Plumbing the Death Star - What Jacket Deserves the Santa Clause Treatment ie If You Killed a Guy Wearing This Jacket and Put the Jacket On, You Got Their Powers (This is a Long Title) Would That be Good?

Episode Date: December 17, 2023

'Tis the season. Tis the season to spend like ten minutes failing to define a jacket and then a further ten minutes arguing over what happens in the Santa Clause. Once that's done we can get to the episode. Zammit becomes a cockney James Bond, Jackson doesn't believe Yogi Bear is his responsibility, and Duscher hates the Bayou. Merry Christmas one and all. Great Jackets.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers. You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. Hey everyone, and first of all, happy holidays. You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. week and this week we're looking at What the fuck is going on? I mean fair enough you. Help him. Me?

And this week we are looking at what jacket deserves the Santa Claus treatment? I.e. if you killed a guy wearing this jacket and put the jacket on you got that powers. This is a long title. Would that be good? Okay, okay.

Awesome. Now, before we start, as it is the holiday season. In the spirit of the season. Merry Christmas. It now feels a bit insulting now that we've both been called buffoons. But I don't want to do it now. Well, I went and I bought you two. Oh!

You shouldn't have. A beautiful gift. So, Jackson, this one is for you. Thank you so much. I hope you enjoy. Yeah, make sure. Okay, so here's the thing. Look, I don't want to break the illusion too much, but there is a camera. Yeah, I know! I'm just fucking

relaxed. Do you reckon the way I'm... Whoa! Now what? This is awesome. I've been looking for this book. It's like a book I've seen in the past. It's about people who die in caves. I know! I saw this and I was like, I know who's gonna love this. The man, I know who's going to love this.

Oh, that rocks. The man, the myth, the legend himself, Jackson Bay. Thank you so much. I know how much you love reading about people who die in caves. I love when a guy dies in a cave or survives from a cave. You love the resurgence of the story of that guy that went fucking ass overhead in that cave and got stuck. Yeah, what do they call it? Nutty Putty?

Yeah, Nutty Putty Cave. I cannot look at that. It gives me so much anxiety. Anyway, man. Whoa! Thank you so much. Whoa, this is they call it? Nutty potty nut? Yeah, nutty potty cave. I cannot look at that. It gives me so much anxiety. Oh, thank you so much. Whoa, this is heavy. Heavy? Oh, my God. Great wrapping paper, too.

Yeah, I know. Something I think is funny is now we get to see everybody's unwrapping technique. This is exciting. What is it? Do you want to see first? No, you got to see first. It's your gift. Yes!

Whoa, that's special. So Huey Hewison, probably the best TV chef of all time. Certainly in our humble opinion. Made famous for just cooking outside and hanging out. He was also in a 1970s psych rock band. He always gets emails when he opened emails to his show. People yelling at him that he doesn't cook his steak long enough. They said, why do you eat your steak still, Moo?

And he's like, leave me alone. He also sometimes fucks up his meal and then eats it and is honest about it. Being like, mmm. That's a thick cookbook, too. Yeah, it's his all-time time favourite he's got a lot of them no fair enough well also in the spirit of the season I got you guys something as well

you might have it already I don't know you do love it I know you're a huge fan alright you go first so there's a chance they already possess this I don't know

but it's one of their favourite things in the world so oh I don't have this you don't have it? Oh, well that's fantastic, because I know how much you both love. Umami's interface.

You both love it. You've told me how much you love it. You're both huge fans of it. Such big fans, we love. Because like I've read. Massive fans of it. Because it's a comic, not a small DVD. Well no, it's a comic not a small DVD well no

it's a small DVD of the series interface which you love I love I love just all the adventures on the USS Eldridge

yeah because you know it's now it's 1943 that year that it takes place in yeah love that

I'm so glad thanks I love I love the Thomas the Tank engine face looking motherfucker yeah he's my favorite guy yeah of course from your favorite series interface yeah I'm so glad. I love the Thomas the Tank engine face-looking motherfucker.

Yeah, he's my favorite guy. Yeah, of course. From your favorite series interface. Thank you so much. I'm so happy to have all 118 minutes in color on DVD. Yeah, you're welcome. Merry Christmas. Thank you so much. This is beautiful.

I've been looking for it for ages. Well, that's what I thought. Canada's own export interface this one is for you Joel Zammett to thank you for your hard work this year I do need this after a long day year of work

a beautiful Pinot Noir Pinot Noir when it comes to red wine some people aren't big red wine drinkers but a Pinot Noir it's's like in the middle, basically. Yeah, nice. Beautiful. It goes with a lot of things. It's light, it's breezy.

And Jackson, obviously, I got you something you'd love to drink. It's your favorite drink. Water from a bathroom tap. That is my favorite thing to drink. It's the best place from where the water comes from. Yeah, I tried to get you water from the hose, but unfortunately I couldn't find any. No, that's okay.

I'm really, thank you so much for water from the bathroom tap. You do love it. It's the best place to drink water from. It's tasty. According to you. I'll put that next to my bed, right? And then I don't need to get up in the middle of the night to go drink from the bathroom tap.

It's like you've brought the bathroom tap to me. Yeah! I'm just so glad you like it. Thank you so much. Merry Christmas, guys. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Now.

Okay. What constitutes a jacket? Great question. What is a jacket? Now is, yeah. Well, I was going to say, is it a jacket? Like, do you have to put your arms in it? But that's a t-shirt.

Good question. No, but you only put half your arms in a t-shirt. As exhibit A. However. You put your full arms. However. arms in a t-shirt. As exhibit A. However, a long sleeve t-shirt. Full arms. But open at the front? Does it have to open at the front? Well, I have a beautiful flannelette shirt.

Yeah, I got a shirt on. If I open it at the front, would that be a jacket? I don't think so. But flannel, you could get flannel jackets. But you can also wear a shirt sometimes as a jacket if you have, say, like a singlet underneath. That's true. I have a very baggy shirt, long-sleeve shirt, that I wore over a jumper once.

Felt crazy to do, but it kind of acted as a jacket. Did any of us comment that that was very fucked up? I don't think anyone noticed. A shirt over a sweater? Yeah, a shirt over a sweater. It was a huge shirt. Okay, okay, okay. You couldn't tell.

That would make me... And then, crazily, this is madness. Yeah. I had a shirt under the sweater. Two shirts? I went t-shirt, shirt, sweater, shirt. No one fucking... Nobody could sort of find me out.

It seemed so hot. It was a cold day. I would fucking hope so. I'm sweating just freaking out. Was it negative 15 outside? It worked. Were you going for a fucking walk? I snuck it under the radar.

No one could tell. Two button-up shirts. Yeah. Both buttoned up? No. Because it was jacket style. Okay, then does a jacket need to button up? No, because some zip.

Yeah. The jackets I wear often have zips. Yeah, yeah. But does it need to actually, know Because some jackets Are like more Like almost ornamental Yeah Like leave it open They actually can't

That's true I have a jacket like that I think they need to be thick That's not true Or like tough You don't have a thin What's the The thinnest jacket you have

Yeah Should be tougher Than your thickest shirt No Because if you've got a Hang on The thinnest jacket Do the math on that

The thinnest jacket you have Should be tougher Than your thickest shirt But what if you've got a... Hang on, the thinnest jacket... Do the math on that. The thinnest jacket you have should be tougher than your thickest shirt. But what if I got a really thick shirt? Like a thick... Outfit. Think of like a thick flannel shirt and then compare it to like a sporty jacket. Yeah. So I guess it needs to be something that you wear over something else regularly. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. If you're going jacket to bare skin, you should be in jail. That is crazy. That's madness. Uh-oh. Oh, no. That is like porno style, though. That's true.

Open jacket, nothing underneath. If you're going porno core, if that's your style. Which it's allowed to be your style. You can do it. You can go porno core if you want. Or like if you're at the you wouldn't do it at the beach. You might do it at the beach if someone

stole your shirt. If someone stole your shirt, you're allowed to go jacket and no shirt. Nothing underneath. Jacket on bare skin. If you have like a cool tattoo on your chest and you want to show it off, but it's a little bit chilly. It's chilly enough that you need to warm your arms up.

Defining a jacket is hard. Yeah, like I was thinking, like a vest, but the puffy ones. I want to say like a gilet or something like that. I've only ever called them puffy vests. Yeah, let's go with that. No, that's a vest. It's like a puffer vest. Yeah, but the puffer, okay, so you'll see. Say the name again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll see the answer to your riddle. You put it over your... No sleeves. So no sleeves. You need sleeves. Hey, that's what that tells us. No, because you can have a sleeveless jacket.

Fuck! I mean, it's fucked up, but you can do it. But you can't do it and you wouldn't call it... What's the difference? What's the difference between a denim vest and a sleeveless denim jacket? Does such a difference exist

is it the cut cause vests usually like triangle maybe you've got like a bit of

no but you know like you know like the vest at the front of the vest yeah like the tails but it's at the front

like these bits yeah like those bits so like the top of the front of the bottom lapel. I don't seem so dumb now, do I?

No. No, you don't. The lips? The lips of the vest? You've gone back to seeming dumb, dude. No, wait. I think I can get on board with lips. So imagine you're putting on a shirt.

It's fucked up. It's in you. And so it goes top down. It's fucking swallowing you whole. And so it's in you. And so those are its lips, which means its shirt holes are like, its arm holes are like its ears that you're punching through. Are you coming out the anus?

And I'm coming out the anus. So, yeah. Every time you put on a vest without undoing it, you're going full Ace Ventura. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So imagine if you're wearing a t-shirt, you're getting et by the t-shirt, coming out of his ass, punching it in the ears. Yeah.

Whoa, it is very close to its arsehole and quite far away from it. It's a little creature. It's like the shape of a Mr. Man guy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or its old head. Yeah. Okay.

We are no closer to finding a jacket. Well, I was going to say, because a jacket doesn't have the pointy, tucky in bits. You couldn't tuck in a jacket. No, that's true. You can't tuck in a jacket. You can't tuck a jacket. And to say that would be crazy. Jacket is outerwear.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Hey, we're getting some definitions in here. So you can't tuck it. Yeah. It has to be like, you can't put anything over it. Well, unless you jacks it.

What about an overcoat? Well, that's the only exception. Oh, okay. But that's also in its name. It's an overcoat. That's true, because it goes over the coat.

You put it over the last layer, the traditional last layer. Okay, all right. Because you wouldn't even put a hoodie over a jacket. You'd go jacket over hoodie. That would be crazy. We're describing so many

strange fashion crimes today. Tuck in your jacket, chuck a That would be crazy. We're describing so many strange fashion crimes today. Tuck in your jacket, chuck a hoodie over the top. Well, I mean, none of us honestly think

what's worse is you going t-shirt, shirt, jumper, shirt. Yeah. So fucked.

I could have gone t-shirt, shirt, jumper, shirt, jacket if I'd wanted to. And then overcoat.

And then overcoat. And dyed of heat. You could have simply gone t-shirt, shirt, jumper, jacket. No, but it was, the weather was such. How? Describe the weather where this is

applicable. The jacket would have been too much. Then the jumper's too, like. No, the jumper's perfect. Well then don't put that in point. If the jumper had brought me to 90% comfortable, a jacket would have gotten me to 110, 120, but the shirt got me to 100% comfort. Yeah, okay.

All right, look, fair enough. If you're thinking about clothes in terms of, we're all 100% right now. Yeah. I'm hot, actually. I'm probably like maybe 110 I'm wearing t-shirt and shorts you're wearing a shirt

a t-shirt pants yeah I'm wearing pants yeah I'm also rocking the t-shirt and shorts rocking the pants yeah

and I'm like I'm overheating yeah I'm hot yeah I'm wearing two hats though that's pretty fucked up that's awesome

because a hat is making it the most although all that the heat being trapped in my eye the Christmas heat yeah I'm wearing two hats though That's pretty fucked up That's awesome I guess a hat is making it The most Although All that The heat being trapped In a high knot The Christmas heat Making your brains boil

That's how we should Start cooking Christmas hams Just chuck a hat on it I guess they're dead So they don't How long would it take To cook a ham By hat

I guess Forever Because the ham's dead So nobody eats. Okay, so we get a pig. Yeah. Put the hat on the pig. Pre-cooked.

Pre-cooked pig's head. Cooked the pig's head down the track. Smart. Yeah. That's like when you cook eggs on the pavement. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, look, I'm going to put forward something that I think we 100% can agree is a jacket.

Okay. Yep. James Bond's jacket. A tuxedo jacket. A tuxedo jacket. It's a tuxedo. The Santa Claus, for those, if you're a freak out there who doesn't know how Santa Claus works. Hey, don't speak to our fans like that.

Well, if they don't know about Santa Claus, there ain't no fan of yours. Yes, that's the rhyme. It's Claus with an E. Yeah, exactly. Like a legal clause. It took me fucking 15 years to figure that out. That's cool. You know the exact amount of time.

I reckon I was in university and was like sitting there one day just being like, oh, shit. What did you think about the title of the second Santa Claus movie, The Mrs. Claws? That's not what it's called. What do you think about the non-existent title? The made-up title. The made-up title. What about the title for the third one which I think is called the revenge clause anyway

I think the Santa Claus 2 is just called the Santa Claus 2 he started a story where he's like it took me 15 years to realise the Santa Claus

was a legal term and we're like wow he's coming off as the dumbest man here you somehow you served that with by inventing two Santa Claus.

Asking me a question like, what did you think about the Santa Claus too? Well, probably the same shit, dickhead. There's no fancy name there. And then the revenge clause? I think it's called the escape clause. Well, to be honest, maybe that's what made me think about it.

So in that movie, I'm just clarifying though I always understood jungle to jungle yeah that makes sense that's good dude me too

concrete jungle and non concrete jungle i.e. nature nature jungle to regular jungle and the number two is just because

it's cool yeah it wasn't a sequel crucially anyway so Santa Claus falls off Tim Allen's roof

and fucking dies Tim Allen scares him off the roof Tim Allen's chilly he puts on Santa Claus falls off Tim Allen's roof Fucking dies Tim Allen scares him Off the roof Tim Allen's chilly He puts on Santa Claus's jacket Oh shit Is that

Does he put it on Because he's cold Yes I don't Why else Why else would he Put the jacket on He said his own house

If he was cold He'd go inside Put on the Heating Dude Look Why else does he Put it on the jacket?

Does the jacket just go on him? Yeah. What do you mean? Like magically. No, no, no, no. He puts it on himself consciously. Yeah, he makes a conscious decision. That's a strange choice.

If I skimmed off... Because he's in his skivvies. I understand that. He's been asleep. But if I inadvertently manslaughtered a person... Yes. I'm like, oh, no, but I'm a bit cold. My first reaction isn't to put on

Their jacket Yeah well I don't know dude You're not Scott Calvin Tim Allen's character In the Santa Claus Huh So

Either way When he puts on the jacket Okay so he does not Put the jacket on Because he's cold Why does he put it on Santa's body disappears After he

Because Tim Allen Goes to check on Santa Like a Jedi Yeah Disappears Jedi style And there's a business card Being like Hey if You found this, put the jacket on. So then he's like, what the fuck is going on?

There's an even weirder reason to put the jacket on. No! A man Jedi's in front of me, leaving behind his beautiful coat. Yeah. And then I get a business card that's like, put this on. I'm curious. Yeah, like as in, I'm like. You had me at disappearing man.

Yay, that was the hook. You sold me at business card instructions. And the business card magically appears in the jacket as well. Like, he sees it happen. Yeah. So, like, you're like, something fucked is afoot. I think I'd be like, hey, kid, put the jacket on. Who are you in this situation?

I'm Tim Allen. I'm Scott Calvin. And you're giving it to your own child. Yeah, just to see. Don't ever be a father. Don't ever be a father. Anyway. So your kid, okay.

So there you are. From where you started. You and a child. You're Tim Allen. Uh-huh. You've woken up because there's a guy on your roof. Right. You go outside, you're like, hey!

And he falls off the roof and dies. Yeah. His body vanishes before your eyes. A business card appears. Right. You're in your skivvies and you're cold because you're like, hey! And he falls off the roof and dies. His body vanishes before your eyes. A business card appears. Right. You're in your skivvies and you're cold because you're thinking about- As you said, I can go inside in my jacket. Yeah.

And then you go inside. Yeah. Wake up your kid. No, he's out there with me. Okay. You're a family man. Yeah. You hear something on the roof.

Like, oh no. Hey, kid, come with me to investigate this bad noise. Something's going on. Maybe we're getting home invaded. Yeah. On New Year's Eve or whatever. Christmas Eve or whatever. They won't shoot a kid.

Surely. Yeah, of course. And so you're like, come here, Jackson Jr. Yeah, yeah. Holding their hand. That is what I named my kid. Yeah, and then you walk out. J. Joe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Little J. Joe. And you walk out and you're like, ah, get off my roof. Get off my roof, you motherfucker. He falls on my steps. And you're like, ah, get off my roof! Get off my roof, you motherfucker! He falls and he slips and you're like, oh no, my beautiful son has just watched a man die

in front of him. He's screaming and crying and it always disappeared. I know what will be good for his trauma. Hey, to be warm. Hey, my good son. Hey, J. Joe. You want to be warm? Go put the jacket on. You want to wear the jacket?

The man you just saw die in front of your very eyes? He was probably a J. Joe, you want to be warm? Go put the jacket on. You want to wear the jacket? You want to put on that man that is no longer here? The man you just saw die in front of your very eyes? He was probably a ghost because he disappeared, J. Joe. Put the jacket on. You know how Nana, she disappeared and she died? We just buried her clothes. What is that? What is going on there?

Yeah, so at any point, does it seem like telling your kid to put the jacket on sounds good? I think going near the jacket seems insane at all. This man's maybe the devil. I don't know. You saw something like a man fall off your roof, disappear, leave a jacket. I'm not listening to a magic business card. I know.

You're saying you wouldn't even go near that jacket? You're putting the jacket on because you're cold like fucking four sentences ago. Tim Allen was. Tim Allen wasn't cold. Anyway. He was frightened and maybe a bit perturbed. And maybe confused.

Confused. It couldn't be me. I would be looking at that jacket, maybe with a stick. Would you put on the pants? Because that's what Tim Allen does. Well, what's his card say? If I get the stick And I move this

And then I see magically Something appear in the pocket And then I'm like Maybe there's something there for identification I'm going to put my hand in there and read the card And the card's just like put on the jacket I'm going to be like Why?

And then I'm like take it inside And be like honey Found a jacket, I think. Okay, so you've both immediately like, all right, I want to know what happens when I put the jacket on, but I'm going to give it to my son or my wife. I'm not giving it to my wife. I'm simply going to be like, I want a second opinion. I don't know if my brain is broken.

Also, babe, sorry, I just killed a man. I'm not leading with that because I don't know if that's real. I just know a man disappeared and I have a jacket. All I know for real is I have a jacket. Babe, wake up. Wake up. I maybe imagined killing a man. I am not leading with that at all.

Hence why I found a jacket. That is what I am saying. You can't lead with that because then she'll be like, why did you bring the jacket into the home? Whose jacket? Why are you holding it with a stick? These are great questions, but there's a card in it that says. Go back to sleep, darling.

There's a card in it that says where the jacket is found. Put it on a dog maybe? Why? Because I don't know what's going to happen if I put the jacket on. I don't know if I'm having a mental break. And then you become Santa Claus if you do. If you're having a mental break, who cares if you put on the jacket? Well, then maybe I'd put on the jacket.

Good point. If that's like, if my wife is like, honey, why do you have a jacket? I'm like, I don't know. I found it. And she's like, oh, you know, it's Christmas. Put it on. I'm like, what? That's awesome.

Your wife's like, found a jacket on the road? Put it on, babe. It's Christmas. Your wife thinks like Jackson operates. Yes. Jackson finds a jacket on the road. He's like, oh, free jacket. Yeah. Often. Yes, she does. My wife thinks like Jackson operates. Jackson finds a jacket on the road. He's like, oh, free jacket.

Yeah, often. Yes, she does. It's really infuriating. Yeah. Well, in this situation, this is relevant because in your situation, James Bond has died. Yes. Why are you putting on his jacket? Well, it's an expressive drug.

It's a very nice jacket. I can't afford that jacket. That's a nice jacket. Would they track you down to kill you if you stole James Bond's jacket? Well, if you become James Bond, which is what is about to happen, yes. Because it's not just a jacket. It's now James Bond's jacket. That's true. Or 007, and now I accidentally become a new 007.

Yes. So you would... New physique. Sick. Parkour. Parkour. Parkour. New skills.

Maybe saw knots Depending on if it's After the events Of Casino Royale Oh it's a jacket That makes my knots Yeah How long

Honey I found this Tuxedo jacket outside And I'm in There's something really wrong With it Now my knots Are hurt So sore

Take it off It's really expensive I can't keep wearing it I reckon you get a British accent Yeah Oh you would too That's so sore. Take it off. It's really expensive. I reckon you'd get a British accent. Oh, you would too. Daniel Craig's British accent? Well, it depends which Bond's jacket you've taken, I suppose. He's Australian.

He also has a fucking British accent. You don't become the actor. I know, I'm just wondering what kind of accent. You get to pick? I guess it just has to be British. Yeah, British. Yeah. British. There we go. I'm probably not.

Me, James. How you doing, love? Yeah. Martini. Martini. Shake it. Shake it up. Don't stir it, you dizzy bro.

Oh, babe, babe, babe. I do not care. Just pour some fucking booze in there and let me have it. Come on now. Yeah. Give us. Give us. Because when Tim Allen becomes the Santa Claus,

how much of Tim Allen remains and how much of the Santa Claus, you know what I mean? Well, he maintains his accent. Yeah. He doesn't become, he doesn't, I don't know what a North Pole accent is. No, he does. He does.

He gets Santa voice. He gets jolly. He gets jolly. He gets a Santa laugh. Yeah. Yeah. He gets a jolly. So as he, yeah,

as the events of the film go on, and then especially in the sequels, he's like, he's Santa maxing two dogs. Going to a bar and like, what do you want? Whiskey sour. Thank you very much.

Purses dog shit. Give me a martini. Fuck. God, I don't like martinis. But would you grow to love martinis? I would. Because Tim Allen,

he grows to love cookies and shit. Yeah, cookies and dog shit. Like Santa. So you know what you're doing? Breaking into people's houses eating that cookie. You're leaving, take a delicious tray out for Santa. Fucking going through the toilet eating the shit. Why is a dog shitting in the toilet?

We have a goddamn dog. We trained our dog to shit in the toilet. Like Charles Mingus trained his cat to shit in the toilet? We have a goddamn dog We trained our dog to shit in the toilet Like Charles Mingus trained his cat to shit in the toilet We trained our dog It's so funny when you're waking up Christmas morning Cookies untouched In the litter box or something She's had a bite out of it

What the fuck? A fucking savage animal What the hell? I hope Santa's not my parents. Well, just back to the cat shitting in a toilet. That must be fucked for a cat. Cats aren't used to a shit falling that far. And it would be precarious, I think, depending on the toilet.

Well, I mean, cats don't really think. Yes, that is true. Cats have nothing. Tiny little peanut brains. Nothing there. Just absolutely nothing. Dogs look like they know jack shit, and cats look like they know jack shit. Yeah.

Other way around. Other way around. But no animal knows anything. Yeah, all animals are stupid. Yeah, that is true. Us included. Especially us included. Would you become part of MI6?

I mean, guess so, because Santa Claus, like Tim Allen, becomes part of the system that is... But that's by the elves' design, though, because the elves go get him and bring him to the North Pole. Yeah, so MI6 would have to go get me

and bring me to the MI6 building. This is what I imagine would happen. If we're following Santa Claus rules, you chuck on the tuxedo, all of a sudden you notice oh no state secrets yeah oh god

get them out of my brain I reckon you'd immediately your accent would start to slowly change you'd probably have a craving for a martini and I reckon they'd be like

and gambling I just choked on nothing yeah and yeah I reckon there would be like a phone or something in your pocket that would ring

and be like hello Bond it's MI6 we need you come home I'm like no it's MI6. We need you. Come home. I'm like, no, it's Zammett. Joel Zammett. They're like, do you know states? How did you get this phone? It'd be like, no, it's Zammett. James Zammett. Sorry, did I say Zammett? I meant Bond.

Sorry, Bond. Joel Bond. But no, because in the Santa Claus, say the elves Didn't have some way of tracking where Santa was Yeah And Tim Allen becomes Santa Claus Would Tim Allen find his way to the North Pole Or would he just quietly

Be Santa at home I think he would have It would be in his head Like a pigeon sense of where he needs to go It would be a hole that needed to. Like a pigeon sense of where it needs to go. Like it'd be a hole that needed to be filled. A pigeon sense of where to go. Yeah. You know how pigeons know where their house is?

They got that crystal in their nose. They got a crystal in their brain that means that they know where to go. And then in the old... You can look this up, you little machine. No, I don't know. I know the fucking crystal. You would own a pigeon in your house, and you would take that. Shit's falling down.

You would give that pigeon to a friend and say, if you've got to say anything to me, put it on the pigeon. Okay, so the way that carrier pigeons work for you is you swap them. So you meet up with your friend in real life. Yeah, you've got two pigeons. So you raise a pigeon at your house. Your friend raises a pigeon at their house. This is how it worked. Then you meet up in real life. Yeah. And then you swap pigeons. So you raise a pigeon at your house, your friend raises a pigeon at their house. This is how it worked. Then you meet up

in real life, and then you swap pigeons, and then you go home. Because then if you need to, because the pigeon knows where its house is. You're like, pigeon, go to my friend James! The pigeon flies out and flies back into your house. I may have misunderstood how this works. Pigeon, I have a message for James!

How do they use carrier pigeons to do anything? What do you mean If a pigeon had to fly for like two hours or whatever That's so far for two people to have met up Well I mean you have like a Look I don't know I'm in England

I'm the king of England I'm sending a carrier pigeon To the Duke of Wales Okay That's a fucking long way the Duke of Wales. Okay. Yeah. That's a fucking long way from- Probably beginning of the year. Duke of Wales sends his pigeon guy.

Yeah. You send your pigeon guy. They travel the breadth of the United Kingdom. They meet in the middle. Drop off their pigeons. Swap pigeons. You got the pigeons in your pigeonery. It's funny to organize, like, how did I organize the meetup of the pigeons?

And surely I could have just passed the message on the same way well yeah so you do it in advance so you have like about say you got a hundred pigeons yeah and then you give them

the hundred pigeons like I gotta say something to a duke oh these are my duke pigeons well you could do I mean look I know we've already reinvented the homing pigeons

with internet yeah yeah yeah we don't need to go back if we wanted to but if we wanted to what you do is you get like two pigeons. Yeah. One is stronger than the other pigeon.

Okay. And so then when you wanted to send a message, you send the message and then a little cage with another pigeon in it. So then it delivers a pigeon and the message. Now we're talking. That's like, yeah, that's like a return to sender kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a self-mailed. Strong pigeons, you could have a nice chain.

Yeah. To send them back and forth. Yeah. Do you reckon that's how it worked? I don't know. Do you know, do you hear about, it was maybe in like 2018, they found a pigeon, a long dead pigeon in a chimney in England somewhere when they were renovating a house and it was a World War II pigeon

and it had state secrets still on its ankle because it had been sent house and it was a World War II pigeon and it had state secrets still on its ankle because it had been sent to deliver a message during World War II or whatever and it got lost. I mean, fair enough.

That was a dumb pigeon. Yeah, you look. Bums are going. Yeah, there was a blitz. Get it. Until a pigeon fell in the chimney. If I was a blitz happening

and I was a pigeon I'd be like, I'm a flying man going in there here. I'm going in a chimney. Oh no, I've died. And I was a state secrets pigeon. Yeah. It's funny to send state secrets by a pigeon. Well, I'm flying. There's no one there. I'm going in a chimney. Oh, no, I've died. And I was a state secrets pigeon. Yeah.

It's funny to send state secrets by a pigeon. Well, we had to. Well, how else are you doing it? By a horse? That's true. Homing horses. A horse always knows its way home. Is he putting a little parchment into a horse's saddle

and just slapping its ass? Off it goes. You know a horse is easy to hit. What? You know a horse can get lost can fall in a bog like easily captured. Horses famously get bogged.

It's also funny pigeons is funny too because like sending a pigeon away and you're like I hope they get that message then a hawk just gets it. Dammit.

Yeah I guess they're not getting that message. They're not a homing hawk. Yeah yeah. Isn't that what they is this a wrong thing that I'm about to say. But've got a homing hawk, huh? Yeah, yeah. Isn't that what they... Is this a wrong thing? Okay. I'm about to say.

But in terms of intercepting messages, you'd get, say, a hawk or something like that to take out some pigeons and then intercept their messages. See, hey, if it was World War II and you pitched that idea to me, once again, I would be like, let's not do it. I'm not trying to reinvent or reinvigorate the homing pigeon. I understand we don't need that now.

But there are a lot of pigeons. Yes. And they are still domesticated. If you don't know about that, listeners, it's funny. It's really sad. You could probably get a pigeon. Pigeons can't really make nests because we were like, you're our pets. And then one day we woke up and we said, you disgust me.

You know, we have now boss code. Fuck off. We no longer need you. We no longer need you. That meme, the toy story. I don't want to play with you anymore. We threw the pigeon in the bin. We used to have like,

we used to build like basically monuments to them where we would house them. It's crazy. Now we won't even eat them. Yeah. Imagine that with any other domesticated animal. One day across the globe, we're like, dogs?

Fuck dogs. Just let them go. See what happens. Sort of happened. Yeah. Like the turn spit dog. That's true. There are breeds of dog. We were like dogs fuck dogs just let them go see what happens it sort of happened yeah like the turn spit dog that's true there are breeds of dog we were like

we're done with you we don't want to play with it anymore but you know we didn't send them out in the wild and they didn't eat like you know

scraps you didn't just get city dogs imagine turn spit dogs just in the loose they were fucked up dogs it's funny because you could always tell them

because they'd be running he just wants something to turn yeah we didn't domesticate like more things like imagine domesticating

I know we have domesticated again the humble horse but to like the degree that we have with a cat and a dog that would be awesome dude give me a sausage horse

yeah this horse is long and you cannot ride it it's long can't ride it little brain leaking out. You know we made sausage dogs.

Sausage dogs were a hunting dog. Do you know that? Yeah. I guess to get into the burrows? Yeah, to get into the little holes. That's awesome. Why did we do Pog? As a joke, I guess.

I know we did French Bulldog cause back in the day we used to get bulldogs. Not us. Yeah. The French? No, the British. They would get a bulldog. get bulldogs. Not us. Yeah. The French? No, the British. They would get a bulldog. British bulldogs. They had this belief

that if a bull was pissed off, the meat was better. So they would get a bulldog. What it would do is it would get under the bull and piss the bull off and then they would kill it. Yeah.

But then they were like, that's fucked up. We should outlaw that. And then Britain was like, we no longer want these dogs. So they just let them do whatever. Yeah. But then they had some fucked up dogs because they weren't breeding them properly anymore.

And the French were like, they're cute. Can we have them? And so Britain sent them their dud British bulldogs. That became the French bulldog. Yeah. Because we were like, a hassled bull makes the tastiest meat. A tense, angry bull? I mean, you don't eat bull anyway.

Right? I mean, you could. Yeah. Why don't you? I don't know. anyway right I mean it's good yeah You want the bull to fuck the cow you want one bull to fuck some cows yeah, you can eat the other bulls Testicles that's a joke in a funny video or because they've gone inside And they go full carnival diet or whatever. Oh, liver king. Yeah, liver king eats nuts. And a lot of supplements.

And butter. Yeah. And steroids. Yeah, and steroids. He denied it and then was open about it. Yeah, because he got caught. Yeah. How much?

$30,000 a month, you say? Just don't... That's a lot. You're maybe in trouble, pal. He looks healthy. Oh, I think so, dude. He loves cold baths. Well, yeah, but if you have a bunch of cows, and say you've got like one stud bull,

he's banging all them lady cows. Nice. Really easy to imagine. Yeah, I'm there, dude. And then you have, they all get a lot of little calves. Yeah. And then you say like 50-50.

You have like 50 lady cows, 50 male cows. Yeah. And you raise them to be slaughtered. You think you're just going to, what's happened to those? Brother, I get on the phone. I say, any farmer in the area want a stud?

They say, yeah. I give them my boy cows. What up, farmers? Anyone need their cows? Fuck, not by me. Not by me. I was trying to be a cool farmer, and now I sound like a freak farmer.

I don't want to fuck your cows. I'm so sorry. Can I try? I'm going to call you back. No. Hello, it's me. Not again for the first time. I got a horny bull here.

Oh, fuck. Give me one more try. Third time's a charm. But like that is so. So one bull was able to in seven minutes say 100 cows. A lot of coming a bull. A lot of coming a bull. You're not going to want to be studying

every single one of those bulls, right? Why not? Because you sell those bulls. Yeah, but there's so many limited amount of farms, right? Not really. I guess.

Not back in the day. There were farms everywhere. I'm not back in the day. I'm saying now. You've got a lot of product there that you could then go to sell to an abattoir. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You probably eat some bull. I'm going to settle this debate by saying we probably do eat bull and they just call it cow. Yeah. Yeah. Because a cow is a cow. Yeah, well, a cow is a cow, but a bull, no, bovine? Yeah.

Bovine and a cow, they're both the same thing. No, yeah, but a bull is a cow, but a bull is a bull. And a sow is a cow? No, a sow is a pig. Lady pig. You had a pig. What's a girl cow? Cow!

So cow is both. No! But cow is also lady cow. Bull and cow are the two you're looking for. Then what's the thing? Well, I think the thing is a cow. Bull vine. No, the thing is a cow.

That's what I'm saying, right? I've never been so confident, but also I'm like, I don't know. This could all be true. It can't be that cows are cows, but girl cows are cows. And bulls are boy cows. There's no way that's right. Look it up on your little machine. You've got the Johnny Little Machine this episode.

What is a lady cow? They are bovine, but are other animals bovine? Yeah, like an ox is bovine. What is a lady cow? They are bovine, but are other animals bovine? Yeah, like an ox is a bovine. What is the name of a lady cow? Because a bear is ursine, but that's all bears. It's cattle, and cows are cattle. We're so fucking stupid. So bulls and cows are cattle.

We're so stupid, dude! And cows are girl cattle. It's insane how stupid we are. What's a sow? Jesus Christ. Anyway, yeah, be James Bond with Sockle. Do I get his intelligence? Because I need to read back.

I hope so. Oh, fuck? Yeah, I hope so. Oh, fuck. Oh, man, I'm dumb. Does Santa Claus get Santa's wisdom? Oh, he knows why kids are naughty and nice. Yeah. So I guess you're right. Does Bond know animal husbandry?

He grew up on a farm. Yeah, he would. Yeah, he would. He would know. I'm a city boy. I don't know shit. I know the... No, I would know. I'm a city boy. I don't know shit. I know the... No, I don't mean the street and the road.

I don't. Is there a difference? We can't go... What have you got? What have you got? What's there for the parade? What? No, please.

Please, man. A court is a circle. I know that. I grew up on a parade. Why? What's that? Is it about Ben's or something? Maybe.

Length? Is it like a nothing thing? Is it just like what you decide on the day? I don't know. Because I'm thinking, what's the... Yeah, we're the city boy. Yeah, I grew up I don't want a skyscraper. No, I don't. A skyscraper in a what? I was about to say, you know, a skyscraper

in a tall building. I don't. Is it height? Yeah, I would say it has to be over a certain amount of floors. Maybe what it's made out of? No, I reckon it would be height. Because the name skyscraper is scraping the sky, brother. Yeah, but if you had a really tall

old building made of plaster and stone, would that still be a skyscraper? It wouldn't get that high. Because that's the whole thing. Sk, skyscrapers are hard to build because the wind fucks them up. And earthquakes? It's fucked.

It's bad out there for a skyscraper. Yeah, it's bad news. So I guess, yeah, Country Joel probably knows a lot more than City Joel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. City Joel don't know much. Yeah, oh, God, dude. Fuck, City Joel knows nothing.

And don't give that guy a license to kill. I mean, you would get a license to kill. That's pretty cool. I guess. Not necessarily. Bond doesn't start guy a license to kill. I mean, you would get a license to kill. That's pretty cool. I guess. Not necessarily. Bond doesn't start with a license to kill, and he has to get that license to kill by killing three people. But then he's...

Yeah, that's how it starts. I've always been confused by that. That's weird. Because the opening of Casino Royale is his third kill, and then he gets a license to kill. So he's doing it illegally, and then... No, I guess it must just be like how you can draw like learner drivers okay so he's got like a probationary license to kill it's like a learner license yeah it's like yeah i guess when you start when you become a

james bond they're like hey you got free training missions i guess if you pass those then you get a license okay that makes sense so i put the jacket on i get a little to kill. Okay, that makes sense. So I put the jacket on, I get a little phone call that like, Hey, kill these three men. Oh no. Would you take the jacket off? I don't know. How does that work in Santa Claus? Because he does have to take the jacket off at points. It might be the kind of situation where it just comes back.

Yeah, I think unfortunately. You kind of lose yourself in the... Yeah, I guess I've got to keep... Yeah, just become James Bond. And that's crazy Like we just don't know you anymore No I got I got stuff to do

Like if you become Santa Claus Or whatever It's like well whatever We can come to the North Pole If you invite us I would hope you do If you become Santa Claus You telling your friends

Yeah Well I don't wanna I think I'll be very lonely In the North Pole by myself Yeah Well you've got Mrs. Claus Someone else's wife It's you

It's you and someone else's wife and a whole bunch of elves. You can't cock a dead person. Boys, the best thing ever. I think I'm rich, for one. I'm rich in elves and wives. I'm fucking another guy's wife and I live in the snow.

I don't imagine that as a text to you but just like what does he mean Jackson's having a good day what does he mean by rich I'm rich in elves he says he thinks he's rich rich in experience

question mark or cash question mark and that's just a photo of me in the north with a selfie and then with the caption done-o

that is elves and that is someone else's wife and he is Paul Stapen. Wow. Okay. Sick big Jack. That's awesome. Have a good day.

Thanks, man. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. Yeah, I'd invite you to the

North Pole. Of course. Unfortunately you can't cock a dead man's wife. That's true. The whole till death do us part. They parted. Death did them part. Yeah, but what if you're wearing their clothes? I mean it's fucked up. It us part. Yeah, yeah. They parted. Death did them part. Yeah, well, they... But what if you're wearing their clothes? Yeah, well, that's... I mean, it's fucked up. More complicated.

Yeah, yeah. It feels like her kink. But I don't think... Anyway. In the Santa Claus, he doesn't fuck Santa's... Well, he's already got his own wife. Yeah. But he has to get a new wife.

Oh, yeah, that's part of the... That's the Mrs. Claus. Yeah, the sequel. The fictional sequel I made up. The Santa Claus 2. But that is part of it. Do you want me to find out what the Santa Claus 2 is called? I think it's called the Mrs. Claus.

Yeah. Okay. I'm ready to be right. I'm putting all my eggs in this basket. What fictional jacket do you think should get the Santa Claus treatment? Oh, I didn't know it was fictional. I mean, okay, we'll go with just jacket. I was going to say just like a park ranger's jacket because it's a lot of responsibility.

Or is it like the Matrix where you... We'll go fictional and I'll pick Ranger Smith from Yogi Bear comics. Okay, so do you get his incompetence? I think I get a bear that annoys me. Two bears, actually. Are they smarter than

the average bear? How smart's a bear? Well, these ones are just walking up right. One's wearing a tie. Okay. Am I smarter than an average bear? No. No, no, no. As this episode has proven, absolutely not. So what do you think the Santa Claus 2 is called?

I'll give you another chance. I want to say the Mrs. Claus, but I'm assuming that's wrong. Yeah. So I will give you a hint. I have said the title in my question. Is it just called the Santa Claus 2? Okay. The third one's called Santa Claus 3

The Escape Clause? Escape Clause, yes, that is correct Well, in it, they talk about a Mrs. Clause Because he's got to get a wife Or he'll lose his Santa powers That's how it works I would just simply be like How are you a bit right?

You were asked the title Does she put on the jacket? No, but I think she does get Santa powers No, it's not his current wife. It's a new lady. So he leaves his- Because he's divorced. Oh, he is divorced.

Yeah. In the first movie, guys, it's been a while. You've misremembered every plot point so far. I know you're like, guys. Yeah, what the fuck? Coming for us? In the first movie, Scott Calvin is divorced from his wife. And his wife is now married to Some scumbag

I want to say Kerry Ewells but I think I'm thinking of Liar Liar Could be But the wife's new husband is like Hey little kid San is not real Judge Reinhold I believe plays the new husband What's that guy up to these days Let me just check

What's going on Let me just check. What's going on? Is he part of the Beverly Hills Cop remake? No, redo. Sequel? I think it's a sequel. Yes, he is. Beverly Hills Cop, Axel Foley.

That's not a good name. That's a terrible name. Prior to that, he was in a movie called The Bad Grandmas. Okay. Where he was in a movie called The Bad Grandmas. Okay. Where he was second lead. Is that a sequel to Bad Grandpas? Production. Does an old lady make out with a very young twink? Young fella.

Yeah, what's the go there? The comedy follows the activities of four grandmothers whose lives seem normal and unremarkable. That's sad. After they accidentally kill a sleazy insurance agent, It took a turn. a con man whom the insurance agent owed money to comes looking for his money. Put on his jacket. Things go from bad to worse when the four grandmas go to work covering up the crime and try to outwit the con man.

That sounds like an awesome movie. Yeah, it does not sound at all like Bad Grandpas. I'm into it. Yeah, I'll watch it. Okay. Anyway, so yeah. Judge Reinholdt is Harry the con man. Pam Grier, isn't it?

Okay, yeah. Anyway, so yeah, he's divorced. And then he has to find a new wife in the second one. What wife are you finding for your jacket? I don't think I need to find a wife if I'm Ranger Smith. I think I'm just going to deal with a bear. Do I get the responsibilities

of a park ranger? Or how locked in am I? I think you're pretty locked in. He tries to fight it. Yeah, but nothing he does stops that transformation. He gets a heartbeat. Yeah that's I think Because he He tries to fight it Yeah But it just Nothing he does Like stops that transformation

Yeah Because he gets a heartbeat Shaves his beard A bit of grows back Could I Sam Ranger Smith Gets fat as shit Yeah he does

It's awesome Yeah it is awesome Sam Ranger Smith Imagine being that big But feeling awesome That would be the dream And where Cookies and cake and shit

Just makes you stronger Yeah Like it feels like Even though that's Santa, like, he's a big guy. Like, he could pack a punch. Oh, yeah. Most Santas look like they could absolutely wreck your shit. Absolutely. Oh, 100%, dude.

100%. All that weight behind that punch. Yeah. Yeah. That's a room. He has, like, he had, like, Santas have what people often refer to as, like, the Jack Black energy. Yes, absolutely. Where they're, like like not traditionally in shape,

but you're like, oh yeah, you could probably high kick my head off. Yeah. You could pick me up and throw me off a bridge. Yeah. With relative ease. So say I'm Ranger Smith. Yes.

And I spend a little bit of time getting fucking hassled by Yogi Bear and Boo Boo. Look, Boo Boo, pick a dick basket. Oh, yum, yum, yum. I hope that Ranger Smith doesn't come find me. That bear's talking. That bear's talking. I'm smarter than the average bear.

What the fuck? That bear's talking and it's got a goddamn tie on. Who tied a tie on this bear? I'm wearing a little hat. Would I become, by becoming Ranger Smith, am I less afraid of a talking bear? Well, yeah, right? I suppose so.

I mean, like, the Santa Claus isn't like, ah, elves! Elves! Yeah, true. Or like, you know, ah, flying reindeer. Yeah, he just kind of takes it in stride.

He doesn't have to cop it. What I would be scared, if I tried to get rid of Yogi Bear, and Boo Boo, would, can I, basically, can I change?

Oh, Ranger Smith. What are you coming to talk to me? It was a trank. It was a trank. I'm not killing a bear. I'm sleepier than an average bear. It's not going down. Thunk, thunk.

That might kill him. That might be trying to. But if I tracked him and I sent him to another national park, can I change the Ranger Smith experience? Yeah. Could Santa and two Malibu Santa Claus be like, can I change the Ranger Smith experience? Yeah. Like, could Santa, what would Santa Claus be like, I'm changing the way we do things?

Like what, dumping all the presents in the ocean? Firing the elves? How would he change it? Well, yeah, could he dump all the presents in the ocean? Let's explore that. What happens? I guess a lot of sad children. Wet presents?

Yeah, but like, would there be some- A lot more rubbish in the ocean? Dead sea turtles? Yeah. But would- Oh no, this turtle choked on a Nintendo. A whale learns to ride a bike. Yeah. A whale learns to...

I don't know if you want that responsibility. I don't want to see a whale riding a bike out of the sea and being like, I did that. Whales shouldn't go on land. Is a whale saying I did that or are you like, I did that? I'm saying I did that. A whale rides out go on land. But is the whale saying I did that, or are you like, I did that? I'm saying I did that. But whale rides out on a bike and turns his huge head to me.

I did that. I'm like, he did. I'm going to walk into the ocean. I hope something in here kills me. No, but yeah, I'm just wondering if he has like, like instinct, Santa instincts now. Yeah.

So I guess- You got Ranger Smith instincts. Would my Ranger Smith instincts be like, I need to be hassled by... Because Ranger Smith never tries to come up with a permanent solution. It's basically... Yeah, there's no final solution. No, no, no. It's like ego death. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's all ego sharing.

Yeah, like I lose a lot of myself. Well, you maintain somewhat of yourself, but you do get like the I guess the concept of whatever Santa Claus is or the concept of Ranger Smith. He was kind of present in there to kind of compel you to do things. Like you have been born with Jackson brain. That is true. Unfortunately, those are the brains.

Yes. And there's no getting away from that. We were dealt bad hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so we can't get away from that because that's also our body chemistry. You're really like helping with those thoughts or now

hindering hindering those thoughts but now with Ranger Smith you then have his physiology now affecting how you think

Ranger Smith's dumb as shit isn't he oh no who played Ranger Smith in the Yogi Bear movie I want to say Will Ferrell

because it just seems right I just feel like once we know who played him. Is it Colin Hanks? Whoa. That actually probably bodes. I feel like it's Colin Hanks which is a crazy bit of information

for my brain to have held on to. Well, yeah. If it's true. I knew that Justin Timberlake was the voice actor of one of them. Yeah. We don't know too much

about the Yogi Bear movie. Yeah. It's not. You're wrong. It's not. You're wrong. It's not Colin Hanks, thank God. Although maybe there's more concern. It's Tom Cavanagh who looks exactly like Colin Hanks. Oh, from Stuckyville.

I can be forgiven. I can be forgiven. From what? You know, Ed or whatever. Oh, yeah, Ed. Yeah. What's Ed? I only know Ed.

A TV series? He's a lawyer going back? No, I know Ed TV. No, not Ed TV. Ed the Talking Mule? Or the horse, sorry? Tom Cavanagh. He does a lawyer. No, I know Ed TV. No, not Ed TV. Ed the Talking Mule? Or the horse, sorry? Don't have him. He does a series.

Mr. Ed. Mr. Ed's a horse that talks. They fed that horse so much peanut butter. That horse had a peanut butter addiction. That's so funny. That horse is like, the other day on set, another whole jar of peanut butter. Today rules for me. Yeah, he plays a guy called Ed, maybe.

He's a lawyer. He goes to a small town. Everyone's like, oh, big shot lawyer. He's Dan from your favorite TV show, Scrubs. Oh, yeah. Like JD. Like you.

JD's brother. Dan. Dan. Dorian. Like the grey. He. Dan. Dan D. Dorian. Like the grey. He also plays Reverse Flash. Yeah, he does. In Da Flash.

Whoa. TV show. Yeah, the CW series. Okay. So, yeah, is Agent Smith? No, Ranger Smith. Yeah. Is he dumb as shit?

I don't think he's stupid. I think he's just very frustrated. Yeah. Because, I mean, he's, well, okay. If a guy is outwitted by a bear that's smarter than the average bear, I guess he actually has to be pretty stupid. But does that mean that a bear's intelligence is, like, on par with a human? Because if a bear who is smarter than the average bear can outwit a regular human,

does that mean when it comes to, like, mental stats, a bear and a human equal? Well, Yogi Bear and Boo Boo, definitely. They're smarter than the average bear. And they're quite a bit smarter in that they can talk. Yeah, so an average bear, is that as smart as an average human? I don't think so. So, here's a bit of backstory on Ranger John Smith. He's a former U.S. Army soldier.

All right. He is trying to put a permanent end to the Yogi Bear problem, but not with death. He wants to send Yogi to the zoo, which is a smart place to send him. I'd do the same thing. But he loves boo-boo. Yeah, that's fair enough. I don't love boo-boo, although I suppose I would grow to love boo-boo.

What rank did he get? In the Army? Yeah. How many confirmed kills? I'm just wondering, was he officer rank? Did he kind of rise in the ranks? Yeah. Because that might, if not intelligence, at least a way of gaming the system. That's true.

How old is Ranger Smith? I don't know. I always thought maybe like 45. I wonder why he retired from the army. Ranger Smith has come under fire in popular culture because it has led to some complaints from park rangers about the job being misunderstood and not being treated seriously by the public. As these stereotypes fail to recognize some park rangers

as law enforcement officers. So park rangers are basically cops and Ranger Smith is a buffoon and everyone's like, you're a joke. We're not like that. We're not outwitted by a bear. It's like if Reno 911 changed the face of police. Sad it didn't.

Okay, alright. So I guess, yeah, I guess when you put on the jacket, you might get a phone call from Yogi and be like, hey, we've had a good thing going. I pretend, I swipe picnic baskets, you pretend to catch me, and this is the game. Okay. I am a bear. And also, part of Ranger Smith's reasoning for hating Yogi is something you could relate to.

Yeah. He doesn't like that he steals the picnic baskets because that makes extra work for him. Oh, I don't like that You're all lazy So I guess you become lazier By stealing the picnic baskets What's the extra work I gotta do I'm gonna hunt it down I guess People are complaining

Bears dude What fucking buffoon jobs have you had Where if someone gets hassled by something Not my responsibility What's nature Come on if someone gets hassled by something not my responsibility what's nature? well come on if someone comes up and is like

a bear took my coffee you're like you worked at a cafe you worked at a cafe if someone was like a dog bit me in your cafe you're just not

going to be like well yeah but if we're at the dog park and I don't own the dog and somebody comes up to me and they're like this dog bit me

I'm like well I don't know take it off with the dog a loose dog in the cafe is the same thing as no because a dog has it's a dog friendly cafe

I would say it's more like if a magpie swoops and like hits someone in the head yeah because that's nature a dog is someone's

responsibility yeah exactly in our society yeah so therefore you're going to be like whatever talk to the owner

I don't deal with a dog there a magpie but yeah a magpie say shits in someone's coffee or be like, whatever, I'll deal with the dog there. But yeah, a magpie, say, shits in someone's coffee. I'm like,

I'll get you a new coffee. Yeah, so you're dealing with the problem. That is extra work. You're making the coffee again, you stupid fuck. It's the same shit. If somebody came up to me and they were like,

magpie stole my sandwich. Yeah. You'd probably give them another sandwich. No, it's more like you go to the beach. Go to the beach. You're at the beach like You go to the beach Go to the beach You're at the beach

You're at the beach You have like a lot of Fish and chips Okay And you're eating Your fish and chips And then a flock of seagulls Comes and just eats

All your chips Are you gonna go back To the fish and chip room And be like I was at the beach But it's not even like that It's like you're at the beach Eating fish and chips

Yeah And a bunch of seagulls Eat the fish and chips Yeah And then you go up To the lifeguard Yeah that's what I mean Hey somebody ate

My fish and chips The lifeguard will be like You drowned it Yeah but that's not what the fucking Why are you eating goddamn sandwiches with this base present? It's not you run away you come into the goddamn forest with a bear lives There's a goddamn tasty sandwich that a bear can smell and now it's my brother and smell and now it's my brother

the bear fucking ate it it's a fucking bear brother fucking it's a bear what are we going to do man rest of the bear for your sandwich fucking go home

go to a cafe get another sandwich I don't know leave me alone take a couple of steps back in the episode where I revealed what a park ranger's job is

and knowing that Yogi Bear lives in a national park of course it's his fucking job to deal with it what's a park ranger's job like a cop

like you're going to arrest the bear or am I going to arrest the bear? No! Or am I going to be like, you know what, don't bring a goddamn sandwich with us a bear! But it's a national park!

That happens to people. They don't complain to the rangers. Yes, they would! That was scary. They'd be like, I got, like, a animal hassle me.

They'd be like, does that have to keep an eye on it? Like if a dog flies to someone. A bear eats somebody's picnic. What's my responsibility? Put up a sign. Don't bring picnic

Where there bear Ignore This on you fuckwits Ignore the picnic tables We've set up In this national park And all the places To buy the food around here

What do I do? A bear eats somebody's picnic What do I do? You gotta fucking Console and fucking Maybe file some paperwork What am I a therapist? No!

Oh I'm so sorry Your sandwich got stolen I'd probably be like That's gonna, a therapist? No! Oh, I'm so sorry. Your sandwich could stall later. I'd probably be like, that's going to be unhealthy for the bear. That's what I'm thinking. Well, yeah, it's still a job. You have to then care for the fucking bear or tell the fucking vet that's still a job.

I'm the vet. The bear just goes off in the woods and I'm like, that bear's got a terrible diet. That bear's going to shit plastic. That bear's going to die. That's, you know, it's a shame. So you think, as a park ranger, a bear eats someone's sandwich on your watch, nothing you can do.

Not my job to protect people from the bears. Not even to the point of like, it's so not your job that you don't even want to hear about it. It's maybe my job to go and educate people of, stop, hey, you know when you have a picnic, maybe don't, I don't know, put it where the bear can get. Yeah. If you go camping where there's bears, generally you put like, you know when you have a picnic, maybe don't, I don't know, put it where the bear can get. If you go camping where there's bears, generally you put like,

you make sure that your food is contained so the bear can't smell it. That's just like a thing that happens. Yeah. Bring bear makes. Fucking hell, leave me alone. I don't know, dude. Eat your sandwich quick, guys. Okay, so you had a closer encounter with a bear.

And you got away without getting ate. And you're bitching to ate. Yeah, you were alive. And you're bitching to me about your lost goddamn sandwich. Oh, my God. I want your life. Grow up, motherfucker. My Lord. Grow up.

Grow up. That's what I would be saying. That's my response. I'm glad neither of you are in front-facing customer service roles. I don't think a park ranger is a customer service role. It is. Come on now. No, it's a conservation role.

Yeah. But it's still like. I'm not dealing with it. If a cunt is coming to me complaining about a bear easy sandwich, I'm like, Jesus Christ. You maintain pods. You maintain the count of what animals are in the area. Yeah. You maintain invasive species.

Yeah. You honestly don't think that ensuring that people fucking have a nice time at a park that you are open and attracting has come to the park as part of their job. Not as a national park, no. That's not part of the deal. It might be part of my job maybe is to educate. Maybe I work at the cabin to be like, oh, you're coming?

This is a path you can take. Be wary of a bear. Don't bring a fucking picnic. If you're going to have a sandwich, make sure that it's not like lathered in like a ham everywhere that a bear can smell. I don't know if you know this about bears, but this bear in particular, stop bringing in ham sandwiches to this park.

Especially if I look at the yellow, whatever it's called, Jellystone National Park, where Yogi Bear works. Somebody comes in with a picnic and I'm like... Yogi Bear works? You paying him? Is he on the payroll? Somebody comes in with a fucking picnic at Jellystone National Park, I'm like, that picnic's gone. I say, eat that in your car, dude.

That's like, look, it happens a couple times. I'm like, fair enough. I'm like, okay, this is a bear who loves picnics. I'm putting up a sign, no picnics. Yeah, don't have a picnic here. Don't bring picnic baskets full of ham sandwiches. Don't do this. That's on management, to be honest.

Got nothing to do with me. So being a park ranger is fine because you have no responsibilities. No, I've got just other responsibilities not related to Yogi Bear. Other than seeing Yogi Bear and logging down. One bear stole another picnic basket. Send email to management. I probably look at Yogi Bear. I'm like, oh, that's another black bear.

We got 50 black bears in the park. That's good. Brown? I don't know. I would get it. Is he a grizzly? He's a brown bear. What?

Boo-boo. Boo-boo's small. Boo-boo is small. He's a baby, right? Like a sun bear or something? He's not a baby. He's an adult man. He's an adult?

Boo-boo's an adult? Yeah. He's like a full guy. Do you think Boo-boo's like the son of Yogi or something? A little bit, yeah. They're just like good friends. They're just like buddies. He's so little.

Yeah, well, I don't know. Some bears can be small, I guess. He's there, but I think he's a cow. Maybe he's meant to be a black bear. Oh, it's me, Boo-Boo. I'm smaller than the average bear. Doesn't Boo-Boo sound like this a bit? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, Yogi. Yogi, I'm Boo-Boo the bear. It's me, Boo-Boo the bear. I'm Boo-Boo the bear. Yogi, don't eat me. I'm only small. You gotta stop eating all those ham sandwiches.

It's making you so sick. Yogi, don't eat me. I'm only swine. You gotta stop eating all those ham sandwiches. It's making you so sick. Yogi, I'm small bean. Yogi, they hate when we eat them. Hickory dick man. Yogi? Our booboo sounds haunted. I don't like him. Anyway, what'd you pick?

I like the press booboo. Yeah, yeah. What jacket are you picking? Well, I think, like, obviously, when you think jackets, you've got to think superheroes. There's a lot of famous jackets, and maybe none more famous than one that I don't want, and that is Gambit's jacket. Oh, he's got a very long jacket.

It's kind of like a trench coat. Or a duster. Would you get his powers? Yeah. He can charge shit. Charge shit up. I'm going to fucking blow up my phone all the time accidentally. That fully hit my nose.

That was crazy. Zama doesn't need the powers. He can do it already. He's just doing it already. Imagine you slit my throat like this. One time I did, so I was fucking around doing this, right? Yeah. And it was another room and I did that.

Yeah. And it went through a door and I just heard an, ow! Cut someone's forehead. Was it your wife? That's like years ago. What the hell? Yeah, that's awesome. I had a friend of mine was doing it,

and he just fucking bit into a wall once. I really love that you're telling this story whilst hocking them at me. I cut someone's forehead. Oh, yeah. Where are you aiming them, man? I'm not. Your face.

Your forehead, actually. Yeah, so I guess I get the kinetic energy or whatever, which is annoying because I'd use it wrong and wouldn't know what I'm not. Your face. Your forehead, actually. Yeah, so I guess I get the kinetic energy or whatever, which is annoying because I'd use it wrong and wouldn't know what I'm doing. But you're just charging stuff up and throwing it. Check my phone. Oh, charge my phone. Blow up my phone.

Charge my phone. You can charge it for a bit, but you need to make sure that you get your phone. You don't overcharge it, yeah. Yeah, like fucking. You get the accent? Yeah, which is, that's a problem. Cajun accent.

I don't know how to do that. How you doing, baby? It's like, yeah, it's kind of a Cajun accent. Sorry, can we get accent I don't know how to do that How you doing, baby? It's like Yeah, it's kind of a Cajun accent Sorry, can we get that again? How you doing, baby? How you doing, baby? Yeah, it's like a Cajun accent

There's a guy I watch on TikTok It's kind of more French, isn't it? Yeah, well, yeah He says How you doing, baby? He's a really great cooking guy He cooks a bunch of stuff on a grill Slams down

He says Powder butter, baby And slams down a whole pot of butter It's awesome Is this He makes shit with alligator all the time I fucking love it. Fuck, I wish I could remember his name.

And it's like, Swimp. Yeah, Swimp. We can make a Swimp. Swimp, baby. Pat a butter, baby. Pat a butter, make a Swimp. Yeah.

He rocks. I love that. Yeah. Almost like your tongue is a bit too big. Yeah, yeah. You can cook up a good gumbo. Yeah. Would you learn how to make...

Would you learn how to make... Because there was an episode, issue of, I think, one of the X-Men series recently where we get Gambit's gumbo recipe. Oh, you could make a gumbo. I could make, yeah. Has Huey got a gumbo? Yeah. Huey got a gumbo right now?

Oh, yeah, man. Let's check. Maybe Huey's got a gumbo. Look up G for gumbo. What's Huey got the fucking... I hope there is a... Whoa, tricks of the trade. The basics.

Homemade mayonnaise. Holy mackerel, dude. Mayonnaise is easy to make. Oh, there's a lot of awesome photos of Huey in this. Of Huey just like hanging out back in the day. Oh, here you go. Oh, okay. It's just probably in categories.

In the glossary in the back, is there under G for gumbo? There's a whole chapter on asparagus. That's awesome. From 48 to 56, it's all asparagus. Surely there's something in between. It doesn't look like it. No gumbo.

That's tragic. Go to the back. Go to the back. Go to the back. Come on, go to the glossary. The wonders of mints. Can't wait to read that one. That only got 10 pages.

You get asparagus. Oh, no, I guess asparagus got eight. Whoa, that's an awesome photo. Oh no, I guess the Sparrow just got ate. Whoa, that's an awesome photo. Anyway, so yeah, so I guess you're getting the powers of Gambit, so you can charge shit up. You're ahead of the Thieves Guild. Do you have to move to Louisiana?

Yeah, I'm moving to a bayou, which to be honest is part of the reason I don't want to go. What's wrong with a bayou? Nothing's really wrong with a bayou, but I'll be hot. It will be humid. Alligators. Alligators don't faze me too much. Brave. I'm impressed. He could charge one up. Does Kevin ever do

that? Charge a guy and throw him? He should. He should. I think well, there's he could be a lot more powerful, but he got a little bit lobotomized by Mr. Sinister. Oh, that's sad. So he doesn't have as many big powers. Is that happening to JD?

Define lobotomized. Well, so in some universes, Gambit is actually very powerful to become like the power of the sun. Oh, my God. Yeah. And so he went and made a deal with Sinister to be like, can you just come and ask my power? Too powerful. I don't need that.

And then you go and he does that. And then as a favor, you lead the marauders down to the Moth Tunnels. And then they slaughter them. But that raises an interesting question. So say Tim Allen's Santa Claus. Say the prior Santa Loved MILFs Huge MILF guy

MILF freak And then he dies Now Tim Allen So I guess it would be Whatever is the primordial Santa Claus This other Santa Claus was here And he was like,

I'm going to wear that jacket. And that guy, he loved MILF. Yeah, OG Santa neutral on MILF. So now the new Santa Claus who loved MILF, how long was he Santa Claus for before then the next one came along

and became Santa Claus? Let's just, I don't know. We don't know. So let's say 100 years. So 100 years. So then it's like how much of the second Santa Claus was affected by the old Santa Claus.

So when you put on his jacket, how much are you getting of the primordial Santa Claus? And how much do you get of all the Santas that came before him? Can that Santa Claus affect, as in the second Santa Claus, affect the primordial? Yeah, yeah. Zamit laid down three cards whilst making that explanation. And I don't think it helped.

What does each card represent? Primordial Santa, Moose Santa, Tim Allen. Okay. You know what? It did make sense. You just weren't paying attention.

Yeah. I'll get King, Queens and Jacks. Might help you. There you go. Yeah. So we've got the primordial Santa, i.e.

the King. So the first Santa, and then succeeded by a hundred years. Milf Santa. Mil.e. the king. So the first Santa, and then succeeded by a hundred-year Santa. MILF Santa. MILF Santa, and then you come along. Well, because if primordial Santa wasn't a MILF Santa, but then the second Santa was a MILF Santa, then I guess that's not part of being Santa.

You just get to keep some of your personality. No, but then for a hundred years, it became synonymous. Santa Claus loved MILFs. Yeah, but then I guess you can bring your own twist to it. So maybe new Santa could be a big fan of girls gone wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just loves party girls. Loves party girls.

Well, that's what I'm wondering. Because then if OG, well, no, but it's OG Gambit that got his powers sort of neutered. So I guess that is happening. Yeah. Well, I mean, that wouldn't be too bad. I was worried about blowing up my phone. And I feel like if I had the power of the sun, my phone is copying it.

Because let me tell you, I love looking at my phone. Would you use your gambit powers at all? Like, what would you use them for? Being able to telekinetically charge something and then throw it with a great deal of speed. Maybe I'd go tenpin bowling with my friends, and I think it would be a funny way to end the game. That'd be a good trick.

Do you play normal the whole time? And then, right at the end, especially if I'm losing, charge the ball, roll it down, it's the bins,

explodes. I hate sore losers, Doucher. It makes everything an explosion. Doucher, are you going to use your powers on this one?

No, no. Dude, I would never. I think you're going to. I'm not. I'm not. I'm doing really good. I just noticed that you're down by 28 in the final frame, and your first ball was not a strike,

so therefore you probably can't win here. No, I don't. I'm just enjoying the game. I could spare, and then maybe a strike. Maybe it'll all sort itself out. You're going to blow him the hole. He's fucking doing it, mate. He's charging the ball.

And I guess part of the problem that would also be bad for this is that I would have to deal with Professor X oh I didn't even think of that you'd become a mutant so yeah like the bayou or whatever

not for me yeah sentinels the school for extraordinary children or whatever gifted yeah yeah

although I'm an adult so like you don't have to go back to school I think that's a choice you make do I have to teach turning up at the school being like I'm here to. You don't have to go back to school. That's a choice you make. Do I have to teach?

Turning up at the school being like, I'm here to enroll. Professor X being like, how old are you? This is a school for clever children, not for good men. I have to go to a few good men's school. I guess the responsibilities of Gambit currently would be, I guess, being Rogue's husband. Yeah, that's easy. No, Rogue's husband. Yeah. That's easy. No, that's hard.

Yeah. Kiss die. Suck your juice out of him. Although I think at the moment she's got a bit of control over that. So kiss good. Kiss good. Maybe it's nice to get your juice sucked a little bit.

Yeah. Hey dude, who doesn't love to get their juice sucked a little bit? A little suck of the juice. I guess you could be I guess you're the head of the thieves guild

in Louisiana? Sounds like a lot of jobs that I don't want. A lot of responsibility. Yeah you're the head of the thieves guild In Louisiana Sounds like a lot of jobs that I don't want A lot of responsibility Having to run a thieves guild Also having to fucking teach When am I sleeping? You've got an ex-wife That's fine

Who is it? I think she's the head of the assassin guild You've got to deal with that Well, what's her relationship like? Oh, it's messy Well then, I mean, I've killed her ex-husband He tries to kill you a lot. Well, I've succeeded.

But you're not Gambit. But you become, you look like Gambit. Yeah. But I killed Gambit. The Gambit that she hates is dead at my hand. But he doesn't transform into, like, that guy. He just looks like Dusha with Gambit traits. Yeah.

So I guess you would inherit, like, you would be the rightful heir of, say, the Thieves Guild. Yeah. And that's about it. Because everything else was the previous game. That was a job. Yes. Like, you know, you could teach some of the students. You could be an X-Men.

I think suddenly being a grown-up mutant, though, would probably mean that I am entangled in the X-Men. Yes, that's true. Because I guess you wouldn't have control of your abilities. Yeah. Help, Professor X. I keep blowing up my phone. I keep blowing up anything I touch. Well, I'll make you a phone that won't blow up.

Welcome to the school. No, that's all I need. You don't want to get trained? No, the phone that won't blow up, that's all I need. I'm going. It's also funny. Why is Professor X making gadgets? I don't know. He makes gadgets.

He's just looking after you. He makes gadgets. He's looking after you, dude. Professor X makes gadgets. In this case... He made Cyclops' eyes. I don't know. He makes gadgets. He's just looking after you. Does he make gadgets? He's looking after you, dude. Professor X makes gadgets. In this case... He made Cyclops' eyes. I think. Did he make his eyes?

Did he make his... Ruby Quartz visor? He makes that, yeah. Cyclops, I've made you a new pair of eyes because your old ones keep making that laser.

Yes. What? You know the laser keeps punching people from afar. Laser seems really annoying But these eyes won't do that Put in brand new eyes I made

And this is the phone for Joel Dushan It doesn't explode She'd stuck around Did he make Rogue's gloves or does she just wear normal gloves? I don't think they're special gloves They're just gloves Hey Professor X can you help me? Yes I've spent a long time In the workshop Here's some gloves They're just gloves Like can you Hey Professor X Can you help me Ah Yes

I've spent a long time In the workshop Here's some Here's some gloves They're real Cow leather Casual leather We've learned this

Sucks the power out Becomes a cow Yeah Whoa Can like Can Rogue suck the power Out of inanimate objects Or just guys

It's a living thing So she can suck the power Out of a Like an alive cow Yeah she could She could touch a So she could suck the power out of an alive cow? Yeah, she could touch a cow and become the memories and powers of a cow. Tree? Cactus?

I don't think it goes to, like, say... Does it have to be a power she sucks? No, because it does memories. Because she does it to her first boyfriend, Cody. She sucks him dry of memories and then he dies. I think sucking the memories of a cow would be really depressing. But then you'd have cow, once again, talking about cow thoughts.

But you'd have, you see, well, yeah, you get the memories of a cow, but they're filtered to the mind of a cow. That would be honestly lovely. No, I think it would be incredibly neutral. Yeah, but wouldn't that be nice, right? You're stressed or whatever. It's been a busy day and you're like, I'm just going to go to my cow place.

No, I don't. Then you think cow thoughts for an hour. It's like meditation. Yeah, because you go to a thing, you touch a cow. You've got to make sure you get a happy cow. Yeah. Sad to kill the cow. Yeah.

Sad to kill the cow for its memories. Well, you touch it a little bit. Okay, you suck a little bit out of the cow. It's big. Yeah. Who doesn't like to get their juice sucked? That's what you establish. You know that it just went around years ago.

Yeah. It's all set to U2's A Beautiful Day. Okay. And it's like somewhere, it's like a farm somewhere where they don't get a lot of sun for a bit. And they put all these cows in this farm. I think I know this video, yeah. And then they open up the barn doors. And then you get cow seed, the sun and the grass for the first time in months.

That's all set to you two's beautiful day. And the cows are frolicking. They're shoving their face in the grass. It's a good time. You as Rogue go there at that moment. Suck the cow. And be like, wait maybe five minutes. And be just like, suck off them cow memories.

Yeah, okay. And have big bliss. You can think about cow bliss whenever you want. Yeah, and at that point you don't even care about not being able to touch your boyfriend because you killed him you can think about cow bliss whenever you want and at that point you don't even care about not being able to touch your boyfriend because you killed him

or whatever just cow bliss you just go to your cow bliss I'm like you know that time I killed my first boyfriend when I was 16 and you know what

cow bliss I've seen gross sun and grass first time in six goddamn months that would be good yeah I think that yeah

maybe wear a rogues jacket yeah maybe that's the go rogues jacket. Yeah, maybe that's the goal. Rogues jacket, suck off a cow. Yeah. Perfect. Live the dream, dude. Play U2. Yeah.

Be like, yeah, this is good. Thank you, Bono. I love your music stylings. All your albums don't sound the same. Bono hates U2. That's sad. He fell off his bike, hurt himself and then when he was in hospital he was

like, I hate my band and I can't sing. That's a true thing. That happened to Bono and it happened like four years ago. That's awesome. That's good stuff. Bono hurt himself and decided YouTube, not for him. But he's still in YouTube, so now when he sees live clips of YouTube

with the sphere, know that Bono is miserable. You know, I've never wanted to go see YouTube, but now I do. Yeah, yeah. Every time he sings and the fact that he'll have like fallbacks and he'll hear himself, he'll be like I fucking stink. Oh, that's good stuff. My voice sucks and our songs are bad.

Well, um, good jackets, everyone. Yeah, good jackets, one and all. I realized about two-thirds of the way through this episode, sometime around the cow talk, I think, we said good jackets at the start and we all picked bad ones. Name one bad jacket. I don't think I can.

I think we all picked a great jacket. I think I can name one bad jacket. And that would be the second shirt that Jackson wore over his jumper and shirt. That's fucked up, dude. I think it was awesome. You make me sick. I think I'm going to do it more. Well, not now.

It's summer. When it gets cold again, dude, all my jackets, my shirts are huge. The jacket size. I'm going to throw up until I die. And it's going to be your fault. Brother, that's your problem. It's got nothing to do with me. It's got nothing to do with be your fault. Brother, that's your problem. Won't be my problem for much longer. It has to do with, yeah, look, dude, that's your fault.

That's on you. That's, you've come to my park, so throw it up. This ain't on me. I hear you vomiting in the toilet. I'm like, it's got nothing. I didn't ask him to do it. And then you become the guy who dressed so bad his friend threw up until he died. You get infamy.

I'll take it. No publicity is bad publicity, or whatever they say. Jackson, I'd like to interview you about the death of your friend. Can you talk? I'm like, hey, listen to Plumbing the Death Star. I explain it every episode.

I made him so sick he died. Listen to my podcast. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. And I've been Joel. And happy holidays. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to everybody.

And we hope you have a wonderful season. Yeah. Tis it. Tis it. Tis it. Tis. Goodbye. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable

internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you Rogers.