Plumbing the Death Star - What is the Best Fictional Universe to Live in?

Episode Date: October 20, 2014

In which our heroes don’t care that it’s bigger on the inside, aren’t impressed with how many parsecs you made the Kessel Run in and don’t want to deal with that mutant problem on Earth 616 because there are better fictional universes to live in. We look at the all powerful nature of dance magic, the problem of changing history, and wonder if it's better to be Tom Hanks or just live in the same universe as him. Jackson wins straight off the bat, Zammit accidentally learns two lessons, and Duscher just wants to own a shrimp company. It's a crisis on Infinite Earths as we attempt to insert ourselves into popular fiction with no regard for anyone else. Want to help the search for other worlds? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in locating our other selves. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sans Pants Radio, are you allergic to your feet? Are you looking for an unlicensed barber? Email us at sanspantsradio at gmail dot com and I'll try and sort something out. I can't promise you'll enjoy the results, though. For everything else, including links to our other shows, our Twitter, or our Patreon account, head to sanspantsradio dot com. Hi, and welcome to another episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, what would be the best fictional universe to live in?

Alright, I'll go first. Okay. And I think you'll appreciate this universe. That intro has made me sound like I'm gonna hate it. The Kevin Bacon classic, Footloose. Yes. I'm choosing big. Tom Hanks, big.

That'd be the best universe. Choosing big. Dusha? This has just completely derailed me. You've gone for such strange choices. I can't even remember what I was going to say now. Jeez. Let's...

Alright. Alright, I'll do mine. I'll think about mine i'll think i'll think about mine all right let's come back to you you guys went oh i was expecting you guys to be like the matrix complicated you've just thrown footloose at me i just footloosed the situation okay now here's the beauty of footloose okay because footloose isn't really about a town where john lithgow is band dancing, is it? It's about a sexual oppression. It's about John

Lithgow not being able to get over his grieving son. And how do they solve that problem? Dance. In fact, in the world of Footloose, how do they solve any problem? Through dance. Imagine a world where if you have an issue, doesn't matter how big, could be the grief of your lost son,

could be the sexual repression of a small American town. You solved that problem through dance. Oh, where's my keys? Don't worry. Angry dance in a fucking warehouse. There they are. And you've just found them. I found them. My favourite scene in that entire film is just he does the backflip thing,

and then it's just like glitter. Yeah! Imagine! Imagine a world where dance is basically magic. And fixes all your problems. And you don't even have to dance well. Kevin Bacon dances like an idiot the whole movie. He just swings his arms around. At one point he swings on a fucking rope in a way.

That's not dancing. That's Tarzan swinging. And there's music playing all the time. Yeah. Perfectly cut into. He fucking puts that tape on in his car and then just from there he can go and dance

the music plays throughout the whole warehouse every problem every tiny issue in your life solved with the

power of dance also if you hate dancing it's also great because it's illegal so you're like no one's when you go to prom and stuff

girls are gonna be like I'm not gonna go with you you can't dance they'll be like prison yeah that's okay if you were to go to prom and stuff, girls are going to be like, I'm not going to go with you, you can't dance. They'll be like... Prison. Yeah. That's okay.

If you were the old prom dame. I can't dance. You would then do a dance about that problem, and then you can dance. Then they can dance. Or just teach them to dance like Kevin Bacon teaches his idiot friend to dance. And you have a dancing montage to fix the dancing. I'm on board with this.

This is a great universe. No flaws. Try and find a floor in Footloose as the ideal universe to live in. Cripple. Sorry, what? If you're cripple. If you have no legs. No, no, no.

Paraplegic. Swinging on a fucking Tarzan. Although if you're paraplegic, you have a paraplegic problem, you then do a dance and you're no longer a paraplegic. You have a paraplegic problem, you then do a dance, and you're no longer a paraplegic! You danced some legs into existence. That sounds so good. You know what paraplegic means, right?

Because your legs... I got legs back. Spine. Spine's still fine. But then you do a dance about your spine, you're solved. I love that I... A new spine. Have I just won already?

I think so. Well, hey, let's hear about Big now. Because, like, Big. Now we all know about Big. I love that I have just won already. I think so. Well, hey, let's hear about Big now. Because, like, Big. Now we all know about Big. I mean, the guy has some problems. He's like, I'm not tall enough to get this ride. I'm not tall enough to get the lady to like me. I'm just, you know, I'm not whatever.

He's having a rough one. So he goes and makes a wish. He becomes Tom Hanks. And then he has learned some lessons. And then he realized he didn't have something so bad. And then he makes some Learned some lessons And then he realises He didn't have something so bad And then he makes the wish And reverts back

What's the benefit of that? So apart from the whole thing About him being big It just means that You have a problem You can make a wish That you can then Live that problem out

Or live like See Do you have the wish granted? Yeah If it doesn't work out Okay that's cool I'll just wish it away And you've learnt some lessons, you've grown up

And you realise life wasn't so bad Yours is effectively a better version of mine No, no it's not Footloose sure is that anyone can do that Anyone can go find a Zoltar machine No, but in fact It only happens to one guy Yeah, that we see

Yeah, exactly, that we see Only happens to Kevin Bacon that we see No it doesn't It only happens to one guy. Yeah, that we see. Yeah, exactly, that we see. It only happens to Kevin Bacon that we see. No, it doesn't. He teaches, like... It only happens to one town that we see. Yeah, but one whole town compared to one dude. Yeah, because we follow that one dude. But we also follow Kevin Bacon,

and we see that it works in the whole town. No, no, but I see where it's coming from. I mean, how many Zoltar machines are there? We don't know. There could be fucking heaps. And even if there is only one, after Tom Hanks has a go at it, he fucks off, the next kid comes along.

Exactly. And it's not just about I want a wish to be big. He wishes a whole existence of being an adult. He wishes for a good job. In a sense, he wishes for a girlfriend. Because even though he's like, I wish I was big, you can kind of see some parallels happening where he actually gets an older blonde chick,

he actually gets a job which he absolutely loves doing. All this kind of stuff happens. So it's just granting your wish and living out what could potentially be a problem. So it's like having a midlife crisis. I'm like, I hate my asshole kids. I hate my wife. I wish that I'd never gotten married and maybe that I instead hooked up with, you know, my secretary instead.

That wish is granted. You suddenly wake up. You're banging your secretary. Your wife and kids aren't existing anymore. Do that for a couple of months. Then you realize, nah, my life was so much better. I'm going to go find that thing, wish it all back. It all just comes undone.

Does every wish come with a lesson, though? Maybe. Because that sounds like it's going to become a hassle. Yeah, but if it does, or... There's no change in your future. There's just, I mean, like, hey, it's going to become a hassle. Yeah, but if it does, or... There's no change in your future. There's just, I mean, like, hey, it's a good little holiday for sure. But, or you make the wish.

You're like, I hate my asshole kids. I hate my wife. I'm going to do this now. And then you live that life. You're like, this is the best. Keep living it. Don't have to find the Zoltan machine. Don't have to go back and unwish that.

It's great times. Yeah, okay. It just sounds like you want to live in a universe where you can be married, then cheat on your wife, and not feel bad about it. Okay, um, say you then went for a job. You got that job. You don't like that job. You then go, maybe I should have been, I don't know, a cartoonist.

And then you make that wish, and you become a cartoonist, and go, that was like a shitty life. Dream big there, buddy. Just an example. Whatever you want. For example, sock. No, because it has to come with a lesson. It doesn't have to come with a lesson. It just did with this one. It has to come with a lesson.

It has to come with a lesson. Because why would they take the wish back if there was no lesson? Because that was his wish to go back. There are two issues, though. The first issue being that not everybody knows the Zoltar machine works. So you're living in that universe could mean that Zoltar machine works. That's true. So, you know, a lot of people are just... So, you living in that universe could mean that you're just a dude.

That's fine. No, but just a dude. No, no, no. See, that's not fair because I'm living in this universe and I'm solving my problems with dance. Not everybody can. John Lithgow doesn't solve his problems with dance. Kevin Bacon solves John Lithgow's problems with dance.

Yeah, yeah. But the second problem is that if you wanted to get the proper benefits of that, you're going to have to keep that Zoltar machine with you permanently you're going to go like Zoltar crazy you have a wish machine there right?

that's true you have basically magic anything you want, but you've got to keep that machine and if that machine gets out, you'll be this old eccentric billionaire with this Zoltar machine locked away somewhere. But then I guess you can just wish to be young, because he just

abused the fuck out of the Zoltar machine. I think it's a pretty good system. Why does Tom Hanks not use it more than once, then? He's a kid. He's a kid. He doesn't know what he's doing. No, but that makes even less sense. No, because he uses his family. He uses it. And there's nothing to say that he doesn't use it later on. Does it get destroyed?

No. All right. I don't remember that. Nah. He bangs... The old blonde girl. The old blonde chick. How old is he?

Like, at the start of the film. 13. It's not good. It's not good. Like, Tom Hanks abuses his Zolta powers. And then technically gets abused. Now, there's a lot of problems with that. Yeah, it's not good.

But he learnt a lesson. Also, he grows up, he knows exactly what he's going to look like. He's going to look like young Tom Hanks. And if I was like 13, like Fat Joel, put away a wish, I wake up as young Tom Hanks, life's going to be good to me. Although if you put in, you're like, I'm like, I don't know, Zach Galifianakis. No, but then you're just like a Zoltan machine.

I don't want to be fat in the future. Zoltan machine's like, I don't know, Zach Galifianakis? I'm like, mm. No, but then you're just like a Zoltan machine. I don't want to be fat in the future. The Zoltan machine's like, all right. Yes. What if the Zoltan machine only works... It's like John Candy, like, mm. Damn it, Zoltan machine. Yeah, what if it only works to, like, time travel-esque, sort of, though? So you can't wish for anything?

You can only wish to be young or old? That's very specific, Zoltan. That's an oddly specific machine. I just feel like that this... I just say, yeah, because the wish, he wishes to something and it happens. I think it's a good universe, but your only issue is that this is the one specific

instance where this can happen. And I feel like that... But if we can take it away with that, you can wish for anything, because there's nothing to say that you can't. But there's also nothing to say that he... Yeah, I get that. But you can wish for more Zoltar machines. That's true.

Why the fuck not? Aha! Okay, so we're going to have some implications of this Zoltar. They can only have one wish. Yep. Is that it? And you have to learn a lesson. You have to learn a lesson.

Well, still, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. All things considered. All things considered, that's a pretty good life to live. Yeah. Look, and do we all get one? Like every person gets one lesson? I feel like the moment that that happens, if you give everyone one wish, the world ends straight away.

One wish if they find the Zoltar machine. And also one wish where you learn a lesson. So it all reverts back to normal at the end anyway. No, that would backfire so much. Imagine every single person in your life gets one wish. If they find the Zoltar machine. No, no, no.

Because you said, he gave everyone a Zoltar machine. That's very true. Every person gets one wish. Yeah, but they learned a lesson. The world is fucked. What's your wish? I don't know now.

I'm scared. Yeah. I don't know what I wish for. Because, no, see, you're thinking about it. Some people would just be selfish after like, I want to be rich. Yeah, and then they'd be rich and then they'd be like, I shouldn't be rich. What if they Because, no, see, you're thinking about it. Some people would just be selfish asses, like, I want to be rich. Yeah, and then they'd be rich, and then they'd be like, I shouldn't be rich.

What if they don't learn a lesson whilst they're thinking? I think you have to. So you have to learn a lesson. I think that's the implication of the Zoltan machine. Which means the future is so fucked. Yeah, the issue with everybody getting rich for, like, a month or two, and then not getting rich, the market is going to be like, excuse me? I don't know what happened.

We had the CEO, but now he's saying he's a child. Also, I think if everyone knew about it, you could all be like, if something happened and we were wrong, and they're like, I'm only 12, guys. Boop, boop.

I am 12. I don't know. You can't put me in prison. And run off, having embezzled billions. There's some flaws. Yeah, there's some flaws, but if you're the only person who finds that Daltar machine, you're in the money. You're gone.

As an individual, personal thing, for a universe... I want you to tell me what you're going to wish for. I honestly don't know what I'm going to wish for. There's no point having it. I'm taking it off you unless you can give me a wish. Let's... A million dollars and a sex butler. A million dollars and a sex butler.

A million dollars and a sex butler. Okay, how does Ems feel about a sex butler? Well, she wouldn't happen. Sex butler's not to have sex with. He just bottles whilst you have sex. You're like, lube, Higgins. And he comes with a silver tray and you're like, thank you, Higgins, to your corner.

What lessons are you learning from that? Don't hire a sex butler. He'll steal your silverware. And with a million dollars, it's just, the lesson is, it's not enough money. Then that's two wishes. That's one wish. It's combined. No, two lessons, though.

So that's two wishes. No, because. Oh, I have to learn a lesson per wish. Yeah, Big learns a lesson. Tom Hanks, not Big. His name's not Big. Tom Big Hanks. Tom Tom Hanks not Big his name's not Big Tom Big Hanks he learns

because he wishes to be big but in a sense the whole wish thing I think grants him more than he's being big because he gets a job he gets a girl

he gets one lesson and if you it's an encompassing lesson of of value it's all encompassing don't grow up too fast

is what the fucking lesson is that's one lesson yours is two lessons so that's two wishes I'm gonna include It's all encompassing. Don't grow up too fast is what the fucking lesson is. That's one lesson. Yours is two lessons, so that's two wishes. I'm going to include don't hire a sex butler in the money order. But how? Maybe because, okay, it could be.

No, no, no. I got this. I got this. What's your wish? I got this because money doesn't buy everything, which includes a sex butler. But then your money did buy a sex butler. That isn't a lesson. I can't answer this question because I haven't gotten a wish to get the lesson that I need to be taught.

I reckon something's horribly wrong with this wish. You get a lot of holes, but not a lot of solutions. I don't know the lesson. That's why I need a wish because I can wish for it, and then there we go. So I think Big Universe is pretty good. I reckon Big and Footloose are on par. Go on,

try and trump us, you piece of shit. Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump? Why? I'm on board because it includes Tom Hanks. Alright. Like, I'm there. Don't get me wrong. I'm interested to see what you say.

Literally every problem he has is solved by walking across America. Do you mean like all of the problems he's had up to that point he just deals with, but his girlfriend still dies of AIDS? Yeah. He's raising a kid which may or may not be his. No, but like, he's fine with it. Also, is all your problems in childhood solved by your mum

banging them yeah so do you live the life of Forrest Gump so your ideal universe is being a like slow witted guy that just happens to be I guess you get to see you influence

yeah you are one of the most important people in the 21st century. Probably the most important person. But nobody knows, man. Doesn't matter. He knows. Self-worth. Wait, does he know?

Because he is an idiot. No, he does not. He knows. No, I don't know if he does. Because that's the whole point of the fucking story. Yeah, but he's like... Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to find.

Yeah, he does not. But does he know how important he was to, like, you know, everything? Like, the the the regardless he just ended up with a fucking successful shrimp company that's true i'm rich i'm wearing a white suit at a bus stop i don't even give a fuck i guess yours has holes mine's just like wait hang on but no you're taking over tom hanks's life in that film we're just living in that universe so you just could be you could be bubba in this situation i have a successful shrimp company no you're but you're dead i don't care i was rich rich no but he wasn't rich angry and dead but no he bubba didn't become lucia rich angry but bubba didn't become rich in fact he just had the idea of being a shrimp no but look if you in your universe get

to live tom Hanks' life where you find a Zoltar machine and you make a wish. Yeah, which is way more specific than being slow with it. I don't know, but living in Tom Hanks' universe, the Forrest Gump universe, that just means that in your universe

there is someone who is influenced not necessarily you. No, because that would mean that in your universe somebody's found the Zoltar machine, where in fact in your universe you found the Zoltar machine. I had the possibility to find the Zoltar machine. Does that mean that in your universe, somebody's found the Zoltan machine. Yeah. And in fact, in your universe, you found the Zoltan machine. I had the possibility to find the Zoltan machine. Does that mean that Dusha's the possibility

to be in every single historical moment? Which is awesome. Because... Which is even better than my original statement of taking over Tom Hanks' life, because I'm not slow-witted. I'm quick-witted and handsome. So I could influence every movie in history.

By just being handsome and being the greatest imagine me in a bus stop I don't think that's like the universe because that universe no but in your universe you lived the life of Tom Hanks no I lived the life of someone who found the Zoltar machine yeah he's living the life of someone who's living

in that's Tom Hanks' universe is just it doesn't have something different He's living the life of someone who's living in... Tom Hanks' universe is just... No, see, okay, put it like this. It just doesn't have something different. Put it like this. You're living in a universe where you're someone who finds a Zoltar machine. I'm living in a universe

where I'm someone who influences all of American history. Well, then... No, I live in a universe where Zoltar machines exist. You live in a universe where dancing is something that fixes problems. You just live in a universe where it is... Shrimp. Shrimp companies. Bubba Gump.

That's not... You live in a universe where you have the potential to be in every single important historical moment. Oh, man. I'm going to... Life's going to be so good for me. No, but see, your universe is rife with danger. In my universe... If we want to talk about danger, I'd give everyone one wish.

It's way more dangerous. In my universe, if I have a problem, I solve it with dancing. What if you got arrested for dancing? I dance and the problem's solved. But you dance in prison. And that's fixed. You wouldn't get released because dancing is still illegal. But he would have danced and impressed the warden. Organized a prison dance-off.

The warden's like, it's not illegal in this prison, Jackson Bacon. And then I chuffed one out of there. So the warden's like, it's not illegal in this prison. You're still in prison. Nah, he'd be like, here's the opening. I think at the end of Footloose, John Lithgow lifted the ban. Also, does he have the power to ban?

He's a preacher, isn't he? I don't even know why he had the power to make it a law. I don't know, if I'm a preacher in a small town, I can't just start decreeing things as legal and illegal and people go to prison for this. Like, beans are illegal! I fucking hate beans! Everyone's like, beans, off you go!

John Lithgow somehow gets away with it. I think it's because he has the whole town wrapped around his little finger. Surely everybody knows that the only reason it's banned is because John Lithgow's son died in a car accident from music. He wasn't even dancing, he was just listening to music. John Lithgow, idiot.

He probably should have banned music. But then he'd be like, hmm, I need something to play in my church. I'm banning dancing. Oh, I think he banned music as well, except for classical music. But the point is that I can solve... Can't dance to classical. Yeah, well...

That's the point. That's the real story here. I can solve nearly every problem with dancing, right? Zammett can make a wish, then go back on his wish. I can influence all of America. Yeah, but that's dangerous. Because you could start a war. You could end up in an America that is war-torn and awful. You could start a war with dancing.

But then fix it by dancing. Exactly. Oh, dancing's the best. I solve every problem with dancing, and it's the best. And Joe could fuck the entire world with one wish. Yeah, but then I can revert it back. Yeah, because that's the beauty of the big... And I'm influencing every moment in America,

so if I fuck up one moment, I can probably fix the next one. I just don't think that's a universe sort of existence. It's the same as yours. How is it different? Is it because there's nothing magic? Yeah. You realise there's nothing magic in Footloose? There's something magic about dancing. You're just really on board with dancing. That's the only reason you're distracted by

his fucking universe. There's nothing magic in Footloose. In Footloose, Kevin Bacon dances and everyone loves it. Exactly. But he doesn't dance his problems away. It's dance magic, Jackson. He dances his anger away. No, and it's like Saturday Night Fever. Also dance magic. Saturday Night Fever.

Dance magic dance. John Travolta and all his friends' shitty lives, but Saturday nights, they can just dance and they forget about their problems. They don't solve their problems. That's where dance magic doesn't go far enough. His friend still has to get his girlfriend an abortion.

Yeah. That's the lesson in Saturday Night Fever. Did they dance about that? Because I figured that's one weekend, maybe don't dance, guys. Saturday Night Fever has a dance scene to that. That's a grieving. I watched this movie recently.

Don't dance, Grief. I always thought movies about dancing were terrible but Saturday Night Fever what a film Footloose as well it's gone

Kevin Bacon Kevin Bacon solves his problems with dancing they should have a crossover they should have they're old for it now

that's funny Kevin Bacon doesn't age you're the best but yeah being Forrest Gump it's gonna be the best no but Dusha's got so much potential

to fuck up all your problems solved at the end of the to be the best. No, but Dusha's got so much potential to fuck up. All your problems solved at the end of the day. I just, I don't know if Dusha's, you're just like, I'm going to be whatever. Like, I could say,

I'm going to be Bag of Ants and do that. I mean, it's just... Well, no, because that's... That's not being in a fictional universe.

That's just taking over a fictional character. Bag of Ants is magical. Have you seen the film? Have you seen the greatest film ever made like our film yeah the legend of bag of ants magical he's magical very magic i'm just it's he's a magical golf caddy i'm saying you can't just live in the world and expect to be

but if in your universe you are tom no i'm not i'm someone not. I'm someone else who has found a Zoltan machine. Well, then he's somebody who's living in all of those situations. Otherwise, what's even the fucking point? We've got the same problem. The only thing is mine doesn't have magic. Yeah, it's just stressing you out. It's just stressing me out because that's just not magic. I don't like the fact that you chose something without magic.

It's dance, dance, magic. We settled this, Jackson. You just really love dance and want to disagree with me. Point is... No, I just thought... I do love dance, and yes, I We settled this, Jackson. You just really love dance and want to disagree with me. Point is... No, I just don't... I do love dance and yes, I love disagreeing with you but in this case,

I think I have a valid point of that's not really a universe. Okay, change the Zoltan machine so rather than making a wish it just gives you 100 bucks. Imagine if you were like, I want to live in that universe. Yeah, I'm down for that.

But then it's the same thing. Exactly. Not really. It's exactly the same thing. Yeah, it's the exact same thing. You have the chance of finding $100. I have the chance of changing America but we all have the chance

of it has said yeah we do and that's why I want to live in this world because unlimited potential guys motivating I'd rather you say

like limitless where you get a pill that does that fuck limitless Forrest Gump Forrest motherfucking Gump I'm on board with this

life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you're gonna get and I know exactly what I'm getting that's the point that's the magic of fucking Forrest motherfucking Gump I'm on board with this Life is like a box of chocolates You never know what you're gonna get And I know exactly what I'm getting That's the point That's the magic of fucking Forrest Gump It's coincidence after coincidence That's the magic he's getting Okay

Now I'm on board Now I'm on board You just live in a world where There is coincidence which makes you Fine There's the magic in there Magic and coincidence Had to find the magic

Now I'm alright But we got there And As my original point was The amount of fuck ups Joel Magic in the universe. Had to find the magic for Zane to hit him. Now I'm all right. But we got there. And, as my original point was, the amount of fuck-ups Joel Dusha has to make here. Both of our universes, we solve our problems. We have a problem, solve it like that. Joel Dusha fucks up.

What now? What now? Joel Dusha's at, like, the fucking... Like, he's on the grassy knoll when JFK gets shot. Everyone's like, him. He's like, I... knoll when JFK gets shot. Everyone's like, him. He's like, I... Oh, damn. Prison. Fuck.

Yeah, your universe is... You're just taking Forrest Gump because he's been in all these good things happen to you. What if you go like, they're shitty coincidences. Because you're not a slow-witted simpleton who everyone's like... You come out of Vietnam and be like, Vietnam was fucking awful.

And everyone will be like, take him down. Yeah. He can be like, look at his handsome, calming face. He's not good. So yeah, you could be the worst coincidence. Calming's the opposite of not good. If I have a calming, handsome face, people are like, I believe this guy. That's just my own personal thing.

I like looking at your face when I'm unwell. It calms me. It is a calming visage that you possess.'s it's listeners it's happened like i've been very sick and it's the only thing to stop me vomiting looking at douches face so really everyone needs to live in this universe where if you're feeling sick just look at his beautiful face take a gander feel way better but yeah you could be i'm changing my answer yeah my universe is a universe where i'm not me but when i'm sick I can look at me and feel better

I mean it's fictional in that you just made it up then it's not really an established fictional universe if we're going by those laws I want to live in a universe where I have a billion dollars a big dick and a mule none of those are real

I have the best and I get to beat up all my high school bullies and then be the CEO of the earth. No, but seriously, Forrest Gump. I'm glad that we've established this because I've been Joel. And I've been Joel. And I've been Jackson. But I was not big

Footloose. Let's be honest. Footloose number one. Forrest Gump number two. Forrest Gump number one. Forrest Gump, number two. No. Forrest Gump, number three. No. Forrest Gump is number three, buddy. Number one.

Zoltan, number two. Zoltan, number two. Forrest Gump, number three. Our producers are yelling something at me about me coming last in this discussion, but I'm quite confident

in myself. We'll see when I change the world and you guys are just busy fucking off with your magic and I'll be like I got shot in the ass sure

but then I became president because not dim-witted not dim-witted exactly so everyone's gonna be more suspicious of you I reckon you'll be in prison

people will be like what a true American hero I'll be like prison prison I reckon you'll be in prison prison well I'm off to dance this anger away.

Yeah, I'm off to make wishes to see if this episode never happened and learn a lesson that maybe this episode should have happened and then we can just do it again. I'm going to go on a long walk. It's going to be the best. Fuck you guys. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com.