Plumbing the Death Star - Which Villain Could You Conceivably Take in a Fight? (Ft. George Dimeralos)
Episode Date: January 21, 2018In which our heroes are joined by George Dimeralos to ask the hard hitting question; which villain could you conceivably take in a fight??Join our brand new facebook group here; https://www.facebook.c...om/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: sanspantsradio@gmail.comTwitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammitGeorge: twitter.com/thegdima Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey, everybody, and welcome to this week's episode
of Plumbing the Death Star,
where we ask the important
questions like, which villain
could you conceivably take in a
fight?
Mrs. Doubtfire.
Whoa! Started strong,
Jesus! Whoa!
Because arguably I would say that Mrs.
Doubtfire is the villain of that story.
Yeah, okay.
Because it's like.
I'm just bringing your own issues to this, but okay.
Neglect, like, you know, first off, he's just neglectful of the kids and the mother to begin with.
And then just tries to kind of weasel his way into their lives again under a ruse.
Yeah.
Which is just kind of just creepy and insidious on so many different levels.
It's just kind of just creepy and insidious on so many different levels.
I really tend to feel sorry for, like, Pierce Brosnan character because he clearly is trying.
And then there's just Mrs. Doubtfire there just undermining the whole thing.
But I reckon I could easily smack Mrs. Doubtfire in the face.
Remind me how's Robin Hood having his shoe?
I don't know if you could.
That's a bold...
It's a heavyset man, let's remember, that we're dealing with.
But it's a heavy set man
Robin Williams
Wrapped up in an old woman costume
And is the old woman costume
Like padded
Yeah I was going to say
That might give extra layers
Of protection
Exactly
It's got protection and everything
Hey in that movie
He doesn't look like a lightweight
I've got to be honest
In terms of taking in a fight
I would
Yeah
Does that movie end with
Robin Williams
He gets back with his family
And his wife
No
Surely not
No
Does he go to jail
Yeah
Does he go to jail I'm, does he go to jail?
I'm pretty sure there's a court scene where the judge is like
the fuck were you thinking?
You monster. That's good.
One of those things where it's like, oh but it's over with kids.
Oh, alright then.
Mother says she's learned something
then this is totally fine.
I think everyone's like this is the last one.
It ends with him getting a job
as a TV
personality person,
but as Mrs. Doubtfire.
Okay.
Really?
Yeah.
That's very strange.
That is a strange...
All right, so, look, established villain.
One of the early bastions of transgenderism, Mrs. Doubtfire.
Yeah, it really was.
Yeah.
All right, so, established a villain.
Yes.
How do you intend to go about attacking Mrs. Doubtfire?
Yes. So, what intend to go about attacking Mrs. Doubtfire?
Yes.
So, what is my parameters here?
Could I, like, sneak up behind Mrs. Doubtfire with a chopping block?
Yeah.
And just cold clock her over the head?
You could try.
I still don't know if that would stop it, to be honest. I feel like we've got to establish some rules.
Is it a one-on-one fight, you v. the villain?
That's what I was originally thinking, but I guess if you're saying any way,
just can you take them?
Can you kill them?
Can you defeat them?
Fuck anybody.
I could take out Godzilla if I have the right equipment.
You really think so?
Oh, maybe not me.
Me and a team.
Yeah, because I reckon I'm a bit more zippy than Mrs. Doubtfire.
You're saying in a ring against Godzilla, you've got no chance.
Look, if it's me and Godzilla, hell in a cell, rage in a cage, I'm dead
But like you know
If it's you, Godzilla and you have a team
There's a chance
The only reason I'd win is
Because nobody can put a cage big enough
For everyone to watch
Win by default
Not a mission
Win by architecture
You enter the cave,
like Godzilla come in the cave.
Oh, he caught,
got him.
Ladies and gentlemen,
King of the Ring.
All right, so.
So I guess it's like
a Thunderdome style deal.
So I reckon I could probably
climb better than
Mrs. Doubtfire.
That's true.
Because what was the,
what was his actual name
in that film?
Like Mrs. Doubtfire.
Mrs. Robin Williams Doubtfire.
Jack is a movie Robin Williams has been in.
Seems like it could be a Jack.
I think it's good.
No, his name is Daniel Hillard.
Of course.
Daniel Hillard is going to be hampered by the Mrs. Doubtfire costume.
Yeah.
So I reckon I could easily go around that and wrassle Mrs. Doubtfire to the ground.
Yeah, it's basically... And get a couple of elbows in the face. It's got to be, yeah, like a couple of people'sassle Mrs. Doubtfire to the ground and get a couple of elbows in the face.
It's got to be like a couple of people's
elbows into Mrs. Doubtfire.
I'd definitely like to push
Mrs. Doubtfire onto
the ground, climb the cage, and then just
like land. An extra padding
would be good for me.
My elbow wouldn't be
in pain as much. Plus, I don't want to go dark
here, but you've already got their soft spot.
I mean, you know, he cares for his kids.
He does.
That's true.
So he's threatening the children.
Oh, no, that might get like mama slash data rage.
You know what I mean?
But you might be able to put the fear in of being like, hey, look, if you don't forfeit,
I'll just tell the cops what you're doing.
That's exactly.
That's a good point.
Emotionally win. Yeah.
I'm looking at a picture of Mrs. Doubtfire right here.
Just trying to get like a sense
of the padding. It's full on.
Yeah, there's a lot of padding.
I don't know if you've selected to all.
That's good. So I guess
I was going to go to very far lengths to get
what he wants. Yeah, that's true.
And also it does have, like it's still Daniel's
hands. Yeah.
So those big meaty hands are going to be smacking my face. Yeah, that's right. And also, it does have, like, it's still Daniel's hands. Yeah. Yeah.
So those big meaty hands are going to be smacking my face.
Yeah, that's right.
I can't imagine you kneeling down over and being like,
Hey, your kids, I'll tell the cops and you'll never get to see them again.
And then you're just destroyed by his papa rage.
Yeah.
But even if you lose, you already know that Mrs. Downfire is really whatever his name is.
So Daniel Hillard.
So it's a moral victory when you do tell the cops one way or the other.
It's just going to be an interesting initial fight.
With the audience being like, why is this young man beating this nana?
And then when the makeup starts being clawed off and everything,
everyone's like, the fuck is going on?
Ripping that old woman's face off.
It's not an old woman.
What?
It's not an old woman.
So he can't see his kids, right?
Explaining the plot of this is down fire if you beat the shit out of him.
So he can't see his kids,
but he thinks that maybe if he was their nana or no housekeeper, that's the one.
Smack, smack, smack.
Everybody's just going like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He would be part of their...
He's lying to his children.
He's lying to his children.
He's a bad bloke.
Oh, my God.
I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm not going to interrupt.
Look, he seems like he's got this under control.
How are you going to let him go?
Yeah, yeah.
So I reckon I could take Mrs. Doubtfire pretty easily.
I think if you're clever about it and you strategize.
See, if I was going to go for like a Mrs. Doubtfire type character,
I'd probably go for...
Okay.
I'm just trying to think now.
What about like the Meryl Streep character in Devil Wears Prada?
Oh, yeah. I feel like if I was going toep character in Devil Wears Prada? Oh, yeah.
I feel like if I was going to choose an older woman type character.
That's a great choice.
That is a good choice.
I feel like I could take that definitely.
However, in the Devil Wears Prada defense,
so like how we could say things to Mrs. Doubtfire
that are scathing and emotionally traumatize Daniel.
I feel Devil Wears Prada lady would just emotionally ruin me.
She'd just do a quip about what I'm wearing
and I'd be like, oh my God, it is like four seasons ago.
I didn't even know this was ever in a season.
You'd bring back your fist to punch and she'd be like,
that's how you're doing it?
And you'd be like, well, did I do it wrong?
She'd be like, well, you have to ask.
So in this case, she wins the moral victory by the sound of it.
Exactly. If you can get over her scathing comments and properly punch her in the face
everyone's holding up at the end like you won and you're like yeah
so damn it meryl
i like that that's Meryl Streep
not Miranda Priestly
but it's very funny
now it's like you snuck
onto the set
and started
Devil Wears Prada, that's the movie we're making
yes, I'm gonna beat you up
what?
security, no!
I've assembled a cage.
I've got this.
This has been a long time coming.
It was years method for Joan of Arc.
I don't know if she did that.
Sarah, I don't know if you're remembering this correctly at all.
Okay, so what do we think?
Zamet V.
Mrs. Doubtfire
V, Devil Wears Prada
V, Devil Wears Prada
No holes barred
Hell in a cell, rage in a cage
I reckon you win, I reckon you come out on top
I don't think so, especially if they've got a double team
happening
I thought it was a free-for-all, they're teaming up on me
Yeah, one's emits belting you
and the other one's words assaulting your subconscious.
It's probably, yeah,
like they team up,
they beat you up,
but then Miranda Priestly is like,
you're just a guy pretending to be
like a house cleaner to get it,
and then they fight,
and Devil Wears Prada wins.
That's what always happens in the end.
Miranda Priestly always wins.
Miranda Priestly comes out on top.
Rightfully so.
Yeah, look, she's an important lady.
All right, look, okay, I lost that round.
Fair enough.
I'll concede defeat.
I'm emotionally and physically traumatized.
Elmer Fudd.
He's just a dumpy little bald guy.
But he is borderline indestructible, though.
Oh, he's a loony, dude.
I'm a man
You're in big trouble I think
All I gotta do is rabbit season, duck season
And I'm good
Yeah but a gun's allowed in the ring
Oh no they probably shouldn't
No holds barred
No holds barred
Elmer Fudd's gotta bring his gun
That's his signature weapon
Yeah yeah yeah
But surely he's just gonna like make my face all sooty
And then you know like
well you're not a
Looney Tune though.
Yeah.
These things actually
harm you.
Just get shot in the
head.
Oh great Helen is
so raging.
Oh my God.
Elvis is like oh my
God that's what
actually happens.
What the hell.
Well no.
They actually killed
a guy.
Just so you could do
an Elvis Ferdinand
impression.
I think so.
Largely, yes.
Or is it just to be like,
whoa, I'm making man stew now.
I'm hunting Jacksons.
Be very, very quiet.
But like, look, get a picture.
It's useful to get a picture of your
opponent. Let's look at a picture of
Elmer Fudd. Okay.
He's just a bald baby looking man.
He's got a gigantic head.
In this particular photo
I found of him, his gun is floppy like a
flaccid penis. Yep.
Whenever I can get a picture of Elmer Fudd naked,
I'm looking forward to being
upset. Just so I can get
a sense of the man's physique, you understand?
Yeah, like he's quite dumpy
and he, again, he's an old man. Yeah, you understand? Yeah, like he's quite dumpy. And again, he's an old man.
Yeah.
You know, like, and he looks quite nervous.
It's hard to-
Some of the shots, sometimes he's very, some would say overconfident.
A feeling is he's half the time, that's what he spends.
It's very hard to discern the age of Alma Fudd.
So looking at Alma Fudd nude?
Let's see if we can find some horrible Horrible pictures
How old do you think Alma Fudd is?
See I want to say 50
But he's out hunting
I would have said more in the 30s
Like the early 40s or something
Although he does seem to have a lot of time for leisure
He could be like 60
But he could also be 20
And just has like alopecia
Or something
And a serious speech impediment
Why can't I find a picture of Alma Fudd nude?
I'm so shocked that I can't
Yeah, I know
What if I just search in Alma Fudd wang?
Is that going to get me anything?
Alma Fudd cock
Let's just go for it
Let's just find
This is bullshit
I found a picture of Alma Fudd with pentagrams on his palms
The internet is letting us down
Yeah, it really is
It's exceeding in its own way
Yeah, well, look
We know Almofad is a man who is out of shape
We know Almofad is a man who is not clever
And we know Almofad is a man whose body
Like, doesn't properly have bones
He has a gun, that's the only downside
But
If, like, guns are not allowed
Could he smuggle a gun in?
I don't think he's that clever enough, though.
No, he doesn't seem like he's... Yeah.
Plus, if he shoots me, I'm dead.
And I didn't think that was the end goal of any
of these fights. No. So you're
saying he's not gonna shoot you because that's not the rules?
Yeah, he'll play within the rules, right?
So maybe he'll just take out the kneecap
or something. He has to play with... He's a very...
He's a rule-following person. Yeah, absolutely. Ducksies and rabbitsies. He has to play with, he's a very, he's a rule following person.
Yeah, absolutely.
Ducksies and rabbitsies.
He won't go against whatever it is not.
That's true.
He's a rule follower.
Yeah, exactly.
So if I'm like, look, there's no guns allowed and you can't kill me.
Well, he's going to be like, well, that's the case, I guess.
And then.
So then what can he do?
Can he get a big mallet?
Tiny fist.
Yeah.
It's just, I'm thinking like pugilist style, old timey boxes.
You and Elmer Fudd, one-on-one, you kick his ass. Yeah, I'd destroy him Pugilist style, old timey boxes. You and Alma Fudd, one on one, you kick his ass.
Yeah, I destroy him.
Oh, wait, you?
Imagine, put up your hand, I'll punch your hand.
That's how strong I am.
Is that what you're doing?
Ooh.
Alma wins.
Damn it.
You don't know how strong Alma Fudd's punches are. I don't know how strong
Alma Fudge Punch is
I don't know how strong Alma Fudge Punch is
But he's got discipline
He's out there hunting on the weekends
We can look at his body and be like
It's a dumpy boy
But that could be like a dumpy boy at 50 or 60
That's true
He knows how to use his physique
And he has fought
Basically
Bugs Bunny and Donald Duck.
Not Donald Duck.
Daffy Duck.
Fuck.
His whole life, and he's still alive.
Yeah.
So he's a man who knows...
Yeah, fuck.
Yeah, he's got like...
I might get the shit beat now.
I'm going to be honest.
You haven't picked well, I don't think.
He might have old man strength as well.
Yeah.
I'm afraid, like, you know, regardless of whether or not he looks
dumpy, you're right.
He's out in the woods, surviving, tracking, moving.
I spend most of my time asleep.
Asleep or online looking up naked pictures of Almofod.
So, yeah, I have Almofod cock now just in my search history.
Yeah.
And honestly, by the end of the fight He might be shoving that
Into you anyway
Just to rub it in
Yeah
I'm looking up
Alma fat erotica
Because he might just have
Like you know like
When people like
Old man body
Where they're still kind of like
Real muscly
But they kind of get that
Paunch thing going on
Yeah
When their kind of muscles
And skin lose that
Elasticity
He's going to just
Just picturing old men naked
Yeah
Everyone
Picture an old man naked. Everyone,
picture an old man naked.
Someone you know preferably.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, your grandpa,
an old man you just know.
Yeah, like a neighbor.
Just, you know,
yourself aged a lot.
And imagine that person naked.
It's not great. But,
if they've been working out
all their life.
Well, you know,
like old man strong.
Yeah, that's a thing. Is that a thing? Old man strong. I don't know man strong life Well you know like old man strong Yeah that's what I'm saying
Is that a thing?
Old man strong
I don't know man strong
I don't know old man strong
Like what the mythical 60 year olds
Yeah
Is that a thing?
Think like Clint Eastwood right?
Yeah
In Gran Torino
That's a strong old man
Strong old man.
He seems tough, but I don't know about strong.
I reckon he could beat the shit out of Jackson.
Oh, yeah, you've got to remember.
Maybe not you.
You're in a lot better shape than us.
Look at that strong old man.
Yeah, but that's a muscly old man.
Is that what you mean when you say old man strong?
Yeah.
That wasn't what I was meaning, but yeah.
I'll pay it.
Well, if I type in strong old man,
maybe I'll type in strong old man cock.
See what I get.
This is degenerating quickly.
Delving deep into the subconscious now.
What do we think?
Rage in a cage, hell in a cell, Jackson Bailey versus Elmer Fudd.
One-on-one, completely nude, oiled up like it's the Olympics
in ancient Greek times, who wins?
Unnecessary detail, but
let's add it in
Do you want us to describe the
fight?
I grab Elmer Fudd by his squishy
pale shoulders and drive my knee
deep into his chest
He reaches his stubby, chubby
sausage fingers into
my man-mate.
Anyway.
Stop with this erotic.
Now that you're adding oil to the fight,
he's going to be extra slippery.
But so am I!
I just think
it makes it fun.
I've given him and me an odd fair advantage. I just think he makes it fun You've given I've given him and me
An odd pair advantage
I just think
He might be more zippy than you
Yeah
I think you're right
I think he's faster than me
And he cares more
He wants to win
He's clearly
He's hungry for it
I want to go back to bat
Yeah
Because he's been like
Had nothing but defeat
For the last 40 years
Against Bugs and
He's hungry
Daffy
That's true.
He needs a win.
He's got a lot of impotent rage.
Oh, he has so much impotent rage.
He absolutely would.
As far as, well, I don't know.
If it doesn't hit him and Wile E. Coyote,
I think it would be more,
actually, Wile E. Coyote would just rip you to shreds.
Wile E. Coyote is a coyote.
And access to Acme Dynamite.
Exactly.
That's true.
He's got a lot of that.
Yeah, I don't want to fight Wile E. Coyote
I'm happy to just fight Elmer Fudd
But again I'll concede that maybe this is a loss for me
Yeah I think he'd be choking you out
And yelling fuck you die boss
His pale sweaty knees
And thighs on either side of my neck
His damp bulge
Resting on my chin the heady odor into your face as he breathes
of masculine
entering my nostrils
jackson it's time to hang on on. I'm hunting rabbits. Yield. Yield.
Yield, bitch.
I will cry, uncle.
I am good.
Scream higher.
Come on.
Scream.
Scream for them, Jackson.
Please.
What did you say?
Please.
Please.
Let the people in the black seats know.
Come on.
I don't think everyone heard you.
Terrifying. I didn't think everyone heard you. Terrifying.
I didn't realize how terrifying his voice is.
I chose a scary opponent.
Yeah.
You, Mrs. Doubtfire, Miranda Priestly in the sidelines drinking your water being like,
we made the right choice.
Very terrifying.
Just a trash talk before the fight.
You'd be very worried as that happens.
I'm going to destroy you jackson oh boy
i'm gonna make you my little bitch
terrifying yeah that's okay lose lose ding ding that's me dad yeah all right george
well look i've you guys i i was trying to go for just, I thought, size-wise. Okay.
Yeah, sure.
I was going for odd job in the Bond villain, the well-known Bond villain.
Okay.
But then I actually started realizing most of the Bond villains from my memory are old men.
I could probably take most of them in a one-on-one ring-style fight.
That's a very good point.
I feel like- Especially, like, even-
Is Blofield in a wheelchair?
Is he?
At one point, maybe. This guy wants me after the wheelchair.
I didn't pick the guy in the wheelchair, but if we're going to go there, yeah, alright.
You know what?
Mano, oh, Mano.
Let's go.
Blofeld, you're on.
No!
We're all roiled up.
I reckon you lose.
We're all up again and naked.
That's the important thing.
Because I think Blofeld just wheels himself into you into the side of the cage.
He's been in that wheelchair a long time.
I was going to say, but even if that's one where even if I win, I think public relations
wise, I'm in big trouble.
You become the villain of this.
I'm imagining you're like, I think it's like Wolverine, maybe one of the Wolverine origins
where there's that big like cage that he fights in somewhere in Canada.
Yeah.
Yeah, that.
That's where I'm imagining all of this taking place.
Surrounded by angry lumberjacks is kind of how I'm imagining it going down.
People cheering on.
Okay, yeah.
So it would not go, yeah.
So I could feel people would turn against me pretty quickly.
There'd be a lot of hate in the crowd.
Take an old man in a wheelchair.
But maybe that'll fuel you.
Maybe.
Just get the bloodlust.
The old man in a wheelchair blood But maybe that'll fuel you. Maybe. Just get the bloodlust. The old man in a wheelchair bloodlust.
I'm not sure if Blofield is in a wheelchair,
but I'm happy to kind of...
There's got to be a villain in a wheelchair at some point.
So either way, that person...
Who's a villain in a wheelchair?
You could just pick up the wheelchair and go to town on the guy's legs.
Yeah, if Blofield's in a wheelchair,
because that's how they drop him in the smokestack.
All right, then.
Yeah.
All right.
So tip him out of his wheelchair,
pick it up and crush his legs further.
I mean, that's the thing.
Teach him a lesson.
Irony?
I don't know if that is.
Just more insult thing.
Look, as you can't feel it, it's just more to get your own aggression out at this point.
It's to increase the booze from the crowd.
Really, at that point.
That's when you've accepted you are the villain now
in the next round it's me
against you guys
the responsibility
sure if you hate me let's make you fucking
hate me
own it
I've seen Wrestlemania the villain's always the best
everyone loves him the most
this is the greatest role I could have chosen
your boobs just make me
struggle
they're my fuel
they're my vitamin
do you want me to keep
rolling this wheelchair
you should
just kind of roll over
don't make me start
hitting it with his legs
oh fuck
yes please
but strategy wise
getting Blofield
out of the wheelchair
is like pulling a
hermit crab
out of its shell
all of a sudden
it's so weak
because it's
all of Blofield's powers are in that wheelchair.
That's true.
You've got to turn his weapon against him.
Because until that happens,
it's kind of like being in there with a bull.
You know what I mean?
He's going to wheel up to you.
You've got to dodge out of the way.
Yeah.
I wonder what the quickest somebody's been in a wheelchair is.
Like, with that much run up,
what damage could he do if he slammed you into the side of the cell?
It does sound like, I don't know what kind of
What kind of maneuverability he has in that situation
Yeah, I was gonna say, he's an old
Again, he's kind of an old man
So I don't know if he's gonna have that much strength to ram
Yeah, that's true
You know, you without you moving out the way
Ah, here's a problem though
So, Alma Fudd, we know he's a man who plays by the rules
But Blofield is
yes that's that's so you might go to attack him but then realize it's a body double and the whole
thing explodes that's that's the kind of trouble you're facing it's actually just you know jaws
in the wheelchair yeah or it's james bond himself he's like it's a. It's all a ploy, George. But you're the trap.
This doesn't make sense.
We have to work together to get out.
Shut up, Bond.
Smack him in the face.
Smack him in the legs with the wheel.
Low field, you're in the crowd, you fool.
I have to win this.
I'm the villain now.
God damn it.
Yeah, so there's always a risk of that.
But I guess if, you know, if the Mounties and the...
Mounties?
If the Lumberjacks...
Mounties should not be allowing this.
If the Lumberjacks are like, we've checked in.
It's a time off.
It's fine.
We've searched the wheelchair for bombs or whatever.
A Mountie would be a hilarious villain, just for a side note.
The friendliest villain ever.
It's very funny because, you know, you get the villainous cop character.
Maybe you're in the desert in America and a cop follows you.
It's very funny if it's a Mountie on a horse.
It's Mountie.
You know what speed you were going there?
Hey, you were aware what speed you were going there?
Hey, Harry.
Hey, there was something wrong with your tail, eh?
Nothing wrong with pink, I do.
Oh, my.
That's right.
Sorry about that.
Sorry about that,
but you should get that looked at, eh?
Yeah, Blofield.
Blofield, yes.
Bald head,
good for slapping.
Very good for slapping.
Nothing to grab onto, though.
Ah, yes.
Smooth.
Just smash his head
into the ring
yeah
and if you're all oiled up
that's just gonna like
glide right off
if I go for that
I could just slip over him
and then my crotch is in his face
and people are like
reverse over your head
yeah
risky move
risky move
risky business
I could get cocky
that's the other risk I guess
like you know
cause he's in a wheelchair
I'm going around
just doing all the boxing things to the crowd.
Come on, guys, let's do this.
He comes up behind me when I'm not looking.
Smacks you in the back with his bald head.
Headbutts you in the small of your back.
Destroys your spine.
This could be a good move for Blofield.
He could just wheel, go around the ring getting real
fast right and we'll at you slam on his brakes and launch his like bald face at you at speed
like a bullet yeah that's i mean that's like a very ballsy move on his behalf but if that's his
finisher if he rams into your spine with his bald head yeah and you're like that's why they call him
the wheelchair maker i get it and you're leaning up And you're like, that's why they call him the wheelchair maker. I get it.
And you're leaning up and you're like lying there.
You can't move.
And then he starts going around in circles and you're like, I know.
I'm like trying to lift myself up by the ropes on the side.
There he is coming at you like a train and you're like, this is it.
And then wow, into your head with his head.
He takes us both out.
What a twist in the end He could have won it
Ends with a murder-suicide fight
Gosh, what a twist
He real committed
All the crowd being like
I don't
We got rid of the guy that was beating up the cripple
But at what cost?
At what cost?
I'm like, this isn't clean enough.
I don't know who the villain is.
They were all villains.
I reckon I can give it to George. They're all just people.
I'll give that to George.
You can be clever about it.
You don't get cocky.
Which I know, it would be kind of hard.
I'm liking this old man. It it's a good like track we're on yeah yeah so to kind of keep up with the the old man
vibe i'm gonna go with the wizard of oz because like excellent choice you guys have been like
old man but they're still kind of fit they're still kind of you know agile the wizard of oz
is not not at. Not at all.
There is an old grandpa who has been enjoying his pudding.
He has been enjoying his pudding.
But you're right.
He's a man who's grown fat and lazy on the Emerald City's, you know, resources and bounty.
So, yeah, I could easily clock him in the face.
Yeah.
In terms of playing dirty,
I feel like he's another one that would not be worried about that. he'd play he's all his illusions and tricks exactly you know you'd
be going to swing at him and then it turns out it's mike tyson and you're like oh then you get
so i was imagining you put like the giant face and and then i just kind of like move behind the
screen there he was but like if he's getting other people involved oh tricky tricky yeah that's the
you might be fighting him then it turns out he's just like over somewhere behind a curtain
controlling the him that you're fighting.
But I'm looking at a picture of him here,
and yeah, he's not in great shape.
Oh, look at that face.
Oh!
I feel like he doesn't look that old and decrepit.
He's not.
He could be older and more decrepit, all I'm saying.
I reckon he looks like,
if we're going to talk about old man strength,
I feel like he looks like he's got some old man strength in him.
I don't know.
He's probably had a lot of Emerald City parts.
Yeah, but also he's a wily one, you know?
He's good at manipulating, which a lot of the people we've chosen have been.
But he's the kind of person that might be like, oh, well.
What's that over there?
Yeah, I don't know what it is.
I was going to be like, oh, well, damn it. You could fight me or you could get out of Oz.
But you're not really trapped in Oz.
I'm finding a photo here looking through all these pictures of just like the Tin Man's move and Michael Jackson's move.
Someone's like, they're similar.
He is well dressed.
That's true.
And like Devil Wears Prada might like, you know, cheer him on and give him like an extra boost.
That's a good point.
Plus, he's good at building allies, so you might just
go in there and be booed by the entire
crowd. He's got a whole army potential
at his disposal, doesn't he? He could just send against you.
Oz is looking for him because
they're like, what? Where did
he go? To fight a guy in a cage?
Somewhere in Alaska? Why?
Yeah, and I need that
crowd support. Like, if they start booing
me, I'm in tatters.
You're getting out of it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, I like that both times it's like the emotional damage is your downfall.
It's the part that hurts, yeah.
Other than that, though, like...
You might win physically, but...
I think you could, because he seems like the kind of guy,
one punch to the head and he's down.
You know what I mean?
He's got that look. You just clock him once
in the mouth and whoop. And tell me you don't want
to go up to him and just cold clock
him right in his belly. This sounds more like
you just really don't like this guy.
Even if he could take it, you'd still want to
fight him. Even if he was just in the crowd
being like, well, I quite enjoy it. You're like,
get in here.
Look at this photo. He looks decrepit in this photo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He looks like a skeleton.
He does look a bit rough now.
He looks like he's on death's door.
Yeah, that one looks very bad.
Honestly, Zalman, it might just be a white angle.
That's what I was going to say.
Just running around the cage away from him.
All I've got to do is kind of sidestep him once
and just kick the side of his knee.
He's going to drop like a sack of potatoes And then I just gotta
You know get him in a stranglehold
And be like yield
That's true
Back to the yields
All oiled up
His sweaty liver spotted loose skin
Giving way underneath
Your strong powerful young legs.
Me.
Knees either side, strangling him.
Balls resting on his chin.
The sweaty smell of manhood
filling his elderly nostrils, reminding him of another time.
College.
67. College.
67.
Cambridge.
You give him a flashback to a nicer time.
And that's what
takes him out.
I think he's the kind of guy
that gives up easy.
Because he doesn't seem
to have much,
like yeah,
he's good at manipulating,
but once that's all gone.
I feel like once the
curtain's pulled back,
he is.
He's a one trick pony. Absolutely. Exactly, yeah, he's good at manipulating, but once that's all gone. I feel like once the curtain's pulled back, he is. Yes. He's a one-trick pony.
Absolutely.
Exactly.
The moment the smoke and mirrors goes, he's fucked.
Yeah, in, like, The Wizard of Oz, they're like, oh, this.
And he's like, well, guess half a clock.
You've got a heart, son.
He just had a diploma to give to the Scarecrow.
Is that his diploma?
Well, I guess he could just write one up.
The scarecrow's stupid. He already had it.
That's weird.
Yeah.
I think the moment you get him in a position,
maybe not even like a deadlock,
you're just like,
hey, this is a chance. You know what I mean?
He'll give up first opportunity.
He'll be going for a deal.
Yeah, exactly. He'll be making a deal real quick. He'll be tapping
out. Yeah. Pride isn't one of his big things
He's ready to throw you in the towel
Very quickly
Before you even start
Are you ready to rumble?
Alright, fight!
I'm out
Send me back to office
Easy win
I think that's just you in the bag
Alright so
We've all gone for old man
Previously
For some reason
But I've gone in the other direction
Young girl
Okay not the complete opposite
Okay
Sid from Toy Story
He's just a boy
A troubled boy
He's very cruel.
He could bully this shit out of you.
Although your ego is iron will.
It's true.
I'm indestructible, like, emotionally.
Mentally, I'm very destructible.
You can tear me apart in a second.
But it doesn't matter what Sid says to me.
Like, he's like, yeah, maybe he'll hurt his other kids his age.
But if he starts making fun of me, I'm like, whatever, man.
You're like six.
And then I just punch him in the mouth.
A lot of the crowd booing.
I'm joining George there.
You're going on the villain now, yeah.
That is.
The moment I'm doing the same of punching him in the legs,
whatever, and everyone's like... He's just a boy.
He's just a boy.
Here's the thing, though.
I don't want to psychoanalyze here.
Yeah, sure.
But is there a risk of you looking at Sid and being like,
he's me?
He just goes, really?
And you're like, no one should hit you, Sid.
Oh, my God, Sid.
Sorry.
Who hurt you?
My little boy.
The world will hurt you enough.
I'm going to take you away from all this.
We're going to team up.
We're going to team up.
We're going to get them all.
And then they lathered up and his balls are on his chin.
Sid, you're a beautiful boy.
I might win because Sid can't bear to see it
Sid's like this is very sad
Everyone's like boo
This is worse
Please I don't want to see this man bowling in the middle of my wrestling match
This is sad
And then I just turn to the crowd pleading like
He's me
He's me He's me
It's your fault
You people did this
Sid comes from behind
Just bang on the back
The crowd cheers him
He's like yeah
Sid
Sid
Sid
And he's just like us in the crowd
Like that was Jack
That's a Jack move
That's a Jack move
Absolutely Wait till somebody's emotional Hit him with a chair I've seen him do that And he's just like us in the crowd, like, that was Jack. That's a Jack move. That's a Jack move, absolutely.
Wait till somebody's emotionally devastated.
Hit him with a chair.
I've seen him do that.
This is good.
Usually metaphorically, but this is...
This is for real.
I've seen Jackson do it twice metaphorically, once for real.
Get on your sit.
Just like Jackson.
Sid, Sid, Sid.
It's great to imagine us in the car home. I'm like, did I win? You're like, God, man, Sid, Sid. It's great to imagine us in the car home.
I'm like, did I win?
You're like, God, man.
In a way.
Morally.
Yeah, I feel quite cathartic.
I don't remember much of the fight.
Yeah, you were something.
I don't know what you regret.
We really got to talk about this.
You were crying. I I mean first of all Jackson
You invited us to watch you fight a child
We were already a bit
I was seeing George ruin a cripple
I was way too worried
Hoping that the child was just his nickname
Because he's actually so big
I can't wait to watch Jackson fight this guy And then it's like see it in me And you guys are like That's not his nickname. The idea of... Because he's actually so big. I can't wait to watch Jackson fight this guy
and then it's like, see it in me.
And you guys are like, that's not his opponent, right?
That's just a kid.
Let's get ready to rumble.
Oh my God, he's going to hit him.
Going to smack a child in the face?
Let's get ready.
Oh my God.
Wow, this is taken a turn.
This has gone dark.
Yes.
I feel like in terms of Toy Story characters, I was looking at it.
I was like, well, surely you'd go for the bear in number three.
Lotso.
What's his name again?
Lotso.
Lotso.
That's right.
Yeah.
But his homey wisdom sounding voice would be kind of scarring.
And he seems like a sadist.
He seems like the kind of guy that he might...
Maybe I trip over and he just stabs me in the mouth with a knife or something.
Wow, that's escalated quickly again.
But that seems like the kind of guy he is.
And he'd be easily hiding a shiv
because he's perfect to hide something in.
Yeah, exactly.
All he has to do is just
like like he's on top of me his sweaty bare thighs on either side of my neck then all he has to do
is like like i don't know reveal through his fur that he's got a like a cut stitched in him
remove the stitches pull a knife out of inside his fur stab me in the mouth a bunch. That's graphic. But that's the kind of guy lots of Huggins is.
But if I get the upper hand, you know, it's very scary.
Well, but, you know, it doesn't even have to be a knife.
What if he just puts a bowling ball in him?
And I just punch him in the gut and break my hand.
That's more threatening than I first thought.
Yeah, that's why you choose Sid.
His worst-case scenario, you regress to being a child for some reason i'll give you half a point as it could go either way look i'll take it i'll take it
if i get in there before i start crying one punch i'm out but if i'm not quick enough oh it's just
it's lights for this boy all right george you got another um i? I'm trying to find a... Okay, look, there's a few bigger kind of opponents we can take on.
But I think if I'm going to have to pick one,
I'm spoiled for choice.
That's a problem.
Because originally I was thinking we would go with something a bit bigger,
maybe like the Third Reich.
All right.
It's like a history on my side.
That's what I'm saying.
Indiana Jones, he takes them on.
You'd have the crowd just cheering.
That's what I mean.
I was thinking Indiana Jones.
And also, they're just going to really kill themselves
if it's Indiana Jones kind of villain.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's like, let's get ready to rumble,
and they open the Ark of the Covenant.
Or look at a crystal skull.
All you've got to do is shut your eyes
that's Russians though
that's the Ark of the Covenant
that's the KGB, so if you're fighting like
Indiana Jones' Nazi enemies
you just need to have
you just need to have the artifact that
they will destroy themselves with
that you will survive with
they're idiots, they're dumb
the Nazis in Indiana Jones are stupid guys.
Like really easy to beat.
What is it?
It's the Ark of the Covenant
which they just crack open.
They're like,
yeah, whatever.
This is probably good.
Oh, shit.
Then there's the Goblet of Fire
or whatever.
Yep.
They drink that.
Harry Potter's Goblet of Fire.
That's the one.
That's the one
Jesus's blood was.
Exactly.
I remember that story.
Yep.
It's like Harry Potter
because he's a Jesus lad.
Yep.
He's a staunch Catholic.
It's why his name was allowed in.
Oh, God, yes.
They drink from the wrong cup, yeah?
Yeah.
It's like, oh, drink from the right cup or you drank from the wrong cup.
Because he picks the fanciest cup possible, which is silly.
Like Jesus wants a fancy cup.
Come on.
Come on, guys.
Jesus is a humble guy.
Read your scriptures.
Come on.
Psalm 6 through 7. I said it like that. It's. Come on, guys. Jesus was a humble guy. Read your scriptures. Come on. Psalm 6 through 7.
I think this one
drinks like you were correct.
Jesus loved fancy things.
He loved bling. He was a baller.
What can I say?
Oh.
What do you think I'm going to learn? Moneylenders
gold. Yeah, exactly.
Forged into a cup.
So to defeat-
I actually was reading something.
This is a side note.
Yeah.
It's a little bit,
but Jesus was like,
some people say he walked around saying he was the son of God.
What a hero.
Which I feel is kind of funny.
It's a bold statement to be making.
Walking around like,
guys, I am the son of God.
Because you kind of can't back it up.
Really?
You know?
Apparently he could
I guess Jesus was lucky in that way
He could be like, he's walked on that water and whatnot
Yeah, water into wine
I've said it before
Jesus' miracles
Not that impressive
Oh, I should caveat that
Just in case there was a listener who was like, wait a second
You've said this before, unsubscribe
I come here for fresh
content every episode.
Sometimes I just need to reiterate
that I'm not impressed by Jesus.
Whether or not
he was who he said he was, it's
largely irrelevant. I just think if I
was there at the time and he was like, hey, I walk on water,
I'm like, big deal.
But if you were there at the time, you'd probably be like, whoa!
I'd be like, holy shit! This is way better than watching
the fire.
Yeah, that's true.
Turning a little bit of fish into a lot of fish,
that's kind of cool. I guess.
If you're hungry. Yeah. He couldn't fly.
I guess he wouldn't fly.
Unless the water was flying.
Maybe he was hovering, but still.
Like flame. Like imagine Jesus is standing
out there in the middle of the lake, and after you've had, you're like, whoa.
You're like, anyway, what else can you do?
He's like, hey, do you want some water?
You're like, yeah, I'm really thirsty.
He's like, now it's wine.
I'm like, I just wanted water.
Jesus.
I don't want to get drunk.
It's 4 p.m.
Jesus.
Call me on him.
It's 4 p.m.
Jesus.
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ. Come on, Jesus Christ.'s 4pm, Jesus Jesus Christ Jesus Christ
Come on, Jesus Christ
So, look
You're taking on the
Let's all get Jesus
It's 5pm, fellas
Oh, it's Jesus o'clock somewhere
It's Christ o'clock
In terms of
It's a very funny thing to call
Like, are you drinking now?
Yeah, it's Christ o'clock
What?
I'm a staunch Catholic
I'm a staunch Catholic It's Christ o'clock somewhere What? I'm a staunch Catholic. A staunch Catholic, it's Christ o'clock somewhere.
But I think in terms of taking out the Nazis from Indiana Jones,
unless you smuggled in the Ark of the Covenant
or a fake Jesus cup.
Look, I'm not going to lie.
I got cocky after defeating the old man in the wheelchair.
I might have overcommitted with this Third Reich.
Give me the entire Nazi party.
Couple of Panzer tanks.
I can do this.
All right.
Got it.
Got a Panzer tank in the cage.
It's probably a good bat because it can't really turn.
It can't do anything, really.
I just get a couple of rocks, shove it into the holes.
Sort of good.
We've got some cartoon-esque soot on the person's face as he gets blown back.
That's true. Just steal blown back. That's true.
Just steal bloody
Elmer Fudd's rifle.
Okay, if I,
but although,
if I was going to go,
as long as they're
during the fight,
I get to have the sound effects
of the punches
that get thrown
in Indiana Jones
when I get punched.
Oh, yeah.
You'd be going out
with some joy.
Oh, absolutely.
You'd be happy.
I mean, you'd be happy
but sad
because the Nazis won.
And it would be very sad
for the guy announcing
to be like,
and the winner of this is the Nazis won. And it would be very sad for the guy announcing to be like, and the winner of this is
the Nazi party.
Boo, boo.
A lot of crowd booing.
There's been a lot of booing throughout all this.
I know. I guess it's your redemption
arc, you know?
George, you've got to do something good.
You've got to do something good next fight.
Fight in the third round.
Okay. That's a lot of guys. I'm going to lose. George you've got to do something good You've got to do something good next fight Fight in the third right Okay Alrighty
That's a lot of guys
I'm going to lose
What a hated character I am
Fighting a cripple
And letting the Nazis win
This has not gone the way I wanted it
I've got to be honest
In character arc wise
I was hoping for a recovery
But that's okay
Last one for me
Last one I'm going to put forward
Kangaroo Jack From the film Kangaroo Jack I was hoping for recovery, but that's okay. Last one for me. Last one I'm going to put forward.
Kangaroo Jack.
From the film Kangaroo Jack.
It's a kangaroo wearing a jacket.
I feel like this is solely so you can fight a kangaroo.
A hundred percent.
Isn't that the crazy decision?
I feel like kangaroos definitely got you covered.
Maybe, but then I get to cold clock a kangaroo in the mouth,
and if I can do that at least once, I a happy boy For Zamit a victory is just simply
Punching the kangaroo
Whether or not he wins
As long as his fist connects with its face
I'll be happy
Although I have seen kangaroos
Have you seen those ones where the kangaroos fight?
They're not very coordinated
Oh they're vicious
But they're not coordinated
They're just like
They're just a couple of geeks
The moment it like
Leans back on its tail
And then just disembowels me
I'm fucked
But whilst I'm holding in my guts,
I can take a couple of swings at its stupid face.
So you've got to just get in close.
So you've got to hug it, you know,
that boxing technique.
You've got an MMA, basically.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They've got their little graspy hands hugging.
It'll be grasping you in the back.
You can't really hold, yeah, it's true.
The hands will just be like,
into your chest, just digging away.
It'll grab me.
Scratching away, just like.
If you get it on its back, though,
it's probably fucked.
No, it's because its tail would have bounced back up. Or, go go around the back grab its tail yeah you hold its tail up that root can't
stand again really but what is it the strength of the tail maybe you'd be throwing you off that's
a good strat and all but it's not you know punching a rue in the face yeah look yeah and that's my
like number one priority going into this fight and i don't really care about anything else. If me and George are watching from the
sidelines and you're revealed on one side
and a Rue is revealed, I'm just like, oh god.
Oh, Xanadu's gonna die.
He's definitely in big trouble in this one.
He's gonna punch that Rue and die.
He's gonna be wearing some fancy jacket.
Pritzy's gonna be in the crowd commenting
on the jacket versus what you're wearing.
Oh no, Dan.
Oh, that kangaroo
is going to look so fly
it's going to look so fly
I think there's like
a million dollars
in the pocket
of that jacket
50 grand
so if you win
you're rich
but then you've beaten
him asupial to death
yeah
on stage
with my knees
yeah
once again the crowd
Is not going to be happy
With this fight
I don't think
That's true
But I'll have a big
Shitting grin over my face
Yeah like you'll be
In the car ride home
You'll be smiling
So like
Covenant Ru blood
Just the biggest
Happiest boy
Right here
It's a win for you
But again yeah
I don't know if you will be
The one walking away
From that fight
No no no
The Ru will ruin me
Absolutely
It had been hit by a car
So it might be kind of still fucked.
It's dazed.
That's true.
It's a bit dazed.
And if you can find out where it's been damaged by the car accident
and damaged those bits specifically.
I reckon I could get it.
I mean, it's grizzly.
Again, you could just wait for it to bleed out again.
Ah, another waiting game.
Yeah, there's a lot of waiting games in here.
A lot of y'all have been waiting.
Who knew fighting a villain involvedvolved so much villainous action
To fight a villain
You gotta become a villain
I guess
It's the rule
Exactly
Gotta fight fire with fire
You gotta fight a villain
By being a villain
By being a villain
So yeah I reckon
You V Roo
The Roo wins
Yeah
But you're happy
So it's like
How many punches to the face
Do I get this Roo
I reckon at least three
At least three?
Yeah
Because like he gets in close
Bam, bam, bam
They're not like individual
He can't put much thought into each
But like a bam, bam, bam
And then the Roo just embellishes him
And his guts are on the floor
Yeah
Yeah, because the Roo's not exactly going to have good flex
It's going to be ducking, weaving
Yeah, it's not going to be
The Roo doesn't know what's going on
It doesn't care
It's like
Would you reckon it you even feel it,
to be honest?
You'd hope for something.
I'd hope.
For my sake,
it has to.
It's stupid face.
I feel like the fact
that it can get hit by a car
and still be gone,
I don't know if your
flimsy fists,
no offense.
I saw a gif of somebody
punching a kangaroo.
Yeah, it's one of my favorites.
I kind of almost watch it daily.
That's where this comes from.
It's like, you know how people have their vision board
to kind of whatever they inspire to have and do?
That is basically online.
Wait a second.
Yes?
Kangaroo Jack's not a villain, is he?
No.
At all.
This is completely not the show.
It's just you wanting to fight kangaroo
or punch a kangaroo.
Look, I'm not going to lie.
I had to really be like, my objective here is to fight a kangaroo.
Has there ever been a villainous kangaroo?
He kind of steals their money, but not really.
Not really.
It's just sort of happenstance.
You nearly got away with it too, to be honest.
He just didn't worry.
We're like, all right, let's go with this.
Fighting kangaroos.
I was so close. That was fighting anyone.
I don't really remember Kangaroo Jack, but sure.
Yeah, sure.
Does it seem like a villain?
For the time he's the show named after him.
Neither of you win, but you can fight him in the car park if you want.
Unsanctioned.
Not part of the main competition.
Yeah, that's it.
That's one to the side.
So now we're fighting good guys.
I'm not a good guy.
Just an animal that was there.
Just a basic animal.
That's what we're doing.
I've wanted to kick a wombat.
Solid.
You'd break your foot.
Yeah, that would be.
Wow.
All right.
So my final Villain to fight
Does anybody remember the movie The Great Mouse Detective
No
Okay so it was a Disney film about a mouse
Sherlock Holmes basically
And the villain of it was a guy called Rattigan
Who was just a rat
Yes
It's just a rat
But it's a clever rat
Doesn't matter how clever a rat is
If I stand on it, it's dead.
I just need to get Rattigan by his tail and hurl him into a wall,
and then that's it, game over.
Your knees, giant knees, either side of the rat.
I could eat Rattigan.
You could.
Wait, no, I changed mine.
Yeah.
Hopper from A Bug's Life.
You're just going...
Let's get smaller!
I can't believe... Hopper's like bug's life Let's get smaller I can't believe
Hopper's like
Winner winner
Winner winner
And he would not be doing teamwork
To try and take you down
He's a bad guy
He doesn't know how to work as a team
So I just consume Hopper and move on
That's a win for me
That is a win.
Although I eat a scallop pie because you ate the opponent.
That's right.
Murder wasn't allowed.
Was that not allowed?
Was that part of the rules?
Look, maybe.
All right.
Then I pull off his wings.
You're a monster.
All he can do is walk around the place.
That's so villainous.
That's a defeated villain.
You've got gotta become a villain
Although if I think about
A grasshopper
I don't think they have wings
That are just like attached
I think if I pull off his wings
That's a
That's a dead grasshopper
That's a very damaged grasshopper
Yeah
Yes
Let's find a picture of Hopper
From A Bug's Life
Because
I'm not trying to pick
The smallest
Yeah
The easiest one to beat
I'm not trying to think
Of child villains
Who's the bad guy In Lord of the Flies?
Is there a bad guy in that?
Oh, yeah, but they're violent.
Yeah, that's scary.
Don't fight kids.
No, no.
What about, I don't know, in Look Who's Talking,
is there a bad baby?
This guy wants to belt a baby.
I really want to get booed now.
I reckon I could take on a baby easily.
You think so?
You've really lost
most of your fights,
haven't you?
So now you're
sticking to belting
children.
Boss baby.
Boss baby.
Boss baby.
He's just a baby.
I haven't seen it,
but from the commercials
it just looks like
a baby with the voice
of Alec Baldwin.
You could easily
beat up a baby
with the voice
of Alec Baldwin. Yeah. Seems beat up a baby with the voice of Alec Baldwin.
Yeah.
Seems easy.
All dogs go to heaven.
Is there an evil dog?
Yeah, but it's like the Satan of dogs.
Oh, shit.
Is there anything smaller than a bug's life?
But anything smaller starts getting dangerously small.
Outbreak.
The outbreak.
Samit, you can't fight an illness.
Your side of the cage opens up
The illness opens up
You die
We're like I guess
What?
I can't oil up the bacteria or virus
That there was
And wrassle it
No
You can't put your knees on either side of it
What about the monkey that gave everyone the virus?
Well you can fight that
But you shouldn't fight a monkey
Monkeys are scary.
They're quite strong, I think. It's a capuchin.
It's infect. Oh, is it a little capuchin?
It's a capuchin. Ah, you could take a capuchin.
An infected capuchin. Sure, you could take a capuchin.
You can take the capuchin and die. Yeah, I could take it,
but, like, the illness isn't that quick,
like, acting, is it? I'm not sure.
I'm pretty sure, like, a couple
hours. Yeah, true. I could strangle that
monkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could strangle that monkey. Yeah, you could strangle the monkey.
You yourself would die, but you'd win.
It's a moral victory and an actual victory
because I got that monkey.
Wow.
Now I'm trying to...
Anything smaller than a bug, Jack?
I'm trying to Google smallest villain.
Louis the Fly.
Has it actually come up? No, but I just thought. Louis the Fly. Has it actually come up?
No, but I just thought of Louis the Fly.
Louis the Fly is a fly from a lot of Australian ads for bug spray.
For Mortain.
And he is a villain because, as me and Ryder realised recently,
Louis the Fly never dies.
No.
But he always leads other bugs to their death.
He's like a Judas goat.
Yeah.
Or, me and Ryder think it's someone working for the mob.
Because Louis the Fly is always like, hey, everybody,
come to this house to squirt food.
And then everyone dies and he's like, oh, got away with it.
And presumably he goes back to some bug boss and he's like,
I took care of the mosquito twins.
I always assumed that was all just debts he owed.
He's like, yeah, I got your money.
Come here.
This house got real good food.
And then they just die
I mean like it makes sense
Are there any other
Villains
That are smaller than a fly
Like a flea
I guess is all you're left with
Is there any villainous fleas
Flee from a bug's life
Too small can't catch him
Goes into my brain, kills me.
Yeah, because the smaller you go,
you're just going to get a bacteria or a virus.
And then you're doing my thing where you're fighting contagion.
And that's just contaminated blood.
Well, I think I've...
Look, since we're just going with winning,
how about the iceberg from Titanic?
Ah
Yes
Already dead
A waiting game
The waiting game
Just melts
Global warming
Yes
I know, I've got extra advantage on my side
That's true, jeez
This is you and the giant iceberg in a ring
All oiled up
No holes barred.
Mano a iceberg-o.
You could chip out...
It's going to take you a while, but you could chip away at it.
Yeah.
You know what? I'd probably die before it melted,
wouldn't I? Maybe.
I think I'd lose this one.
I think you'd lose to it.
I think I'd lose to the iceberg.
You might, because it's easy. As it's melting,
you get delicious water to refresh yourself.
Ice water.
Not good for drinking.
Isn't it good for drinking?
No.
It's full of like-
It sounds like you've got a theory about this.
It's dirty, yeah.
Seawater.
Bad.
It's like drinking the same.
Is it?
It's all seawater.
That makes a lot of sense.
Think about it.
When you freeze salt water, it doesn't magically become fresh water.
No.
I feel like a huge perspective shift has just happened in my brain.
Has anybody ever done a prank where they get seawater into like an ice tray
and leave that ice tray in the freezer?
And then when someone's like, oh, I'll refresh my water.
Why is it salty?
That's a good slow acting prank.
Someone do this prank for me and tell me how it went.
Yes.
Thank you.
We've got a new villain in town.
With the heat being produced by all those lumberjacks in that room,
I feel that's going to aid in the melting of the iceberg.
That's true.
Here's the problem, though.
You drown.
Yeah.
That's a lot of water.
See, that's what I mean.
It's funny that you lost to an iceberg,
but at the end of the day,
our wins were pretty minuscule.
Yeah, to be honest.
Yeah, I don't know if there's been many wins at all.
Our wins were like not good wins.
No.
Like no one was happy,
but your losers,
everyone was very impressed.
You drowned a whole auditorium
and you went out to the Third Reich.
Yeah.
I forgot you let the Nazis win.
My losses are really
bad for everyone, to be honest.
I'll take that. If I'm going down, I'm taking
everyone with me.
Wait, why are the Nazis in
charge again? George lost in a
wrestling match. I don't know why it happened after
that, to be honest. there's a lot of factors involved
that should have stopped this.
They were all just oiled up and they just kept on going.
Going for it.
It was intense.
It's just kind of like one of those moral victories.
They're like morale victories.
Kind of like boosted them up.
Yeah, they were like, we finally got a win.
And yeah, just kind of snowballed up.
George is bummed about it, though.
He feels bad pretty bad
they're all drinking from the fanciest mugs now yeah yeah you know like jesus he was a baller
he had swagger so he yeah i hate to tell you he was a baller as well it's a lot of lot to take in
to be honest this is all from this wrestling fight who knew Who knew that these just simple rage in a cage,
hell in a cell, battles to become king of the ring
would end with such a different world than when we started.
It's like a water world run by Nazis.
As we're driving home and I'm in a boat now, I guess,
and I'm weeping in the back seat.
I'm covered in blue blood.
You're just holding in your guts
One hand on the wheel
Grinning saying
Worth it
Mate it was the best fight ever
George you're like
Are the Nazis back?
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
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Yeah
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Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
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Yeah
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Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
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Yeah
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Yeah
Yeah
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Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah I made a mistake, guys. Did not pick the right opponents. No.
And on that note, I've been Joel.
I've been Jackson.
I've been George.
We're not going to get busy dying or get busy fighting.
Yeah!
Bing, bing. Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Saturday night's alright.
Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, to follow us on Twitter,
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Thank you again for listening
and we'll see you again next time.
Good night for now.
But not forever.
Kisses.