Everyone's going to be like,
I don't know if this is a good idea.
And then Bucky's going to be trying to shoot Iron Man and then be like, oh, I don't know if this is a good idea. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And then Bucky's going to probably try and shoot Iron Man
and then be like, yep.
Iron Man's like, yep.
Nah, you fucked, mate.
You're a bad bloke.
Bad bloke.
Rolled up newspaper.
BBB.
BBB.
Sorry for that.
Second act, yeah,
it's just going to be all like little bits of punch-ons here and there.
Punch-ons.
A couple of punch-ons here and there.
Maybe crossbones goofing about.
Crossbones? Do you reckon there's
going to be villains? Is crossbones not going to be
big players? No. Or is it mostly
just going to be... It's going to be Hydra. Is Baron
Zemo in this film? Or am I making that up?
Yeah, I think he is. Baron Zemo. A villain that
how will they make look cool? Okay.
He has a purple sock. Here's what they're going to do.
Yeah, his face. Here's what they're going to do. Done.
Like a heat pack that he wears
as a beanie. Here's what they're going to do. We heat pack he's what they're gonna do we joked about purple hawk
yes here's what they're gonna do they're
gonna introduce a villain at the start
of the film sort of forget about him for
a bit he'll come back for a bit there'll
be a week third act everyone will cheer
that's true okay so there'll be a post
credit sequence everyone will forget
about the week third act cuz it'll be
way too hyped for fucking
Thor 3 Ragnarok.
No, but fucking other bloke.
Doctor Strange.
Weird bloke.
What big thing is going to fall from the sky
and crash into a little thing?
I don't think that'll happen this time.
I think it'll be a building.
I reckon they'll fight inside the Avengers complex.
Oh, wait, no, it's a street fight.
You see it in the trailer.
It's airport, isn't it?
It's like baggage claims and shit there.
That's all right.
Where are they trying to go?
It's got a holiday, mate.
No, fuck everything we've said in this episode so far.
Where do you think they're trying?
Why are they at an airport?
Where are they going?
I think Wakanda's trying to go home because he's sick and tired but nobody's letting him that's my theory his name's not
how about they're all going on a holiday and it's like they've had enough and then it's just like
nah border patrol get some gush.
Border Patrol, i.e. Tony Stark and his chums.
Yes.
You know, more think about this.
Like with Batman v Superman, which is the last episode like this we did,
the trailers didn't give us much, but we guessed the storyline pretty accurately.
But there's a big chunk of this.
Even though these trailers were pretty detailed, it's kind of hard to tell.
Yeah, it is a little bit.
Actually, I don't really know that much going into this
I assume Cap's going to die but that's just pride knowledge to the comics
And hopefully they don't
And hopefully they don't
Imagine if they could kill
People have been saying that they might twist it and kill Tony Stark
That's a possibility
But I don't think so
But he's been confirmed to Spider-Man so
Maybe he's in a hospital
Maybe he's a hologram
Maybe he's Jarvis Maybe he gets's a hologram I kind of hope
they don't
maybe he's Jarvis
maybe he gets killed
and gets made
Jarvis Mark 2
because Vision
is the actual Jarvis
and
Mark 2
oh yeah Vision
looks like he's gonna
eat shit
in this as well
hopefully
but then like
him and Wanda
kind of have a bit of a fight
and they fall in love
a fuck fight
he puts a baby in her
somehow
yeah
he's short twins
he puts two babies in her good Tony Stark comics. Yeah, he short twins. He puts two babies in her.
Good.
Tony Stark was like, I'll put sperm in my robot.
Wait, is that?
I'm not afraid.
I am not afraid.
I'll put sperm in my robot.
I am not afraid.
That's not how it's short.
Sure, Jack. that's not how it sure sure Jack you know everyone's like Tony
how did this happen he's like you know when I made Ultron
I just filled him chock full of jizz
just in case
I just wanted a robot to feel human love
ejaculation seemed like
the next step
so what better kind of that is to make him
make him a parent
Just like Tony Stark and fucking
Mark Ruffalo the Hulk
Looking over the body and the thing
And he's like not ready
And Tony Stark's just with a big jug
Move out of the way
Like the jug you put on a water cooler
And he just like twists it into his head
Where the gem goes
that's actually a nozzle where you just insert the jizz
that's what
fucking that'll be the moral like the ethical
dilemma of this should we have put jizz in
this robot
whose jizz is it
don't imagine Tony's time
oh no that means that Wanda's pregnant.
Oh, Vision and fucking Tony will punch on
because Vision will be like,
the baby looks like you.
And he'll be like,
yeah, I filled you with my jizz.
That was fun and filthy.
I saved, I was doing that for months.
Vision's like, oh God.
Oh Lord. But yeah. Like, oh god. Oh lord.
But yeah.
Like, it happened.
Magic.
One day she willed it to be.
Because she's a reality bender.
Oh, she reality bended her baby.
Of course.
The more logical explanation than a robot who can ejaculate.
A robot full of jizz is actually a more logical explanation.
You're right.
Like just semen reserves in his back somewhere
You know like there's that oil
Jar thing that you use to like
Yeah like an old timey
Like they used to fix the tin man
Yeah that's what I'm imagining that but full of jizz
Oh sluggish
I just imagine like
Hulk flip him
Open the nozzle
What's this the jizz What? How flip him. Open the nozzle. What's this?
The jizz.
What?
How else are you going to make a baby?
And be happy and feel human emotions and be a shield around the world.
Glug, glug.
Imagine that awkward moment as it glugged into Vision.
Glug, glug, glug. And they stared each other across the body of the semen robot they made.
The new Vision series is actually really cool.
He's actually built himself a wife and two kids.
That's all right.
Good for him.
That's like Bride of Frankenstein.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, it is.
I know my fucking literature.
My references are bloody on point.
They're hot and far.
Spaceballs and old-timey literature.
Let me tell you about Roseanne.
So, starts off
Spider-Man. I will.
Being like, boardroom, no more Avengers.
We got Korn instead. Yep.
Cat America's like, nah, fair. I'll go hunt
Robucky down, but not tell anyone.
Just call him Robucky.
Dr. Robucky.
Dr. Robucky.
Eggman.
So he does that. He's like, yo,
oi, Ant-Man, come over here. He so he does that he's like yo um oi ant man come over here
does his stuff he's like hey i got bucky free and bucky's like yay i'm free to go assassinate
tony stark he chuffed off and and um kills him roger's like tries to kill him damn tries to
kill him then dennis is like oopsie daisies no tony must do something at first he must be like
no we're retiring the Avengers.
We're doing something.
Because otherwise,
Bucky's not going to...
There's going to have to be something.
Because Bucky...
I don't think Bucky's going to be Hydra
at that point.
No.
Because if he's Hydra,
I reckon he's going to be Hydra
until he gets stuck in that thing.
And then Cap will be like...
And then he just sweats it out.
Just don't be...
Like I said,
he's a dick.
He's following the monkey.
He's chasing that monkey. Chasing the monkey. He's chasing that monkey.
Chasing the monkey.
Bad bloke Bucky.
The old triple B.
Wants to be GBB.
Good bloke Bucky.
Yeah.
So I think Tony Stark will have to do something.
It might even be something really inconsequential.
Like maybe even like at the start of the film,
how he went and just iced those terrorists.
Yeah, that was good.
You know what I mean?
I mean, like at the start of the first...
Anyway, like that. Something like that. Or even
the fact that Tony Stark was once the biggest
weapons manufacturer in the
land. Bucky might be like,
not on. This is a cocky dick.
Nah. It's gonna be something
to do with Tony
will make an announcement. It might even put...
You know what? It might be
Tony says something that sort of puts Steve Rogers in trouble.
And Bucky's like,
that's my mate.
Not my man.
You're fucked.
Yeah.
And then shoots him.
He's got the kind of equivalent of getting your older brother to beat up the kid who called you a big,
dumb,
loser,
nerd.
Exactly.
What you call me?
You're fucked.
You're fucked,
mate.
I'm getting my cousins
And your fucked is obviously
Like you are
Space F U K T
You're fucked
You're fucked mate
But yeah so
Like a text that you would receive in high school
And be afraid of
Hashtag you're fucked mate
But yeah so I imagine either Tony Stark
does something or just Bucky decides
he's had enough. Yeah.
And ices him and then it's like whoa everyone
make a decision. Whose side are you on
in this situation?
Hashtag who will win.
Yep.
Hashtag who is going to come out
on top in Avengers. No I mean
Captain America Civil War
It's a long hashtag
It's a good one
Yeah and then there'll be punch-ons
Where does Wakanda fit into this though?
I mean the country and also the guy
The man Wakanda
I have to assume that something will happen
On Wakandan soil
To get him involved
Because he's a very
He's pretty centralised to his city.
Is Gollum in this one?
Gollum?
Yeah.
What's his name?
Andy Serkis.
Oh.
I don't know.
I honestly don't know.
Maybe.
There could be a connection to him.
Why?
Who's he?
He's his claw.
Who's his claw?
Guy that uses...
Claws.
Is this...
No, he's actually...
Actually, he doesn't
It's like K-L-A-W
Oh, I know Claw
Yeah, he gets his arm torn off by Ultron
Yeah, that's right
So maybe he'll be involved and it'll be
Maybe Tony Stark
Oh, Martin Freeman
He's playing a villain
But he won't be a villain at the start
He'll be like a bureaucrat dickhead
He'll be an Obadiah Cain
Stain
Stain
Obadiah Cain St Stain? Stain. Obadiah Cain Stain, yeah.
Of Iron Man 1.
No, well, potentially the thing Tony Stark does is politically related to Wakanda.
Like, that could be just how you rope it in.
Because, honestly, you've just got to rope him in a bit.
Maybe Tony Stark tries to make a Vibramian My Iron Man suit.
Yeah.
And then they're just like, no.
Maybe he tries to make Ultron again.
That wouldn't be surprising that much. Maybe he tries to make Ultron again. That wouldn't be surprising.
Maybe he tries to make a whole fleet of Iron Men.
Now that Ultron movie was bad.
I am surprisingly excited for this, considering how much Age of Ultron broke me.
Yeah, I know.
Age of Ultron and Ant-Man were like two hot, wet pieces of garbage.
Ant-Man was...
BVS really reinvigorated me for this film.
Yeah.
I'm actually kind of, I'm tired. But I'm excited. I'm excited to see Ant-Man get... BVS really reinvigorated me for this film. I'm actually kind of...
I'm tired.
But I'm excited.
I'm excited to see Ant-Man get little on things
and then get big and maybe hit a guy.
He's going to be very big.
Maybe step on a dude.
Yeah, like I've been asked about this on Twitter
and on our Reddit like,
oh, you used to love Avengers.
Why do you hate it?
No, no, I didn't.
That was never me.
I saw Avengers 2 and I was like yeah
okay and then I saw it again and then I was like you know what I'd prefer to die yep hashtag let
me die let me let me die but look hey this film no but Winter Soldier is fucking sick and I'm
excited for Civil War I like the Captain America films tend not to disappoint yeah they're my
favorite of the uh I would rank oh well I don't know about the third one yet
because I haven't seen it.
Imagine this whole time I had seen it.
That would be rude.
That would be fine, I guess.
Yeah, like Captain America 1 and 2
are my favourite Avengers films by far.
Captain America 1 is just Indiana Jones
but with a shield and that's good.
I love Captain America 2.
I still love Iron Man 3.
Yeah, they're great films.
Yeah. So this film will probably not. Yeah, they're great films. Yeah.
So this film will probably not be garbage,
but also it might be.
Fingers crossed either way.
The end.
We'll tell you about it tomorrow.
And on that note, I've been Joel.
I have been Jackson.
I have also been Joel, and I was late to this.
And my phone number is almost on the internet.
Sure is.
Nearly.
And if you guys are at crown
yeah village cinemas uh crown not the other one that i almost said village cinemas crown we will
be there we are in the 1201 session if you see us come say hey don't hassle us during the movie
jackson will be asleep i'll be slowly becoming a skeleton damn it might also be i'll be fucking
right as rain and if you see me today say the code word Roseanne and I'll buy you a drink.
That's today's code word.
I'm going to abuse that so much.
Oh, fuck you.
But yeah, if you want us to see your tweets about the Civil War,
please use the hashtag LetMeDie and tweet at SansPantsRadio.
You can tweet us individually
if you want to.
We all kind of respond
to Twitter pretty well.
We've got Jackson
with all dogs are dead.
Zamet with goddammit Zamet
and I am douche13.
D-U-S-C-H 13.
The numbers.
I feel like we could have
interjected,
but he's like,
no, he's doing this good.
He's got it.
I don't need to do shit.
Yeah, and our Sandspan's
handle is Sandspan's Radio.
Message us on
fucking
Facebook
Facebook if you want
it's good
Instagram
I'm excited
I'm excited
Squarespace
Google Plus
Google Plus
smoke signals
yell into a well
whisper
whisper to a rat
and send it that way
guess the last two digits
of my phone number
just give me a call
it'll be great Whisper it to a rat and send it that way? Guess the last two digits of my phone number. Just give me a call. Do we, do we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
If you think you can do it,
you can do it.
If you think you can do it,
you can do it.
If you think you can do it,
you can do it.
If you think you can do it,
you can do it.
If you think you can do it,
you can do it.
If you think you can do it,
you can do it.
If you think you can do it,
you can do it.
If you think you can do it,
you can do it.
If you think you can do it,
you can do it.
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