Plumbing the Death Star - What is the Best Fictional Universe to Live in? (Again Again Again?) Live from MICF (Ft. Martin Dunlop, Claire Sullivan and Rhys Nicholson)

Episode Date: April 16, 2018

In which our heroes are joined live from the Melbourne International Comedy Fest by Martin Dunlop, Claire Sullivan and Rhys Nicholson to ask the hard hitting question; What is the Best Fictional Universe to Live in? (Again Again Again?)Join our brand new facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/ Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: [e-mail] Twitter:  twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Welcome to a special bonus midweek episode of Plumbing the Death Star. This was recorded last weekend at the European Beer Café for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. We've still got one more show to do this weekend This is precarious. It's cramped. If I fall, laugh at me. Rest in peace if you fall.

Somehow, Dushar, I'm on my own stool, but you're crowding me. You're a rude man. Well, it's just true. So before we get into the formalities of starting this show, can you hold... Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, there's nowhere for me to put a drink, and I made the mistake of holding it when I walked out.

Feel free to put it on the floor. Don't hold it the whole episode. Enjoy. Yeah, just drink up, whatever. Yeah, I'm not sick, so if you want to take some... But I can see you. The light is on you, so I will notice, and I will comment yeah

hey everyone we're plumbing the death star all right and we've never done this in a live show before but apparently it's a good thing to do before we start has anyone not heard the podcast and before you clap on the count of three i just need you to make one big clap if you haven't heard it. So I'll count down from three. Three, two, one. Not too many. A couple are smattering.

Dragged by mates. Yeah, good. You're in the front row. You're in the splash, though. Oh, wait, you haven't. You're a brave man. I just assumed it was you because you're the one drinking. Sensible.

He's listened before. Alright, should we explain? Nah, there'll be people. If it was a lot of people, yeah. But you guys will pick it up. Fuck. Raise your hand if you have any questions. The front row have made a terrible mistake today. You're very if you have any questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll just be good.

The front row have made a terrible mistake today. You're very easy to see for us. Hey, everyone, and welcome to a very special live edition of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, which fictional universe would be the best to live in? Again, again, again. Again, again, again, again. Again, again, again. Dr. Doolittle!

Well, Jackson, you fucked us because we've got guests today. So as a team, we needed to pick one. Yeah. We were not prepared for Dr. Doolittle. We didn't discuss this. All right, well, there go my notes. Dr. Doolittle is good because all the animals are talking amongst themselves. Yeah.

But I'm not Dr. Doolittle, so I don't have to hear it. So your ideal world, your ideal fictional universe, the world you want to live in is just one where you know animals are organized, but you can't tell what they're doing. Picture this. You're in front of a fish tank. Done. You're looking at the fish. Yep. You're like, they're getting their shit done. I'm getting my shit done carrying your day, but you don't have to hear the fish be like,

oh, my fish, whatever. Or like, I'm trapped in a cage because the animals in Doctor Dolittle have a human level intelligence. Free me. Do you know that they can speak? Or are you just living that world being like, there's a guy somewhere, I think he's in the States, keeps talking about chimps talking to him or something?

Maybe I saw a documentary and Dr. Doodle was like, I can talk to animals. I'm like, it's cool that animals can talk. And then I moved on with my life. That's the kind of reality. I watch half a documentary and I'm like, sick, my dog knows

what's going on but can't tell me. Is there going to be a moment when you're sitting down to like a cheeseburger and you're like, hmm.

Yeah. There's going to be a moment where you got the hmm wrong. I'm going to be like, hmm. Huh. Oh, no,

no, no, no. Delicious. Oh. I'll look in a field of cows and be like, huh.

And then later eat a steak or whatever. I mean, now that we know that all the animals have got their shit together, surely they're going to be mad at us. They're not mad at me. And they can't communicate it to me. I've always wondered, every animal can talk to Dr. Doodle, right? Yep. But can the animals talk to each other?

Because they shouldn't. That is true. He's a wizard, yeah? He's some kind of magic man that he can understand all animal languages. I think the implications are that the animals are talking the same animal language. But you look at a dog, you're like, dog, talk.

He's like, woof, cat, talk, meow. That's different. But to each other... Fuck. I know. He's changed the game. Or are they just using Dr. Doodle as a conduit, like a medium between... Can you tell the cat I'm very mad that they're stealing my food? Because in Dr. Doodle 1, there's a drunk monkey.

It's an alcoholic circus monkey. I think there's a horse and there's a dog. So does that mean the monkey's following around the dog's like, hey, Dr. Doodle, what's happening? Dr. Doodle's going to be like, is it cool if I tell the dog you're an alcoholic? The monkey's going to be like, yeah, I guess. Okay, so the monkey's an alcoholic.

Like, boring movie. But it makes more sense. It does. It does. And also if the animals are talking, why, like you say, cows are getting slaughtered. Yeah. Why are the cows not going to the dogs?

I'd be like, is he in this shit? Or just one cow go to one bear and be like, oi bear, come over, protect us please. Man, I was talking, speaking of eating cows, I was talking to my brother and my brother was like, the reason we don't eat dogs is that we bred them for companionship. He's like, the reason we shouldn't eat dogs.

And I was like, what if we bred like a meat dog and he was like, we still shouldn't eat it. That's fucked. He's like, the reason we shouldn't eat dogs. And I was like, what if we bred a meat dog? And he was like, we still shouldn't eat it. That's fucked. He's like, we can eat cows because we bred them to eat. I'm like, if we bred a dog to eat, we should be allowed to eat that dog. I like that in a world that's getting more progressive, you are just like, fuck

that. How can I make it worse? Alright, so you're there. You're like, Dr. Doodle is there. You got this new meat dog. Yep. And you're like, hey, can you tell him that this is Lord in Life? I'm gonna be like, Dr. Doodle, my brother thinks I can't eat dog and I want to prove him wrong. I bred this dog specifically to eat. Tell him that that's what his job, alright? Aside from the fact that it is a Marvel I bred a dog by myself.

What did you, how are you making a meat dog? You just get the meatiest dogs and make them fart, Sean. So not a cow and a dog. No, no, no. But that doesn't make any sense, Dusha. Fuck, you're right. Your two meaty dogs theory makes so much sense. Who am I to bring genetics into it?

All right. Eugenics? Something. Yeah. Science. Genetics, science. Well, you kind of want a good chunky dog. So what's your chunkiest dog? Maybe you want to breed it with a sausage dog because then it's long. That. Science. Genetics, science. Well, you kind of want a good chunky dog, so what's your chunkiest dog?

Maybe you want to breed it with a sausage dog, because then it's long as well. You need a long dog and a medium dog. You need a big, long dog. What's that mean? Like a Dalsation, but like a sausage dog. Dalsation? Dalsation.

Alsation. Dogs can get fat. You know that, yeah. Yeah, I know, but if I get, say, a Jack Russell fat, he's still the size of a big rat. Yeah. But if I get an Alsation fat, that's the size of like a big rat. Yeah. But if I get an Alsatian fat, that's the size of a small Shetland pony. I might go bulldog,

sausage dog over the course of ten years, get a really long meaty dog, cook and eat. That sounds good. Dog to do a little. Anyway. Yeah. So your dream to breed meaty dogs. Aside. No, no, no, no, no. This is relevant.

Oh, good. Your ideal fictional universe is where you know that animals that have sentience. Yeah. And in this world, like the current non-fictional one, you're like, I want a meat dog. Yeah. It seems like these two dreams don't mix. Oh, God. What you can do, Dusha, is you can then go to all the dogs and be like, hey, you want to breed this?

Would you like to be a meat dog? The cows, look how good the cows have it. Don't you want their life? Their brief, delicious life. This is scary because you also said you can't communicate with them. Yeah. So now you can? No, I just know they can hear me.

Just be like, I'mma eat you. I'mma eat, well not you, your offspring, your like progeny. All the way down the line. This is a bad sentence because it's like, hey, can you fuck that dog? Yeah. I'm gonna eat your kids. Yeah. Anyway, this wasn't even relevant to Dr. Doolittle, it was just something

I thought, just something I wanted to bring up and I had a context for it. Alright. We gave you a microphone and that was our mistake. Absolutely. Are they saying there's problems now because you kind of... Are we believing Doc Little? Because this is the kind of whole point of this universe.

Because if Doc Little is to believe, they're like, oh shit, not only can animals speak, but they have human level intelligence. That's a bit of a game changer. Absolutely, it is. But it's just one crazy man. So like, let's eat a burger. Yeah, change the channel, whatever. But also, yeah, it doesn't matter because we

know, because we have seen Dr. Doodle in that fictional universe, they can talk. Dr. Doodle isn't crazy. So if Jackson's picking that, it doesn't matter if you believe him or not, animals are talking. Yeah, yeah, I know. Is that good or bad? Jackson says it's perfect. It doesn't change much for us.

Imagine if you had Doctor Doodle powers. Aside from eating the meaty dogs or whatever. Imagine how many times with your pets have you been like, what the fuck do you want? Imagine being able to ask them, what the fuck do you want? Your dog's barking outside. Imagine Melody, the studio dog, likes to bark at a possum out the back of the house

and it gives a fucking grief. Imagine if you could be like, Melody! She's learned to open the door now. You're not going to get the possum! Move on with your life! Sometimes she looks back at me like I'm failing her as a dad because I'm not getting the possum. And it stresses me.

She's like, it's there! And I'm like, I know. And she's like, yeah, calm down. She's like, get it! And I'm like, I can't. Why? It's very funny that in a Doctor Do A Little World, as I'm editing or whatever, I just hear that argument. I'm not going to get the possum. Get the

fucking possum, Dad. Dad, the fucking possum's right there. I know. And the possum's going to chip in like, you can't catch me. That's going to make you want to get the possum more because it's a smug piece of shit. It is. It'll be like,

Melody, give me my gun. The possum being like, You can't catch me, cunt. And you're like, I'm going to fucking get you now, possum. Hold my jacket. Stay coming up the tree. Stay the fuck out of this, possum.

So I guess one of the benefits of the Dr. Judo universe is you can fight animals because you know which ones deserve it. Yeah. What if you go along, you're having a walk, and you're in a farm area, and a cow is like,

you're a piece of shit. And you're like... I did fall! It was bound to happen eventually. You predicted it at the start, too. You're a psychic. Oh, man, crazy. How'd that happen?

Science. I don't know, but I like that you pretty much stayed sitting down as you fell. That was good for me. Oh man, crazy. How'd that happen? Science. I don't know, but I like that you pretty much stayed sitting down as you fell. That was good for me. And also, caught on two cameras. Sick.

This is good for me. Can we talk about the cow and Samet situation that's just picking a fight? Let's ignore this shit. It happened. Move on. It's just funny that Samet's

walking along and the cow's like, I'm going to fight that guy. Hey, fuck you. What? From the cow's perspective, I'm an easy target. guy. Hey, fuck you. What? From the cow's perspective, I'm an easy target. I'm a doughy human. What can I do? I'm like, well, I'm going to come over there and punch you in the face

and he's going to charge me. Yeah, absolutely. But then I'm going to get a headlock. It'll be good. He'll trample me. I'm dead. But I'll get one good swing. Also, if a cow's like, hey, fuck you, you're like,

I'm going to eat you eventually. Whatever. So you're going to pick up your chair? I don't want to stand like a pleb. Yeah, no, fair. You're going to eat you eventually. Whatever. So. You're going to pick up your chair. I don't want to stand like a pleb. Yeah, no, fair. You're going to. Oh, God. That's good.

I see the problem. Oh, my God. Please be more careful. You're going to fall again and die. Oh, my God. I'm just tempting fate here. We've got insurance, yeah? Yeah.

You've already moved the chair. Look, look, look, look, look. I'm going to move a little bit to the side. Look. All right. No, we're not. We're not being safe. It's fine, it's fine. The reflex is like a cat apparently.

No, you pretty much just stayed like this. But your chair fell and you just managed to hit the end of the stage. It was good. It was funny to watch. Also a bit frightening. It was. I'm going to crack my head on stage. Yeah.

This is good. That is your legacy. There was a moment where I'm like, I'm just going to tell head on stage. Yeah. This is good. That is your legacy. There was a moment where I'm like, I'm just going to tell this to be examined, it's dead, go home. If anyone has tickets to next week's show, we'll bring someone else in, I guess. Show must go on, guys.

Speaking of other people, I feel like we've probably discussed Dr. Doodle enough to know that it is the perfect fictional universe to live in. Get to go in a consensual fight with a cow. Yeah. Actually, that's a good point. Consensual fights.

Oh, I can punch a roo in the face. Exactly. And the roo can be like, it's on. And I'll be like, yes. Don't use your legs. Only use your paws. Don't fight dirty. You're driving along, kangaroos hopping in front of your headlights,

not getting out of the way. And you're like, get out of the way. He's like, what? I don't get it. What do you want from me, man? What? I'll be right. Hold my jacket.

All right. So, consensual fights. Best fictional All right. So, Consensual Fights. Best fictional universe to live in. Consensual Fights. Yeah. Let's bring out the first guest of today, Martin Dunlop. Woo! Woo!

Hey, guys. Hello, everyone. Hi. Thank you. Oh, man. Trace. Very important. If you want, just give it to the

crowd as close as I can to the microphone yeah yeah slap noises I was really sad when you handed your drink over

I didn't get a drink yeah of course man oh my god that was done with such grace and skill we can't actually see what's going

on out here so we just heard a sound like someone trying to break through the floorboard, and you guys howling with laughter. So, yeah. Now that you're on the stage, you can see how small it is. Guess what happened?

Yeah, I have a guess. Guess who had a fall? Let's stand and sit trepidatiously on top of these incredibly high stools. Yes. So, Mon, I don't know if you heard all this backstage, but we picked Dr. Doolittle

because we can have consensual animal fights. Yep. Oh, fights. Yeah. Cool. Okay. We can communicate with animals

and then decide that we can fight them. If a dog says, let's fight, and you say yes in a court of law, you can rumble. If you've killed that dog,

no jury alive would convince you no this was real hard because you guys asked so we get told the questions in advance and like it was real hard like which fictional universe do you want to live in and like all I could think was

something as far from the current universe as possible because this one fucking sucks like this universe is not good. I was talking about it with my girlfriend. I was trying to think of a fictional universe and the first one I came up with was Logan's Run from the 70s because I don't know if you don't know Logan's Run.

It's a place where they kill you when you turn 30. Oh, sweet release. I'd be dead. You'd be dead. I'm 31 years old. I'd already dead. You'd be dead. I'm 31. I'm 31 years old. I'd already be fucking dead, man. It's perfect.

I would love it. Thank you, yes. All the problems we're currently having now, all those old fucks dead. Yeah. Yeah, we combine it with Soylent Green. We eat them. Absolutely.

Please. In my mouth. But yeah, fundamentally I settled on, because it's as far as I could get. I knew I wanted a children's show, because drama and conflict upset me, and literally every adult show tends to have those things. And so I've ended up with,

has anyone here seen Baba? You're all 12. Has anyone? Baba the Elephant? Yay! Everybody knows Baba! Well, you're the one guy. It's a lovely show.

It's about this elephant who's king of an elephant country in Africa. And there's a monkey that works for him or doesn't? He works in a cafe. He's friends with him. And they just have sort of low stakes adventures. They travel. Okay, look, there's a little bit of conflict and then there's like an EDR min

rhinoceros living a country over. But he never does anything as bad and usually his wife's just yelling at him. And it's great. Now, I will I know I should be fighting as hard because apparently

this is competitive I need to make it like the best universe so like the problem is is the genesis of Baba is that it was a racist

analogy yeah it's a racist analogy Baba doesn't have the greatest origin it's no good it was so the original story of Baba and this isn't mentioned

in the cartoon because kids don't need to know this but like so Baba is an elephant in a tribe of other elephants Original story of Babar, and this isn't mentioned in the cartoon, because kids don't need to know this, but, like, so Babar is an elephant in a tribe of other elephants, and one day the old king eats poison mushrooms and dies, because that's how you know it's a children's story.

It has to start with a death. Every famous children's story is like, dark shit, don't worry about that. Now happens. And then his mother's shot by poachers. Oh, my God. Don't worry about that. Nell happens. And then his mother's shot by poachers. Oh, my God. Don't poach royalty. Some of them have darker shit than others, I guess. Yeah.

And they take him away to France, the poachers, to entertain people. Yeah. But then this is where it gets real fucked. Okay. So an old lady looks after Babar, and she teaches him how to walk on two legs and wear clothes. Then he goes back to Africa, teaches all the other elephants how to walk on two legs and wear clothes, and then rule a country that looks a lot like France.

So a bit of colonialism problems. But the perfect universe. But what? That shit in the park. That's the thing. The children's TV show, Babar, is just a lovely place and everything's fine. And that's why I want to live there. Also, Martin, I just want to

kind of know, because that horrible backstory happens in our universe. Oh, that's true. So the bad shit's on. Well, not us, personally. We didn't do that. All right, John Howard. That's the worst thing you've ever called me. And you've called me mean things before.

I have. To look a good friend in the eye and say, all right, John Howard, you know what? You're a fuck. Right now you can just push me? Get out of here! Before I was happy that you didn't crack your head open, now I'm a bit cut.

Look, fair. I think the biggest problem with Baba, I don't know how you pronounce it. I was like, Baba. Baba, like the son of a HBO. Baba. I think they're rugrats. Because there are people in that world, yeah?

Yeah, they are. So imagine just being like, you turn on the news and you're like, an elephant became a king. You know what this brings credence to? Consensual elephant fights. Consensual elephant wars.'s consensual elephant wars But what I do like is that

Because he's a king yeah And he's chatting with his monkey mate Who runs a cafe or works in a cafe I mean that's just lovely Like the upper class Just you know dealing with you know Yeah there's clearly no low workers It's kind of nice

Definitely the elephants are the I tried Yes mom You know when you don't want to say the words Master Racer They're in charge okay They're in charge Well like look

The elephants are much bigger than everyone else It's not like they're putting them in you know That's why the rhinos don't want to fuck with them Yeah because a rhino is not as big as an elephant. In many ways, I wish our society was run on who's the tallest, you know?

You know your place there. Yeah, I always think that if I had to have a king, I'd want that king to be fucking jacked. Oh, I know. Because I'd like to look at the king and be like,

he could kill me with his fists. Exactly. So I'll be subservient, that's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes sense. I don't want no old motherfucker being like

this is how I want to run the world I want a young guy and he's just going to be like I will cuck you if I need to yeah you would if I look at like you know royalty and I think I could fight them like Queen Elizabeth oh yeah easy

consensual queen fights if I got into that throne room And I think if I was quick enough I could Bam! She's done, I'm queen now Hey Prince Philip He'd drop like a sack of shit You're my son now

Alright, yeah, mum Madam, alright Good Are you keeping the title Queen Elizabeth II? Absolutely. Then in brackets, Jackson. That's how I'd rule. Now I just keep thinking that you're going to get

cucked by Queen Elizabeth II. Queen Elizabeth fucked my wife. I got queen cucked, I guess. Oh, imagine. Amazing. I'm trying to remember The other characters In Bala He's got two kids He's got three kids He's got Flora

Alexander And the other one But they're the youngest So they're not like Why do you not remember The other one Is he just not As worthwhile

As the rest No no It makes sense It's like Plum in the Dust There's three of us There's Zama, Dusha And the other one Yeah

No that's fair That's fair There's Pompadour Who's like his Eleg elegant French regency personal assistant who walks around, who's like, he's very camp and everything and that's all fine. He does have a little boy who follows him around.

Someone did not like that. Best fictional universe. That one there. It's just great that you clearly looked at the structure of it and you're like, bah, bah, done, good. Then you get to the stage

and you're like, oh, God. The deeper I investigate, the worse it gets. So have the elephants lost their culture? Yeah, like, is there no...

As tribal elephants, yeah, there's no part where they go to an elephant graveyard or some shit like that. It's like, no, no, no, you are French people now. You will live as the French do. It's very funny. But?

Yeah. French bakeries. French patisseries. That's pretty good. That must be what the monkey runs. Yeah. Like when you go to Vietnam and all the French shops are great. Oh, God.

I was going to say. There's a monkey in Vietnam. to Vietnam and all the bread shops are great. Oh god. I was going to say there's some ugly Vietnamese. There's nothing good about Baba. Oh boy. I keep imagining Baba dying the way elephants die. You ever seen an elephant get trapped? Okay, wait.

Before you explain this. Elephants die. Quickly, one clap. Who's this. You know elephants die. So, all right. Quickly, one clap. Who's seen an elephant die? Oh, what a fucking surprise. That's such a relatable sentence. Oh, look at the fucking hoity-toity over here.

Think they're too good for dead elephants. It is sounding like maybe you caused it. You know when you're at home and you're on YouTube and you search for elephant poaching? You're like, dead, dot, dot, elephants. No, I meant, you ever seen an elephant drown in mud? Sometimes it happens on nature docos. The elephant falls in the mud, it can't get out.

Oh, wait, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not an idiot. Yeah, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yep, yep. I'm with you. So I might just swap sides. No, look, you want to take this one?

It's rickety. There's a danger. No. Safety. Anyway, I just thought it was funny to imagine Bob on like a regal walk And he takes the wrong step Falls in mud and drowns

And they're like, that's nature Does Baba have a little bird That like picks at his goo or whatever? You know like He does have an old war veteran uncle Who hangs around the palace Who like I guess could do that for him when we're not watching.

Uncle Cornelius, come. Pick at the scabs. Clean my trunk. Elephants get those big birds on their back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think they're big birds. They're like an ostrich. Like a big thing, yellow, feathers, quite tall.

Not like Big Bird. Big Bird's not... Oh, I get it now. Did you know Big Bird is a golden eagle? For real? In one of the Sesame Street episodes, they're like, what kind of bird are you?

He's like, golden eagle. Huh. I'm mad the person who asked was like, that's clearly not true. Is there a bird's nest somewhere that's made entirely from dried elephant skin? Like, just this crusty bowl. That is

heinous to a man. Seeing this from an audience point of view, I don't like it. Why did you buy tickets? It's just nonsense. Get back on stage. Take Sam its rickety chair. How many people are going to fall off this stage today?

My money's on two. If we keep rotating, all of us. people are going to fall off this stage today? My money's on two. If we keep rotating, all of us. I'm going to be clever and move the stool. Oh, look, I'm nowhere near the edge now. Who knew? Anyway. Well, now I feel cramped. Yeah, it's not great.

So, colonialism aside, Barbar's pretty good. Yeah. What's a typical Barbar adventure? It'll be like, they're going to have a race with the Rhino Kingdom and then the Rhino tries to cheat and then they win anyway.

Typical Rhino. It's pretty low, you know, no one's going to get killed. They have lots of flashback episodes where it's like, Barbar is a kid having adventures

with his friends but not like... Is that before he went to... Before the trauma? He's wearing a suit, so it's after. Okay, so in this universe, you have a period of trauma. Yeah.

Then, like, a better country comes in and just, like, helps you out. Yeah. And then you have, like, what, several decades of just sweet golden times. Yeah. And then, assuming when you get old and then poachers get you, your kids will then go to another old and then poachers get you, your kids will then go to another country and then adopt their culture.

Hey, you know, Bob, I was pretty good for poachers, actually, if you think about it. Because you have, like, an entire civilization of many elephants, so they're no longer, like, an endangered species.

That's true. So you just poach away. Yeah. I was just thinking I'd live in the animal kingdom and would have banana milkshakes at the cafe and it was fine. But no, no, no.

They're all fucking dying or pedophiles. It's a poacher's paradise. Welcome to Plumbing the Nest. Everyone lining up. Where are we going? Bar, bars, can we get my gun? And I'm like, pithat. I said Celestville.

I wasn't going to be like, oh, imagine the ivory. But imagine the ivory. A fountain piano. As far as the eye can see. I can finally have an ivory piano I've always wanted. And you've got to get in quick, because elephants, the more they get poached, like if they don't use their tusks,

they get smaller and smaller and go. And Baba's no longer needing to fight for supremacy. His tusks are disappearing. You've got to poach quick like, supremacy. His tusks are disappearing. You gotta poach quick! Little nubby little tusks. Oh my god, getting what you're getting's good. I'd just like to, just in conclusion, we've pitched

two fictional universes. One, Consensual Animal Fights. One, Animal Genocide. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Poaching. Just like if you hunted the occasional human being. For their teeth. Yeah. Best fictional universe.

Hey! Now let's have our next guest. All right. So what we're going to do is we're going to try and fit a fifth person on stage. What if I just get off? No. Don't be silly, Jackson. Again, with four of us on stage, someone has fallen off. Yeah, fair.

Which, again, funny. Scoot over a bit. Scoot over. I'll let. Yeah, fair. Which, again, funny. Scoot over a bit. Scoot over. I'll let her have my seat. She can stand. The winner can sit. All right. So, wait.

Do we have a fifth? Yeah, we do. We got a fifth microphone and it's on? All right. We'll bring out our next guest, Claire Sullivan. Woo!

Woo! Woo! You got a banana. That's the best. Yeah! Yes! Woo! Woo! You got a banana! That's the best! Yeah! Yes! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Oh, God! That was the most exciting entrance I've ever seen. Oh, my God! It's alright, I'm here! My heart nearly stopped. You nearly fell and died. It's all right. I was torn the other day and I didn't die, so, you know.

Here we are. I've got luck on my side. Are you going to hand your banana to someone in the audience? Like, everybody who comes on has something, hands it in. Do you want my banana? Fuck, there's a regret in that boy's face. No, I'm good. Yeah, look, it's a regret in that boy's face. No, I'm good.

I'm going to slowly eat this banana, but not into the microphone. The end is quite juicy. Yeah, that's kind of gross. Anywho. This is wildly unpleasant. Fuck bananas are nasty. Yeah, especially like that bit there. Yeah, look at this bruise. Yuck.

Bananas suck. Looks like a wart. Bananas are nasty. Yeah, especially like that bit there. Yeah, look at this bruise. Yuck. Bananas suck. Looks like a wart. Anywho, best fictional universe to live in. Okay, okay, okay. So, I've had a long think about this. Oh, no. Just hand that to an audience member. Yeah, your banana fell.

That was the greatest tragedy I've ever seen. No! No! On a scale of one to ten, how hairy was that banana? Oh, it's a little bit hairy. But you know what they say, what doesn't kill you may kill you in other ways. Like falling off the stage. Okay, so what I want to

live in, the universe that I want to live in is 80s horror film universe. Okay. Alright. So like your Camp Chris, what do you call that one? Friday the 13th. Friday vs Jason.

Saturday the 14th. So what better time to celebrate Friday the 13th. Exactly. Friday versus Jason. No, it's Saturday the 14th. So what better time to celebrate Friday the 13th? Yeah, exactly. It's a one-day anniversary. Yeah. Never forget. Yeah. R.I.P. So I look at an 80s horror universe and that's scary for me.

What's good about that? It's good. I mean, you've already got the outfit. That's true. And also, you just need to stay away from drugs, stay away from alcohol, don't have sex, don't kiss, keep your clothes on at all times, and you'll be fine. Exactly.

No holidays either. Avoid cabins in the woods. You're just reading the rules from Cabin in the Woods. Scream. Oh, yes, scream. I had screams. But that's 90s. That's 90s.

You don't need to have a favourite scary movie. You'll be fine. The safest person to be in an 80s horror movie is the killer. Oh! Okay, yes. Because they always survive. They're always like the shot at the end. You think, oh, no, he's died.

He's gone. And then dun, dun, dun. Yeah. Okay, so this is a thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in a horror, an 80s horror movie, I'd be the killer, right? Yeah, 100%. Absolutely.

I'm not tall enough to be the victim. In the 80s, that's about it. In the 80s, all the victim females were all very, very tall. So you'll be the Queen's birthday dwarf. Yeah, it's fine. You'll be the queen's birthday dwarf. Yeah, exactly. I'd probably end up being one of those weird horror movies like in... Bride of Chucky. Oh, I was actually thinking Ghoulies.

Oh, yeah. Just like a knife out of the toilet, yeah? Yeah, I was thinking of the weird guy who's like, oh, I'm obsessed with this weird ritual. I'd be that person. So you're the person that brings the ghoul. Yeah. In 80s horror films, you can

make a literal deal with a literal devil, yeah? Yeah. Oh, sick. That's great for everyone on this stage, yes. Hell is real? That's pretty cool. Yeah. How cool is that? What's that, Satan? I just gotta kill some ewes and I don't have to go here for a bitch? Sure.

Yeah, the kind of thing of like, you know... Dad, eat the banana. Do you want more? I'm going to eat it up. Just eat the floor banana. That's something, you know, like in a horror movie. Like, say Jason. They kill Jason, he dies.

But he comes back. Yeah. Why is nobody like, how do I do that? Because that would be my thinking. I'd be like, if Jason came back, surely I can. Exactly. Well, Jason's a weird one because he was a victim and then he came back and nobody like, how do I do that? Because that would be my thinking. I'd be like, if Jason came back, surely I can. Exactly. Well, Jason's a weird one because he was a victim and then he came back and was like, I'm a murderer now. That's true.

Is Jason again the mask one? I think so, yeah. Oh, we haven't watched that. Hockey mask. Hockey mask. Martin and I have a horror movie club where we watch horror movies. What really buried the lead there. As in real life, the reason Jason can't die is that he's profitable.

That's why I can't die. Was Ghoulies profitable? There was like four of them. One of them was in space, so of course. Have you seen the second one at the fun park? Not very fun. That's great because if you follow

the classic 80s horror movie trajectory you do end up in space. Yeah. You go in the hood. And then the hood. That's how it goes. Because that's the leprechaun.

It's leprechaun one he's just in a house. Leprechaun two he's in a house again. Leprechaun three I think he's in Hawaii. Leprechaun four he's in space.

Leprechaun five and six he's in the hood. See at one point I get to have a beach party. Exactly. Surrounded by banks. Yeah. It's a brutal truth that, like, Leprechaun got into the hood and then couldn't get out.

Where's Leprechaun? Ah, still in the hood. I guess make Leprechaun 2 still in the hood. He keeps trying, man. Taking up a rap career. Also, I've got ginger hair a guess make Leprechaun 2 still in the hood. He keeps trying, man. Taking up a rap career. Also, I've got ginger hair a bit like Leprechaun. That's true. Really, I'd be everlasting.

Yeah. Bananas. Exactly. Leprechauns are bananas hand in hand. Yep. Yep. Yep. That's true.

Ireland is a tropical island. He's tropical in my mind. So I think it's a pretty good universe because you can make a deal with the devil to live forever and kill kids. I guess that's neat. Kill all those cutty teens.

I'm not tall enough to be a victim. Or handsome enough. No, you're handsome enough. You're handsome enough, absolutely. Zoe yells, she probably disagrees. Rude. And I'm not 80s underwear model enough to be a victim either. Yeah.

See, I think I'm the perfect combination of chubby and adorable. I'm the goofball. They're going to be like, I'm going to get killed in an amusing way. No, you're the goofball everyone thinks is going to be fine, but then you're going to get a head in a spike. Yeah, or death by stereo. Classic death where everyone's

seen The Lost Boys. I might get caught in a garage door though. Yeah, absolutely. But that's not to do with the killer, just my own incompetence. Which one is that?

I think it's Scream again. Scream, 90s. I'm so sorry. Or as McGowan gets cut in half. That's me, but there's just me. There's no killer involved.

Just me being like, oh, fuck. That moment when you're like, oh, I've made such a mistake. Just running around being like, holy shit, the killer got down. No, no. He was trying to get the dog. I'll get the possum boy

and I'll go through the water. And then I go, got. How do you think you'd die in a horror movie? Sandwich press? Who chooses sandwich press? Yeah, sandwich press. I've got one sandwich press through the water. And then I go, God. How do you think you'd die in a horror movie? Sandwich press? Who chooses sandwich press? Yeah, sandwich press. I've got one sandwich press down the front. I like to imagine a big sign that denotes me like an idiot or something.

Like a big neon sign with a cowboy pointing a finger. And it falls and the finger squishes me. That's a good one. Like the... And you're like... Like, this guy's fried or something, and then the thumb lands on my head and I die. Again, that wasn't the killer part.

I might just eat bad food. Jack Samet in his dysentery. I pick a death that happens in Friday the 13th when Jason takes Manhattan. I think it's Friday the 13th. Eight? It's eight. And it's not in Manhattan.

It's on a boat. Is a boat near Manhattan? This death takes place on a rooftop. Ooh, rooftop on a boat in the waters of Manhattan. One of the victims is like, nah, fuck you, Jason. And then just starts beating the shit out of him. And Jason waits until he gets tired from beating the shit out of him too much and then punches his head clean off.

That's how I want to go. Can your head then land in a fisherman's net? And then we change into a horror TV show set in Transylvania. Well, it's been a murder. The fishermen are like, oh no it doesn't matter

there's no Transylvanian way I like investigating that murder because the bigger feel at the end is that a guy got his head punched off yeah like

clean punched off the head comes out with all the fish I can picture it now it's on SBS. With cops in 80s horror movies, they're not going to go that far because their solution to everything,

including finding a corpse flayed alive, their response is always, some kid's messing around. And we need to investigate with a flashlight. No guns! Can I be that? Because I reckon I'd be very good at blaming youths. Just straight away.

But the cops usually try at some... This audience is so young, it's nothing but the victims who make these horror movies. But I feel like if I was like a Jason type and all of you were at a summer camp, I'd be like, I just can't be bothered.

That's so many kids to kill. How long does summer camp last? Like, what, two weeks? It'd be so good. You'd have all these hijinks like, someone climb up the tree and they fall down and they're dead. People are like, ah, it's a prank and they turn out and not. How many times before you're like, I don't

think this is a prank. How high a pile of bodies before you're like, we are getting pranked hard. Yeah. I think if is a prank. How high a pile of bodies before you're like, we are getting pranked hard. Yeah. I think if I was, this kind of like size of the stomach, I might start paying some of the bullies to do my work for me. Oh, well, that's a classic 80s bully.

An 80s bully isn't an 80s bully if they're not prepared to murder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every 80s bully needs a flick, like a flick. Oh, yeah, they stab people for fun. Yeah. What a good bullying. The 80s seems like just that one period of time where everyone was like, bullies are psychopaths to a T.

Exactly. I'm going to push you off this cliff. Every bully is Biff Tannen from Back to the Future. It's Biff with a switch knife. Yeah. It is. Does anyone here an 80s bully? Hands up. Who's got a switch knife? We is. Is anyone here an 80s bully? Hands up.

Who's got switch knives? We're going off the back. We've got a couple of 80s bullies. There's a bully. I'm going to get away. There's a dummy. Fucking run.

My favourite 80s bully scene is in Footloose when there is a tractor drag race. Oh, yeah. No. And they play chicken with tractors, don't they?

Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. That is a slow game of chicken with no steaks. There's no dancing in that scene either. That's just two tractors slowly ambling towards each other and then they just touch noses and everyone gets out like, well, we did it. That sucked. You didn't

move. You're one of the gang. Terrible. There's a lot of fun people in that though. And also, if it's really slow, that would be very boring to watch just in general. Absolutely. This banana's very moist on my hand. Finish the banana then. I keep looking down and being like, why did you eat the knob?

Very close to the end of the banana. Finish the knob, it's killing me. Thank you. While you chew that nana. Alright, so there's definitely no room for a third guest on here. But we do have a third guest to bring out, so what we're going to do is we're going to vote which of these fictional universes is your favourite. I like this guy's like, my life.

I can't choose. Why don't I get a room? Hey, and if I get voted off, you'll kill me? Absolutely. You'll kill me too. Oh, God. You'll get killed through the door, the garage door. So, on the count of three, one clap, singular clap.

Oh, shit. I know. I've got a banana. It's Baba V. 80s Horror, okay? So we got good for poaching or good for deals with devils. Yep. Deals with devils. Killing kids or killing elephants?

All right. Killing kids. All right. So on the count of three, I'm going to count down from three, because if I go one, two, three, Zam, it gets very upset. It does something to my lizard brain. That's counting up from three. Yeah, see?

No, it isn't. Wait, what? And this is voting for killing elephants? Yeah, okay. Okay. Killing elephants first. Three, two, one. All right.

Now killing kids. Three, two, one. All right. Now killing kids. Three, two, one. I think the elephants have it. It sounds like they hate both of them. There was a large amount of people in the back like, fuck this. People are going to die. I think elephants have it. I'm so sorry, Cliff.

Thank you so much for coming on. Yes. Your time but was brief, like eating a banana. On her way out, Claire handed me her skin. Don't explain that for the podcast. Give it to the audience. Throw it into the audience like a sweaty T-shirt. Woo!

All right, and now we're going to bring out our final guest, Reece Nicholson. Woo! Woo! Woo! Oh, hi, guys. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hi. We've got to find the bully.

I just realized, like... Down there, that one there. If there is a bully here, never has there been a fish in a barrel type of crush. Than this type of, like... Oh, yeah yeah it's like shooting a bunch of nerds

in a pub um I'm one of them I'm one of them uh or maybe I'm

a bully I don't know that's the thing about gays you never know we could we seem like we're being nice

but we're being awful and I've been watching was the reference to the cowboy crushing thing is that a reference

to Honey I Blew Up the Kid? Possibly. That is a movie I love. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Where he goes to Vegas? Okay, cool. You're not verbally knowing what I'm talking about. Just a bunch of people nodding their heads for the audio medium.

Thank you. Does the cowboy kill the big baby? Yes, that's exactly what happens in that movie. It's a deleted scene. The big thumb into the baby's skull. Well, baby's skulls are soft. It's like how they had to change the ending of Little Shop of Horrors because it was too

horror-like. Oh, should we kill the giant baby or return him back to his family where Rick Moranis, his wife has just died. Kill the baby, I think. Rick Moranis, it's funny to imagine a world where Rick Moranis, every single movie he's in, has a very dark ending. He's like, no, guys, no, stop!

He kept just trying to improvise it into the shoot. Turn on the cameras, guys. I've got an idea. You know, Rick Moranis is one of those people, you know, you see clickbait that comes past your Facebook, and there's kind of like, where are they now type situations, but sometimes they word them in a way that are like, what the fuck happened to Rick Moranis? And then you click on it, and you're like,

oh, he's had a harrowing last 10 years. Why did I click on this? I read one about Brendan Fraser recently. Oh, that poor boy. His face got fucked, I think. Is that what happened? I don't know. Reece, I think you might be the bully.

Shut the fuck up, dweeb. I'm clearly a bad bully for being dweeb. Clearly a bad belief. I'm like, dweeb. Look out, 1982. My favourite clickbait article ever was one that said, this supplement is turning men into beasts. I was like, that is the most... Are they becoming werewolves? What is this?

It's called Weapon X. So, yes Fictional universe, best one you can think of So I've Look, I've thought of two And I guess I'll kind of narrow them down The first one is Murder, She Wrote, Magnum PR

Yes! Uh-huh! Absolutely! Because there's a couple crossover episodes Is it a universe where Kind of anything seems to be? If you're an old woman holding a book, you can touch a crime scene. She's constantly just wandering onto crime scenes anytime she wants. She's like, hello, I'm Jessica Fletcher. And they go, sure.

You want to touch the body for a while? We'll leave you on. And yeah, Magna PR, the same thing. If you can wear short shorts and have a weird mustache, you can do whatever you want. Live in Hawaii. Solve some crimes. The second idea is I want to, in the CBS, the nanny, Everybody Loves Raymond, and the King of Queens are all in the same universe.

Everybody Loves Raymond and Friend Fine went to the same school together. I'm excited to try and defend Everybody Loves Raymond. I do like living in a universe where I'm like, hey, cops, what's that? Here's the look. Letting dead body, Let me touch it. And they'll be like, excuse me.

You're on Tuesday, right? But are you a nan or an 80s I'll hold a book. I don't think it's a book. I think you have to be a nan. I'll wear short shorts. She keeps fit. She's always riding a bike around. What I love, have people watched Murder Shoot? You all seem unemployed.

That and Jerry Springer. She always, for the first few seasons, because I've watched a lot of Murder, she wrote, it's one of my, it's like probably, not even a guilty pleasure,

it's just my pleasure. And she, the first few seasons are just her in Catacove and it's one of those situations where how many fucking murders are going to happen in this small country town? And they just, her and this one guy and then she became of those situations where how many fucking murders are going to happen in this small country town

and it's just her and this one guy and then she became an executive producer and just went look it's ridiculous we're not leaving and then suddenly

she's on a cruise ship like this is my theory she's always on a cruise ship or somewhere and a murder happens a murder happens like she did those murders like she definitely

absolutely in my mind she did all the fucking murders imagine if that was the like you know how like Roseanne has a very famous finale that's just fucked fucked and then she came back and that's just fucked. Fucked,

and then she came back and it's more fucked. You thought that my husband being dead for a season was fucked? Wait till you have what I saw for you. I'm a Trump supporter.

Don't watch it, it's terrible. Okay. All right, interesting. Mythreading the room. There we go. Huh.

There we go. All right, so nerd shit, Magnum. All right. Twist. I'm so nerd shit, Magnum. Alright. Twist. I'm on board with Magnum PI. Yeah. That's a fun, I mean, it's a tropical paradise.

Are you at all worried about the low survivability factor? Assuming you're not literally Tom Selleck. No. How dare you? No, I think I'd be alright because I would be like the fun guest actor that doesn't die. Do you know what I mean? There's always like some camp guy or some vaguely famous Hollywood star

that hasn't been in anything anymore for a long time and they're always like, well, I wasn't there. I don't know what's going on. The least famous person is always the dead person unless it's flashback episodes. And it's always like Joan Collins is in there for some reason just letting her hair do all the acting and

you're like what's my part and you're like are you the guy who wasn't there I also thought about the CSI universe just because only because Holly Valance played a body once and I just want to be in that world where Holly Valance is no longer living I'm definitely the bully I really like as well where Colin Valance is no longer living.

I'm definitely the bully. I really like as well, because look, none of us on stage are Tom Selleck or a nan, so this is a world where we know a nan can touch a crime scene, and that's enough. Yeah. I want to live in a world where a nan can touch whatever she wants. I'm like, I can't touch a crime scene, that's not for me,

but it's sick that a nan can. And Tom Selleck. Are there porn universes? Yes. I mean, I guess like, you know, Backdoor Sluts 7 must be connected to Backdoor Sluts 4. It's a franchise. Yes. But like, so are there, like, can you...

Anyways. They do an Avengers team up with Jack Off. Yeah. I mean, that's a universe where every sort of job is rewarded with sex. Yeah. There's no currency, only fucking. I guess birth control is really great. And like with Game of Thrones over the last few years,

there's been a creeping in of incest. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I wouldn't call that a creep. Would you call that a creep? It was kind of there. I'd call it an, beat down the door. Have you ever thought about fucking a loved one?

That's in your family? And everyone's like, maybe my sister is attractive. All right. Is it out of fear? Or are we like, yeah, all right, incest, sure. I like cell sex with my mom. It's the first episode where we see incest and the crippling of a tiny boy. I guess I got incest in crippling people.

That's my new thing. Sweet. Do you reckon Game of Thrones would still be popular if people just described it like that? Hey, it's a fantasy series mostly about incest and crippling young boys. A tiny boy. A little boy. Oh, yeah. Stuart Little got little.

The porn universe sucks because no interaction like nowadays I can order a drink. Right? Oh, you are doing well. But in a porn universe, that might lead to fucking. You know what I mean? And you'll be

parched. I can cum five times a day. Oh, you are doing that. Well, la-di-da. Look at you. This boy. Mr. Doing well. Capable of ejaculation. That's right.

But let's be honest. Let's be honest. The first four are fine. The fifth one, it's not cumming. It's just like... But I'm like, I'm capable of that. But I'm wondering, in a day... What's happened to this podcast?

I blame you In a regular day, how many times am I going to be expected to come? You know? I think you'd have to have big You'd have to have big megastores Where you could do one transaction For everything you need At one time, because you'd be like, I know what's happening

Every plumber is also going to be a pizza delivery guy and an astronaut and a cop. If there's no currency as well, how do you know one cum could be worth $2 and another one's $50? If you go to a $2 shop and you need to buy things

more than $2, are you going to just do a bunch of tiny $2 cums? If I want a cheeseburger, do I... Is that a simple handy? Yeah. Or if I want a cheeseburger and a Coke, I've got to suck a dick. Alright, now you're talking my language. I suspect that's how it would go, though.

Not to hammer a theme, but it's probably divided along racial... My name is Ray. Not to hammer a theme, but it is probably divide along racial divides, like actual currency. Like in Germany, one cum is worth $5. But in Japan, 50 cents.

Let's just be careful when you say racial divide in Germany in the same sentence. I know, it was funny that Germany was the first. We don't need any more chitchat about that anymore. That's my least favourite universe to live in, I think. It is this one. Imagine going to a country with a bad conversion rate. I've got to come so much.

Marko might need to come once, not going to come ten times. You go there being like, oh, I'd love a coffee, and suddenly you're jerking off ten dicks. God damn it! I just wanted a coffee! You're doing it in Switzerland,

and they're like... Barley would be a lot less popular, I think. So many rupiah. Oh, what a nightmare. How much for that singlet? All right. And you'd have to go to the airport, and there'd be some, like,

Cummelex company And you'd have to go to the airport and there'd be some like Cummelex company where you've got to hand over your slightly watery cum for some better cum. You're trying to like roll out the cum so it fits into a machine. They're just chugging pineapple juice after pineapple juice. Do you edit this podcast? This one's live, so...

No. No. No. So this isn't being one's live, so... No. No. No. So this isn't being recorded? No, it's recorded. I just think we can't edit it right now. I think we're just going to edit it down to just the com talk. Just com, com.

No, just keep in the Germany stuff. It'll really work. No context either. Or com text. Yes. Bye. I also don't like that in the porn universe Every pizza tastes a little penis-y

Like there's nothing wrong with the taste of penis Whatever But sometimes you just want a pizza That's true Penises are like chicken They taste like everything Alright So

Okay Now everything tastes like penis So as As how delicious penis is aside, we've got to come to a conclusion. Unintentional. So, we have Killin' Elephants or The Cum Universe.

Which would be a terrible place. The worst episode of Sliders in the world. Oh, poor Mallory. They just jumped through like, Quinn Mallory, oh, I'm the version of you, but I'm made out of cum. I mean, in a way, we're all made out of cum. Anyways.

That's true. Stardust and cum. Guys, I hate to break it to you, but we were all our dad's cum at some point. That's true. Even if you don't know your dad. So. You are his cum. Countdown from three.

We've got killing elephants. Just one singular clap. Three, two, one. Oof. That is somehow less than lost. People, come. So, come universe. Three, two, one.

Yeah! Strong. Once again, come with. Now. Finally, something for men in the world. Thank Christ. Look at this line-up. Who says there's no diversity in comedy?

We kicked the one girl off. We voted the woman off and just replaced a slightly womanly man with a similar coloured hair. It's better, I guess. Now, the final showdown between the cum universe and Dr Doodle

slash consensual fighting a dog. So. I got here late. Yes. So. It was a surprise to watch. Consensual fighting animals. Three, two, one.

Cum universe. The cums may have it. Three, two, one. I don't think the cums did have did happen That's sad because I would have voted for that one Same, same None of the choices we've chosen today Three, two, one That's a lot

I think the audience win Alright, finally And on that note I've been Joel I've also been Joel I've been Jackson Alright. Finally. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've also been Joel. I've been Jackson. I'm Joel.

I'm Ray Ziegelson. I'm also Joel. We're all Joel. Yay! And this has been a live Plumbing the Death Star. Thank you all for coming. Thanks to all our guests. We're doing another show next week.

We've still got a few tickets left, so if you want to come along, please go in and buy them. We've got some merch around the corner, so go buy that too. And do you guys have anything to speak? Can I very quickly... I've got comedy festival shows.

Google it, whatever. I also have a podcast that I've started with my fiancée, Karen Wheatley, called The Tuck Shop. It's all about RuPaul's Drag Race. So that's great. And yeah, we have another one called Babe of the Day. So please listen to those. They're great. That's all.

I'm in a show called Popo Moco. Am I... Are you though? My arse plays a vampire. I stick goggly eyes on my butt cheeks. I'd audition for that role of the butt.

You did well. I did. This is just like the porn universe. I've got the best butt in Pomo Moco. We're sold out tonight, but come along another night. Especially Monday. Tray tall. Thank you.

There you go. You're blocking our entrance. Yeah, we've got to go. No, no, no, wait. Martin needs to play. I don't know. Add me as a friend on Facebook. I'm lonely.

Worst fictional universe! This one! Thank you so much for coming, guys. You've all been great, and I'm so sorry. I'm not. You deserved it. You really are the bully. Bully.

Absolutely. Thanks for listening. And if you want to follow us on Twitter, you can find us at Sandspance Radio, or you can find us individually. I'm at Douche13. I'm at OldDogsOfDead. And I'm at GodDammitZammit.

If you want to hear our other shows, you can head to SandspanceRadio.com and you'll find all our other content there. There's heaps. And if you want to support us, head to sanspantsplus.com. Thank you again for listening and we'll see you again next time. Good night for now.

But not forever. Kisses.