Plumbing the Death Star - What Would Your Ideal Fallout Vault Be? with Adam Carnevale
Episode Date: July 7, 2024We’re joined by special guest and Vault-Tec employee Adam Carnevale to ask What Would Your Ideal Fallout Vault Be? In true Vault-Tec fashion, Adam comes up with some incredible vault ideas from some... kind of nightmare man to a vault where everyone thinks they’re birds maybe? He even puts forward hover-cabins connected by pneumatic tubes involving snipers for some reason. But none of that matters as Zammit and Jackson are here to help his brilliant ideas come to fruition! Do you want to trick your vault dwellers into thinking they’re slightly bigger? Sure! What about a VR realm? Or an M. Night Shyamaln wonderland? We don’t know what possessed you Adam, but yes. We’ll help you build it! Because we’re good friends.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Ahem, ahem.
You're listening to the Sands Pants Network.
Hey everybody, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star.
I'm Jackson.
I'm Joel.
I'm Adam.
And this is a comedy pop culture podcast where we ask the important questions,
like, what would your ideal fallout vault be? Vault B.
Now, Fallout, I'm pretty sure they're like, we have a bunch of vaults. Yes.
And that we're going to be giving them to certain corporations to be like, hey, not only can you save humanity,
but you can also do whatever
you want with them.
You want to make some
mutants have some mutants.
You want to have everyone
named Gary or Greg or whatever
by all means.
I don't know if that was exactly what happened in that vault.
They made everyone
named Gary.
And you are Gary.
The moment you come into the vault, they legally change your name to Gary.
What will happen?
And then it's like, well, we can have a bunch of, you know,
like we'll have like a car system or a different political spectrum.
Or we'll only put musicians in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or we'll only put poets or whatever.
It's 99 guys who love Diet Coke and one guy who loves Coke Zero.
There are like three.
What's going to happen?
I'm not even joking.
There are like three volts that are that.
What, 199 guys who like Diet Coke?
That's awesome.
There are like three different volts that are variations on that exact principle.
So we basically have, I'm assuming, is what happens to us who are running the experiments,
because presumably
it goes on for many, many, many years.
Yes.
We're frozen or our brains are in a jar that we can finally see the result of this, right?
I would hope so.
They put my brain in a jar.
I'm going to see.
So this part's always a little unclear.
Okay.
There are, in the canon, control vaults, and Vault-Tec did set things up where they would
survive the blasts.
Okay.
But what purpose, who's going around collecting this information?
It's a bit hazy.
Is it the idea that in my control vault, I say to my son, Jackson Jr.,
Jackson Jr., daddy loves you.
And second of all, you must tell your son.
Joju.
Joju. Joju. You must tell Joju Ju. That's Jackson Jr. Joju. Joju.
You must tell Joju Ju.
Joju Bailey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do not believe in the numerical system.
It's juniors all the way down.
Let's get the final, my final descendant,
100 years, 200, 300 years hence,
Joju Ju Ju Ju Ju.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He will go out into the wasteland
and he will find
this vault at this
location and find
out what the fuck
happened.
Because I'm a little
curious fella.
Obviously I will be
long dead, but
most of the plans
for Vault-Tec, I
think actually
exclusively all of
the Vault-Tec plans
had some mechanical
formula where they
themselves would be
the ones alive.
So the first one I
think we see is
they're all brains
in jars.
Fabulous.
There's another.
Fabulous news.
Yeah.
There's some cryo sleep type ones.
This is not the question.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no.
Great.
It's good to know.
It's nice that I can actually see the results of my experiment.
Yeah.
So I was having a bit of a think.
Yeah.
I started for some reason, my mind was drifting to an M. Night
Shalaman film.
Okay.
A wonderful little, I guess, movie.
It's called, you might have heard about it, The Village.
Oh!
The Village.
And in The Village, I don't know if you know much about it,
but it's an old-timey village.
We are a bunch of people.
The technology does not exist.
We have to churn our own butter and other things.
Milk our own cows.
Welcome to Zanet's struggles to think of one thing to do on a farm.
I know, right?
What do they do with that?
Slaughter your own cows.
Make their own clothes.
Make their own clothes.
Again, technology does not exist.
But the thing that does exist is a boogeyman.
Right.
If they go to the outskirts of the village,
why, there is a big spooky monster who may or may not eat you.
And we're meant to be scared of this.
We set up a watch because, oh, no, we're scared of the monster, whatever.
Sure, okay.
In the big twist of the village, it reveals that it is actually in the now times.
There's cars.
village, it reveals that it is actually in the now times.
And there's cars, and there
is planes, and
the people that
started the village, they were like, we
hate modern life
with all your woke
bullshit.
That's what they say.
Modern society's become too woke.
I'm going to live in the woods.
They got rid of Lara Croft's tits, I'm going to live in the woods. Yeah, technology. They got rid of Lara Croft's tits.
I'm going to live in the woods.
Yeah, I know, man.
Technology, technology.
You made people too liberal, you know?
With your little machines.
Oh, Heimdall's black nails?
See, you're fucking lying.
It's the woods for this guy.
No, thank you.
And so they were like,
all right, let's go to the woods.
And then we're going to have some kids.
And we're going to tell them shit.
We're going to tell them absolutely nothing.
And they dress up like the monsters. And then we're going to dress up kids and we're going to tell them shit. We're going to tell them absolutely nothing. And they dress up like the monsters.
And then we're going to dress up like the monsters and scare them.
And so I was thinking, having a bit to think about that.
And so I think, what would a lovely little vault be like if we tried to somehow instill the idea of a boogeyman, like a monster, and see how myth developed?
Okay, so is there really a monster in the vault?
I don't know yet.
Well, if you're seeing how myth develops,
then there shouldn't be.
Yeah.
Then I guess it's not a myth.
Yeah.
It's a real threat to them.
Yeah, you'd need someone going around in a suit or something.
So it needs to be just like either, you know, like, I don't know,
it's like a vault, whatever, and then it has to have, like,
certain things happen either through happenstance or accidental
and like let's see how like superstition and myth can kind of originate maybe we have this
whole thing of like okay you know i've seen this in something was it by darren brown or another one
of those types yeah one of those darren brown guys yeah, yeah. One of those Darren Brown types. You know, the guys who are like, oh, we're going to do this experiment.
Did you say Dan or Darren Brown?
Darren, the magic boy.
I don't know Darren Brown.
Is it Darren Brown?
Dan Brown wrote the Da Vinci Code.
Yeah, he wrote the Da Vinci Code.
There's an English mentalist, let's say.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yes.
Sorry, I know this person.
I think he also was in an episode of Sherlock Holmes
where one of the inspectors' theories was that he was there
that was like, Watson, look in my eyes.
You're feeling sleepy.
Shush.
And that's what his theory was.
Was that the hypnotist Darren Brown had gotten?
Yeah, had gotten Watson.
Here's the thing I remember.
A bit of a fuck you to the fans, I think.
Oh, it was Benedict Cumberbatch, I see.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
People are silly.
Because there's a thing where he was like, right,
we're talking about myths and superstition and all this kind of stuff,
and they used pigeons and how pigeons are superstitious.
Where is this going?
Are we doing a pigeon vault?
Maybe.
That's what I'm hearing.
Maybe I'm sleepy and these are my side apps firing for maybe the last time.
Maybe you're doing...
We've let him talk pretty uninterrupted this for quite some time.
I'm formulating a plan as I speak.
This is a fun game.
Should you just not have gone first?
As not a host of Pumping the Dust, this is a fun game.
You should play it sometimes.
If you let someone just run into her, dude,
the plan gets crazier and crazier and crazier
until we're making the pigeon vault.
All right, all right, all right.
So I think it's there, but it talks about superstition in
other animals.
Okay.
And one of them
was about pigeons.
And it was this
kind of thing where
it was like, we did
this thing, it was
like a randomization
of like when these
pigeons got fed.
Right.
And the pigeons
were like, no, it
can't be randomization.
And it must have
been when I turned
like.
Pigeon patterns.
And yeah, so the
pigeon was like, oh,
when I turned around
and got food, that
must be it.
That's where I get
And so the pigeon
started doing the
same thing. And so this idea of like proving like, I guess, you know around and got food, that must be it. That's where I get that. And so the pigs decided to do the same thing.
And so this idea of proving, I guess, do other animals have superstition?
Yeah.
And because it's Darren Brown or whatever.
And also religion.
Yeah.
And so this whole thing about either we need to do this thing where there's this countdown or whatever.
There's a big time that counts down.
Oh, okay.
And there's going to be a bunch of crap in the room.
And it's just going to be like, oh, whatever they're doing in there. And then it's going to count down bunch of crap in the room and it's just going to be like whatever they're doing in there
and then it's going to
countdown or hit a certain thing
and then when it hits zero
the doors can open or whatever
and they think whenever it's counting down
they're doing stuff in the room
and the numbers change
and then it's revealed
that what it is
is that there is a fish tank
outside, and whenever a certain
couple of fish go up and down and cross
this one thing, it
counts down. And also, the
doors were never locked.
And they would have gotten a lot more
prize money. I just realized we're not talking about
pigeons. We're not talking about pigeons.
But it has reminded me of that fish that
beat Dark Souls or whatever.
That rules.
Have you seen that fish?
Or maybe it was Elden Ring?
I know of this.
He defeated one of the Elden Ring bosses by doing the same thing.
He would swim into different quadrants of his tank and that would make him move and
he beat one of the Elden Ring bosses.
That's impressive.
What a great fish.
True.
And he don't fucking know.
It's true a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters hours.
That's what that is.
Okay, so what...
So now, using that idea in terms of...
So we do need something in terms of the control,
i.e. something of complete randomness,
maybe it's kind of like how...
Oh, yeah, it's like how certain tech companies,
when they have to have the idea
of a completely and utterly random generated number,
and they use lava lamps and those kind of things.
Yeah, okay, sure.
So they do need something of complete randomness as the control thing
to do something to make the idea, to see how superstition and myth happens.
Haven't quite figured out the sign.
Do you still have a monster?
I infinitely preferred your original pitch of the Vault Overseer
wears a big dark cloak sometimes, calls himself the Night Terror, and they try to –
that's, you know, so feasible to make that.
You just have a vault with some hidden passages and stuff like –
I mean, this new one seems nice as well.
Yeah, fair enough.
So are you imagining –
In terms of what happens at Myth and Sips, okay, yeah, okay.
We'll go back with the Night Terror.
We'll have a vault.
No, I'm sorry.
Now I feel bad.
No, we can do your one.
Adam, I haven't thought of a single thing right now.
David just explained the concept, and that was all he had.
He had them set up with no payoff.
I honestly thought it would come to me.
We can do it.
It has, though.
You said Night Terror Man.
So I was thinking with Night Terror Man, I was thinking the vault could have all these
hidden passageways and places that only the overseer knows about that could allow, you
know, you could do all of these cool things where the Night Terror can appear in two places
at once.
But actually, it's just the guy really quickly going between two places.
But you could do the same thing.
I mean, you could combine that with your other idea as well.
How would you do that?
What other idea?
Yeah, Adam, with what he said before, combine the two.
Sorry.
What I was kind of seeing you saying was that there's an idea
where you're trying to trick people into thinking,
oh, when I walk under this ladder
bird seed comes
out of a wall or whatever.
And what you could do is
you could have the same sort of setup where it's all
hidden stuff and it's the lava lamp thing
and when the lava lamps are in just the right position
bird seed comes out of the
wall or whatever. Or you get jump scared by the night
terror man. Sure, yeah. You could do a whole
mix and you know what?
Honestly, for this experiment, I think you should do a bunch of different things.
So I think you had a great idea, Zalman.
Thank you.
Okay, so okay.
All right, all right.
So is there a sweet reward in Fallout Vault where everyone gets, like, say, a little cupcake or something?
Sure, there can be.
Yeah, some vaults.
There can be.
Yeah, some vaults are nice.
All right, we'll get, like get a little cupcake or something tasty,
a delicious treat or whatever it might be.
Or do we make it something vital like medicine?
Okay, so you develop a superstition
whereby when you do a certain action,
you get medicine, but actually it's random?
Yeah, so basically medicine is accrued at random.
Right. But to do
that, we need to, yeah, get them
like, we put a bunch of stuff
in. I love the idea of like a
completely half-thought-out vault, where
it's like, okay, let's experiment.
You're like, at random, they get medicine
or kicked in the belly.
You're like, what? Or maybe
a cupcake. How? Can I ask how you'd be doing kicking in the belly? I don't, what? Or maybe a cupcake. How?
Can I ask how you'd be doing kicking in the belly?
I don't know.
That was Jackson's idea, really.
I can explain it.
Please, please.
I'd love to hear.
Panels in the wall of the vault have secret boots on, like, sticks
or, like, on a retracted arm
that at random come out and, oof,
kick you in the belly.
Would you feel like...
Would you...
Do you feel...
Yeah. A group of people would be like,
oh, we're going to develop superstitions?
Or do you think it's more likely
that they start tearing the walls apart?
There's great boots in there.
Oh, my God.
They're tearing the walls apart.
The walls are full of boots.
So many good boots for us.
And then the vault sets up as a boot sales store
for the rest of the wasteland.
The boots that they wear in Fallout, they look good. They're good- for us. And then the vault sets up as a boot sales sort of store for the rest of the wasteland. The boots that they wear
in Fallout,
they look good.
Yeah,
good looking boots.
I'd go for those boots.
I'd tear walls apart
for those boots.
Yeah,
could we do maybe like
some sort of
video screen
overseer type thing?
Yeah.
That's going to be
like the big face
like say from like
like 1984.
Okay. Like a big face. Big brother. Okay, big face. All right. Big face to be like the big face, like, say, from like 1984. Okay.
Like a big face.
Big brother.
Okay, big face.
All right.
Big face.
So we've got big face.
What's big face do?
It's like, you know, you need to please me and then you'll get the cupcake.
Okay.
Yeah, sure.
So what are you testing?
What does big face want?
It's never quite clear.
Okay.
People have to make their own, like, doctrine.
What do you want? No, I'm not telling. I Yeah, so Big Face could come on the screen and say, I am Big Face. And you, somebody in the vault has displeased me. And then everybody's like, which one of you pissed off Big Face?
Ah, okay.
And then what we do is we also, we can involve Night Terror Man.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this.
I'll put you out of this. I'll put you out of this. I'll put you out of this. I'll put you out of this. I'll put you out of this. me. And then everybody's like, which one have you pissed off Big Face? And then what
we do is we also can involve
Night Terror Man. For you, Adam.
For you, Adam.
Don't worry. We've got you covered.
Your guy's in there.
Vault Terror Man. Thank God
Night Terror Man is there.
Night Terror Man can go
and abduct somebody in the middle.
So Night Terror Man is acting on behalf of Big Face. But then people aren't like, oh, Night Terror Man can, like, you know, they can go and abduct somebody in the middle. So Night Terror Man is acting on behalf of Big Face.
So then, but then people aren't like, oh, Night Terror Man is random.
Night Terror Man works for Big Face.
Well, again, like, it's up to interpretation, right?
Night Terror Man isn't random.
I just feel like you're giving...
Night Terror Man is random.
Because this is the sequence of events.
Big Face says, somebody at the vault has displeased me. And then Night Terror Man abducts somebody at random. Because this is the sequence of events. Big Face says, someone at the vault has displeased me. And then
Night Terror Man abducts somebody
at random, and everybody's like,
must have been Dave.
What did Dave do?
How are people connecting Night Terror
Man to Big Face? Because Big Face says,
someone's displeased me.
Yeah.
Someone has
displeased me. Someone at the vault has displeased
me. And then a timer has displeased me.
And then a timer comes up on screen.
It counts down randomly.
When you say it counts down randomly, do you mean 10, 8, 12?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It just counts down.
Okay.
It's not in like, you know.
So it just counts down.
There's no randomness to it.
It counts down.
It counts down to a random point.
I know what he means.
It counts down, but it's not like a daytime or a second time.
It's like, oh, it's 10.
Okay, so now it's 9.
Three days go by.
Random increments.
Random increments, exactly.
Neither of us knew.
See?
We need an interpreter.
Keeping you guessing.
Do she usually do that interpreting?
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
Okay, interesting.
Then, okay, that's happening.
And then, so you have to, the idea would be to see what the people would do to try and either stop the timer.
Because sometimes the timer will just stop.
Yeah.
And disappear.
And if the ever timer gets to zero, then we'll say within the next week, Night Terror Man comes in and takes somebody.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
And then.
So it gets to zero and then a week later at least. Within a week. Okay. Okay, okay. And then... So it gets to zero, and then a week later, at least...
Within a week.
Okay, within...
Within the week.
Right.
Within the week.
And maybe he just says, okay, okay, it gets to zero,
and then it just goes, he's like, you've got one week.
Okay.
You have a what in a week?
You know?
And everyone's like, hmm?
One week for what?
Exactly.
And then that week...
Exactly.
And then that week, maybe or maybe not.
It has to be a level of randomness, see?
Because, again, you want to have this idea of people being like,
what is going on?
Why are you still going?
Do you have no one stopped me?
What are you doing?
That's the problem.
So then, and then, and then, yeah, Night Terraman take a random person.
He takes someone at random.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Put them in an incinerator.
I don't know.
Fuck, I don't like it. Rest in peace. Yeah, sure. Or they Put them in an incinerator. I don't know. Fuck, I like that.
Rest in peace.
Yeah, sure.
Or they put them in a different vault.
Some I don't care.
A different vault.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
It's not important.
And then it's just about, yeah, seeing.
What are you testing another vault?
Seeing, yeah, what people will develop in terms of what they will do to stop Night Terror Man.
I think what they will do to develop is to tear the vault apart looking for Night Terror Man at this point.
Okay.
So I'm confused.
Me too, dude.
I'm not going to lie, man.
So Big Face says someone's displeased me.
I was imagining maybe this is crazy.
Maybe this is what could have happened instead, let's say.
And then the Night Terror Man takes someone at random.
And then everybody is like, well, the Night Terror, whoever got taken,
must have been who displeased Big Face.
Good point.
What did they do?
But I like that you introduced a timer.
That doesn't seem connected to what Big Face was saying.
And then someone's taken a week later by the Night Terror man.
It feels like you
in your attempt
to create
an experiment
on how people
would develop myths
and
yeah
wait
what are you testing
what
so is it
will people
develop a myth
how do people
develop myths
yeah
what causes
people to develop
a myth
yeah
he's testing
superstition sorry not myth he's testing was it a myth or He's testing. Superstition, sorry, not myth.
He's testing.
Was it a myth or a superstition?
Well, here's the problem.
Night Terror Man is real.
Yeah.
Night Terror Man does exist.
He steals you and incinerates you.
Yeah, yeah.
He's real.
He's a threat.
Yeah, he is a threat.
So maybe we can't make Night Terror Man.
And this is all somehow based on M. Night Shyamalan's The Village.
Okay, okay, okay.
So it needs to be, okay, we'll strip some,
Night Terran man can't take somebody,
but we need to have this idea that.
He can't.
Is he real?
That would not be allowed.
He can't be.
So maybe it has to be like,
can we now include like a West Wing vault?
Like, you know, kind of like a blue.
West Wing is in like the president.
Okay, you don't go to the
West Wing.
I thought you meant like the President.
This vault
can't go over here. It has the President.
That's what we tell people.
Okay.
So wait, we're telling people it has the
President? Let's say it's Big Face. This is
me in the vault. Hey man, do you think Big Face
is the President?
I think, I mean, it feels like that's the trope, you know?
Bro, I'm so confused all the time.
Yeah, I don't know.
We've got to do something about the Nightman, by the way.
I know, I've been thinking that.
Sorry, the Night Terror.
I don't know how we know his name.
Big Face never references him.
We've got to do something about the Night Terror, man.
Is there a connection there?
Because the timer thing gets to zero, but that's about the Night Terror Man. Is there a connection there? Because the timer thing gets to zero,
but that's not when Night Terror attacks.
When the timer gets to zero, nothing happens.
Night Terror attacks when it hits zero,
or maybe he doesn't attack,
or maybe Night Terror Man is just unincidental.
So why, man, are we pigeons?
I feel heaps like a pigeon right now.
Do you know if we're pigeons or not?
Yeah, I feel heaps like a pigeon right now. Do you know if I'm pigeons or not? Yeah, I feel heaps like a pigeon right now.
It's crazy that someone trained pigeons to do something and was like,
look, they've developed religion.
That's what you did.
You trained a pigeon.
You're an idiot if you think otherwise.
I'm trying to work backwards or sideways.
I don't know what I'm doing.
Trying to work sideways.
Yeah, so in the vaults, you don't want them
to leave the vault? Is that right?
Sometimes. Some vaults, you
don't want them to leave. Some vaults, you do.
In the village.
They don't want to leave the outskirts of
the village. So it could
be like, if you go out of the vault, that's
when the big monsters are out there.
Well, it's not so much that they don't want them to leave
the village. They don't want them to discover technology. Mmm. That's kind of their yeah, the elders don't want people leaving. Okay
You can go into the forest that's fine just don't go
Okay, we have we have I don't like
How's this?
Okay, what do we have?
I don't like Zamed.
I don't like what's going on right now.
It's going to be bad, dude.
Yeah, Zamed's got like a stroke of inspiration from... We don't want the...
A cursed stroke of inspiration.
This is absurd.
We've got to stop him.
Zamed has hijacked this podcast.
Let it ride.
What we have is we...
This is not good.
Let it ride.
Let him cook.
We've got to learn this podcast somewhere.
Hang on.
Let me think it through.
So we have this vault.
And it's kind of old timey.
Okay.
That one's hair is nuts.
So we have this
old timey thing.
So it's like log cabins and everything.
But it's a vault.
It's a vault.
Okay.
All right, sure.
Now it is meant to protect you from a nuclear blast.
It's a fake sky.
Okay, sure.
Let me film.
Let him come.
Yeah, see.
So we have, it's in the vault.
You've got this lovely village.
Okay.
And maybe we'll replicate it.
Get by, Charlie. It's a village now. Okay. Basically, it's a village. You've got this lovely village. Okay. And maybe we're replicating it by a child.
It was a village now.
Okay.
Basically, it's a village.
You've got a bunch of people, and then there is, like,
you've got to be wary of the monsters.
You don't go upstairs, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Because what we then have.
There's an upstairs to the village?
Did he say you've got to be wearing the monsters?
No, wary of.
Wary of.
Wary of.
Okay, okay, okay.
You've got to be wary of those monsters.
You can't go at the outskirts, whatever.
Maybe it looks like it's actually we're not in a vault.
It looks like we're in a beautiful outdoor environment.
Sure.
You don't even need to do it.
So long as you're born in the vault, you don't know what the real sky looks like.
Exactly, right?
And so we tell people, like, you know, the elders or whatever, the overseers,
kind of like, oh, yeah, there's going to be a monster, kind of, you know,
parades outside at the outskirts, whatever.
But if you ever got to those outskirts, there is an entryway to a door.
You open it up and then you're in another vault.
But that's like a regular control vault.
So several things.
First off, now this is all well and good for, you know,
like you've been in the vault for 50 years.
You grew up, all the elders are like, watch out for the monsters.
You know, scary, scary.
The village, yeah.
But the first people to come into the vault
will have been just people from before the bomb.
So what are you doing with the first people?
A.
B.
Yeah.
Why do you keep having an idea and keep going?
That's how ideas work.
Once you have the idea, you explore the idea.
You explore the idea, you double down, you keep going.
Maybe you can do it like the first people go in the control vault.
Yes.
And their kids go into the village with somebody from the control vault
who raises them and says, I don't know what's happening.
I don't know.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't know.
What is this place?
It looks like a real place, and I think there's monsters nearby.
And somebody to have the one educator of all of the children in the vault
where they're like, hey, what's outside?
Could you do this with robots?
You could do it with robots, yeah.
You could even actually...
I suppose you could actually self-select.
The people who sign up for the vault could already, for some reason, want to...
Maybe you don't sell it to them as like,
I'm doing an M. Night Shyamalan's The Village,
but you could be like,
hey, this vault is going to be thrown back to old times past,
so if you want to live the way your ancestors did
and then you can give it a tear of what i thought also go on yeah you can give them the idea to try
and help you with your idea you can give them the people going to that fault the idea of like oh hey
your children are going to naturally be curious about the outside world yeah so we're giving you
the night terror costume and you scare them into staying.
Yes.
Good.
Good.
So I like that.
Yeah.
And also then like, is then in, in, we have, cause you have the upper, upper vault as well.
Yeah.
We're sticking with this.
Okay.
We're sticking with that.
Okay.
And then what we do is like, if they ever enter the, the, the, the, the atrium between the
vaults, what I want is a video to be played.
And then I want to be like, okay, out there,
you've been dead this whole
time.
And when you go
into the next vault...
What are you saying?
We're going to have six cents!
We're going to make a
twist. It wasn't the village.
It was six cents. He's still investing Shyamalan. it wasn't the village It was success Because then
Because then when they go into the next vault
They're gonna think that they've been dead the whole time
What the fuck could you be saying
What are you saying
And then
What the fuck is happening
So they're like
fuck the night terror man
what's out there
they go
they get to the atrium
a video plays
you are dead
you've been dead
the whole time
you're ghosts
you're ghosts
okay
um
and then when they get
into the next vault
they're like
hey fellow ghosts
and then that's gonna be
and then like you know
but your sweet lord of heaven
is in the next room.
Yeah, they go to the next room.
Let's make that, what was the movie where they're all trapped in an elevator
and they think there's a devil.
There was a devil.
There's a devil?
Well, that's easy.
So then we think it's that one.
How do we make it the devil?
I think I'm a ghost.
I actually don't know what's going on.
I turn right back around and I'm like,
let the monster take me.
I fucking hate my world.
Um, okay.
Yeah, what are we doing?
Can I ask what...
Nesting Shyamalan.
The Nesting Shyamalan vault.
What are you learning?
About Night Shyamalan's movies
in the most direct and immersive way.
Once you go through all of them,
you arrive just at the edge
where the big door is
and there's a DVD box set.
Yeah.
Now you've lived them,
now watch them.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh yeah,
we get to watch,
we get to watch Signs.
Yeah.
That's nice.
We have a Signs vault.
M. Night Shyamalan,
before the bombs dropped,
went to Joel Zabit
and he said,
I got a lot of money.
I want to make a vault
where people live my movies. Yeah. And Joel Zabit and he said, I got a lot of money. I want to make a vault where people live my movies.
And Joel Zabit said, hey,
don't even worry about it.
We've already built them.
Construction's underway. We've already broke
ground. Yeah, because you could combine
the village with signs a bit.
Yeah. It'd be so funny
for that to happen and Fam Night John
would want to be like, what movies? And you're like,
oh, the village, the sixth sense, and devil. And he's like, oh. I was hoping you'd do for that to happen and Famiglian wanted to be like what movies and you're like oh The Village The Sixth Sense
and Devil
and he's like
oh
I was hoping
you'd do Glass
oh no
yeah I was really
kind of hoping
what about the beach
that makes you old
old
they get out of the
oh you're proposing
more old now
oh I got that one
so when they say
that you're dead
they go oh no
and then they walk to the next vault
And you've got mirrors where they can see themselves
But they're old
Oh I'm not only am I dead
I'm an old ghost
Damn
Okay this will be my vault
Cause
We gotta escape
We gotta claw our way out
The entire episode can't be this because we gotta escape. We gotta claw our way out.
Please.
Yes, thank you.
It can't.
The entire episode can't be this.
It just can't.
Don't test me.
No, no, no.
It just can't.
I need a lot of space for my vault.
What's right?
I need a lot of space.
Oh, you're not going out of space. No, no, no.
You need a lot of space.
Like a gigantic cavern.
Sure, yeah.
Whatever.
And everybody gets a self-sustaining room where they can press a button and get food.
They get a toilet for pissing.
Okay.
And I'll get families or whatever.
It doesn't matter.
It all comes to my vault.
And all of the rooms are together at first.
We close the door in the vault, and then all of the rooms separate.
So they are hovering somehow in the sky.
And you can see each other, but you can't get
to each other. In just like a void.
In a void. So you're in a house
in a void. You see someone,
you can look, and all glass windows on all sides.
Okay. And everybody else has glass windows
on all sides. Okay. And you can
look and see to your left, there's another family.
To your right, there's another. Behind you, another family.
Below you, another. Glass floors and ceiling. Behind you, another family. Below you, another. Glass floors and ceiling.
Below you, another family.
Above you, another family.
And you can talk to each other, but you can never physically get to one another.
So by phone, I'm guessing?
No, you just yell.
Okay.
You're close enough to be heard audibly, but not close enough to be heard.
What is preventing people from eventually over time figuring out how to transition?
Making like a network of bed mattresses.
Inbreeding.
Yeah.
Oh, inbreeding.
How's that?
Oh, no.
Okay.
That's how that's stopping.
Why are you always doing this?
We have dispensers also.
There's one button that says food.
Little cum dispensers.
Yeah, and one button that says fresh cum.
That's just to keep the bloodlines.
Where are you getting the cum from?
Is there a third one?
You've got to be like a milking, a cumming, and you've got to do that.
That's true.
So somebody else milks them.
Make sure you know which milk you're doing.
Yeah, but how are they all connected?
I've instituted a system of pneumatic tubes that you can see
as you watch from your suspended house
as they come
flies around.
So,
so Jackson,
you
and your partner
and maybe any,
you know,
whatever family
you've come here with,
you're trapped
in one of these cubes.
And you know
that for the rest
of your life,
this is it.
I'm in the cube.
You will die
in this cube. Live by the cube, die by the cube. You will die in this cube.
Live by the cube, die by the cube.
Any future generations will be born, live, and die in this cube.
Yeah, baby.
Why are you having kids?
Well, you're...
Any child you bring will suffer.
Maybe at random, I'll have two of the cubes connect
and then disconnect
as they fly around this void
okay so sometimes there is
transitioning now what's to stop
the people from preventing them from
disconnecting like what's how are they not
how are you preventing them from fucking with your
or they once they connect either yeah
they kind of either just like latch them all on
or they all go into one cube.
Those idiots.
If they go into one cube,
there's not enough room
in one cube
and I'll have snipers
positioned around the void.
Okay, I could imagine
like a robot sniper, sure.
No, that's another vault.
That's a control vault.
They're all trained snipers.
This is good.
I like this.
They are ready to see if anybody's trying to fraternize or connect the cubes.
And what are you trying to find out?
What would happen?
What would go down?
That's a good answer.
Why was I getting the third degree? What would go down if we did a good answer Why was I getting the third degree
What would go down if we did this
No Zamit you can't be like that is a good answer
Adam why didn't you
I don't think it's a good answer
I think this is insanity
What would happen if we made this fault
That's my question
The question I put to you
I assume they'd fight back
That is presumably what's going to happen.
Probably fight back,
or they would die out within the Jack generation.
Also, when a medical emergency happens.
When a medical emergency happens.
When a what?
Sorry, Jack.
When a what happens?
When a medical emergency occurs.
Probably everybody would have a robot in their house, like a surgeon robot. when a medical emergency occurs. Uh-huh. Uh-huh, yeah.
Probably everybody would have a robot in their house,
like a surgeon robot.
Sure, an autodoc or whatever.
They have autodocs, yeah.
They have those autodocs.
This is the only solution thus far
that you have been able to solve with in-universe things.
Maybe if they try and clamp together,
their rooms get further apart. If somebody
does something, if they transgress,
we can move
them further and further away from
the main club. But then how do you know?
How do I know what? They said
if they try to clamp together. I'm watching
the snipers.
They relay it to me.
Okay, so you're alive. I'm there.
I'm both. He's a big face.
Jackson, why are you fighting this?
This is what you are trying to find out.
What would happen?
Yeah.
This is what...
Because if they transgress, that's part of the result.
It's like doing the pigeon experiment.
It's like, can pigeons learn religion?
Yeah.
And then when they start doing little circles to make the feed happen shooting
Fuck a minute. They're trying to game
That's no what's better
Well, then they can clamp together that's fine if we're just letting the experiment run yeah, I'll have all of the snipers
Jackson you're not kill the snipers.
Jackson, you're not killing the snipers.
You're killing some people.
They've not been the snipers yet.
Adam said we have to kill the snipers, so we have to kill the snipers. Hey, snipers, can you come into my office?
I have some real bad news.
Adam, he's a friend of mine.
You know Adam.
He's like my friend.
He's the next Volt over.
He's the overseer of the next Volt over. tried to reason with him but he said no he says i'm not actually doing an
experiment or something so i have to kill you guys i'm sorry i'm real with your last breath
if you want to curse adam yeah that's completely fine okay well then i'll let it run free and they
can clamp together and make a kind of floating cube city if they so desire.
Not a sort of flotilla.
Yeah, that's alright.
That's allowed.
So as the overseer,
where are you?
What are you doing?
How are you viewing this?
I'm above.
Wait a minute.
So they're all above
and below each other as well, right?
How do they...
What's stopping them
from just going up and down?
I suppose nothing.
Well, they're far enough apart
that if they tried to jump,
they would probably die. No. I suppose nothing. Well, they're far enough apart that if they tried to jump, they would probably die.
No.
No.
Not to jump, you maniac.
What if they climbed down whatever's connecting them?
Because you, yeah, what?
You were like, they're just hovering.
Well, maybe they do have little anti-gravity things on them
that are keeping them afloat.
Anti-gravity?
Yeah.
Where's that technology come from?
Or little jets, little engines.
Oh, that are constantly powered?
Yeah, little fans that are keeping them afloat.
That are constantly powered.
Because if you have anti-grav things,
say, for example, I want to break out.
I climb through my window.
I take the anti-grav.
Now my cube, because I'm assuming there was at least four,
now it's a little bit tilted.
Now I have it, so I can control it,
and then trying to move around this void and go visit other people.
Well, let's say it's fans, then.
Like a big fan on the bottom that's keeping it afloat.
Jack!
Or balloons!
Very quickly.
Let's explore this balloon idea.
No, very quickly, I want to go back to the fan thing.
So, you've got the box.
Now, show me where the fan goes.
Under here.
Okay.
In the bottom of the fan.
We have a machine that uses this technology currently.
What machine?
Where does the fan go?
Underneath.
Yeah. That's not not We have a machine
It's a flying machine of sorts
Some kind of helicopter
Where does the fan go?
That's right
No you misunderstand
Do I just?
The fan pushes the air down
I would actually probably have a fan on top and on bottom.
It pushes it down and up.
You must be joking.
The fan pushes the air down.
No, no, you idiot.
You need a fan on every single face so it stays in one position.
You must be joking.
Stays stable.
So we have six fans all going off at once.
It's loud.
I know,
it's as if you could yell
to each other over the voice.
You can not.
This must be a joke.
Also, did you know
that if you do that,
the box will slowly rotate?
That's okay.
Sorry, not slowly.
Do you remember that video
of that woman being airlifted
that one time?
That's how fast it'll rotate.
I guess that'll get it
in the way of the comm tubes, too. Oh, yeah
What if we thought about that's right now you're feeding watering and coming these people
Yeah, are we feeding watery? Well, okay, maybe they are held aloft by what the snipers could do they could fire
What about another ranges of calm?
What about another wonderful film?
They could shoot us a ring of carbon food and butter.
What about another wonderful film?
It's not by Shia LaBeouf.
Can we not?
We escaped this.
It's called The Cube. We were free.
It's called The Cube.
And so in The Cube, there's a big cube,
and in that cube there's many other little cubes.
Each one of those rooms has something going on.
And at random, well, it seems like it's at random,
but it's actually to do with, like, prime numbers.
Maybe I can incorporate prime numbers in my experiments.
Anyway, so when it's to do with the prime numbers,
well, the prime numbers were safe.
I forget.
It happens in the cube in a long time.
Anyway, Hypercube, they introduce an element of time,
and Brian Cox, I think, he eats himself,
and still he's on watch many times.
So what do you want to do?
That's awesome. that's so cool
so why don't you have
a big cube
Xander looks full on crazy
yeah
have a big cube
and then in each of those
you have other little cubes
and then they kind of
move around
yeah okay
and so yeah
you know
sure you've got Gary
as your
your neighbour
as your neighbour one day
and then the next day
oh wow
it's Betty and Veronica.
Okay.
From Archie.
From Archie Comics.
Okay, sweet.
Nice.
That's not allowed.
You can't reference Archie to get Jackson on the side.
And Jughead's there.
And Moose.
And if you want a milkshake.
Reggie.
You can have all the milkshakes.
Pop Steiner's there.
Nice.
Sweet.
And if you want a milkshake Reggie
You can have all the milkshakes
Pop Steiner's there
Nice
Sweet
So then what you
So then it moves at random
Or at a designated
Like pattern that you want
And so then that way
Yeah that you
You never
You have to have a lot of people
Yeah
You never know who you
Who you're gonna meet next
Yeah
I like it
Yeah
I think it's a good idea
Great way to make friends
Good way to make friends
Or like you know
Fair weather friends maybe
Yeah
Or sleeping friends
Say I had to make a friend
And then you get taken by the cube.
You never see them again.
Or like you go visit your neighbor's house and then suddenly goodbye your house.
That's true.
And your husband.
And your kids maybe.
What about, go back to your idea, Adam.
What if it's a vault where we convince everyone.
Which idea?
The night terror man?
They are pigeons.
Oh, Adam's pigeon idea. Oh, my pigeon idea. Adam's pigeon idea. Okay. How are night terror man? They are pigeons. Adam's pigeon idea.
Oh, my pigeon idea.
Adam's pigeon idea.
Okay.
How are we convincing people that they are pigeons?
Like, we're using my old technology with the mirrors.
Every reflective thing, we'll make sure that it will, like, show a pigeon.
It shows a pigeon when they look in a mirror.
The first people who come in, we have to brainwash into thinking they're pigeons.
Yeah.
And that their children will also
be pigeons. We feed them bird seed.
What happens when two people stand in front
of one mirror? Well, no, because it's
like, it's AI.
It's showing you as pigeons.
They see pigeons there. Imagine. They look at each other
and they're like, we're human. But that's saying
pigeon. That is me as a pigeon.
That is, yeah, this is the question I'm asking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, who are you going to believe?
Your lying eyes or the truth-telling mirror?
You and me.
You two both with your eyes.
And then all we do in the mirror, we're like,
you're a pigeon. Flashes up
on screen. We develop a drug.
Okay.
A medicine.
That makes you believe and
see yourself and others as pigeons.
We call it pigeon-all.
That's internally, but we tell everyone it's panadol.
Or good for you all.
Could you do a thing where if we wanted to follow my pigeon theory,
you'd need two vaults, I think.
You'd need a setup.
You need the, I wouldn't call it the control,
but like the command vault where they're in on it.
Because you need, and I think this is a problem that all of us,
with my problems as well,
my problems keep experiencing this issue as well.
We're kind of relying on people to just go with it.
Yes.
And we need someone to be there to push people to go with it.
To enforce.
So two vaults.
Like these snipers.
Yes.
Two vaults.
So one vault is the people who are in on it.
The other vault is the test subject.
Okay.
Now, the first people who come in would be difficult,
but I guess if we invent brainwashing technology,
we can do this.
What you do is the people from the other vault,
it's kind of like their day job.
They put on a pigeon costume.
They go into the other vault.
They're the teachers.
They're the firefighters.
You're doing all of the high-tech sort of jobs or whatever,
the overseer and whatnot.
And then every generation of people that comes along,
they're like, hey, you are pigeons, but you look fucked up.
Okay.
You're a sick pigeon.
Yeah, yeah.
We live in the vault where all of the healthy pigeons live.
You're the sick pigeon.
I was thinking in a similar vein, what if you get that one, like the control group people, they're the teachers, the fire people, all that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
What if you're like, your experiment, and again, it's hard to be like, we've got to go with it.
Okay, we're going to start lying to these people.
Your experiment here is like,
what if you were like, the other vault,
you treated them as if they were pigeons?
That is kind of what I just said.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're not dressing up or anything.
You go down there,
and you're like, well, who's a pretty birdie?
And then you fill up some seed and that kind of stuff, then you leave.
And they're like, why do they keep thinking we're pigeons?
Yeah.
And when they look in the mirror, they see themselves as pigeons.
As a pigeon.
They look back and they're like, we're not pigeons.
You don't look like a pigeon to me.
I don't understand.
And then people come in again and you're like, who's a pretty birdie?
Yeah, you are pigeons.
Are you giving these people, because bird seed, I don't know.
Yes.
If it has quite the nutritional value.
So these people also need presumably clothes and things to live.
Yes, but all the clothes are pigeon costumes.
Are pigeon costumes or feathers.
Or feathers.
Realistic pigeon costumes.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm just trying to make your dream come to life.
Yeah, no, thank you.
Thank you for helping me out on this.
Could you also, another vault idea.
I was so scared that we were going to be lying.
I don't know why.
Yeah, no, I was so scared that we were going to be lying to the command vault.
Yeah.
And then we would need to create another command vault of people who can do the job or lie to them.
I was scared of nesting command vaults, basically.
He's like, you've got to tell these other people over here they are pigeons.
Yeah, yeah.
And treat them as if they were pigeons these other people over here they are pigeons and treat them
as if they were pigeons.
Convince them
they're pigeons.
So I suppose
what we'd be getting
out of this,
because this is my idea
and I need to explain
what we're getting
out of this.
I was curious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I suppose for a vault
of tricking people
into thinking they're pigeons
with pigeon costumes
and whatnot,
is belief powerful enough
to help you fly?
And then we can have some sort of cliff face
where they can jump off and try and fly.
We don't push them to do anything.
But if it's there.
Yeah, it's just there.
If they reach a point where they believe enough
that they are a pigeon,
that they attempt to fly.
I feel like some people might eventually be like,
am I?
Yeah, absolutely.
Try and fly.
I was thinking to add more story to yours
because I think this could be fun. Yeah, to my I was thinking to add more story to yours,
because I think this could be fun.
Yeah, to my idea, yeah.
What if we had, like, some of them were pigeons,
and then, like, we convinced them to be pigeons,
and we have another group that were, like, in the same thing.
Yeah, in the same vault.
The same vault.
And, like, some of them were like, oh, you guys are pigeons,
but others were like, you guys are crows.
Oh, okay. And then we can see if some of them, like,
a Romeo and Juliet story will develop
and maybe a pigeon will fall in love with a crow
and to see if human connections like love can transcend birds.
I think that it sounds quite a bit like you've become convinced they are pigeons.
And I think that's fabulous.
Chromio and Pidgeot.
I think that's quite clever.omio and Pidgey-esque. I think that's quite clever.
I'm quite amused with that.
Thank you very much.
This is why we work together.
We make an amazing vault.
Yeah, this is how we work together on my idea of a pigeon vault.
I was wondering, and this is maybe more like...
I figured, is the crow idea mine as well?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, sure.
And this is another one of your ideas.
And this is maybe
more like a prank
than a vault.
I feel a lot of these...
This entire thing feels kind of like a prank
on me, but yeah, go on.
So the idea is we get the vault
inhabitants, and we over generations
convince them they are
gigantic. This is good!
So slowly shrinking items are
introduced yes exactly and we're like you're huge to the point where the vault that they live in
is like the size of a city simulated to the best of our ability or a landscape and they have become
convinced they are these giants once again you're asking for a lot of room. Vault-Tec HQ is very mad at how much real estate.
Jackson, did you know how many vaults we could put in the space of your one vault?
But the prank?
Also, your sniper request seems insane to me.
What if we flipped it?
We make them think they're little.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
I feel like this is the same amount of space.
Yeah, you're kind of doing the same thing, just in reverse.
But then anyway, once we have fully convinced these people that they are either titans or that they are minuscule, we open the vault.
I was thinking this.
I love this.
What the fuck?
I'm normal, Si?
No.
What the fuck?
The world got big.
I guess the world grew with me?
What the hell?
I think that could have been an actual vault.
Yes!
All right.
Especially if you're doing the,
because the actual vault,
when they're working as intended,
the only control vault we've seen
opened after 20 years.
That was how long they were supposed to,
if you were making the vault for the actual purpose, it's 20 years. And that how long they were supposed to... If you were making the vault
for the actual purpose,
it's 20 years.
And that is
less than a lifetime.
So those same people
could have come out
and then we couldn't...
Well, they wouldn't have been like,
wow, the world got big.
They would have been like,
they tricked us.
How would they do that?
I thought I was huge.
I'm just normal size.
Just like long enough.
Basically, yeah,
that's long enough for them to have remembered what it was like.
Could you do it so you don't have the whole space issue?
Yeah.
You just make it like slightly smaller than normal.
Oh, okay.
Right.
It's like only say, you know, like it's like three quarters of the size.
Yeah, okay.
So like a can is like a big can.
It's like a little big or a little small.
I think the problem with that is,
now if I put in front of you a can that was three quarters the size of this,
you would not immediately be like, I got big.
Well, I know, right?
And so that's the thing.
You'd be like, that's a small can.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's like everything is proportionate except for you,
and then you open the vault and everything is a small can. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like everything is proportionate except for you. And then you open the vault and everything is just normal size.
Yeah, yeah.
It just feels like maybe it's a similar kind of vibe that would prank people.
Yeah, yeah.
But you're not using as much space.
It's a more insidious prank, too, because you come out and you'd be like, how big am I?
You know what I mean?
Right.
Do you have any vault ideas, Adam, that aren't pigeon-based?
I really don't, actually.
Fair enough. I think I did
once.
Do you have an idea Adam?
God do I have to? It's not pigeon based
or like about being tiny and then
involving movies.
So I guess
when we first started this
my idea was like oh what if we
had someone in virtual reality
like you step in and in
Fallout 4 for example yeah they do a thing where they're like hey you got to
do just a quick test and then after the test will let you into the vault proper
the test is you get frozen for 200 years yeah it's not actually a good prank yeah
we do a similar thing but instead of getting frozen you get put into a
simulation so the visor comes down. They're like
we're testing your eyes or whatever. The visor comes down
and the simulation begins. You're not
getting out of the pod. You're just being shown
you're getting out of the pod. And then
maybe we do that as like a 20 year
one and then you know you live
your 20 years in the vault and then at the end of the
20 years we open you up and
we're like alright we're living in virtual
reality. Okay. Kind of like isn't that a 20 years, we open you up and we're like, alright, we're living in virtual reality due to a human being.
Isn't that a vault?
There is a vault where you are
in virtual reality.
It's not a virtual reality vault.
It's a vault where you go to a little town.
Yeah, so that is the equivalent
of Operation Paperclip
in the Fallout universe.
There is a German scientist, I think his name is something like
something Von Braun or whatever. He was one of the lead designers on the Fallout universe. There is a German scientist, I think his name is something like, something Von Braun or whatever.
He was one of the lead designers on the Vaults.
Vault-Tec were like,
and what would you,
and we're making-
What's your Vault?
Yeah, what Vault would you like to live out
the rest of the apocalypse in?
And he's like,
I want a Vault to torture people in.
Okay.
And so his,
his isn't really an experiment,
he just wanted to torture people.
Can we, is it-
Mine is an experiment
similarly based on, but actually the people
come out eventually and then we just see
what being in virtual reality did to you.
Could you do a thing where you
and this is kind of torture.
You kind of make the matrix.
Yeah, yeah.
A bit, yeah.
I guess I want to see what happens when you really do the matrix.
Does time, can you fuck with time with virtual reality?
Yeah.
I think so, yeah.
So could you do a thing where they go in?
Well, in the Fallout universe, I think so.
With what we've been doing, whatever.
Okay.
We're making pigeon holes.
If you talk about, like, in terms of the Matrix, like, yeah,
they fuck with time all the time.
So what you do is you go, we're just testing your eyes, motherfucker.
Are you a doctor?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're testing your eyes.
What?
And then the eyes are on and it's too late.
And then...
Goodbye.
We make them live out birth to death.
Yeah.
And then when they take them off,
no time is passed.
Can we?
I was asking that question. We're like, oh, oh.
And we're like, motherfucker, it didn't work.
Aren't you going to put these back in your fucking eyes?
Yep.
Another life.
See what happens.
See, I was thinking, so what are they experiencing?
Are they experiencing a virtual reality of, say, for example, living in the vault?
I would say living in the vault, yeah.
Because I was like, could we?
Well, you could do whatever.
Maybe.
You could be like, oh, yeah, we're just going to test your eyes.
We put them on, and then they blink, and they open up,
but they're a cow in a field.
That's for 20 years.
See what happens.
Maybe you could combine all three ideas where it's like, you know,
they put the thing in, you live life to death in a minute or a moment,
whatever.
You take it off.
Jackson, Dr. Bailey, you're still there.
You're like, oh, sorry, it didn't fucking work. Put them down. You're a cow now, life to death. Life to're still there you're like oh sorry it didn't fucking work
put him down
you're a cow now
life to death
life to death
oh I'm so sorry
put it down
you're fucking it up somehow
oh my god
this is your fault
what the fuck
put it back in
they live all in
my show
I'm as the village
yeah yeah
birth to death
they take it off
you're
an old lady
you live out
just a day in her life
She slips down the stairs
Falls, dies
What are you doing?
You're fucking it up somehow
You stupid motherfucker
You're wrecking the fucking experiment
This is different to what I was saying
It's becoming more in line though
With what we've been doing so far
Why are you ruining this for me?
You're wrecking the fucking experiment
Oh my god
You dumb bitch
Piece of shit
Experiment?
See you later!
You close it down!
This was an eye test!
Goodbye!
See ya!
They lived from birth to death if they were little?
Yeah!
They lived from birth to death if they were a boy?
Yeah, in the end we, and once that's done, we're like, okay, everything seems all good,
welcome to the vault.
That's what the metrics should have been on.
And then, and then they go, you're free to go, and then we show them the door, they leave,
and they live their whole life in the wasteland, they die, they open it up, they go, oh, I'm
gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna
die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die,
I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna
die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die,
I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die,
I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I Everything seems so good. Welcome to the vault. That's what the metrics should have been on. And then they go, you're free to go.
And then we show them the door,
they leave,
and they live their whole life in the wasteland.
They die,
they open it up,
they're like,
well done, alright.
Do the wasteland like a couple times.
Make them unsure.
Wasteland a couple times,
living in the vault like normal a couple times.
And then when we finally take it off,
it's just a regular vault with nothing wrong with it.
At all.
But every single person in there
is insane.
Is that what we did? We have driven them all vault with nothing wrong with it at all every single person in there we have
driven them all to they can no longer trust the test could be how long until
you go insane yeah that's true or to see what happens when yeah when given the
like how many levels of like virtual reality until you start showing levels
of psychosis yeah What about this?
What about the test is
it's like a, you know, you see those
ads on porn sites that's like,
bet you can't come. See if we can find
a game that you have to come to.
That's the only way out.
The only way out is you have to come.
You have to come. Come to escape.
Come to escape. Come to escape.
Okay.
Come escape.
I think these are great ideas.
And we combine that one with your funny thing,
how they get the tubes out.
Oh, perfect.
It's a perfect system.
Perfect system.
Oh, yeah.
I think Fallout.
I'm sorry.
I feel like I dominated this.
We did like three of my ideas.
I know.
No, that's okay.
You were the guest. Yeah. You were the guest, so of course three of my ideas. No, that's okay. You were the guest.
Yeah.
You were the guest, so of course we did your ideas.
Yeah, we did.
I'm happy to take a back seat.
Exactly.
So you can creatively stretch your legs.
Yeah.
Anyway, I don't know why, but I feel like I've got to go outside and scream.
Well, okay.
We'll wrap up so you can do that.
Thank you.
Well, on that note, I've been Jackson Bailey.
I've been Joe Zavis.
I've been Adam.
See you in the wasteland, pal.