Plumbing the Death Star - What If The Avengers Had Opposite Powers?

Episode Date: March 23, 2025

It’s the one you’ve been waiting for since presumably last week! The Avengers are here but they’re bad and wrong. Captain America but he’s only got swords and his super soldier serum made him all dumb? What about a Hawkeye that inhaled all incoming projectile weaponry? Sounds ineffective and stupid, but what do you expect when ‘Give Calm’ shows up in his eyepatch. For a tasty treat, cook off some wholegrain spaghetti, chicken breast, chopped bacon. Mix up two eggs and some parmesan cheese, take all the stuff off the heat and mix in the egg (with a tiny bit of pasta water also). This will make a beautiful carbonara, but please do be aware of the heat of the pan. Literally the last thing you want is to make a weird scrambled egg version of this dish. I did that this week and It was mostly fine, it was disappointing on a personal level. Links to everything at https://linktr.ee/plumbingthedeathstar including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Jaren's Outpost. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. And Plumbing the Death Star is the comedy pop culture podcast that asks the important questions and this week it's asking one hell of an important one. One that's been on everyone's minds. In fact, Jackson, this was a question asked from our Discord.

That's true. This is from JP in the Discord. And they caught our little eye. Yeah, they caught our eye because the question they've pitched here is a question that like people are just standing in the street screaming. It's on the tips of everyone's lips. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Yeah, this really is a special one. Okay. What's special about it, and this is my favorite kind of listener question, is I don't know what they mean.

No, no. Yeah, and also, it's a listener question, because a lot of the time, hey listeners, if you're part of the community and you've asked us questions and things like that, usually when we look at them, we can sort of see where your brain has come from. So you're like, oh, okay, you've heard this episode we just did, or you really like this episode.

Oh, you've watched this kind of, you know, this show, this piece of pop culture, and you're doing a typical plumbing question. You've seen a meme, and you're like, plumbing the Death Star would love this, so I should reframe as a question. But then we get something like this and we're like, huh, what could they mean? Now I want to, can we start off with Hawkeye?

And I want to like first off break this down. And so we can look at the name Hawkeye. Now what is the opposite of a hawk? Turtle. Turtle. Okay. I'm going to go with that. Sure. Now the opcosm of hawk drops a turtle. That's true. And hawk? Hawk, turtle. Turtle, okay, I'm gonna go with that. Sure. Because a hawk drops a turtle.

That's true. And hawk live in sky. Turtle live in sea. Turtle live in sea, yeah. Which is below sea level is as low as you can go. Exactly. Now, maybe crab would also be good. Crab would be good too.

Okay, so we've got turtle or crab. Now what's the opposite of eyes? Eyes? Eyes, feet. Okay. Ah, no, because I think I went brown eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's still eye.

That's still a kind of eye. It's the unseeing eye. We can break this down though. What does an eye do? It looks. It looks. What bit of the body doesn't look? Everything else.

Okay, and you have two eyes. It's a bit of the body you only have one of. To make it true opposite. This asshole is really strongly on the guards here. You could do nose. You could do nose. Mouth? Mouth?

It's the eye. Turtle mouth. Crab nose. Okay, so that's a great name. Now what's the opposite of a bow and arrow? So a bow and arrow you fire out. A grappling hook. Getting shot with a gun? No, because you're still firing.

He shoots others with arrows. So Turtle Mouth gets shot with it. So it needs to be sort of like magnetic powers that draws it in. Maybe he sucks in any kind of projectile weapon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To his body. And then he wears a special suit of armor so he doesn't kill.

So turtle mouth, so what he does, he does a big inhale suck and all projectiles go into his mouth. And he's like a little snapping turtle. And then he can't spit them back out again? No, because that's too close to what our guy can do. He has to spit them on the floor. He swallows, no, he swallows them.

It's true, they go in him. It's a defensive power, I guess. Okay, so when all the aliens, you know, in the Battle of New York, they go, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Turtle mouth goes, ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo What about Nick Fury? Three eyes? The opposite of one eye is three eyes. Now, Nick Fury is the head of SHIELD.

So he has to not be associated with SHIELD at all. And just a guy. And I guess the most bottom rung. He's a guy with three eyes who works in the mail room? What's the least respected, like an intern? No, I reckon just like an investor, but they haven't invested a lot. So he has like half a share. A half share in a publicly owned company.

I'll just quickly check my dividends. Oh, three cents today. Three cents today? Okay, nice. Three cents today? Three cents this month? Yeah. So he, now, in the typical Avengers, Nick Fury organizes them. Is he trying to break them apart? Yeah. So I guess you've got to have a, um...

He's an angry guy working in an office who hates the Avengers. He has half a... He's got disorganization talent. He's got half a stock in the Avengers and wants to break them up. Yeah. And he has three eyes. Yeah, so he keeps going to the board meetings demanding a vote. And they say you don't have enough of a share.

Even if you did have a vote, that's one vote. There's aliens in New York, we're not going to break up the Avengers. I really don't know what your problem with the Avengers is. And he says, I got three fucking eyes And no eye patches What's the opposite of Nick? No be cut What did you say the opposite of Nick was? Well I was thinking Nick like

Old Nick, Satan So Christ Christ, Joshuah Well Nick also means Like if you nick something It could be Steele so it could be It could be Give Calm Yeah yeah yeah, he's Give Calm

I hate this guy He's so angry Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's give calm He's also a terrible shot and a terrible drive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, really stupid Calm like Nick Fury is like, you you know he gets aggressive not give calm Give calm gets the more frustrated against the calm or he gets guess. Oh, he starts angry Yeah, I want to vote you don't get one yet so understandable I get it That annoys me. Thank you. I understand I respect your decision. I hate the Avengers Remember I have three eyes. Okay.

Or does he recruit the opposite Avengers? Oh, okay. Well, that would make sense. I mean, we are making the opposite Avengers. But then it would make sense that Give Calm would recruit... Well, Turtlemouth already works for him. Yeah. When they say, when Thor's hammer lands in the desert or whatever and they're introducing turtle mouth He goes into that you know in the classic very weird scene in in Thor 1

Well, Hawkeye goes to get a gun and then goes, uh, maybe I'll go bow and arrow actually Yeah, you misremember this scene. Does he not he goes he switches for bow and arrow I thought there was like a moment doesn't go But isn't there a moment where he looks at a gun and he goes to take it then he goes no I'll take the bone. I think it's just a tea because you don't actually see Hawkeye. Yes you do. You see him in the sniper tower. I'm pretty sure this is the scene.

There's like a bunch of stuff all lined up and he grabs the bow and arrow. There might be a hesitation about guns. I think there's a hesitation. The more he's describing it the more I'm either remembering it or I'm implanting a false memory. Getting tricked by me. So either way. Well in my memory they hadn't even caused Jeremy Reiner in this role No, he's in it. Yeah, they then they go they cut to him and he's like watching him So in that scene is just a man with a turtle mouth. Yeah

brushes past every single weapon Just takes no weapon. I don't need one. I will suck in their ammunition doesn't go up to the sniper tower just waddles out to where Mjolnir is. It's like, GASP GASP And just sucks off the lightning or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look, I'm doing a lot of research here on Plumbing the Death Star. For some reason I've decided I need to see this scene. I swear to God, because I remember people making fun of it, where they were like, he's the bow and arrow, like, why in hell would he ever think about going for a gun? He didn't do it anywhere else. I swear to God that scene is real. I forgot that Thor had um...

Long hair? Oh right, that's true. What's the opposite of a Thor? Well, cause he's a god, so he's immortal. He's immortal. What's the opposite of a sort of Norse person? Uh... Or is he... Well he's a mortal man.

Uh, what's the opposite of a hammer? Sickle? A rake? No! A nail! We got one of those. He's a mortal man with a nail. Okay! Is he just a tradie? No, because a tradie will have a hammer.

And now, what's the opposite of lightning lightning because that's also the other part thunder No, cuz thunder goes with light Love and thunder or whatever lightning strikes the ground Lava eruption lava volcano volcano. Okay a man with a nail and volcano powers. Okay, so like is there a Is there another God who is like, you know, like like Vulcan, you know Or a god or whatever, but this guy's mortal. Yeah, and he starts on or is it going to space? Where is he demigod? No, what's your yeah, I guess the opposite of a god is just basically opposite of a god It's just a guy. Yeah, he's a guy with a nail and the powers of a volcano and he goes to space

Because he was too good. Jackson was right. Yeah I knew it dude. He picks up and he puts his hand on a sniper. This is a 4-1 update everyone. Breaking news. Hawkeye's appearance in Thor, the first Thor movie, which hey, well just to give people a bit, I think it's worse than Thor 2. to yeah We go there's something to argue about It's also true that I feel that I didn't this isn't anyway I'm not looking for a fight, but I know People have a pink engagement But at the same time, you know, I'm not looking for a fight, but I know People have opinions about you. It's engagement, but at the same time You know, I'm not making it up. Yeah, that is my actual opinion. Yeah

Anyway, Hawkeye puts his hands on a sniper rifle. Yeah, he goes and then he grabs the bow and arrow Which is just a puppet. Just that day he thought maybe I won't be the bow and arrow guy and then he was like no This is my law. May I posit a new theory? He was always the sniper guy That day he thought maybe I won't be the bow and arrow guy and then he was like no this is more may I? Pause it a new theory. He was always the sniper guy Maybe I'm Johnny bow and arrows. I'm doing it. I've been saying I've been doing yeah, I've been taking lessons I've been saying I'm gonna do it. Yeah, now is the day that maybe you're right this hunked up See how that does me. Wow, I know you were talking about mortal man. I know I wasn't saying much because I was watching YouTube on my phone.

Yes, yes, yes. Which is an awesome thing to do. It is awesome. It was worthwhile. It was nice to be with you. And then everyone got that hot take and that weird explanation to why is it actually hot. Yeah, yeah, it was good. I liked it.

Yeah, I liked it too. You're saying that a mortal man is the opposite of a god, but uh Let me interject and say maybe actually the devil is opposite. Whoa So it's a nail devil Yeah, the devil has firepower opposite of lighting Metal the opposite of lighting conducts lightning I've had way too much coffee.

Lightning goes down, lava goes up. And then it flows. But actually lightning goes up first. Oh yeah, it does go up. Rain? No, but rain comes- Hang on. A drip.

Lightning is from storms. The opposite of storms is nothing. So maybe it's just- Clear skies? What about a still wind? The devil of clear skies. With a nail. And only bad guys can pick up the nail. Because you have to be so unworthy.

Only people who aren't worthy of picking up this nail can pick up this nail. If you have doubt in your heart, this is the nail for you. Oh fuck, I don't know if I should pick up this nail. Oh I picked up this nail. Oh it's fine, I reckon I should pick up this nail. Oh, I picked up this nail. Oh, it's fine. I reckon I could pick up this nail. Oh! No. But then also if you think while you're holding the nail,

if you're like, oh man, fuck, I don't think I can pick up this nail. I picked up the nail. And then you immediately drop the nail, because you got- Now you know you're worthy. No, no, no. This is great, because all you gotta have is someone

with like extremely low self-confidence and like imposter syndrome. time I'm like I shouldn't I hate this every single opposite of I just sucks. I hate this guy who's like I suck and I'm the devil I suck and I can't even pick up this nail. What's Thor's realm called? Asgard? Asgard. So what's the opposite of Asgard? It's like is it the one with the M? Like where... Huh? What do you mean opposite of Asgard? Musselblumfst.

Oh yeah, Mifflflorm? Mifflheim? Mislheim? Where the elves are from? Opposite. I'm thinking more like where the guy who eats Asgard is from. Ohhhh. Salt Lake City? The Winter Olympics 1996?

Saltar, Sul something. 2002 Winter Olympics maybe, Salt Lake City? No, but the opposite of Asgard. Where were they skiing that year? Where did the guys go to Salt Lake City? They're in Salt Lake City. Salt Lake would have frozen over, ski on the lake. But Salt makes water freeze hard, like slower.

The thing we were discussing just flipped out from under me. What? How did they do the Winter Olympics at Salt Lake City when a Salt Lake rarely freezes? Did they do it? What do you mean a Salt Lake never freezes? Is Salt Lake City named after a real Salt Lake? I don't know. Or is it a guy named like Mr. Salt Lake?

John Salt. John Salt. Wobb lakes. Wobb lakes so bad. John Salt Lake. And his wife Mary Lake. Yeah, is there a real lake there? I mean you'd be it'd be weird if there wasn't. Maybe it's salty like Mooney Ponds has a pond. Yeah that's true.

Is it salty like the sea? Is it the sea? Well the sea don't freeze. It does sometimes. I mean like talking about yes it does. But the whole sea doesn't freeze. Yeah you do get parts of the sea. Oh yeah that's the ice caps. But they're not doing a good job of freezing at the moment. Getting hot. I don't know if you've read the news lately. The penguins are fucking pissed off. They're freaking out, dude.

Polar bears are wet. It's like great when like, what, over a decade ago we started getting growler bears. Where it was just like, yeah, the polar bears being like, I'm floating around in this ice cap. ice cap No, no where am I is that a grizzly bear? Let's fuck. Yeah, and they're like alright. We make growler bears They've got all the terrible qualities of a polar bear and a grizzly. Yeah, we should do something and we all went I'm gonna spray my aerosol cans into the sky That's funny do growler bears must fucking suck at hunting in the Arctic, cause they're not like pure white, right? Yeah, I know, but I don't know, what the hell, like they just seem aggressive and angry. Well yeah, cause they're-

You know, the whole thing about, like, if it's brown, like, uh- If it's brown, flush it down, down, down. If it's black, lie down. And if it's white, you're dead. If it's yellow, let it mellow. Yeah, if it's black, lie down. And if it's white, you're dead. That's how the bear rhyme goes? So funny to get that mixed up with your shit colors. It's black. If I had shat black, I would be like, I need to go to hospital.

Well, your shitting black is, I mean, that's blood. Yeah, it's funny to see that and just lie down. It's white, call a funeral home. Yeah. If it's hmm, yeah, if it's if it's brown lie down if it's black fight back and if it's white Why you're dead you are gonna be killed by a polar bear. Yeah It's gone now they don't make it Yeah, yeah, that's sad I think Not funny, but yeah, we live through the age of it

Do I think like it's you know, I think it's a very valid thing to be nostalgic about Yeah, when dog shit was what because what it seemed safer to if you accidentally stood in it because it was a crumbly crumbly So you were like, well, but now what was it doing to a dog? Well, that's probably why we changed. Yeah, I understand we banned it and I know we got rid of it Yeah, and I get that like oh, yeah. No, we don't have that like why cuz it kind of just been about I hate all this white dog shit Yeah, it must have been something else Must have been like it's fucking up a dog so bad Let's not think the plumbing that hasn't taught people anything I'm gonna look up

Yeah Let's not think the plumbing that hasn't taught people anything. I'm gonna look up the average life expectancy of a dog and see if it's increased. See if it's increased ever since we started feeding them poisoned dog food. Because the way it worked from memory is that the dog would shit normal style and then after like a day, something, the shit would go white. Why don't we do that to us? That seems like it would be great to have crumpley shits. Right? Right? Why don't we do that to us? Yeah, well, that seems like it would be great to have crumpley shits. Right?

Right? Or at least, what would that do to the series treatment plants? I don't know, I guess. Good? Yeah. Could you, and this is disgusting to imagine. It's just dehydrating it, right?

Yeah, because you rehydrate a dog shit. If you were sort of like an absolute lunatic at the park, and you just with your bottle of water tipped it on a dog's shit. That was That was why that was why would it become brown again? I guess no Fucking tricky dick yeah, but it but it must have been Dehydrated because it got crumbly like the moisture in the dog shit went away. Yeah, what was doing that that seems powerful We adapt that for something else?

That seems like it's a, that could be a weapon. If you took a dog shit today and you put it in like one of those dehydrators that you make, like sun-dried tomato, would it go white? Well, you'd have, I don't think so. I just don't think that happens to shit. What was it? How? Dog lifespans, happy to report, have increased recently

as much as three years Whoa, and there's speculation that uh, there's We're maybe like a civilization away from dog lifespan increasing rapidly. Whoa, that's crazy. I'm just gonna get old Nice. I love the crap at animal. Yeah. Well, I think it's because a lot of the time dogs I mean sometimes dogs are decrepit animals. Yeah, well I think it's because a lot of the time dogs, I mean sometimes dogs are decrepit, but I mean sometimes like bigger dogs their bodies fine, it's just their heart pretty much explodes. Yeah very true. Anyway, dogs are getting better. You hear it here first, I'm plumbing the death star. Dogs are improving. They're getting better. They're gonna be okay. Imagine like meeting like a 40 year old dog. That would be crazy dude meeting a dog that's older than you are

That would be weird. Well, how do you feel about meeting? I like say a 40 year old parrot that's oh, yeah Oh, it fucks me up. I feel like the parrots wiser than I well actually someone said I can't wait for my dog to live to Yeah 50 and then Someone replied because I clicked on a couple of things ended up on router I would be devastated at the thought, I ended up on Rada. I would be devastated at the thought that I might die first and have to leave my dog alone. It's a real problem for my pet parents.

That person's stressed about leaving their parents. It's very funny to imagine dying and your parents last 20 years left. I don't know, that's crazy. The power is just gonna strike out on its own. It's very crazy to imagine a parrot mourning. Yeah, it would. Bury my parrot with me. The parrot wouldn just gonna strike out on its own. It's very crazy to imagine a parrot mourning. Yeah, it would. No, it wouldn't.

Bury my parrot with me. The parrot wouldn't mourn. Put the parrot in the coffin and have an open casket so you can see it freaking out and then wandering around trying to get out. If it's an open casket, Jack, it's gonna fly away. Catch it! Put it back in.

Bury with my parrot. Make sure it's an open casket. I was even crazy. I was imagining a thing I don't think they do where I had a clear, like a window. Oh yeah, your open casket was a see-through coffin. Yeah. They should do that. They should do that. See the parrot floating around? And then you could crack it open later and see what it'd become of my corpse without having to open up the... Why would I crack it open? Because I can look through the window.

You'd be covered in parrot shit, half-haten by a parrot, and then with a dead parrot lying on top of you. It's cool that the parrot would get to live a little bit longer in utter hell. Buried alive. Eating my dead body. Just shitting all over you. His body's always like parrot bites. You're walking, you come into my grave to lay flowers and you can just hear Quack quack quack quack!

We shouldn't have let him do that. That parrot has lived a lot. I get to live with it a long time. I thought it'd be gone by now. I don't think we should have let him do that. That was not okay. What if after like three days we dig up the coffin and let the parrot out? Well, I mean I'll be dead. No, but like how much does that parrot change in those three days? That's gotta taste like human flesh.

What if you bring him home and he starts whispering things that I said in death he's not saying things my ghost was saying He heard the secret That coffin buried alive with me got one of them like medium parrot. He just does whispering the devil's language The body's a pair into Jackson's backyard You got killed our parrot Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Dude you shouldn't have taken it over you should have given it away I guess that's why power to do it all the time That's a normal that's a normal thank God and then if he says that is he just repeating like is he not psychic Mmm, he's just cycling through the things he knows? I'm hungry!

Guys, I'm still alive down there. I'm talking to you through my barren. My barren has been chewing at my still alive corpse. Let me out! Let me out! Okay, so, let's... Captain America. Okay, what's the opposite of America?

Great question. Bench warm-up Russia? Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's pretty similar. Oh, they're similar now. Same with China. Well, okay, let's get more- Well, America's a superpower.

Yeah, yeah. So, who's the least powerful country? Or, what's the opposite of a country? Oh. The sea. Well, okay, so the United States of America. Yeah. So we need to be the divided, um, so what's the opposite of a city?

The sea. The sea. The sea. The sea a country? Oh The sea well, okay, so the United States of America. Yeah, we need to be the divided So what's an opposite of a state you need to be in between a state? Yeah, the divided border Okay, why is a border the opposite of a state because it's well the state is the whole thing. Yeah, the other board is the line Yeah The United Divided border I did border so he's capped but it's still America. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah sort of a captain. What about Benchwarmer international waters. Oh

He sounds like he's a criminal Cuz I mean I'm thinking sports team, but like captain's the most, he's the guy, bench warmer, not getting a look in. Another way we could do it is cap, opposite of cap shoes, opposite of tan, pale shoe, pale international waters. What about no cap international waters? No cap! Okay, no cap international waters.

So he doesn't have a shield has what our sword? Yeah Yeah, yeah, I mean is a sword. We got that opposite of a gun is a sword Waters has two swords and I guess is naked because the opposite of being closed. Yeah is being naked. Well, obviously Yeah, what's the opposite of stars and the opposite of stripes? The opposite of stars. Well stripes and stripes. Okay.

So is he just like a reverse America? If I met a man named No Cap International Waters who had two swords. I'm losing two arms today yeah yeah I like the idea of inverting everyone's costumes so Captain America just has a weird face mask and nothing else yeah what's the opposite of a super soldier serum I want to be serum to make you weak and dumb weak and, it's the weak and dumb juice. Okay. I am Super International War! There's no cap! I'm gonna cut your fucking arms off!

For no reason! I can't do this at all! One hit and I'm done! I can't do shit! He can't even lift up his sword. That's not so fucking heavy! Fuck my life. And fuck the countries.

Fuck the countries. Any country is bad. I hate the governments, except the bad ones. I love them. Corruption's alright. Okay, that's our leader. Was he made by Nazis? I guess so, right? Well no, cause the juice that he gets in... Oh, it was made by Nazis

It was the allied juice Allied gave the Nazis juice So they got here So an allied scientist defected Went to the Nazis Or wait no An allied scientist Pretended to defect

Gave a Nazi A weak dumb dude. Yeah. They're like, this is that Ubermensch. DUMB! I can't lift up my sword to do jack shit. I'm fucking weak and dumb. Fuck, man.

Fuck! Okay. EEEH! I don't know what the fuck's going on! What's happening? Where the hell am I? Now, unfortunately, we now have a Nazi on our team So the team currently let's let's take a macro look at the key okay, okay, not organized by car give car

Turtle mouth who's the only one with a Devil with a nail who hates himself Yeah, what, yeah. We've got a devil. We've got the devil with a nail who hates himself. Yeah, we didn't even name him. Yeah, what's the opposite of Thor? Roth? Maybe his name's Ross and he has a speech impediment. I love my name's Roth. And I fucking thug.

I fucking thug, dude. I'm so fucking stupid and dumb This devil sucks Yeah and also I'm Satan, whatever Yeah I'm Satan Yeah I'm Satan who the fuck cares I stink dude I'm so fucking worthless Hi I'm Ross I'm Ross I've got this nail

Whatever, my tongue is too big for my mouth Yeah, it's not like a superpower It's just like a problem I have I I guess being Satan, that's the superpower. And he's from, what's the opposite of, so Asgard, what's the opposite of As? Was. Was? What's the opposite of God?

Attack. Was attack. I come from was attack. I come from was attack, yeah, but I fucking suck, dude. I shouldn't be here. I can't lift up this nail. Oh fuck, I did it. It's a fluke be here. I can't lift up this nail. Oh fuck I did it. It's a fluke.

I know every time I've lifted this nail up, I've lifted it up, but I guess, you know, I don't know why though. It's just a fucking fluke. I guess I'm lucky, but I can't be that lucky. Yeah. I know someone's tricking me or something. It's probably not my real fucking nail. Anyway, I fucking suck. Hi, I'm Ross.

And then we've got No Cap. No Cap International Waters. Yeah, I'm dumb as shit. That's true, I'm dumb and fucking stupid as the Nazis made me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the Nazis, fuck me up. Fuck me right up. I first like a normal man, and then they made me fucking stupid and ween.

And I can't pick up the fucking swords. What? I got two of them, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They gave me the swords and dumb and I can't pick up the fucking swords What? I got two of them ya Ya ya ya ya ya They gave me the swords, can't lift them Sprechen die Deutsch 9, too stupid Have to learn English I like we've got two guys who are just so extremely similar

Okay, so Black Widow is a spider Now, what's the opposite of a spider? Snake? Bird? Bird? Bird! Okay, so Black Widow is a spider. Now, what's the opposite of a spider? Snake? Bird? Bird! Am I just thinking bird because bird is the predator of a spider? I think maybe. Well, a spider has eight legs. What has no legs?

Snake? Maybe you're right. And a spider with a web. Snake does not. But bird has two legs, which is close to opposite of eight. Yeah, that's true. Well, opposite of eight. Could be two. Could be two.

I want to say four for some reason. That's half. Could an opposite of a spider be a dog? FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots, guaranteed to hit by 11pm with your chance at the number one feeling. Winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do who wants this last parachute I do daily jackpots a chance to win with every spin on a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. Every day 19 plus and physically located in Ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca select games only guarantee void of platform or game

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White dog. I don't know who comes back to the white dog shit. That's true. Dogs are living longer. White dog. Now she was obviously, white dog was not raised to be a super soldier in the rad room. She was in the blue. Blue field.

Outside, yeah, blue field. Blue field by the, by USA. Yeah, the USA trained her to be nothing well no well so spy so an espionage kind of stuff like yeah so like loud yeah like what they kind of wanted yeah Oh yeah. That's not HBO. USO show? Oh yeah, she becomes like... A spokesman. Well also, the opposite of a black widow.

So a black widow is somebody who seduces men then kills them. So she doesn't seduce... Repels men. Repels men then lets them live. Saves them. Yeah. Okay. So she rescues men by repulsing them. Yeah. She resc Yeah. Okay, so she rescues men by repulsing them Yeah, she rescues men, but she's kind of like salty about it

Yeah, or like maybe she sees somebody about to get black widowed and she comes in and is obnoxious and wrecks the day Yeah, like like mr. McGooey. Yeah. Yeah white dogs the mr. McGoo of our team. Yeah Every team's got one. Everyone needs a bit of a slapstick. Every team got the Mr. Magoo. Yeah, well yeah, and it's the Black Widow, she's very good at doing flips and shit and loves to do kicks. Mr. Magoo. Yeah.

No, the white dog is like sort of very clumsy. Yeah. And marches everywhere. There's a lot of dis-noise. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They're always on a barrel. Yeah. Just tip it over.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I're always on a barrel. Yeah, it's just tippin' over. Whoa, whoa, whoa! I imagine them, like their outfit though, is like a dog's head. Like a taxidermied dog's head. Taxidermied. Yeah, it's a real dog. It's a real dog. But they have like, but the,

it's like it's their head, like their face, but then like the dog head above them. Oh, okay, yeah. They look a little taller. Nice, nice, nice. Yeah, that's good, that's good, that's good. Kind of like wearing a giraffe costume, I guess. Yeah, yeah. Like your face, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little taller nice nice nice. Yeah, that's good. That's good. That's good. I'm like wearing a giraffe costume I guess yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay

Look, okay. Well, that's an easy one. Yeah, Hulk gets calm and small. Yeah, he gets little we have a monster Man turns into a regular man We could have a man that turns into a regular man But that is already what Hulk does this Hulk gets calm and then gets small with bruce banner Should get if he gets calm he gets small yeah, and then he says that's my secret I'm no that's my secret give car no He'd say that's my secret no cap. Yeah, I'm always upset I'm always calm and then he gets more and weak

Doesn't punch anyone. He lies down on the ground because he's not strong. Oh sleepy? Sleepy. So he gets small, weak and sleepy. Yeah yeah yeah perfect. His heart rate plummets. He needs to go to hospital really every time he does it. Blood pressure drops. He's in real trouble. He needs to sit there. He needs to get a candy bar or something. Get his blood sugar up every time he does it. But he can fit into small places now, so that's pretty cool. If he can't, he shouldn't move. No, he shouldn't move.

Not quick. You roll him through a crevice. He's slowly, you know, very... Is that the Lion from Avengers? This is bothering me, that's my secret cap. I'm always I say that's my secret. I'm always angry That's my secret. I'm always angry That's my secret. I'm never no that's the thing I tell everyone yeah, I'm never angry Does he go what color does he go? What's the opposite of green that we can find out Oh, yeah, yeah, we got the color wheel for this express purpose the opposite of green. He does say cap. Oh, there you go That's my seek. That's the thing. I tell everyone no cap. I'm always never angry

Please help me call the ambulance the the ambulance. The world's spinning. Is it spinning for you? Red. Red. Okay, he's red. Like Red Hulk. Now, what's the opposite of Hulk? Hulk was the name of a kind of ship. Yep.

Mm-hmm. So maybe it's the name of a car. Or, well, a plane. Yeah, he's Qantas. The incredible Qant- No, the disgusting Qantas. Yeah, yeah, yeah's Qantas. The incredible Qantas. No, the disgusting Qantas. Fair enough. Okay, great.

I think we're protected under parody law. The horrific Qantas. The horrific Qantas. Unreliable. It's just a coincidence that Al Hulk keeps selling phantom flies. Now did he get his powers from not gamma radiation? Well it was from a bomb. Yeah.

So what's the opposite of a bomb? A bomb explodes. What? What goes in? Well, like horrible things that happen when you go through a keyhole. Oh, you get like, you get like spaghetti, not spaghetti-fied, I know what you mean. The bands? Does he get it from the bands? I would explain the look. So he was underwater. He was underwater in an old timey diving suit. And they accidentally fucked up the oxygen and he got sucked into a hole this small, which gave him the powers of the awful, disgusting, horrible, quantus.

The disgusting, horrible, dogshit, flight service quantus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, okay. That's the main group of events. Well, there's Iron Man. Oh, Iron Man. You forgot Iron Man.

He just says poor now. Poor. Yeah. Poor, dirt poor, in debt. Yeah. Actually, the world's most indebted man. Yeah actually the world's most indebted man. Yeah, the world's most indebted man. He's full of machines,

they're on the inside and outside. I guess inside is opposite of outside. Can a robot have debt? Through some legal machinations. Well, I guess he would kind of just be robot from- Like vision? Yeah. No, he'd be like robot from invincible but spoilers for invincible when robots wrecks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a robot that's a guy. Yeah, guy in a guy. But no, Iron Man does that. Iron Man does control that. It would actually be like an actual full on robot. But it'd be a robot with man's skin on the outside. Yeah, so it's like okay.

When mild-mannered Tony Stark was realizing just how indebted he was yeah designed the robot. He was trapped on a field On the top of a mountain, whatever the opposite of a cave is. He was free on a mountain. He was free in a hill Decided to do this on his own. He's like damn. I'm a robot that's in heaps of death Yeah, not Tony staff being like okay. I'm in a lot of that. I'm gonna make a robot Yeah, and that I'm gonna transfer all my debt on the him. Yeah Robot will control me. Yeah, and in a twist of fate the robot somehow got his skin Well, what's the opposite of your heart? Because you know, he's got the heart gives way his heart gives way well He's got okay. So it's a it's a robot

Starts skin But all his debt. Yeah. Yeah. I like him skin man No, sorry skin robot. It would be skin robot now in robot and he's siphoning money out and just increasing the debt of the bad avenging opposite avengers Yeah, I guess what's the opposite of a venging? Yeah. Well avenging is when it's like preemptively attacking the preemptively attack will be the Preemptors preemptors don. Pre-empters break up!

What a team! Yeah! I like them! How would they take down opposite Loki? Oh, great question. Now, opposite Loki's a guy who can't trick anyone. He's not tricky or magic. So he could be a devil. An honest devil. Yeah, Yeah. Yeah, he's an honest devil. He's Well, actually we need his brother. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, he's not Roth his brother Related he's a guy that doesn't know Actually completely opposite. Yeah, well, then it would be his brother. Yeah, that's true The opposite of a brother is a brother adopted brother. The opposite of an adopted brother is a brother. Is it the opposite of an adopted brother is like a blood sister. Yeah.

Blood sister. Yeah. Okay. But also we need opposite Thanos to send blood sister down to earth, except opposite Thanos probably sends blood sister not to earth, sends her up to space. Opposite Thanos wants to add another... Opposite Thanos would do what Captain America does at the end of Endgame and he would be like, go give away these gems. I love Opposite Thanos where he's like, I need to increase half the universe. I need to increase half the universe and I need to collect the... it's not infinity stones, it would be... The finite...

Finite... Finite dirt. I need to collect the it's not infinity stones. It would be the fine. I find I finite dirt We're gonna assemble the finite dirt so I can double the universe What are the opposite of the stones? Let's do that dirt. No, but I mean, sorry the dirt All right, I said of power we the weak do it. We I got the week Don't give it to any of our team No cap international orders They're weaker on Doma Shouldn't be Doma. Oh, excuse me. They're fucking nice. He's gave me a juice and made me dumb

so sorry if I Actually was that's the um I'm sorry if I can't figure out what the fuck is going on! Actually, it was actually a plot by the allies that made you weak and dumb. I can't even listen to you right now! I think I'm so dumb and weak my ears have stopped working. I think you just might be really sick. If I was even slightly stronger I'd tear my ears off right now! But I can't even move my arms. I need to lie down

What you're saying to me? I just is making me. I don't even know I gotta lie down next to the quarters Who's having a sleep on the floor? No cap? Do you think if you pull your ears off you'd stop hearing? Yes, cuz my ears. I'm not so stupid. I don't know what is do Ears, I'm not so stupid. I don't know what is do Where they listen yeah, that's where they listen so they're gone who's listening not me Make me tear off my lips so I can never speak to you again No, I like the sequence where no cap international waters is like I work for the government Okay, we got the week dirt, okay, what about the opposite of your mind the dumb dirt

Yeah, I'm body body dirt body dirt. Yeah, so well, I'm a body body dirt body body dirt. Yeah, so well, I guess if um Skin robot gives that maybe he gets a body. Oh, that's nice. Good for him. Yeah, okay body dirt Then we've got the opposite of space which is a time time cuz there is a time opposite of space No, it's a dirt dirt The opposite of space is earth. No, they're like what it would be the space. No. Is it dirt, dirt? Earth? The opposite of space is earth? No, no, like, it would be like objects. Oh, I see what you mean, because the opposite of space is no space.

It would be a condensed, what would it be, black hole? Yeah. I think it would be no space dirt. Black hole? Hole? Hole dirt, nice. Yeah, hole dirt. Reality? Fiction dirt? Fiction dirt.

It's a book. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, fucking Order of the Phoenix, awesome. I hate this writer and this book. Yeah. Yeah Wow fucking order of the Phoenix awesome I hate this writer in this book and then what sick what are the other? Let's see other stone this power mind space time time. What's your time? slow Wait, I said late late dirt. You got really good answers there

How sort of time would be infinite. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stasis. Yeah, yeah, it's a constant. It's a constant. This dirt is the same dirt all throughout history and time. We cannot let opposite of time get this dirt, dude. Or we need to get it to him.

Yes. No, he's giving it away. We need to take it. And we need to make sure that it remains in his feet. He's trying to give us the dirt. It's remained in his feet because he's got the sock. The finite sock. Yeah, the finite sock.

Where all the dirt lives. He's trying to take the dirt out of the finite sock and give it away, but we gotta stop him. And put it back in so he can double the universe yeah okay yeah I'm not watching this movie I hate this movie I'm watching it because it's so bold to make a movie so I think this would make me sick I think yeah I kinda love it yeah

I wanna see what happens with No Cap with Threatful Waters hanging out with White Dog and Qantas. Turtle Mouth. Turtle Mouth is also there. Give Calm. Turtle Mouth being like we gotta give the dirt back to opposite Thanos and he's just sucking it in being like my powers are useless. Obviously we got Mario Valley Yeah!

Give Calm's best friend Yes, Mario Valley Yes indeed I'm sitting in the cinema just robbing my temples Can they make a movie like this? Settle out Then they add Professor Normal It's Doctor Strange. He's just a regular guy.

Well, it's the opposite of Doctor, like he's not a professor, just be Mr. Normal. Mr. Normal? Except poor Mr. Normal, he got every bit of his body except his head. Broken in a car crash. Well, no, it just... Car construction. Yeah, they were building a car crash. Well, no, it just car construction They were building a car on him They wrecked every bit of his body but his hands which were reaching out then he went and saw her not wizards

Yeah, so then he decided to be car. He he I guess was like more into the opposite of spiritualism Yeah, rationality. He became scientist. He became kind of like a Richard Dawkins type. What's the opposite of supreme? Margarita. Cheese? Scientist cheese. Oh, Mr. Normal, the scientist cheese of old York. The small orange yeah really good stuff that's good

fucking look out here comes slow go I guess and is um adopted Brother Yeah The emerald wizard yeah, it's pretty normal Smell the wizard to smell I Mean the Android smell the Android smell yeah TV show wizard Everyone has a big falling out skin robot will recruit the the 16 year old

60 year old Dog girl yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah who's been dog girling around old York for 60 years Regular dog They bit the regular dog They bit a normal dog and this happened and they got no powers They got dog powers No, but Spider-Man got powers So they get no powers

Did they have powers? Did they transfer? They had powers, but the dog... I guess now the dog has powers, so I guess the opposite of Spider-Man is just a dog. And they all come together to blow up an airport. Yeah. Just like they helped those aliens take over New York. Yeah. And gave Thanos back the infinite sock.

Yeah, put all the dirt in it. Yeah. No. I love the MCU. Real good stuff. The OMCU. Opposite, yeah. Opposite Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Yeah, it's really good. Yeah. It's real strong. But it's nice to know that the opposite MCU became, like, as it went on real good Elderly woman bite it. I'd funny to show someone that's 60 elderly. Yeah, 60 feels too young to say elderly It's close to elderly approaching elderly like elderly doesn't apply until retirement age. What do you think about that? What do you when well when it's time and yeah

65 you're I can say somebody 65 you like they're elderly it still feels too young retirement age. What do you think about that? Well when is retirement age? Traditionally it's 65. You reckon 70-65 you're like there elderly? It still feels too young. I feel like people are too sprightly. 70 is elderly? You know what, I reckon 75 now. Dogs are getting older, elderly, 75. Thor 1 is worse than Thor 2. Those are my three straight opinions.

Three hot takes of the up. Okay, okay. Yeah, this is going to be nice. Okay, okay. Yeah, okay, yeah, this is gonna be nice. We'll be a, well no, we'll get to see a live action, origins of dog. That's right. Yeah, that will be really good. That'll be nice.

That's gonna be really good, yeah. A mild-mannered dog. Mild-mannered dog got bit by some crazy super-powered lady. Yeah. And then got powers somehow. And then the dog's uncle was shot. No was dogs Uncle shot a criminal of an uncle The dogs aren't mom dogs is the opposite of a uncle of mom. No, it'd be not

Uncle V odd that's opposite Dogs aren't shot a criminal stabbed stabbed a criminal, and then the criminal died and said, hey without bad no powers doesn't come. Without bad powers doesn't Woof! Hahahaha So I guess... A dog stabbed a criminal! And... In the... In the dying thoughts of the criminal... Dog, dog!

Without bad powers doesn't come bad resp... Yeah, irresistibility! Woof woof! Hahahaha That didn't fuck you up! Look down to see a dog with a knife in its mouth that has stabbed you. You turn over to look at that dog's nephew. Without powers doesn't come.

No responsibility. Freedom! Why would he be saying that to a dog? That's so funny. Yeah, what would he's dying? He's like the synapses of fire and this episode has brought us to sentences. No one's ever said before Unique sentence there were no we're in a place. No one's ever dared to tread What if a man said the opposite of the classic spider-man thing to a normal dog? great powers Respons great responsibility. With dog?

When you're worthless, don't worry about it. Woof woof. Dog, dog, come here. When you're worthless, don't worry about it. Woof. And then the dog goes. And then the dog slips away. And J. Jonah Jameson fucking loves that dog.

This dog is the best thing to happen to all you guys. And then the dog slips away. And J. Jonah Jameson fucking loves that dog. This dog is the best thing to happen to old york. We love this dog. Small orange fucking loves this dog. Beautiful dog. Wonderful dog. I can't wait to see when all of dog's villains just start disappearing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All of dogs villains to start disappearing. Yeah. Yeah dogs like hmm when the um

the um the red See opposite of a god elf the red elf. No, that's too similar to a goblin What's an opposite? Oh Yeah, the giant the red orc the red giant Professor fish The red orc the red giant professor fish You're having a good time. I think you've lost steam on the other side You ain't just spider-man's rogue gallery and just immediately like oh, that was my tipping point Yeah, that's it. That was the moment. You're like I can't the sinister six

I just know I'm gonna go on I'm not going to cure Yeah, poor medicine I guess Vulture Yeah Carc, carcass. Carcass, there it is. He's a very young man. A very young man with a wonderful, incredible nose. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Can't fly for shit, walks everywhere, is a carcass, maybe dead, maybe just dead. Mouth of a carcass. He's a dead man. Well it doesn't matter because dog's gonna go kill them all. Yeah. Oh yeah, I guess carcass would make sense. Yeah. Dog eats his dog.

He's eating that. Like, yeah, fair. Whoa! Super heroics before my very eyes. That dog's eating that dead man. I gotta rig up the newspaper and report this wonderful news. Yeah! Jay Jurnan, did you see this?

This dog ate this dead man. Yeah. Oh, that's fantastic. Except he would be like, That's wonderful. Don't get me pictures of dog. Get me only video. Yeah. Get me video of dog.

Respect dog's privacy. I will pay wealth, help handsomely. For no pictures of dog. I will pay lots of money so I can get these pictures and not publish them. Yeah. For my... Yeah. Newspaper. I will pay lots of money so I get these pictures and not publish them. Yeah for my yeah So my my old screen my lack of news my nothing

Fuck my what's the opposite of the news? It's like stuff. That's not newsworthy. Yeah, my boring thing Jackson The podcast when it runs adrift is best just to pull that pin, baby Nothing good was gonna happen from that point on And in fact listeners because that ended so, let's hear a little bit of conversation where the episode started. Enjoy! Oh fuck.

It's a cyclical episode. It's beautiful dude. You can listen to it anyway. It's kind of like Tenet in a way. If you listen on repeat, no. If you listen on repeat, the sign-off starts the episode again. So yeah, I guess just like Tenet. Yeah, the sign-off starts the episode again Yeah, I guess just like tenant. Yeah, just like Well played in reverse

Doesn't work in reverse. It's a loop. Yeah, it's like the wall So if we played half of it in reverse, no at the same time No, you think we you say we couldn't make a tenant episode. We could make a tenant episode. That wasn't a tenant If this is still in enjoy the start of the episode hit reflect replay it'll still work. Yeah Goodbye See you soon for preemptive talk God we gotta end this Yeah, stop never good Hit stop hit stop, but not you listen We gotta get out of here. I'm thinking about Tenet now. Yeah. Stop!

That's never good. Hit stop! Hit stop! But not you listeners, hit repeat. I saw a t-shirt the other day, there was a Tenet t-shirt. No! It was like $40, but I nearly got it. It was extra extra large.

I was like, I should have got it. I should have done it. Yeah. Had Tenet on the front. Cause if he goes... It's not a loop. He gets forward-backward. Yeah, he goes forward-backward and backward-forward.

He sucks the bullets out, which kills a man. Yeah, that's worse for you apparently. of loop he is forward backward yeah he goes forward backward and backward forward he sucks the bullets out which kills a man yeah that's worse for you apparently does it bring him back should bring him back to yeah they don't understand christopher no one doesn't get it i'll say it enjoy the talk about the chairs that you're about to hear goodbye bye Bye! See ya! That's good. I'm here with my good friend. Good friend's plant. Clever. Is this good for our male living spaces?

It's lovely the death stars, our male living spaces. I got my gnome. Yeah, see. I got Funko pops. Funko's, that's good. I got a pillow. He's got Jojo Bink. I love Jojo Bink.

We should start recording with just mattresses on the floor. Yeah. I'd be too tempted to have a little nap. Yeah, yeah. That's why you've got the chair and not the couch. Yeah. I'd be too tempted to have a little nap. Yeah, yeah. That's why you've got the chair and not the couch. Yeah, you'd have me asleep, dude. Oh, mattresses and like milk crates. Oh, yeah.

That's good. That's good stuff. I gotta redo my room to make it more fucked up. Yeah, dude. I've been thinking, what if I had a futon recently? You think that'd be good for me? Yeah, dude. I think that is a rancid vibe

to go into someone's bedroom and you see a couch. Yeah. What kind of futon? We like like a couch that goes into a futon or like a futon? I don't think a couch that goes into a futon I think it's fucked up to imagine opening the door and I'm just sitting on the couch like looking at nothing What are you doing in here Jackson? I'm like, huh? I'll come out to you. Also cuz I know I know how you live So if you got a futon, it's not going to change anything.

You just have to fuck with the vibe because you're not packing that up. No, no. You're waking up in the morning and packing up that futon. Might help you roll over into the, out of bed. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. That's about it. I'm thinking it'd be lumpy and hard. And I feel like that's what I need to sleep on.

Like an actual futon designed as in it's not a couch. Like it's a futon for the floor, that's great, like you're living your best toddler life. Why not just simply sleep on the couch you already have? Now that's an idea. My room's just for nothing now. Is your computer in your room? Yeah it is.

It's a computer room. I'm bringing it back. Your bedroom is now the office Yeah, yeah, if you're doing it like a good fruit on kind of like yeah They sort of like you know the Japanese style kind of nice and that I'm like, okay You could do that, but I know you're not gonna do that Like a mat you're gonna put down a mat underneath it. I don't want anything else like that. I tell you get mold I tell you get mold. Yeah, what about that thing? He just go off He doesn't know how he does old from he doesn't give it. What about that thing? He just glossed around. He doesn't know how you get mold from that.

He doesn't give a shit. What's that kind of chair? It's possibly called a papadom? No, that's not a chair, dude. That's for food. No, I know, but it might also be a chair. Is your next guest gonna be Ramadan? Cause that's also not a chair.

No. What do you mean? It's like a special chair. When you say, does it look like a papadom? Yes. Oh, interesting. So like half, is it, are you thinking of those clam shells? It's a Papa-

Papa Smurf? It's called a, hang on. It's a Papa-san. It's this kind of chair and it's huge. Maybe I can get that to sleep in it. Okay. Yeah, why? I don't know, just to- For people who didn't see, I guess. Just to shake I get that in sleep in it. Okay. Yeah, why? I don't know, just to-

For people who didn't see, I guess. Just to shake things up in my goddamn life. It's like a big shell. Yeah. It looks like a clam shell, half a clam shell. Maybe it would fix my problems if I slept in a shell. Thank you to the editor for editing this conversation into the end of the episode so you get to see how we warmed up. Jackson lives fucked up.

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